Author's Note: For those of you asking, I swear the story will answer your questions. Thanks for all the reviews. They definitely make my day. Other random-ass news, I'm getting sick. Boo! But that just means I won't feel like doing anything, SO I'll get more writing in. More Salvatore action this chapter! :D Enjoy!
I DO NOT OWN VAMPIRE DIARIES OR THE CHARACTERS.
Music Credit: "How Do You Love Someone" by Porcelain Black
Chapter Four:
~*.*~
'Mama never told how to love.
Daddy never told me how to feel.
Mama never told me how to touch.
Daddy never showed me how to heal.
Mama never set a good example.
Daddy never held mama's hands.
Mama found everything hard to handle.
Daddy never stood up like a man.
I've walked around broken,
Emotionally frozen.
Getting it on, getting it wrong.
How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling through the dirt?
So far in my life, clouds have blocked the sun.
How do you love? How do you love someone?'
~*.*~
I stretched and got out of bed. I grabbed some clothes and headed to the bathroom. I'm in such a good mood this morning. I'm never up this early. I showered quickly and bustled around the house.
"You're up early." David came up from behind me and handed me coffee. I took it and nodded.
"I just woke up wide awake this morning." I told him. He nodded.
"It's that boy that put you in a good mood, isn't it?" He asked, an edge creeping into his voice. I looked at him, unsure how to answer. "Answer me." He said in a low voice. I shrugged.
"He might have been part of it. It's just one of those days." I answered vaguely. I don't know what he's wanting to hear right now.
"What did he do that got your to smile?" David asked, getting closer. My eyes darted around the room. Sharon's nowhere to be seen. Shit. He never gets touchy-feely when she's around.
"He was nice to me." I told him. I clamped my mouth shut too late. Shit. Double Shit. Fuck.
"Are we not nice to you here?" He asked, looking pissed. I backed up a step. What did I get myself into now?
"You are. He was just a different kind of nice. I'm not used to guys I go to school with being that nice to me. Going on a date with him made me feel special. Isn't that what you and Sharon wanted me to feel? You always said you tried to teach me how it was supposed be. You take Sharon on dates and dance with her. That's what I had last night. I thought that's what you wanted." I spewed hurriedly. He seemed to calm down but didn't stop advancing.
"You danced with him? What else did you do?" He asked, stopping in front of my face.
"We talked. He kissed me. We had dinner with his uncle. Nothing else happened. I swear." I told him, wide-eyed.
"Are you being honest?" He asked.
"I don't lie to you or Sharon." I told him. He nodded.
"Good. You better know this," he grabbed me, digging his hands into my sides. "I come second to no one. Do you understand?" He asked, squeezing me harder. I can feel tears welling in my eyes. It hurts like a bitch. "You're mine." He slammed his lips to mine in a bruising kiss. He picked me up and gripped my thighs, holding me to him. He slammed my back into a wall and kept kissing. I whimpered. He's definitely not going out of his way to be gentle with me. Something's digging into my back. My skin feels raw.
He fumbled with my pants button. I squirmed against him, trying to get him to stop. He slammed me against the wall harder. I stilled my movements. He backed away from the wall and threw me to the floor. I scrambled away from him but he grabbed my ankle and pulled me back. He pinned my arms and wrestled away my pants. I felt tears burn down my face.
"Stop, please." I pleaded. He shook his head.
"Not until you understand." He growled. He tore off my panties.
"No," I sobbed. He shoved two fingers inside of me. I cried harder.
"You are mine." He repeated his mantra. He only grew harder and harder with his movements. He unfastened his own pants. I froze and shook my head.
"Please, don't do this."
"I didn't ask you to speak." He spat. He pulled himself out of his pants and started stroking. I tried to picture myself anywhere else. "You're mine. Let me hear you say it." He quickened his movements.
"I'm yours."
"Again!"
"I'm yours."
"Again! I didn't tell you to stop."
"I'm yours. I'm yours. I'm yours." My voice is raw and breaking. He stiffened and curled his fingers inside of me, clawing through my skin. I winced.
"Fuck, Bonnie." He came all over me. I tried to calm down. I'm so tired of everything. It's so draining trying to predict their every waking move. I didn't think that I did anything wrong. Why do I deserve this? I'm never good enough. Why am I never good enough? I just want someone to love me – to legitimately love me.
I crawled away from him and clutched my discarded clothing. I can't stop shaking. I can't tear my eyes away from him. I can't calm down.
"Oh God," he seemed to realize what he had down. Sure, he's hit me before. It's rare from him, but he's never done that with that much brutality. "Bonnie, I-I… I'm so… I didn't mean…" His apologies fell on deaf ears. But then again, they always do.
