Chapter Fourteen

Surprise, Surprise

Rayna stretched and moaned, snuggling deeper into the covers on the bed. Their bed - with her favorite pillow nestled under her head and the soft cotton sheets she'd bought on sale wrapped around her. Their bed, so familiar and so comforting. In their dream house, where the soft morning fog settled over the lake on cold December mornings just like this one.

She took a deep breath and smiled to herself, thinking about Deacon and what had happened between them the night before. Being here with him – in their house, in their room, in their bed - was the thing that made Rayna happiest. Even performing came second to this.

She had been afraid, all these months, that she would never be back here again. And yet, here she was. Today is a special day, she thought, stretching again and beginning the laborious process of rolling her ungainly body from her left side to her right, bringing up her knees first and then hoisting up her backside and shifting her weight, her belly following slightly behind her as she turned.

"Good morning," Rayna started to say, but Deacon was not beside her. She blinked, contemplating the empty bed, then raised her head a little and peered around the room. "Babe?" she called softly, her eyes widening. Her heart started to beat a little faster.

It's okay.

Rayna reached her hand over and ran her fingers across his pillowcase and then down his side of the bed. It was cold.

Don't worry, he's here. He's fine.

She pushed herself up on an elbow and craned her neck, looking through one door into the hall, and then through the other, into the master bath. Both empty.

Don't panic.

Rayna reversed the rolling process, returning to her left side and pushing herself up into a sitting position on the edge of the bed, contemplating the sight of her wrinkled clothing on the floor. She braced her feet and slowly stood up, then walked heavily over to his closet, one hand rubbing the stiffness at the small of her back, and opened the door.

Plaid shirts and denim shirts and blue jeans. Black dress pants and a couple of dress shirts – white and black, each paired with a bolo tie. A large collection of belts, and two black jackets. And on the floor, his boots lined up neatly. Rayna dug around in the back, shoving aside winter coats and scarves and sweatshirts, and pulled out a bathrobe. Lamar had given it to Deacon one Christmas during a short-lived truce. He'd never worn it, but he would never let her give it away, either. She put it on, struggling a bit with the belt, only barely able to pull it closed over her stomach. She looked at her bulk in the mirror, winced, and looked away.

Where in the hell is he?

She went to the bathroom, swishing some toothpaste around her teeth with a finger and running a brush through her hair. Then she tip-toed out to the living room, holding her breath.

This is not happening again.

The living room couch was empty. So was the one in the den. And in the music room.

What the fuck…?

Rayna peered out the sliding glass windows in back, barely noticing the fog-shrouded lake. His truck was there, just where they'd left it the night before. She took a deep breath, trying to stop her hands from trembling, and walked to the kitchen. Once there, she went through a familiar ritual: Opening drawers and cabinets – behind the rice and beans; at the back of the broom closet; high above the spice jars.

Nothing. Not a bottle anywhere.

A muffled creaking noise and a sound like the rustle of sheets stopped her in her tracks. She walked back down the hall where he had led her the night before. The door of the new nursery was just barely ajar. Rayna held her breath again, pushing it open ever so slowly.

Deacon was there, asleep in the twin bed. He was on his back, arms crossed loosely over his bare chest, with the colorful animal-print bedspread pulled up over his abdomen.

Is he …?

She crept into the room, the wood floor creaking a little under her bare feet, and looked around. Nothing. No bottles, no broken glass; only his shirt and jeans, lying where she had stripped them off him just a few hours earlier. He looked peaceful. She approached the bed and laid her hand softly on his shoulder.

"Hey."

He stirred, opening his eyes and looking at her, then closing them again and stretching. He smiled, rolling over and reaching his hand out for her. She sidestepped his grasp.

"Hey, darlin'. Good mornin'," he mumbled sleepily, mid-yawn.

"Are you okay, babe?"

"Yeah," he said, moaning a little and passing his right hand over his face. "Just tired. What time is it?"

Rayna breathed a sigh of relief, then shut her eyes and let her head fall backwards.

Deacon opened his eyes more fully and looked at her, standing in front of him.

"What's the matter, darlin'? You feelin' okay?"

She sank down heavily on the edge of the twin bed, her back to him, and dropped her face into her hands. "What the hell are you doing here, Deacon?" she asked, wearily. "Jesus – you scared me to death."

"Baby – why?" He stared at her, his eyes wide. Then a glimmer of understanding passed over his face. "Oh god, Rayna," he said, rolling onto his back and starting blindly up at the ceiling. "You thought … because I wasn't there when you woke up …"

Rayna nodded, her eyes still closed.

Deacon inhaled deeply and exhaled audibly. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry. I didn't even think-"

"Of course you didn't think! Why would you, Deacon? You don't know what it was like! You don't even remember any of it!" The room was not cold, but Rayna shuddered.

