A/N: My apologies for the delay in updating this fic. Between computer troubles, demands at work and unhappiness with the current storyline (puke!) on the show, it's been difficult to find the time/enthusiasm of late. Anyway, this chapter picks up almost immediately after the last one left off. I'm hoping it will be one of two that I get posted this weekend. After that, I think I have about four more chapters to finish up the story. Thanks for reading all this time and for your lovely feedback - enjoy!

Chapter Fifteen

Aftermath

"Whew! Well, I think we have shopped ourselves out. What do you think?" Tandy asked, plopping herself down at a booth in the busy diner. She settled several store-brand bags at her feet and looked around, admiring the fake greenery garlands and cheery red Christmas decorations. Rayna lumbered up behind her and dropped her bags on top of the table. Gripping the top of the booth with one hand and the top of the table with the other, she lowered her body into the booth sideways, exhausted.

"Oh my gosh," she said, trying but failing to swivel around and wedge her stomach under the table. "I'm not gonna make it. I am officially too big to fit into a restaurant booth!" She grimaced and hauled herself back onto her feet.

Tandy jumped up and helped Rayna over to a nearby table, pulling the chair out for her. "Now honey, you sit right here," she said, transferring their shopping bags over and smiling brightly at her sister as she sat down across from her. "See? That's better. That booth was awfully tight, even for me."

"Thanks," her sister replied. "Nice try. Listen, you look great, babe. You'll never have trouble fitting into anything."

"And neither will you, in a few weeks. You're going to bounce right back after my niece is born, I know it."

"I hope so," Rayna sighed. "I swear, if this baby's late, I'm going to ask Dr. Madsen to do a C-section. I can't take much more of swollen feet and backaches."

"Riiiiight. And then you'll be recovering from major surgery with a newborn on your hands. I don't think that's such a good idea," Tandy replied, studying the menu. "Hey, that reminds me: I'm having Mary Ann pull me up a list of local baby nurses. After Christmas, you and I can interview them and pick one to come stay at the apartment with you for the first few weeks. I mean, I'll be there as much as I can, but you'll need someone full-time to help you out."

Rayna nodded, but she kept her eyes trained down on the lunch menu, not even seeing the words printed in front of her. She had spent all afternoon Christmas shopping and gabbing with her sister but hadn't managed to break her big news yet: She and Deacon were back together and planning to get married. She felt guilty for not mentioning it, but she suspected Tandy wouldn't react well when she heard. When Rayna had told her she was going to Natchez with Deacon for Thanksgiving, Tandy hadn't objected outright, but she'd been clearly uneasy about it.

"Mom would be so excited for you, if she were here this Christmas. I can just imagine her, buying out the baby stores all over town."

Rayna looked up. "You think? I wonder how she'd feel about being a grandmother. I mean, I always knew she loved us, but I never got the feeling that she was really happy, deep down. I don't know whether it was being a mother that was hard for her, or being married to Daddy. Or maybe it was just living in Belle Meade. But something always seemed wrong, you know? It's one of the things I've been talking about with Jill, after our Al-Anon meetings."

Tandy pursed her lips and her cheeks went red. But she stayed silent as she continued studying the menu. "I'm thinking about chicken salad. They do a good one here, and then I can get one of those yummy carrot muffins. What about you? What're you going to have?"

Rayna was puzzled by this response, but not very surprised. Since she had been talking about her childhood with Jill, she'd come to realize that every time she tried to engage her sister in a real conversation about their mother, she always got shut down. It was as if Tandy considered Virginia Wyatt's memory so sacred that it was sacrilege even to question anything she had done.

Rayna sighed and tried to concentrate on lunch. "Um … I'm thinking about the chef salad. And I love those carrot muffins too," she said, setting the menu down and rubbing her hands over her stomach as she stretched her shoulders and neck. "I'll have to take half of mine home, though. I haven't got much room left for food anymore."

Tandy laughed. The waitress came by and took their order, returning quickly with a glass of milk for Rayna and an iced tea for Tandy.

"Well, I think I'm done with my shopping this year. What about you?" Tandy asked. "You got that beautiful scarf for Bucky and the gloves for Daddy. And you came up with great little gifts for all the guys in your band. Are you about done?"

