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Cicely looked sat up on the Captain's bed, wiping her face. Almost the whole day had passed since Aubrey had imprisoned her in the best luxury he had, and she looked again at the décor.
Beautiful ivory coloured ceilings, blue curtains framing the small window with a view of the stern. Mahogany detail on an oak backing. Gilt-framed pictures and mirror. A picture of modern times, so like her father's home in Gloucester.
She swung her legs from the eiderdown and meandered slowly towards the window. It was typical of Aubrey, Cicely thought, looking at the richness of his quarters and comparing it to the rest of the ship: kept modern and fresh to deliberately contrast with his men. To indicate rank and privilege, rather than for a want of a certain thing.
There was a ship on the horizon now; she could just see its sheets and foresail as it crossed the picture as if it were a two-dimensional painting. She glanced away and caught her own reflection in the Louis XVI-style mirror and wiped away another tear.
Oh Edward, she though, if you could only see me: my poor ragged faded hair since I cut it short in a hurry. My face lined and brown. It was you who valued my looks, not I. You who would dress my hair in the latest fashions when mother was gone. You so loved making me look beautiful.
Cicely stared at her reflection again, trying to curl the uneven strands of her hair that were growing at the back, wiping tears from her face as she went.
At least Aubrey had been generous: he had sent in men through the supervision of Lieutenant Pullings to provide her with hot water to bathe before returning an hour later to remove the copper and bring clean sailor's clothes.
But she couldn't look at it like that, no matter how hard she tried: the men had been serving her! Yesterday she had been on the deck with them, working with them, equalling if not rivalling through effort many of them. Yet now, as a woman, she was being treated like this!
Just then, a cursory knock came at the cabin door before it was opened by Pullings. Doffing his hat, the lieutenant strode in, before stopping and saluting.
"Can I leave now?" said Cicely quickly, towards the lieutenant. Pullings paused momentarily before shaking his head.
"If I may speak frankly Miss Hollum, I do not believe what you have done had been entirely fair on the captain." She looked at him in astonishment.
"He must fight a stronger warship without notice, and through his consideration for you, men must be left behind to ensure your safety. You have through your actions placed us at a significant disadvantage."
Cicely turned to look at the man. Her own age, she thought, by the looks of him, and seen action by the scar on his cheek. Born into the world the gender of advantage: a man. She narrowed her eyes before sinking down onto a stool near the bed, holding her head in her hands.
"So I'm not allowed to see anyone?" He shook his head.
"Not even James?" she persisted angrily. "I climbed the rigging to save his life, Mr Pullings, I'm his pair aboard this ship, I'm his friend!"
"Was his pair," said Pullings, his tone slightly less stern as it had been. "Now the captain is aware of what you are the offer of work as a mizzenlad is now void, as was any promise attached to it. He is compelled to return you to England, back to your father." Pullings sat on the next chair down to Cicely. "It's for respectability; for his men. He has to be seen to do the right thing."
"I cannot redeem my brother's soul unless I fight here. The sin he committed…" she turned to the lieutenant. "He will not find peace in heaven unless I clear his name."
"I'm truly sorry for your situation, Miss Hollum. The Captain wishes your virtue to remain safe until you are delivered into your father's care." He considered the look on her face. "Would you have preferred he left you to fate aboard, unchecked? He takes his duty of care seriously and will not change his mind; the men respect him for his ways," he added.
Pullings got to his feet as Cicely's heart sank as her future became a bright spot of light diminishing slowly as time progressed.
"I'm here on guard. You are safe; no-one can enter, Miss Hollum." Pullings saluted, before closing the door behind him.
And turned to find William Blakeney behind him.
"Is Cicely well?" the midshipman asked excitedly. Pullings bent to his level.
"She appears fine, Will," said Pullings carefully, tapping the boy on the shoulder comfortingly. "But I still can't let you in, you know what the Captain's orders are."
Deflated, Blakeney turned from the cabin door and walked back onto the quarterdeck, and along the planks. Most of the men were working quietly, and as his watch was over he made his way down to the doctor's cabin.
Knocking, he hopped from one foot to another, waiting for a reply before slowly pushing open the door. Maturin looked up, his magnifying monocle, an invention of his own making to aid his work glinting off the candlelight.
"And how are you, Sir?" he said, looking at the half-dissected lizard on the oak table. "Have you found out anything interesting?"