Deacon was momentarily stunned. He'd known they would have to talk about this eventually, but he hadn't expected it to be so soon. He propped himself up on an elbow and reached out to stroke her back. "It's not fair. I know that, Rayna. I hurt you real bad, and now I don't even have to deal with the crappy memories," he said quietly.

She sighed, still looking down at the floor. "You've got plenty of bad memories, babe. I'm glad you don't have to deal with this one, too. I'm sorry - I shouldn't be making such a big deal out of nothing."

"It's not nothin', babe. You don't trust me. That's what this is about."

She turned her head and looked him, her eyes full of tears. "Deacon, I-"

"I don't blame you, Rayna. There's no reason you should trust me. I haven't been trustworthy." He sighed again and then he took her hand, pushing the covers down and patting the mattress next to him. "C'mere, baby."

"What?"

"Just get in here with me a minute, darlin'."

Rayna stared; he was so sincere. His hair was tousled with sleep and his bare chest looked so sexy. He had shoved the bedspread down below his naval and Rayna could tell that he wasn't wearing anything underneath the covers. She swallowed hard, a pang of desire flaring up through the hurt in her stomach. "This bed's not big enough for the both of us, babe," she murmured.

"Sure it is," he said, scooting back up against the wall and patting the mattress again, yanking gently on her hand. "C'mon, darlin'."

She rolled her eyes, but let a small smile escape her lips as she stood up and started to climb in next to him, still holding his hand. He reached up and untied the belt of her robe.

"Is this the one Lamar gave me - like, a hundred years ago?"

"Yeah. I found it at the back of your closet."

"Well, you don't need it in here. I'll keep you warm."

She dropped the garment off her shoulders and let it slip to the floor as she wedged herself awkwardly into the bed next to him. He brought the covers up and she slipped her left arm across his chest. The bed was so small she was practically on top of him.

"I'm squashing you, babe."

"No you're not, darlin'. You're fine. It's ... cozy."

She laughed softly and tilted her head back so she could look up at him. "You know what? You're a terrible liar when you're sober."

He chuckled, then he ran the fingers of his right hand over her hair, tucking a loose strand behind her ear. He leaned over and kissed her softly, pulling his head back to look into her eyes and rubbing his nose against hers. "I didn't mean to scare you, darlin'."

She caressed his cheek. "I know you didn't," she said. She looked at him a moment, then her face took on a quizzical expression. "What on earth are you doing over here, anyway?"

"Uh …," he started, looking vaguely embarrassed.

"Deacon?"

"Um … you …" he stopped, an evasive look in his eyes.

Rayna shook her head, baffled. "Deacon - what is it?"

"Well, you were … snorin' a little bit, baby," he said, wincing.

Rayna gasped and her eyes got wide. "What!? Was I?"

"Just a tiny bit. You stole all the covers and you were lyin' on your back. I didn't have the heart to wake you up and make you turn over. So I just came on over here to catch a couple hours' shut eye."

Rayna flushed, annoyed. "Well, it must be the baby, making me snore," she huffed. "I guess if I disturb you so much, you should just sleep over here all the time once I move back in."

"Yeah, there's no way that's gonna happen, Ray," he said, grinning and trailing the back of his hand down her bare arm, raising goose bumps on her skin. "But once you move back in? You might wanna pace yourself, especially in your condition. You about tuckered me out last night."

She gasped again. "More like you wore me out, babe! Who was wide awake and raring to go at 3 in the morning?"

"Hey, now, don't go blamin' me, Ray - you started it. I was just followin' your lead," he protested, his eyes twinkling as his hand crept under the covers and down the side of her body. He held her gaze, smiling wickedly as he slid his hand over her bottom, squeezing one cheek and then giving it a couple of pats.

"Oh you're just having the best time teasing me - aren't you?" she asked, gigging and leaning up to kiss him.

"One of my favorite occupations," he said. "Guess I'd have to say it's my second favorite."

Rayna laughed again and whacked his shoulder playfully.

"What? I meant after playin' my guitar, Rayna! You sure got a dirty mind for a pregnant woman."

Both of them laughed at that and he drew her closer, pressing a long kiss into her forehead. They lay quietly for a few minutes, then Deacon laughed again and shifted his body over onto his side, facing her.

She looked up at him. "See? I am squashing you, babe."

"Naw," he said, reaching down and rubbing his hand over her belly. "It's just …"

Rayna looked at him. His eyes were shining down at her full of love. "It's your daughter, kicking you," she said softly, her eyes never leaving his.

"Yeah, it's my …." He stopped, looking confused. "It's the … what'd you say, Ray?"

