A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews. It's Thanksgiving in Huddyland! Be prepared. This is a super long mega-angsty chapter. Thanks Cherokee Jedi for reading this chapter and giving me feedback :)
Shout out to allthingsdecent for her recent "Huddy by way of Wuddy" fic today. Poor BB getting a lot of flack for Wuddy but have faith people, she's 100% Huddy all the time. Sometimes though ya gotta throw a wrench in the works to get those two crazy kids together!
On Thursday morning Cuddy was up earlier than usual to prepare for what she fully expected to be a day from hell. She extricated herself from House's snug grip and shoved a pillow in her place, knowing that he was so beat he wouldn't notice the difference. She looked at him and smiled then bent down to kiss him lightly on the cheek. Given the restless night he'd dealing with his pain, mostly from having been stuck on a plane longer than expected due to the weather, she wanted him to get as much sleep as possible. She'd massaged his leg until the medication from the new patch kicked in. Exhausted, they huddled together under the covers and fell asleep around midnight.
Cuddy finished her yoga around six o'clock and thirty minutes later she had the turkey in the oven. Afterwards, she decided to relish the quiet a bit longer so she prepared a cup of tea, put on her heavy socks and a bulky sweater and went outside and snuggled under a blanket on her new front porch swing. Though the temperature was in the teens and there was a light layer of snow on the ground, it felt like heaven to her. She sipped her tea and thought about the events of the previous day. House, Wilson and Rachel had arrived around noon and the moment she opened the front door to them and Rachel ran into her arms, Cuddy's eyes filled with tears. She had missed them more than she realized.
"Damn woman, it was only two days. Two days. See, she's okay," House said as he watched his woman's eyes fill with tears.
"Shut up, House," she said as she hugged Rachel. When she finished, she stood up and hugged Wilson tightly, pecking him on the cheek, then turned to her grumpy lover.
"I was saving the best for last you ass but I might just change my mind about that," she said in a flirtatious manner. She acted as if she was going to walk away when House reached out and grabbed her arm and pulled her back. He wrapped his arms around her waist and gave her that sexy smirk she loved so much. She feigned annoyance but threw her arms around his neck and pulled him close and gave him a peck on the lips. He gasped, expecting more and then when she raised her eyebrows at him seductively, he laughed from deep within his throat and seized her lips with his own and kissed her deeply, lifting her off of her feet. As they kissed, Wilson groaned and Rachel giggled. It was when House ran his hands down to Cuddy's ass to cop a feel and Cuddy moaned her reaction that Wilson covered Rachel's eyes.
"Umm...guys," he said.
"Hmm?" One of them moaned. He couldn't tell which one.
"Child in the room."
"S'okay Wilson cover your eyes," House replied.
"Not me you ass, Rachel."
"Yeah, you ass," Rachel repeated. Wilson looked horrified.
House and Cuddy stopped kissing and House looked over at Wilson and shook his head as if to say "no, you did not."
"Wilson you did not just curse in front of my child," Cuddy chastised.
"It was an accident."
Rachel tugged on her mother's sweater. "Mommy, ass is not a bad word, it's a animal."
"Yes it is, but it can also be a bad word depending on how you use it."
"And we know how Wilson used it, don't we?" House asked, knowingly.
Cuddy turned to Wilson. "Can you take her to her room and help her unpack? I need to talk to House a moment."
House thought he was in trouble but when they were finally alone, Cuddy turned back to him and in that husky sultry voice that he loved so much, said,"Now, where were we?"
"You want more? Here?" He asked, surprised.
"Can you think of a better place?"
"Uh...bedroom?"
"No. Need you...now." She grabbed his shirt and pulled him roughly to her again. Not being one to turn down such a request, kissed her again and that time second seemed to turn into minutes as the two made out passionately in the foyer of her home. Their tongues dueled for dominance and they stayed connected, grasping at each other's clothing and body parts and kissing as if they were long-lost lovers who hadn't seen one another in years.
"Two days is too long," she said, panting, as they parted.
"I agree." He nuzzled her neck. He inhaled her scent and to him, it felt like home.
"I missed you." She pulled away gently, smoothed his collar and ran her hands through his mussed hair. "You know, I kinda like this thoroughly kissed look on you," she said.
"Ditto." He winked at her. "There's more where that came from."
"Save it for tonight, stud."
"What about Wilson?"
"I'm really a one-man woman House but if you insist-" she joked.
"Aren't you worried he'll hear us?"
"We'll just have to be quiet now won't we?" She replied seductively.
Suddenly she felt giddy thinking about that moment. They'd never been very public about their affection, even around Wilson, but it just didn't seem to matter anymore. She'd felt like kissing him right then and there, and so she did. It was daring and wonderful.
"Mind if I join you?" Wilson appeared suddenly, shivering with flushed cheeks.
"Sure," she said as she picked up the blanket covering her and made room for Wilson who took the other half and covered himself.
"It's cold."
"Yeah we're going to get more snow. I love it."
"Me too."
"So, did you sleep okay?" She asked.
"Actually I did. That bed is so comfortable. You sure you don't mind me staying here?"
"I'd rather have you stay here than at a hotel. You're family."
They sat in comfortable silence and looked out at the front lawn covered in snow. Finally, Cuddy spoke again.
"So...House and Rachel...got along pretty well?"
He nodded emphatically. "She's got him wrapped around her pinky."
"Really?"
"You can't tell? She worships the ground he walks on. He refers to her as a mini-you but really I think she's just as much a mini-House."
Cuddy chuckled at the thought. "She told me about the poker game."
He cringed.
"Betting with Cheerios? Seriously?" She asked.
"It was Rachel's idea!"
"Really?"
"Yeah, she did. She really is a mini-you, Cuddy."
