This is the longest chapter I've done with this, I wanted to put everything that was needed in this chapter into it and I think it's a good chapter. This shows just what Ted is thinking and what's been in his head for all this time since Tracy's death. This chapter has some canon things in it, I just love the BR relationship so much I think they're just so perfect for each other and this chapter shows just that.
This is also almost the end of this story, I will end this in the next chapter and I have a great way to end it. I enjoyed writing this it was much different from the other stories I've done and I love how this turned out because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do with this or how long I wanted it to go for a while. But, I think this is the right way to go and end it. Enjoy the last couple of chapters.
"Ted, can you give me and Barney a minute while we talk in private?" Robin asked, in a nice soft tone of voice she knew exactly why Ted was thinking that she was living in that apartment, the apartment she lived in when she and Barney first divorced.
In the months that followed their finalization of their divorce papers, which took another few months to be official. Robin, continued her assignment in Argentina, while Barney packed up his stuff and went back to New York. Robin, buried herself in her work to try to forget about Barney, the divorce that wasn't yet finalized and her relationship crumbling into pieces before her very eyes. Before, she or they could save it from beyond repair. So, she continued to work, and work, and work until she finished up that assignment. After that, she had returned to New York and to the apartment, a very quiet, dark, and a little bit creepy apartment she ended up loving to live in in the last couple of years. It has became a home to her. A place where she could finally be in peace in her living space for once. Yes, for once in her life since she's been in New York, she finally had a place to call home. Not that she hasn't loved living in the other places she's lived in before she got engaged because her first apartment, the apartment above the bar and the apartment she lived in before she and Barney got engaged. Because, she did.
She, did love all those places but neither of those places felt like a home to her. It always felt like, her first apartment felt like a new beginning when she first moved to the city, the apartment above the bar was always Ted's apartment or Ted and Marshall's apartment to her, she just lived there because she had nowhere else to live at the time, she thinks now though that she probably shouldn't have stayed there longer than a few month, instead she stayed/lived there for five years. And, the apartment she rented when she started to become a bigger personality at WWN, although that place felt like a home to her but she didn't live there for long. Then, Barney proposed and she moved into his place. Sure it was a bit weird living in that bachelor pad, but surprisingly when she and Barney dated before it had already felt like a second home to her. She even had her stuff at the apartment and Barney had no problems with it, shockingly the more their relationship evolved and they became committed to each other the more she felt like the apartment was more of a home.
And, once they became engaged and she moved in with him, It did feel like the first real home she's had since being in New York. After, the divorce was finalized it wasn't a good time in her life, she did bury herself into her work more after that but she did it because at any moment she was sure she would have a breakdown. So, she thought about work, work, work, and ignored anything that had to do with her friends or her life in New York. She went from country to country, city to city, town to town, all over the world in the short span of two years trying to forget about the worst heartbreak in her life. Losing, Barney had started to make her lose herself a bit. She found herself not only burying herself in her work she buried herself in alcohol, and a lot of it in the months right after the divorce was finalized. That was the worst time in her life, the minute those divorce papers were finalized and her lawyer called to tell her. That's when she had the first breakdown of many after five month of trying to not to think about the divorce, those damn papers, that finalized call, or Barney and their failed relationship.
She had drunkenly dialed Barney's number a few times in her drunken state of mind whenever she went too far and got wasted with the memories of him. The memories of their failed relationship once again it felt like the months and weeks after she and Barney broke up the first time all over again. The memories of his touch, his kisses, his sweet words of support (at first) for her career success, the ways he would send her little love notes and things while she was away from New York and they were apart, the ways he would suddenly show up unannounced to surprise her at one of her locations she was stationed in (those stopped right before that final straw in the hotel), the sound of his voice whenever they got to talk before one of them went to sleep, she just missed everything. And, once those divorce papers came every single emotion she tried to hold in came bursting out like a broken hydrant. She was a basic mess for months after that. And, once they ran into each other again for the first time since that last interaction in the hotel in Argentina. All, those memories came flowing back and as much as she tried to move on and forget about him, that moment in the train station ticket line made her remember all over again why she never truly moved on or forgot about Barney in those two years after they divorced.
