Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy – Episode III: Revenge of Ikari

by DarkBluePhoenix

The contact experiment fails, and leaves Gendo without the love of his life, Yui. What will this now unhinged man do? Well abandon his only son, adopt his wife's clone/daughter, plan his revenge against SEELE, and plan to end the world just to regain his lost love. That's the only rational decision a man can make, am I right?

9. Chapter 9 – University Blues

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Legacy
Episode III: Revenge of Ikari

---

Chapter 9 – University Blues
May 15, 2005 – Tokyo–2

Kaji was walking to Misato's dorm room to pick her up for their second date. He was carrying a bouquet of red Carnations for Misato in one hand, with his other clenched in a nervous fist. After their first date had gone so well, Kaji had worked up the nerve to ask her out again and was surprised that she had accepted. 'Damn, why did she say yes? Does she actually like me?' Kaji thought as he walked into the building.

Kaji pondered their evening at the ramen cart. 'I didn't really learn much about her the other night, she was kinda quiet, fun but quiet, like she didn't want to open up. Like she was afraid to. I can understand that, not wanting to talk about the past.' Kaji blushed. 'I felt something the other night, and I want to learn more about her, but I'm not sure how do get her to open up.' Kaji smiled slightly. 'I guess I'll have to just be myself and try my best to impress her.' Kaji sighed deeply. 'God, that sounds impossible.'

'Jeez, why am I so nervous? I keep overthinking everything.' Kaji thought to himself as approached the door to Misato's dorm room, his heart pounding against his ribcage. 'I mean, we had a nice time the other night, and everything went great. I just hope everything goes well tonight, I don't want to lose her.'

Kaji stood in front of the door to Misato's room and cautiously and knocked.

–––

Misato was getting ready, having just gotten out of the shower and wearing only her blue set of bra and panties. 'Wow, I didn't think I was going to be so nervous.' Misato thought as she brushed her long hair. 'It's only our second date, and I'm acting like some silly girl, I didn't think it was possible.' Misato sighed. 'I can't like him already, our first date we barely talked. I've only known him for a week! We made a few jokes and I had a good time, but I didn't think it would be as nice as it was.' Misato thought. 'I guess that feeling I had was genuine after all.'

Misato walked out of the bathroom and picked up her dress for the evening, which happened to match the color of the undergarments she was wearing. 'Well, he said where we're going is a surprise, I can't wait to find out where he's taking me.' Misato thought as she put the tight fitting dress on. 'Why am I acting like this? He didn't tell me much about himself, and he didn't ask me about my last name, does he not know about my father, or is he being polite?' Misato grimaced as she put on her shoes. 'I guess I'll just have to ask him. I hope it doesn't ruin the evening, but I have to know.'

As Misato finished getting ready, she heard a knock on her door. She answered it and there was Kaji, dressed in a sport coat carrying Carnations. "Hi Misato!" He said happily. "You look beautiful tonight."

Misato blushed. "Thank you Kaji…" Misato said shyly. 'Wow, he complimented me already.' Misato thought. "Oh, are those for me?" Misato asked pointing at the flowers.

"Yeah, I thought they looked nice, like you…" Kaji said. 'Damn, I need to not go into this so hard.' Kaji thought.

"You're trying too hard, Mr. Kaji." Misato replied coyly.

"But is it working?" Kaji asked nervously. 'Shit, shit, shit!' Kaji thought.

Misato tilted her head to the side and smiled widely. "Well, yeah, you're cute, so you can pull it off."

"Well, then do you have something to put them in?" Kaji asked. "I wouldn't want them to wilt."

"Can it wait till you bring me back?" Misato asked. "I'm just so excited, I want to know where we're going."

"Well, I'll tell you on the way." Kaji said holding out his hand. "If you're ready, we can go now."

"Sure." Misato replied. "Let's go."

As the two walked down the street together in silence, Misato was growing impatient. 'Why isn't he talking? Is he nervous, or does he just not want to talk to me?' Misato thought. Kaji however, was growing even more nervous. 'God, if I'm lucky I won't piss myself before we get there.' Kaji thought worriedly.

"Um, Kaji, where are we actually going?" Misato asked, finally deciding to break the silence.

"Well, I want it to be a surprise." Kaji said. "But seeing as you've been patient with me about telling you, we're going to that upscale karaoke restaurant downtown."

"Oh, Kaji, that's sounds like a great place to go!" Misato exclaimed happily. "How did you know I'd want to go there?"

"Well, you mentioned how much you like music, so I figured what better way to spend a date, than by signing." Kaji said happily, felling relief as his nervousness dissipated slightly.

"Well, I don't want to sing, I just want to see all the bad singing everyone else does." Misato said, with a grin on her face.

"That seems mean spirited, Misato." Kaji said.

"No its not, I'm not going to laugh, that would be mean." Misato said with a frown. "I just like seeing how badly they will butcher the songs."

"Alright, but I'm still going to go and sing you a song, Misato." Kaji said coyly.

"Well, I hope it's a good one." Misato said.

They finally arrived at the restaurant, and after waiting a while for food they watched as several drunk salarymen tired their best renditions of several English classics like Dancing Queen, I Want It That Way, and I Don't Wanna To Miss a Thing, and of course plenty of Japanese hits, and the most popular one, sung four different times in varying degrees of drunkenness (much to the chagrin of both Misato and Kaji) was Ue o Muite Aruko. After some limited small talk about likes and dislikes, which was made difficult by the bellowing salarymen, their food came, and the two dug into a "couple's special" which was a large platter of food placed between them, and they were given two sets of chopsticks and spoons to share the feast.

"Geez, Kaji, why order all this food?" Misato asked. "How will we eat it all?"

"Well, I'm really hungry, and I know you can eat." Kaji replied jokingly.

"So what, I can eat?!" Misato replied indignity. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"It's just something I like about you Misato, that's all." Kaji said shyly. "Not many girls are brave enough to eat what they want in public. I'm glad you're not like that."

"Oh…" Misato replied, blushing slightly. "That's sweet of you, Kaji." Misato looked down at the food. 'Wow, he said something nice…' She thought.

'I can't believe I said that.' Kaji thought quietly as he started eating the curry rice on the platter. 'I almost ruined the date! Stupid, stupid, stupid!'

Finally, after a bit of sake, and plenty of food, and a bit of relaxing on Kaji's part, the Karaoke Jockey announced it was Kaji's turn to sing on the stage. Kaji stood up slowly and went to the stage.

"Good luck Kaji!" Misato shouted to him as he grabbed the microphone.

"Are you ready, sir?" The KJ asked.

"Yeah, play the song please." Kaji replied. "This is for my wonderful date, who has decided to grace me with her presence tonight." Kaji smiled. "I hope you like the song I picked Misato." And when Kaji nodded, the music started to play.

The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing
Change a hawk to a little white dove
More than a feeling that's the power of love

Tougher than diamonds, rich like cream
Stronger and harder than a bad girl's dream
Make a bad one good make a wrong one right
Power of love that keeps you home at night

You don't need money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden and it's cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life
That's the power of love
That's the power of love

First time you feel it, it might make you sad
Next time you feel it, it might make you mad
But you'll be glad baby when you've found
That's the power makes the world go'round

And it don't take money, don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
It's strong and it's sudden it can be cruel sometimes
But it might just save your life

They say that all in love is fair
Yeah, but you don't care
But you know what to do
When it gets hold of you
And with a little help from above
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Can you feel it?
Hmmm

It don't take money and it don't take fame
Don't need no credit card to ride this train
Tougher than diamonds and stronger than steel
You won't feel nothin' till you feel
You feel the power, just the power of love
That's the power, that's the power of love
You feel the power of love
You feel the power of love
Feel the power of love

Kaji actually did fairly well, and got a fairly enthusiastic applause as he headed back to his table.

"Kaji!" Misato said. "That was so wonderful, thank you!" Misato hugged him as he sat down.

"I'm glad you liked the song Misato." Kaji said. "I was a little worried you wouldn't."

"Well, I do have a question about it." Misato said. "Are you in love with me?"

"Um…" Kaji said. 'What do I say to her?!' Kaji thought loudly. "Well… I like you a lot Misato, it's too early to call it love just yet, isn't it." Kaji said reassuringly.

Misato looked down dejectedly. "I guess…"

"Hey, listen Misato." Kaji said, wrapping his arm gently around her shoulders. "I just don't want to rush things, I really like you and I want to do this right."

"Really?" Misato asked. "You just don't want to mess this up?"

"Really." Kaji replied. "Now what do you say I take you home and we talk a bit more on the nice walk back."

"Sounds like a plan to me!" Misato said happily, her mood greatly improved.

After paying the bill and wrapping up the uneaten food, the couple left. On the walk back, Kaji reached out a hand to Misato, and gently held her hand in his. They chatted more about the stuff they liked to do. Misato however, not wanting to ruin the mood, wanted to ask Kaji something a bit more important.

"Hey, Kaji, can I ask you something important?" Misato asked.

"Sure, Misato." Kaji replied. "Ask away."