Cuddy shook her head. "And the cigars?"
"They weren't lit."
She shook her head and smirked.
"Did House tell you about the bike?"
"What bike?"
"She saw House's motorcycle and wanted to ride on it and he told her maybe when she was older but for now since she's so little, she'd have to be happy with a little girl bike. She wants him to buy her one and teach her how to ride."
"What'd he say?"
"He didn't know what to say so he changed the subject. I could tell he was worried about not being able to run after her or get to her fast enough in case something happens."
"I wish he wouldn't focus so much on what he can't do, I mean there's so much he can do. He can teach her so much. He already has."
"When she was with him, he talked to her like an adult, not a kid. He showed her how things work, explained things to her where she could understand and encouraged her to ask questions. He always seemed to be teaching her something."
"Just like his fellows."
"Yeah, he's always been a great teacher."
"What's he like back home?"
"Oh you know, he's your garden variety House. You remember that, right? Moody, moocher, annoying pain in the ass. But...oddly devoid of that dark side we got so used to seeing all those years."
"I'm so glad to hear that."
"For a man who hated change, he sure did it didn't he?"
"Yeah, he did," she remarked quietly. Then she turned to Wilson. "Back then...I really did love him for who he was, annoying, broken and all. I was happy with him but sad because I knew how he felt about happiness...that it was just a pipe dream. I knew he thought it couldn't last. I'd hoped that he could see he could be happy and maybe he'd want to change...for himself, not for me."
"It took a drastic set of circumstances for him to want to live his life differently."
"I never wanted it to be about me...I mean...It was too much pressure knowing that his sobriety and sanity depended upon me. I know that sounds narcissistic-"
"No, Cuddy, it doesn't."
"Now, he's really okay. He did that himself. I didn't. You didn't. He did it."
"He sure as hell did."
"I miss him so much. I wish he was here."
"He is here." He looked at her puzzled.
She fidgeted with her blanket and then looked over at him, a forlorn expression. "No, I mean really here, with us."
Wilson understood. "He misses you too. We hang out together and do guy stuff but at the end of the day, there's always something missing. It took some time to really admit it but the old days are gone and they're not coming back. I think that's a good thing. Instead of trying to hold on to the past, it's time to put it in its place and move on. Only this time, moving on means forward and to something, not backward and running away from it."
"You're right."
He put his hand over hers and squeezed gently. "Cuddy," he said softly. "The future holds all kinds of great stuff for you guys. For all of us. Don't just talk about what makes you happy, do it."
She smiled at him and squeezed his hand in return. "I've missed you, Wilson. You've always been a good friend." She leaned over and kissed his cheek. His face flushed and he gave her a boyish grin.
"Remind me why we never hooked up?" He joked.
"Oh my God, it would've been like having sex with my brother," she replied. And they both burst out laughing.
House peeked outside the blinds and saw Cuddy and Wilson talking. He wondered what they were up to. He could hear muffled voices but couldn't make out what they were saying. He wasn't worried about what they were talking about, just curious. He saw her kiss Wilson's cheek and then they both started laughing. What's that all about? He wondered. Just then, he felt something tugging on his shirt from behind. He turned around and a little girl stood there smiling.
"Whatcha doin'?" She asked.
"Nothing."
"Don't look like nothin' to me," she said in her best smartypants voice.
"I'm eavesdropping if you must know."
"What's eezdroppin?"
"Eaves-dropping," he said with emphasis. "It means sneaking up on someone and listening to their conversation without them knowing."
"Why you doin' that?"
"Because I can."
"Oh. Well, I'm hungry."
"Go make yourself some breakfast."
"I'm too little to cook," she asserted.
"Neither can I."
"Uh huh you do know how cause you make the best pancakes ever."
"Oh yeah? Better than mommy's?"
"Mommy's pancakes taste funny."
House nodded in agreement. Cuddy tended to use the gluten-free pancake mix and both he and Rachel hated it. "Well I'll make them and they won't taste funny, how's that?"
Rachel jumped up and down. "Yay!" She yelled. At that moment, Cuddy and Wilson entered the house.
"What's this all about?" She asked.
"Howse is going to make pancakes."
"Oh he is?"
"Yep. Mommy, his pancakes don't taste funny." Wilson tried not to laugh.
"Oh. Well...go cook, I have things to do." She patted Rachel on the head and walked past House into the kitchen, swaying her hips just for him though Wilson caught sight too and they both tilted their heads to watch.
A few hours later Cuddy's family arrived. House kept well hid until Arlene nagged Cuddy ad nauseam about it being rude of him not to greet their guests. Cuddy had to practically drag House out of her bedroom and into the living room, promising sex if he would behave himself.
"Gregory." Arlene said, in a chastising voice as she walked past him, her arms loaded with bags.
"Dragonlady," he muttered under his breath.
"What was that Greg?" She asked suspiciously, peering at him from inside the kitchen.
"Oh nothing, just saying 'great to see ya,'" he replied sarcastically.
Cuddy nudged him. "Hang in there."
"Gramma!" Rachel suddenly burst into the room and ran over to Arlene and grabbed her legs.
"Hey hey, don't knock an old woman over," she said patting the little girl's head.
"Aunt Lisa!" Cuddy's niece, fourteen-year-old Samantha, rushed toward her and gave her a big hug, followed by her brothers, sixteen-year-old Jacob and twelve-year-old David.
Cuddy hugged all three. "You guys are getting so big," she said. She looked the kids up and down amazed at how much they'd grown. There was Jake, who at just sixteen, was nearing six feet tall and was strapping and handsome like his father. He played baseball, loved music and earned straight A's in school. Next was Sam, who was petite and small like her mother, with the same small nose and hazel eyes. At fourteen, she was more interested in shopping, boys and volleyball. Finally there was the youngest, twelve-year old Dave, who was every bit his mother in personality and attitude and he had his father's eyes. He also liked to play the piano, something neither parent could ever figure out since neither had ever shown an affinity for it.
