Chapter 41

Truth

As he carefully wiped the blade of the small jewelled knife on the dingy white cloth in his left hand, Snape turned his head towards where his wife was slumped against the back of the chair closest to the fireplace. He could see that her eyes were fixed on the Prince family coat of arms that was emblazoned on the fire plate, which was barely visible behind the flames. Snape tucked the cloth into his pocket without casting a Scouring Spell. Their mingled blood was too precious to waste. She did not need to know about the final Protection Charm that he would cast.

"Gideon will not have any success, Patience. All of the papers are in order. The house and everything else now belongs entirely to you, since the Ministry will have terminated my rights. You two are safest here."

"When will you…"

"No." Snape could see that his wife had returned to staring into the flames, so he crossed the floor to where his black lacquer box was resting on the top of his old desk. As he tapped the surface and opened the lid to replace the knife, Snape spoke softly, "Unless I am very mistaken, this will be the final time, Patience."

His wife did not turn her eyes from her contemplation of the glowing iron fire plate as she replied, "I see. I did not even expect you to come, you know. The Ministry has already been here four times. If it weren't for Luther's assurance that this house has more protection than anywhere else I can go then I would take Phoebe and leave Britain. They want to take this house apart stone by stone until they find you."

"They will not find me. You are the only person who would be able to find me now, but you must stay here where it is safe."

Patience turned her head and started to ask, "How…"

"You have always had the ability to find me, Patience. That was part of the Binding Charm. Although I can make myself Untraceable and place a dozen spells round myself to keep hidden, you can find me without even using your wand."

"I never knew where you were though."

"It doesn't work quite like that. You will not know where I am, but you can find me. You can Apparate to me. It is more complex than that; however, the only part of the magic that you would be able to manage would be Apparation."

"Oh."

Snape picked up the necklace from the desk and walked with it towards his wife. "You need to allow me to put this on you to activate the new charm."

Patience stood up to face him and, as she felt her husband's cold hands reaching under her hair to wrap the tail of the gold wyvern necklace round her neck, she asked tonelessly, "What will the new charm do in addition to the old one?"

"It won't protect you actively, but when someone near you means you ill then the necklace will feel warm to your skin."

Patience thought that hardly seemed worth all of the horrible words that her husband had cast over the Prince family necklace or the gash that he had cut in his own hand to seal the spell, but she said nothing. Almost everyone she met now wished her ill, so the necklace would not be telling her anything that she did not already know. She was the wife of the Dark wizard who had killed Albus Dumbledore. She had even lost one of her best friends, Elspeth, whose husband would no longer allow Elspeth to contact Patience out of fear for their baby and his Ministry job. Patience could no longer expect anything but ill will.

As if he understood her thoughts, Snape added, "The necklace will tell you when someone wants to kill you, Patience."

"Oh. What about Phoebe?"

"I have placed the deepest curse I know to protect her, Patience. That is the best that I can do. I do not have the strength to do more. I have already used more blood than is safe."

Patience nodded her head and did not move from where she was standing directly in front of her husband. She knew that he was going to leave and that she might never see him alive again. He would be killed. She knew that the Ministry and even private wizards and witches were looking for him and he had warned her that he would immolate himself before he would submit to the Dementor's Kiss.

Patience did not have any hope that He-who-must-not-be-named and the Death Eaters would succeed and she did not actually want them to win. Although it was the only way she would ever be able to be with her husband again, Patience had finally decided that she could not support the Death Eaters. She would do anything for her husband no matter how wrong it was, but she would do nothing else to help He-who-must-not-be-named. She had been surprised that her husband had not been angry when she had informed him of her decision, but he had been satisfied when she had offered to take any vow he required to prove that she would help him above anything else—even if it seemed that she were helping the 'Dark Lord'.