He tried to pick me up. I moved away from him.
"Don't." I told him. He picked me up, successfully this time.
"Let me help you." He took me upstairs and to the bathroom. He took off my clothes and helped me stand in the shower. It hurts to move. I don't feel clean. I can't. The shower went by quickly. He took my dirty clothes while I changed into clean ones. I caked on foundation to cover the fact that I've been crying. Whether I can move or not doesn't matter. I have to suck it up. I cannot – will not stay here all day. Who knows what else he'd try to do.
"Bonnie-bee, tell me all about last night." Sharon poked her head into my bedroom. I forced a smile and told her everything. She was delighted. She wanted to meet Stefan, of course. I told her I'd invite him over soon. She finished my makeup and picked out a new shirt for me to wear. There's nothing like feeling completely inadequate to start off your morning. High school here I come.
I drove to school in silence. I'm tired of him always touching me. I'm tired of everything. I don't know how much longer I can do it. A beating is better than what he does. How can anyone love me like this? I wouldn't. I stopped loving myself a long time ago. It's not worth it. I'm not worth it.
"Hey Bonnie," someone put a hand on my back. I jumped and stumbled forward. Stefan steadied me. "You okay? You're jumpy today." He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, sorry. It's just been a long morning already." I managed a smile. He nodded slowly.
"Are you sure that's all? You're walking differently." He pressed. I nodded.
"Yeah, I threw out my back. I think I pulled a couple of somethings, too. It's the last time I let Sharon talk me into yoga." I shook my head. "I'm so uncoordinated, it's not even funny." I laughed. He smiled. I've gotten good at lying over the years. Cal Lightman would commend me.
"I had a good time last night." He put an arm around my side. I was careful not to wince.
"I did, too. Oh, um, Sharon wants to meet you…" I played with my fingers. I can see the potential benefits of inviting Stefan over, but somehow, I don't see it ending well. They always manage to fool everyone else. No one has ever caught on to their hobbies. I'm amazed.
"Really? You bragging about me?"He asked. I shook my head.
"No, she's just… really involved. She's got this thing about knowing everything going on in my life." I told him.
"I get it. It's a mom thing." He sympathized. I nodded.
"It's not a big deal. You work today?" He asked. I nodded.
"Yeah, it should only be for a few hours. The Grill is normally dead on Wednesdays." I told him.
"Alright, I'll hang out at work with you then we'll go to your house." He decided.
"You wanna go today?" I asked. He nodded. "Okay. They're a little much. Sorry in advance. David's super-protective and Sharon is boy-crazy. Go figure. She almost peed herself when I told her you asked me to dinner." I told him. He laughed.
"I'm sure it happens all the time. Guys asking a beautiful girl out. Nothing out of the ordinary. Come on, I'll walk you to class." He offered. Today just got a whole lot more interesting. I waited until class was over to call Sharon.
"Hello Bonnie-bee," she answered happily. I swear, she must have a happy pill shoved up her ass. "Is something wrong honey?" She asked.
"No, no. It's nothing like that. I just wanted to see if something was okay."
Stefan's POV
Bonnie's so timid. There's something about her that draws me in and makes me never want to stop watching her. She's glorious and she has no idea. It's been ages since I've known a woman like her. She cares more about her parents' approval than anyone I've ever met. Well, almost everyone. I watched her call her mother when no one else was looking. She looks so fragile in the empty classroom. She looks scared, almost. She seemed to relax the longer the phone call got. Maybe I'll understand her better once I meet her parents.
It is nice having a girl to myself for once. Sharing Katherine with Damon got old, fast.
Bonnie's POV
"Sure Bee, ask away." Sharon said. I took a deep breath.
"Well, I was talking to Stefan and I remembered that you told me that you'd like to meet him. He thought it might be nice to tag along with me to work then come home with me. He's excited to meet you." I told her.
"Really?! That'd be great. You've been such a good girl lately, Bonnie. Such a good girl. If you keep this up, you'll get a reward. You'd like that, wouldn't you? I'm not sure what it'll be, but it'll be something good. I'll make sure of that. We can all have a late dinner together. I'll tell David. I'm sure he'll be thrilled." She gushed. I can just see her smiling against the phone. Oh, David. The happiness drained from my body. How is he going to take this?
"There's something else," I told her.
"What is it?"
"David wasn't too happy with me this morning. He thought my dating could replace him." I told her.
"That's absurd. He knows we were preparing you to meet a respectable young man." She said, unhappy.