"You know my last name right, I'm sure you heard it before you met me" Misato said. "Why didn't you ask about it when you heard it? Do you not know, or just don't care?"

Kaji sighed. "To be honest, Misato, I didn't care about your last name." Kaji said quietly. "I figured if you were related to Dr. Kenji Katsuragi, then you had already suffered enough without me bringing it back up like an ass." Kaji smiled at her. "Besides, you're a lot more to me than just your potential relatives, I told you I liked you, not your last name."

Misato breathed a sigh of relief. "That's good to hear, I wanted to know, otherwise I'd be worried all the time if you knew… about my father…" An image of her father standing over her inn Antarctica was the world was ending flashed on her mind. "You're right, I'm tired of people asking, or staring silently thinking about if he was my father or uncle or something. I should just change my last name."

"And let everyone else win?" Kaji said strongly. "Don't let other people's reactions make you do something you don't want to do, Misato."

"I guess you're right." Misato said quietly.

"Hey, don't be glum." Kaji said, noting a small frown on her face. "Let's talk about something else, as this seems to be upsetting you."

As they neared her dorm, Kaji wrapped his arm around Misato again. "Listen, Misato, can I ask you something important now?" Kaji asked.

"Sure." Misato said, searching her purse for her room keys.

"Well, I know tonight went well, and that I like you a lot, and I want to know if you'll be my girlfriend, Misato…" Kaji said quickly.

"What was that?" Misato asked, not sure if what she heard him say was true.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Kaji asked again, sounding much more confident.

"Do you mean that, or are you just telling me that to get in my panties." Misato questioned.

"Of course I mean that Misato!" Kaji said. "I want to get to know you better, we can wait to have sex, I don't mind waiting."

"Really?" Misato said, sounding unconvinced as they got to her door. "Well, seeing as we're here, why don't you come in and stay the night? It's late and you shouldn't have to walk a half hour just to get yourself home. I don't have any classes tomorrow, so we can sleep in, as long as you're free."

"In the same bed?" Kaji asked, sounding nervous. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure, Kaji. I don't have a couch or spare futon or anything." Misato said. "And, I'll be able to find out if you're being truthful or not about your intentions."

"Alright, Misato, I'd love to stay here with you." Kaji said. "I don't have anywhere to go tomorrow."

"Good!" Misato exclaimed as she opened her apartment door. "Now while I change in my room, find something for those flowers we left here, and then we'll go to bed."

"Bed?" Kaji asked. "I thought we were going to talk more."

"I didn't say sleep, we can talk while we lay down." Misato said sternly. "Now come on in and make yourself comfortable."

---

June 21, 2005 – Tokyo–2 University

Kaji and Misato had been dating for about a month. Both of them were quite happy with the relationship, Kaji stayed over on campus a lot, leaving a lot of his clothes at Misato's place out of convenience.

They hung out pretty much every day, and had only been on a few dates since they started dating. Now on their fifth date at the movies, Misato and Kaji had found a movie they could both enjoy for its romance and musical content, Walk the Line.

"Wow, I can't believe he died only a few months after the she did." Misato said clutching Kaji's arm as they walked out of the theater.

"Well, I guess when you love someone that much, you just can't live without them." Kaji said leaning over and kissing Misato on the forehead. "Which is actually really sweet if you think about it."

"You really think so?" Masato asked.

"Well, yeah, I think that kind of love is important." Kaji said. "It's nice to see that kind of love exists, where the two people who love each other so much just can't live without each other because they found true happiness in that relationship."

"I didn't know you thought that way about love, Kaji…" Misato said eyeing him.

"Well, I guess I'm just that way…" Kaji replied.

"Kaji, you're such a romantic!" Misato said cutely, clutching his arm tightly and rubbing her head against his shoulder.

"You're awfully cuddly tonight, Misato." Kaji said. "It's kind of nice."

Misato blushed slightly as she smiled. "Well, I guess I just like what you said about love…" Misato replied.

Kaji smiled. "Well, I'm glad I can make you smile when I tell you my thoughts about something."

The two walked back to Misato's apartment in relative silence after their brief conversation, but that didn't mean they weren't thinking.

'I wonder why she was so curious about my thoughts of love.' Kaji thought. 'She seemed really excited about what I said. I guess it doesn't matter though, as long as I can make her smile, I'm happy.'

'I want to ask him tonight, I don't want to wait anymore.' Misato thought. 'I just hope he won't get skittish when I ask.'

When they arrived at Misato's dorm room, they went inside, and Misato started acting nervously. Kaji noticed and thought it was odd considering how happy she had been a short time ago.

"Misato, what's wrong?" Kaji asked, walking up behind her and hugging her. "Is something wrong?"

"Uh… no… I'm fine Kaji, I'm just tired now…" Misato said nervously "Let's just get ready for bed."

"Misato, we've been going out for a month, do you really think I wouldn't notice that something was wrong." Kaji said. "Just spill it, you know I love talking to you, I won't judge anything you have to say."

Misato looked down and spoke very softly. "Kaji… I… I want you." Misato said nervously.

Kaji looked at her in disbelief. "What did you say, Misato? I couldn't hear you." Kaji had heard what she said, but now he understood why she was nervous. 'I thought we said we would wait a while. What changed her mind?' Kaji thought.

"I said I want you." Misato said in a clear voice. "I don't want to wait anymore. I want to lose my virginity to you."

"Misato, what happened to waiting? I thought we agreed?" Kaji asked, sounding a bit confused. "What changed your mind?"

"What you said about love." Misato said. "I want you because I want to have that connection with you."

"Misato…" Kaji said, in disbelief.

"I'm tired of being the good girl, I want you Kaji." Misato said, taking off her shirt and revealing a green lace bra, and her scar. "I want you tonight. I even feel comfortable showing you how deformed I look…"

Kaji had trouble admitting to himself, but he wanted Misato too. 'I don't want to rush things, but she brought it up, I'm just not sure…' Kaji thought. "I want you too, Misato, and you look nothing other than beautiful." Kaji said shyly. "But are you sure you want this?"

"Of course I'm sure." Misato said. "I want this… I want you. I've thought about it for weeks, and I just want to prove how much I like you."

"Misato, love or like isn't about just having sex." Kaji said. "Don't confuse the two, sex doesn't prove how much you like someone. It's only an expression of how you feel about a person, it doesn't prove you love them."

"Regardless of that, Kaji." Misato said taking off her skirt, revealing a matching set of panties. "Don't you want me? Is it the scar? I know it makes me look horrible."

"Yes, Misato I want you, but not if you're unsure." Kaji said loudly. "I don't want to rush things and end up ruining the best thing that's ever happened to me! And who cares about the scar, I told you I don't care! It's a part of you, and I like everything about you!"

"Kaji… I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you…" Misato said, picking her clothes up. "I guess I was wrong about how to express myself with you."

"Misato, I didn't mean it like that." Kaji said, stepping in front of her. "I want you, I'm just scared of disappointing you."

"Kaji, I'm a virgin, you can't disappoint me." Misato said looking directly at him. "I can't compare you to anyone else."

"Do you really mean that?" Kaji asked. "I just want your first time to be special."

"It will be special because it's with you, dummy." Misato said kissing him.

Kaji looked at Misato and broke the kiss to speak. "Then I guess we have nothing to worry about."

Kaji kissed her back and lifted her up, Misato wrapped her legs around him as he carried her to her bedroom, and gently laid her down on the bed. Misato sat up and unhooked her bra and slid off her panties. She looked at Kaji to see he was also undressed.

"Kaji, I'm a little scared." Misato asked. "Will it hurt?"

"I'm not sure Misato, it's my first time too." Kaji replied as he leaned over her. "All I can promise is that I'll be gentle." Kaji pressed play on the CD player, as he gave Misato a passionate and tender kiss on the lips.

Oh… oh oh oh… it's my first time
Oh… oh oh oh… please be kind
Oh… oh oh oh… don't hurt me
Oh… oh oh oh…

I met her last Friday
At the local dance
She was across the room
I caught her glance

We started dancing
And before you know
I took her to my place
Where we were alone and she said…

Oh… oh oh oh… it's my first time
Oh… oh oh oh… please be kind
Oh… oh oh oh… don't hurt me
Oh… oh oh oh…

I didn't know what to say
Didn't want to hurt in anyway
I looked in those big brown eyes
Filled with tears she tried to hide she said…

Oh… oh oh oh… it's my first time
Oh… oh oh oh… please be kind
Oh… oh oh oh… don't hurt me
Oh… oh oh oh…

We felt so happy
We felt so fine
I don't think I'll ever forget the time she said…

Oh… oh oh oh… it's my first time
Oh… oh oh oh… please be kind
Oh… oh oh oh… don't hurt me
Oh… oh oh oh…

"Misato… are you alright?" Kaji asked worriedly.

"I'm not sure, it hurts a little, but I feel happy…" Misato replied, blushing slightly.

"I'm glad Misato." Kaji replied, tenderly kissing her on the cheek. "I'm glad you're ok."

