Chapter 20 (Tris' POV)

Has it changed? Would I now be Seven? Or Five?

These thoughts raced through my mind as Tobias and I walked, hand in hand, to the Fear Landscape Room. While the happiness of getting back together with Tobias again has not yet worn off (and I started to doubt it ever will), there were still jitters in my stomach as I approached the Room were still there. It's okay, I kept reminding myself. I'll be with Tobias, it'll be okay to go through the Fear Landscape if Tobias is there... Besides, I'll be going to his Landscape first...

We arrive, and after Tobias tinkers with the controls to set the program to his Landscape, he hands me the box with the two syringes. They don't look any different from the last time that I saw them. I take out the small syringe, which seems quite large in my hand, and face up as I insert it into Tobias' neck. He doesn't flinch, but then again, he's probably done this hundreds of times before I came. I tilt my head and expose my neck for Tobias to insert the needle. As his hand, rough with calluses, brushes my blonde hair back, the butterflies intensify. I keep my face blank and try not to flinch as the metal is inserted into my neck, and when it's done, I put both syringes back in the box before opening the door and walking in, finding myself, along with Tobias, standing on the concrete floor.

Confused, I glance at Tobias. "Not afraid of heights anymore?" I ask.

"No, I guess not."

Suddenly, walls appear around us, and I wrap my arms around him, trying to take up less space. Without a word or any sound, really, his arms go around me too. His breathing is ragged as he hunches over. The feeling of muscle against my skin is no longer so foreign, and I feel guilty for noticing this when Tobias is frantic, trying to escape while knowing that he can't. "Hey, it's okay, I'm here, we'll get through this together!" I think, trying to remember something that would make Tobias happy, not afraid. It takes less than a few seconds, before I say, "We're back together now. We're together now. It's okay." He smiles a little, and the walls disappear.

"Hey that was much faster than last time!" he exclaims, and I laugh. "Probably because of what happened earlier today. Still very happy about it." He smiles for real, and I smile back. He glances over his shoulder, and the laughter disappears from his eyes. The woman is standing there, with her gun pointed at us. A black table appears to our right, and on it is a gun and one silver bullet. I watch as he puts the single bullet inside the chamber of the gun, and e turns toward me, saying, "Look away, Tris" before firing. I hear her crumble onto the floor, and then the scene changes once again. We are now inside a typical Abnegation bedroom.

A dark figure approaches us from the shadows, towards where we stand, right in the middle of the room. Marcus is walking slowly forward, a belt in his hand. As he walks forward, he unravels the belt from his fingers, and I see Tobias struggling to stand tall, to not curl back at the threat. I so desperately want to do something to help him, but I am frozen, unable to do anything as a dozen more Marcuses appear, and "This is for your own good" echoes a dozen times, and a dozen pair of dark, depth less, merciless eyes blink and stare at us. But as they raise the belt high above their heads, all of them striking forward like a viper, I dart in front of Tobias, who had thrown up his hands to protect his face. The sting of the belt, which I haven't felt since my own initiation a year ago, is sharp as ever. Before I can do what I did last year, Tobias jumps in front of me, anger and a promise of revenge etched on his face in the place of fear. All the Marcuses disappear.

"That's it? Only three fears now? Tobias-" I whip my head around, for he had disappeared. But then I saw him. Through the glass. I was separated from him. This was his new fear? Separation from me? I got my answer the next second, when another person appeared behind him and walked toward him. She looked just like me... She is me, I realized with a start. But... Tobias isn't afraid of me! No... He's afraid of... I see Simulation Tris yelling at him. I hear Simulation Tris screaming at him. I hear her yelling about betrayal. Hurt. Unworthiness. A faceless man appears next to Simulation me, and I see myself linking my arms into his, and walking away. And for the first time ever, I see Tobias beginning to break down. It shatters my heart, seeing him like this. Was he honestly afraid of me breaking up with him? I hate myself for it, hate myself that my stupid actions and my stupid thoughts and insecurities made Tobias afraid of such a thing. It's all my fault... If I looked past my damned insecurities, I would never have done such hurtful things to him, never. And now, this is one of his worst fears. Losing me. With the tears making everything blurry and the sobs that disallow me to hear anything, I don't realize that Tobias was free of the simulation, and that it's over. Tears are streaming down his face as well, although he's trying hard to stop it. I walk over to him and wrap my small arms around his torso. "I'd never leave you for someone else. You're the only one for me, Tobias. I'm sorry."

We stay there until the time for Uriah's gathering arrives (which comes all too soon), too absorbed in our thoughts to begin to set the program to my Landscape. It is an unspoken decision to go through mine tomorrow, to see if the same thing would occur. But for now, we have enough to think about, so hand in hand, we walk toward our apartment to prepare to go to Uriah's.

A/N: It's late, so I'm just going to say Merry Christmas, and I hope that you are all enjoying the holidays, whether it is Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas...

madisonbookaddict14: Thanks~ I'm planning on having that occur maybe in a sequel, if there is going to be one, but no, Tris is not going to be pregnant anytime soon XD Okay, after Fourtris go through Tris' Fear Landscape, I'll put in some more Aly and Hestia. Fourtris will probably get married at the end of initiation, after Hestia is dead/kicked out. Haven't decided yet XD OMG I LOVE CALEO GAHHHHH I wish Rick Riordan would publish novellas about them, like what they do after they go out of Ogygia, and how (if) they reunite with the rest of the demigods, and everything. :P

Guest: Well, I'd like to say that I could update before Christmas, but today is Christmas, so I guess not :P

Faith Tabor: I do? Oh, I'll have to fix that then. Sorry if you got confused :/ But thanks for telling me :) Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it)

Guest: Erm I might do a crossover, but I'm not sure yet. If I do, idk how to message you since you are a guest, so yea... Leave a name next time please :P Merry Christmas :)

Eagle Hawk: Thank you! I'm sorry for the long wait :P

Guest: I don't know Hestia's fate yet- factionless or death? I'll decide later, with the help of you guys :P

NotJustAShadow: Thanks! Well, no one can really separate Fourtris! Thanks again~ I mean, it was your idea :P Uriah's gathering could be an engagement. Marlene 3 Of course, Hestia had that coming. I mean, she tried to separate Fourtris! No one can get away with that! I'm still deciding whether I should kill her off or just make her factionless... :P

fanficforyou: Fourtris are back! :P Thanks! Well, Hestia had it coming. She has more obstacles in the future, that's for sure :P Uriah's party won't be a party, really, but... you'll see! Fourtris' wedding is at the end of initiation, so bear with me!

Booklover4610: Thank you! XD I wish I was Tris. The flowers and the chocolate... Oh yea, you enjoyed the beating-the-crap-outta-Hestia part, didn't u :P Weird rabid chihuahua sounds? XD Okayyyy :P Merry Christmas! (and thanks for sticking up to Chapter 20, and perhaps more! You've reviewd EVERYTHING luv u :P)

CJ potter rider jackson: Thanks! Crush Hestia~ So much enthusiasm! :P

Hooda: yay for Fear Landscapes? :P They're pretty cool- wish I could experience mine. Yes, Fourtris is backkkk :P

: That's my theory too! Panem dissovles into the 5 factions after the Capital is taken down and everything. The Giver is amazing, and so if THG, although the movies could have been better. But yea... :P

artofskating: That's something to celebrate alright-the return of Fourtris, and the beating up of Hestia :P

.frogs: Thank you! Merry Christmas (if you celebrate it)

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays everyone! :)

~myperfectionismyimperfection