Dear Readers, sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter. First I wanted to focus on finals, and after all that was finished, I wanted to enjoy a few days to myself. But Now that that is all finished, I'll be focusing more of my time to writing as many chapters as possible and getting this story done as soon as I can. And if anyone has the same questions as HopelessRomantic183, let me know and I'll post part of my reply to HopelessRomantic183 onto the next chapter update. But otherwise I will most likely wait until the story is finish before answer deeper about any questions you have about the story. And finally as always, ENJOY!
Chapter 42-Attached
The air around them was growing warmer as the late afternoon settled in; the sun was lowering slowly pass the line of their shoulders. It took a few moments before Merida could speak again, but when she did, her voice was a mixture of amassment and disbelief. "The answer was so simple…It was right there in front of our faces and yet we're so dense."
"Rapunzel was the only one who noticed," Jack commented.
"Well we have to give the lass some credit. When compared to the rest of us, Blonde is more sensitive towards peoples' emotions than we are, or at least emotions beyond our main priority ones."
Jack took in a deep breath through his nose, and grinned just so slightly upon released of the air. "Blonde is still human. And could anyone blame us though?" Jack asked, but he was looking back towards Arendelle when he asked it. "We can't afford to be too sensitive towards anything specific, especially holding attachments towards certain things. It's only going to hurt us as years goes on."
"And yet some of us still do it," Merida said in a gentle voice.
Out of the corner of his eyes, Jack saw the expression on Merida's face just as she had turned her head towards the east, looking somewhere further beyond the horizon of the ocean. "Then what hurts you the most Red?" Merida returned her gaze back to Jack with a raised eyebrow. "I mean, what do you have gotten attach to that hurts you?"
Merida didn't answer right away, but she softly wiped the rein to signal Angus to start trotting forward. Jack moved out of their way and started flying next to them, matching their level of speed. After another moment of silence between them, Merida spoke. "I've always been partial to the highlands back around my homeland, but the land has been changing in the last three centuries. That pot of earth is still a wonderful sight to behold, but the land I remember is slowly fading away. It hurts to come home sometime and not recognize the land, even if it's just a small part of it."
Jack could understand how Merida feels about that. The area surrounding his pond was slowly being changed as well. But not by nature's doing, but the human settlers are forcibly changing it more too quickly than he would like. "Well that's the trouble of being away for too long. You lose track of time and things can go and change on you."
"I'm also attached to my old castle home; by miracle it's still standing, but the newer generations these years are more neglectful in taking care of it. I'm also attached to the some of the rivers: to the paths, the waters, the stars, and to some of the trees I use-to use for practice with my bow…But enough about me, it's you we're supposed to be talking about. So what do miss from your human life? With your memories back you should be missing a lot of things as much as me."
Jack's first thought went to his sister and then quickly to Elisa. There was a quick surge of happiness, and then came pain, and then a numbing of serenity. "I guess I should, and I do, but the memories are numb most of the time."
"Ah now that's cold of you Frost. But I suppose I can't blame you. You were the lucky one out of Hiccup and me to have no memories from the start."
"Now who's the one being cold?" Jack asked, turning to face Merida with a bit of a glare.
"Fine-Fine-Fine. But if you ask me, I say you're awfy touchy." Before Jack could reply back, Merida continued on speaking. "But seriously, you're not attached to anything? Not even your sister?"
Jack pulled himself ahead of Merida and Angus, and stopped a few feet ahead of them. Startled, Angus neighed as he was forced to an abrupt halt. "Of course I'm attached to my sister, Merida." Jack stated angrily. "I'm attached to a lot of people from my past more so than you think."
"And yet 'the memories are numb most of the time,'" Merida mimicked.
Jack gritted his teeth. "Children are finally able to see me for the past eight years! But it's still nothing compare to the eight-hundred years since my last contact with humans! It's been so long Merida. So long!"
Merida smiled excitedly and leaned forward on Angus. "Exactly Frost," she said happily, pointing a finger at Jack. "That is exactly it."
"What's it?" Jack demanded.
"What you just said. It's been so long since your last human contact in general. That's where your problem is you bampot! You've been out of practice. You're actually afraid to form a deep bond with a human."
"No I'm—"
"More precisely, you're afraid of getting hurt like the rest of us. Losing to time."
Jack couldn't find the words to argue back. What Merida had just said had hit him hard. Jack couldn't bring himself to believe that he was afraid of forming human bonds, but his mind was telling him that the logic makes sense, and his heart was pounding against his chest. "J-Jamie," Jack stuttered. "I'm not afraid of losing Jamie to time."
