A/N: The real significance of 61 is that I knew I wanted a prime number, and that happens to be the total number of ATLA episodes. The rest is just fiction...
I have lots of head canon craziness, and the flood gates start to open in this chapter. I will offer more notes/explanation in the next chapter.
"…58, 59, 60, 61." Zuko finished counting the ceiling tiles, yet again.
"Sixty-one?" Jeong Jeong's voice startled him. "That sounds about right. Give me 61 fire squats and stat!"
"What?"
"Do you have beetle worms stuck in your ears? I said fire squats, now!"
"OK, OK, but why 61?" Zuko did a few stretches before assuming the proper stance.
"You want to do 71? Or how about 101?" Jeong Jeong's facial expressions looked about as wild as his hair.
"N-n-no. But what's with all the random odd numbers?"
"Not random! And not odd… they are prime numbers. There's a difference." His face settled. His hair didn't.
Zuko started the exercises. He knew the lecture would resume, and he might as well do something to help pass the time.
Jeong Jeong continued, "Prime numbers are numbers that cannot be divided by anything but one and itself. They are considered to be powerful numbers because they are supposedly indivisible. However, do not be fooled, because they can be undone by themselves. Even the strongest of men, after conquering all others, must one day face the enemy within."
Zuko wondered if all old people had some secret club where they sat around and came up with cryptic proverbs. Then he remembered that they actually did, the Order of the White Lotus. Uncle!
"Master Jeong Jeong, have you seen my uncle?" Zuko asked in between squats and labored breaths. He had completely lost count. It felt good to be out of bed and moving, though.
"There were some pressing matters back on Ember Island, I believe," Jeong Jeong replied. "What number are you on?"
"Uhhhh, 43?" Zuko answered sheepishly.
"Very well, you can stop. But only because that also happens to be a prime number. It's time to do a healing session."
Zuko thought about telling him about the number of ceiling tiles, but he feared he would get some lengthy lecture about the philosophy of building structure. However, as he thought about it more, the prime number thing started to bother him after a while.
"Master, how do you keep from becoming your own enemy?" he asked in full expectation of the forthcoming explanation in great length. He decided that this time, he didn't mind so much.
"You must stay centered," Jeong Jeong answered simply.
That's it? "Um, ok, but what does that mean?"
"It means that everything in your body is properly aligned and all your chi pathways are open and clear so that positive energy can flow through you."
Oh. "So… how do you do that?"
"Well, for benders, it starts with their element. Tell me, Fire Lord Zuko, how is your firebending these days?"
"Fine, I guess?"
"Have you been training?"
"No."
"Meditating."
"Not really."
"Hmmmm."
Zuko felt a tingling sensation in his fingers and flexed them. "Oh! Did you see that!? I can move my fingers!"
Jeong Jeong appeared unmoved by this development and continued the electrotherapy treatment without skipping a beat.
"Will you… teach me?" The words were out of his mouth before Zuko even realized he'd said them.
"If you truly wish to become centered, then yes. I do not teach combat firebending."
"I d-d-do. I'm tired of fighting. I want to learn control."
"No!" Jeong Jeong said forcefully. "It is NOT about control. It is about release. It is about letting go."
There's that notion again. Let it go. Now firebending lessons were starting to sound like therapy sessions. Zuko clinched his fists, and this time, he could feel both of them.
Sometime later Katara came in with an unexpected visitor.
"Hello, S-s-sir Hakoda, sir. What are you doing here?" Zuko tried to push himself into a more upright position in the bed. Even though he now had feeling in his arm, he didn't quite have full use of it, yet.
"Visiting you, of course." The chief laughed. Katara smiled. Zuko decided that such sights and sounds could cheer him up any day. His state of bliss was short-lived, however.
"I thought you would have gone back to the South Pole by now." Zuko returned Katara's smile before meeting Hakoda's ice-blue eyes.
"I was planning to. I traveled here with Bato for the Solstice Festival, and there was… an issue… with his girlfriend, Ming." Hakoda frowned as he spoke.
