A/N: Thank you for all the great comments. I've got quite a bit of the next chapter plotted out. Expect big things to happen. :) I finally have a better idea of how I want to wrap this up.
It's hard to believe it's come this far. I never expected this story to be this long but you guys are responsible as are my muses Hugh Laurie & Lisa Edelstein whose character portrayals were amazing beyond words, so much so that the fans still keep them alive by writing stories, posting pics, and talking about them! Huddy is the basis for so many amazing friendships-people who met through their love for the show, for these two actors and for their characters. Huddy really is a neverending love story and I am proud to be one of so many who is keeping the memories alive and well. There will never be another couple on television as dynamic as them. Of that, I am sure.
Do yourselves a favor and read the other great Huddy fics out there. There's over 3,800 of them. Comment on them, let the authors know how much you appreciate them!
As they laid there satiated and relaxed in each others arms, Cuddy could tell that House was thinking about something. It was his shallow breathing, the way his fingers caressed her body lazily, and the feeling she had, that sense that something was going on. She knew House, his wheels were turning.
She raised herself to look into his eyes. "What are you thinking about?" She whispered.
He shook his head indicating it was nothing but she knew better. She placed her hands on either side of his face and gently massaged his scruff with her fingers, silently imploring him to talk to her.
He blinked and said, "That...was so...amazing."
"Yeah, it was." She kissed his chest again.
"Makes you wonder why we don't do this every night," he said, casually.
"True," she replied. His words shook her to her core. What was he leading up to?
Meanwhile, Cuddy's response took House by surprise. Was she thinking the same? He picked his head up from the pillow and looked at her.
"Yeah?" He asked.
She moved her head and looked directly at him. "Yeah."
House woke around six on Friday morning. His leg hurt but not too bad. He wanted to walk it off a bit and get some fresh air so he dressed warm and left Cuddy snuggled under the covers with a pillow tucked in his place. He limped past the two closed bedroom doors and through the living room past Wilson's snoring and into the kitchen without waking anyone. He put on his coat, gloves and hat and went outside. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he walked into the spacious backyard and the snow crunched under his feet. He had a lot on his mind, specifically the few words they exchanged after they made love last night. He'd meant what he said and he was sure she did too. The question was what next? Obviously they both wanted the same thing.
He stood there a moment looking up at the sky. He took a deep breath and thought about how he had become less and less interested in diagnosing patients at Princeton-Plainsboro and wanted more and more to be in Boston with Cuddy and Rachel. In the past, his work always took precedence, it was always the most important thing in his life but things had changed. He had changed. In the old days, change scared him to death, that's why he avoided it. The thing was now...he liked his life, he was happy.
He twirled his cane around thinking about how far he and Cuddy had progressed in their relationship. In the past, when they were together, he had worried day and night about the final straw he knew would come, that final act which would force her to walk away from him. He'd once told her that she made him a worse doctor but he didn't tell her the whole truth. He couldn't concentrate on his cases because he spent all his time thinking about staying one step ahead of her so that he wouldn't screw up. That took away much of his ability to focus on his cases and thus he missed details he never would have missed in the past. It wasn't so much her that consumed him, it was the fear of what was to come.
Now, everything had changed. She consumed him but in a good way. He no longer worried about what he was going to do to screw up or whether or not their next time together would be their last. No, this was different. He felt secure in their relationship and most of all more secure in himself than he'd ever been. He knew she had much to do with that but he knew he had to credit his own hard work too. He'd had help along the way of course. Nolan, his mother, Wilson, Vince, Cuddy and Rachel, and even Chase...they all played an important part of his healing. They were his family now. He was no longer alone.
Alone.
He remembered a night years earlier, it was Christmas Eve to be exact, when he sat on the leather couch in his apartment and called his mom to wish her a Merry Christmas and washed down nearly an entire bottle of stolen oxycodone with a bottle of scotch. Wilson had turned on him, Cuddy had lost faith in him, his team couldn't trust his judgment and Tritter was close to putting him behind bars. That night he stopped caring, it just hurt too much. He wasn't intentionally suicidal, he just wanted the pain to stop even if just for a little while. He felt lost, hopeless and hurt that night...hurt that he had no one, that nobody loved him. He wanted to be loved, he did, he just didn't know how to let himself love and be loved. He hadn't even really let himself go with Stacy, not completely. He let her in but never all the way. He never let his guard down. He was afraid. And after the infarction even more so. And so it went for all those years until now...the first time in so many years that he felt complete. He knew it sounded cliche but it was true. For the first time he felt his life had meaning, that his value in life wasn't just as a doctor, but as a person. That made him happy.
