Chapter 18:
I was walking around the hallways and it was almost curfew, when suddenly I ran into Fred. "There you are everybody's been looking for you! Where have you been hiding?" He asked. I just shook my head, "It wouldn't be a secret if I told you." I answered. In truth I had seen everybody looking for me when I was wondering the halls because I had the invisibility cloak on. Harry, Ron, and Hermione knew that and so were trying to feel around, but it just made them look like idiots. "Arrington, you should come back to the common room it's almost after hours." "Nah it's ok I won't get caught." I answered. I knew everybody was going to be waiting up for me and I didn't want that. "Fine, put on that cloak of yours, and I'll walk back in and say I couldn't find you." Fred said with a sigh. "How do you-" "Harry told us. Now come on." I put back on the invisibility cloak but made sure I was constantly moving so Fred didn't know where I was. I trusted Fred sure, but he also thought he was doing me more good by forcing me to do this so I had to be careful.
When we walked through the common room door I could see everybody was still waiting up to see if Fred found me. "So?" Harry asked. "I couldn't find her." Fred shrugged. "Thanks." I whispered in his ear when I passed him. I was about to go up to the dormitory when I realized nobody else was moving yet. Than I noticed George. He was quiet and just staring out the window like he had seen me do so many times before. My heart ached and I wanted nothing more to go comfort him, but I knew I couldn't. I was unlovable and it would only lead to heartbreak between us, and I couldn't stand that. So this had to be for the best right? But if it was for the best why was I so sad?
"We looked everywhere for her where could she be?" Ron asked. "Well she is invisible so that kind of makes it harder." Harry said being a little cynical. George without saying anything got up and walked off to bed. Fred sighed and said, "I was still deciding what I should tell him. It sucks he found out this way." Everyone nodded. "Why does she even feel that way though, it makes no sense." Fred said sitting down. "It's probably because of the family she lived with. Obviously her ideology of relationships is screwed up." Hermione said. "No, it's not that. I mean it is but it also isn't. I think she feels like if she ever got into a good relationship with somebody, but then it didn't work out she couldn't stand to hurt that other person. She's not even thinking about how hard it would be for herself." Harry said. And that was true. I didn't even think about how hard it would be for myself, and I guess it would tear me apart to live somebody and then not anymore.
"But can't she see that not trying it could hurt him more?" Fred asked. I froze at this thought. Was I really hurting him more now than later? "I don't know is she though?" Hermione asked. "Well I think so because if they try it and it's unsuccessful at least he knows it wasn't meant to be, but if they don't then he would live without knowing." Fred said. Forgetting that they didn't know I was here I walked out of the portrait. "Arrington!" I heard Harry gasp when he saw the door open but no one go out. "Shit." Fred said.
I was crying know. I couldn't even tell where I was going until I ended up in the clock tower. It was loud with the ticking noise, but it was also strangely too quiet. It gave me too much to think about. I started remembering how I hurt all of my friends by not being able to tell them what was going on, and how they had literally begged me to talk to them and I still wouldn't. I didn't want a repeat of that, and being with George it would be on a worse level, but know I'm hurting him by not doing it, and I didn't know what to do anymore. It felt like I was gasping for air yet I still wasn't breathing. "Arrington?" I heard a voice say. I instantly went quiet, and held my breath so the person wouldn't find me. I couldn't tell who it was yet, but my invisibility cloak was on the ground next to me, so the person might be able to see me. "Arrington, please come out, I can see you." I realized it was Harry. "How did you fit in there?" He asked me looking at me sitting in a small alcove of the clock. I shrugged. He noticed I was crying so he crawled over to me and sat by me, I leaned down on his shoulder and cried.
After a little while later when my crying stopped finally, Harry looked at me and said, "Arrington, you can't control how other people feel all the time. I know you don't want to hurt anybody, but sometimes you have to decide things for what's good for you not others. Do you understand?" I nodded. "It's not going to make this decision any easier, but think of yourself first for once please? Your almost too much of a caring person Arrington, and you've done more than enough for others it's time you did something for yourself. George will understand whatever your decision is, either he could end up hurt, but one way there is a possibility he couldn't you know?" I nodded realizing he was right. "And Arrington you don't have to decide right now. Just stop avoiding him, you don't have to talk to him about it yet if you don't want too." Harry said. "I don't want to decide yet but I do want to still be friends with him." I said my voice still a little shaky from all the crying. "Ok I'll talk to him, and tell him that you haven't decided yet but you also don't want to talk about it. Sounds good?" I nodded. "Thanks." I whispered. "Anytime."
A little bit after our talk we walked back to the common room, and but the time we got there it was already, 2:00am. Fred was in there sleeping, and I looked at him in wonder. "He tried to wait up for you. He felt really bad for... well yeah you know. He just wanted to apologize." Harry explained. I noticed how everybody was still down in the common room waiting for me again, but this time they all had fallen asleep. Harry was about to wake up Fred when I shook my head, "Just let him sleep, we need to talk about the Chamber of Secrets anyways." Harry just shrugged than went to wake up Hermione and Ron.
"Oh hey is she back yet?" Ron said waking up. Harry just nodded and pointed at Fred shushing him a little. Hermione than sat up hearing the commotion, and said "Arrington!" She said this a little too loud, and Fred woke up with a jolt. "I'm up! I'm up!" He said. "Arrington," he said rushing over to me and hugging me, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean what I said I was being stupid, your not hurting him-" "Fred" I said cutting him off, "it's okay just go to bed." He nodded and mumbled "I'm sorry." about a half dozen more times on the way up the stairs.
"So are you-" Hermione started but Harry just shook his head so slightly that I almost didn't notice. "What are we going to do about the Chamber of Secrets? Who could have opened it?" Harry asked. "Who do we know that thinks all muggles are scum? Malfoy. I bet he did it." Ron said. "What no..." Hermione started saying but I zoned out. I was trying not to think about anything and I was pretty tired because tonight I was supposed to sleep. I was yawning when I started listening in again. "What teacher would be so stupid to get us a book in the restricted section for a Polyjuice Potion? I mean nobody checks out a book like Moste Potente Potions unless they are making a potion."