"I tried to tell him that. I promise. Would you mind talking to him for me? You always explain things so much better than I can. I just don't want you both to be unhappy. I love when you're happy." I told her.
"It's okay Bonnie-bee. It's not your fault. You know how protective your father is. He just worries about you. I'll talk to him. Don't worry. I love you. Have a good day at school. I look forward to seeing you both for dinner tonight."
"Okay. Thank you so much. I really do appreciate it. Love you, too. I'll see at home later. Bye." I hung up the phone. That went better than I expected. I hate having to kiss ass every time I want to talk to them.
I scooted off the desk I was sitting on and headed to class.
"Hey Bonnie, hey baby bro," Damon walked up to Stefan's table at the Grill. "I felt like bothering some people and you were the first people that came to mind. You should feel privileged." He smirked.
"Want do you want Damon?" Stefan asked.
"Just to see my brother trying and failing to flirt with a hot woman. That's all." His smirk grew. I rolled my eyes.
"Can I get you something Damon?" I asked him.
"Your number would be nice."
"Not gonna happen. Do you want anything else?" I asked. He looked me over and licked his lips. I shook my head. "Food or drink-wise, perv."
"I'll take bourbon, neat." He said. I nodded.
"Alright, anything else?"
"Not yet. I'll steal your number from my little brother." He smirked.
"Oookay." I went to get his drink. Damon is definitely something else. At least he's entertaining to say the least. He and Stefan are definitely not short on sexy.
Work went by quickly. Stefan followed me home. We were at the front door before I knew it. Today just flew by. Here goes nothin'. I opened the door and led Stefan inside.
"Wow, you have a beautiful home." Stefan said in awe.
"Thank you. Sharon really put herself into this house. She's an interior decorator." I told him, with a small smile.
"What does your dad do?" Stefan asked. He's not my father.
"David is a doctor." I told him. He nodded. "Sharon!" I called out. Sharon came downstairs. She's all smiles.
"You must be Stefan. It's so nice to meet you. I've heard so many good things about you." She kissed my cheek and pulled Stefan into a hug. He hugged her back.
"You must be an incredible woman to have raised Bonnie." He told her. She beamed. He really is good with parents.
"You've got to meet her father. David!" She called for him. He came walking in from the garage. He must be working on his car again. He's always rebuilding cars and selling them for profit, not that we need the money. We really don't. It keeps him busy so he has less time to bother me. It's a win-win.
"Hello, I don't believe I've met you before." He held a hand out to Stefan. He sized him up. Well, he's got the overbearing father part down. Stefan shook his hand, unwavering.
"I'm Stefan Salvatore. It's nice to meet you. Bonnie told me you're a doctor?" Stefan said. David nodded, standing taller.
"Salvatore? I think I've treated your uncle, Zachary?" He asked. Stefan nodded. "It's nice to meet you. Well, I hope you're hungry. Sharon made dinner." David led us to the dining room. Well, this is officially awkward.
Sharon did her best to defuse the situation. We made small talk and started digging into dinner. She may have a lot of faults, but she makes a roast to-die-for.
"So, Stefan, what are your intentions with my daughter?" David asked.
"I just want to get to know her better. I enjoy being friends with her." Stefan answered, ending the conversation.
"David, leave the boy alone. He's given you no reason not to trust him." Sharon told him, lightly. She touched his arm, trying to calm him down.
"He's a teenage boy, dear. I was a teenager not too long ago." He argued.
"Honey, will you help me get dessert ready?" Sharon asked him. He didn't budge. "Now," she looked at him until he got up and excused himself. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.
"I'm really sorry about him. I've never had a guy over while he's been home. I didn't think he'd be this bad." I apologized. Stefan smirked.
"It's not your fault. It doesn't bother me. He's not the first protective dad I've ever met. My dad was ten times worse while he was still alive. He hated my girlfriend when he was alive. Believe me, this is nothing." Stefan played footsie with me. It's impossible not to smile when I'm with him.
"I hope you like red velvet cake. It's Bonnie's favorite." Sharon came out of the kitchen with dessert. I smiled at Stefan apologetically. We made it through dessert without David being too much of an ass. It was over way too fast. We all got up from the table. Stefan walked over to Sharon and David.
"Would you two mind if I took Bonnie for some hot chocolate? I won't have her back late – I promise." Stefan told them.
"I don't see why not." Sharon smiled. David looked uneasy.
"Don't be late." David told us. Eesh. Definite cold shoulder. I grabbed a jacket and followed Stefan to his car. We ended up at a local coffee shop. I hadn't been there before.