Suddenly he wanted to talk to Nolan. He needed help processing things from someone who could be objective. He looked at his watch. Six-thirty. Far too early for Nolan to pick up but he dialed and left him a message anyway. As soon as he hung up, his phone rang. He knew it wasn't Nolan, it had to be the team.
"I was right, wasn't I?" He answered boldly.
"Was there any doubt?" Chase asked.
"Never. Did Foreman call you?"
"Yeah, he gave us all the info. How'd you know about the research study in Switzerland?"
"I didn't initially. Cuddy heard the guy speak here in Boston and said she thought his patient had similar symptoms. While we were skyping the other night, I did some research on him."
"Well this patient may owe Cuddy her life. Once we get her stable, the hospital there is going fly her and her parents over."
"Good."
"You and Cuddy make a good team."
"Was there ever a doubt?"
"God you're smug."
"You better believe it." Suddenly the back door opened. He looked around and found Sharon pulling her coat tightly around her.
"Hey, gotta go. Call me if you need me." Then he hung up.
"Hey," she said when she found him leaning against the tree just off the back porch. "You working this early?"
"Always. It was my team, they miss me."
"I'm sure." She wrapped her arms around herself as she approached him. "It's so goddamn cold, what on earth are you doing out here?"
"Thinking."
"You can't think inside?"
"Too busy, too many vibes, needed to clear my head."
"Wanna talk?"
"You wanna listen?"
"I've been known to be pretty good at that." She tilted her head and smiled.
"I'm not paying you."
"I'm not charging you," she shot back. He grinned. He liked that Sharon was a smartass.
She nudged him. "Not out here, too cold. Come on, I made some coffee."
He followed her back into the house, which was still quiet. They shook off the snow and hung their coats by the door. House sat at the breakfast nook while Sharon grabbed two mugs.
"You think it's a good idea to shrink the head of your best friend's other-half."
"I'm not on the clock. Just one friend talking to another."
"So now we're friends?"
She leaned back against the sink and grinned at him. "Are you always this annoying?" She asked knowingly.
"Have you met me?"
She threw her hands up in surrender. "Okay you win." She handed him a mug and took a seat across from him at the table. "How are you feeling today?"
"Surprisingly better. Still hurts but it's under control."
"Any residual effects from the Oxy?"
"No. I only took one. It was a slightly higher dose but I'm okay."
"One, even two pills does not mean you will relapse."
"I know but I'm trying to do everything I can to avoid it."
"One day at at time. That's all you can do."
He nodded.
"You do know if it ever happens it's not the end of the world. You have a great support system of people who care about you and will help you through it."
"I know. I don't want it to get to that point. I feel like if I relapse, I have to start all over again, everything I've done will have been for nothing. I don't want to go back there."
"You're doing great. I know Lisa is incredibly proud of you." Sharon had experience dealing patients like House and she knew all too well how difficult it was to overcome the hurdles. She also knew they were more likely to stay clean and sober with a strong support system.
He fingered the rim of the cup."Tell me something. What was Cuddy like before I came along again?"
Sharon leaned forward with both elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. She looked at House and thought about how to answer the unexpected question.
"Well, she was quiet and reserved. She went to work and did her job, got along with everyone but didn't go out of her way to get to know anyone too well though we seemed to connect almost immediately. I was really her only friend here and she seemed okay with that. A work, she puts in a lot more there than a lot of people I know, but she tells me it's not nearly what she put into her old job. She said it was about time she adjusted her priorities. At home, she got to know a few of the neighbors but her life revolved around Rachel and they spent a lot of time together, as they do now. Why do you ask?"
"She seems pretty happy these days."
She laughed out loud. "Hell yeah she's happy. The entire time I knew her before you came back into her life, I felt something was missing. Even when she was smiling and having a good time, I could tell something was off, it just wasn't right. Now, she is more together, more complete and happier than I've ever seen her. Now let me ask you something. What was she like back in Princeton?"
"She never told you."
"Sure, but I'd like to hear your point of view."
He smirked. "She ran a hospital, she worked all the time. She was nothing short of amazing." The pride on his face as he talked about Cuddy was evident.