"I missed you guys so much," Cuddy said. "How are you doing?" She asked sympathetically she rubbed Dave's massive head of hair.
"We miss dad."
"I know it's hard kiddo but you gotta hang in there. You guys need to help each other and be there for mom."
"It's not the same without him," Sam said regretfully.
"I know, honey. I felt that way when your grandpa died. It hurt a long time. But it gets better, I promise." She continued catching up with the kids until her sister approached and hugged her.
"Hey you," she held her close and whispered in her ear. "I've missed you so much, Leese."
"Same here. I'm glad you made it," she said.
"Were you worried I wouldn't?"
"No, I guess...we ended things a little abruptly last time we talked."
"Hey, I was in a mood besides I'm not going to miss my only sister's Thanksgiving dinner. And mom would never have let me hear the end of it anyway," she laughed.
"How bad was she today?"
"Oddly enough, not too bad to me, but the kids? She drove them crazy. She nagged Jake about what it says about a girl whose ass crack shows when she bends over and then she proceeded to advise Sam of the dangers of unprotected sex."
"Oh God."
"Exactly. Next year you come see us so I don't have to spend hours dealing with her crap."
"Deal." They walked together arm in arm through the foyer, leading the kids into the living room when they looked up and House limped into the room, practically running into them. The oldest, Jake took notice of the cane and stood straight up taking a defensive pose.
"What's he doing here?"
Cuddy immediately turned to her mother for help. "Mom? Can you and Wilson take Rach into the kitchen? House and I need to talk..." She motioned to Julia and her family.
"Alright, it's about damn time. Just don't kill each other okay?" Arlene ushered Wilson and Rachel into the kitchen.
House knew what was coming. He sat in the chair to rest his leg and Cuddy beside him on the arm. She cleared her throat. "Kids," she said. "You probably already guessed but this is Gregory House."
"The guy who ran his car into Aunt Lisa's house." Sam asked accusingly.
"At your service," he replied. He wasn't joking but he was trying to diffuse the obvious tension.
"You could've killed my mom and dad," Jake said, a bit angrily.
He looked up at the tall boy. "I'm sorry."
"Why the hell did you do it?" Jake asked.
He looked around at the kids, then at Julia, as if asking permission. "Go ahead. They know everything anyway."
He swallowed hard and looked at the kids. "I don't know how much you know about me but I used to have a problem with prescription painkillers, mainly Vicodin."
'Because of your leg, right?" Sam asked.
He nodded. "Yeah. My addiction got worse until finally I began to hallucinate and I checked myself into a psychiatric hospital. It worked...for two years. My leg still hurt like hell, it was never meant to be a cure, just a way for me to figure out how to manage the pain without opiates. Cuddy...your Aunt Lisa and I have known each other since college and well...we had...feelings that we'd been denying for a long time." He paused when he saw her smile and nod for him to continue.
"We finally decided to try and make it work but almost a year into it, she got sick and...I couldn't be there for her, at least not in the way she needed. I was scared and didn't know what to do so I did what I had always done, I turned to the pills. They numbed me, gave me courage to face everything. I thought she might die...that I'd lose her. I couldn't handle it. When we found out everything was going to be okay, she came to her senses and figured out pretty quick that I'd relapsed." He swallowed hard. "She broke up with me a few days later. I just lost it. I...I went downhill fast, doing some pretty drastic things and hurting her a lot in the process."
Jake persisted. "Ramming your car into somebody's house is pretty damn drastic."
"I was hurt and I wasn't very good at expressing myself like normal people. She used to accuse me of taking everything to an eleven. That's what I did. I didn't plan it...it just...I don't know.."
Cuddy decided to assist him in his explanation. "Guys, it was hard...for both of us. We hadn't really talked since the breakup, we were both in a lot of pain but refused to talk to each other about it. We sucked at communication, we always have and when I broke up with him, it was just too hard to talk...for both of us. Finally, we did but it was brief and we argued more than anything. I apologized to him and he told me none of it was my fault. I felt relieved but still terribly guilty for hurting him. I House came to see me later that day..to bring me the hairbrush I'd left at his apartment. I didn't know it at the time but what he wanted was to talk to me...alone. He'd assumed Rachel was still at school and I was alone. He'd hoped maybe we could try and get back to where we were before we started dating. There's so much more to it but all I can say is that when he got there, he saw your mom and dad and me through the window. But he also saw Jerry...this guy your mom tried to set me up with." She looked at Julia and frowned.
House stepped in again. "When I saw her there...with that guy...laughing and smiling, I lost it. I mean at that moment it felt like I meant nothing to her. All those years we shared were just...gone. She'd moved on and I'd lost her for good." He swallowed the lump in his throat and looked up at her. Though they had made up, it was still hard to talk about. He looked up at Cuddy and she urged him to continue.
"I went back to the car, told Wilson to scram and I drove away. I never intended to turn around, if anything I think I wanted to kill myself. I was in self-destruct mode and nobody could've stopped me. But while I was driving down the street...all these feelings hit me...all at once and I couldn't deal with...it was just too much. I just turned the car around and well-"
Cuddy took House's hand. "I've known House since I was a freshman in college and he was in med school, that's how far back we go. I've seen him on his best and worst days and never would I have ever expected that. It broke my heart because I loved him so much. Twenty-five years is a long time to love someone. Breaking up with him was one of the worst mistakes I've ever made and when I did it, I wasn't in my right mind either."
He looked at her gratefully.