"It's nice to be alone with you." Stefan teased. I made a face at him.
"They're intense, I know. I did try to warn you." I told him. He waved away my apology.
"I don't mind." He reassured me. We talked while we waited for the hot chocolate. We didn't talk about anything in particular. We talked about everything and nothing at the same time. It's nice having someone to talk to and to listen to what I have to say some of the time.
I checked the time. It's almost ten.
"It's getting late. We better go." I told him. I grabbed my wallet and pulled out a ten.
"What do you think you're doing?"
"Paying? Isn't that what people do when they order something?" I questioned. He laughed.
"Put your money away. A gentleman never lets a woman pay. I got this." He told me.
"At least let me tip."
"I don't think so Bennett."
"Thank you for tonight. I needed it." I told him. He opened the car door for me and walked with me to the door.
"It was my pleasure. I'll see you at school tomorrow, okay?"
"Tomorrow," I agreed. I hugged him and he leaned in to kiss me. I kept it short, pulling away first. I walked inside and watched him go from the front window.
"You're right on time." David came up from behind me, pressing my front to the window. I can't move.
"I told you I wouldn't be late." I whispered.
"Good girl, you're always my good girl aren't you?" He asked, moving his mouth to my neck. I can smell alcohol on his breath. He never drinks, at least not around me. How much has he had? I don't like this. I have a really, really bad feeling about this. This makes him even more unpredictable.
"You know I am. Where's mom? I wanted to tell her goodnight." I told him. He chuckled.
"She's asleep. I told her she needed to let me have some time with you. You know how hard it is seeing you with him. I told you this morning. You know how jealous I get." He started to pull at my clothes.
"Wh-what are you doing?" I asked him.
"Turn around Bonnie. I wanna see just how pretty you are." He said in a dangerous, low voice. I jumped. I turned around and faced him. He's aroused. I can see it in his eyes. "So pretty. You're so pretty." He murmured.
He took a hold of my hand and took me to the living room with him. He sat down and took a swig of Jack. I stood there, unsure of what to do.
"Put on a show for me. I wanna see your body." He told me. I froze. "You can do it or I'll do it for you." His handsome features contorted. I trembled as I fumbled with my jeans. I took off my shirt and left my undergarments. "Come here." He reached for me.
He pulled me onto his lap and started kissing me with sloppy, whiskey filled kisses. I did my best to force myself to kiss him back. He became more frenzied. Why can't he just pass out already?
"Get on your knees." He whispered. I shook my head.
"No," I told him. I'm tired of doing nothing.
"On your knees!" He screamed.
Stefan's POV
I hummed to myself and looked out the window. Something about her is just enchanting. I wonder if she carried the Bennett witch line. It's not just something I can ask her. I can't just come out and say, "Hey, I'm vampire. Yeah, it's awesome. Hey, are you a witch like your ancestors? Oh yeah? Groovy." I sighed to myself as I turned off my car. I got out when something caught my eye. Bonnie forgot her jacket. She'll need it tomorrow. I better bring it to her.
The drive to her house went by a lot faster than the drive home did. I wonder if she's still up. I pulled out my phone and dialed her number. I pulled up next to her house and parked. She's not answering. Should go to the door?
"Now look what you've done! You made me spill of my Jack! Go get some more! Don't come back until you have more. You know what will happen if you don't! I won't be so understanding this time! I'm not like that precious boyfriend you have!" Someone screamed from Bonnie's house. What the hell is going on? I got out of my car and walked over to her door. Someone threw it open.
Bonnie's POV
"Please David, please." I begged. He pushed me off of him. I hit the ground, hard. The wounds on my back from this morning broke open. I winced.
"Quit talking and start doing what I told you to." He growled. I crawled onto my knees, crying. He grabbed a handful of hair and pulled backwards. I whimpered. He freed his manhood and shoved it in my face. He pinched my nose so I had to open my mouth and forced my face down, engulfing him. I gagged. "The quicker you get it done, the quicker it'll be over. You better make me enjoy it, or you'll be doing it again. Do you understand?" He asked.
I nodded and went to work. I tried to block as much of it from my mind as possible. I thought about Caroline and Stefan. I get to see them tomorrow.
David will drink more and when this is over he won't remember any of this. He never does. He's only drank a few times when I've lived here. It's always been way too much. Sharon always makes herself scarce and leaves me to deal with it.
David started yanking my hair and grunting. He must be close. Warm liquid gushed into my mouth. He forced my face down so I had to swallow. I can't breathe. He finally let me go. I choked on the air. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I rinsed my mouth and swished more mouthwash than any human should be able to handle.
