Lieutenant Jee had been chosen as Advisor to the Fire Lord expressly for his ability to tell the young leader the harsh truth to his face. Zuko knew that the nobles in the fire court would always pander to him, and even his uncle's advice came with a protective spin to it. No, Advisor Jee would never sugar coat anything, and for the most part, Zuko appreciated this. Mostly.

Recently, however, Jee would tell him things like, "Fire Lord, you look like shit," and "If you're that tired, why did you even bother coming to the meeting?" Zuko had to draw the line at, "The dark circles under your eyes make your scar look as fresh as the pink skin of a baby's ass." Jee had been temporarily dismissed from the council after that comment. The sleep-deprived Fire Lord's patience grew thinner on all accounts as the days passed in a blur of busyness sandwiched in between terror-filled nights.

While Jee had a knack for pressing Zuko's buttons, he was also adept at controlling other flaring tempers on the council. Perhaps it was his military training that had hardened him or his long days at sea that had toughened him, but the lieutenant could take and dish out anything, it seemed. When Zuko asked—or rather, forced him to leave the council that morning, Jee set about another important task. He took the initiative to inform Satoru of the decision to replace him with Shyu as High Sage. He was accustomed to dealing with the man's outbursts anyway.

If the Fire Sage's jaw hadn't been broken, he might have responded with more than a grunt. If his arm wasn't broken, too, then he might have threatened Jee with fire. And if the Water Tribesman hadn't kept kicking him when he was down, effectively breaking several of his ribs, then Satoru might have reacted more harshly to the news. Jee had to admit that he was impressed with Bato and the beating he'd administered in defense of his girlfriend, Ming. Then again, Bato was a man of war, too. Jee just couldn't remember what it felt like to fight for a cause with such passion.

Katara wasn't sure why but she started to feel bad for Satoru. In truth, healing bones was very difficult work, but she could probably manage the smaller ones spread out over several sessions. She'd save the jaw for last in case he felt compelled to say anything to her, of course. Dr. Yang relented, saying that ribs take a long time to heal on their own and run the risk of puncturing the lungs and other surrounding soft tissue. Katara suspected that maybe Dr. Yang was tired of having him as a patient.

He'd glare at her while she healed him, and she wondered if he would ever change. It took four days to repair his ribs which afforded him some mobility. The arm would prove more laborious, and she dreaded working on his jaw. She was actually concerned he might try to bite her. However, it didn't matter, because Satoru left the hospital on his own volition, and no one, not even the other Fire Sages, knew where he had gone. Zuko and Katara both agreed that this did not bode well. They feared it would only be a matter of time before he showed up again… a likely with a vengeance.

But Zuko couldn't dwell on that fear. Not when fear consumed him every night. Not when so much work demanded his attention during the day. The work load alone must be what made his ancestors go mad, he figured. His uncle promised he would return within a week, but Zuko thought he might lose his mind before then. At least Iroh had managed to appease Arik's parents after Satoru had chased them off and would be bringing the boy back with him. Meanwhile, Zuko just needed someone to help him keep his schedule straight. Like an assistant. Then a very opportunistic conversation happened.

"Zu—I mean, Fire Lord Zuko, I'm sorry, I know you're busy, but…" Jin poked her head inside his office door just in time to catch him nodding off in between meetings.

Or I think I have meetings? Hell, I don't know any more. "No, no bother. What's up, Jin?"

"Well, I was wondering… do you have anything for me to do? Or well, I mean, that you need someone to do. Again, I don't want to be a bother. You don't have to find something for me to do. I can do that for myself. I just want to help. I can make tea or cook or whatever. I can earn my keep. I don't want to be a freeloader or anything." She blushed when she realized she was babbling.

"I could use a kick ass cup of tea right now," Zuko admitted. Some of that stuff Dr. Jung brews. When is my next session with him anyway?

Then it hit him. "No, actually. I could use someone to help me keep my shit together."

"Umm?" Jin looked at him questioningly and started chewing on her bottom lip.

"Like someone to keep track of my schedule. And dictate letters. And take notes. And yes, go get tea. Like an administrative assistant," he explained.

"Umm."

"I'm sorry. You're right. You probably don't want to—"

"I'd be honored Zu—uhh, sir," Jin replied.

"Please, call me Zuko."

She laughed.

"What's so funny?"

"I'll try, but honestly every time I look at you, the first thing I think of is 'Lee.'"

Zuko groaned.

"What? Lee was nice." Jin smiled and shrugged.

"Lee wasn't me."

"Of course he was, silly. And you're nice, too. Although you look a bit… tired. Are you OK?"

Zuko groaned again and handed her some parchment and a quill. He'd start by giving her his daily schedule and go from there. As he spoke, he began to relax. He knew he could trust her, and that was a good feeling. She dutifully wrote down everything he said and then stepped right into her roll with, "OK, in ten minutes you have a meeting with Fire Sage Shyu to go over his appointment ceremony to High Sage."

