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Kimberly sat on her bed, her legs dangling over the side. The warmth and tingling sensation from the kiss could still be felt over her lips. She moved her fingers to her lips to feel them, the ghost of his fingers still lingering over her sides and hips. She couldn't believe Sebastian had just kissed her out of the blue like that.
Although, she couldn't exactly understand why she kissed him back either, or why she enjoyed the kiss so much.
When Sebastian had pulled away from the kiss, he had apologized and quickly left the room without another word. She supposed she was thankful to him for not lingering around long enough for her to say anything she would regret. What she couldn't explain though, is that a demon had kissed her out of the blue. Although it could have just been lust or something like that, but unless he had been ordered not to, he wouldn't have stopped with a kiss if that was the answer. Love could be ruled out. He was a demon, demons were incapable of loving another being. Lusting, yes. Loving, no.
She stayed that way for a long time, pondering about the meaning of the kiss and imagining it all over again, wishing she could kiss him again, wondering if she would get the same spark there was when he had kissed her. Whatever his motives were, she was grateful for them, they managed to take her away from the pain of her memories and pull her into a world where none of that mattered and she could be a young girl, fantasizing about being in love with her brother's butler, rather than being an adult and worrying about how her past will affect her life now that it has come back to hit her.
She was interrupted from her daydreaming when a timid knock on the door sounded. She barely felt her lips move, or remember deciding to answer it when she answered for them to enter the room.
Mey-Rin walked in with a smile, her glasses oddly making her eyes look bigger than they were. "My Lady? I was told to help you ready yourself for dinner," she announced, smiling still at her.
Kimberly only nodded and was ushered to the vanity by the young maid. Normally, Kimberly would talk with Mey-Rin, it was just something she enjoyed, having another girl to talk to, even if it was just her maid. But right now, she could hardly summon the energy to move, she wasn't sure how she could move around so fluently when told to by the maid. But eventually, by the time she could feel her limbs again, and felt like she was walking on air, she was all ready for dinner. She didn't know why she needed to get all fancied up for dinner, but then remembered how much Ciel liked to show off.
Whatever the reason, she was still wearing a dress. It was pretty and darker than what Elizabeth would try to put her in. It was a dark indigo color overall, with black lace and strings to the corset. She had small little designs over the dress that looked like black frost covering the dress. She thought it was a lovely dress, so tried not to complain much about it. Her hair was done differently as well, rather than in a braided crown, it was in a bun with braids seeming to swirl in and around it. It was simple, but she thought it was a grown up looking style, so she was happy with it. She turned and thanked Mey-Rin for her help before dismissing her and looking back at the mirror. She looked at herself in the mirror before plastering a smile onto her face and leaving the room, which wasn't as hard as she thought it would be, still giddy from the kiss from Sebastian.
She walked all the way to the dining room on her own, having walked the halls enough times to have created a mental mapped out route from her room to all kinds of places and vice versa. She entered and found that her aunt, Lady Elise, and Ciel were already there. She took her time crossing to the table, Sebastian pulling out the chair for her and pushing her towards the table when she took her seat. She nodded a thank you to him and glanced at Sebastian shyly, remembering the kiss once more and blushed softly and immediately turned her gaze from him to Ciel, just now registering that he had begun to talk.
"So, Lady Elise,-" he began
` "Oh please, none of this 'lady' talk. I am your aunt, why don't you refer to me as such?" she asked, smiling at him some more and made herself somehow seem nicer than she really was.
Ciel nodded slightly and went to correct himself, "Aunt Elise," he began once more, continuing when she gave him a small nod of approval, "I hope you have enjoyed my manor so far," he said, looking at her with a serious look, rather than one you would have when speaking to a family member.
She smiled at him and nodded, "Oh yes, but I am simply glad that I have been able to finally meet my youngest nephew." she said in a happy voice, then added, "and of course my darling little Kimmy."
Kimberly cringed at the nickname, but didn't tell her off for using it. She thought she noticed Sebastian narrow his eyes at her a bit, but when she glanced at him, she noticed he was still smiling and standing by Ciel's side. That was when Mey-Rin brought the cart full of food out for dinner. She was obviously nervous when she did it, but stood by the cart like she was about to announce what was being served when Sebastian interrupted. He announced some really fancy sounding dish and then served it all to us, Mey-Rin only barely managing to not spill any of the wine she served.
