Hey guys, sorry for the wait for this chapter. I blame RL and three sick boys for keeping me busy. But on the plus side, this chapter is double the normal size, so hopefully that makes up for it.

Thank you to Kyla713 for looking this over, and to my girls Nikki, Heather and Packy for reading and hand holding.

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I had to force myself to leave the apartment the next morning to hand over my leave of absence papers, but I made sure to kiss her softly before I did. I didn't wake her: she looked comfortable and warm, I didn't want to disturb that.

My mom met me at the door, coffees in hand. She said she was there to make Bella breakfast and to hopefully get her to go out and be pampered. I kissed my mother's cheek and closed the door behind me.

Twenty minutes later, I stood outside of Dr. McCarty's office, leave of absence papers under my left arm. Just as I was about to knock, he opened his door, smiling wide as he ushered me in. He took the papers from my hands and insisted I sit down.

"It is nice to see you, Edward," he said, sitting down behind his desk before shuffling through the papers he took from me. "I'll get these processed as soon as you leave. I hope you don't mind, but I've let the department know of your absence. Although, not the reason. I figured if you felt they should know, I'd leave it up to you."

I nodded, feeling weighed down by the thoughts of about two days from then, Bella would be in that very surgical ward being operated on, and I couldn't be there in the room to make sure it all went smoothly. Suddenly, I was nervous, anxious and scared. What if something did go wrong? What if they find more and couldn't remove it? What if? What if? What if? I sighed and sat up straighter. "It is okay with me if you tell them why. I'm sure they will piece it together once they see her in the surgical suite and my family and her dad in the waiting room. To be honest, I don't think I can handle telling anyone else what is going on. I feel so... crushed. Helpless, even."

Dr. McCarty then stood up, turned his back to me and poured two cups of coffee before handing me one. He then came and stood in front of me, sitting on his desk. "It's hard to sit back and let other doctors care for our loved ones. Even more nerve-wracking when it is much more than just a common procedure. I'm not going to tell you that the hours will fly by, or that the wait will be easy, but I will reassure you that she is and will be in the best hands. In fact, I've even requested to be in the suite. Her surgeon stopped by when he was booking the OR, and he asked if I'd like to sit in, since his surgical fellow is out sick. I promise to keep you up to date as much as I can."

I took a drink of my coffee, letting the hot liquid make me feel more in the moment. "I appreciate that, I really do. I hate to even take a leave of absence, but I need to take care of her. I want to make sure she's okay, comfortable, happy. I don't want her to be alone at all through this. Even though I know she has my mom and dad. Her dad will be here." I rubbed my eyes and exhaled long and slow. "I can't explain it, I just need to see to it that she's okay." I tried to hold my emotions at bay. "I guess… I guess… I need reassurance that she isn't leaving me or this world. That by constantly caring for her, I know that everything possible is being done to prevent that. It's fucking scary to feel so out of control and try not to grab fate from God's clutches. I want that control, even though I know it's impossible, but I want her to live, really live."

For whatever reason, it felt good to let that all out. I felt some of the burden leave me. Although I still had a fair amount of weight on my shoulders. I felt better, not much, but better about the situation.

"She's going to do amazingly, Edward. She's young, and I bet she's a fighter. Don't worry about tomorrow so much. Focus on today and the moments you have. The more you worry about tomorrow, the more you'll miss all the tiny, amazing moments that today gives you. At least try to stop stressing so much, and go home and love that girl. I'll take care of the rest."

I finished my coffee, and Dr. McCarty took it from my hands, patted me on the shoulder and said he'd see me early Thursday morning.

When I returned to the apartment, it was quiet and empty. I wanted to text my mom to check in on Bella, but decided I better not. I wanted her to be able to relax and have fun while she was being pampered. I just wanted her to not have a care in the world while she was out with my mom.

A short time later, my phone rang, and Charlie's number came up.

"Hello, Charlie," I said, happy to hear from him.

"Hey, Edward. Was just calling to let you know that I've booked a flight for tomorrow. I leave Seattle at around seven in the morning, land at around one in the afternoon your time," he told me, the gruffness in his voice coming through.

"Sounds good. We'll be there. I'm sure you'll be hungry when you land, so we'll make plans for a late lunch."

"How is she, Edward? I know the surgery is Thursday. I'm nervous and not even the one having the surgery. How's my baby girl?" he asked, emotion seeping through his voice.