"Ah, Mr. Blakeney," he replied. "Do come in." He glanced down at his latest surgical investigation. "I have indeed found that the joints in this particular species are bound together by a bimuscular system, allowing it to vary its pace and direction more easily and precisely than others of its genus." He pointed towards a tendon in the creature's leg, moving it with the handle of his scalpel to show the advantageous movement.
"Yes, sir," said Blakeney, looking down. "You know it's not fair!" he added, with a huff. "I know the Captain wants to keep Cicely safe, but he could at least let me see her." He looked at the doctor, whose eyes were on him. "She told me first, you know."
Stephen put down his scalpel and removed the straps from his magnifying glass and replacing them with his spectacles before looking at the lad.
"You have known Captain Aubrey far longer than I, Mr. Blakeney; have you ever known him to be anything other than proper?" The boy shook his head, and then looked back at the doctor.
"But she's going to go back to an awful life; her father's going to make her marry some dreadful man, and she can mizzen, " he added brighty, "and…" he swallowed, looking at the doctor mournfully, "I won't ever see her again!"
Stephen got to his feet, gesturing towards his chair and holding his monocle. Blakeney's eyes perked up at the offer of naturalistic delights, but then shook his head.
"May I ask why you are so concerned with Miss Hollum?" Maturin sat back down and looked at Will.
"When you were ill, sir…you had a fever. I came to look after you, but Cicely was looking after you…Miss Hollum. And I heard her tell you…I heard her say…"
"Yes?" Maturin looked over his spectacles
"…kind things to you as she looked after you." Will swallowed uncertainly. "Then I remembered Mr. Hollum's letters, when he read out to us about her. I know her from his letters sir, so well! Her eyes are the same…her face as beautiful. He kept saying how sad he was to lose her to himself sir, but told me before he died how he would be with his lovely sister now!"
The doctor patted the boy on the shoulder tenderly. He had been through much at his tender age; in addition to his rough life. A twinge of pain flicked in his lower abdomen and another thought struck…images of his feverous hallucinations…
"I just wish there was something we could do," he added quietly, looking at the table leg. The doctor raised Will's chin so he was looking him in the eye.
"It is strange you should mention that, Mr Blakeney for I was speaking to the Captain on such a subject this morning. He believes that should Miss Hollum be married when the Acheron attacks he would allow her to fight, under the circumstances and should her husband permit it. It would be respectable, and indeed a necessity." Maturin sat back down and looked at the lizard, moving back its intestine carefully and peering hard at its gall bladder.
"What do you mean, sir?" Blakeney questioned, eyes shining in anticipation. The doctor smiled a little.
"I have asked Captain Aubrey to perform the marriage service tomorrow, then Miss Hollum can fight as she wishes." There was a pause as the young midshipman worked it out.
"So…can I have your permission to see Cicely? Please, sir?" he added, excitedly, looking at the creature on the desk.
"Well, , she hadn't actually said yes, yet," the naturalist replied, replacing his monocle for his spectacles and peering again at the lurid green flesh.
Blakeney crossed Maturin's cabin and retrieved his small sketchbook. He looked at the lizard, its innards discolouring, and took the stubby pencil Maturin was holding out for him, before glancing up at the man.
"She will, sir," said the boy happily, examining the small but perfectly formed guts of the reptile. "I know she will."
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Jack Aubrey nodded as Pullings saluted before pushing open the door to his cabin, then promptly shut it again. He exhaled chiding himself for the unease he was feeling; a foolish notion when he had fought against the best that old Boney had to throw at him.
However the consequence of this action today would colour the perception his crew had of him, and despite their cheers at his concession when he spoke to them that morning he knew that many of them would still hold reservations about his judgment. Swallowing, he pushed down the handle of the door.
"Excuse me, Miss Hollum." Aubrey held out a large brown package in her direction, trying to look anywhere but at her clearly unbound form.
"Thank you," said Cicely, taking it and placing it onto the table…and gasped: the gown was exquisitely made from Chinese blue silk. Blue and jet pearls were embroidered on the bodice and, though Cicely was no expert in the world of fashion, Indian lace graced the collar and hem. It would have been very expensive to buy even without the lace and pearls, and Cicely wondered whether this wasn't in fact the most expensive piece of clothing she had ever seen.
"For someone special?" she said absently as she examined the garment carefully.
"For Mrs Aubrey," said Jack, nodding in her direction. "That's if we make it through the next day and night. However I think it would be more appropriate if…" He looked at the dress then at Cicely.
