Soft seal
Little seal
Swimming in the sea
Happy seal
Swim to me
Time to go to sleep

Katara blinked as the words of the Water Tribe lullaby washed over her. She could barely make out the blurred blue form sitting nearby.

"Dad?"

"Hey sis."

"Sokka." Since when did his shoulders get so broad? And his voice, so deep?

"They said you just passed out from exhaustion. Are you sure you didn't take a blow to the head?" He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Where am I?"

"The hospital. On Ember Island. But everything's OK—"

"Zuko!" She tried to sit up, but the throbbing sensation behind her eyes made her think better of it. Maybe I did hit my head?

"He's fine, Katara."

"What happened?"

"Our search party found you two passed out in the middle of the jungle. We'd been searching for ages. It's a good thing Zuko set those fires."

"Zuko… the snake bite…"

"Iroh administered the anti-venom. He said you should never go into the jungle without it. He also said you must have gotten most of the poison out already. Otherwise, we would've been too late."

Katara gasped. "Where is he? I want to see him." Why does my head hurt so much?

"They had to take him back to the capital. For the paralysis."

"The wha—?"

"Like I said, Katara, he's fine. I don't know all the medical mumbo jumbo, so you'll have to get Dr. Yang to explain later. She's got some special treatment for him. So as soon as you're better, we'll head back, too."

"What's wrong with me?"

"I don't know. A serious case of the dolts? Katara, why didn't you guys go back to the zipline tower after it broke? You had to know that was the first place we'd look for you."

"Was there anyone else there when you got there?"

"No, why?"

"Sokka, the line didn't break. It was cut. We were afraid that…"

"Whoa. Now that's… something. Um…"

Katara lay back and closed her eyes. The series of events from the jungle flashed in her mind, intensifying the pulsing pain she already felt. She groaned.

"Hey, Katara, just rest here. I've gotta… go do something." Sokka patted her shoulder and then stood to leave.

"S-s-okka?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you sing it again? Just one more time."

He frowned. He was the meat-and-sarcasm guy. The plan guy. Not the care-and-comfort guy. Or the lullaby-guy. Sure, he had been singing it before, but…

"Sometimes, I just… miss her so much," Katara whispered.

Two pairs of blue eyes met, both knowing. Remembering.

"Me, too, sis." Sokka sighed.

He sang. She slept.

Leaves from the vine
Falling so slow
Like fragile, tiny shells
Drifting in the foam
Little soldier boy
Come marching home
Brave soldier boy
Comes marching home

"Mom?" Zuko had listened to her sing the lullaby through a few times before speaking. He wasn't sure if she was really there. Maybe I'm dreaming again.

"Zuko, my love."

He opened his eyes, but instead of searching for her, he stared at a spot on the ceiling. He'd seen it before. He knew exactly where he was—the royal hospital—the very same room. Perhaps she wasn't there after all. He remembered lying there, praying she'd come, dreaming that she actually did, and then pretending she was there when no one else was.

He closed his eyes again. He could almost feel the rough fabric bandage pressed against his face. She never came then. Why would she be here now?

"Zuko?" This time she touched him, and an undeniable sense of hope surged through him. He felt this way so rarely. Tears pricked at the corner of his eyes, but then as he remembered why he was here, hope was suddenly lost.

"Katara!"

"Shhhhhh, she's fine, dear. Everything is going to be OK."

It is not OK. They tried to kill us. He clinched his fists, but something wasn't right.

"I c-c-can't feel my…"

"It's from the snake bite. Some residual effects of the poison. But don't worry, Dr. Yang can fix you right up."

I thought I was beyond fixing. Katara says to just let it go. "Mom?" He finally turned his head so he could see her. Up until that point, he was afraid she might vanish if he did.

"Yes, my love?"

"Do you think I should… forgive him? Is that what will… make it—make me better?"

She furrowed her brow in thought. "You know, I've been talking to your friend, Aang, a lot lately. He'd probably say that forgiveness is the pathway to healing."

"Yeah, he would. I used to think that sounded crazy. Now, I'm not so sure." I'm at the point where I'm willing to consider anything, though.

"There are a lot of things Aang has shown me about the Air Nomad teachings that I have found enlightening. Perhaps even some of those things will be helpful to you. But… I don't think forgiving your father is one of them."

"You d-d-don't?"

"No, Zuko. I think… you need to forgive yourself."

"But… I don't know how." He tried to focus on the spot on the ceiling again, but it started to blur through his tears.

Ursa shifted in her seat beside the bed and leaned closer to him. "When you think about what makes you the most angry about your father, is it what he did to you… or what he's doing to you now?"

"It's more like what he didn't do… or what he could do in the future."