"Kaji, you're not going to leave me right?" Misato asked in a worried voice. "I don't want to wake up in the morning to see you've gone…"

"Don't worry, Misato." Kaji replied reassuringly. "I'll be here tomorrow morning and every other day after that because I want to be with you." Kaji held her in his arms. "I'm never going to leave you, I promise you that."

"Thank you, Kaji." Misato said as she wrapped her arms around him. "You always know how to make me feel better."

And the two stayed embraced with each other for the rest of the night, and Misato felt safe in detailing all of what happened to her during Second Impact, as in she saw it first hand, and the truth as to what happened and that it had left her without a family and permanent scar as a reminder of what she went though. As she put it, it just felt right to tell him, as she could trust him with anything now.

Kaji listened to her story, and in response told her his story about his brother and friends escaping the orphanage after Second Impact, and their deaths, his thoughts of suicide, and how he ended up back in society and in college. Due to the amount of information in their pasts, they ended up not getting a lot of sleep as a result, but what little sleep they did have was quite peaceful, finally having their massive secrets off their chests they were finally feeling happy and safe for the time since Second Impact.

---

July 30, 2005 – Tokyo–2 University

Ritsuko and Misato were in the library worrying on a few assignments they had. Ritsuko looked over at her friend and saw something was bothering her.

"Misato, what's wrong? You've been glum all day." Ritsuko said bluntly.

"I'm fine, Ritz, I'm just tired." Misato replied quickly. "How's your project coming?" She asked changing the subject.

"It's going fine." Ritsuko replied. "But don't change the subject, clearly something is wrong. Just tell me, maybe I can help."

"Ritz, I don't want to talk about it." Misato replied shortly.

"God, it must have to do with that Kaji of yours." Ritsuko replied cattily. "Did he cheat on you or something?"

"What?!" Misato shouted, only to be shushed by the librarian. "No, he likes me, and he's not like that. He may act all macho and suave, but he's a kind sensitive guy, he would never do that."

"But is the problem related to him." Ritsuko asked, again, pressing the issue.

"Jesus, take a hint, Ritz." Misato said angrily. "I don't want to talk about it. You can't fix it anyway, it's my own fault."

"Fuck, Misato, just tell me!" Ritsuko said, earning herself a shushing from the librarian as well. "I'm your friend, let me help you by listening to your problem."

"Fine, if you'll shut up, I'll tell you." Misato said angrily. "I'm late."

"Late for what?" Ritsuko said. "Your next class isn't for an hour, unless you mean homework."

"No, not homework…" Misato shook her head. 'Jesus she's thick, or just that naive.' Misato thought. "Ok, let me put it this way, the Crimson Tide is not on schedule."

"What?" Ritsuko said. "Misato, what are you talking about?"

Misato face–palmed. "Ritz, I'm trying to be discreet here, and you're making it kinda hard." Misato sighed exasperatedly. "Ok, let see if one of these does it for you. The Hunt for Red October has been delayed… Shark Week has no bait… My Bloody Valentine cancelled on me… Aunt Flo isn't coming to town yet?" Misato looked over at her confused friend. "Jesus, did you not understand any of those?"

"No, I'm still not sure what you're talking about." Ritsuko replied angrily. "Can't you just speak in plain Japanese?"

"They're euphemisms, Ritsuko!" Misato said in an angry whisper. "My period is late!"

"Why didn't you start with that in the first place, Misato?!" Ritsuko shouted, shocked, and finally understanding Misato's worry. "Why not act like a fucking adult and just say "period" like a big girl?"

"Why can't you have some fucking cultural awareness and know a few euphemisms for a fucking period!" Misato shouted back.

The librarian came over and scolded the two girls. "This is a library not a debate hall, if you wish to shout at each other, go to a bar!" The librarian said sternly.

The two girls quickly gathered their things as the librarian shoved the girls roughly out of the library.

"Great Misato, thanks, now I look like an idiot for being kicked out of the library." Ritsuko said angrily.

"No, it's your fault Ritsuko, you started yelling first." Misato spat back. "God I need a drink, let's go back to my dorm, Kaji won't be over till later."

"Fine, let's go, I need somewhere to study that isn't my room." Ritsuko said.

"You live right next door, what's the difference?" Misato asked.

"Well, we still need to talk don't we?" Ritsuko said.

"I guess, if you still care enough to ask, we can." Misato said. "But we're not talking in public about this. I don't like rumors."

As the two arrived back at Misato's room, Misato went to her mini fridge and grabbed three Yebisu Premium's from it and popped one open effortlessly and downed it in one gulp.

"So, what exactly happened?" Ritsuko asked.

"Well, when me and Kaji had sex for the first time we didn't use a condom, or since then, and now with my period being late, I think I'm pregnant." Misato said. "It was stupid, but we didn't really care. We thought we would be ok, but I guess not."

"I can't believe you thought you'd get away from biology." Ritsuko said snarkily. "So, if you think you're pregnant, and you think having a drink is a good idea?" Ritsuko asked. "Shouldn't you tone it down a bit?"

"What the fuck to you care, miss two–packs–a–day." Misato said. "Let my drinking be my issue, and your smoking be your issue."

"Fine." Ritsuko said.

"So what advice do you have, Ritz?" Misato asked, trying to sound friendlier.

"Well, I'm not sure what to tell you, other than Kaji will probably run away." Ritsuko said gloomily. "Men always run away from children and the mother's they are not chained to." Ritsuko looked directly at Misato. "Men are just programmed to abandon their families."

"Kaji's not like that!" Misato shouted, knocking her beer cans over. "He would never leave me if I was actually pregnant."

"Do you even know for sure?" Ritsuko said. "My father left my mother alone and pregnant, and this baby will screw up your life! Do you even care how it will affect you?"

"Just because you're father is a dead beat and your mother thought you were a mistake doesn't mean I feel the same way!" Misato shouted back.

"Well, you'll be just like your alcoholic mother, what child wants that!" Ritsuko shouted back.

"Why the hell did I even tell you anyway, or ask your advice." Misato yelled. "Why ask a robot about feelings when it doesn't have any!"

"Fuck you." Ritsuko said as she left, slamming the door behind her.

'Fuck Ritsuko, she's such a bitch sometimes.' Misato thought sadly. 'I know she's my friend, but she really has no idea how to talk to people.' Misato had tears in her eyes again. 'But I don't wat to believe she's right, my father ran away, but Kaji's nothing like him, he loves me, and said he would never leave me,, but now I'm not so sure…'

–––

Ritsuko slammed her door and ran to her bed weeping.

'Why does Misato get to be happy, her mother and father at least loved her?' Ritsuko thought as she cried silently into her pillow. 'Why can't I be happy? Why am I always so miserable? Why can't I be loved by someone else?'

Ritsuko rolled over, clutching her pillow and glared at her ceiling. 'They don't deserve to be happy if I'm not happy.

–––

Misato heard a knock at the door a few hours later, she had dried her tears, and was still unsure as to what Kaji would do, and decided to ignore it.

"I know Kaji won't leave me, but I'm afraid to tell him in case he does." Misato said, drinking more beer. "But how do I tell him?"

Misato heard a knock again and went to answer it. "I bet its Ritsuko coming to ask for my forgiveness like always when we fight." Misato muttered. Instead she saw a Kaji standing at the door.

"Hey there Miso–kun." Kaji said with a big smile on his face and holding a bag in his hands. "Can I come in?"

"Sure…" Misato said. "Come on in…"

"Hey, Miso I know what's wrong." Kaji said. "I heard about the library."

"Oh, great, now everyone knows if you heard about it." Misato said glumly. "Now everyone knows I'm pregnant."

"Hey, you don't know for sure." Kaji said. "And either way, I'm not leaving you if you get pregnant or if you're not. I care about you too much for that." Kaji said hugging the depressed Misato. "And I told anyone who asked to fuck off as it wasn't any of their business anyway."

"You won't leave me?" Misato said. "You promise?"

"I promise." Kaji said pulling three boxes out of the bag. "Now I got these so we could find out together, cause you shouldn't be alone when you find out."

"Three pregnancy tests?" Misato asked. "Do we really need that many?"

"Yeah, I'll even help by holding them for you, cause apparently you need to pee on them for them to get an idea if you're pregnant or not, that's what it says on the box anyway." Kaji said. "Kinda gross, but who cares, this is for both of us… or all three of us."

A few minutes later they were waiting for the results and Kaji was in the shower.

"Jesus, Misato, I told you to be careful." Kaji said, cleaning himself off. "That and all the beer you had today didn't help much."

"I said I'm sorry, Kaji." Misato said leaning against the bathroom door. "I just couldn't hold it."

"I know, Misato." Kaji said sighing and turning off the water. "I just like complaining sometimes. Besides, you looked so worried I was mad, and I find that look cute." Kaji wrapped a towel around himself and kissed Misato on the cheek. "I like seeing you when you look so cute."

"Kaji, you jerk." Misato said. "I told you not to do that."