"Mom said you skipped town," Jake said.
"Yeah. I did. I'm not proud of that. Not long after, I turned myself in. I couldn't live with it anymore. I couldn't live with what I'd done to her.
"How long were you in prison?" Sam asked.
"Ten months followed by six months on parole. I'm free and clear."
"How did you and Aunt Lisa get back together?" Sam asked.
"I wrote her a letter...as part of my therapy. I said a lot of things I should have said years ago, things that might've changed everything for us."
"So she took you back just like that?" Jake asked, suspiciously.
Cuddy replied. "No. Not just like that. We've had to work at this. We're talking now. We never really did that before." She looked down at him and gave a faint smile."Look guys, I know you guys think this is insane but we've loved each other a long time. We've got a lot of history and neither of us were willing to let that go. When you love someone you don't dump them when they have a problem, you support them. At the first sign of trouble, I ran. That was our coping mechanism, we were both guilty of that and we were wrong."
"I know it's asking a lot to forgive me but you need to know I love her. House said, honestly. Cuddy beamed hearing those words and everyone noticed.
"What happens if you relapse?" Jake asked, suspiciously. He wasn't ready to give in yet.
He sighed. "It's always a possibility."
"But if it happens, are you going to get angry with Aunt Lisa again?"
Cuddy butted in. "If it happens, we will deal with it together."
House intervened. "Look, kid, I don't plan to go over the edge again...I've worked real hard to get to this point, to learn how to work through my problems. But...if I relapse and feel like things are out of control, this time I'm going to ask for help."
"I love him and I can't...I don't want to live without him. Or you. I want us to all move on as a family. I know you can't forget," she said looking at her sister. "But can you forgive?"
Sam and Dave looked at their mother for guidance and she said sincerely, "I won't tell you what to do, you're old enough to be able to make this decision on your own." The two looked at their Aunt Lisa and nodded. She smiled. "Come here," she said and she hugged them both. They looked at House and Dave said, "Please don't hurt Aunt Lisa or mom again." House nodded, taken aback by the youngster's heartfelt plea.
Jake, however, remained stoic. His lips were tight and all he said was, "I'm going outside." He got up and left. Cuddy said to the two younger ones, "Come on kids, why don't we go help Gramma and Rach?" She looked back ant House and gave him a tight smile.
"Well it's just you and me, kid," he joked, hoping to lighten the somber mood.
She looked at him, dead serious. "For Lisa's sake, I'll be cordial. I need some time, okay?" She got up abruptly and left the room.
House rubbed his hands over his face. "Well that went fucking well," he muttered to himself.
Hours later, House and Wilson were on the couch watching a football game with David. Jake had gone for a walk and the Cuddy women were in the kitchen and Arlene was barking out orders.
"Lisa, I always baked the stuffing in the turkey, why can't you do that?"
"Mom, it's my turkey. Besides it's just not sanitary."
"I did it for years, nobody got sick. Besides what do you care? You don't even eat meat."
"No, I don't but everyone else does."
"I've decided I want to be a vegetarian too." Sam piped up.
"Really? Where did this come from?" Her mother asked.
"I'm morally opposed to meat," Sam said, causing Arlene to roll her eyes.
"Good grief, you're too young to know what morally opposed even means."
"I do and I choose not to eat it. I'm going to be healthy and fit like Aunt Lisa." She smiled at her aunt, Cuddy smiled back but knew Arlene wasn't about to let it go.
"Oh for God's sake, she's too skinny and you're only fourteen years old. You need protein, you need to eat. Your mother eats meat and there's nothing wrong with her. Both my daughters grew up eating meat and they turned out just fine. When you're an adult you can decide to eat leaves for the rest of your life but for now live it up. No guy is going to want you if you're a stick." Arlene snarked.
As the debate raged on between grandmother and granddaughter, the doorbell rang. Cuddy shouted above the noise, "I'll get it" and practically ran out of the kitchen. As she passed House on the couch, she leaned towards him and whined, "She's driving me crazy!"
House just laughed and said, "I told you so!"
Cuddy rolled her eyes and opened the door to Sharon and Hannah, standing there, shivering and smiling.
"Oh thank God," she said giving both a hug.
"Let me guess, your mom at it again?"
Cuddy was exasperated. "Gee, how did you know?" She laughed and welcomed them into her home.
"How could I miss all the fun? It's been awhile since I've been in the same room with you and your mother," Sharon said as she closed the door behind them.
"It's like fodder for your next book."
"Exactly," Sharon replied with a chuckle. "I don't have to make it up when I have her!"
Hannah interrupted by tugging on Cuddy's sweater. "Miss Lisa can Rachel and I play in her room?"
"Sure Hannah, go on...she's in the kitchen."
Hannah zoomed into the kitchen and Sharon made her way over to the couch and sat down next to Wilson, giving him a half hug. "James, how are you?"
"Good, it's great to see you." Wilson said as he gave Sharon a once-over which made her blush. This did not go unnoticed by Cuddy and House who eyed each other.
"Greg, it's good to see you too."
"I'm not giving you a hug."
"I'm not letting you," she snarked back.
"How's the head shrinking biz these days?"
Sharon rolled her eyes and Cuddy smacked House on the arm.
"So Lisa can I help with anything?"
"I've got a full kitchen but you can do me a favor and stay with these guys and keep them out of trouble." For a second she thought she caught a smile of gratitude on Wilson's face.
Around three o'clock in the afternoon, eleven people were seated around Cuddy's large dining room table. It held more food than they could've imagined and while the guys were ready to dig in, the women had to remind them to mind their manners. Cuddy handed House the carving knife and motioned for him to do the honors.
"Oh geez," he said.