Merida nodded her head. "I would be worried for you if you were," Merida said, though the tone of her voice wasn't in mockery or sarcastic. She meant it with understanding. "Jamie is always going to be special to you. He's your first believer. And you spend more time with him than with any other kid. But I can assume he wasn't the first child you've been partial to." Jack didn't say anything, but kept his gaze lowered. "You had hundreds of years to try to get children to see you. But even when they couldn't, you still formed attachments to some of them right?"
"…Well how couldn't I?"
"Jack, you are more comfortable with forming unacquainted bonds in general than the rest of us. But now that children can see you, that's a whole different other story. However, you're used to having to let go of children. You understand they have to grow up, and you want them to, because you know life isn't just about childhood. But now that an attractive human female can see you and wants to be with you, you go and shut yourself completely off from her advances."
"...There's a time limit—"
"There's a time limit on Jamie, we already went through that reason Jack."
"She won't be able to see any of us again."
"—Children couldn't see you before and some of them have stopped seeing you now. But that doesn't keep you from trying to interact with some of them." Merida rolled her eyes and pretended to yarn. "This is getting old Frost. Start coming up with better reasons if you want to beat me in this argument."
Jack gripped his staff harder, expanding the area of the wood covered with frosts to the point where Merida could hear it crackling. "Merida, if she continues to have feelings towards me after the war, then I'll be stealing from her tangibility. And I'll be leaving her nothing but an unnecessary attachment. There will be nothing for her to hold on to me—literally. We wouldn't be able to be with each even if I were to always be standing right beside her…Ah finally," Jack said with some satisfaction, seeing the expression on Merida's face. "Even you can't argue against that. The perfect nail in the coffin."
"…You're right about that Jack. I can't." Merida said plainly. She then looked at Jack hard in the eyes, "But even so, that doesn't mean you can decide if the lass' lingering feelings for you would bring her misery or not. It's her feelings, so it's her choice to do what she wants with it in her life." Jack's eyes remained narrowed, but soften. He lowered his head as well at turned it to face away from his friend. Merida tugged at the reign lightly while also making a clicking sound. Angus trotted forward and was stopped when Merida was beside Jack. "Snow Queen is stronger than you think, or rather stronger than what you're trying to force yourself to believe. I honestly believe she's going to be fine even with the attachment, and I don't think it'll be an unnecessary one. I have faith in the lass. Besides, it's you that we're talking about here, stop trying to turn it around on her.
Jacked inhaled a deep breath of air there his nose and released it through the same way in. His head was now completely lowered, body hung with loos limbs, his staff looking as though it was about to slip from his defeated grip. Jack chucked with a hint of a grimace. "Sorry. You may be right…You may be right."
Merida reached down with her right hand and rubbed the side of Jack's shoulder. "You may be older than me but gosh, never thought I would be telling Jack Frost to get his love issue in order."
"Sure-sure," Jack replied in exhaustion.
"But seriously Frost, do you even love Snow Queen?" Jack turned and looked at Merida with a sore eye. "Alright-alright, I won't bludgeon you about this any further. But I want you to get some backbones and get yourself straight with Snow Queen…Really Jack," Merida said more quietly. "It's alright to be scared about forming these sorts of relationships with a human. Just don't go worrying about the other person so much so that you're afraid to face your own feelings."
"Thanks for the advice," Jack said sourerly, but Merida didn't take his tone into offense. "I'll keep it in mind."
Merida patted Jack a few times before having Angus trotting forward again. "Alright Frost, we wasted enough daylight and now the sun's setting. Better get on with our patrols."
"Merida," Jack called suddenly, stopping the pair from moving. Jack turned himself around in order to face them properly. "At least tell me one thing. Have you ever been in a relationship with a human?"
Merida busted a laugh, surprising Angus enough to turn his head to look at his rider. "Do you honestly believe I'm the type of lass to be searching for a loon?"
"Did I specifically ask you about romance relationship?" Jack smirked softly. "I asked whether or not you've ever formed an actual human and Being relationship."
Merida smiled wickedly and bobbed her head. "Still don't see why you would ask me that. Why not Hiccup instead? He had his Viking sweetheart."
Jack shrugged his shoulders and said in honesty. "I guess I could, but I already know about him and Astrid and their ending. I'm just curious about you."