Of course, Robin and Barney talked about those heartbreaking days after he left her in Argentina. When, they decided to try to give their relationship another try, both of them confessed that they were miserable in those two years and Barney told her that he had received those drunken phone calls, they had a saddened laugh over that and poured themselves a reunion/back together scotch and after that day when Barney surprised her in London, their relationship sure had it's problems but survived everything that they went through when they decided to get back together.
So, when Robin finally realized what is going on with Ted she needed to talk to Barney in private because she knew exactly what's going on and she's sure that he knows what's happening as well. It's been twelve years since they got back together and ten years since remarrying and five years since they had their daughter. It was a struggle but they finally found their way back to each other and it didn't take them too long to get back together. They had their problems, especially right after they reunited in 2018 and then again right before Brailyn was conceived. But, since then things have been going great between them and their little family.
"We, will be right back." Robin continues as she takes Barney's hand and brings him to the kitchen.
At, this time it's now 1 am in the morning and they still haven't gotten anywhere with Ted but Robin thinks she knows what's going on with him and has an idea of how to get him out of the past. They're thinking, it has to do with memories and Robin thinks she knows a way to end this once and for all.
"I know, I knew that he was thinking that he's living in 2005 when he first met you. He wants the good memories of the past before he met Tracy to come back because he wants to forget about her." Barney, said once they were in the kitchen.
He knew that Ted was in this mind set to forget about Tracy, to forget that she ever existed because he's still not over her death. Robin, knew that Barney was right all along, he was the one to tell her this the day he showed up at their new apartment with the blue french horn telling her how much he had been thinking about her and is still in love with her. Robin, had to be nice and turn him down without getting too worked up or emotional over this. But, she did turn him down and sent him back home to the kids. That's when she had the idea to kind of help Ted out at his house, she helped out with the kids, she cooked (or tried to), she cleaned, took the kids anywhere they needed to go, she hung out with Ted and pretended to be married to him which is why he thinks they're married and it's 2006.
He, thinks they never broke up and she never truly moved on from Ted and that's why he thinks they're together and his kids with Tracy are her kids too. The only kid she has is her daughter and that even took a while to have with all the struggles she had conceiving the old normal way. So, that's why she wants to talk to Barney alone.
"You were right, he thinks we're married because he did see the ring when I first started helping out here." She says, showing him her wedding ring. With a slight/light smile on his face when she showed him the symbol of their true love reunion. It's still amazing to him how far they have come and how happy they truly are together.
"He wants to forget all about Tracy because he's still not over her death." Robin, continued sadly. Her and Barney both miss Tracy, if it wasn't for her they wouldn't have been together right now. And, both would still be heartbroken over losing each other. And, that's why Ted is acting the way he is, he misses Tracy but is trying to find ways to forget she ever existed and they now know what to do to help their friend and to have this meeting come to an end.
"We, did the exact same thing when we were apart. Trying to forget, and trying to find ways to forget. All that did for us was pour bottles of scotch and other varieties of alcohol down our throats to keep the pain away. I still remember your heartbreaking phone messages, trying to ignore them and you, and putting our boxes of stuff from our relationship back into the storage unit. We both weren't over that loss and Ted isn't over losing Tracy." They looked at each other and the memories of those heartbreaking days come back to them, it really wasn't the happiest days and years of their days without each other.
"Yeah, me too. Those days were not my happiest or best days of my life, losing you was one of my worst nightmares. True story." They smile at each other through teary eyed smiles and realize just how they can help Ted get his present life back.
When, they got back together she told him that losing him was always her biggest fear because losing him meant losing the only thing to make her happy, and happiness was always scary to her, she was always afraid to be happy and Barney's her true happiness and the thought of losing him meant that she loses her happiness. Then, she did and completely destroyed her world and her life was not completed anymore. He confessed that losing her was this worst mistake, they had made love after that. After their reunion in London, after they talked about everything they kept inside for those two years.
"Mine too. I have a way to help Ted find his way back to the present day." And, then they start to discuss and plan the rest of this meeting because they really are tired and want to go home to their daughter.
"Okay, guys we're back." Robin announced, sitting back where she was sitting before and Barney sat next to her on the chair he was sitting on before.