"Me? Oh … no. I have someone else I still need to buy for," Rayna said. Before she could stop herself, she glanced quickly down at her left hand, which was resting on top of her tummy. When she looked up again, Tandy was staring at her.

"What? Who do you-?" Tandy's eyes narrowed with suspicion and an instant later she had snatched Rayna's hand up between her own and was dangling it over the table. She stared curiously at the diamond sparkling on Rayna's ring finger. "Honey - what's this?"

"Ummm …" Rayna said, swallowing hard. It was now or never. "That's an engagement ring."

Tandy's eyebrows shot up and she looked at Rayna, her eyes wide. "Yes, I can see that. It's very pretty. But you're…?"

Rayna looked down at the table and cringed, inhaling slowly. "I've been meaning to tell you, babe. But it kind of just happened last night. I didn't plan it or anything. Uh ... it's from Deacon. We're getting married."

There was no audible response from Tandy. After a moment, Rayna snuck a glance at her sister's face. Tandy had dropped her hand and was staring at her. Her eyes revealed a mixture of shock and confusion. And there was something else in them, too: Anger.

"You – you're doing what?! With … Deacon?"

"Yeah, it looks that way. I mean, he – I … we want to be married before our baby's born."

Tandy took a deep breath, collapsing back into her chair as she exhaled. Rayna looked at her for a moment, while an uncomfortable silence reigned over the table.

"Well, aren't you going to tell me what a big mistake I'm making?"

Tandy pressed her lips together into a thin line, and shook her head, looking off into the distance sadly. "What the hell good would it do? I've about talked myself out on this subject." She directed her gaze back at Rayna and the look on her face was so full of hurt it took Rayna's breath away. "You're going to do what you always do when it comes to that man. It's just a losing battle, trying to get in your way. I've learned that lesson by now."

Rayna took a deep breath. If only her sister understood what Deacon had gone through recently. If only she'd been there to see all the work he'd done – the work each of them had done - over the past six months, and how they'd waited until the time was right to try again. But Tandy had never seemed interested when Rayna tried to bring it up. And she had the sense that her sister would never truly understand the bond she and Deacon shared, anyway.

Still, Rayna knew that she wanted both Tandy and Deacon in her life, and in her daughter's life. She couldn't just give up. "Tandy, please - listen to me. Things are different this time, I promise you. He's different; he's changed so much. And I've learned a lot too, going to Al-Anon. I realized that I've been part of his problem, all these years. But he's gotten sober for himself now, he's not doing it for me. And that means it's going to work this time, I know it. Please, just give him another-"

Before she could finish, Tandy was shaking her head, incredulous. "Another what, another chance!? How many chances has he gotten from you – 20? 30? Seriously, Rayna? You can't be talking like this again. How many times have I heard about how different he is, how he's changed, he's in AA, he's not going to go back to the drinking. Jesus! What the hell is wrong with you? Are you dumb or something?!"

Rayna looked down, a lump of emotion forming in her throat. "No, I-"

"You know what? I'm done. Honestly, I'm just done. It's bad enough that you go back and put yourself in harm's way with him over and over and over again. That's always made me sick, the way you fall for this act of his. But putting a little baby into that situation? Letting your own child be around someone like him!? That – I just – that's just something I guess I'll never be able to understand!"

Tandy was so worked up she was sputtering. She plucked the napkin off her lap, bunched it up and threw it on the table. "I thought you were growing up, finally. I thought AA was teaching you to stand up for yourself and put your child first!"

"It's called Al-Anon - and it is. I am putting the baby first, Tandy. She's his baby, too, and he loves her. She deserves a chance to know her father; to know where she comes from."

Tandy took a deep breath, looking as if Rayna was speaking a different language. "I guess I should have known this would happen; he's such a master manipulator. As soon as you told me you two were going away for Thanksgiving, I figured it was just a matter of time. Once he gets you back in bed with him, you just can't resist, can you?"

Rayna flushed at this, angry now too. "That's not it! I didn't – we didn't even – not until last night!" she hissed, trying to keep her voice low.

But Tandy wasn't listening anymore, she was so agitated. "It doesn't matter how many times he falls off the wagon, or gets behind the wheel of a car stoned, does it?" She scooted her chair back and stood up. "Well, if that's the kind of man you want to be the father of your baby – that's your choice. There's nothing I can do about it."