"Honestly, Charlie, I'm not even sure it has hit her fully yet. I mean, she was scared when we left the doctor's office on Monday, but other than that, she has pretty much been quiet about anything to do with the surgery. We're also trying to keep her busy and relaxed. She's currently at the spa and out to lunch with my mom."

"Ah, I wondered why I couldn't get through to her phone," he said, sighing. "I hate to see my little girl going through this. I wish that I could somehow magically take it all away for her, make it so she doesn't have to feel pain, fear and worry. She's too young for this."

I ran my fingers through my hair as I stood up and began to pace my living room. "She's so strong, though, Charlie. I think she gets that from you...well, that and her stubbornness."

"You know, you're probably right about that. I tried to talk her into finding a grad school here in Washington, but she was incredibly insistent that she go to Chicago. I knew then it had something to do with you."

After double-checking the flight information, we said our goodbyes and hung up.

Sometime later, Bella and my mom came through the door. Bella's face was fresh, her eyes bright and the most beautiful smile adorned her face.

"You guys have fun?" I asked, standing up to grab the bags that were in my mom's arms.

Bella nodded, her smile growing wider. "Today was the best day. I loved spending time with your mom. The stories she told me about baby Edward, though..." She hung up her hoodie, laughing as she went towards the fridge to grab a bottle of water.

I groaned and glared at my mom, who just smiled and winked at me. "What? She had to know how cute you were as a baby. In fact, I even showed her that pic of you in the bath after you decided to cover yourself with a lot of mud."

Bella began to laugh again and it was the sweetest sound. I couldn't be mad at my mom for telling her, not when it made her laugh like that. My mom gave me a look of, "See, that is why I told her."

My mother left a short time later, hugging the both of us before promising to be there after we picked up Charlie from the airport. Once she was gone, Bella opened one of the bags she brought in from being out with my mom and opened a box of chocolates. Fannie May adorned the top of the box, and I tried my hardest to hold myself back and not steal one.

Bella looked at me, shook her head and chuckled. "Your mom was right, you are a sucker for chocolate." She then handed me the box, smiling. "I got them for you, anyway." She kissed my cheek before sitting down on the sofa and turning the television on.

"You spoil me," I said as I sat down next to her and placed the box of chocolates on my lap, and then handed one off to Bella.

"I do not, Edward. You've done so much for me, especially lately." She bit into the chocolate, closed her eyes and let out a satisfied moan. "Oh. My. God. Now I know why your mom said you loved these. We are so getting more."

I laughed and pulled her closer to me as we settled in and watched some random movie. I didn't care what we were watching; all I cared about was holding her and hoping the next forty-eight hours went smoothly.

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I had never seen Bella as excited before as she was while we were sitting in the Airport, waiting for Charlie to arrive as her legs bounced in anxiousness. She couldn't remain seated for long either. I laughed at her, which earned me a playful glare.

"What?" she asked, crossing her arms. "Do you have a problem with me being excited to see my dad?"

I held in the laugh that time, almost failing as I looked at her face and the playful smile she was sporting. "No, not at all. Sometimes a girl just needs her dad." I stood up in front of her and pulled her into my arms, kissing the top of her head as she tightly held on to me.

"Yeah, well, sometimes a girl just needs her boyfriend, too. Who happens to be all sorts of amazing." she said, looking up at me. She raised herself up on her tippy-toes to kiss me. I deepened it, tracing my tongue along her bottom lip, nipping at it gently.

"Ahem," a gruff voice said. I knew immediately that it was Charlie.

Bella quickly pulled herself from my arms, only to fling herself into her dad's. Eventually, they parted, and we headed off to the baggage carousel to pick up Charlie's bags.

Once we were back at my car, Bella told her dad to sit up front with me so that he would be more comfortable, while she sat directly behind me. She looked up in my rearview mirror and met my eyes, flashing me a smile before looking out her window as we began to make our way out from the airport and the nightmare that was Chicago traffic.

"So, guys, I've booked myself a hotel near you. I'm afraid you both are stuck with me for two weeks." he said, looking back at Bella, winking. I wanted to tell him he could stay with us, but I also knew space was limited. "It's all I could get off, but I'll do my best to get more time, if I can."

That afternoon went by fast. Faster than I wanted it to. We had fun going out to lunch with Charlie and my parents. By dinnertime, I could tell Bella was exhausted and nervous. She barely ate anything, shoving food around her plate, taking small nibbles here and there. Charlie and I shared worried looks. Bella wouldn't be able to eat or drink after midnight, and who knew how long it would be before she could eat solid foods and holding it down after surgery.