"People respected her. She knew how to get things done. That place...it functioned like a well-oiled machine every single day because of her. She was really something when she was in administrator mode. Nobody could do that job half as good as she did, nobody. And nobody could go toe-to-toe like she could. She never backed down, she thrived on the challenge. She could make grown men cry." The thought made him smile.
"She put her job on the line to save my ass more times than I can count. She used to say I was her hospital's greatest asset because I saved so many lives, lives that nobody else could save but the truth is, she saved far more people than I ever could. She really gave a damn...about the people and that includes the patients and the people who worked there. I used to give her so much shit. I told she was a crappy administrator and an even crappier doctor," he said, sadly.
"But you never believed that for a moment, did you?"
"Nope. I did it so she wouldn't know what I really thought about her."
"Which was?"
"I admired the hell out of her."
Sharon smiled at him and nodded her head. She'd always seen something special about her friend, the way she cared so deeply for others. It was easy to admire and care about Lisa Cuddy.
"You talked a lot about her at work but what about when she wasn't at work? What was she like at home?"
House looked down at his mug as if trying to find the answer there. Without looking up he answered. "She knew how to relax but she was still always in administrator mode, always ready to tackle a crisis. It wasn't often that she relaxed. I guess maybe I had something to do with that," he smiled. "But hey I did my share of helping her relax, if you know what I mean." He winked and she smirked at him knowingly before he continued.
"Before Rachel she worked all the time. She went in early and stayed late most nights. She had a few dates here and there but they never lasted."
"I heard you interfered on several occasions."
"Actually probably more often than not. And the ones I didn't get to in time never called her back. Most men couldn't handle a woman that strong and powerful." He sat up straight, a smug look on his face, clearly proud of the fact he was the only man who could handle her.
"Anyway once she got Rachel, she was all about being a mom. I saw what trying to get pregnant did to her and then losing the first kid she was going to adopt. She'd given up and I'm telling you the Cuddy I knew all those years, all the way back to college, she never would've done that and yet suddenly she did. But then Rachel came along. It sucked that the kid's mother died and her family didn't want her but Cuddy swooped in and took this premature baby and nursed her to health and gave her a home. Having Rachel changed her. She stopped working all the time, didn't stay late anymore." He smiled. "I don't know how she did it between balancing work and having a kid but she did it and no kid could have it any better."
Sharon couldn't help but notice the glint in his eye when he talked about her friend as a mother.
"I agree," she replied. "She is a wonderful mother. And I want to tell you that in all the time I've known her, I have never seen her happier now that you are back in her life. You did that."
"We have this unique ability to bring out the best and worst in each other," he confessed.
"I think the best far outweighs the worst these days, don't you?"
"Yeah," he said, tentatively.
"What? You still worried about messing it up?"
"Again, have you met me?"
"Just enjoy it. Shit happens, you deal with it and move on," she said.
"It's that easy."
"Yep."
"You're good."
"I know." She laughed, then added, "You know House...it looks good on you."
"What does?"
House turned and saw Cuddy entering the kitchen. He grinned. "You."
She rolled her eyes.
"I was going to say happiness, you ass," Sharon replied. Looking at Cuddy she said, "How do you do this? All the time?"
"Years of practice," she mused as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and kissed him on top of his head.
"Is everyone else up yet?" She asked Cuddy, who sat down next to House and grabbed his mug of coffee, taking a sip from it.
"Yeah and my mother is already ordering everyone around."
"Of course," House groaned.
"I'll go see what Hannah's up to and leave you two alone for a moment," she said watching them give one another the eye.
Cuddy sat next to House at the nook. "I missed you this morning," she said.
"Didn't want to wake you. Figured you needed your beauty sleep."
"What got you up so early anyway?"
"My leg hurt."
"Oh," she said sympathetically. "Can I do anything?"
"Yeah. Me."
"Didn't I do that last night...or rather this morning?"
"Oh yeah but I think I need some more of you pain management."
"We can't have sex every time your leg hurts."
"But I looooove you soooo much," he whined.
Cuddy just laughed, then leaned over and kissed him. When they parted he told her about the phone call from Chase.
"They're flying them over?"
"Yeah. You did good."
"I didn't do anything. I just remembered a guy who spoke at a seminar here."