She began gathering up her packages. Rayna reached out and grabbed hold of her arm. "Please, babe!"

"You know what, Rayna? The next time you can't find him, and you're scared to death he's passed out in an alley, or dead in a dumpster somewhere, don't bother calling me. Call your friends at AA, or Al-Anonymous or - whatever it's called. Let one of them come move you out of your apartment after he trashes it. Let them find you a new place and buy you all new furniture. Because I'm not going to be there to pick up the pieces anymore!"

Tandy turned and stormed out of the restaurant, gift bags careening between her legs and the sides of the restaurant booths as she passed. Peoples' heads turned in astonishment, watching her. Rayna propped her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands, rubbing her temples. Suddenly, she had a monster headache.

She knew that some part of Tandy's reaction was about feeling left out. She'd always considered herself Rayna's best friend. But during the last six months, Rayna had gotten close to Dave, and to Jill, and the women in her Al-Anon group. She'd begun to confide in them things that Tandy never wanted to discuss - like her confusion about their mother.

She also knew that she had called on Tandy too many times to help her out of a predicament caused by Deacon. She couldn't blame her for being cynical about him. Still, the idea of losing her sister – if indeed that was the price she had to pay for marrying Deacon – well, that just felt unthinkable.

Rayna picked up a napkin and dabbed at her eyes, trying not to attract more attention by actually breaking down and sobbing. She pulled out her phone and punched in Deacon's number just as the waitress bustled up with the salads and put them on the table, a hesitant look on her face. Rayna smiled and asked her to leave both of them. If there was any benefit to being eight months pregnant, it was that she was not recognized in public anymore. With an extra 25 pounds on her frame and her hair twisted up under a baseball cap, she hadn't been spotted in months. And luckily this waitress didn't seem to have a clue.

Deacon picked up his phone almost immediately. His voice was joyful. "Hey, darlin'!"

"Hey, babe. Um, listen, can you come pick me up?"

"Sure. What-?"

"I'm going to need a ride home."

"Okaaaay. I thought Tandy was with you. Everythin' okay?"

"No, not exactly. I'll tell you all about it when you get here. Hey, are you hungry? I've got lunch sitting here with your name on it."

Deacon picked up his fork and speared the last bite of what had been a short stack of pecan-laced hotcakes, drenched in maple syrup. He shoved the fork into his mouth and continued talking, without missing a beat. In fact, he had been talking excitedly for the past 20 minutes. His sponsor, Gus, sat across from him in their regular booth and listened, the huge smile on his face betraying a couple of missing teeth.

"So anyway, I showed her the baby's room I fixed up – the one you helped me paint a couple weeks ago? - and she really liked it. And then she, uh, we ... she spent the night," Deacon said, grinning over at his sponsor and ducking his head.

"All right!" Gus chortled, reaching up to high-five Deacon triumphantly. "So then you gave her the ring, huh? The one you showed me?"

"Yeah. Well, next mornin' I did."

"Damn, man! That's great!"

"Thanks, I'm real happy about it; we're both real happy. Hey, you know what I was thinkin'? I'd like it a lot if you'd consider standin' up with me, when we get married. Think you might see your way clear to do that?"

"Hell yeah, I might! I'd consider it an honor. You just tell me when an' where, an' I'll be right there with ya."

"Thanks," Deacon said, gratefully. "It's all up in the air right now. She told me to figure it out and let her know. She's got a lot of stuff to do. She's gettin' out of her lease at the end of the month and packin' up her apartment right now, so she can move back in with me."

The two men beamed at each other as the waitress came over to refill their coffee. "So how's her daddy takin' it? Think you told me once that he ain't your biggest fan."

"Not exactly, nope," Deacon said, with a rueful laugh. "She hasn't even told her daddy yet, I don't think. Her sister's not takin' it too well, though. Guess I'm not her favorite person - not by a long shot. She picked up and walked out on Ray in a restaurant the other day when she heard about us gettin' married."

"Well, that's a shame. A woman needs her sister – or her mama, or some woman friend – when she's goin' through all this stuff," Gus sighed. "Anyway, how y'all doin', Deke?"

"Me? I'm great, you know. I'm just – I'm over the moon. Rayna's the only woman I've ever loved; I never wanted to be with anyone else. I probably told you that a million times by now, though."

