Chapter 40

Belief

Eva rubbed her eyes wearily as she peered over the edge of Newer Record of Property Charms to steal a glance at her best friend. The corners of her mouth tugged upwards as she noticed that Patience was still trying to learn how to use magical stitchery with little success. Eva had shown her friend how to perform four types of magical stitches for cloth embroidery; however, Patience had never been able to effect the spells without some help at the start from either Eva or the house-elf Pokey.

"Patty bring it here, all right? You've got it moving wrong."

Eva banished all thought of finishing the section on extension of Anti-theft Charms that evening and carefully set the old book down on the table by her side. Patience had gathered up the pale blue baby's dress that she had been trying to embroider with white lilies-of-the-valley and was now standing next to Eva's chair.

"It would be easier to do it the Muggle way. I am just so stupid at Charms, Eva. Do you know Luther has said that as soon as we finish our current section he wants to quit working on Charms and just focus on Defence? I think I am driving him mad. I tried to perform the Anti-hiccough Charm on him during last night's lesson—you know I need to learn that for Phoebe because Pokey may not always be there—and instead of undoing the Hiccoughing Charm he'd just cast on himself it made him begin burping. He was not amused."

Eva, who had laughed herself silly at Luther when he had angrily told her about this very incident the night before, nodded sagely and replied, "I think that you can count on Pokey to always be there though dear, since she is rarely anywhere else in the house but near you or the little one. You have got Luther, Pokey, and me to do any charms for you, but Defence is something that every witch must know how to do for herself. Especially now with everything as it is and considering who your husband is, Patience."

Eva saw the immediate flush of anger cross her friend's face and realised that she had not been guarded enough in her words. Before Eva could stem the flow, Patience heatedly replied, "My husband has nothing to do with it. He might not want me anymore, but his daughter is a different thing. He'd protect her from anything; I know he would."

Eva carefully regulated her voice not to show the irritation she felt as she attempted to explain her point calmly, "He isn't here though, Patience. He has left Phoebe in Luther's care and he is at Hogwarts. We both know that he is a Death Eater no matter whether you confess it to me or not and you know what that lot are like. They are most of them as scary as Professor Snape is, so they might not fear him as much as you think that they ought. You need to learn to protect yourself and Phoebe. It is more important than learning how to Charm the baby to sleep."

Patience shoved the baby's dress into Eva's lap as she replied, "I do know the Killing Curse, Eva, and I would not blink before using it to keep Phoebe safe."

Eva stared at her friend for a moment until she finally asked, "How…when did you learn the Killing Curse, Patience? You don't mean that you just know the incantation, do you?"

Patience shook her head and replied in a very calm, quiet voice, "No. Everyone knows the incantation, Eva. I know how it is done and I have practised enough to be ready. There are times that one might have no choice but to use it and I couldn't ever really duel with someone, Eva. I might only have one chance to cast a curse and if I felt that my daughter's life was in danger then I cannot be conflicted about which curse to choose. You don't think that I would care about going to Azkaban, do you?"

Eva took a deep breath and continued in a tone that made it clear that she was afraid to know the answer to her question. "No, Patience, I don't think you would be afraid of Azkaban really. Was it Luther? Did he teach you?"

Patience settled herself next to Eva on the sofa and avoided looking at her friend as she pulled the baby dress back into her lap. "What Luther teaches me is our business, Eva, but I am capable of learning some things without Luther, you know."

Eva knew that Luther's own magic was heavily laced with the Dark Arts, but she had thought that Luther had agreed with her that Patience should never be exposed to the dangers of delving into the Dark Arts. Eva knew from experience how tempting it could be for a well-meaning, generally non-evil witch, who had tasted the extraordinary power that the Dark Arts gave. She did not want her friend to have to experience the same struggle. Eva also knew that Patience's control of magic was weak enough that Patience might very easily lose herself in the power. Luther had seemed to be violently opposed to his sister having any first-hand experience with the Dark Arts and had not yet been reconciled to his wife's professional use of even small amounts of Dark magic.

As Eva's mind was reeling with the realisation that her husband must have actually lied to her and taught his sister precisely how to use an Unforgivable Curse, she tried to pull herself back into the conversation. Patience seemed to understand some of Eva's thoughts, since she was regarding her friend carefully whilst pulling out the uneven stitches from the hem of the baby dress.

