Chapter 4
When you walk away

"Fen, where are you going?" mom asked with a tremble in her voice

I refused to turn around only because I didn't want to make this harder on both of us "I just want to go for a walk, I'll be back later alright?"

"No its not alright! What's this!?" she unfurled the paper, and read select few lines "I won't be a burden to you, I know what's happened, you don't need to worry about me anymore." She crumpled the paper again and threw it at the ground "Fen there's nothing to be worried about. I don't know where you heard about my problems but they aren't true."

"We both know that's just a lie mom. I heard you in the vet, you wouldn't joke about that with dad. Not after what happened that night."

"Fen you were under anesthetics you probably dreamed the whole thing up."

"I saw letters in your room, you applied for a job in loads of other places, and got rejected. You also have some debts you need to pay off."

There was no denying it now, I already knew the truth. Mom knew this too but she couldn't keep herself standing with the weight of her sadness on her shoulders. I knew I promised myself I wouldn't turn around but the sound of her crying tore at my heart commanding me to turn around. I turned to face her once more only to be confronted with a sight that no child, pet or human otherwise should ever see in their life time. There's just something about seeing your mother on her knees crying that just causes you to break down along with her.

My world, as well as hers, is crumbling from a humble house, to a cold dark front lawn. I needed her to know that this was for her, it wouldn't be right if I left mom crying on her knees in the middle of the night.

"Mom," I sat down beside her and wrapped her in my arms "I need you to know; I love you, and I'm not leaving because I don't love you or I feel betrayed. I'm leaving because your life would be better if I wasn't in it. You have dad now, he'll take care of you. You deserve happiness and I'd only get in the way of that. If I stayed with you we'd both be miserable, but if I leave at least you'd have a chance at a better life."

Mom took a second to recover before she spoke again, her voice riddled with sadness "Fen, I'm so sorry. I promised to be the one to care for you, and I failed. I'm sorry."

"Mom its okay. I'm doing this for you."

"At least wait till you get adopted by someone else. You can't survive alone as a stray."

"There isn't anyone in your family who would take care of me. I will never go back to the shelter, and you can't wait till I get adopted. It took me an entire two years before I was adopted and you can't wait that long."

"Fen are you sure? There has to be some way we can fix this something, anything?"

"No I've made up my mind now please let me do this for you. It's the only thing I can do."

She looked into my eyes and I could tell she knew I was serious "Fen, can you wait here?"

I shot her a curious glance but nodded. I undid my embrace and let her stand on her shaking knees as she made her way back inside. She was gone, this was my chance to run away so mom wouldn't have to see me go. Unfortunately mom only took a shorter time that I expected and she returned with three objects in her arms.

"Mom, presents won't convince me to stay, besides I can't take any of it." I looked at the things in her arms I recognized some of it

She set them down one by one "I know I can't convince you to stay, and if I forced you to stay you would just sneak out. So I won't let you go unless I know I've done something to help you." I recognized some of the things she placed in front of me. First was my collar, next was my skateboard, and last was a box "I want you to have your collar back, just to remind you of me and help you sneak past some dog catchers. Your feet are still healing, so your skateboard could prove useful when it gets hard to walk. Last this is for you, since December is just around the corner, I wanted to give this to you as a Christmas present, but I guess you can have it now. I had a friend, fastest in the business, modify it so that it would fit you instead and don't worry I got it as a favor so it didn't cost me a dime. "

Without hesitation mom opened the box and pulled out a flowing black garb. My eyes widened, as I had come to realize that mom was giving me her coat. She opened the zipper and eased my arms into its sleeves. I expected it to be extremely loose and fall off but it fit perfectly on like it was made for me. Instantly I could feel warmth spreading through me as the coat shielded me from the cold.

"My brave, handsome, and caring dog." she trembled with every word she managed to draw out as she pressed her hand against the side of my face "I sometimes miss the dull eyed pup from the pound, but when I look at your eyes I can see that these eyes matured from those."

She paused to wipe the tears from her face "Fen I love you, I wish you could stay, I wish I could still be the one to take care of you. However not matter how hard I try to deny it, its just not possible anymore. Please be safe out there, and no matter what don't forget me. Okay?" She smiled saddened but I knew it was for my sake

I took in all the details of mom's face one more time, since it was probably the last time I'd see her. Her smile I swore I'd never forget, her long flowing hair that made her look like the purest of maidens, her shining emerald eyes that contrasted my crimson ones so perfectly it was a shame to separate the set. This was the woman I'd gladly give my life for, her kindness and warmth are better reserved for someone who can make her happier than I ever could.

"Mom you did the one thing nobody in this world has ever done for me. You cared about me, you gave me a chance, and even after a million concussions I'd never forget you or what you did for me. I love you too never forget that." Like howl I would forget about my own mother

She still held my shoulders tight afraid to let go, afraid she'd never see me again, afraid this would be the last time we held each other so close, afraid she'd forget about me her son "We do this together then, alright?"

No words were needed, as we nodded together in agreement. We both stood up together and faced our backs against each other. I faced the road and the journey ahead of me, while mom faced what was once our shared home. I was going to miss mom, but this was something that needed to be done.

"Goodbye Fen." She sighed making her way to the front door

"Goodbye mom." I brought up my hood and started walking after all I had a long journey ahead of me

End of Chapter 4