"You know better than to run away from me." He growled, blocking me in the bathroom.
"I-I, I'm s-sorry." I told him, my voice hoarse. He watched my movements.
"I think that deserves a punishment." He grinned. He backhanded me. I hit the sink as I fell. Fuck. That's gonna hurt like a bitch in the morning. He pulled me to my feet and punched me in my gut. I whined. Ow. "No more back talk. Do you understand?" He asked. I nodded. "Good." He hit me, again and again and again. He let me go and fell to the floor. I just laid there, silent tears streaming down my face.
"Get up!" He yelled. I scrambled to my feet, painfully. I think he split my lip. I really don't wanna see my face right now. My stomach isn't going to be pretty, either. He let me out of the bathroom. "I love you and you just treat me like shit!" He screamed. He threw his bottle of Jack at the wall, narrowly missing my head.
"Now look what you've done! You made me spill of my Jack! Go get some more! Don't come back until you have more. You know what will happen if you don't! I won't be so understanding this time! I'm not like that precious boyfriend you have!" He shoved me to the door and threw a wad of money at me. I managed to grab my clothes and flip-flops before he slammed the door behind me. I dressed as soon as I could and sank to the ground, sobbing.
"Oh my God, Bonnie. Are you okay?" Stefan asked. Why is he here?! He can't be here.
"You have to leave!" I told him. "He can't see you here! He'll be worse. Please, go." I pleaded. Stefan helped me to my feet and took me to his car. I didn't ask where we were going. I already know. We arrived to his house in no time. He helped me walk. He went to get some medical supplies.
"Well, I thought I smelled something delicious walk in the door." Damon mused.
"Not now." I told him, trying to get myself under control.
"Any time is Damon time. Didn't they teach you this in high school?" He joked walking around to face me. He face fell. "Who did this to you?" He asked. I stayed quiet.
"It doesn't matter. I'm fine." I told him.
"You look like a walking corpse. You're not 'fine'." He argued. Stefan walked back into the room with supplies.
"Bonnie, I can't help you if I can't see the damage." I didn't stop him from pulling me to my feet. "Damon, I'm gonna need your help." I couldn't look at them. Tears fell my eyes. I took off my shirt, shoes, and pants. I didn't hear anything else they said. I tuned out the world from a little while. I thought about my Grams. I miss her so much. I should try to see her soon.
"Are you done?" I asked him. Stefan nodded. For once, Damon didn't say a word. "I need to go home." I told them.
"I don't think that's a good idea." Stefan argued.
"It'll be worse on me tomorrow if I'm not there in the morning. He won't remember what he did when he wakes up. I'll be fine." I told him.
"How long has this been going on?" Stefan asked.
"You don't need to know."
"Is he the only one who hurts you?"
"You don't need to know."
"What else has he done?"
"You don't need to know. Look, if I tell you anything, I'm dead. Okay? Can you understand that? I appreciate what you're trying to do, but the best thing you can do for me is pretend like you didn't see anything. I just turned seventeen. Once I'm eighteen, I'm out. I can make it until then. Don't make this any worse than it already is." I told them. It'd be nice if I could confide in them, but frankly, I don't have that luxury. Damon pulled me aside.
"Look, I know you're not in an easy situation and I get that. If you ever need anything that my brother can't help you with, or if your parents smack you around too much, I'm here and I'm not afraid to kick some ass. That is something that I excel in." He hugged me, lightly. He's never this nice.
"Oh, there is something." I told him.
"What is it?" He asked.
"Do you happen to have a bottle of Jack?"
~*.*~
'I've always been the chosen child.
Their biggest scandal I became.
They told me I'd never survive,
But survive is my middle name.
I've walked around hoping,
Just barely coping.
Getting it on, getting it wrong.
How do you love someone without getting hurt?
How do you love someone without crawling through the dirt?
So far in my life, clouds have blocked the sun.
How do you love? How do you love someone?
How do you love? How do you love someone?
It's hard to talk, to say what's deep inside.
It's hard to tell the truth when you've always lied…
How do you love someone and make it last?
How do you love someone without tripping on the past?
So far in my life, clouds have blocked the sun.
How do you love? How do you love someone?
How do you love? How do you love someone?
Someone...'
~*.*~
Author's Note: Alright all, I've been working on this chapter for a couple of days. I know it's long BUT I feel it was necessary. Thoughts, comments, anything… Reviews are welcome. Let me know what you think. Something will happen next chapter that will bring Bonnie and Damon closer together. Will David remember what he did?
Xo Xo
Anneryn