"Well, you may have saved her life because if you hadn't picked up on the symptoms and remembered that guy who came to speak, this girl might only have a year or two left. The trial program is getting a lot of positive feedback. So...again...you did fucking great. Now...shut up and kiss me."
Cuddy did as he requested and as they kissed, he slipped his hand inside her robe. Suddenly, a voice boomed behind them.
"Oh for crying out loud, don't you two ever let up for a moment?"
House leaned his head back against the wall and banged it a few times. "We really need to put a cowbell around her neck." Cuddy put her head in her hands to hide her laughter.
"What was that Gregory?" She asked over her shoulder as she poured herself some coffee.
"Nothing Arlene, nothing at all."
She took a seat at the counter and tapped her fingers on her mug. House and Cuddy just looked at each other waiting for it, which they knew was coming. Arlene was just too quiet for their liking. They didn't have to wait long.
"So when are you two schmegegges going your act together?"
"What are you going on about now old woman?" He asked.
She glared at him. "Do you love my daughter?"
"What?"
"You heard me, do you love her?"
"Mom!" Cuddy slapped her hands on the table.
"Hush Lisa, I'll get to you next." Turning back to House she said, "Do you love my daughter?"
"Well, duh."
Turning to Lisa she said, "Do you love the schmuck?"
"Of course I do and he's not a schmuck."
"Fine. So if you love her and she loves you, what in hell are you doing still living in two different states?"
"Mom, this is not the time to have this discussion."
"So when is the time Lisa? You two aren't getting any younger. It's time you just did it."
"Did what?" He asked, annoyed to the point he wanted to strangle her.
"Do I have to spell it out for you?"
At that moment Wilson walked into the kitchen.
"Oh good, James you can help me with something."
He rubbed his hands together. "Sure, what is it Arlene?"
"Convince these two idiots they need to get married."
Wilson, clearly shocked, took a step backward and held up his hands as if defending himself. "Oh no, no no, no way am I getting involved with that."
"Hmm," she groaned. "I should've known. But then again you are divorced three times and were stupid enough to propose again to the first one who dumped you."
Wilson just stood there, shocked as Cuddy took control of the situation. She stood up and faced her mother.
"Mom my relationship with House is between me and House, that's it. We don't need any help thank you."
"All I can say is that in my day when two people loved each other they made it official by getting married. They didn't just play house every other weekend."
"Hey," House chimed in. "Get it...play house...and my name is House," he said, adding fake laughter and slapping his hand on his knee. Arlene rolled her eyes in disgust while Cuddy just laid her head on the table.
House lay on top of the picnic table with his headphones listening to Dr. John when out of the corner of his eye, he noticed the give kids traipsing out of the house and into the backyard. He'd hoped to get some peace and quiet and avoid Arlene who was driving him batshit crazy. After her last stunt, he excused himself so he could go outside and as he told them, "hang myself from the highest limb." He hated leaving Cuddy to deal with her mother but if she didn't, he was tempted to drug her again. He pretended not to see the kids as he stared up at the sky but that didn't last long when Jake walked up to him.
"What are you listening to?" The teen asked.
"Someone you have never heard of,: he snarked.
Jake wasn't intimidated. "Yeah, try me," he said.
"McKinley Morganfield."
"No way dude, you like Muddy Waters too?"
House opened one eye and stared at him. Jake smiled. "My dad liked the blues."
"No kidding."
"I can't play but I just like to listen to it, it reminds me of him." He motioned to House's headphones. "Can I have a listen?"
House handed over one of the headphones and watched, intrigued when Jake started grooving.
"Manish boy, love that one." He listened a moment longer and handed the headphone back to House. "Can you play?"
"Can I play? Seriously dude?" House asked sarcastically. "Yeah, " he said. "I do a little piano, guitar, the occasional harmonica."
"Nice," Jake replied, shaking his head approvingly.
"So what are you guys up to?" He nodded towards the group but his view was obscured by Jake standing in his way.
"We're going to build a snowman."
"Aren't you too old for that?"
"You're kidding right? You're never too old to build a snowman. Wanna help?" He asked.
He pointed to his leg. "Kinda hard to do that."
"Oh, sorry." Jake stood there at the table, watching the younger kids gather the snow in balls.
"Dr. House, what happened to your leg?" He asked, remembering that he'd accidentally seen House's scar earlier, he was curious. "I mean if you want to tell me."