"I don't want to row over this, Eva, please."

Eva nodded and took the baby dress from her friend's hands and said stiffly, "Why don't you tell me how Elspeth is then?"

Patience stood up and walked to the gilt-edged desk that was heavily laden with Luther's books to pick up a thimble-sized bell. "She is rather desperate to be out of the house, I think. Ever since the baby was born, Euan has been in a dead panic that she will be targeted by Death Eaters if she leaves the protection of their home. You know that Euan's grandfather was actively involved in prosecuting several Death Eaters after the disappearance of You-know-who last time, so Euan fears payback, especially against a mother and child."

Eva sighed and tried to focus her eyes on setting the enchantment on the embroidery needle, so Patience did not see the concern in her eyes. Eva was growing weary of having to tread lightly round the subject of Death Eaters. Although Eva knew that Patience did not support He-who-must-not-be-named, she was painfully aware of how passionately Patience would defend her husband, who Eva believed to be a prominent Death Eater. "How is little Matthew?"

"Still colicky. Elspeth really needs an aide. Sarah is so busy working that she can hardly go over to help. Such irony, you know? Elspeth never wanted a baby so young and always intended to have a career while Sarah hates working more than almost anything else and would probably handle having a baby much better than poor Elspeth."

"I don't think that anything has turned out like we planned, Patty."

As Patience was about to ring once more for the house-elf, the door to the room opened to admit Rem, who stiffly curtsied and asked, "Mistress rang?"

"Where is Pokey?"

"With Baby, bathing. House-elf does not go to kitchen, so Rem is making tea."

Patience looked at Eva, who shrugged her shoulders. "Thank you, Rem. I was ringing to ask where tea was, so that will be fine. I will talk with Pokey again about her duties."

Rem bowed low and with an unpleasant look over at Eva spoke in a sour, whinging tone, "Rem is pleased to care for Mistress' baby, but kitchen work is for house-elves."

Eva saw her friend raise her eyebrows and narrow her eyes before speaking coldly, "Your work is what I ask for you to do, Rem. Please bring the tea up as soon as possible. I will manage Pokey, but I expect you to do whatever else is necessary now that Wicket is gone. Pokey is not used to house work, so there will be some time of adjustment whilst she learns. She will learn, Rem."

Rem bobbed slightly in a rough curtsy and backed out of the room without further comment. Patience sighed softly and snapped her fingers, rang the tiny bell, and spoke sharply, "Pokey!" There was a loud cracking sound almost immediately and suddenly a tiny house-elf cowered at Patience's feet. Patience opened her mouth to address the house-elf, but did not get any farther. The door to the room flew open and all three occupants turned their heads to see who had entered the room.

"Damn, neither of you are dressed for company. Bloody woman had to show up on our doorstep today of all days. Wouldn't blame Father if he did place a Binding Charm on her. Don't know why he didn't do so years ago."

Eva, who was clearly unhappy to see her husband, asked sourly, "What are you talking about, Luther? And what is wrong with this robe?"

Luther looked up from the box he had hastily Summoned to the top of the desk and had been rummaging roughly through to say confusedly, "Nothing is wrong with your robe, love, you always look especially beautiful in green. However, I know you will not thank me for bringing you down to meet Mother without giving you time to do up your hair. And you'll want to change from your nursing robes, Patience."

"Luther! You did not bring Mother here. You did not! You know that I have forbidden her to come inside and Severus did, as well."

"Well, Snape bleeding well isn't here and you aren't going to turn her away when you hear what I have to say, Patience. She has come to you for help and she needs it. You have a chance to put her under your thumb. It is a golden opportunity for you."

Patience shook her head and gasped, "I don't care. I will not have her here, Luther. I do not want revenge. I just want to be well shot of her."

Eva asked coldly, "Did you put her in the drawing room?"

Luther grunted with frustration and Summoned a second box from the cupboard. "No, she is outside waiting. I will not let her in unless Patience allows it, but you know what an opportunity this is for us, Eva. She's desperate for help if she has come to us."

Eva turned to Patience, who was holding her wand tightly and staring with narrowed eyes at her brother. Eva reached out her hand and touched Patience's shoulder before asking, "What do you want to do, Patience?"