"I know, but I still love how you look." Kaji said. "Now let's check those tests, huh?"

The two nervously walked over to the counter and looked at the test's results windows.

"Well, this one says negative." Kaji said. "What about the one have?" Kaji asked nervously.

"So does this one." Misato said. "What does the third one say?" Misato said with a slight breath of relief.

"Well it says…" Kaji said picking it up. "Negative."

"So, that's it, I'm not pregnant?" Misato said.

"I guess not." Kaji said sounding both glad and disappointed.

"Kaji, are you ok?" Misato asked, noticing his tone.

"Well, yeah." Kaji said. "But I won't lie and say I wasn't at least partially excited at the fact you might be pregnant."

"Really Kaji?" Misato asked.

"Yeah, really." Kaji said. "It may not be the best time to have a kid, but I wouldn't have been annoyed by it."

"Jeez, Kaji, you're so cute sometimes." Misato said. "Now, there was another box in that bag you brought, what is it?"

"Well on the off chance you weren't pregnant, I brought some condoms so we could have sex without worrying about making any little Misatos or Ryojis." Kaji said jokingly. "If we were lucky enough to avoid what should have happened, we shouldn't keep tempting fate like that when we have sex."

"Kaji!" Misato exclaimed as she kissed him. "Why don't we crack that box open and try them out…"

Kaji smirked. "I thought you'd never ask…"

---

March 19, 2006 – Tokyo–2 University

Kaji and Misato were hanging out in Misato's room as always. Kaji was relaxing and laying across Misato's lap while she read a book. Kaji was thinking of something, and was curious how Misato would react, so he just decided to be blunt about it.

"Hey Misato, you know that huge box of condoms we have on your dresser?" Kaji said causally.

"The super industrial sized box you bought because it was on sale?" Misato said, turning a page in her book. "What about them, Kaji?"

"Well, those things are set to expire in a week, and I don't really want to waste them." Kaji said. "And I think I may have come up with a use for them so we don't waste them."

"God forbid we waste a few Yen on condoms we won't use." Misato said sarcastically. "So what's your grand plan, Casanova?"

"Well, I figured cause you said you wanted to experiment a bit…" Kaji said innocently. "We can spend all this week having sex, so much sex it may even kill us!"

"Kaji! What do you think this is, a whore house?" Misato said indignantly. "I have class!"

"Missing a week won't kill you, you're not stupid." Kaji replied. "And I thought you said last week that sitting through class was boring as hell and that you hated all your teachers for assuming things because of your last name." Kaji smiled widely. "Unless I'm mistaken, Miso–kun."

"I hate that you remember everything I tell you." Misato said. "Well, I guess it's an idea, we certainly can't ever have too much sex." Misato said grinning and putting her book down.

"Well, I like where this is going." Kaji said, kissing Misato gently.

"Hmm, if you want a week's worth of sex, you'll need to try harder than that." Misato said coyly.

"Well then, let's take this off." Kaji said as he sat up and took off his shirt. "Let me help you with that." Kaji said as he grinned and unbuttoned Misato's shirt. "That's much better."

"Kaji!" Misato said. "I can take off my own shirt, but you may need some help with your pants."

"You're right, I do need help with my pants." Kaji said jokingly. "Sometimes it's just so hard to take them off." Kaji said getting up and grabbing the box off the dresser. "Well then, turn on the music Misato and let's have some fun."

Misato turned on the CD player as she stripped down and walked over to Kaji, and embracing him.

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight

I keep looking for something I can't get
Broken hearts, they're all around me
And I don't see an easier way to get out of this
Her diary sits by the bedside table
The curtains are closed, the cat's in the cradle
Who would have thought that a boy like me could come to this?

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away
I should have walked away

Is there any just cause for feeling like this?
On the surface I'm a name on a list
I try to be discreet but then blow it again
I've lost and found it's my final mistake
She's loving by proxy, no give and all take
'Cause I've been thrilled to fantasy, one too many times

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away
I should have walked away

It was a long hot night, she made it easy
She made it feel right
But now it's over, the moment has gone
I followed my hands to my head, I know I was wrong

Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been something you said
I just died in your arms tonight
Oh I, I just died in your arms tonight
It must have been some kind of kiss
I should have walked away
I should have walked away

---

March 24, 2006 – Tokyo–2 University

Ritsuko was coming home late from the lab late. It had been the time in almost a week that she had been back to her room for a proper night's sleep. However, Ritsuko had a dorm room next to Misato's, where the marathon of sex week was in its sixth day. Ritsuko was unaware of this fact, and was simply worried about her friend's whereabouts.

As Ritsuko went inside her room, she got undressed quickly and got ready for bed. She had shut off the lights and was half asleep when she heard the most joyful exclamation come from the adjoining wall to Misato's bedroom. "Oh God!"

"Why on Earth is she praying so loudly at this time of night?" Ritsuko said groggily. Then she heard Misato shout something else.

"Just like that, Kaji!" Misato screamed in ecstasy. "Don't stop, I'm getting close again!"

"So am I, Misato!" Kaji shouted back.

"Oh…" Ritsuko said as she heard the two of them exclaim simultaneously. So instead of going back to bed, Ritsuko, her curiosity quite piqued, decided it would be better to eavesdrop on them. 'They won't know the difference, it's not like I'm… looking at them… or anything. I'm just curious…' Ritsuko thought as she listened in.

"Can we go again? I'm still so damn horny." Misato purred. "Think you handle another go?"

"Sure, that pill I took still hasn't worn off." Kaji said. "I think I can go again."

"Yep, still hard as a rock." Misato quipped. "Let's go again."

"Sure, but this time in the position I want." Kaji replied.

Ritsuko was so aroused by the passionate sounds of her two friends, and started to make inroads to her own desires, and as she eavesdropped on their moments of ecstasy her hand slipped downward and she overheard the song they were playing.

Wehell I see them every night in tight blue jeans
In the pages of a Blue Boy magazine
Hey I've been thinking of a new sensation
I'm picking up good vibration
Ooh she bop, she bop

Do I want to go out with a lion's roar
Huh, yea, I want to go south and get me some more
Hey, they say that a stitch in time saves nine
They say I better stop or I'll go blind
Ooh she bop, she bop

She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu bop
I hope he will understand
She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu she bop
Ohh ohh she do she bop

Hey, hey they say I better get a chaperon
Because I can't stop messin' with the danger zone
Hey, I won't worry, and I won't fret
Ain't no law against it yet, oh she bop, she bop

She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu bop
I hope he will understand
She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu she bop
Ohh ohh she do she bop

She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu bop
I hope he will understand
She bop he bop and we bop
I bop you bop and they bop
Be bop be bop a lu she bop
Ohh ohh she did it she bop
Ohh ohh she did it she bop

Ritsuko was now sweating profusely, and felt very cold and shaky. She felt disgusted with herself as she looked at her guilty hand. "Why did I do that? What made me want to do that?" She asked herself over the continued sounds of Misato and Kaji in the background. "Goddamnit all! I'm just like my fucking mother! Always giving into her urges and bringing all those men home who treated her like a piece of meat or a fucking pin cushion! And that man who treated me badly that one night after she fell asleep…"

Ritsuko's thoughts trailed off and she thought about the night that led her to a something to her grandmother, which is what led to her being taken away from her mother. "Why did that have to happen to me? What did I do to deserve that kind of treatment? Was it because I was there and vulnerable, unable to stop him?! I just couldn't fight back, I was too small, he was so strong, and I couldn't do anything to stop him! My mother was too drunk to even hear me scream!" Tears welled in Ritsuko's eyes for the first time since it happened. Her emotional barriers were breaking down again, and she couldn't cope with the flurry of emotions she had pent up for so long.

Tears silently streamed down Ritsuko's face. "I just want to wash this filth off of me. To get those memories out of my mind, I want to scald my skin so I can't feel this shit anymore." Ritsuko said as shuttered. "I hate thinking about that night, and I may be on better terms with my mother now, but I can never forgive her for letting that happen to me. It's her fault, and it's something that can never be forgiven." Ritsuko cried out, and then she finally broke down crying, which did not go unnoticed by the happy couple next door.

"Kaji, stop for a minute, I hear crying." Misato said.

"Ugh, I had a good rhythm going, Miso." Kaji asked. "Who lives next door?"

"Ritsuko…" Misato said in a worried tone. "Hey, Ritsuko! Are you ok?!" Misato called though the wall.

Ritsuko decided to lie. "I'm fine! It's nothing, I'm just having bad period cramps!" She called coldly back through the wall. 'She wouldn't understand, I can't tell her about it.'

"Gross." Kaji said.

"Not helping, Kaji!" Misato said admonishingly. "Are you sure Ritz?! Do you have Midol?!" She shouted through the wall.

"I said I'm fine!" Ritsuko shouted. "Just leave me alone!"

"Fine…" Misato said. "Come on Kaji, let's go to the shower, we can clean off and work off in there."

"I like the way you think Katsuragi!" Kaji said brightly. "But I'll need some PowerAde, and to switch out the condom, can't reuse it ya know."