Rayna smiled broadly and she nodded, bringing her hand up to his face and tracing her finger along his jaw. "I said your daughter must be kicking you."

He stared hard at her. "Rayna?" he asked, looking like he'd just had the wind knocked out of him. "What're you sayin,' darlin'? The baby … it's – it's a …?"

"Mmm-hmm," she affirmed, smiling and continuing to caress his face, then leaning in to kiss him. "We're having a little girl, Deacon. What do you think of that?"

A huge smile spread over his face. "We ... we are, darlin'!? I mean - you're sure, Ray?!"

She nodded, watching as joy overcame him. "I'm sure, Deacon. Dr. Madsen told me a long time ago. Way back when she did the paternity test."

Deacon broke out laughing and then he hugged Rayna so hard she squealed a little until he relaxed his grip. He kissed the side of her head. Then he kissed both her cheeks and her mouth.

"I guess you're happy, babe."

"Yeah, I'm happy. I just – a little girl…." He shook his head in amazement, still trying to grasp this news.

Rayna caressed his chest. "I'm sorry. I guess I should have told you sooner."

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Don't be sorry, darlin'. You and me about been to hell an' back, these last few years. You risked everythin' on me, and you got burned over an' over again. It's gonna take a while for me to earn back your trust. But I'm gonna do it." He kissed her and then rolled over onto his back, a broad smile on his face, one hand still caressing her belly. "A little girl …."

Rayna watched him. She had suspected that the thought of raising a boy would be daunting to him, given what he'd gone through - and what his father had gone through before him. She could see that her hunch was right - he was very glad about having a girl.

"Oh my, my," she said, shaking her head.

"What?"

"I think somebody's gonna have her daddy wrapped right around her little finger."

Deacon looked over at her and smiled. "Just like her mama does?"

"Yeah, right," Rayna said, the two of laughing again as he continued to rub her belly in the spot where the baby was kicking vigorously.

Then he leaned down and began kissing her stomach, repeatedly. "I been wantin' to do this for a long time," he murmured.

Rayna stroked his hair. "I guess I'd better get up before too long," she said. "I promised Tandy I'd go Christmas shopping with her today. And we've got about five million things to do before I move back in here. Hmm ... I wonder if it's too late to get out of my lease at the end of the month?"

Deacon straightened up and lay beside her again, taking her face in his hands and looking serious.

"Rayna…"

"What is it, babe?"

"Darlin', I want us to get married."

"We will, Deacon."

"No - I mean now. Before the kid … before our little girl's born."

Rayna stared at him in shock. "Now, Deacon?!"

Deacon nodded, urgently. "Yeah. Now."

"Babe - you can't be serious! I mean, you honestly want me to get married looking like this?" Rayna raised her hands and looked down at her belly. "What am I gonna wear, a pup tent? You must be joking!"

"I never been more serious in all my life, darlin'," Deacon said. "I'm not talkin' about you walkin' down the aisle in church or wearin' a white dress or anythin'. I'm just talkin' about us gettin' to a justice of the peace and makin' this thing legal." He caught the dismayed look on her face and added, quickly: "I mean, we can have a church weddin' too, with a big, fancy shindig if that's what you want, after. We'll do that, whenever you decide you want to. But I wanna make an honest woman out of you, darlin'. And I want our little girl to have a real family when she comes into this world – the kind with a mama and daddy who are married to each other."

"Who've you been talking to, Deacon, your Aunt Sallie?"

He set his jaw and looked at her, an intensely stubborn look creeping over his face. "Ray, this – it's important to me."

"Yeah, I'm getting that. You know what? It's important to me, too, really. But we've come this far without the blessing of the state. Why are you so fired up about doing it right now?"

"This isn't new, Ray. This is somethin' I've been wantin' for a long time."

"I know."

Deacon threw the covers back and hoisted himself up on his elbows, starting to get out of the bed. He stopped when he realized that he was trapped between the wall and Rayna's body. "Hey," he said, reaching over her and pointing to the nightstand. "Reach in there for me, will you?"

"Huh?" she asked, looking confused. He pointed again to the nightstand, where the little Christmas tree was set up. Rayna rolled awkwardly onto her back, nearly falling out of the bed in the process. Deacon grabbed her at the last moment, holding on to her while she reached over and groped under the boughs of the fragrant miniature evergreen. Her hand found something square and hard and she pulled it out to look at it: A small package wrapped in red-and-green striped Christmas paper. "What's this?" she asked, settling herself safely onto her back and turning her head to look at him.

Deacon had a serious expression on his face.

"Deacon?"

"Open it."

"Babe, what is it?"

"I was gonna give it to you for Christmas, darlin'. But this seems like it might be the right time."