"Gregory," Arlene said. "It's a tradition that the man of the house carve the turkey, given that you're once again schtupping my daughter, that would make you the man." She ended her sentence with air quotes. Her choice of words made the women and Wilson blush while House and kids laughed.
House chimed in. "It's not schtupping, it's f-"
"House!" Cuddy tilted her head, raised an eyebrow and gave him the evil eye.
"What?" He asked innocently. "Friendship isn't a bad word."
Julia and Sharon exchanged looks of relief while Cuddy put her head in her hands.
Hours later, they had polished off most of the turkey and side dishes and were working on apple and pumpkin pie. It had been a relatively noisy dinner with Arlene, Wilson and the kids doing most of the talking. Occasionally, House threw out a barb, Cuddy rolled her eyes, and Sharon shook her head. Julia participated in conversation, but tried to avoid any engagement with House. House of course was engaged in listening to what was going on around him. Oh he threw out the occasional barb but he was much more interested in what everyone else was saying. As the snow fell harder outside, Arlene amused them with stories about her two girls when they were children. The kids were enjoying the current story about the time when when their mother was in high school and climbing the stairs to class one day when the elastic on her panties snapped and they fell down in front of everyone. Of course, Julia put her head on the table, dying of embarrassment. House made mental notes for later use when suddenly his phone rang. He ignored it and let it go to voice mail. It continued to ring and Cuddy turned to him.
"You have to get that," Cuddy said.
"Actually, no I don't. I'm on what they refer to as vacation."
"Someone's poor mother could be sick and dying and you're on vacation?" Arlene chastised.
"Go ahead, it'll be okay," Cuddy assured him.
"Oh moooom," he whined. However he got up and answered it and mouthed to Cuddy that it was Chase. "I'll take this inside so as to be less annoying," he said sarcastically looking directly at Arlene. Moments after he left the room, Cuddy heard a loud crash followed by a scream. She jumped out of her chair and ran into the other room and found House, in the hallway on the floor in front of Rachel's bedroom writhing in pain, holding his right leg.
"Oh God, what happened?" She asked, kneeling at his side.
"Tripped." He cursed under his breath, gasping for air. Cuddy looked over and saw that the small table that stood in the alcove in the hallway lay on its side, two legs broken and the lamp that sat on top of it was shattered. She winced as she realized he must have hit it hard on the way down.
"Here, we've got to get you up." She was thankful Wilson and Jake had come to their aid. The two helped Cuddy get him up and into her bedroom.
"I've got to see how bad this is," she said, intending to remove his pants.
"No...alone," he groaned. He didn't want anyone else to see his scar. Wilson helped him lay down and Cuddy assured them she could handle it. Wilson closed the door partly behind him as they left.
Cuddy took off his shoes, unbuckled his belt and gently slid his pants down his legs and hung them over the chair in the corner. His scar was bruised and swollen. "Oh House," she touched the area around it gently.
"What can you take?"
"'Acet-"
"Acetaminophen? That's not enough. We need to get this down so the patch can take over. Do you have any oxy?"
"No!" He had tears in his eyes and she knew it was incredibly painful. She didn't know how he managed to control himself.
"You mean you don't want it or you don't have it."
"Don't want," he gasped.
She held his hand. "House. Please. You've had to take it before and you did great, remember? You only took it when you needed it."
He looked up at her through red-rimmed eyes. "Scared."
"I know, but Dr. Grogan prescribed you the lowest dose for a reason. I promise, I'll help you okay? You told me you'd let me help you when you were in pain. Please let me. Don't shut me out."
House heard her pleas and nodded.
"Okay is it in your bag?"
"Don't think...I brought-" He never finished his sentence. His teeth clenched and he lay on his left side with his hand resting on top of his right thigh. The pain radiated throughout his body.
"Oh shit. Okay I'll take care of it," she said.
"Mommy?" She heard from behind her. Suddenly, she turned and saw that Jake had brought Rachel into the room. His eyes were drawn to House's very visible scar.
"What is it Jake?" She asked, annoyed at the intrusion.
"Rachel's crying, she keeps saying it's her fault."
Cuddy sighed and noticed Jake staring at House's leg. "Jake honey, thanks, go back inside, I'll be there in a bit."
"Is he gonna be okay?"
"Yeah, it just...it just hurts. Go back inside."
"Okay Aunt Lisa," he said, suddenly sympathetic.
Cuddy turned to her crying child. "What's wrong honey?"
"I made Howse hurt."
"What? No, it was an accident."
"It...my...fault," she said between sobs. "My skates," she said. Cuddy sighed. She'd gotten Rachel a pair of skates for her birthday and instructed her they were to be kept in her closet when they weren't on her feet.
"I was just showin' them to Hannah." She cried again, snot dripping from her nose.
Cuddy brought her between her legs and wrapped an arm around her back while the other hand lay on House's stomach, rubbing it in an attempt to soothe him. "Oh you two, what am I going to do with you?"
"Rach," came the voice from the bed.
Rachel looked up at him. He motioned for her to get on the bed. Cuddy lifted her up on his left side. Rachel sat up on her knees next to him. She hiccupped from all the crying.
"I sorry Howse," she said softly.
"I know, kid." Suddenly, a spasm hit his leg and it was so violent it made his body jerk. It scared Rachel, who cried even more.
"House, I'm going to get something for this, I'll be back. Come on Rach."
"No mommy, I stay with Howse." She held on to his good leg and refused to leave his side.
Not wanting to waste another moment, she relented. "Okay baby, don't move, I'll be back." She ran from the room. When she got into the living room, the group was waiting there for her.
"Is he...okay?" Jake asked.