"Zuko..." Jin nudged the sleeping Fire Lord.

He stirred to find himself in the council meeting room again. He had fallen asleep here too many times, he decided. Today he would ask Dr. Yang for sun poppy tea to help him sleep at night. This was beyond ridiculous.

"You have a session with Dr. Jung," Jin informed him.

If only Dr. Jung would give me some of that energy-enhancing tea he's got… Zuko headed for the royal hospital hoping more for answers rather than tea remedies anyway.

The next thing he knew, Zuko awoke to find himself on the floor of the Agni Kai arena. At first he felt certain he was dreaming. This was the setting for most of his nightmares, after all. But when he realized certain key elements were missing, he tried to piece the rest together. How did I get here? Surely I haven't gone this far in acting them out…

No, he remembered. He had been in a session with Dr. Jung. They did talk about him acting out his dreams, about the time he nearly hit Katara, but it wasn't so much what he was doing, but rather who he was… at this recollection, he let out a scream that echoed throughout the arena. The rawness he felt in his throat reminded him that he'd already spent a fair bit of time screaming before he fell asleep.

He then heard a shuffle and a scuff in the distance… he was not alone.

"Who's there?" Zuko pushed himself to his feet.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, Fire Lord," a gruff voice responded from the darkness. "But I saw the door was open. We haven't used the arena is some time, so…"

Zuko could just barely make out the weathered face of a man he recognized, but couldn't quite place. "Well, I'm using it right now. So can you please leave me be?"

"I would, sir, but… something seems to be bothering you. And I think—"

"Bothering me? What makes you think something is bothering me? No. Nothing is bothering me. Nothing at all," Zuko said in a mocking tone.

When the old man sighed, dust particles danced through the air, as if death and decay came alive through his very breath. "There's something I need to tell you, Fire Lord Zuko. I'm ashamed that I've waited this long. But hearing your anguish is…" He gulped. "No one should have to bear such burdens. And I don't offer relief, only some answers, if you'll hear me out." He then moved into the small patch of light that trickled in from the windows.

Zuko squinted at him. "You're the… gardener?"

"I am now. But I used to be something else. And after today, I think I should resign from my service to the royal family."

"Umm, okay."

"Would you mind if we took a walk in the gardens? I much prefer the fresh air there."

"Sure?" Zuko felt like a mystery was about to unravel, and the sensation of mere curiosity had overtaken him. He had momentarily forgotten what secrets in the Fire Nation usually entailed. Once they were outside, and the older man had set a comfortable pace down flower-lined pathways, the gardener began his tale.

"When your uncle and your blind friend were interviewing the staff here to determine our loyalties at the beginning of your reign, I truly felt remorse for what I had done in your father's service and requested a simple, modest job. I had nowhere else to go, you see. That's how I got my despicable position in the first place. No one knew me, no one would miss me, and no one would ever want to see me again.

I served as your father's personal spy. At first this mean odd jobs, albeit terrible ones, but those are insignificant now. When your mother left, however, it became my sole purpose to follow her and report back to him. So, I knew she was in Ba Sing Se working with a doctor, and this was relatively uninteresting information until…

I saw them together one night. She had been emotionally distraught, and he was comforting her, and well, they were good for each other, in all honesty. But this was not what I reported back to your father, of course. He only saw the affair, the act of betrayal, and as you can imagine, he was livid. He told me to go back and kill the doctor and bring your mother home.

When I went back, she had apparently left and was nowhere to be found. The doctor was working with the Dai Li which I knew to be as good as a death sentence anyhow, so I let him be and went searching for her. Meanwhile, your father's form of retaliation was to take a mistress. I only met the unfortunate girl once. She, like you, was just another innocent caught up in this terrible game of his. He had this insatiable need for ultimate control and felt compelled to exploit someone new when he thought he was losing it.

When I finally found your mother through a lead given by a wealthy Fire Nation merchant who had been doing business with a family in the Earth Kingdom, she seemed settled and happy. I should have just let her be, but he pressed me relentlessly for a report, so I finally told him information I thought to be harmless. She was serving as a nanny and teaching bending lessons. No drama. No threat. And no love interest.

His reaction was shockingly worse. He said how could she love another child when she'd abandoned her own? He said she had broken her promise and now she would pay. I had no idea what this meant. I was also confused because I thought he had been the one to send her away in the first place. It seemed that what he meant was that you were to pay by the way he stormed off to your room that night…

He then told me he had a plan to lure her back, and it was my job to make sure she knew about it. I was to be positioned in Gaoling and wait. I asked him how I would know about it, and he said that everyone would know.

He used you as bait, Fire Lord Zuko. It had to be public, it had to be painful, and it had to be her son, he said. Then she would know that he meant business. And she would never betray him or the royal family ever again. I wasn't here on the day of the Agni Kai. I had no idea what he was planning, but he was waiting for you to slip up, even if it was in the slightest way. You walked right into a trap that day. Into the middle of something that had absolutely nothing to do with you.

