I haven't seen or talked to Emily or even the other girls for two weeks. I've been ignoring them and trying to get my life in order; my life without Emily. Being rejected by Emily devastated me. I didn't know it was possible for my heart to hurt that much but I felt as though it was literally being ripped apart piece by piece. I realized the moment I was walking off the pool deck that I needed to distance myself from Emily for even just a short amount of time in order to clear my head and realize the two of us would not have a future together.
I spent the first couple of days after the kiss just ignoring every one's attempts at communication before I just flat out turned my phone off and it hasn't been back on since. I don't even know if anyone's been over to my house, because after a week, I decided to take a trip to Philadelphia for a little while. I needed to get out of Rosewood; I needed to get away from Emily. Philly isn't far from Rosewood, but with my phone turned off and no one knowing I had left, it felt like I was worlds away. I've been here for almost a week; sightseeing, relaxing and doing my best to get over Emily. Clearing years of love out of your mind and heart is not an easy task. I know it won't happen in three weeks, I probably won't ever get over her, but I can sure as damn well try. The image of us together in the water, plays over and over in my head. That kiss was everything I had ever dreamed off. Holding Emily like that, her hands behind my neck with mine on the small of her back, felt more like home then I remembered. I felt comfortable, safe and happy in her arms, her lips against mine, only to be ripped from my contentment moments later. I had been fine coming home, even seeing her engaged was ok since I knew she was happy and living her life. But now, my heart is broken. One kiss had caused my heart to swell and hope again for a future with her, only for her to take it away again in one fell swoop. It was in that moment, staring down at her standing in the water; my heart breaking, that I realized it was my turn to move on.
I took the bus to Philadelphia and checked into a decent hotel near the art museum, close to the river. So far I've spent a lot of time walking and thinking. I visited many of the historical sites, gardens and museums barely remembering anything I saw. My head has been a complete haze of memories and thoughts of Emily, the distractions not helping at all. The evening, I find myself sitting in the spectator stands on the bank of the Schuylkill River. I'm alone since there isn't a rowing event today so I sit and watch the ducks and the occasional practicing rower float by. I can tell the rowers have a complete connection between themselves, the boat and the water. They make it look easy. Seeing their ease and power against the water, reminds me of swimming and how much the water soothes me. Maybe that's how I subconsciously ended up by the river. Unfortunately though, the thought of swimming is tied to Emily in so many ways. I can only hope I can get myself past the association so I can return to the water someday.
I don't know how long I've been sitting here staring at the water. Afternoon is slowly fading into evening and I am enjoying the clearness the rushing sound of the river brings to my head. For the first time, in a long time, I am able to empty my head and just be. No rushing thoughts, no memories, no Emily. I feel free.
"Hello?" A voice off to my right says. It pulls me from my empty state, dragging me back to reality again. I shake my head to realign my senses before glancing over and seeing a woman probably about my age standing there timidly holding a camera.
"Uhh... Hi," I reply somewhat awkwardly, taking in the stranger. She stands confidently but carefully, keeping her distant from me until she can determine if I'm a homicidal freak or not. I give her a small smile in an attempt to show her I'm not going to hurt her and that I welcome her presence. The whole scene reminds me of a person approaching a stray dog. She gives me a smile back that lights up her face. It's sweet and kind, giving off a very friendly disposition. Her clothing is fairly normal: jeans and a long sleeve thermal worn under a black lightweight jacket. Her jacket is unzipped, giving me just a small glimpse of how her shirt hugs her slight curve. Her hair is a golden blonde that is pulled back into a tie to keep it out of her eyes, but I notice a slight wave to the small pieces that were too stubborn to fit in the tie. She's very pretty.
"Hi... Um... I'm Alex," the blonde says holding out a hand. I extend mine to meet hers and shake it, feeling a slight chill go down my arm. I suddenly feel a little nervous.