"Yeah, yeah, no more pregnancy scares." Misato said. "Get me a PowerAde too, a blue one!"

"Well, there goes the plan of cleaning this filth off of me in the shower." Ritsuko said sadly as she continued to sob. "I can't keep listening to them having sex all night." Ritsuko said pulling the covers over her head, as she continued to cry silently. "I hate listening to their happiness. They don't deserve it, no one deserves to be happy. I'll have to fix that."

So the happy couple continued on their journey of sexual exploration and discovery, unaware that all the while Ritsuko, remembering the dark memories of her past, cried herself into an uneasy and nightmare filled sleep.

---

March 25, 2006 – Tokyo–2 University

I should have quit you long time ago
Ohh yeah, long time ago
I wouldn't be here, my children
Down on this killin' floor

I should have listened, baby, to my second mind
Ohh, I should have listened, baby, to my second mind
Every time I go away and leave you, darling
You send me the blues way down the line, ohh

Babe, yeah
Treat me right baby
Oh my, my, my
Alright, take it down a bit
People tellin' me baby can't be satisfied
They try to worry me baby
But they never hurt you in my eyes
Said, people worry baby, I can't keep you satisfied

Huh, let me tell you baby
You ain't nothin' but a two-bit, no-good jive
I went to sleep last night, I worked as hard as I can
I bring home my money, you take my money, give it to another man
I should have quit you, baby
Oh, such a long time ago
I wouldn't be here with all my troubles
Down on this killing floor

Squeeze me baby, 'till the juice runs down my leg
Squeeze me baby, 'till the juice runs down my leg
The way you squeeze my lemon, I
I'm gonna fall right out of bed, bed, bed, bed, yeah

Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey, you
Baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby, baby
Hey, babe, hey, babe, babe

I'm gonna leave my children down on this killin' floor

"Oh… my… god…" Misato gasped, breathing heavily as the song ended.

"I know, I can't feel my legs anymore." Kaji said lying beside her and panting just as heavily. "My back is killing me too."

"Well, that was the last one right?" Misato asked, reaching for the now empty condom box.

"Yeah, and not a moment too soon either." Kaji said. "One more time and I may have literally died." Kaji said holding his chest.

"Yeah, well, how do think I feel?" Misato said. "You might not be able to feel your legs, but you may have crippled me. I don't think I can walk anymore."

"Ok, I promise to never buy that many condoms at once ever again." Kaji said. "It may be safer for both of us."

"You think?" Misato said. "I don't think we could ever have this much again, an entire week is just too much."

"Yeah, let's never do that again." Kaji said.

"What, have sex?" Misato asked. "Or that much of it?"

"No, just that much in such a short span of time." Kaji said.

"Oh, I was going to say, if we aren't able to have sex, then it could be a problem." Misato said. "If this week has taught me anything, it's that I really enjoy being a naughty girl, especially with you."

---

July 10, 2006 – Okinawa, Japan

Misato and Ritsuko were on a visit to Okinawa for a few days to get away from thigs and spend some time together as they hadn't really done since Misato started dating Kaji. It didn't take a lot of convincing to get her to come along, which left a few questions open for Misato, but she wasn't going to press the issue until they arrived at their destination.

The two had gotten there a few hours ago, had checked into their hotel room, and were now at a bar facing the new beach, both sipping cocktails. Misato was only on her second Mediterranean Martini, while Ritsuko was on her fourth Long Island Ice Tea.

"Isn't the weather down here so beautiful?" Misato said looking around, taking a sip of her drink.

"It's not that much different from the weather elsewhere in Japan." Ritsuko said. "It's still hot and muggy, but now we can smell the ocean at least."

"Alright, Ritsuko, why did you agree to come along?" Misato asked her friend. "Seeing as the weather is so similar."

"Well you asked if I would come with you, and you said Kaji wasn't coming along." Ritsuko said. "It's as simple as that."

"What, don't you like Kaji?" Misato asked.

"Not really, I don't think he's good enough for you." Ritsuko replied sipping her cocktail. "I don't trust him, he always seems like he's looking at other women."

"Oh, Ritz, he doesn't do that." Misato said, sounding unsure. "He's too busy looking at me."

"Sure, so when those groups of barely dressed girls walk by and his eyes wander over their ample bodies." Ritsuko said, taking another sip of her cocktail. "That doesn't bother you?"

"Why should it?" Misato said. "He loves me."

"Has he actually said it?" Ritsuko asked. "Or is it just always "implied" that he loves you?"

"Um…" Misato said thinking back. 'Kaji actually hasn't said it at all, he hasn't even mentioned it, and we've been going out for over a year.' Misato thought. "No, he hasn't but I know he loves me." Misato said defiantly, not wanting to listen to her gloomy friend.

"Oh, well, that's to be expected." Ritsuko said. "Guys always get scared to say what they mean, or he doesn't really love you. It has been over a year hasn't it?"

"Well, yeah, uh, just over a year." Misato said. "But when did you become an expert on men, Ritsuko."

"I didn't, I just know how men are!" Ritsuko snapped. "They only want pleasure for themselves, and never worry about anyone else!"

"Jesus, what happened to you?" Misato asked snarkily. "A shitty boyfriend?"

"No, nothing as good as that…" Ritsuko muttered as her face fell.

"Ritsuko, what's wrong?" Misato said. "I know you generally don't show emotion, but you look really sad now, even if you might be a bit drunk."

"I don't want to talk about it." Ritsuko said sullenly.

"Oh, no." Misato said, pointing her finger at Ritsuko. "You didn't let me get away from your questions when I thought I might be pregnant, so you're not getting out of this one."

"It's a lot worse than you think, Misato." Ritsuko said. "I don't want to talk about it."

Misato leaned in and whispered. "It's bothering you an awful lot, why not just tell me?"

"Because it's embarrassing!" Ritsuko said loudly.

"Hey, I won't judge whatever it is you have to tell me, Ritz." Misato said reassuringly. "You're my friend and I just want to make you smile again."

Ritsuko looked at Misato's very sincere look of concern. Her eyes fell back to her drink, which she finished in one gulp.

"You know I lived with my grandmother at the time of Second Impact, right?" Ritsuko said quietly, her face read, and her eyes glistening with a few tears.

"Yeah, I always wondered why?" Misato leaned in and whispered. "Does this story have to do with that?"

"When I was twelve…" Ritsuko said as her face filled with tears. "One of the men my mother brought over to fuck raped me while she was asleep."

Misato's jaw went slack with shock. "Wha…"

"He just came in and I couldn't defend myself…" Ritsuko replied to Misato's shock and disbelief. "He just grabbed me and… and…" Before she could even try to repeat what happened broke into tears.

Misato got up and wrapped her arms around her friend. "Ritsuko, you don't have to tell me anymore." Misato said reassuringly as her friend quite uncharacteristically cried in her arms. "Come on, let's get you back to the room."

Misato put down some money and led a crying Ritsuko to the hotel across the street. Once they got back to the room, Misato sat her on the bed and kept hugging her. "Ritsuko you can stop crying, it's ok now, you're safe."

"No I'm not!" Ritsuko shouted. "I'll never be able to forget this!"

"I know that Ritsuko." Misato said. "There are some things that people can never forget."

"What do you have that you can't forget?" Ritsuko shouted. "You can't possibly understand!"

"Of course I can, Ritsuko!" Misato said. "Or did you forget I witnessed Second Impact firsthand!"

"Oh." Ritsuko said, still sniffling a bit. "I did forget…"

"I don't want to compare what each of us went through, they were both pretty traumatizing in their own ways, I can't understand what happened, but I can sympathize." Misato said.

"I… I'm sorry Misato, I shouldn't have forgotten what you went though." Ritsuko said, hiccupping slightly. "I just… I just don't like talking about this."

"I know, and after tonight, I won't bring it up again." Misato said. "I know it's hard, but you have to try and put it behind you. I couldn't fully move on until I did. I didn't speak for two years because of it. Just promise me you'll try to not let it keep from having a good outlook on people, ok?"

"Ok…" Ritsuko said quietly. "I'll do my best."

"Now after tonight, we're going to enjoy the rest of our trip." Misato said happily. "And I want you to enjoy yourself."

"As long as you make your awful jokes." Ritsuko joked. "I guess I'll be ok."

"That's the spirit." Misato said. "Now why don't you get some sleep, and I'll plan out our day tomorrow."

---

September 23, 2007 – Tokyo–2 University

Kaji was walking along campus heading back to his apartment after class. Misato had a big report to do, and she'd been working on it for weeks, so he decided to go back to his oft used apartment off campus once again. It hadn't been used much since he started dating Misato over two years ago, but he kept it so it didn't seem like they were truly living together, per Misato's request. It also gave them somewhere to go if they wanted to get away from campus.

'God, in the past two years, I've only been back there when the university closes for break, or when we stay out too late and its closer than campus, or if Misato wants to get away for a night or two.' Kaji thought.

–––

Ritsuko was on her way to meet with a professor about an extra assignment she was doing when she saw Kaji walking in the same direction she was going.