"Yup, I heard that more'n once from you," Gus said, stirring an unconscionable amount of sugar into his coffee and taking a long sip. "An' I also heard about how you got a history of cleanin' up your act, gettin' her back, and then goin' out an' gettin' yourself trashed, big time. You thought about that at all?"

Deacon looked at him, blankly. "Well, no, I guess I can't say I have. I mean, I figured I didn't need to worry about that happenin'. Everything's so different, this time around."

"Yup, you done it different. You're serious about it this time," Gus nodded. "An' I'm real proud of you. But you know a whole lot of this addiction shit is about changin' old habits. Even though you finally got yourself sober for the right reasons, I think you still better be on your guard."

The waitress returned, dropping their bill on the table and refilling their coffee once again. Deacon looked down at his cup, pensive. Gus smiled and reached over to clap him on the shoulder. "Hey, cheer up man! I didn't mean to harsh your buzz or nothin'. One day at a time - right? We're never done with this crap. It'd be nice if we could stop thinkin' about it, but that ain't how it works."

Deacon sighed heavily and ran his hand over his face. "Yup. I know that."

The two men sat in silence for a few minutes and then Gus got something of a wicked grin on his face. "Hey Deke, you ever thought about maybe gettin' in touch with your – your wild side, a little bit?"

"Huh?" Deacon looked thoroughly confused. "Get in touch with – what? You mean, that mean, angry bastard who shows up when I been drinkin'?"

Gus nodded slowly, considering this. "Well – yeah. I mean, you got a whole lotta shit to be angry about, Deke. Sometimes I worry that if ya' keep it bottled up too long, it's gonna explode some day. Even if ya ain't drinkin' no more. You might need to find a way to keep some of that and just put a harness on it."

Deacon sighed. "I dunno, Gus. I been feelin' so much better, but I'm still day-to-day. Tryin' to think any longer than about a month ahead is kinda hard right now. I mean, I wouldn't risk missin' a meetin' anytime soon."

"Well then, don't."

"I won't."

The two men smiled at each other. "So, you two are gettin' married after New Year's? Why not take Rayna outta town for a while – get a change of scenery goin'. That's always good. A little honeymoon trip, maybe? You know you can always find a meetin' just about anyplace you go. An' at least gettin' outta town'd get your mind off the Second Time Around."

Deacon chuckled shortly, not surprised that Gus was familiar with the infamous biker bar. "Yeah, that'd be great. We got ourselves a little hideaway in Mexico we like to visit - a real romantic place, you know? Right on the beach, great sunsets. But she can't travel anymore, not 'til after the baby's born. I guess maybe I can find someplace closer to home, though."

"Right. You think of someplace you two can be alone for a while," Gus said, examining the check. Then he looked up and winked at Deacon. "You want my advice? Enjoy her while you can, man. You know you gotta wait like – I dunno, six weeks or somethin' – afterwards. The doc's gotta give her the okay before she can – uh, you know, do anything again."

"What?!" Deacon looked horrified.

"Hell, yeah. Feels more like six months. You ain't heard about that yet?"

Deacon shook his head, seemingly dazed by this news.

"Well, you'll get through it. You'll be up all night with the kid, anyway. You'll be too tired."

"Like hell we will," Deacon protested. "Damn. I just come off a six-month hiatus. I can't say I'm lookin' forward to more of that."

Gus laughed and slid out of the booth. Deacon followed him to the cash register.

"Hey, y'all doin' anythin' Christmas Eve?"

"Nope, I don't think so. Rayna's daddy always throws a big party at his place in Belle Meade. Ray and her sister usually go to that, but I have a feelin' she's not gonna get invited this year. I showed up there wasted one time a few years back; last invite I ever got from the old man," Deacon laughed, ruefully. "Most years I usually wind up at Tootsie's."

"Well, why don't you two come on up to Riverside? We're havin' a big party up there on Christmas Eve. It's for all us drunks who don't have no place else to go."

Rayna and Deacon decided to take Gus up on his invitation. They drove out Hwy 65 to Riverside in the early afternoon, with their suitcases and several bags of food piled up in the back of Deacon's truck. They had decided to spend the last two weeks of the year at Deacon's cabin.

"We might as well get out of town. We don't have any place else to go," Rayna had concluded one night, after they'd had dinner at her apartment and were getting ready for bed. "Daddy and Tandy don't want anything to do with you – or me, anymore. Bucky and all the guys in the band have gone home, and Watty's not around either. It's just a shame your family's so far away."