Azula's guard. Oh no, what has my sister done? "What is it? Is everyone OK?" Zuko cringed at Katara's downcast expression. Her eyes were more like the sea, an ebb and flow of emotion, unlike the piercing quality of Hakoda's that could freeze you and melt you all at the same time.
"She's fine now," the tribesman continued. "Satoru just gave her a big scare. And Bato, well, he responded as you might expect. He's… better. Now that Katara helped with the healing."
"What in Agni's name happened?"
"Zuko—" Katara spoke softly with a slight tremble in her voice. "Satoru went on a tirade after the festival. It sounds like he wanted to rid the palace grounds of anyone with… impurities. He gave Ty Lee's family a fright. I don't think her grandfather will ever trust us again. He threatened Dr. Jung. He told Arik's family to leave and never come back. And he was especially cross with Ming, saying that fraternizing with barbarians was the worst offense of all."
"What!? Where is he now? I'll kill him!" Zuko felt a tremor shoot through his injured arm. He then realized this was the result of him trying to firebend.
"He's contained," Hakoda said calmly. "Bato got him pretty good. But Bato is in a heap of trouble for attacking a Fire Sage. I should get him home as soon as possible. To cool off a bit before there's a trial."
"A trial? No need, I'll figure something out. I'll take it to the council." Zuko imagined himself waving his hand to illustrate his point if only his hand would cooperate. Katara happened to be holding his other hand. He gave her an assuring squeeze.
"You forget that Satoru sits on your council. Zuko, listen, don't worry about Bato. If you're going to do any legal workarounds, you need to figure out how to get rid of him. He is a threat to you, a danger to the Fire Nation, and a destroyer of peace among the world." Hakoda's words hung in the air with a sense of foreboding.
"I can't. I've tried, but Fire Sages are like chosen by Agni or some shit like that. He says all these horrible things about Katara, and I've searched high and low for something I can do about it."
"If you ever want to marry Katara, then he has to go. The things he said to Ming..."
Zuko then saw he was speaking to the leader of the pack, the protector of his family. Hakoda was concerned about what happened to Ming, but he was also making it clear to Zuko that he simply wouldn't stand for the same thing to happen to his daughter. "Spirits, I know. I'm doing everything I can. If only there was a precedent…"
"Zuko, have you ever heard of the 61-Day Siege of the South?" Hakoda folded his arms across his chest and leaned back in his chair.
"I…I've heard the Fire Nation version. But I'm sure the Water Tribe version is different."
"The Water Tribes tell it like a legend, but I've often wondered if there was some truth to it. Of course, the brutal facts are that after Sozin wiped out the Air Nomads, he turned on the Water Tribe, presumably for the same reason, to kill off the next Avatar. The battle lasted for 61 days, but the way it ended was—"
"Is this the legend of Smoke on the Water?" Katara interrupted.
"Hmm, yes. Smoke on the Water, Fire in the Sky," Hakoda confirmed.
Zuko looked back and forth between the two southerners, confused. Fire in the Sky? Sozin's Comet?
Katara shrugged. "Gran Gran would always cover our ears. We never got to hear the full story. I figured it was pretty bloody... or something."
Hakoda cleared his throat. "The story says that a Water Tribe woman ended the siege by… warming Sozin's bed, promising him that she would bear the next Avatar. He took her back to the Fire Nation along with all his troops. It was rumored that she did bear him a son later that year, but when the Fire Sages revealed that he was not the Avatar, Sozin went into a blind rage and killed the woman by fire. Now, whenever we see 'smoke on the water,' the morning mist rising above a stream or a low-setting fog on a wintry day, we think of the sacrifice she made to save her tribe."
Katara shuddered. Zuko simply sat there gaping.
"What do they say happened in the Fire Nation?" Hakoda asked.
Not that. "Um, that we laid siege in the South until Sozin discovered the Avatar's whereabouts were elsewhere, so he ordered the troops to retreat. It is known that he spent the remainder of his life searching for the Avatar, though."
"Zuko, you don't think that maybe… your grandfather…" Katara looked at him with both eyebrows raised.
"No way. It would be unheard of."
"Unheard of? A Fire Lord fancying a Water Tribe woman?" Katara smirked.