"He will be. I just need his medication. He said he doesn't have it with him. I know he hates to take it but he needs it now. Wilson?" She looked up at him. "If I call it in, can you run down to the pharmacy at Ridgemont, it's about a mile or two down the road. It's an old-fashioned brick building. They're open twenty-four hours."
"Sure. What am I picking up?"
She pursed her lips. "Oxy."
"Okay." He never batted an eye. For that she was grateful.
"James, I'll drive you." Sharon grabbed her keys and they headed out.
"Honey, is there anything I can do?" Her mother asked. It wasn't often her mother showed this side but she really did care about House and wanted to help.
"Actually mom, we'll be okay. Can you get everyone back to the table and carry on? House hates being the center of attention."
Arlene ushered the family into the dining room as her daughter gave her a smile of gratitude. Cuddy picked up her phone and dialed the pharmacy.
Meanwhile in her bedroom House was making the best of a bad situation and Rachel stayed by his side like a faithful companion.
"Can I see it?" He opened his eyes and looked at her. He knew she was referring to his scar. She'd seen his scar briefly before but not intentionally. It was about six months after he and Cuddy started dating and he was alone in her house. He'd slept in after working all night and he'd gone into he kitchen to get some coffee when they surprised him by arriving home from the store. He had immediately turned so Rachel wouldn't see his scar and was saved when Cuddy brought him his robe.
"You don't need to see anything that ugly," he said.
"Jenny Rivers has a big ole scar."
"She does?"
"Uh huh, from when she was a baby. They had to do a operation."
"Hmm." He wasn't sure what Cuddy would say. So he replied, "How 'bout later? When your mom's here. We'll look at it together, okay?"
"Okay." She sat next to him quiet for a few moments. "Um...does it hurt a lot now?" She asked, finally.
"Sort of."
"I really sorry Howse."
"Hey kiddo, it was an accident."
"What's a axadent?" She peered at him curiously.
"Well, it's..." He thought about how to answer the question in a way she would understand. "It's when an unfortunate incident happens unexpectedly and unintentionally and results in damage or injury." He grimaced in pain once again.
She tilted her head curiously and he knew she didn't understand.
"You're always good about putting your toys away, right?"
"Uh huh. Mommy says everything should be in its place so nobody trips."
"That's right. Did you mean to leave your skates in the hallway?"
"No. I showed them to Hannah and then mommy called us for dinner."
"Well see, you didn't do it on purpose. You didn't leave them out and say I hope House trips on them."
She put her hands up over her mouth. "Noooo. I never do that."
"Well then see, it was an accident. You didn't mean it. Make sense?" She nodded. "Now, I forgive you. You feel better?"
She nodded again and snuggled up to his left side. "I love you Howse. I will make you feel better."
She tugged at his heartstrings yet again and he had to admit, even with the pain as bad as it was, she really did make him feel better. He leaned over and whispered, "I love you too kid. And yeah you do make me feel better."
Meanwhile in the hallway outside Cuddy's bedroom stood a silent Julia. She'd been headed for the bathroom when she heard House and Rachel talking in the bedroom. She couldn't stop herself from eavesdropping. Without warning, Cuddy appeared behind her.
"Julia?"
She nearly jumped. "Oh hey, I was just heading to the bathroom."
"Uh, really?" She asked.
Julia knew she was busted. "Shit. I didn't mean to listen, I just...I heard them talking and I was curious."
"Anything interesting?" She asked, hands on her hips.
"Umm...do you think I could talk to him alone for a moment?"
Cuddy nodded her head no. "He's in a lot of pain Jules and if you're going to give him shit-"
"No, nothing like that. Please."
She bit her bottom lip. She never had a reason not to trust her sister. "Okay. I need to give him his pill first. Wait here."
Cuddy turned around and opened the door. "You okay in here?" She asked.
"Yeah."
Rachel peeked out from House's left side. "Mommy I helped Howse feel better."
"You did?" She asked as she filled a glass with water from the bathroom sink.
"Uh huh. I told him I wouldn't leave my stuff out anymore and he said it was just a axadent and he forgave me."
Cuddy entered the room again and smiled at them. "I've got your prescription," she said looking at House. "You want one or two?"
"One for now." She sat on the edge of the bed and handed him the pill and the glass. She helped him raise his head enough to drink. She could tell how much the pain had exhausted him.
"Hey, it's okay. It's just one pill." She watched him take the pill and chase it with the entire glass of water.
"It's never just one," he whispered handing her the glass.
"Let's take it one step at a time. One pill does not mean you'll relapse-" She caught herself as she said it. Her eyes watered when she realized the impact of her words.
"I'm always one pill away from relapse."
She looked up at the ceiling and bit her lip, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall. She hated that those worries still consumed him.
Rachel could see her mother was upset. "Mommy are you okay?"
"Yeah baby, just worried about House."
"Howse told me I made him feel better." She gave a toothy smile.
"I know." She smiled at her little girl and patted her leg. She ran her hand over House's chest gently. "Julia wants to talk to you."
"Oh God," he groaned. "Not now."
"I don't know what happened in here earlier but I found her at the door and she had this look on her face. I think...I think she overheard you and Rachel. She really wants to talk to you."
House wondered if she'd overheard his conversation with Rachel. "Fine. This'll kick in soon enough anyway. Just don't go far, okay?"
"I'll take Rachel for a few minutes but I'll come back to check on you." She picked Rachel up gently from the bed. "Come on monkey let's go have some more pie. Aunt Jules wants to talk to House."
"I wanna stay with Howse," she whined.
"Go...kiddo, I'll be in there in a bit," he assured her.
"Okay I save you some." She leaned down and pecked him on the cheek.
"You'll be okay?" Cuddy asked. When he nodded, she and Rachel left the room. As she walked past Julia, she put her hand on her arm.