House had been uncomfortable that the kid had seen his scar but he could tell Jake was truly sincere with his intent. He seemed like a good kid, protective of his mother, which House liked, and he seemed smart. He decided to humor him.
"I had an infarction...that's a blood clot...in my thigh muscle. By the time it was diagnosed, it was too late, it caused significant muscle death. I had surgery which left me..." He motioned to his cane.
Jake looked as if a light bulb went off in his head. "A couple of years ago I overheard mom and Aunt Lisa talking about you. Mom told Aunt Lisa she shouldn't feel guilty about your leg. Did she have something to do with it?"
"No," he said adamantly. "I don't blame her. She saved my life."
"But you're in pain...all the time."
"Yeah. The alternative is I could be dead." He could tell that Jake was interested so he went on. "Your aunt wanted me to amputate. My girlfriend wanted me to amputate. Everyone wanted me to amputate, everyone that is, except me. I instructed them to remove the clot which they did, but the pain afterward was too much and they couldn't give me any more morphine so I told them to put me in a chemically induced coma to ride it out. They were still pushing amputation and then Cuddy told my girlfriend about an alternative which consisted of cutting out the dead muscle." He tapped his cane on the bench. "The downside of that is there was the chance of being in pain for the rest of my life."
"So, if you would've amputated would you have had any pain?"
"Maybe some phantom pain for a while but nothing like what I got."
"Wow. So why didn't you amputate? You wouldn't have been in all this pain."
House wasn't sure even he knew the answer to that all those years later. "I was stupid. I figured I'd be less of a man if I only had one and a half legs."
"That's stupid."
"Gee, thanks."
"So what causes the pain?"
"Damn kid, what's with the twenty questions?"
"Sorry, I really don't mean to pry. I just know you're this brilliant doctor who saves lives when nobody else can. I don't get how you do it while you're in so much pain."
House appreciated the kid's honesty. "Well, the pain is a combination of things...muscle atrophy surrounding the lesion, damaged nerves...and a little psychological too."
"Psychological? But that means it's in your head. It's not real?"
"It's been a long time since the infarction and it's possible some of the initial pain subsided but because I was on painkillers for so long, I didn't know that. I was afraid to get off the pills because it would hurt, and I was right. I don't know how much of the withdrawal pain was real or not. At one time there was so much Vicodin in my system, I actually hallucinated. I checked myself into a mental institution, detoxed and cleaned myself up, learned how to live without it. For two years I was on ibuprofen and that was it."
Jake looked stunned. "Ibuprofen? For that?"
"Yeah, tell me about it. All I did was give myself stomach aches with that shit."
"But you're still taking the strong stuff, right? I mean you took one last night."
"I haven't taken Vicodin in a long time but I use a pain patch," he said tapping his right thigh gently. "Which helps dull the usual pain by administering small doses into my system, I take something a little stronger if I have breakthrough pain, that's the bad pain which comes and goes without warning, or if I have a injury which is rare, I need something really strong to help with that initial pain till it subsides."
"Wow," he said. "I didn't know. I'm sorry I was rough on you."
"No. Don't be. You had every right."
"I was just really pissed off. You hurt Aunt Lisa and you could've hurt my parents. I remembered my mom and dad argued about you."
"About me?"
"Dad said it was partly Aunt Lisa's fault for breaking up with you over one pill and mom said it was your fault because you were..." He stopped, suddenly.
"Don't suddenly get shy on me."
"An addict. An asshole." He added, "Sorry."
"It's okay kid. Listen, it was true."
"And now?
"I'm always going to be an addict. It doesn't mean I'm popping pills all the time, it just means I can relapse any moment. As to being an asshole, I've been one since I was a kid...at least that's what my dad used to tell me."
"Your dad called you an asshole?"
"Hell, yeah."
"That wasn't nice."
"He wasn't very nice."
"Does he still call you that?"
"No, he's dead."
"Oh." He thought a moment longer. "My dad would never have called me that. You know, he didn't think you were an asshole, he just said you needed a shrink."
"Wouldn't be the first time I've heard that."
"Can I ask you something about prison?"
"Sure."
"What was it like?"
"Uh, I wouldn't recommend it. It sucked. I got beat up. I was miserable.. It's a really bad place. You don't ever want to go there." He was tired of answering questions so he figured he'd turn the tables. "Are we done playing twenty questions?"
"I guess."
"My turn. How are you guys getting along? I mean since your dad died."