"Paige," I reply letting go of her hand. "What can I do for you, Alex?" I ask, looking into her dark green eyes. I can tell she's a bit on edge as if she's not used to talking to random strangers she meets on the side of the river... Imagine that.
"Well, I'm a photographer with the 'Times'... I just started there actually... And well I'm on this assignment about 'taking in nature' or something..." She is rambling. It is actually pretty cute and adorable. I find my smile growing wider as she continues to ramble on. "But anyways, I saw you here looking so contemplative and relaxed and I took a few pictures and I was wondering if I could get your permission to use them," the photographer finally spits out, biting her lip as an added plea. It's hard to resist. Dipping my head, I smile and look back up at her, a slight blush beginning to creep into my cheeks. Weird...
"Yeah sure. No problem," I say looking up at her. Her smile grows and she gives a little hop, her feet not leaving the ground, at the same time she just slightly twists her shoulders to the side. It's fucking adorable.
"Great. Thanks so much," she says looking me in the eyes. I feel something I didn't think I'd feel ever again for anyone besides Emily: butterflies. "Well um... Here's my card," she says reaching a small card out to me. "The website for the paper is on there... Your pictures will probably be up some time this weekend."
"Cool. I, uhh, look forward to seeing them," I reply awkwardly, taking the card from her. There's a brief moment of nervous silence between us before she puts her hand up briefly, signaling good bye.
"Ok, well…have a good evening then Paige," she smiles again before turning and walking away. My eyes follow her as she leaves, noticing her glance back at me over her shoulder as she walks up the bleacher steps. I can feel my face getting red as I look back out towards the water.
"What was that?" I say aloud to myself, my eyes wide, still smiling. I look down at the small white card in my hands. "Alexandra Parson," I read out loud, before looking up at the river again, flicking the card onto the palm of my free hand. I can't seem to wipe the smile off my face as the image of her cute, nervous smile, replaces Emily's even if it's just for a few moments.
I wake up the next day around late morning, fairly refreshed and in a good mood. The small distraction provided by the cute photographer helped me more then I originally thought. Sitting up in the bed, I do my best to keep my mind on the new face and not replace it with Emily's. Thankfully, the small card on the bedside table of my hotel room, catches my eye. I pick it up and start turning it over in my hands nervously, not sure if I should go in the direction my brain is heading.
"Oh what the hell..." I say leaning over and grabbing the hotel phone. I dial the number on the card and feel my heart race faster and faster with each ring.
"Philadelphia Times, Alex speaking," answers the voice on the other end. Her voice is cheerful and inviting, causing me to smile.
"Yeah…hi…Alex? This is Paige, the girl from the river yesterday," I say into the receiver, my heart beginning to race a little. I was surprised at the effect that this new girl was having on me.
"Oh, Hey! I was just editing your photos. You look gre... THEY, they look great." She says her voice cracking when she corrects her statement making me let out a small laugh. I was glad we were on the phone because I could feel my cheeks getting flush. "Well, anyway... What's up?" She adds turning the conversation back over to me. I run a hand through my hair and close my eyes in an effort to shield myself against embarrassment should she not like my proposal.
"So... Ummm, I was thinking... This is kinda out of the blue, seeing I just met you less than twenty-four hours ago and it was for like two seconds, but I could really use some distraction and was wondering if maybe you'd like to help me out and maybe keep me company by hanging out with me today... If you're not busy that is." I peer open one eye as if I'm a kid who is trying to peek at a surprise they are being given. There's a pause on the other end before the sweet new voice speaks again.
"That actually sounds like fun," she replies her voice giving away and un-seeable smile. "I have to technically work, but... You can come with. I'm just going to walk around and take pictures, it would be nice to have the company."
"Sounds like a plan. Where should I meet you?" I say, grinning to myself happy that I'll have the distraction from Emily today.