'I wonder where pretty boy is off to without Misato.' Ritsuko thought. 'I guess I may as well take advantage of this chance to talk with him alone.'

So Ritsuko decided to skip her meeting with the professor to have some fun with Kaji.

"Hey, Ryoji!" Ritsuko shouted. "Where are you going?"

Kaji turned around to see Ritsuko running towards him. 'Great, Misato's best friend.' Kaji thought. 'I know she doesn't like me very much, and I know Misato will never tell me for sure, but, I just don't get that friendly vibe from her.' Kaji thought. "Hey, Akagi!"

"So, Ryoji, how are you?" Ritsuko asked. "Where's Misato? You two are usually attached at the hip."

"Akagi, I told you to call me Kaji." Kaji said. "And Misato is working on some big paper, so I figured I'd stay off campus, let her work in peace."

"Oh, so that's what she told you." Ritsuko said, smirking.

"And what is that supposed to mean?" Kaji asked.

"Well, that's what she told you." Ritsuko said, feigning concern. "But I think she has a date with another guy on campus." Ritsuko cocked her head. "Or girl, it's so hard to keep up."

"I doubt it, Misato loves me." Kaji said defiantly.

"Has she ever said that to do directly?" Ritsuko said, seeing the doubt on Kaji's face.

"Well…" Kaji said. 'Jeez, in the two years we've been going out, she never said I love you to me.' Kaji thought. 'Well, come to think of it, I haven't said it to her either. I guess I should try to say something before it's too late.' Kaji looked Ritsuko right in the eye. "I know she loves me, so whatever you tell me won't make any difference."

"Come on, you know how smart she is." Ritsuko said. "Do you really think she needs almost a month of free time for a simple report?"

"She showed me the assignment, it looks a bit complicated." Kaji said defensively.

"Believe that if you will." Ritsuko said. "I just want you to be aware of what she's doing behind your back."

"Akagi, I appreciate your advice, but I know Misato, she's not the kind of person to cheat." Kaji said, his mind racing. 'God, what does she want from me, some sort of massive reaction?' Kaji thought.

Ritsuko could see the hint of worry on Kaji's face. 'Good, it's working.' Ritsuko thought. "Alright, Kaji, I'll see you around." Ritsuko said. "I have to go meet with a professor about some work."

"Alright, see ya around…" Kaji said.

Ritsuko walked away from Kaji with a massive sadistic grin, leaving him in a state of total confusion.

'What the hell was all that?' Was the only thought Kaji had on his mind. 'But is she right? Is Misato cheating on me? She would know, being her best friend and all, so why tell me?' Kaji got lost in his thoughts and eventually arrived at a conclusion he was not really looking forward to thinking. 'I know she was there during Second Impact, she told me… Her family is the reason I'm alone… Can I love her over my desire for revenge? Do I deserve to be happy after killing my brother and friends? Is this part of my penance?'

–––

Ritsuko was heading back to her room after meeting with her professor. But instead of heading straight back to her room, she decided to go darken Misato's doorstep.

'Well, I planted a seed of doubt in Kaji, now maybe I can do the same to Misato.' Ritsuko thought. 'I may get my wish of breaking them up after all.'

Ritsuko knocked on the door. Misato swung the door open in a rage. "Jesus fucking Christ, Kaji, I said I needed time…" Misato then realized who was at the door. "Oh… Ritsuko, I'm sorry, I thought Kaji was trying to bug me again."

"It's alright." Ritsuko said. "Do you mind if I come in?"

"Yeah, just for a minute though." Misato said, motioning her inside. "I have a lot of work to do."

"I just wanted to talk to about Kaji." Ritsuko said.

"Oh, not this again." Misato said. "I thought we went over this, I love Kaji, but I haven't told him and he hasn't told me."

"I know that, but he looked funny today when saw him." Ritsuko said.

"What do you mean?" Misato asked. "How did he look weird?"

"He acted kinda flaky about you working on your project." Ritsuko said. "I think he thinks you're cheating on him."

"I doubt that." Misato said angrily. "Can't you ever talk to me with good news, like you have a boyfriend or discovered a unicorn or something?"

"Hey, I'm just looking out for you, Misato." Ritsuko said, once again feigning concern. "I'm your friend, and I don't want to see you get hurt by some guy!"

"Hey, Ritsuko, I appreciate it." Misato replied. "But I know in my heart he loves me."

"But he still hasn't said it. He told me as much." Ritsuko said. "I don't think he does either."

"I don't believe you." Misato said. 'More like I don't want to believe her…' Misato thought.

"Well, he may ask if you've cheated on him, and if you try to deny it, he may break up with you." Ritsuko said.

"But I haven't cheated on him!" Misato shot back.

"What about all those guys you flirted with in Okinawa, don't tell me you didn't think about it." Ritsuko mused.

"I may have thought it, but I'd never act on it, it would kill him if I cheated!" Misato said.

"Look, Misato if he asks, and then you have to ask if he loves you, it's the only way, and if he hesitates, ask him if he'd leave you if it were true." Ritsuko said, pressuring Misato with her words.

"Ritsuko, why would I lie to him like that?!" Misato asked. "That's so counter intuitive!"

"Because, if you do, he may actually admit he loves you, or prove he's just a stupid man and leave you!" Ritsuko said.

"Jesus, Ritz, can you go now!" Misato said. "I think I've heard enough of this for tonight!"

"Fine, I'll go, just remember what I said." Ritsuko said, getting up and leaving in huff. "I'll see you later, Misato."

"Fine." Misato said shortly. "I'll see you later." Misato shut the door hard behind her retreating friend.

Ritsuko once again looked pleased with herself. 'Good, between their insecurities and ingrained distrust of other's their relationship should fall apart soon enough. It serves them right for being happy when others around them are miserable.' She thought as she went into her room next door to Misato.

"Jesus, does Ritsuko ever give up on being a pain in the ass?" Misato said as her mind went to the repressed dark thoughts she'd been holding back for years, it all came back to the surface. "I mean, when it comes to men, I get why she doesn't trust them, but I really shouldn't trust them either, should I? My father left me and my mother, but I pushed him away didn't I? He didn't deserve to have a family though, after what he said about me. And besides Kaji, no one else has ever looked at me other than as the daughter of Kenji Katsuragi, especially since Second Impact. Even Kaji sometimes has that look on his face, he knows everything I saw, everything about Adam and how Second Impact started. But Kaji, is sometimes like my father, he may focus on me, but his mind sometimes wanders to another place when we're together, and I wonder what he's thinking about." Misato paused and looked over at a picture of her and Kaji. "Does he really love me? I love him, but I want to know for sure, did I really fall in love with a man like my father?"

---

December 22, 2007 – Tokyo–2 University

Misato and Kaji were meeting up in her dorm room for the first time in weeks. Misato had been inundated with projects towards the end of the tem she had put off to the last moment, but she was able to complete them in time and get marks them, so she didn't see the harm. The only harm done was the fat her relationship with Kaji had become strained in the several week separation they had undergone.

Kaji was once again walking to her door, but not with happy greetings as he once did. He finally wanted some answers from the girl he loved. 'I know what Ritsuko said is bullshit, but I just can't handle it anymore. If I don't ask her, these fucking thoughts of her even thinking about cheating on m will drive me crazy.' Kaji thought as he knocked on her door. 'I'm going to find out tonight, whether it's good or bad news, I need to know.'

–––

Misato was getting dressed for Kaji's arrival, she picked out some sweatpants and a tight tank top as her look of the evening.

'I wonder why he sounded so gloomy on the phone when I talked to him.' Misato thought. 'He seemed out of it, I wonder what's wrong…'

She heard a knock on the door and answered it. It was Kaji, but instead of his usual greeting of a bright smile, he wore a grimace that worried Misato.

"Is everything ok, Kaji?" Misato asked.

"No, I need to ask you something, and I want you to be honest." Kaji said.

"What?" Misato asked, unsure as to what he was going to say.

"I'll get straight to the point." Kaji asked. "Are you cheating on me?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Misato asked indignantly.

"Exactly as I asked, Misato." Kaji asked. "I want to know Misato, it shouldn't have taken you so long to do all those projects, what else were you doing?"

"I wasn't doing anything, Kaji!" Misato shouted. "I was working on my coursework!"

"I don't care!" Kaji shouted. "I want to know the truth!" Kaji was breathing heavily. 'Was Ritsuko right, is Misato cheating on me? She's being awfully defensive about such a simple question. I don't want to force the issue, but I don't really have a choice. I need to know, I need to know if I ever deserved to be happy…' Kaji thought.

"You want the truth!" Misato shouted. 'I'm not sure what to tell him.' Misato thought. 'I didn't cheat on him, but I guess Ritsuko was right, he does think I'm cheating on him, does that mean he doesn't love, or is he projecting his infidelity… I'm not sure. I wonder if I should actually follow Ritsuko's advice. I mean, what does Ritsuko even know about men? She's kind of completely fucking illiterate in the subject… but… she is my friend, I should listen to her…' Misato stood there, and paused, unsure of what to say. She looked into Kaji's eyes, and only saw pain and sorrow, a hint of hatred was present as well. 'Will he admit he loves me if I do this? I guess there is only one way to find out…' Misato thought as she took a deep breath. "Kaji, I love you, you have to know that, but what would you say if I did cheat on you…" Misato said quietly.