"I'm sorry that he wasn't a better father to you, but you have to know that none of that was your fault. And he can't hurt you anymore, he's locked away for good."

"I know that. I'm not afraid of him. I'm afraid of…" Becoming him.

"He doesn't deserve your forgiveness. And he doesn't deserve a foothold in your life anymore. Zuko, just let it go. Let him go."

Why does everyone keep saying that? What does that even mean? How do you let someone go when they visit you every night in your dreams?

"Mom, what did you do?"

"For what?"

"To let him go… or whatever?"

"Oh, Zuko. It was easy to let go when he gave me the best part of him. I had you."

Zuko saw that she reached out to touch his arm just above where it had been bandaged, but he couldn't feel it. And her words—he couldn't get a good sense of them, either.

Two sets of golden eyes met, both uncertain. Searching.

He will always be a part of me. Of course, I can't let it go.

A/N: Short chapter, long notes. First of all, Soft Little Seal is the name of a lullaby that Emletish comes up with, shared between Z&K, and she says that it's reminiscent of Soft Kitty from The Big Bang Theory. Man, it's been ages since I've seen that show. Pardon me while I binge watch highlights on You Tube... OK, I'm back! So, I made up some words for Soft Little Seal based on the tune of Soft Kitty. The song, Leaves From the Vine, is from one of my fav ATLA episodes, The Tales of Ba Sing Se.

So, an explanation on the forgiveness thing… no, I don't think Zuko's dying words would be that he forgives his father. That was the poison talking. I do think he grapples with this idea of forgiveness as a possible solution/last resort. He's getting close to that place where Dr. Jung said he would feel very raw and things would seem very dark before it got better.

Katara is even taken aback when she says "just let it go," and he says, "do you want me to forgive him?" She's thinking she would never expect that especially after what they went through together with Yon Ra and the Southern Raiders. He's thinking, how do you just let it go? It's not like you can just listen to the wind chimes and have the air magically cleared of all your worries and pain.

Telling a person in the midst of their trauma, grief, or even recovery to "just let it go," is most unhelpful. It can even be stifling because it doesn't validate any reasons why they might be still holding on… or acknowledge that they might not ever be able to let it go. Moving forward doesn't mean denying what happened. It means building upon it. Sure, you can't change the past, but you can't erase it either. It's a part of your experience, and every person deals with it in their own way. For some, this means forgiveness. For others, acceptance. Or validation. Redirection. Confession. Many different pathways to healing, with methods and combinations as unique as the person seeking them.

This is why I have Ursa say the same thing to Zuko, "Just let it go." Because even though she was abused by the same person, her experience was different, and her way of dealing with it will be different, too. Yes, I imagine having Zuko gave her a sense of hope in the midst of her situation (and no, I'm not suggesting her looking to her child to meet an emotional need in an unhealthy way, although this type of projection can happen). Ursa still has some healing to do herself, and she won't be the best person to help Zuko in this area.

I also want to backtrack a little to an explanation about the play (chapter 10) and my thoughts on Katara as a peasant. First of all, even though Zuko calls her that early in the series, I don't think she really is one. Perhaps he thinks that initially because of the state in which he finds her village at the South Pole (small, depleted, only women and children) but Katara is the daughter of the Chief, a master waterbender, and a war hero. She has status, even in the Fire Nation, where Iroh strategically gave her the title of Ambassador to the Water Tribe (she doesn't do much with this role just yet, but she will) and we saw at the parade that people already love her.

Some people don't, like Fire Sage Satoru, who is set in his old ways and blinded by his prejudices. He still calls Katara a peasant, very much like season-one Zuko did. Early in his reign, Zuko was worried about his nation accepting Katara as his girlfriend and future Fire Lady (while also enjoying keeping his personal life out of the public limelight). He's over that now—he has to be, the word is officially out. The exchange in the tea shop (chapter 11) shows the varied responses: mostly people just stare; others spread gossip; some have views like the men who were fighting… Zuko doesn't really like all the attention, but he would definitely jump to Katara's defense in a heartbeat.

I imagine the buzz around Zutara in the Fire Nation would be like that of Prince William and Kate Middleton in the UK. Ohhhhh! They've landed in Canada! Let's watch them get off the plane. Look at Kate's amazing blue dress. Isn't the baby cute? Aw, Prince George said the word "poop." Where are they headed next? Oooooh, a meeting with the Canadian Prime Minister… ya know, that sort of thing.

There's a reason why Katara's respective character in the play, Forbidden Love, is portrayed as a peasant through and through. For starters, it's an adaptation of their lives, and even Zuko's character is altered to that of nobility instead of royalty. Perhaps when we meet the playwright, he'll explain further why he wrote it this way.