So, I don't know how many of you know the lovely Mina ( MariuxitaR on twitter, but she made a lovely banner for this little story of mine! Even added the Goblet of Fire book in there. I need to find a place for her loveliness, but you can find it up on my twitter( myheroin1 or just ask me for it, and I'll be glad to share.
As always thanks to kyla713 for looking this over, and my girls for pre-reading. They left me a lot of shouty-caps.
With that said, yeah.. ummm, I'll leave you to it.
*.*
On the morning of Bella's port insertion, she put up a huge fuss about me needing to get out of the hospital. She insisted that I go to breakfast, the apartment and just enjoy time to myself, which led me to repeatedly tell her that I didn't want to go. Obviously, she was having none of that.
"You do a lot for me, Edward. I want and need for you to care for yourself, too," she insisted before she pulled me down for a kiss.
"But I don't want to leave. I can do all of that later after your insertion," I whined, and she glared.
"Go, or I'll put some of your Harry Potter collection up on Ebay." She winked and smiled. "I know you wouldn't want that."
"Evil woman, you are."
"Yes, Yoda. Desperate times call for desperate measures," she said, laughing, and it was blissful music to my ears. I only hoped her happy mood would continue.
I bent down and kissed her forehead, her cheek, and then her neck. "I really don't want to leave. It seems wrong."
"Please?" she asked, her brown eyes widened, reminding me of a sad puppy. "Just this once? For me?"
I sighed and nodded my head. "Only for you and because you threatened my Harry Potter collection."
"Good boy. I'll have a surprise for you when you get back."
"Ugh! Fine," I said dramatically. "If you insist, I'll go."
"Just go already!" She smiled, and I swear to god, it took my breath away.
I turned to my mom. "Call me if..."
"Just go, Edward. Our girl will be fine," she said, giving me a stern look.
Well, okay then. Going.
I sighed again and kissed Bella one more time before grabbing my bag to leave, heading down the corridor and making my way down to the cafeteria for breakfast.
After I picked up my food, I sat down and thought about Bella's reaction to the flowers my father had brought her and placed on the shelf that sat across from her bed. She had the sweetest smile, her eyes held nothing but happiness in them.
"Thank you, Carlisle. I love lilies."
My dad smiled and walked over to kiss her forehead softly. "No thanks necessary. Your smile was all I wanted, darling girl."
As I looked at them, I realized that she owned my parents just as much as she owned me. They loved her as their own, and I knew then that no matter what happened, she would always be theirs. I also knew that deep down she'd always be in their lives. Someday soon, I'd get down on bended knee for that beautiful girl.
"Looks like someone is happy." I looked up and noticed Dr. McCarty standing next to me, food tray in hand.
I motioned for him to sit down as I nodded. "Yeah, just thinking."
"By the smile, I'm guessing a certain girl is on your mind."
I laughed. "Yeah, she's always on it these days."
He nodded and took a bite of his food. "Port insertion today, yeah?" I nodded again. "She'll be fine. I asked to be paged when they have it in."
We chatted for a bit longer before saying goodbye. I reluctantly left the hospital and made my way back to the apartment, grabbing the mail on my way up. Once in the apartment, I sat the mail on the counter next to the door before pushing play on the answering machine, which was blinking with unread messages.
"Ms. Swan,my name is Alicia Hill and I will be your academic adviser during your time here at Northwestern.I am calling to make your appointment to meet up again and discuss your course load for this semester. Give me a call as soon as possible, thank you." I listened to her recite her number as my mind went to dark places. What if Bella doesn't attend or make it to finish graduate school? Should I call and tell them Bella has cancer? Had surgery? Rationally, I knew that Bella had to take care of that herself, but I didn't want her to stress any more than she already was. I wanted to shield her from all that I could.
I forced myself to listen to the message again, writing down the number and name down for Bella. I hated how so much of our and her future was up in the air, still to be determined.
A future was so hard to live for when we were forced to live each day one at a time. I desperately wanted to fast forward to a time where we had no worries or uncertainties clouding over us. I felt selfish for feeling that way. I knew it was life. Impossible.
Somehow, with a thousand thoughts running through my head, I made it to the bathroom and turned the shower on, realizing that it had been a few days. I allowed the hot water to soothe me and take away my aches. I stood there, eyes closed, letting the water just stream down around me as I focused on the moment and breathed, letting myself be without any worries or fears for a few moments. A few blissful moments. It felt nice, but entirely wrong at the same time.
I can't believe she threatened my Harry Potter collection. I thought to myself as I dried off and began to get dressed. I learned throughout the last few years that it was such a Bella thing to do.
I sat down on the bed, head in my hands and wanted nothing more than to cry. I just felt the dam break and fall all around me as I let go and did just that. Because who deserved this? Who deserved to have to deal with it? And why her out of all the millions of people on this planet? It suddenly all felt devastatingly unfair, unreal and I wasn't even the one who was dealt the shitty hand of cards. It felt oddly liberating to finally allow myself to feel. Just feel everything that I was sure Bella had been feeling all this time.
It hit me then. If I was that weak now, scared and afraid, how can I be strong for Bella? She was the stronger of us, but strength only lasts for so long.
My phone pinged and I immediately grabbed for it, instantly worrying that something was wrong with Bella. My heart skipped a beat as I opened up my notifications.
A email. From Bella. What the hell? She should be in surgery.
To: Ecullen
From: Bswan
Subject: I give you my words
There once was a girl. A lonely girl who took a chance and wrote a few words. She felt compelled to share them, but had no one to really share them with.
This girl would stare at notebooks full of stories and ideas, and figured that there had to be a way for someone to read her precious words. She stumbled on fanfiction one night at two in the morning after having put the last Harry Potter book down and instantly needing more of that world.
A world she could drown in.
A world that soon became her home away from home.
So she shared her words, posting her stories, and in return, she gained friends from around the world, as well as a love that had captured her from the first hello he ever gave her. She knew instantly that he was someone special to her, that she could never let him go.
And she hasn't. She counts herself blessed that he is in her life, because without him, her strength is nothing. It is he that gives her something more to live for, even if he can't see that at the moment. It is him that gives her the strength to beat all the evils in her kingdom.
He has become her knight in shining armor.
She's determined and won't back down, so neither should he.
You see, she loves her knight in shining armor with all that she has.
I leave you with my words,
B
I couldn't bring myself to close the email, instead I sat there and absorbed her beautiful words that she somehow always knew that I needed, when I didn't even know I needed the comfort.
*.*.*.*.*
Numerous pings were interrupting my dream, and it was an amazing dream. The dream only starred me and Bella on a white sandy beach with smiles on our faces as we enjoyed the warm sun on our pale skin. I leaned in to kiss her, my tongue begged for entry.
The pings started up again and I groggily opened my eyes. I ran a hand down my face in the effort of waking myself further.
I fell asleep. Shit! I fell asleep!
I picked up my phone and noticed many text messages and voicemails. I nervously opened my texts, one standing out among the rest of them.
You need to get to the hospital. COMPLICATIONS.
I hurried out the door, grabbing whatever my hands could manage, and I began to run as fast as I could toward the hospital. All the while,the more I ran, the more my heart tried to claw its way from my hollow chest.
*.*
Am I forgiven for the cliffy? Also, thank you for all of you who take the time to review and read my stories. It really does mean a lot to me! I read every one of them. Recently, The Missing hit 1k in reviews and I'm still in shock. So thank you. I love you guys!