"I couldn't!" interrupted Cicely, holding the beautiful dress before him and looking at him in horror. She realised from his expression that he had interpreted it differently.
"I beg your pardon, Captain Aubrey, but you've bought this for your wife. I cannot wear it, even if I am to be married." Aubrey sighed.
"I insist," he replied calmly, folding his arms. "She has far too many dresses as it is. And besides, I think Miss Hollum, my good friend the doctor favours blue." Cicely felt herself blush a little as she looked at the dress in its exquisite beauty.
"Hm," coughed Aubrey, politely, as Cicely continued to stare at the dress, her eye wandering in awestruck approval at the beautiful silk stitching of butterflies in Puerto Rican indigo. "Do you mind if I ask why?" Cicely looked quickly.
"Because I loved my brother, sir," she said simply. Jack closed his eyes slowly in acknowledgement as she handed him the dress before stepping towards the Chinese screen that lay flat against the wall by the bed and pulling it open to its full width before taking the dress. Cicely stepped behind the screen and, throwing her service clothes over the screen, began to dress.
"I have a question for you, Captain Aubrey," she continued, slipping the dress over her frame before cursing inwardly: why wouldn't it fit?.
"Certainly," replied Jack, reaching towards the second roll of brown paper within the first and retrieved a highly boned corset. "Here," he added, placing it over the screen. Cicely rolled her eyes to herself: of course! For the last eighteenth months she had bound her breasts to make her chest flatter, which had been uncomfortable, but she had almost forgotten about these vestments of torture.
"Why did you not release him from your service? You surely could see he was not cut out for the life." Jack shifted from foot to foot uneasily.
"Frankly, Miss Hollum I could have. But it is not my duty to decide the fate of my men; they choose their own destiny. However I never gave up hope that Edward would develop into a competent midshipman, given the opportunity." Cicely smiled between further inward curses as she struggled to fit the corset. This was the first time she had heard the Captain refer to any of his men by their first name.
"Would you mind actually…" she said eventually, the garment finally defeating her. "This thing…" She felt his hands behind her then the corset tightening round her waist.
"There," he added, before pulling the sleeves of the dress to one side. Cicely put her arms out instinctively and allowed the Captain to dress her.
"You don't have to marry him; he is a Feinian, after all." Cicely gasped as the last bit of breath was squeezed out of her and she felt Aubrey smooth down the back of the dress, pulling in the ribbons at the waist.
"You made your decision, Captain. They are your rules, you agreed to allow me to fight for you should I consent and Mr Maturin was kind enough to help me out of it." And he asked me so politely and reasonably, without fuss she recalled, as Jack finished the hang of the dress by running his hands down the sides of the gown. She turned to face him.
"He's truly a good man, and a credit to you, Captain Aubrey," she finished. Jack looked at her, before taking a few steps back.
"Marriage is a serious business, Miss Hollum; are you sure you can accept one built on expediency?"
"They are your rules, Captain. I must do what I must." She walked across the room towards the mirror, stumbling on her first few steps as the weight of the gown and its restrictive nature compelled her to change her gait.
When she saw her reflection, Cicely swallowed: she couldn't remember the last time she had worn a dress so beautiful, or at least the last one she had worn at all.
"Here," said Jack, appearing behind her in the mirror holding a horse-hair brush and holding it out and Cicely took in her hair: despite having washed it, it was still ragged and unkempt. She turned to Aubrey, a lump forming in her throat.
"Would you be so good as to leave me?" she asked, struggling to hold back emotion. "Just for a few minutes," she added, noticing his surprised expression.
"Certainly," he said, and without ado strode towards the door. Cicely turned towards the mirror again, her eyes filled with salt water as she reached for the brush Aubrey had lain back down on his dressing table.
The tears dripped haphazardly onto the silk as she tidied her badly cropped hair into something presentable, then she replaced the brush and crossed to Aubrey's bed. Carefully, Cicely knelt at its foot, and put her hands together.
"Heavenly God, my brother will be waiting at the door of heaven for you," she said aloud, closing her eyes deferentially. "I pledge my marriage and my fight to his redemption, that he should find peace in your house and forever." She stopped, closing her eyes tighter, and repeating the prayer silently in her mind as she clenched her hands together stubbornly.
"Rob?" Cicely heard a familiar voice behind her and she opened her eyes, turning to see James behind her.