"I would wonder why, especially considering you just said you love me!" Kaji shouted back. "Why would you do that?!"

"I didn't say I did!" Misato shouted.

"Then why even ask what I would say?" Kaji replied. "WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?!"

"THAT I LOVE YOU!" Misato shouted. "DON'T YOU LOVE ME?!"

"I DON'T THINK I COULD LOVE SOMEONE WHO CHEATED ON ME!" Kaji roared.

"I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVEN LOVED YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Misato roared. "YOU'RE JUST LIKE MY FUCKING FATHER, AND THAT'S WHY I CHEATED ON YOU!" Misato shouted without thinking. 'Oh no, why did I say that…' Misato thought after she said it.

"I don't know why you would love me either." Kaji said sarcastically. "I guess I'm just that much of an awful person, I don't deserve your love."

"Don't act all sanctimonious, Kaji." Misato said angrily. "Didn't you just stay around because I was your connection to Second Impact?!" Misato got up in Kaji's face. "Didn't you just keep me around because you wanted to avenge your brother?!"

Kaji raised his hand but hesitated and stepped back from Misato. "DON'T YOU DARE MENTION HIM! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO SEE HIM LYING THERE DEAD!" Kaji bellowed. "I never even thought about you like that, you're just the girl I… I cared about!"

"DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SEE EVERYTHING DISAPPEAR AROUND ME?! I SAW THE END OF THE FUCKING WORLD IN PERSON!" Misato roared. "You can't even bring yourself to say it either!" Misato shouted. "Be a man and admit you loved me! JUST FUCKING SAY IT!"

"I can't do this Misato." Kaji said walking around her and going to the door. "I can't believe you cheated on me, Misato. You're not the woman I thought you were."

"Kaji! Don't walk away from me!" Misato shouted as he disappeared through the door, slamming it behind him. "KAJI, DON'T GO!"

Misato fell down to her knees and started crying. "Why did I say that?! Why did I push him away?! I did the exact same thing I did to my father, and then he left me because of it! And he'll never come back!"

–––

Kaji stormed away from Misato's door as he overheard Misato though the door as he walked away. "Kaji! Don't walk away from me! KAJI, DON'T GO!"

'Why did she say she cheated on me?' Kaji thought. 'Nothing she said made any sense. She said she loved me, but she said she cheated on me. And what was all that about her father? It's like she was just as conflicted like I was.' Kaji sighed. 'I should have tried to say I loved her, I just couldn't after she mentioned my brother.' Kaji raised his hand and looked at it as he walked down the street as he left campus. 'I can't believe I was about to hit the girl I loved.' Kaji felt a tear run down his cheek. 'I guess I don't deserve to be loved after all if I was going to hit her. My penance for the death of my brother is to be alone and avenge my brother and everyone else that died during Second Impact. I forgot that mission of mine while I was with her. I won't be able to be truly happy until I complete this task.

Kaji kept walking into the night, thinking all the while. 'I know one thing for sure though. I may not be able to be with her because I don't deserve her, but I'll always love her…'

–––

Ritsuko overheard the entire exchange and was nothing but pleased with herself. She could now hear Misato crying on her bed after Kaji slammed the door and left.

"My plan finally worked itself out." Ritsuko muttered t herself. "Now they don't get to be happy, like they deserved it anyway." Ritsuko's sadistic grin returned to her face. "With everything they saw and did during and after Second Impact, it's a wonder they can even sleep at night." Ritsuko laughed quietly. "I guess when you're talking about the creature that really caused Second Impact, or that you sold out your little brother and friends so you wouldn't die, you should be quieter so your neighbor doesn't hear you talking about it."

So as Misato cried herself to sleep, and Kaji wandered aimlessly around Tokyo–2 looking for his purpose in life, Ritsuko fell into a restful sleep.

---

March 12, 2008 – Tokyo–2 University

It had only been a few months since the Misato and Kaji broke up. A few days after they broke up, a letter and a box arrived at her door requesting the stuff he'd left in her dorm room, with return postage paid so he wouldn't be inconveniencing her in any more than he already had. Misato cried for two days after sending the box back, realizing she still loved him, but unable to bring herself to say anything to that effect to him, or even think to look at him at all.

Since the breakup, Misato's nightmares had returned, and with that her uneasy sleep had returned as well. Ritsuko comforted her friend as best she could, considering she ever liked Kaji or their relationship. However, secretly, Ritsuko was glad that Misato was no longer as happy as she was, it somehow made her feel better about herself.

However a problem arose out of their breakup. Any time Misato saw Kaji around campus, she would disappear and go hide in her room because she couldn't bear to see the man that left her after one argument. She hated herself for what she said, and hated him more for not believing she didn't cheat on him.

However, today, that problem would be gone, as the class above her were graduating, and both Kaji and Ritsuko would be graduating, removing not only her problem, but her only friend on campus as well.

So, Misato was looking for Ritsuko. The graduation ceremony had just ended and she was hoping to catch her before she left campus. She saw her brunette hair bobbing in the crowd, with what actually looked like a smile.

"Ritsuko!" Misato shouted. "Ritsuko, wait up!"

Ritsuko turned around to see her friend running up to her and giving her a big hug. "Misato, take it easy!" Ritsuko exclaimed.

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to hug you one last time before you leave." Misato said.

"What, do you think we'll stop being friends after I go?" Ritsuko asked.

Misato simply nodded.

"Jeez, Misato, will you relax?" Ritsuko said, pushing her friend from her with great difficulty. "I'm only going to Tokyo–3, not half way across the world."

"Tokyo–3, where's that?" Misato asked.

"It's where the Hakone used to be." Ritsuko said. "It's the site of the organization my mother works at, Gehirn."

Misato grimaced slightly, recognizing the name of the organization that had funded her father's research. "But why the hell would you be going there?" Misato asked. "Don't you hate your mother?"

"I told you before, I don't hate her, I just don't get along with her…" Ritsuko replied. "But, I won't see her all the time anyway. I was offered a job there a junior biomechanical engineer for something they called Project E. Plus, they'll let me work on my dissertation at work, so I'll be able to get my doctorates in the next year or so."

Misato smiled. "Congratulations, Ritsuko! I'm very happy for you."

"Thanks, Misato." Ritsuko replied, actually hugging her back. "But, I do have a suggestion for you, Misato." Ritsuko said. "After you graduate next year, you should get a job at Gehirn, I think you'd like it."

"I'd have to think about it, Ritsuko. I'm not quite sure of what I want to do yet, I still have some time to decide." Misato replied.

"Listen, I won't push you into anything, but I think with your history, it would be the one place you'd feel comfortable working, no one there would judge you on… on your past." Ritsuko said quietly.

"I know that, but I have plenty of time to decide on what I want to do, Ritsuko, so why don't we go celebrate you graduating by getting wasted!" Misato said happily.

"Is that your answer to everything, get really drunk?" Ritsuko asked.

"Yep! Best way to deal with life when you have no other responsibilities." Misato said cheerily. "Now, let's go get you changed so we can out!"

"Alright, fine, but I have to be able to walk in the morning when I move out…" Ritsuko said.

"Don't be such a stick in the mud, Ritz." Misato said. "You'll be fine…"

As Misato led Ritsuko away from the crowd to the dorms, she saw someone she had been hoping to avoid, Kaji. She saw him for sure, but Misato was unsure if he saw her, as I seemed he was looking right through her. This disturbed Misato a bit, and when Misato and Ritsuko reached the bar, Misato would have to drink a lot just to forget the feeling she was having seeing him look so empty.

'I caused that, he used to be so happy around me, and I caused him to be this way…' Misato thought as her and Ritsuko reached her room.

And that would be the last time they would see each other for nine years.

---

September 13, 2008 – Tokyo–3

Kaji had just gotten off the train in what used to be Hakone. He was on a mission, to go to Gehirn headquarters and join so he could be in a better position to find out who was responsible for Second Impact.

'I remember coming here as a child with my family.' Kaji thought. 'We went to Lake Ashinoko and to the Shinto Shrine set near the lake.' Kaji looked over at the lake, and saw several massive mirrors that were set against the edge of the lake. 'Things certainly have changed here with the discovery of the Geofront.'

Kaji looked around the city, many of its buildings were still not installed, and there were fences guarding against people falling into the Geofront below. He saw in the distance buildings in the older section of the city being torn down to make way for the newer and more modern buildings, Tokyo–3 had to offer.

'Now, where is the entrance to Gehirn, they must have an office up here for people to look for, even if it is something small.' Kaji thought as he approached the center of the city. Then he saw a sign on one of the only buildings in the area that were up that said "Gehirn HQ" and Kaji decided to approach it.