"Ted, I know this is incredibly hard for you. I've been through the exact same thing as you, and I was in the same place as your head is at now. I know the feeling of loss, I know how it is when the one person you love most in this world leaves you. But, it's okay to try and forget them, try to move on but you can't go back to the past I tried that but it got me nowhere and made me more miserable after that loss." When, Robin said the line 'can't go back to the past' a memory flashed over his eyes to the time when he had broken up with Zoey and thought he should get back together with her. He was feeling the loss of the relationship then and that got him to act the way he did in trying to get her back. Ted, remembers Robin saying this to him and Barney was also there agreeing with what she said. You can't go back to the past because it's familiar – because, it's a mistake, the memory of that came back to him and it hit him with a whole new memory.
A memory of Tracy and the events (Barney's and Robin's wedding weekend) before that wedding and the loss and new journey he was about to take.
"I remember. I remember I was just trying to forget." In that moment, Barney and Robin look at each other and smile through blurry vision, Barney takes her hand in his and rubs his thumb over her wedding band and she looks down at his hand intertwined with hers then back up at him smiling a little more brighter than she was before, then she looks back at Ted.
Marshall and Lily also look at each other for a minute then their attention is back on Ted.
Ted, finally remembers but he was trying to forget and along with trying to forget Tracy and the memories of his life with her he became confused and started to be in denial about his life, his friends lives and Tracy. Most, importantly, Tracy and their life together with their two now teenaged children.
"We, know Ted and I understand. When, I thought I lost Barney even though it's not the same thing as Tracy since she's gone, but never forgotten. I thought I lost him forever, I started to try to forget and buried myself in my work to forget that heartbreak. I get it, but you can't stay in that denial because it does slowly eats you up and everything you try to forget does come back because it never leaves. " Robin, knew that in a way Ted has been trying to forget all about Tracy but trying to not upset him because he was deeply depressed and still in mourning over losing Tracy she just didn't think he was that far gone until this meeting today.
"I know." Ted says, now crying over the realization that he really does miss Tracy and he's still not over her death even if it's six years after her death it's still, it seems like it was only yesterday that he lost her. "I just miss her, more and more every day but you're right I can't keep being in denial, I thought thinking of the past and maybe starting over to find a way to be happy again but I realize now that I was only trying to forget about Tracy and ever meeting her. I, I haven't been happy, since her death I haven't been myself but thanks to you guys intervening in my depression. I'm glad you did because I would have never learned my lesson, the lesson I even told my kids even. I can't go back to the past and that's what I was doing this whole time. So, thank you Robin I'm glad you were there for me but I think I can now move on now but not forget Tracy ever again, I will never forget her she really was the love of my life." And, now everyone's crying and the moment gets way overly emotional, it takes sometime to calm down and stop the emotions.
"We, have never forgotten Tracy. We never will, if it wasn't for her Robin and I wouldn't be together now. So, we will always be thankful because she helped us get back together both times we were both unhappy and still had feelings that were unresolved between us. She helped us get back together when I met her in the pharmacy, telling me I should stop playing around and go to Robin. That's when I wrote the play to get her back, she also saw how miserable we both were when we divorced and then when we ran into each other at Grand Central, she saw how happy we were and at ease with each other after being apart for two years. So, we have Tracy to thank for reuniting us both times and for that we will always, always remember her for that." Barney and Robin look at each other again when Barney says this remembering their reunions, god they were both idiots, idiots who gave up way too easily, way too soon and who love each other more than anything in the world. Meeting, Tracy was the best thing that ever happened to their relationship and they will forever be thankful that they met her.
She really was Ted's perfect girl, she was his soulmate just like Robin and Barney are soulmates and true love. That's something nobody should forget no matter how painful it is. Both of them understand how that is, because it was truly the hardest time in their lives when they were still in love but still devastated over losing each other again.
"I should get the kids, I know they were worried about me I could tell they were saddened by the way I was acting." Ted, finally controlled his emotions and stood up from the couch to go talk to his kids because he feels bad about putting them through his emotional down fall.