Nevertheless, Patience had not been prepared, despite her husband's blatant and clear warning about what was coming, to find out that her husband was now the most notorious murderer in Britain. At first, she had been angry and then she had even felt betrayed. However, on the first Ministry visit after Headmaster Dumbledore's murder, Patience had felt a sudden, immediate alignment of all her feelings and loyalties. Yet although Patience had defiantly decreed her allegiance to her husband to the Ministry officials who had come to her house, to her husband's cousin when he had tried to claim the Prince property by default, and to her own brother and friends, Patience had also not been prepared to see him. There had been nothing real said between them since he had arrived—only commands issued and obeyed. Patience was not sure that she wanted him to try to talk to her or hold her or do anything but issue commands. The reality of his crime had been greater than she had expected.

Snape watched his wife as he followed her thoughts. He knew that she was unsure of him despite her determination to support him. He knew even better than she did that she was entirely correct that she would likely never again see him alive. No matter what the reason for him having done so, Snape could hardly imagine that the wizarding world could never forgive the murderer of Headmaster Dumbledore. There was nothing he could ever do that would remove that stigma no matter what was to come. He had known that he was burning all bridges when he had obeyed his master and raised his wand to kill.

Snape hated that his actions were in reaction to a command other than his own, but a vow made long ago had removed his ability to make all of his own decisions. That horrible day when he had been bereft of everything—when his beloved had been killed—he had set himself on the path that had led to this moment. How little Dumbledore had ever understood him. Her memory could only continue to shine perfect and unchanged in his mind, not the slightest bit diminished regardless of his love for Patience. The great depth of his passion for his wife could not possibly supplant the burning ache that still resided in his heart. He would lose his life keeping the boy safe even though it meant leaving his own child without a father. Perhaps if their plan were ever made known...if the boy succeeded...perhaps then Phoebe would not need to be ashamed of him.

Snape knew that he must soon walk away. He barely contained an exhausted sigh as he asked, "Luther has been taking care of you?"

"Yes. He has done battle both literally and figuratively. Literally with my mother's sister Sorcha, before she was killed of course, but also my Great-uncle Hephaestus Kent surprisingly, and then your cousin Gideon, too. Gideon tried to force the door to take possession of the property with his Jurisconsultant as witness. Luther really enjoyed that fight actually. Then the Ministry kept coming again and again. Luther has been down to be interviewed so many times and he has had to work ever so hard to keep them from dragging me down there again. Aldebaran Shipley has stood by Luther, you know, which shocked me. He set aside several other cases to act as Jurisconsultant whenever we have needed him. Your Jurisconsultant, Stronge, has been here but he will not meet with Ministry officials, so Aldebaran has done it all. They have been portraying me to the press and to the Ministry as the abandoned wife and devoted young mother who was treacherously deceived by her horrid, evil warlock husband. Luther won't let me talk to the Ministry officials that keep coming to search the house because he's afraid that I'll be too honest about still supporting you."

"You should listen to your brother and Shipley."

"I know, but the Binding Charm won't let me lie about my feelings for you, Severus."

Snape frowned and replied severely, "I want you to obey your brother and Shipley about this. Perhaps now that I have ordered you to do so the Charm will allow it. If not then have your brother do all the talking or stay out of the way. It will not help me for you to publicly defend me. I want all eyes off you, Patience."

"I will try, then."

"You must do better than try. I do not think that you understand me, Patience. I must know that you and the child are safe. It is more important than anything else. I cannot afford to be afraid for your welfare. I have a job to do that must be done. If you cannot promise to obey me, than I will place you under magical obligation."

Patience spoke almost hysterically, "I will, I will. Must everything you say always be an order or a command? Can't you talk to me as if you have feelings? Can't you tell me just once what you really feel, Severus? Please."

Snape gripped his wife's shoulder and growled, "What do you think that I am saying to you when I tell you that I must know you are safe? I am telling you as clearly as I can that I can do nothing else if I am worrying about you and the baby. You and the child are the first, second, and last thing on my mind at any time, Patience. Yet I must finish this job that I have started and the only possible way to do it is if I can focus on the job and not you. Wars are won by men who have nothing but their own souls to lose. I sold mine years ago, Patience, so I was safe until I saw you."