"Whatever you do, just don't start on him right now." Cuddy warned. "He's in a lot of pain. I just gave him something to help but...just save reading him the riot act for another day okay?"
"Okay." Julia smiled to reassure Cuddy before she and Rachel walked down the hall and into the dining room. Julia entered the room, surrounded in darkness except for a small lamp by the bed. She noticed House adjusting the blanket over him.
"Hey, um...you okay?"
"Yeah. Peachy."
"Listen, I didn't mean to listen intrude."
"Really? I think they call hanging around on the other side of closed doors and listening to conversations eavesdropping."
"Okay, fine." She threw her hands up in the air. "I'll admit, it didn't start out that way but then I couldn't help myself."
"Okay fine, you can go now."
She sat on the chair across from the bed, keeping a reasonable distance. "You know, Michael used to tell me you needed therapy not prison."
Her words took him by surprise. "Why?"
"I don't know, don't get me wrong, he was angry as hell at you for what you did, but when things cooled down he remarked that you should've been in therapy, not in jail." She laughed. "We actually argued about that. Go figure, we actually argued about you. Anyway, not that it matters now, but Michael actually liked you. He liked your straight up no bullshit attitude and he saw through that bullshit facade you put up to keep people out."
House just glared at her.
"What?" She glared back at him and laughed. "Oh please! You couldn't fool everyone House. Michael often remarked about how protective you were of Lisa and Rachel and how that wasn't the behavior of a guy who would intentionally hurt them. For a guy who didn't know you that well, he sure as hell knew you, didn't he?" She mused.
House didn't reply so she continued. "I was the only one that hated you. Mom was so fucking annoyed at the both of you for screwing it up so bad and then...Lisa hated you for awhile but apparently she got over it."
He finally spoke up. "She didn't hate me, she hated that I destroyed what we'd had all those years."
"Since you came back into her life, I've seen a change in her I've never seen before, not even when you two were together the last time. She's happy, radiant, fucking glowing."
"I have that effect."
"Seriously, shut up. I'm not done."
He looked at her with surprise and worry. He wondered what was next.
"I've known women who have been abused by their husbands and boyfriends-"
Her words hit him hard. His eyes were defiant when he growled at her. "I would never-"
"Lay a hand on her? I know that. What I was trying to say is that in the little time we'd spent near one another I never got that vibe from you. I did know that you loved her very much and that you would do anything for her which is why when you ran your car into the house, I kept asking what the fuck over and over again? How could a guy head over heels in love with a woman for more than half his life do something like that?"
He didn't reply. He just looked down.
"I didn't buy any of the excuses, I stayed pissed off at you despite what Michael said. But hey I've been known to hold a grudge," she snorted. Her voice got softer. "I never understood the extent of your addiction until Lisa explained it to me. She said in all the years she'd known you...the only person you ever hurt was yourself."
"Physically yeah but I had a habit of treating people like shit."
"Yeah, she said that too. But she also told me you did it to keep people at a distance." She sensed House was becoming uncomfortable as their conversation turned a bit personal. "You didn't really want to hurt anyone that day, did you?"
"You have to ask me that?"
"I just need to hear you say it."
"No," he stated adamantly. "And she knows that," he stressed.
"Yes, she does. Trust me. By the way, I know you went to see Jerry."
"Yeah?"
"He called me. You shocked the hell out of him. Jerry's a good guy. He told me if he'd known everything that would've happened from that day forward he never would've met us at Lisa's house for lunch."
House snorted. "Hindsight."
"Yeah."
They sat in uncomfortable silence until Julia spoke again. "I remember the night Lisa broke up with you. She was inconsolable."
"Well fuck, that makes two of us," he groaned.
"She sat at that dining room table and cried for hours until there was nothing left. All of that over one pill. I don't understand why you-"
House didn't let her finish. He wanted-no he needed her to understand the reason he took that pill, that one pill. He grimaced in pain as he told her what was on his mind.
"I gave up two years of sobriety for her that night. I'm not the cry on the shoulder type guy and she knew it but that night, I knew she needed me there. She thought she was going to die. I had to be there for her. I took one pill Julia, just one, because I knew that being there for her during the worst moment of her life was worth giving up two years of sobriety. And then...when she broke up with me, over one fucking pill, it nearly killed me. I'd tried to do everything right but all I did was screw it up. People think I don't feel anything but they're wrong. I do. I did. It was like someone shoved a dagger in my chest and twisted it. Losing the one person I loved more than anything in the world broke me. You can't imagine—" he caught himself when he realized she knew all too well what it was like to lose someone.
At that point, Julia's eyes were most with tears. "I do know House, I do. My husband, the father of my children, the man I thought I would grow old with is dead. Gone. Forever. We had our share of problems, we fought and argued but he stuck with me through it all, he always put up with my shit. He never did anything to anyone and there were times I'd get so angry because he's gone and you...with all the shit you've done...you get to live out your life and be happy with my sister and I'm alone."
House swallowed hard. He didn't know how to handle her.
"I'm really sorry Julia."
Julia wiped her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. "I guess that sounds pretty shitty doesn't it? I'm jealous of my sister because she's happy in love and my husband is dead." She sighed. "How fucked up is that?"
"Actually it sounds normal to me," he said.
"I love seeing her happy like this but in the back of my mind I worry. After the breakup, she tried to act like she was okay but she wasn't. She broke down with me. It killed me to see her like that."
"When we split up, I never saw that side of her."
"Because you never let up long enough to see it. You just kept hammering her. She tried to be strong. Then when you married that whore...she called me that night crying again."
"I was an asshole." He put his hand up to his forehead. He could feel the beginning of a headache.
"Yeah, you were," she replied quietly, there was no longer any anger or remorse in her voice.