"We're okay. Just takin' it day by day I guess." He kicked around some more snow. "It's just...weird. I mean he's always been there and now he's not. It doesn't seem real. We keep waiting for him to walk through the front door. Sometimes at night, we can hear mom crying when she thinks we're asleep."
House got a lump in his throat. He really did feel bad for those kids. "I'm sorry. No kid should have to go through that. It's hard but it'll get better, I promise."
"I know. Grandma says I'm the man of the house now."
"How do you feel about that?"
"Well," he said kicking some more snow around with his boot. "I can't screw up."
"Sure you can, you just have more responsibility so you can't do it as much."
"Mom really counts on me. I have my license so I run errands for her and pick up my brother and sister from school. I also help them with their homework. I cut the grass and do stuff around the house that dad used to do."
"That's good but don't forget you're still only sixteen."
"Yeah, I know. Mom tells me to go and have fun but sometimes I feel guilty."
"Why?"
"I'm the oldest, she counts on me."
"You're sixteen years old, you're still a kid. Stop feeling guilty for being a kid and just be one. Help your mom around the house but like she said, go have some fun.
"Okay," he said, hesitantly.
"Okay? Oh you make this too easy." House eased himself off the picnic table. Sitting there so long in the cold made his leg stiff and it was difficult to move.
Jake eyed him having difficulty getting up from the table. He was afraid to offer help because he didn't want House to think he pitied him, but he finally relented.
"Do you need some help?"
House stopped and eyed the kid. He was serious and the look on his face was far from pity. House gave in. "Yeah," he said, and he let Jake take his arm and help him from the table and they walked over towards where the other kids were building what House could only describe as the most half-assed snowman he'd ever seen.
"Do you think you and Aunt Lisa will get married?"
He closed his eyes and sighed loudly. "What is with your family and us getting married?"
"I think it'd be kinda cool to have you as an uncle. I mean...you're an okay guy."
"I'm assuming I'm the first one you've said that to?" He asked, facetiously.
"The only other one of Aunt Lisa's boyfriends I ever met was that guy Lucas."
House stopped in his tracks and looked over at Jake. "Oh and what did you think of him?"
"He was nice and all but he was a goof."
House couldn't help but grin. "A goof eh?"
"Yeah and he just didn't know when to shut up. It used to drive grandma crazy."
He smirked. "I bet it did."
"She used to call him a schmuck."
House laughed out loud. "Seriously?"
"Yeah. She couldn't stand him." As an afterthought, he added, "She likes you though."
"Ya think?"
"Yeah, I heard her telling mom that you're the only one who knows how to handle Aunt Lisa when she's being a controlling pain in the ass cause you're one too."
The more House talked to the kid the more he liked him.
"I also heard her say that you'd never marry Aunt Lisa because you were too much of a shithead to realize you'd be happier if you just settled down with her."
"Your grandmother is an idiot."
Jake laughed. "Man, you better not let her hear you say that."
"Did she ever tell you that I saved her life?"
"At least once a year she tells us the entire story, without leaving anything out, then nags us about how someday she'll be gone and we'll wish we'd been nicer to her."
"God she's that annoying with you too?"'
"All the time."
House smiled at the kid. "Hey you wanna really piss her off? How 'bout I show you guys how to build a real snowman."
Jake grinned from ear to ear. "You're on."
An hour later, House's leg hurt like hell and he was exhausted but his head was clear and the fresh air had done him good. He watched as Rachel ran into the house.
Cuddy was deep in conversation with Julia and Sharon when Rachel ran up to her and tugged on her sweater.
"Mommy, come see what we did."
Cuddy kept talking and finally when Rachel tugged at her sweater again, she turned to her. "What is it honey?"
"Come see!" She jumped up and down enthusiastically.
Before Cuddy could respond she heard Arlene shout, "Oh my God."
"Mom, what is it?" Cuddy asked. When she reached the dining room, Cuddy found the adults standing at the French doors which led to the back porch. Sharon had her hand over her mouth, trying to stifle a laugh, Julia pursed her lips and shook her head in disgust while Wilson laughed so hard that Arlene jabbed him in the ribs. Cuddy took in the scene in front of her and her mouth dropped open in shock and then she started laughing and couldn't stop. There in the backyard were four smiling kids throwing snowballs at each other and at the misanthropic diagnostician who sat on the frozen ground laughing with them. Next to them, staring back at the house with large black beady eyes was their creation-a snowman, complete with both male and female parts, in fact, the most anatomically correct snowman they'd ever seen.