Afterward, I followed your mother to Ba Sing Se. Back to the doctor. I had orders that if anything went awry to just bring her back to the Fire Nation anyway. Well, things went to bloody hell, that's what. The fucking doctor erased her memories. This would not do. Ozai needed her to know who she was, what he did, and why. That was the whole point of why he did it. I thought I was screwed.

The Dai Li solved that problem for me. They took your mother from the doctor. I could have warned him they were corrupt. She became a sort of brainwashed prototype, a Joo Dee, or something like that. By the time I made it back to the Fire Nation, you were just a few days away from being released from the hospital.

With his plan thwarted and all that nonsense about you losing your honor, he had to keep up appearances. He had counted on Ursa coming back to intervene. Spirits only know what he would have done to her or you then, but with her out of the picture, he had to contend with what he had done to you. So, he banished you and sent you on some ridiculous quest to find the Avatar. Because you represented his failure, and he simply could not bear to lose control.

I am telling you all these terrible things for two reasons, Fire Lord Zuko. One, you have to know that it has absolutely nothing to do with you. At age thirteen, you had more honor than your father could ever hope to have, and it pains me to see that to this day, he still seems to have control over you. He went to great lengths to gain his power, but he does not deserve any of it. He certainly doesn't deserve the right to have any power over you.

Two. The doctor. He cannot be trusted. I don't know how much your mother remembers, but surely she doesn't because she would have told you, and therefore he wouldn't still be here. And if you think the doctor can help you… well, I won't go as far as to say that he was a cause, but he was certainly a catalyst in your suffering.

I hope you will forgive me for not telling you sooner. I do not ask for forgiveness for the part I played because I know it is unforgivable. Even though I was just a messenger, I could have lied. I could have protected you and your mother. I was a lesser man then, and I will always have to live with the regret and pain of what I did. I will take my leave now, Fire Lord Zuko. I won't be seeing you again, but if circumstances were different, I would gladly do your bidding. You are a great leader, and the future of the Fire Nation is in very honorable and capable hands."

If it was mere curiosity that drew Zuko in, then it was outright terror that kept him there. He didn't say anything throughout the man's story, but when he finally shook himself out his horrified stupor, the gardener had already disappeared. Zuko's mind whirred with thoughts, his blood boiled with anger, his limbs shook in fear. There was only one place he could think of to go.

Dr. Jung's office.

A/N: Before Zuko ends up in the Agni Kai arena, he has a session with Dr. Jung which is detailed in The Doctor Is In, Chapter 9: Session 6. If you don't want to skip over, the gist is that the doctor points out that Zuko roleplays his father in his dreams. Zuko probably made this connection on his own a while back but doesn't want to admit it. So, the dreams are tied to his intrinsic fear of becoming like his father. They intensified when he became Fire Lord and can be triggered by any memory of his abusive past. Almost losing his uncle and the harsh words of Takeo coupled with his attempts at therapeutic recovery are what caused the most recent onslaught of nightmares.

So, that's Zuko's problem. It looks pretty dire right now, but he'll get better. Now, on to the problem of Ozai. He's been one of those behind-the-scenes characters that I've wanted to deal with for a long time mainly because he affects two of my main characters' development in such a huge way. Sorry if the gardener's tale was a bit long, but someone had to reveal the truth to Zuko. How about the spy-turned-playwright-turned-gardener? Katara knew when he was quoting proverbs at the parade that something was off about the guy.

So, if Ozai were simply a narcissist, then he would believe that his family members exist to boost his self-importance. It might make sense that he would command Zuko to stand and fight for his honor during the Agni Kai—because he wouldn't want his kid to make him look bad—but it doesn't entirely make sense why he would challenge him to the fight in the first place. The narcissist would be like, let the kid fight the general, I have more important things to do. I think the show presents Ozai as just this really bad guy who does really bad stuff because he's really bad. But it's more calculated than that. There's a method to the man's madness. So the wheels in my head canon started spinning.

Now, if Ozai had a narcissistic personality disorder, then it wouldn't just be about self-importance. It would be about ultimate control. Um, hello? Phoenix King? So with Ursa, Ozai comes the closest to losing control, and he simply can't have that. He has to bargain with her, and in his mind, he bargains with no one. (I reference their promises to each other in both Darkness Before Dawn and Deal Breakers). She made the poison and essentially secured his crown for him, so a part of him knows he's indebted to her for that. It drives him crazy. And when she leaves the Fire Nation, it further represents a loss of control to him, since she had always been there for him to command and leverage.

Burning Passion gives further insight into the Ozai-Ursa relationship. It's pretty dark, but it gives a frame of reference for what Ursa is dealing with right now. And more info about Fire Nation family dynamics that shape both Iroh and Ozai will be revealed later in Rising Tide, so stay tuned! But for now, Zuko must absorb this new info that the Agni Kai was truly not about him, and he must decide what to do about Dr. Jung.