"Well, she cannot stand outside."

The house-elf, who had hitherto remained crouched on the floor at Patience's feet, asked in a squeaky voice, "Does lovely Mistress want Pokey to allow the Mother inside?"

Patience, who had obviously forgotten about the house-elf's existence, stared briefly at the elf before replying, "Yes. You may let her inside, but do not let her go anywhere but the drawing room. You need not bring her anything either, she may wait until Luther and I are ready."

Pokey leant down in a deep bow and with a crackling pop, disappeared.

"What are you looking for, Luther?"

"Govan's journal. I know that I put it in here. Where is it?"

Eva walked over to the cupboard and opened one of the drawers. As she turned round, holding a dark blue, dragon-hide bound book between her forefingers with distaste, Eva asked, "Why is she here, Luther?"

Luther reached out to take the book from his wife and tried to kiss her cheek, but stumbled as Eva deftly avoided him. He looked at her with a surprised, pained expression on his face and responded slowly, "Father has found out about Steven Warrington. Mother had sworn that affair was over more than a year ago, in fact it was, but Edward told Aldebaran and me that his brother Stephen was trying to win her back. Seems he did. Do not know why he wanted her. What is wrong, Eva? What did I do? Ought I not to have mentioned your hair? It does not look bad at all, but I know that you prefer to have it up for company. I didn't mean you don't look beautiful, my love, because obviously you do."

Eva turned her back on Luther and looked at Patience, who appeared as if she were about to cry from nerves. "Never mind that now, Luther. You and I will talk later. You do not have to see your mother, Patty dear. We can send her away. It is no less than she deserves. Or Luther and I could see her."

Patience took a deep breath and looked at her brother, who was gazing forlornly at his wife's back. "What does she want from us, Luther? What is it that you expect to get from her?"

Luther tore his eyes away from Eva and responded with a slight shrug, "She wants us to hide her, probably, until Father calms down enough to want her back again. I intend to see what she offers us, but I would say nothing less than 20,000 galleons per day."

Patience looked away from her brother in disgust and said, "I won't allow you to keep her here, Luther, but if you know somewhere to hide her and you want to do this then you may. I am not sure if I will come down. I think I'll go up to see Phoebe right now."

Luther slid Govan's journal in his pocket and crossed the room quickly to stand by his sister. "Patience, I thought you would want an opportunity to take back something after all she did to you."

"It doesn't work like that for me, Luther. You go. I don't want to see her."

As Patience ran from the room, Luther started to follow her until he was stopped by Eva, who said, "Leave her, Luther. We're going down to meet with your mother."

"Have you been practising like I told you?"

Patience looked up and bit her lip nervously as she responded, "Yes. I have progressed to rats. Pokey is disposing of the bodies, but it is awful, Severus. It is such an awful thing to be doing and practising. And I can't tell Eva how I know the wand strokes and incantation methods for the Killing Curse, can I? The Binding Charm keeps me from saying that you taught me, so she thinks that Luther did. He has been banished to my old bedroom for almost a week now and is frantic to convince her that he didn't do anything wrong."

Snape nodded shortly. "Luther will make it right with her. He will do whatever it takes. Why don't you explain to me what I have been hearing about your mother's disappearance?"

Patience, who had just finished her second goblet of Aphigorial nectar, leant back in her chair and said, "Luther probably hid her at Daedalus, but I didn't ask. I don't know how much he forced her to pay him, but he deposited a good amount at Gringotts for me, as well."

Snape filled up his wife's goblet once more and poured out another jigger of l'Armagnac Noir de Limousin for himself before responding, "I should hope that he did. She didn't come to you here then?"

"Well she did, but I didn't see her. I couldn't. I stayed with Phoebe and let Eva and Luther organise everything. Why? What have you heard?"

Snape looked pointedly at his wife before relaxing somewhat and saying only, "Nothing important." He raised his goblet to his lips and looked over at the slowly rocking cot near the fireplace. "She looks like you."

Patience frowned in confusion until she saw that her husband was looking towards where their baby was fitfully sleeping. "Does she? She has your hair. I have never seen hair so black before. Luther's is more brown-black, but Phoebe's is like yours."

Snape grunted in response and took a sip from his glass. "Let us hope that is all the looks she inherits from me then."

