I wake up exactly how I know I will wake up for the rest of my life: in the loving, warm arms of Emily Fields. Before I even open my eyes, I'm greeted by her warm, soft, even breathe on the bare skin of my chest where her head is resting peacefully as she sleeps. My head is still buzzing from the day before; there is no way it can all be real. The slight tingle I feel from her skin on mine has to be a part of this dream. I'm afraid that once I open my eyes the dream will end. It will all be over and she'll disappear. The night before was too perfect to be real.
The look on Emily's face when I tell her I plan to make love to her all night is beyond sexy. Her eyes grow darker than I've ever seen, her smile displaying a mixture of mischief, passion and intense desire. The heat inside me grows stronger just looking into the depths of her dark eyes. I bring my lips back to hers for the maybe millionth time that day; a million not being nearly enough. I want more, I need more. I've been waiting years to feel her this way again, to move my body in rhythm with her again. I've dreamt and fantasied about those moans and whimpers of pleasure my touch elicits. I don't want to dream anymore. I can't wait any longer. There's no bra to remove since Emily's dress was open in the back so the only barriers remaining are mine and the white lace below me that barely passes as underwear. I position myself so that I'm kneeling between her legs and study every inch of her body, starting with her legs as I run my hands lightly up her shins continuing onto the inside of her thighs up to right below her hip bones where I hook my thumbs underneath the strings of her underwear, gently slipping them off. Looking back at her, I'm forced to pause at the flawless perfect woman lying before me. Her dark, smooth skin glows in the fading evening light flittering through the curtains. I begin to lean down, intent on kissing every inch, when she stops me.
"This isn't fair," she states with a sly smile, as she sits up. She slips her hands around my back and makes quick work of my bra and underwear, leaving us both bare. The anticipation is killing me and I can bare it no longer, so I lower my body onto hers slowly, feeling the fire rise in me as every inch of my skin that's connected to her aches from satisfaction. We moan together as we hold each other tightly, reveling in the feeling of our bodies pressed together so tightly that I'm surprised we didn't fuse our skin together. I can't get enough of her.
I begin kissing the soft skin of her chest as she runs her hands down my back and up my sides, over and over again. We're both extremely heated, silently begging for each other's touch. I finally decide we've both waited more than long enough so I dip my hand between us as I kiss the sensitive areas of her breasts. The sounds of pleasure escaping from her lips are sexy and beautiful. The buck of her hips when I finally reach my target, causes my desire to grow more than I ever thought possible. I work slowly, my rhythm matching hers. I watch as her eyes begin to roll back, her breathing getting heavier, her back arching more and more until her body eventually begins to pulse in time to her moans. I help her down from her high, slowing my rhythm and placing small loving kisses on her neck and lips. I'm still straddling her when she's capable to open her eyes.
"I love you, Emily," I whisper, staring into the deep, dark orbs looking back at me. She doesn't say anything, but she doesn't have to. Instead she pulls me down to kiss me deeply turning me over onto my back in the process before guiding me through the most amazing high, I've ever felt.
I definitely don't want to open my eyes. This dream can't end. I can't let it. I keep my eyes closed as I listen to her even breathing until she cuddles into my side further, causing me to grin. I chance opening my eyes, extremely happy at the result of my gamble when I see radiant dark hair, splayed across my chest. It's one of the most beautiful sights I've ever seen. I feel her shift in my arms some more before receiving a series of soft kisses up my neck that land on my lips.
"Good morning," she says smiling against my lips. I answer her with a smile and a deep, lingering kiss.
"Hi," I say, when I'm finally able to open my eyes again and look into hers. I can't wipe the silly smile off my face. She's really here. She's finally mine again. Our connection is even more intense and beautiful than before. I've never experienced that level of passion and love before. It was incredible. We stare at each other for a while, grazing our fingertips across the skin of each other's faces, proving to ourselves that the other really is here. I kiss her forehead and then the tip of her nose, ending with her lips once again. The contact makes me let out a small soft moan. Will I ever get used to having her lips on mine again? Probably not, but I wouldn't have it any other way. "You're so beautiful," I say as I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear with a grin. "What would you like to do today, Em?"
"I think, we should stay right here," she says with a content smile, snuggling back into me. I can't help but keep the goofy smile on my face and I've decided I just do not want to fight it anymore. The situation is still unbelievable. I'm so utterly happy.
"I like that plan," I say agreeing with her, "but would you like some breakfast first?" Emily always loved it when I cooked for her, which wasn't often but I can make one mean breakfast, "I have eggs and bacon..." She looks at me, pretending to think before agreeing to eat something before we spend a day burning a few more thousand calories together. She gets up and begins to head out, only putting on some underwear and one of my t-shirts.
"You're going to want to put on some pants," I state, knowing there's at least a sixty percent chance that Spencer has gambled with the possibility of dying in her sleep by my hand once again. Emily cocks her head to the side, non-verbally asking me to explain. I begin to answer, "Spencer..."