Several hours later, around eight o'clock in the evening, the house was relatively quiet for the first time in days. Arlene, Julia and the kids had departed for home as Julia's in-laws were spending the remaining holiday with them, but not before Arlene had given House a thorough chewing-out for exposing the children to such inappropriate things as anatomically correct snowmen. Sharon had invited Wilson over to her house to have dinner with her and Hannah. Of course this was spurred on by House telling Sharon he had something important and private to discuss with Cuddy and didn't need his mother around to interfere.
Cuddy sat on the couch reading with Rachel when House limped into the living room with a few pieces of firewood.
"You want some help?" She asked, looking up at him.
"I may be crippled but I can handle a few pieces of firewood."
"Shut up, you know what I meant," she said.
"Mommy, you said shut up. That's a no-no."
"You're right."
"Now you have to apologize to Howse."
"Yeah, you have to apologize to House." He stood there tapping his cane on the floor. "I'm waiting."
"Okay fine, I'm sorry House."
"That's better. He turned and stoked the fire, then sat on the couch next to her and Rachel. "So, what are we reading here?"
"Mister Popper's Penguins."
"Well, duh. It's about penguins,"
"So," he said, reaching for her hand, which rested on the back of the sofa.
"Something you want to talk about?" She asked.
"Yeah, us."
"I was thinking that too. Listen, let met get Rachel settled in bed first, okay? Can you make us some tea?"
"I hate tea."
"Fine, can you make me some tea and have whatever you want."
Cuddy practically had to drag Rachel from the couch into her bedroom. It was the same story every time House was there.
"Mommy, Howse is leaving tomorrow. Can I stay up longer?"
"No, honey time for bed. But you can get up early with us tomorrow and have breakfast before House and Wilson have to go back home."
"Oh come on Cuddy, let her stay up."
Cuddy saw his puppy dog eyes and gave in. "Okay you can stay up this time."
"Yay!" Rachel stood up on the couch cushions and gave House a high-five. "Thanks mommy, you're the best."
Cuddy laughed on her way into the kitchen to make tea. She turned around and peered over her shoulder and saw Rachel throw her arms around House's neck. He no longer hesitated in his response, he wrapped his arms firmly around her and closed his eyes. Cuddy's heart skipped a beat and she felt like would start crying.
Minutes later, when she returned, she set their drinks on the table and sat on the couch opposite House, with Rachel between them. Rachel was immersed in her book as they talked. She didn't care about what the adults were saying, she was just happy to be up with them.
"So I was thinking..." he started. "About our situation, you know...us living apart."
"This doesn't have anything to do with what my mother said, does it?"
"No. I've been thinking about it for awhile. It hit me with this last case. I wasn't excited over the case, but I haven't been for some time. I was excited though about doing the DDX with you."
"We make a good team."
"That's what Chase said and it got me thinking about some things." House pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger. It's now or never, he thought.
"Like how I am not looking forward to going home."
She reached for his hand on the back of the couch. "I'm not either. Every time I get used to you being here, you have to leave. It hurts."
Suddenly Rachel looked up. "Mommy you hurt?"
"No, I'm okay honey, go back to your reading." Rachel looked down and continued her book.
"I don't want you to go," she said in a soft whisper.
He breathed a huge sigh of relief. "I'm glad you said that because I don't want to go either."
"We've been dancing around this, hinting at it but not coming out and saying it directly." She shook her head and bit her bottom lip. "Haven't we learned anything?"
He shrugged. "Some things are hard to change."
"So what do we do now?" She asked.
"We come up with a plan."
"I'd like you to...live here...with us," she said, pausing to gauge his reaction. "If you want to."
He swallowed hard and nodded. They were treading into new territory.
"But I need to know...I mean it's not just you and me, it's her too," she said, nodding her chin towards Rachel. "Everything we do affects her. I need to know what you want before we do this." She studied him hoping for a glimpse into his thoughts.
"I think you know how I feel about us...about her." He was taken aback that she would question it.
Cuddy brushed her thumb over his palm reassuringly and squeezed his hand. "I do House. I'm sorry. I'm still in unchartered waters here."
"Me too," he said with a slight smile. "Change still scares the hell out of me but not having to going through it alone makes the difference."