A/N: Ages: Thorin- 43; Dis- 42; FIli-21; Kili 20. I'll post more ages as more character show up!

-Have the car ready-

Thorin quick shot a text to Dwalin, hands clammy. He straightened the collar of his ragged suit jacket, wiping some spare crumbs off the tee-shirt he wore underneath. Breakfast had been a rushed affair in the dark, stuffing his face full of the strawberry Pop Tarts he kept in his bedside drawer just for occasions like this.

If his friend wasn't here in the next ten minutes, he was going to have to sneak out the window.

Dwalin: -There in five. Be ready-

He grinned, thumbing the power button to get rid of the light. He'd packed his bag the night before and left it at the Fundinson's, so that wouldn't be any trouble. It was just the small matter of getting out the front door…

The entrance to his bedroom opened with a soft snick noise that made him wince. Luckily, the hallway was all soft carpet that he'd laid in himself, and he knew each and every squeaky spot.

His eyes adjusted easily in the darkness as he made his way into the kitchen, hands skimming the walls ever so slightly to maintain balance.

He was almost home free when he decided to stop for a quick glass of water.

Thorin knew he should keep moving, knew it was too risky, but he couldn't help it. He was thirsty damn it, and being so quiet. Dwalin wouldn't be there for another minute at least, he had plenty of time.

He was in the middle of filling the glass, ever so slowly and with the least amount of water pressure possible when he heard the creak of someone in the hallway.

No, no, no, he set the cup down and shut off the faucet, hoping he could make it out of the room before whoever it was stepped inside-

The light flicked on and brown bleary eyes met his for a moment before they widened with a wordless shout.

"Wait!" was all he got out before a furious gust of wind slammed into his torso, knocking the breath out of him.

He wheezed desperately, barely managing to stay upright by clutching the counter.

"Oh shit, Uncle Thorin?" Kíli, looking much more alert, rushed over to help him stand, "I didn't realize it was you!"

"Obviously not," Thorin panted, "But I have to go, Dwalin is-"

"Kíli? What happened?" a female voice came from the other side of the room, "What's wrong with my brother?"

"I thought he'd broken in, I didn't know!" Kíli said defensively, brushing his bangs out of his eyes as he gave his mother a pleading look.

"What did I say about asking questions first?"

"To… not?"

"Exactly. You don't have to apologize for defending yourself, especially since your uncle was trying to sneak out without saying goodbye again."

Kíli looked relieved; Thorin on the other hand, was anything but, "Dís, Dwalin's waiting for me-"

"Something I'm well aware of. His loud engine woke me up the moment he pulled into the driveway. I expected more from you, Thorin. Especially if you think you're leaving the house wearing that."

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" he glanced down at his comfy jeans, dress shoes, gray undershirt and the only black suit jacket he owned that didn't have a hole in the elbow, "I'm just meeting Dain."

"You look like a homeless person. And you're seeing that Bilbo fellow later. We need him, lest you've forgotten. You have to make a good impression," she reprimanded, padding over to him in her classy pale pink nightgown, "God, is this Fíli's shirt?"

Now it was Thorin's turn to get defensive, "I don't know! It was mixed up in my laundry so I just assumed. We're all the same size anyway-"

"Fíli says you've got broader shoulders and if you stretch out his favorite tee he's not speaking to you for a week," Kíli relayed, sitting on the counter nonchalantly.

"Speaking of your brother, why isn't he out here?" Thorin not so subtly changed the subject.

"He's trying to decide if it's worth getting out from under the warm covers to see you yelled at."

The sound of a door opening down the hall made Kíli's smile widen and Fíli slouched into the room without a shirt, rubbing his eyes, "Totally worth it."

"I'm glad you three are awake to send me off, but Dain is waiting-"

"To help you save face and time, we'll compromise. You can wear this to meet our cousin, but as soon as you leave to meet this Boggins fellow, or whatever his name is, you're going to change into the clothes I hung on the rack by the front door. I bought them for you yesterday, and I've trained these boys well enough that they will betray you to me at a moments notice, so if you show up to that house without a suit on, I'll know," Dís gave him a threatening glare.

"It's true," Fíli supplied with a yawn.

Shivers spiraled up and down Thorin's spine, "Fine."

Her gaze softened, "Now give me a hug you useless lump, I'll see you in a few months. I'll make sure the boys get to the appointed house on time, just don't get lost too lost, okay?"

Thorin pulled his substantially shorter sibling into his arms, resting his chin on the top of her head, "I'll try my best."

"And do try to at least write every once in a while if it's not too dangerous, okay?"

"Of course," he squeezed tighter just before letting go, "I'll see you two later tonight."

Fíli and Kíli nodded in response, Kíli already stuffing his face with a piece of toast he'd gotten from God only knew where.

He snagged the suit and tie off the hook as he rushed out, hopping into Dwalin's truck with as much speed as he was able.

When Dwalin gave him a quizzical look, he shook his head, "The family woke up. Now hurry before Dís gets over her anger at my outfit and realizes I stole her portable DVD player."

The younger man's eyes widened and he floored it out of the driveway.

A/N: Thanks for reading! Please keep posting about your preference for pairings etc! Thanks so much! :D