"Is being detained by my father," she interrupts with a smile. I smirk back, knowing she had asked him to keep her and the other girls busy somehow. I can only imagine the kind of tasks he is putting them through.
"Half naked breakfast it is then," I state, the excitement of the idea apparent in my voice. I throw on some underwear of my own along with a tank top as I walk toward Emily waiting at the door. We work together to make each other breakfast. By that, I mean, I make breakfast and Emily does her best to distract me by standing behind me with her arms wrapped around my torso, pressing kisses to the sweet spots on my neck. I managed to fry some bacon and scramble some eggs, without burning either, despite being pulled in to be given a deep passionate kiss over my shoulder that took my attention away from the stove. Now, I can't help but stare at her as I sit across from her while we eat. This is everything I've ever dreamed of for my life; starting my day off with the love of my life. My mind wanders back to recall a conversation I had yesterday.
"... But before you leave, I need to talk to Lieutenant McCullers...alone." I hear the captain's words right about the same time as a firm hand grips my shoulder. 'Uh oh' I think to myself as my eyes go wide and stomach drops. While he had been talking to Emily about the wedding not happening, I had turned my attention to Spencer to answer her questions about what Emily and I had said to each other before the almost-wedding. Now it's my turn to face whatever Captain Fields has to say about this whole ordeal. He seems to be happy to see me but if I never came back he wouldn't be paying for an event that never happened. As he pulls me off to the side, I send a worried glance to Emily and see that she looks about as worried as I do.
"Paige," Wayne begins when we are out of earshot. I stop him for only a moment in order to position ourselves so that Spencer can't see our mouths. If he pulled me out of earshot, he doesn't wanted Emily to know. He looks at me with a confused expression but I only wave it off, telling him to continue. "Paige, do you remember the conversation we had right before you left?" It takes me a moment to mentally time travel back to that moment four years ago when I last talked to him. Was he really talking about that moment?
"Uh, yes sir. I think so," I say hesitantly, my face showing the same caution.
"I know it's way too soon after all that's happened today, but I always thought you two were perfect together so I just wanted to let you know..."
Maybe he is talking about that conversation.
"...that whenever you feel ready again..."
I start to blush, positive he's talking about that very important question I asked him four years ago.
"…my answer is still the same." I smile at him, not knowing what else to do. This has to be what euphoria feels like.
"Sir, yes sir," I say plainly as my smile grows. "I'll be sure to wait. Wait till we're ready sir." I wouldn't do that to Stephanie anyway. She's a great person who loves the same woman I do and took care of her when I couldn't. She doesn't deserve any of this and I feel horrible since I know what she must be feeling. I can't say I'm not happy that Emily came back to me because that would mean I'd be lying through my teeth, but that girl definitely picked a very unfortunate moment to finally realize what her heart wanted.
"I love you Lieutenant," Wayne says almost too quiet to be heard. It's not often that soldiers will express their feelings for each other. We are taught, no trained, to keep it to ourselves but the two of us had developed an extremely special bond throughout the years that Emily and I dated. We really did love each other, in the same way that I love his wife; they are my adopted parents.
"I love you too, Captain," I say as he gives me a pat on the back. He leaves his hand there as we turn around to rejoin the group. "Must say, I love your daughter a lot more though, Sir."
Emily and I spend most of the day tangled together making up for lost time. Today may be in contention for one of the best days of my life. We are forced to break apart for a few hours in the afternoon when her parents call and ask to meet with her. They want to have a discussion about what happened yesterday as well as everything that needs to happen now. I stay behind, honoring Captain Fields request to have that conversation with Emily alone. I don't take it personally besides we'll be have dinner with them later in the evening. I pass the time relaxing on the couch, waiting for Emily to return to pick me up. She took my truck to meet them, since her car is across town at Hanna's. There's about thirty minutes left until three thirty (when Emily predicted she would return) when I hear a knock that doesn't belong to the TV. I expect to find there curious girls when I open the door so I'm completely shocked to find Stephanie standing out on the porch. Guilt fills me as I take in the sight of the worn woman in front of me, sadness written all over her face.
"Stephanie, hey..." I say with surprise apparent in my voice as I knit my eyebrows together in a nervous, guilty expression. I feel awful for what happened to her and it's all my fault.
"Hey... umm... Can I... I came to talk to Emily about what we are going to do about moving her things back here."
"I'm sorry Stephanie, she's not here right now," I reply casting my eyes to the ground, "She's talking to her parents about everything." Her face drops in realization that she'd have to muster more courage in order to come back again.
"Oh... Well, will you tell her I need to talk to her?" I feel bad, knowing this has to be extremely difficult.
"She's supposed to be back in about thirty minutes, you can wait here if you want," I offer in a feeble attempt to make up for being a part of her heartbreak. I can see in her face that's she's debating it, knowing it might be easier to tough it through sitting here than trying to coming back again. "Plus I have beer. And also whiskey if you need something stronger." The comment earns a soft but amused scoff. She looks up at me and I try my best to let her see I'm serious about helping her.