"If you give me your address, I'll just come to you," she answers, wasting no time. I give her where I'm staying before hanging up to hurry and get ready. Twenty minutes later, the doors to the elevator open to the lobby and I get out to find Alex already there, her leather camera bag slung over her shoulder. She's standing with her chin tilted towards the intricate ceiling of the hotel. I walk up to her with my hands in my coat pockets as she lifts her camera to her eye. When I reach her, she has taken a picture but only moves her camera to the side of her face, not bringing it down. I lean over her shoulder, slightly and say "Hey, there," causing her to turn around to look at me. "What's so interesting up there?" I tease with a wink before looking up at the ceiling myself.
"Oh you know, pretty stuff. Makes a good picture anyway." She shrugs her shoulders and smirks at me. "Ready to go?" She asks grabbing onto the strap of her bag that's running across her chest while rocking up onto her toes and back to her heels. She looks at me questioningly with those big green eyes and bites her lip and I can feel the butterflies in my stomach pick up. Is it even possible for someone to be adorable and sexy at the same time? Yes it is, I know someone else... No I will not think about the dark-haired girl that still haunts my dreams.
"Yup. So where are we going?" I question, turning on my heels to follow her out the door.
"Well I'm still working on this 'communing with nature' piece, so I think it feels like a pretty good day to take a stroll in the park," Alex answers, turning her head to glance at me. She continues to look at me, while turning her body, to take a few steps backward looking into my eyes the whole time. "Plus, it helps I have some good looking company," she flirts with a wink before completing the turn with her body and continuing to walk. The flirting causes me to pause for a minute, because it catches me off guard. I dip my head, shake off the surprise and jog up to catch her.
We spend the majority of the afternoon walking around the park, talking, taking pictures and people watching. I'm really have fun. It's been a long time since I've had a day like this.
"So, Paige McCullers, tell me what do you do for a living?" Alex inquires plopping down on the grass with the Popsicle she just bought from a guy with a cart. She looks up at me and pats the grass next to her signaling me to sit.
"Well," I begin, sitting down next to her. "Nothing at the moment. I just got back from active duty, a couple weeks ago."
"Oh…a solider girl..." She says leaning in to nudge my shoulder with hers. I let out a small breathy laugh and dip my head with a smirk when I hear the shutter of her camera click.
"Hey!" I exclaim, a little flirty. I don't care if she takes my picture but I figured it wouldn't hurt to play a little.
"I have been waiting all day to get this shot!" She exclaims, throwing a fist in the air. She looks at the screen on her camera, causing a satisfied grin to creep onto her face. "That little head dip you do, has got to be one of the cutest but also hottest, thing I've ever seen." The statement makes me blush.
As the sun begins to sets, several pictures and shoulder nudges later, we find ourselves back in the lobby of my hotel.
"I had a great time today," I say, turning around to look into her deep green eyes.
"Me too. I'm really happy you called me," she grins confidently. "I hope I can see you again sometime. I have an out of town assignment but maybe when I get back we can get together again?"
"I'd really like that," I say with a bashful grin and nod. I really did have a great time and being with this girl standing in front of me, helps me forget about the pain in my heart that longs for Emily.
"Awesome," she says looking down. Alex takes a slow step forward closing the space between us before looking into my eyes. She leans in and gives me a short yet sweet kiss on the lips before pulling back and looking into my eyes one more time.
"Good night Soldier Girl. See you around."
"Night," I say with a smile on my face. Today has been a successful day.
The next day, I decide I'm strong enough to make my way back to Rosewood. I find a used car dealership and get a good deal on an older Ford pickup. It's still in really good shape and it's drivable, which of course is what really matters. I start making my way down the highway, singing along to the radio, still fairly blissful from my time with Alex. It's then that I realize, that sitting on the bedside table in the hotel room I checked out of an hour ago, is the little, white card with the green-eyed girl's number on it. And, me being the genius I am, had left my turned-off cellphone in Rosewood, not knowing the new number by heart.
"Shit"