Author's Note: I wanted to get this chapter out before PINOF 8 hysteria strikes!

Chapter 16
Home Truths

The Tube car was crowded, but Dan literally tuned the people out with the music coming from his earbuds. When a pregnant woman stepped in through the open doors, Dan was surprised to see that none of his fellow rude Londoners stood to offer her a seat. He immediately leapt to his feet to offer her his own spot, but suddenly the world was spinning and he felt unsteady. He tried to grab onto the metal railing, but felt himself falling before he could manage to stop his descent.

"Has anything like this ever happened before?" The voice was unfamiliar and seemed to be coming from a long distance away. Dan could feel that he was scantily clad beneath scratchy sheets and tried to remember how he'd gotten here. He couldn't seem to open his eyes, because he was fighting the urge to slip back to sleep.

"Well," that voice was much more familiar, "he did destroy the coffee table in our lounge once when he stood up too quickly."

"Yes, well, that appears to be what happened this time, as well. Witnesses reported that he stood up abruptly and then fell unconscious almost immediately afterward, striking his head on the way down. He has a mild concussion, but the CAT scans show nothing serious. We assume the loss of consciousness was simply due to his low blood pressure. He should be able to go home today if someone will be present to keep an eye on him. You were listed as his emergency contact … would you be able to care for him for the next couple days?"

"Yeah, that's fine. I'll stay with him."

And then Dan was asleep again.

The taxi ride home was a bit swirly and surreal, because Dan's head wasn't feeling quite right yet, but he was glad to leave the hospital. Phil had asked hesitantly if it was okay to take Dan to Phil's place instead of his own, because he'd feel more comfortable taking care of him there, and Dan had agreed, not really caring where he went as long as he got to lie down again and the world stopped spinning.

Phil helped him up the stairs to his flat and immediately settled him into his own bed, under the familiar blue and green sheets and duvet. Dan nuzzled his face into the pillow and smelled the scent of Phil's shampoo and felt happier than a man with a concussion should be able to feel. He closed his eyes again.

"I'll need to wake you up occasionally to make sure you're okay and that the concussion doesn't lead to something worse, but for now you can sleep here," Phil said gently. Dan made an inarticulate humming sound of agreement and cuddled comfortably under the blankets. He heard quiet footsteps receding as he fell back asleep.

Some time later, he was wakened by a soft touch to his shoulder. "Dan? I brought you your pain tablets and a glass of water. Is your head hurting?"

Dan groaned and rolled over onto his back, opening his eyes to a dim room and the face of his old flatmate looking down at him. He was grateful Phil had closed the curtains. "Yeah. Head hurts," he mumbled, taking the tablets and sitting up a bit to drink the water. Moving to sit up hadn't made his head swim as badly as he'd feared, so he hoped that was a good sign.

"If you feel like you're going to be sick, there's a bin here beside the bed. The doctor said that might happen, but that we shouldn't be too worried if it does. Do you feel sick?"

Dan shook his head, but was sorry he had. It made the pain in his right temple much worse. Also, his right shoulder hurt. "What's wrong with my shoulder?" he asked quietly, not wanting to speak too loudly lest it break his head open.

"You just strained it a bit when you fell. Do you remember falling on the Tube?" Phil sounded so nice. Phil was always so nice to him. Even when he didn't deserve it. Phil was just … nice.

Dan frowned slightly, trying to remember. "There was a pregnant woman," he said hesitantly.

Phil smiled at him. "Of course there was. And you must have stood to give her your seat. Except instead you pitched over and gave everyone on the train a scare when you fell unconscious."

"I fainted?" Dan asked in horror. He'd stumbled a few times when he stood too quickly, but he'd never actually lost consciousness before.

"A right proper swoon. In front of dozens of strangers," Phil grinned with remorseless glee.

Dan groaned, feeling humiliated. Well, he supposed the story could be fodder for a video someday. That's what he'd been telling himself the past several years whenever he embarrassed himself horribly.

"Are you still feeling sleepy?" Phil asked, and Dan was surprised to discover that he wasn't. Not as much, anyway. Phil continued, "Because if you want to relocate to the sofa, we could put on some anime or a film, and you could snooze out there if you like. I could heat up a tin of soup for you if you feel up to eating something."

"You're too nice to me," Dan moaned in self-loathing. He'd said all those cruel things to Phil, and he still hadn't even apologized, and here Phil was taking care of him anyway.

But Phil just chuckled quietly. "That's because I like you, you spoon. Now do you want to move out to the sofa or not?"

Dan decided that the sofa seemed like a fine idea, because he didn't want to just lie here in Phil's bed forever. Or maybe he did want that … a little too much. But when Phil went to help him stand, Dan noticed the fairy lights strewn across the headboard and glanced quickly to Phil's face for explanation. Phil blushed and didn't say anything at first. Then, finally, taking Dan's arm to help him rise from the bed, he said softly, "I just missed you is all."