Merida looked towards the sinking sun, and then back at Jack. "I had the chance to," Merida admitted. "After I settled down and accepted the fact that I was dead and a spirit and all, I figured out ways to leave traces of myself for humans to see things, even if they didn't believe in me, or it was past their time of youth. I could've formed a Being and human relationship somewhat through the same method as Hiccup did; and there was only one person in my entire life that I ever wanted to make contact with, even if it just be a moment of them knowing I was there. I had wanted that more than anything else in the world. But I didn't. Like you, I was afraid of interfering."
"Did you regret not making the contact?"
"…Aye," Merida said firmly. "And I still do."
"Then how did that person lived without your interference?"
Merida smiled softly. "Ironically, she clung to me even without me ever making contact with her. She clung to me to the very end of her days…She never did quite move on after my death, and I always wondered; if I had interfered just to tell her that it was alright. Then would that have made a good difference?"
Jack raised an eye brow with interest, impressed with who this human Merida was speaking so fondly of. "So she knew you while you were alive. Who was she? Is she someone I saw in your memories?"
Merida smirked at Jack and whip the reign hard. Angus neighed with a snort as he stood on his back legs. "Wouldn't you like to know!" Merida said happily, and Angus started running off towards Arendelle.
XxXxXx
After their quick patrol around Arendelle, Angus and Merida made for the woods and beyond. The pair raced high over the treetops with no other sounds following them, except for the whip of the flames they created as Merida's hair flapped against the wind and Angus' hooves clashes hard with every powerful step. To the southwest of them, the sun was already setting; the remaining light burning in red, coloring the sky in orange, and illuminating the land in rich gold.
In the distance, Merida spotted a large clearing with tall lengthy grasses swaying with easy breeze. With it was a long wide strip of path leading to flat lands before the meeting with the woods and once more, and beyond that were the mountains.
"There Angus!" she cried with excitement." Angus dashed forward on command and descended downward to meet with earth, and embrace with the touches of the grasses. Angus circled the clearing a few times until he started slowing down and stopped with a satisfying neigh. "You feel better now don't ya?" Merida asked, while patting Angus on the side of his neck. Angus replied with a jolting shook of his head. "I know-I know. But bear with it a tad longer. Soon we'll be chasing the wind and casting summer behind our shadows again." Tugging on the reign, Merida turned Angus towards the path. "Come on. A little run through that flatland will do us a bit of good." Angus started off with a slow trot down the path. He increased in speed and began to gallop as soon as they entered the flatlands.
Holding her head high and looking left and right, she said to Angus. "It's not really the same is it," in which he replied with a deep ripple from his cheeks. "It's pretty and all, but there's no beating the land of home." Merida then turned to face in the direction of the sun and smiled with a grimace. "No beating it…" Merida said more quietly. In the back of her mind, there was a haunting voice that lulled for her. "Say…it would be around this color when she would come and visit me." Merida then turned to look at the shadows she and Angus were casting; they were shimmering with every stroke made by the wind upon the grass; he sun's light glittering in reelection of the plants' surface. The haunting voice was growing louder and louder in her mind, overflowing the remaining space with her past memories.
Whether it is during sun rise of sun set, the woman would come visiting her around this color: when the sun was red enough with a balanced touch of warm orange, whether it be sun rising or sun set, she would come. If Merida remembers correctly, why the woman chose that color of the sun was because of the color of Merida's hair. That color of the sun was the closes that came to resembling Merida's red hair; casting its light upon her grave in a blaze. Merida remembers it all to clearly. The woman would visit her once every month, but every year on Merida's birthday, the woman would stay camping near her grave for one whole day and night. And on the color of the rising sun, and the color of the setting sun, she would gently stroke the side of Merida's gravestone, and sing a lullaby.
A naoidhean bhig, cluinn mo ghuth Mise ri d' thaobh, / O mhaighdean bhan / Ar righinn oig, fas as faic / Do thir, dileas fhein / A ghrian a's a ghealaich, stuir sinn / Gu uair ar cliu 's ar gloire / Naoidhean bhig, ar righinn og / Mhaighdean uashaill bhan
The sun was close to disappearing. With but a few inches of the light left, the haunting voice came back to Merida. This time, like the many other times, Merida sang with her mother.
Little baby, hear my voice, I'm beside you, O maiden fair, / Our young Lady, grow and see, your land your own faithful land / Sun and moon, guide us, to the hour of our glory and honor / Little baby, our young Lady, Noble maiden fair