"James!" she said, getting to her feet unsteadily and stumbling slightly. James put out his hand and gripped her under her forearm.
"You look…" he began, frowning as he took in her appearance. Cicely blushed, looking down.
"Wrong," she finished. "After I'm married, and back in my proper clothes, I'll look right." Cicely smiled, but James continued to look worried.
"The Captain spoke to us and told us you was a gel. The men want you back, even Pollock. Pollock said he thought you was the cause of the bad luck, seeing as you were a woman. But then Nagel spoke up for you, and Chell. And Old Joe said 'twas the Admiralty that had put rise to women aboard ships bringin' bad luck as with a bad Captain they were temptation and too costly. But he said we all knew Captain Aubrey wouldn't have proposed it if you was a temptation to us" He looked at Cicely earnestly. "You don't have to marry him, Rob," he finished. Cicely shook her head.
"I have to do it for Edward, Jim," she said patting him on the shoulder and looking at him reassuringly. "It might be right he trusts my being aboard but the Captain has vowed to return me to my father. It could be worse: the Doctor is respectable, Jim. This way, you'll have your pair back. And I'm going to ask him to take me back as a mizzen once we win." James sighed.
"But Rob…Miss Hollum…"
" – Rob – " she corrected gently.
"I've been searching for my father for years. I know what it is to do all you can for those you love..."
"…and you'll find Fotherington soon enough…"
"But…to be in a loveless marriage, Rob, even above battle and glory over the Frogs…that's the bravest thing I've heard of…" James broke off and wiped his face before grabbed her close and thumped her on the back. Cicely smiled at her pair's embrace, but her smile was mostly at his partially erroneous assumption.
Just then, the cabin door opened. Cicely looked over James's shoulder and saw Aubrey smile in their direction. He coughed, and James loosed her and stepped away, saluting the captain as he stepped towards Cicely.
"Fillings," said Jack, turning towards James. "Your midshipman Mr. Blakeney requires your presence across the deck."
"Yessir"
"See to it that you look smart for the ceremony." Cicely looked between him and the Captain and was almost sure she had seen a wink.
"Yessir," said James again, and scuttled through the open door. Jack Aubrey turned and looked at Cicely, smiling at her again.
"You look beautiful, my dear," he said, as he bent his left arm in her direction. "Dr. Maturin will be honoured." Cicely said nothing, but crossed over the oak and took his arm and he led her towards the daylight. Before they crossed the threshold, he turned to her, but Cicely spoke first.
"Please, Captain Aubrey. Do what he has asked you to do. Marry us." Aubrey looked back at Cicely, and nodded before leading her onto the foredeck.
Looking around at the faces of her crewmates, dressed like their Captain in their finest, Cicely realised she had never felt so conspicuous, more than ever in her life: to their left and right stood the salts, all in neat rows saluting their captain as they walked past. Before them, on the quarterdeck stood the midshipmen, Blakeney amongst them, who grinned at her unashamedly when she caught his eye and behind them was Pullings, Mowett and Hogg, and the Royal Marines in their scarlet suits, who saluted as they approached.
Cicely could feel herself begin to shake and realised almost too late that she had to step carefully up the steps to the quarterdeck and, having not compensated for her attire, stumbled slightly.
"Take your time, Miss Hollum," whispered Aubrey, steadying her. Cicely smiled gratefully: such a stickler for rules and hierarchy, she had not given him enough credit for being the gentleman he undoubtedly was.
And now as the railings of the bow came into view her racing heart pounded stronger still. All she had been through to get here: boarding ship after ship to get to South America. Finding the Surprise and John Fotherington aiding her accession. So close to her brother who was gone. Now, marrying before her compatriots, her kin, the ship's wonderful surgeon so Edward's soul could find peace.
"Three cheers for Robert Young," she heard as Captain Aubrey escorted her further. Cicely turned and looked at the crew below, feeling a tinge of humility: there shouldn't be this fuss on her account.
"Hip-hip…"
Cicely looked ahead, the Captain drawing her further still…she looked at the figure before her…at the back of the doctor's dress-coat…
"…Huzzah!"
…he turned…and looked at Cicely Emma Hollum dressed in the most beautiful dress on the high seas…
"Huzzah!"
…the world faded around her as Cicely's nerves steadied...
"Huzzah!"
… as she became lost in those green, glimmering eyes…
"Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!"