After dinner, we said goodnight to Charlie and dropped him off at his hotel, reminding him that we would be there at six in the morning to pick him up on our way to the hospital. My parents went back to our apartment, mom insisting on making Bella one more light snack and tea, so that she would at least have something in her tummy. My dad sat on the couch with her while my mom fretted about in the kitchen. He held her close to him, and I watched him kiss the top of her head softly while she snuggled further into him. They were quiet, but I think my dad knew there was nothing he could say to take her fear and anxiety away. They left soon after Bella finished her tea, both of them hugging her on their way out.

Time seemed to slow down as we went through our nighttime routines. It felt sluggishly slow. I just wanted it to speed up so that we could be done with the surgery, done with the hospital and back home. However, I knew that Bella was most likely feeling the opposite; dreading the surgery, not wanting time to hurry up.

I crawled into bed next to her, wrapping us both up in blankets as I held her close.

"Will you cuddle me all night, never letting go?" she asked, her voice quivering more each word she spoke.

I held her tighter to me and kissed the back of her neck. "I'll never let go, Bella. Never. I'll hold you forever." I wasn't sure when, but sometime later, we fell asleep, waking up to the alarm in the same position, my hold on her just as tight as it had been when we went to bed. I hated having to wake her up, but I knew we needed to get a move on.

She opted out of taking a shower. She stayed in her pajamas, figuring she'd just have to change into a hospital gown once she got situated at the hospital and checked in for surgery.

We picked up Charlie on the way; my parents would meet us in the lobby. Bella was really quiet, and I couldn't blame her much. I would have been too if I were facing a huge surgery. I grasped her hand in mine, squeezing, silently telling her it would all be okay. She turned and faced me, giving me small smile, before looking back out her window.

Her face paled a bit once we pulled up to the hospital and parked. Charlie actually had to be the one to get her out of the car. If we had given her the option, she probably would have stayed. Charlie had to bribe her with the promise that he'd order her some goodies from Washington that were her favorite and new books. He pulled her up out of the car and into his arms, where he held her tightly as she clung to him. He looked over at me, tears in his eyes as he tried to rein in his emotions, kissed the top of her head.

My dad noticed us first as we made our way in the lobby. He then pulled my mom up and walked over to us. Bella was clinging to my side as her dad held her hand. My dad offered a smile and opened his arms to her, which she gladly went into. All of us then put our arms around her, giving her one giant hug.

It was clear we all needed that, probably as much as she did.

We checked her in, and they immediately took her back. They wanted to tell us to all wait out in the waiting room, but it was my dad and I that finally convinced them to allow us to be with her until she was taken to the operating room itself.

The nurse took her vitals and a few vials of blood, and then had her change into the gown, promising to be back shortly to set her up to the monitors and start an IV.

Bella asked me to stay back to help her into the gown. I turned around while she undressed, and once she said she was ready for me to tie the gown, I turned around to help her. My fingers accidentally brushed her bare back as I tried to get one of the ties. I noticed the shiver and goose bumps that took over her skin. I wanted to touch her skin again, hoping to cause the same reaction, but I knew deep down, it was probably due to nerves, rather than my touch alone.

Everyone returned to the room after I got her situated into the bed. It was so quiet, it seemed we didn't know what to say or do, only that Bella needed us to be there. It didn't matter if we said anything at all; she just needed our presence.

The nurse returned and began to set her up to the heart monitor and pulse ox machine. She then readied the IV, causing Bella to turn away and hold out her arm. I went to her, placing my hands on her face, looked into her eyes and told her she was doing wonderfully, probably way better than any of my patients.

I at least received a smile for that.

Dr. Doukas then came in, followed by Dr. McCarty, who flashed a dimpled grin at Bella. She looked puzzled by seeing another doctor, so I introduced them.

After introductions, Doctor McCarty then came up to Bella's bedside and took her hand. "I'm really here as a favor to Edward, and to assist Dr. Doukas. You mean a lot to Edward, therefore you mean a lot to us in this department. I know you're probably scared and nervous, but you are in the best hands. I can promise you that."

Bella nodded and thanked him, even giving him a smile as well. Doctor Doukas went through the plan and the allotted surgery time, even reiterating that it could take longer. There were things that could crop up, and though he didn't expect something longer than three hours, but he took out five hours on the surgery schedule. He then asked Bella if it came to the a point that he needed to take more than they talked about, if should he go ahead? She shakily nodded yes, and told him that she trusted his judgment.