Kaji went inside and saw the receptionist sitting at the desk. He approached her with his winning smile and as much charm as he could muster. "Hello there, gorgeous, I'm looking to apply for a job with Gehirn, do you have any applications?"

"Oh, I don't." The girl said brightly. "If you don't mind taking a seat, I can have someone come up to interview you quickly."

"Really, what a very hands on process." Kaji said. 'I wonder why that is.' He thought.

"Well, anyone willing to come to our central office and apply is interviewed straight away by the Deputy Director." The girl said happily. "Per our director's orders. What's your name please?"

"Ryoji Kaji." Kaji responded as he sat down.

The girl picked up the phone and called someone. She hung up the phone after a brief conversation. "Mr. Kaji, Deputy Director Fuyutsuki will be up shortly, just sit tight." The girl said as she smiled.

Kaji sat there and waited for about 15 minutes until an old man arrived from behind the reception desk. He was tall and had grey hair, he had a very analytical look in his eye as he approached Kaji.

"Hello, Mr. Kaji, I'm Deputy Director of Gehirn, Kozo Fuyutsuki." Fuyutsuki said, shaking Kaji's hand.

"Nice to meet you, sir." Kaji replied.

"Well, you picked an interesting day to apply for work, Mr. Kaji." Fuyutsuki said. "The eighth anniversary of Second Impact."

"Just Kaji is fine sir, Mr. Kaji was my late father." Kaji said. "And I decided on today because after I read about your organization wanting to prevent Third Impact, I wanted to join on the day that changed so many lives."

"What an honest answer." Fuyutsuki said.

"Well, I'm assuming part of the wait was a background check on me, correct?" Kaji said. "There is no reason to lie."

"You're quite perceptive, Kaji." Fuyutsuki said. "We know about your past from the background check, and I can understand your reasons for wanting to join. Why don't you come down to my office, and I'll give you our 50 question aptitude test, that way we can find what job you may be best suited for."

"Well, thank you, sir, that's very kind." Kaji replied getting up and following Fuyutsuki to the elevator. "So does that mean I'm hired?"

"Yes, Kaji." Fuyutsuki said. "Welcome to Gehirn."

'Excellent, now that I'm here, I can work on finding out who funds this outfit and contacting them as well, all I have to work off of though is one name, SEELE.' Kaji thought as the elevator descended. 'I guess I take that and go from there.'

---

November 24, 2008 – Applied Genetics Laboratories, Tokyo–2

Misato was at her part time job and was a little depressed. She was alone again and hadn't seen or heard from Ritsuko for several months. The fact that even with all of the money she had from the funds Gehirn had given her, she simply needed something to take her mind off of being lonely.

So, Misato took the night shifts so she could still go to class, but that meant she didn't sleep, and on her days off, she was so exhausted, her nightmares ceased because she passed out from exhaustion.

So, Misato was doing her usual filing of reports, which she didn't mind, it gave her something to do, but two voices in the hallway distracted her from her work.

"Hey, get the animals we need to put down, I'd like to have that done before the morning crew get in, you know how a few of those are, if they hear it they won't get any fucking work done." A man said in the hallway.

"Well, sir, the only subject needing to be put down is Bravo X–ray dash 293 Alpha. Every other test subject is on the safe list." The other man said.

"Why BX–293A, I thought his test numbers were good." The man said.

"Well, yes, but he's a bit too curious, they don't want above level intelligence skewing the test results." The other man said.

"I guess, just go get the little guy." The man said. "We can't really argue with the lead scientist's decision, even if it is a stupid one."

"I'll go get him…" The other man said. "I guess some of these assholes do like playing god a little too much."

Misato got up and wondered out to the hallway. She saw her boss standing there with a sullen look on her face.

"Hey, boss, is something wrong?" Misato asked feigning that she didn't know what conversation had just occurred. "You look a little shaken."

"Oh, Katsuragi." The man said. "I didn't know you were over here. Would you mind going upstairs and coming back down later."

"Yeah, just putting the reviewed test files away." Misato replied. "Why should I go upstairs though?"

"Well, there's a test animal we have to put down, and I don't want you to have to be nearby for it." The man said sadly. "Poor little guy…"

'Why put him down though, what did the animal do to deserve that? Maybe I can take it home instead of it being put down…' Misato thought. "Why put him down, can't someone just adopt him instead?" Misato asked.

"Apparently the subject is more highly performing than the other subjects in his test. So he'd skew the results, so he's being put down, but, he's not that kind of animal." The man said. "He's not really domesticated."

"Well, what kind of animal is it?" Misato asked. "I don't mind having to train him."

"Well, I'm not entirely sure, I'd have to see him to know for sure, his data chart would be better at describing it anyway." The said. "Can you pull the file for subject BX–293A? I can give you more details from that."

"Sure, boss." Misato said happily. 'It would be nice to not always be alone at home.' Misato thought. 'To have someone waiting for me when I got home, it would probably even make me happy to have someone I can care for…' Misato found the folder and brought it back to her boss. "Here it is."

"Ah, let me see here." The man said. "Well, he's apparently a warm water penguin? Jesus, they really have been playing God haven't they?" The man said. "Well, according to their notes, he's got increased intelligence, and cognitive abilities. He is very sociable and like being around people. He actually sounds like he'd be a good pet after all."

"Well, I'd love to take him, he shouldn't be put down just because he turned out smarter than some other penguins." Misato said.

The sound of a squeaky cart took the attention away from Misato's conversation however as the other man arrived with a large cage holding a penguin. "WARK!" The penguin in cage squawked, and it sounded quite scared.

"Sir, why is the file girl down here, we have to deal with penguin?!"

"She was doing her job, and she has offered to take the test subject off our hands." The man said. "I see no reason to let her take him."

"Neither do I, but he can be a bit greedy, I guess he doesn't like sharing very much from what the observer told me." The other man said.

Misato approached the penguin and looked at him. He had red plumage on top of his head and he was wearing what looked like a backpack that was strapped around his neck. On the strap was the number "BX–293A" in small print and the word "PEN2" in large print.

"So his name is Pen–Pen?" Misato asked. "What a cute name."

"So, if you want him, you can take him." The man said.

"Sure, I just want to ask, what's on his back?" Misato asked.

"Ah, it regulates his body heat, so he can't take it off, it keeps him healthy. It works passively, so it doesn't require power." The man said.

"Well, he's cute, so I'll take him." Misato said. "Can I take him out of the cage?"

"Sure, go ahead." The other man said.

Misato opened the cage and picked up Pen–Pen for the first time. The penguin just looked at her with a wary eye until Misato spoke. "How would you like to come home with me, Pen–Pen?" Misato said cheerfully.

"Wark, wark!" The penguin squawked happily in reply.

To Be Continued

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A/N: I do not own Evangelion or any of the characters, GAINAX and the other distributors of NGE related material do. I am simply using them as a backdrop for my fanfic.

As for the songs used in this chapter, I don't own them either, and they're listed below in order of appearance:
Huey Lewis and the New Boys – The Power of Love (1985)
The Boys – First Time (1977)
Cutting Crew – (I Just) Died in Your Arms (1986)
Cyndi Lauper – She Bop (1984)
Led Zeppelin – The Lemon Song (1969)

Ok, so first on the chapter's length. Seeing as I've neglected the second most important trio the show has to offer, they needed a good long chapter to themselves to, well, catch up on some things.

As you may have noticed, I don't write sex scenes. I simply replace the act itself with an appropriate song and leave the rest to your imaginations. I find this is the best way to handle this for myself as a writer, because I want the fic to be about the characters, not about when they are having sex. Don't get me wrong, I don't have a problem with lemons or anything, it's just not my cup of tea.

That having been said, it took a little time to choose the right songs for the seven days of sex Misato and Kaji go on, which was fueled by Viagra and hormones.

Also, the bouquet Kaji carries for their second date, Carnations, in the Hanakotoba (Japanese Language of the flowers) means Fascination, Distinction, and Love, Which fits for their relationship, as Kaji is quite enamored with her

Ue o Muite Aruko, known outside Japan as Sukiyaki, is the only Japanese language track to reach the No. 1 on the U.S. Billboard 100.

Alright, so yes, Ritsuko broke the happy couple up because she herself can't be happy due to her own experiences in the past. Sure, the two had their own insecurities to begin with, but they were exacerbated by Ritsuko toward the end of their relationship, which eventually led to her playing both sides against the middle, and causing them to finally break up.

Also on the fact of Ritsuko's childhood, considering her mother's lack of concern for her daughter, coupled with the fact that in the show, when Ritsuko is paraded in front of SEELE (which itself implied she had just been raped) that it wasn't the first time it had happened to her, and the reason for her deep hatred of her mother (and general cold detached demeanor) would be explained by what I wrote.

And finally, Pen–Pen is here to stay! Hope you enjoyed that tidbit.

As I said before, and will always say at the end of chapter, please leave comments, as I would like to try to improve the story going forward any way I can. And, hell, constructive criticism is a good thing.

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つづく