Patience placed her goblet on the table next to her and asked, "Do you want one of the portraits? Luther had an extra copy made so that he could take one with him to Daedalus, but you could take that one."

Snape shook his head and gestured for his wife to come to him. "I think not. Are you ready to talk about the Ministry visit, Patience? Because I need to know precisely what happened. I've given you more than enough Aphigorial; you should be able to tell me now."

Patience dutifully got up from her chair and went to sit on the ottoman in front of her husband's large armchair. "Luther told you everything, Severus, really. They were difficult about not being allowed into my rooms, but Luther explained to them about the wards. They said they would contact you about it."

Snape placed his hand on his wife's knee as he leant forward to speak. "A registered owl from the Ministry could not have come at a worse time."

"I'm sorry. I didn't know that they would come to inspect the house again or that they would want to see my bedroom."

Snape spoke in a low, growling voice as he replied, "They don't care about your Beautification Potions or robes, Patience. They know that your rooms were once mine, so they want to see what I might have left here."

"I know that, but you would have thought I was hiding half of Knockturn Alley in my rooms, Severus, from how they reacted. One of them accused me of criminal obstruction and threatened me with wand restrictions if I didn't allow them to enter."

Snape clenched his jaw tightly and looked over at the slowly spinning moonclock on the mantelpiece. "I cannot do anything about it, Patience. I cannot admit to either knowing about it or caring. Luther can have Shipley draught an owl…"

Patience interrupted impatiently, "I don't want Luther to do anything about it. It won't do any good, will it?"

Snape raised his eyebrows and replied, "None whatsoever."

"Will it always be like this, Severus?"

Snape roughly pulled his wife's hand into his lap and said, "No. We won't always be this lucky."

Patience screwed up her face and said in a shaking voice, "You mean it will go back to being like this summer?"

Snape looked down at his lap where his hands were wrapped round his wife's slender white fingers and said in a very cold voice, "Worse. I think that the worst is coming, Patience."

"You are going away?"

"No. No, I am not going away. I will no longer be able to hide in the shadows. The results and consequences to you and the child will be enormous, Patience."

Patience reached her free hand out to touch her husband's cheek and spoke with feeling, "I don't care, Severus. I will support whatever you do and I will do whatever you ask. What do you want me to do? Can I help you?"

Snape closed his eyes and puckered his lips in pain before responding slowly, "Yes, you could help me, but you will have to agree to do whatever I ask without telling anyone, no matter what you hear or what you find that I have done."

"You're going to attack someone."

Snape dropped his wife's hand into his lap and clenched his fingers together angrily as he snarled, "I cannot tell you what I am going to do, Patience. You cannot be involved; you cannot have any knowledge of it. Yet I will need you afterwards. I must know that you are trustworthy."

"I am. I would do anything you ask."

"Even when you find out what I am to do?"

"Yes."

Snape lifted his wife's chin so that she was forced to look directly into his angry, black eyes and he asked with a cruel sneer, "Even when you find that your husband is one of the most hated wizards in Britain? Even if you cannot find a way to excuse what I have done?"

Patience blinked her tear-filled eyes and replied, "But you wouldn't do anything that you didn't have to do, would you? You must have a reason for what you do, even if you don't tell me?"

"Can you believe that?"

Patience choked back a sob as she answered, "Yes. You aren't nice at all, but you aren't evil. I believe in you."

Snape's expression did not relax as he said, "No, I am not nice, my dear. I am a very 'not nice' wizard. You don't know the half of what I do."

Patience wiped her cheeks with the palm of her hand and said unsteadily, "I may not know what that part of you is, but I know it is there. How could I not after you came to me all covered in blood that day?"

Snape stared intently at his wife as he slowly said, "Ye-es. And you didn't even ask about it, did you? What a well-bred witch I married. I suppose you would like to know what I was doing?"

Patience shook her head. "No. You weren't at the Ministry and you can't have got the blood from something you did at school. So whatever it was, it must have been something secret and I think I'd rather not know. I am willing to believe that it was necessary."

Snape let out the breath that he had been holding and said softly, "You are an amazing witch, Patience. I have no business being so lucky."

Patience asked tremulously, "What can I do to help you?"

Snape placed his hands on either side of his wife's head and looked deeply into her eyes as he said, "We shall discuss that later."