The doctors left, telling us that she would be taken back in about ten minutes, and to go ahead and say what we needed to. My mom was the first, bending down to Bella, and wrapped her arms around her, kissed her cheek and told her she'd be waiting out in the waiting room.

My dad was next. "You, my dear, will do amazingly and I look forward to seeing you in a few hours. Don't you worry about a thing, okay? We will all be here waiting for you." He then hugged her and whispered something in her ear, which made her laugh and smile. She looked up at him and said thank you, pulling him down to kiss his cheek.

Her dad stepped up and I could tell he was a ball of emotions, trying so hard to keep them all at bay, and failing. Bella pulled him down and hugged him, telling him not to cry, that he'd make her cry and no one wanted that. She also reminded him of his promise out in the car, and that he'd better get on that. He left the room before he could break down even further, blew her a kiss before leaving through the curtain.

I was last, and I didn't know what to say or how to feel. I just wanted to wrap her in my arms and not let go. Instead, I bent down and kissed her, long and slow. Savoring every movement of our lips and breath shared. I wrapped my arms around her the best I could, hugging her tightly. The nurse interrupted my final moments with her as she readied Bella's bed to take her to the OR. I squeezed her hand before I turned and began to leave. I looked back and said, "I think you should know that I love you, and I'll see you in a few hours." I blew her one last kiss.

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The first hour went by agonizingly slow. I tried to read, but it didn't hold my attention long at all. Charlie brought us all some coffee, which settled in my stomach like a rock.

The second hour was even worse. I couldn't stop watching the clock, even though I knew she still had a while to go yet.

The third hour came and went with no news.

The fourth hour brought on pacing. I was anxiously pulling at my hair, asking my dad repeatedly why it was taking so long. He couldn't offer me any reassurance. The worry on his face gave him away. Half way through the fourth hour, Charlie's phone went off. I could tell immediately that it was Renee calling. He told her she was still in surgery, and that he promised to call her once she was awake. Renee, in my opinion, had it easiest. She wasn't as worried and close to it as we were, but on the other hand, she was missing out on being there for her only child.

The fifth hour came and I was falling apart inside. Every possible scenario flashed through my mind, which didn't help things. At all. Especially since I was a doctor. All the worst possible scenarios stayed at the top of my thoughts.

What if she crashed on the table? What if they can't bring her back? What if I've somehow lost her before we really began? I can't lose her. Just not possible.

Finally, thirty minutes into the fifth hour, doctor McCarty finally came through the double doors, looking the most stressed I've ever seen him before. We all stood up, my mom grasped mine and Charlie's hands as my dad placed his hands on my shoulders.

"We just wrapped up. Dr. Doukas is closing her up right now. We ran into a few unexpected problems, but know that she is okay and did wonderfully. We did take the right ovary, Fallopian tube and a third of her uterus, which was more than we had wanted to. Dr. Doukas wavered on taking the left ovary, but he hopes the chemo will get rid of the pre-cells that we saw. After that, we did notice something on her liver, so we ended up taking that little part for biopsy, as well. We're hoping it hasn't spread. Though, if chemo doesn't take care of the left ovary, she'll face another surgery. Anyway, she should be on her way to recovery now." Dr. McCarty then went back through the double doors, returning to the OR.

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It took another hour and a half before a nurse came back to get us to take us back to where Bella was in recovery. She was awake, not completely coherent when we entered the room, but smiled at us nonetheless. A short time later, they came to take her to the room she'd be in for the next week or so. We followed behind, not wanting to be far from her.

Later that afternoon, Bella was more with it and awake when the nurse came in to check on her and take another round of vitals, asking if she needed more pain medicine before she checked Bella's surgery site. She lifted the sheets and gown, making sure not to show anything Bella didn't want to see. But I could tell the moment Bella saw all of the staples and stitches that held her closed.

"H-how..." Bella cleared her throat. "How many?"

"Around forty staples and close to seventy internal stitches," the nurse replied as she changed the dressing."

A sob ripped from Bella as she threw her head back and tears escaped her eyes. I rushed over to her and tried to comfort her as I kissed her tears away.

"I don't think I was ready… didn't think it would be so much..." Bella whispered.

What do you say to that? How could I reply? Because really, how are we ever prepared for things such as this?

The truth is, we never are; we never could be.

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So, how are you all? Thoughts?

If any of you would like to follow me on twitter, you can find me at myheroin1. Thank you for reading.