Beginning to eat, Kimberly wasn't aware of how much she missed the authentic french cuisine until right now, eating it once again. She wasn't sure how long dinner took but she knew that she wished she had a bigger stomach. She sighed softly once it had finished, and Kimberly stood up after Ciel, the way she always knew it was time to leave the room and go do whatever activities had been planned for after dinner. In Ciel's case, it was going to the entertainment room with their aunt and talking with her as she had requested. And in Kimberly's case, it was spying on them to make sure nothing fishy happened.
Ciel and their aunt moved on to the entertainment room to talk, aunt Elise smiling widely the whole way there while Ciel looked mildly glad. Kimberly remained one hallway behind them the whole time, just close enough to hear what they were saying. Everytime she moved to turn down a hallway, she could only see their heels as they rounded another corner until they successfully reached the entertainment room.
Kimberly heard the door shut behind them and stood just outside the door, listening in to try and see if she could catch any conversation. She was glad that she had pretty good hearing so she could hear their conversation well enough to form sentences.
"So, Aunt Elise," Ciel began, you could hear the hesitation to address her so casually in his voice, "Where have you been all this time?" he asked, she could hear him sitting down on one of the loveseats as he spoke to her.
"I was in France, of course. When Kimberly ran away, I was worried sick. My Darling little neice didn't have anywhere to go. I hired many, many people to search for her, but we never found her. I didn't want to leave my home in case she came home one day, so I never did. But one day, when my maids were cleaning out her room, they found the article that she had been sent by your mother's sister, saying that you were alive. I knew she had to be here, but I couldn't leave France until several months later. It was never my intention to remain a mystery to you." she said. Kimberly was sure Ciel believed the story, but without her face to make her feel bad for the woman, she could hear right through the woman, knowing that something had to have been going on that she wasn't telling.
"Hm. Well then, I am glad you have finally decided to visit us here at my manor," he said, his proud smile evident through his voice.
"Yes of course, but, one other thing," she began, but Kimberly wasn't able to listen in any longer, as she had felt a pair of hands close around her shoulders, pulling her back into a body.
"Eavesdropping does not become of you, my lady," Sebastian commented, smiling down at her, but it was an artificial one, like those he gave to our guests. He never smiled a genuine smile, not towards her at least.
"S-Sebastian!" she cried out, forgetting to be quiet and then clamped a hand over her mouth and said in a more hushed tone, "What on Earth are you doing sneaking up behind me like that?!" she whispered furiously, trying to stay as quiet as she could possibly be at the moment. She sighed some and frowned at him a bit, but it slowly faded when an apologetic look fell over Sebastian's face.
He placed a hand to his heart and gave her an 'I'm-sorry-will-you-forgive-me?' look. He looked down at her and cocked his head like the way a bird would do when it is trying to understand something better. "I apologize my lady," he said with a small pout placed carefully on his face, "will you forgive me for being so very rude?" he asked, though she knew he didn't mean the apology.
Though she sighed and had no other choice than to forgive him, "fine, but don't do it again," she said, looking away and slowly looked back over at the door, deciding to give up on listening into the conversation, as it would be impossible to understand where the conversation went after she was interrupted from listening in. She crossed her arms and turned back to Sebastian and looked up at him, blushing ever so softly as she was reminded of the kiss he gave her earlier that day. She couldn't stand to look at him whenever she thought about it, afraid her face would become so hot that it would burst into flames or she would say something she didn't want to.
However, Sebastian seemed to beat her to it. He looked down at her, not nearly as uncomfortable as her as he said with yet another fake smile, "My lady, would you mind if I have a word with you?" he asked, looking down at her and she swore he was trying to blush just from the small smile he gave her. If she didn't know any better, she would have described the look as sheepish.
She nodded a bit so that she wouldn't have to speak. She didn't trust her voice not to crack if she were to tell him he could, in fact, give her the answers she has been screaming for mentally. Sebastian lead her away from the hallway and down a hallway she had never wandered down. It was funny. This manor was so large, she could walk through it for days and still wouldn't have been in every hallway, every room, every trap door or compartment that might lead to another place entirely.