"I know, darlin'. My mama said the same thing when I talked to her yesterday. Oh - she told me to tell you somethin', too. Aunt Sallie's about been doin' cartwheels since she heard about us gettin' married."

The two of them had laughed at the mental image of Sallie doing anything remotely resembling a cartwheel. "Well, it's going to be a shotgun wedding, really, so I hope she doesn't mind if she's not invited," Rayna had said, a dubious note in her voice. "I still can't believe we're going to do this, babe. You're getting it all figured out - right?"

"Right," Deacon said, more confidently than he felt. He had quickly realized that arranging for a civil ceremony on short notice, and keeping it out of the press, was not going to be as easy as he'd thought. But nonetheless, he had smiled at Rayna and reassured her. "Don't you worry about a thing, darlin'."

Now, late morning on Christmas Eve, they were driving up to Riverside with Kim following them in his own car. He had been helping Rayna and Deacon pack up her apartment while Dave worked at the hospital in the evenings. Both of them were thrilled that Rayna and Deacon were back together, but they were also sad to lose her as a neighbor. Rayna had assured them that they would all stay friends, and given them a beautiful dining room centerpiece for Christmas. Their gift for her and Deacon had nearly brought Rayna to tears: A mix CD they'd created containing their favorite Rayna-and-Deacon love songs, pulled off half a dozen of their albums.

When they had learned that Dave was working and Kim was going to be alone on Christmas Eve, Deacon had invited him to the party at Riverside. It both pleased and amused Rayna to see how Deacon interacted with Kim, who clearly had a bit of a crush on him. Even the word gay was still taboo in their industry. And Rayna suspected that many of the other men they knew would have been outright threatened, or at least uncomfortable, with Kim's attentions. But Deacon handled him calmly and humbly, interacting with him in such a compassionate, friendly manner, that it made Rayna proud. Watching him, it occurred to her for the first time that Deacon was going to make a wonderful AA sponsor some day.

Tandy might not understand why she loved Deacon so much, but Rayna's feelings for him grew with every day that he crossed off on his wall calendar, carefully treasuring his renewed sobriety. She had always loved him, and known that he loved her, despite all the ugliness between them. But spending most of her time with him again, and being back in his arms every night, reminded her of how sweet and easy their relationship could be when things were going right.

She could tell that Deacon was still struggling; he never went a day without attending at least one AA meeting, for instance. But his hold on sobriety seemed far more secure than it ever had before. Even the nightmares, which had once plagued him several times a week, had nearly disappeared.

In the days since they'd gotten back together, Rayna had watched him closely, and when she saw a shadow fall across his face, or heard him make one-too-many disparaging remarks, she gave him extra attention. Taking his hand and leading him to bed, or pushing him down onto the couch and carefully straddling his lap, never failed to cheer him up. Without realizing it, the two of them had adopted a "practice makes perfect" attitude that was quickly turning them into experts at late-pregnancy sex.

In fact, despite her physical discomforts, the hectic holiday season, and Tandy's rejection, Rayna felt happier than she had been in years. She was anticipating the release of her album, looking forward to getting married and about to embark on the adventure of parenting with her best friend. The wedding wouldn't happen for a couple more weeks, but it felt like she and Deacon were already on their honeymoon. If only her family could see Deacon the way she did, everything would be perfect.

The party at Riverside ended early and was more fun than Rayna had expected. Her first visit to Riverside – between the rehab sweat in the air, her unsettling first meeting with Jill, and her argument with Deacon – hadn't been a good one. But this time, she didn't walk in as a stranger. She walked in holding Deacon's hand. It was wonderful to see how proud he was to be back there with more than six months' sobriety under his belt. Rayna didn't think she'd ever seen him so happy at a party, especially one where no one was drinking.

For once in their lives, she and Deacon were truly members of a community of people who knew all of their flaws, and loved them anyway.

It was a feeling they'd only experienced rarely, with some of their musician friends. But even with them, there was a competitive edge that was absent in recovery circles. Being loved unconditionally – by Deacon and her new friends – was wonderful, Rayna decided. It made her hopeful that Deacon's dream - the one about a life that's good - was on the verge of coming true.