Rayna's eyes were wide and she looked apprehensive. "Okay …" she said slowly, tearing the Christmas paper off to expose a small, red velvet box. She looked over at him, her eyes wider than ever.

"Go on, Rayna."

She took a deep breath, then cracked open the box, gasping a little. Inside sat the now-familiar diamond-studded wedding band – the one he had given her right in this house, nearly eight months earlier. But that ring was not alone. Perched next to it was another ring. This one looked identical, except that it was graced with a sparkling diamond solitaire.

"Deacon?!" Rayna said, looking up at him in surprise. "This - it's beautiful! What … when did you …?"

He smiled. "Do you like it, darlin'?"

She nodded, smiling and looking back at the matching engagement and wedding rings shining up at her. The round cut of the solitaire mirrored the small diamonds in the bands, giving the set a stylish, cohesive look. "Is this silver?"

"White gold."

"White gold! Oh, they're gorgeous. I love them, I really do. But – what …?"

Deacon propped himself up on his elbow, so he could look at her. "I kept tryin' and tryin' to remember that night, Ray - any part of it. I wanted that so bad. I knew where I bought the ring, so I took it in there a couple months ago, hopin' maybe that'd jog my memory."

Deacon rubbed a hand over his jaw, shaking his head and smiling, ruefully. "It didn't, really. But the guy who owns the place remembered me. He said I came in last spring and bought the wedding band, but I told him I couldn't afford the engagement ring. He showed it to me again and I decided to put a deposit down on it."

Rayna listened, struggling to digest all of this. "That's – is that why you've been working so hard lately, babe?"

"Yeah. I mean, partly. I wanted you to have the real thing, darlin'. You deserve it." He kissed her forehead. "Anyway, I finally made the last payment a couple days ago. I went in and had them wrap up the both of 'em together. I was gonna give this to you for Christmas."

"Oh Deacon …" Rayna was overwhelmed. She hadn't even had time to think about getting him a Christmas present yet.

"Do you really like it, darlin'?"

"I love it, babe."

"Will you … put it on? I mean, will you …?"

Rayna held her breath. He looked at her soberly, his eyes full of emotion

"What I'm sayin' darlin', is – I love you. I love you with all my heart. You mean everythin' to me; you and this little girl of ours. I couldn't ever love anyone else. I couldn't imagine sharin' my life with anyone else. I guess what I'm tryin' to say is: Rayna, will you marry me?"

He took the box from her hand and pulled out the diamond ring. She smiled at him, her eyes moist. "Yes, of course I will," she said softly, as a tear rolled down her cheek. Then she reached for the back of his neck, drawing him toward her and kissing him softly. "I couldn't imagine loving anyone else either, Deacon. I did take a risk on you, you're right. But I'm so glad I did." She looked down at her stomach, wedged up against his body. "We're both glad."

He smiled and slipped the ring onto her finger. She took a few minutes to admire it before kissing him again, softly at first and then with more ardor. Deacon put his arms around her back and nuzzled her neck, laughing a little. "Are you surprised, baby?"

"Yeah I'm surprised, babe. I guess I just – I didn't realize you were still thinking about this."

"Course I was, darlin'. I been thinkin' about it all this time. I just want to be worthy of you. I want us to do this thing as soon as we can."

"Well, I can't exactly get on a plane and go to Vegas, Deacon. I don't think they'd let me even if I wanted to."

"I know. Just ... leave everythin' up to me, okay? I got some ideas. And you can trust me this time, I promise."

"Okay, babe. But let's keep this real quiet, okay? Last thing we want to see splashed all over those gossip rags is a picture of me getting married, looking like one of these hippos here," she said, fingering the bedspread.

Deacon laughed. "Least the hippo's playin' guitar, Ray. Better than lookin' like the elephant with the trumpet."

Rayna laughed, too. "So - when is this all gonna happen?"

"I'm thinkin' right after New Year's. No better way to start out 2000, right? And then, after our little girl comes, we can do it up however you want, darlin'. I'll put on a tux, I'll stand up with you in church – hell, I'll even dance with Lamar if you want me to."

Rayna smiled at him and they began kissing again, Deacon's hands wandering over her body, which was quickly becoming familiar to him once more.

"Deacon... " Rayna murmured between kisses. "What are we gonna tell her someday, when she asks how you proposed?"

"I dunno," Deacon said, still kissing her. "I guess we'll make up somethin' romantic."

"I think this is romantic, babe. And it's even better than last time. You know why?"

"Um ... 'cause you got me here in bed with you, naked?"

Rayna smiled. "Yeah, well there's nothing wrong with that. But also, it's because this time - it feels real."

"It is real, darlin'. And you know what else? This is one proposal I'm never, ever gonna forget."