"If your point is to make me feel fucking worse, thanks, I think you accomplished that."
"Actually no..." She wiped her eyes. "It's not why I'm here."
"Then why are you?"
"I forgive you."
He did a double take. He thought maybe it was the drugs kicking in making him imagine things. "Wait, you just finished chewing me out and now you forgive me."
"Something like that. I needed to do that House. I needed to tell you just how angry and hurt I was not for what you did to me but what you did to my sister. Lisa and I have been talking about things ever since you came back into her life and I've been really on the fence as to what to do. There's so much going on in my life, raising my kids alone...going back to work...dealing with mom...and Lisa needs my support and I really want to be there for her. I wanted to continue to hate you but I can't. Life is just too short. I learned that the hard way. I lost the man I love but Lisa still has the man she loves and I want her to enjoy it without all this crap hanging over our heads."
Then she added, "I can see for myself that you've changed."
House was taken aback by her genuine sincerity and decided to return it. "I spent ten months in prison, I know it wasn't long enough but that was the sentence. I couldn't help but change because it changed me. I spent that time trying to figure out how I was going to live the rest of life. That whole get busy living or get busy dying thing is so cliche but the thing is...it's true. I had a choice to make and I didn't want to wind up back in prison or six feet under before my time so I started doing what I needed to do. None of this has been easy...but it's been worth it."
She nodded. "Do you think you can ever be happy?"
"Did you grill your sister like this?" She pursed her lips waiting for his answer.
He sighed. He'd underestimated Julia, she was a tough one, just like her sister.
"Happiness isn't a constant, it's fleeting, it comes and goes. Most of my life I held on to the stuff that sucked so I wasn't disappointed but now I try to hold on to the stuff that doesn't suck. I'm always going to be moody and need my space but oddly enough, I don't like having either as often as I once did. Cuddy once said we made each other better and back then I thought she was just being ridiculously optimistic but now...I actually believe it." House winced again at the stabbing pain in his leg.
Julia cringed seeing him in pain. She felt guilty that she might've made it worse. "Is there anything I can do?" She asked.
"No," he said. Then he added, "And stop feeling guilty, this isn't your fault."
Julia couldn't help but smirk. Looking down at his covered leg, she said, "I'm sorry about your leg."
"Don't be. It's not your fault."
After a moment she asked, "Do you blame Lisa?"
"What?" He asked, genuinely surprised at her question. "Why would I?"
"She made the decision."
"No, she didn't. My ex-girlfriend made the decision. Cuddy was just doing her job."
"Do you wish she hadn't done it?"
"Who?"
"Both."
"Stacy didn't want me to die. Cuddy was following the rules."
"That's not an answer."
"Fine. If they hadn't done it, I'd probably be dead. Sure, I would've missed thirteen years of the worst pain you could never even imagine but if I would've missed those years, I wouldn't be here."
Julia raised an eyebrow.
"I kinda like being here," he said. He noted a slight grin. It wasn't much but it was enough to show a break in the mood.
"I never thought I'd say this but you guys are actually good for each other."
He shrugged. "Cuddy knows me better than anyone, even my own mother. Without her I would not have been able to finally deal with the shit in my life. Nobody knows me or my pain like she does. Nobody. And I think she'd say the same about me."
"And Rach?"
"What about her?"
"Do you think she can be the father she needs?"
House thought carefully about his answer, well as carefully as he could while in pain. He did love Rachel but he never imagined he would ever be anything that remotely resembled a traditional father.
"Listen, I never saw myself as a father figure to anyone then again I didn't have the greatest role model. But she's a damn good kid and anyone fucks with her, they fuck with me. If you're looking for Ward Cleaver, I'm not your guy, but if you want someone who's going be there for her in every way that counts, protecting her and teaching her and trying to help her grow up with a sense of confidence and self-respect and keep her from screwing up her life, then I'm your man."
For the first time, Julia smiled at him. "You know a lot of people would think we're all crazy for letting you back into our lives."
"Since when do you give a shit what other people think?"
"True." She saw him yawn and thought maybe she should let him get some rest. "The medication kicking in?"
"Yeah. Still hurts but it took the edge off."
"I'm going back inside, do you need anything?"
"No, I'm good." He shifted a bit to get more comfortable.
Julia got up and walked towards the door. As she pulled it open, she stood there a moment, her back to him. He sensed her hesitation.
"What is it?"
She turned around. "A fresh start is a good idea. Just...promise me-"
"No." He cut her off bluntly. He knew what she wanted and he couldn't give it to her. Not that anyway.
"I can't make any promises." He saw her face fall for a moment but he continued in an effort to explain himself better. "Cuddy and I are going to argue and fight, it's part of who we are. Shit's gonna happen Julia but I can tell you that we've learned from our past mistakes. We're finally figuring out how to do this thing right. Just...trust us. Trust me."
Julia stood there watching him. Those were powerful words coming from him. He wanted her to trust them, trust him. It was a bold request. She knew House was a man who valued actions over words but she could see in his eyes and hear in the tone of his words that he was trying to convince her of his sincerity. That was enough for her. They had all suffered enough. It was time to forgive and move on.
"Okay House," she said softly. She added, "Get some rest." She smiled and then turned and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
House settled back into the soft pillows and clasped his hands on his stomach. "Wow," he sighed out loud. It had been a long day and he had been dreading that inevitable conversation with Julia. Now that it was over, it felt like a huge burden lifted. He closed his eyes, allowing the medication to continue doing its job. The last thing he remembered before drifting into sweet oblivion was Cuddy's scent which wafted from the pillows beneath him.
And there you are ladies and gents. Take a breath. I know it was long but it had to be done. Comments are encouraged and welcome! We fanfic writers thrive on comments!