Just as she was beginning to get dizzy from all the twists and turns, Sebastian opened a door for her and gestured for her to enter the room. Of course, when she did, she looked around it and she had never seen a room so beautiful. So large. It was gorgeous, there were large windows that looked over the garden and the forest. Bay windows made it so that light shone in, not even needing candles in the room as the light from the moon and stars already filled it with so much natural light that it appeared to be fully bathed in light. There were black and blue drapes that hung on the windows, falling to the ground they were so elegantly long. The floor was marvelous even, hard wood polished until it gleamed and there was a large, deep blue rug that was placed in the very center of the room. The room held several seats, mainly couches and loveseats and all of them were a collection of deep blues and blacks. There were mirrors practically everywhere where there weren't windows.
Kimberly walked farther into the room looking around and taking in the marvelous designs in the chandelier she almost missed that was high above her head. There were beautiful designs in all the furniture that looked almost too small to see and she couldn't believe that this room, with it's gorgeous designs and beautiful decor, had been unseen by her curious eyes until this very moment.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Sebastian asked, his voice ringing through her ears and pulling her back to reality. She looked at him through the mirror in front of her rather than turning around and looking at him directly. She looked into his deep eyes that seemed to almost glow in the dim light of the room. He was walking slowly closer to her, just by mere inches, but she could still tell he was moving closer. She nodded in agreement to his question and waited for him to continue.
His expression changed from delightful to a mourned look. "My Lady, I would like to apologize more my behavior early today. It was uncalled for and I will take more care to keep myself from acting in such a way again." he said, apologizing for the kiss, most likely.
At this, Kimberly turned around instead of looking at him through the mirror and found that he was closer to her than she thought, but she didn't mind. She looked up into his mourned face and moved closer to him, looking into his eyes as though searching for something that wasn't there. Seeming to find what she was looking for, she took a careful step forward and cleared her throat slightly, just in case and began what she had been aching to tell him and before she could stop it, the words fell out faster than she wanted the to be voiced.
"Sebastian, you are a butler, the head butler no better. You are a demon, you are incapable of anything I might want from you and I understand that. Demons cannot love, only lust. They cannot mourn, or grieve; you cannot feel. I am not fully human and god only knows how badly I crave these feelings. I want to love, to hope, to be loved. But Sebastian, no matter how greatly I want you, or feel like I should be with you, I can't because I don't want to be the one to expect these emotions from you." she said, not allowing him to interrupt her, "I am an abomination, I am part demon and part human. Hybrids do not belong in the world and I am sad to say that you and Ciel are the only things holding me to Earth." she didn't know where all of this was coming from, but it felt amazing to get off her chest, so she continued her little speech. "After Ciel is gone, you will be gone, and I will no longer have a purpose in this world. My family will all be dead and I won't have anything any longer, so Sebastian, if demons can't love, why did you kiss me? Why did you pull me along like I might have some other purpose in this word other than to keep my brother safe? Why did you have to go and make me feel better than I should?" she asked, finishing her little rant. She glared up at him through blurry eyes as she had only just realized how twisted her mind was. Did she truly believe that she wasn't worth anything? That she didn't have a purpose in this world? She never really thought about, never wanting to.
She looked down at her feet and she thought that Sebastian would never answer her until she felt his arms wrap around her lovingly. She felt his lips press against the top of her head as she allowed herself to be engulfed in the comforting gesture. She slowly hugged him back and sniffled, clinging to him desperately. He held her close to his body, and they remained that way for a long time, or it felt like a long time. She didn't know why he was comforting her, what she said was true, demons can't love. But she still couldn't wrap her mind around it all.
Finally, Sebastian broke the silence and he said in a gentle tone in her ear, "Demons do love. In fact, they love more than humans do. We feel every emotion you have and more, but the difference is that we feel in greater than you do, but we hide it better." he said, holding her closer. But only once thought stuck in her mind.
'Demons do love.'
((Hey guys! Thank you so much for waiting so long for this update, I am really sorry for making you wait so long, but sadly, my parents banned me so yeah ^^" Anyways, I hope you enjoyed the chapter, another one will come soon!))