"Okay, I know they were worried too. They were the ones who suggested we do this intervention. They were really worried and scared that they lose their father too." Robin says, it wasn't only Robin and Barney's idea to do this meeting it was also his kids who were concerned so they wanted this meeting even more then Robin and Barney too wanted, so when Ted came by with the french horn Barney and Robin had enough and decided to put a stop to this whole thing for once and for all.
"Oh, I'm still confused about something." Ted, says as he remembers that he was confused about how Barney and Robin ended up with a kid that isn't just Barney's kid after he knows that Robin couldn't have children.
"What's that, Ted?" Robin, was curious to know what Ted wants to know now that his memories are back and he realizes what's going on around him.
"You said you and Barney have a daughter, I thought that daughter was Barney's, Barney's daughter only so how did you become a mother when you couldn't have kids." And, now Robin thinks, he remembers everything which is a good thing but it might just be annoying her now.
"Yes, I couldn't. But, I had tried in vitro fertilization and some other tests to try to get pregnant. I wasn't supposed to get pregnant, ever but with how things in technology and health have changed over the years I had extensive tests done before I found out that I was pregnant. We were trying to have a baby for four years before I was pregnant, but nothing worked. We kept trying, everything we could to find ways to have a baby, but nothing worked for a while. We, even thought about surrogacy and considered adoption but we both wanted to have a biological children, you know part me and part Barney because I really wanted a child that's biological, we almost gave up at one time but then the day after Tracy's funeral I found out that I was pregnant. I was pregnant for a week and a half before finding out that I was pregnant that following Monday at my weekly checkups, I kind of got pregnant because of Tracy, we had gotten drunk the day she passed away, one thing led to another and then I was pregnant." Wow, Ted thought, he wasn't expecting that but that was quite a lot of information to take in.
"So, you got pregnant because of Tracy?" He asked, again he was a bit weirded out about this but finds it kind of nice that Robin got pregnant after being told she never could.
"Yeah, kind of. Tracy's death had a lot to do with us conceiving, but we were trying before that and it was a lot of struggle, and the pregnancy itself was difficult. It was delicate, I was never supposed to get pregnant but we really did want to have a child, a child that is half of me and half of Barney. If we stopped trying then that was it, I was never going to have a baby." And, now she's tearing up and Barney sees how emotional she is and knows how much struggle they went through to conceive, it almost ruined their relationship but when she did get pregnant they started to take a step back and not go down the road to another heartbreaking breakup again.
"So, we kept trying and found out on that Monday after Tracy's funeral. We kept the pregnancy a secret, even on that day of the funeral, Marshall and Lily only found out about us being together and we didn't know she was pregnant. But, then she was and we didn't want to tell anyone due to the circumstances with the pregnancy, it was really tough on her so we kept it a secret. Marshall and Lily didn't find out until a year after our daughter was born." Barney, knew Robin was very emotional about this and telling it again was too much so he decided to finish the little story on how they had their daughter.
"Wow, that's a lot of detail to think about. I'm shocked that you two are back together but even more so now that I know that you had a child." Shocked, Ted doesn't know how to take this news but he's going to have to be supportive of this news because it is great news that Robin had a child it's just a little bit much to take in after all the other things that were going on tonight.
"I get that, it is a lot to take in." Robin, says. She knows that there was a part of Ted that always wanted to have kids with her but she also knows that just being together with Barney is hard to take even though he is over Robin and had been for along time now.
"So, I guess we'll get going it's almost 2 in the morning." Barney announced, ready to go home because this night was exhausting and he wants to go hold his daughter even though she would be asleep at this time.
"Yeah. One more thing before you leave. Can I meet your daughter? I know I'm a little weird about this but I would love to get to know my friends child." Ted said, wanting to know the child of Barney and Robin because the story that was told was actually quite sweet and he wants to see if this is real, that their daughter is actually real and their daughter not just Barney's.
"Sure, we'll set something up. Maybe next weekend." Robin says, even if it's hard for Ted to understand she does want her daughter to meet her uncle Ted because Brailyn doesn't know him and she wants him to know her daughter.
"Okay." Ted, smiles lightly at Robin then goes upstairs to talk to his children.
The gang all leaves after this and goes their separate ways.