"Ok, yeah I could use a beer, thanks," she replies as she hesitantly walks past me through the door. I follow behind her to the kitchen and grab two beers when we get there, handing her one. She accepts it, takes a sip then leans forward so her elbows are resting on the counter in front of her. I watch as she fidgets with the label of her bottle, clearly she's nervous.
"I guess... I'll go upstairs until she gets here. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything," I say as walk past her to head for the living room stairs. She doesn't say anything but instead hangs her head and sighs. I pause in the doorway at the sound of the sigh.
"I'm sorry Stephanie," I state with my back still turned to her. She scoffs again.
"For what?" I turn around towards her astonished. For what? Is she serious? I shrug my shoulders and scrunch my face.
"For everything. For this, for yesterday, for everything that's happen since I came back," I hang my head, staring at the rim of my bottle as I run my finger in a circle around it.
"Paige..." She begins, rolling her head to look at me.
"No, Stephanie, we both know that if I hadn't come back, you two would be married right now. It's my fault she hurt you like this."
"Paige, sit down," she demands. I look at her hesitantly until I see her expression is serious so I sit down on one the stools. "Look, the only thing you did was stay alive." The look I receive from her is full of compassion and understanding. "Don't ever apologize for being alive."
I don't know what to think. Does she really not blame any of this on me? I dip my head, leaving it down because I still feel guilty and slightly ashamed. Did I really just apologize for being alive? Was that really my only crime?
"You aren't mad?" It's all I can think to say. I'm so confused.
"Of course I'm mad and I'm heartbroken. But that's not your fault," she replies with a deep sigh. "I'd love to be able to blame it on you, on anyone, so I don't have to be mad at Emily, but I can't." We lock eyes for a moment when we both look up. I can see the sadness and hurt in her eyes. "You didn't try to pursue her, you were just here. You supported her. You supported us. I can't be mad at you for loving the same woman as me, especially when that woman is Emily." I let out a small amused laugh at the last part of her statement.
"Yeah, she's pretty amazing, even when you're mad at her," I agree shaking my head slightly. She sighs again, taking a moment to keep her composure.
"That's for sure even now, it's hard to be mad at her," she admits as she takes a drink of her beer and moves to sit down in the stool across from me. "I don't know how you did it. It has to be horrible to have your heart ache for someone only to watch them be with someone else. I don't know how you did it. I certainly don't know how I'm going to." I let out a deep breath, knowing the pain she's feeling.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I wasn't going to make it much longer. It was one thing for you two to be dating but married?" I shake my head to emphasis my point. "I broke and walked out the door. If Emily hadn't stopped me, I would've been long gone by now. I was going to go home, pack what I needed and drive as far away from Rosewood as possible." I look up at her to see her staring at the now ripped up label on her bottle. "You want to know how I did it? How I was able to just let her be with you?" She nods yes, looking into my eyes as if she's pleading for me to help her find a way through this.
"I've always just wanted her to be happy and have a good life. Before I left, I made her promise she would move on and live her life. When I found out she had... That she found you, I told myself that I wouldn't interrupt her life more than I already had." I pause and look at her before taking another breath to continue, "I could see you made her happy, that you took care of her and allowed her to keep living her life. I will never be able to thank you enough for that. I'm just sorry it all happened the way it did and when it did."
"Yeah she doesn't have the best timing that's for sure," she remarks with an amused scoff causing me to laugh as well. I open my mouth to talk again but stop when I hear the door open and Emily's voice call out.
"Paige! I'm back!" She exclaims as she enters into the kitchen. "Here you ar... Stephanie."
Emily looks as if she's about to jump off a building. She goes ridged and the color drains from her face. She wasn't expecting this and I completely forgot to text her a warning, seeing as I was almost just as surprised.
"Hey Emily," Stephanie say sullenly. "Just wanted to talk to you about your stuff." Emily relaxes a little and looks to me. I give her a content nod, letting her know I'm ok without the words. They both look nervous and sad, not really sure how to begin.
"I'm going to go get ready for dinner," I say, breaking the short silence as I get up. "That way, you two can talk alone, if you don't need me." Both girls nod at me, so I start making my way past Emily to the door. I stop for a moment as I pass Emily to grab her hand. "If you need me, I'll be right upstairs," I whisper to her, receiving a nod. I squeeze her hand and continue out the door.
"Hey Paige..." I hear Stephanie say. I turn around in the door and look back at her. "Thanks for this." She lifts her bottle up slightly to indicate she's talking about the beer and our talk.
"Anytime," I reply with a small smile. I leave the two to talk and go upstairs to get ready for dinner, thinking about my conversation with Steph. The whole situation is just strange and confusing. All I know is that I hope that someday Stephanie finds her own soul mate, she deserves that.