Hakoda rolled his eyes. "No one would hear of it because it would be kept a secret here in the Fire Nation. Is there any way you could find out if it's true, Zuko?"
"I… I don't know. But even if I did, this doesn't help our situation. The Fire Sages would have frowned on it then just as they frown on it now. That's not the kind of precedent I meant, I—"
"Ugh, Zuko, can't you just make a royal decree or something?" Katara raised her hands in resignation.
"I can… with the approval of the council."
"Override the council. You're the Fire Lord. You make the rules."
"NO! My father ruled like that! And I won't do it. I created the council to keep things—to keep me in check. The responsibility of rule should not fall to one person especially if that person could—" Go fucking mad.
"OK, OK, we're going about this the wrong way," Hakoda interjected. "The High Sage sits on your council, right?"
Zuko nodded.
"But the other Fire Sages do not," Hakoda continued.
"Correct."
"Is there a way to promote a new High Sage? Satoru can still be Fire Sage if you truly can't get rid of him, but find a way to demote him somehow. And put someone new on your council."
"I… hadn't thought of that. Maybe the rest of the council could propose it… or something. I'll have to ask Uncle when he gets back from Ember Island."
Hakoda and Katara shared concerned glances at this.
"What? Is he OK?" Zuko felt his pulse quicken.
"I'm sure he's fine, Zuko," Katara said. "But he's launching an investigation into our… um… incident.. with the zipline."
Zuko thought for sure Hakoda was glaring at him then, and he felt immediately guilty for putting the man's daughter in danger. He seemed to be striking out on the boyfriend front today. He opened his mouth to apologize, to grovel, but Katara spoke instead.
"So, Zuko, do you think you might be part Water Tribe?"
Dr. Yang had explained that the effects of the snake venom plus the electrotherapy treatment would be taxing on his body. They were keeping him in the hospital "for observation," since that was the doctor's favorite phrase, but also for enforced bedrest. Everyone knew that the Fire Lord would resume his duties in full vigor if and when he was released. After the confusing conversation with Hakoda and Katara, Zuko slept for what felt like hours.
Piandao brought him lunch… along with some parchment, paints, and a paintbrush.
"What's this for?" Zuko asked as he dove into his food. All that healing worked up an appetite, apparently.
"Art therapy," Piandao replied.
Zuko groaned. He never liked art class in school. He'd rather be sparring or studying history or better yet, warfare. Like every indoctrinated Fire Nation schoolboy, he realized. He didn't know if the history stories he'd learned were even true. Did Sozin really…?
"It will help you regain your fine motor strength," Piandao explained. "And express yourself."
"I don't need to express myself. I need to get the hell out of this hospital," Zuko snapped.
"Well, then this will help pass the time and make it go by more quickly."
Zuko knew how insistent the swordmaster could be. He would not win this argument. But he didn't really know how or what to paint. Piandao was such a gifted artist, it just came naturally to him. He then remembered something.
"Oh, hey, thanks for the paintings you did for my birthday, by the way," Zuko said softly, feeling a little guilty about his earlier response.
"You're welcome. I enjoyed painting them. Maybe you should find a hobby. All work and no play makes for a very one dimensional Fire Lord."
Zuko wondered if his father had any hobbies besides ruthless killing. He maintained a nice liquor collection. He didn't remember much about his grandfather except that he always stayed walled up behind that pillar of flames. And his great-grandfather liked Water Tribe women, who knew? Was that even true? Suddenly a thought struck him.
"Piandao, did you do any of the tapestries of the Fire Lords that hang in the great hallway?"
"I did not. I would be honored to do yours if that's what you're asking."
"Oh. I wasn't. Um… sure, I guess. Someday… rrrrrright." Zuko had honestly never given it much thought. Or maybe he did once upon a time… before he knew his portrait would be marred by a scar.
It was almost as if Piandao read his mind, "We can leave it off, if you'd like. It doesn't have to be—it won't be your legacy."
"No, well, I was thinking about past Fire Lords and history and stuff. Like if I had a hobby, would it be on there? The daos perhaps… or whatever. And what does my dad's have on there. I don't really remember."