Snape stared down at his wife, who had reacted to his angry words by placing one hand tentatively on his shoulder. He watched her eyes as she gazed up at him and searched his face for the truth. Snape felt himself goaded past bearing—led to say what he knew she wanted to hear. It was the only chance he would ever have to say those words and he would regret refusing her now. "I think I was always meant to love you, Patience, but we were never meant to be together. You were never supposed to love me back. We were never supposed to raise a child together. I cannot keep what I was never meant to have, Patience, and what I cannot hope to deserve. I have now protected you and the child with my own blood and, if I must, then I will spill what is left to keep you safe. I was never meant to have a life of love and happiness, my girl, but you were. You should have had everything you wanted. I need you to live and be safe."

"But I do love you and we do have a child. What I want is to be with you."

"That cannot be, Patience."

"I once thought that all I ever wanted was to be loved, but I don't know how I can…"

Snape interrupted curtly, "Then you got what you most wanted. You understand why I need you to protect Phoebe and stay safe? You will do what I ask without question?"

"Yes."

Snape looked at the spinning bands of the moonclock and placed his hand on his forearm saying roughly, "Get the child. I must go."

As Patience ran into the bedroom next door, Snape slid the silver Encache box that had been his wife's into his pocket. He doubted that he would risk asking his wife to use the Encache to send him anything. Regardless, he had taught her how to use his black lacquer box in case he did need her help. He had left the box with her for safekeeping before the battle at Hogwarts, but since the silver box could be hidden in his pocket, he would now swap them and leave the black box and all its hidden treasures in his wife's keeping. She did not know what was kept within, which Snape felt was likely for the best.

As his wife returned with his daughter, Snape pulled the baby from Patience into his own arms. The child's eyes had darkened so that she now had his black hair and black eyes. The baby's nose still looked like his grandmother Prince's—that it didn't look like the Snape nose was at least a blessing—but Snape could see that the baby would look far more like himself than he would have liked. This was not merely because he knew he was unattractive, but because it would hardly be beneficial for any child to look like the wizarding world's most hated Death Eater.

Snape placed a kiss on the child's forehead and then handed her back to his wife, who threw herself onto his chest with a soft cry. Snape paused briefly and closed his eyes so he could permanently imprint the memory of his wife and child pressing against his body in his mind. As he breathed in the incredible feeling of possession, he heard his wife's plaintive voice promising, "I will still write to you. I will check the book and the box in case you need me."

Snape leant his cheek briefly on his wife's head before saying, "I cannot promise that I will ever be able to write to you or even read what you write, but if I know that you are writing, even if I can't read it, then I will feel you are safe."

Patience reached into her pocket and pulled out her wand, which she drew along her hand silently. Snape watched in surprise as she then raised her palm, which was now covered with dark red blood and placed it on his head. "You are protected, too, Severus. You were wrong—I was always meant to love you. Now go. I will keep Phoebe safe."

Snape looked into his wife's violet-blue eyes and saw the truth. However, the Dark mark on his forearm was now burning so that the pain was beyond bearing. He would have to go. It was time.

Note:

This is the final chapter. The events of this story are fully compliant with Ms Rowlings' story, so we all know what is coming for Professor Snape the following year. Nevertheless, as I have been asked for just a little bit more information...I am happy to add that when Adhara Phoebe Snape was accompanied to King's Cross station a little more than 11 years later by her mother Madame Snape, her Uncle Luther, her Aunt Eva, all three of her little Kent cousins, and her best friend Angus Bruce-MacDiarmid with his family, she was not ashamed to meet the looks of her fellow Hogwart's first-years. Although her deepest fears were realised when Angus was Sorted into Ravenclaw and she into Slytherin, just like their fathers, quite unlike her own father she never lost her first, true love to another.