Erica and Krystal took their leave to allow Bianca and Marissa the time to organise their trip. Marissa felt guilty about missing more work, but Krystal reassured her that her family was much more important and that she and Opal were more than capable of coping for a week or so.
Marissa walked Erica and her mother to the door, thanking them for their help while Bianca moved off to the study to make some calls.
…
When Marissa came to find Bianca later, her girlfriend was on the phone checking in with Muriel to organise cover at the Miranda centre.
Marissa stood in the doorway watching her, feeling guilty about all the hardship she had brought on this family. It was her fault that JR was coming after Bianca and her girls.
"Are we running away?" Marissa asked quietly.
Bianca looked up, taking in Marissa's guilt-ridden demeanour.
"We are taking care of our kids. That isn't running away, that is being smart."
Bianca rolled her office chair away from the desk and tapped a space in front of her, signalling for Marissa to come closer.
Marissa took a deep breath and crossed the space to take a perch at the edge of the desk.
Bianca placed her hands on her girlfriend's knees.
"Don't for a second take on any of this. Don't you dare! You love your son and you have only ever wanted what is best for him. JR was the idiot who caused all the pain. All you have ever done is try to protect AJ from it."
"But we have barely had a chance to live in this house and now we are leaving it. We are letting them chase us away. He's already won."
"No, never." said Bianca reassuringly "This is just a house, just walls and windows and a roof. We are a family now, Marissa, that doesn't change no matter where we are. JR cannot stop that, no one can… okay? And they are not chasing us away. We could stay and fight if we really wanted, but why stoop to their level. We are taking care of our kids; we are keeping them safe and happy. They are the only thing that is important."
Marissa sighed, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes.
"But I don't even know why this is happening." sobbed Marissa, turning her eyes up to ceiling as she was no longer able to meet Bianca's gaze. "I don't remember why JR hates me… I don't remember why I hurt him so much… I don't know why he wanted me dead… I don't remember why this is happening..."
Bianca gasped and pulled Marissa closer, pulling her from the desk onto her lap and into her arms. She had no idea her girlfriend was feeling so lost. Marissa had always seemed so confident despite the amnesia and now it was clear how much these gaps in her memory were really worrying her. Without protest, Marissa curled into Bianca's embrace, hanging onto her like a small child.
"Hush." soothed Bianca rocking her girlfriend gently, stroking her back in comforting caresses. "This is not your fault!"
After a beat Marissa sniffed and tried to pull back, but Bianca held her tight and kept rocking her.
"I love you." said Bianca. "AJ loves you. My girls even awarded you with a mug that proclaimed how much they love you."
"I love them… I love you too." said Marissa, her voice muffled by Bianca's shoulder.
"So don't do this to yourself. Please don't let JR hurt you, I don't want to lose you again."
Marissa sat back up; this time Bianca didn't hold her back.
"You would never loose me!" she insisted.
Marissa could see the tear's picking the corners of Bianca's eyes.
"Good." said Bianca. "So talk to me please." Bianca reached out to brush the tears from Marissa's cheek, her thumb lingering as it traced her soft skin. "Any worry, any doubt, any question, please talk to me."
"I want to," said Marissa, guiltily nodding her head. "It's just there are so many holes. I read things in the papers and I can't protest as I have no clue if I did it or not."
"You are a good person Marissa and anyone who says not is a liar. And that is not biased that is the truth." said Bianca, her hand sliding from her cheek to return to rest on Marissa's back. "You and JR had a messy past that is true, but you didn't take AJ out of spite whatever the papers say. JR spent a long time trying to make our life hell and trying to use AJ as a weapon in the fight. You were never the person the papers are hating on… never, ever, ever! Not you…"
Marissa found herself hypnotised by the determination in Bianca's dark brown eyes; she felt her heart race at the sight of the pure devotion she saw there.
"I believe you." she said quietly, suddenly in awe with Bianca all over again. How could anyone be so amazing?
Trying to ground herself Marissa turned to the desk to see Bianca's notebook by the phone.
"So how is it going?" she asked, trying to focus on the mundane.
Bianca raised an eyebrow.
"Are you changing the subject?" she asked sceptically. She looked at Marissa for a long moment before deciding to let it go for now.
"I've spoken to Mrs Wilson at the school," Bianca said, still watching Marissa with concern in her eyes. "She understands that we need to take the kids out of school, but I'm worried as they have already missed so much, luckily I know a good tutor who is available."
"You are going to make the kids take lessons in Disneyland?"
"I know; I'm mean." said Bianca with a smile. "I've also got us a package deal so the flights are booked for Friday and we've reserved rooms at the Disney Hotel for one week; hopefully the worst will be over by then and we will be back in time for the Hello magazine shoot… And before you argue, I want to ask Reggie if he would mind starting his nanny job early and come with us. If Krystal will let her then Camilla and Ayesha could come as well."
"Why do we need Reggie?" Marissa asked.
"I'm not a spry as I was," said Bianca glancing down to her braced left leg. "And you won't be able to keep up with three excited kids on your own." From the mortified expression on Marissa's face Bianca added, "I'm being practical."
"Well why does it have to be Disneyland, we could go anywhere?" asked Marissa, not liking the reminder of Bianca's disability.
"We are distracting them!" she said. "Disney works better than anything else I know at diverting small children... " Bianca tightened her grip on Marissa's waist, "… adults too."
Marissa smiled at Bianca's confident expression.
"You seem very organised," Marissa said, "So how can I help."
"Maybe you could call your mom and see how she would feel if we poached Camilla," suggested Bianca, "While I need to make a hospital appointment for a check-up before we go and get a doctor's note for a disability pass… Not something I've had to do before."
"I can do that." said Marissa with a nod, making a move to get up from Bianca's lap only Bianca held her firmly in place, her hands sliding to Marissa's hips.
"But first, as I've got you here… maybe I could get a kiss?" said Bianca seductively.
Marissa shook her head as she looked at the cocky grin on Bianca lips.
"I think I can schedule that in..." Marissa teased, her tears from before almost forgotten. "You are incredible… I love you so much more than you know." she whispered against Bianca's waiting lips, before closing the space between them to give her lover an adoring kiss.
…