"I don't, either. Perhaps you should go take a look if you're curious."
"Really? But Dr. Yang said—"
"Well, you should come back sooner rather than later, of course. But a little walk around the palace won't hurt."
Zuko was surprised that his legs felt sore from the fire squats. Had he really gotten that much out of shape? Perhaps his new hobby should be exercising. He was also surprised by how long it took him to find the hallway with the tapestries. Since he had moved the advisory council meetings, he hardly ever went to this part of the palace anymore. But perhaps the most surprising thing of all was the person he found there.
"Mom? What are you doing here?"
Ursa jumped. "Oh! Zuko, you startled me!"
"Sorry. But seriously. Are you OK?" He noticed she looked a bit flushed. She was standing in front of his father's portrait. Spirits, she doesn't miss him, does she?
"I… I don't know."
He was then able to better discern the redness in her face—fear.
"Mom, you shouldn't be here. Not if it brings up bad memories." He reached for her hand and started to pull her away, but she resisted.
"I just need… closure," she whispered.
"And you're going to get that from staring at his picture?" Zuko kept a firm grip on her hand. His fingertips still tingled, but he had nearly full use of his arm now.
"No, I'm trying to decide…"
No. You can't… Zuko dreaded what she might say next.
"…to decide if I should go see him… or not."
"Um, NOT. That's the worse idea ever! Don't Mom, just don't!"
"But Zuko—"
"What do you think that could possibly accomplish? Whatever… bad feelings you have now… he'll just make you feel worse. It won't make you feel better, trust me."
"Maybe I just need to see for myself. That he's miserable and got what he deserved. Maybe I want to tell him that I'm happy now without him and that you're happy—"
"NO! Don't EVEN talk to him about me. If you want to go wallowing back to your pathetic excuse for a husband, then FINE, but leave me out of it!" Zuko turned on his heel and started to storm off, completely forgetting the reason he came in the first place.
"Zuko, wait!" She ran to catch up with him. "Maybe you're right. Maybe it's crazy, I don't know. He doesn't even know I'm here. It's stupid, really. He and I, we had a deal. I told him I wouldn't come back unless… and now I'm here, and I just wanted him to know that I kept my word even though he didn't!"
Zuko stopped but knew he would regret it. He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This… promise. It has to do with me, doesn't it?"
"Y-y-yes… but you're right, I should just leave you out of this. Agni, if only you didn't have to get caught up in the middle of this in this first place…" Ursa started pacing frantically.
Zuko grabbed her shoulders. "M-mom. I don't know what you need to do that is right for you, s-s-so I won't stop you if you need to go. But for me, going to see him just caused more pain. I—" Dammit, stupid tears. "I can't bear the thought of him hurting you again, too."
Ursa then crumpled into a mess of tears and meaningless gestures. Zuko pulled her into a hug, and as he held her shuddering frame, he managed two conflicting thoughts at the same time: I can do this, I can be there for her; and Agni, I have no clue what to do.
A voice echoed through the hallways, and they tore apart as Aang approached them.
"There you are!" he panted. "Zuko, we have to go. Quick! Something has happened to your uncle on Ember Island. Come on, we can take Appa!"
Ursa's eyes widened, then she nodded. Zuko squeezed her hand before taking off running down the palace corridor with Aang. When he glanced back at her, she had resumed her position in front of Ozai's portrait, still staring numbly at it. In that moment, he knew that she would go to him anyway.
Katara, Suki, Sokka, and Toph met them at the stable yard where they frantically prepared for their journey. Zuko kept trying to find out what happened, but the best answer he got was "there has been an accident." When he asked, "how bad" or "will he make it" he felt like his friends were avoiding eye contact.
Just as they were about to take off, Katara shrieked, "Wait! I forgot something."
The tingling sensation in Zuko's arm had intensified throughout the whole ordeal. Perhaps it was from the stress or maybe the fatigue that Dr. Yang had warned him about. When Katara climbed back up on Appa, they settled down in the saddle together, and he leaned into her. When he reached for her hand, he found that her fist was clinched around a small bottle of clear shimmery liquid.
The spirit water.