On the sofa, Dan ate a bit of tinned soup, but it made his stomach feel funny, so he stopped after only a few spoonfuls and lay down with his head on the armrest. Phil put on Spirited Away, which they'd both seen multiple times, because he said it would be okay if Dan fell asleep and missed part of it, and then ran back to the bedroom to get the pillow and duvet to make Dan more comfortable. "Should I bring the bin, too, just in case?" he asked with a leery expression, but Dan said he didn't think he would be sick. He just wanted to rest.

So they watched the film together, and Phil snuck his chilly feet under the edge of the duvet so that they rested against Dan's feet, and it felt so homey that Dan didn't want to miss a moment of it but found himself slipping back into sleep against his will.

When he next woke, he was feeling much more himself. The film had ended, and Phil was asleep nearby, his glasses askew on his face where he pressed against the back of the sofa. Dan felt a rush of emotion so intense that he was glad Phil wasn't awake to see it on his face. How could he have let this go on so long without telling Phil how he felt, how sorry he was for the things he'd said? Phil had been so incredibly kind, and the least Dan could do was apologize for being such a wanker.

"Phil?" he whispered softly, not wanting to wake the other man if he was truly deeply asleep, but Phil roused immediately, lifting his head and looking toward Dan, then raising a hand to straighten his glasses.

"You okay?" Phil asked immediately. Of course he did.

"Yeah. Feeling much better, thanks. And I do mean that: thanks for everything you've done."

Phil shrugged, then stretched his arms up and to the sides, yawning, before replying, "It wasn't much."

"I don't just mean this," Dan continued doggedly. "Not just the concussion. I mean everything. I shouldn't have said those things I did when we fought last year. All you've ever done was help me and encourage me, and I threw it all back in your face."

Phil shrugged again, looking uncomfortable. "We don't have to go over all that again." He wasn't meeting Dan's eyes anymore.

Dan sat up, letting the duvet pool at his waist. "I think we do, because I've been feeling terrible about it for ages. Since before VidCon. I wanted to talk to you then, but … well … we were having such a good time together … I didn't want to bring up uncomfortable topics and maybe mess it all up."

Phil met his gaze again, and those pale eyes were wide with surprise. "Since VidCon? Why didn't you ever say anything?"

Dan nervously tried to pat his hair into place but was sorry when he accidentally touched his right temple, which was still quite tender. "I just didn't know what to say. I feel so awful about the whole thing!"

Phil leaned forward, urgency in his expression. "Don't! You were tired of the kind of videos we were making and you needed to go your own way, do something more important with your life. I've always understood that. You shouldn't feel guilty for finding what makes you happy!"

"But YOU make me happy," Dan blurted without thinking, then blushed when he realized what he'd said. "I mean, your videos have always made me happy, even before we ever met, and what you do is just as important as any of the more serious stuff I've been doing lately. It's just different, that's all."

Phil leaned away again, curling in on himself and avoiding Dan's eyes. "You don't really mean that. I know you…" he swallowed visibly, then continued, "I know you probably look down on my content, because it isn't as 'meaningful' as yours…"

But Dan interrupted him, "NO! That's what I'm trying to say! Your videos are just as meaningful, just in a different way. Making people happy is meaningful. Making people laugh is meaningful. Remember all those subscribers we met on tour, at all the meet-and-greets, how many of them told us how our videos had gotten them through tough times in their lives? That matters, Phil! That matters a lot!"

Phil bit his lip uncertainly. "But if you really felt that way, why don't you feel that way about your own content anymore?"

Dan sighed and unthinkingly ran his hand through his fringe, wincing again when he touched his temple. "I've been rethinking all that, ever since I had some long talks with Tyler before VidCon. You know how he does a lot of silly stuff, but does serious stuff, too. Well, he made me realize that I could do that. That I don't have to stop doing baking videos or gaming videos in order to make a difference in the world, that I can do all of it. Because…" he paused before continuing, "I was feeling like a fraud before, like I was just pretending to be so cheerful and happy … but being away from you … I've realized that I did feel cheerful and happy when we were together."

Phil's mouth was parted slightly now as he stared fixedly at Dan's face, looking startled. Then he stammered, "But I thought you and Louise … and your other friends…"

Dan rolled his eyes. "Do you really think anyone could replace you, Phil Lester? Because if you do, then you're a bigger idiot sandwich than I ever thought." He grinned.

Phil was smiling back now, that broad smile that changed his whole face and made him shine like the sun. "I've missed you so much," he admitted.

"I've missed you, too!" Dan said firmly, but then his voice was more uncertain when he continued. "Halloween's only a few weeks away … when I'm feeling a bit better … want to maybe…"

They'd been getting together to play games periodically since Summer in the City in August, but Dan wasn't sure how Phil would react to his suggestion.

But Phil finished for him, "You think … maybe a baking video?" His smile looked tentative now, as if he didn't want to get his hopes up.

"Or maybe … Spooky Week for the gaming channel? We haven't posted anything there since last year. It's probably growing cobwebs," he joked awkwardly.

But Phil's beaming smile was back. "Spooky Week? Really?" he asked, as if what Dan had said was too good to be true.

"I think it would be fun," Dan replied with a smile.

Author's End Note: Only 2 more chapters to go!