The Scholarship
Episode 4: Hot Seat
I think this has to be one of the longest days of my life. Well, today and yesterday. It was only yesterday that Karofsky had his expulsion over turned and I fled McKinley out of fear for my life…Then, today, I got woken up at about half five by dad, and I was on the road by six thirty. From then on everything just spiralled away from my control…I became a sort of Dalton boy, I had to put my faith in a bunch of complete strangers…I found out that everything at Dalton is way harder than anything I envisioned, and I'm not going be at Sectionals…
"Kurt!" Kurt had barely stepped through the door before he was assaulted by a pack of girls. Having only expected Mercedes, he was incredibly surprised to find all the girls from the New Directions hugging him.
"Kurt it's so good to see you again!" exclaimed Tina, stepping back to give him some breathing space. There were even happy smiles on Quinn and Santana's faces, and he couldn't help but grin as he slid into the booth, and noted Mercedes' smirk.
"I'm flattered," he said, as the others piled in around them. "I've only been gone a day." there were shrugs.
"The choir room feels different." there were nods at Quinn's words and Kurt smiled at the blonde cheerio, feeling touched by her words.
"But what we really wanted to know is, how's Dalton?" Rachel had fixed him with a business like stare.
"What happened?" demanded Mercedes. "Finn said you didn't have the audition today. So what did you do? And why are you dressed like that?" Kurt took a deep breath.
"They've given me, like, a kind of…trial week, if you like." there were raised eyebrows. "Basically it's a week of free tuition until I have my scholarship audition next week."
"Why are they delaying it?" asked Tina, sipping her drink whilst staring at him with a frown. Kurt sighed again.
"Sectionals…they don't want Blaine distracted, or something." there were raised eyebrows.
"That's it! That's their excuse!" Mercedes looked ready to vent steam in indignation, and Kurt shrugged.
"Yeah…I guess." there was a pause in which Mercedes huffed, and the others frowned. "It's not so bad." assured Kurt. "I think I'm gonna need some time to get use to Dalton, anyway." there were raised eyebrows again. A look of concern crept onto Rachel's face.
"Why?" she asked, almost cautiously.
"It's just so different from McKinley. I mean, they have so many new rules…like, if a Captain of any kind of team comes walking down a corridor, you have to part like the friggin' Red Sea, same with teachers. Also, if a teacher walks into a classroom you have to stand up, and you can't sit down until they say so…and you can't stare at teachers, or meet their gaze at certain times, because it's "disrespectful" or something." the jaws of most of the girls had dropped open. Santana looked somewhat horrified, one of Quinn's eyebrows was arching delicately, Tina had wide eyes, Rachel had her face perfectly schooled into a looked that screamed "SHOCKED!" and Mercedes was just giving him a "you're-kidding-right?" look. Only Brittany looked completely unruffled.
"That sounds amazing!" exclaimed Rachel and Santana snorted loudly. Rachel shot her an annoyed look, before turning back to Kurt. "Do you like it?" Kurt shrugged.
"I don't know…it's nice to be able to walk down a corridor without being physically shoved into a locker or having a derogatory comment thrown at you, but…" he broke off, shrugging. "I think it's just going to take some time to get use to."
"So…" said Santana. "are all the boys roasting in their uniform?" Kurt smirked back at the Latina, trying to keep Blaine as far from his mind as he could.
"Yes, tells us all about Blaine!" Kurt groaned, as the eyes of the other girls lit up at Tina's words. Kurt shrugged.
"I don't know…I didn't see him that much today…he kind of…he helped to show me around, and get my books for the first lesson, and get the uniform and stuff, but then he sort of disappeared." there were more raised eyebrows, and most of them leant in to hear what they thought would be a juicy bit of gossip. "He got a phone call," explained Kurt calmly. "and then he went to answer it, but he never showed up again."
"Who called?" Kurt shrugged at Mercedes.
"I don't know…he just said he had to take it."
"Boyfriend?" asked Tina, after a little pause. Kurt shook his head.
"Nope, he likes the head boy."
"What, that Sebastian you were talking about?" Kurt nodded at Rachel.
"Yeah, and it doesn't help that they're doing a duet at Sectionals…and I'm wearing his uniform." there were more disbelieving looks at that.
"I thought it didn't fit." mused Mercedes. "He's…bigger that you." Kurt snorted in agreement.
"I think you'll find the word "broader" is what's meant to be used." the rest of the girls sniggered.
"Is there no way for you to get a solo at Sectionals?" asked Rachel, and Kurt could feel his face fall.
"Kurt?" he sighed.
"I'm not going to even be at Sectionals, let alone singing solo." there were shocked gasps from the girls at that.
"But Kurt," said Brittany in a sad voice. "you have to come…we won't be the New Directions without you! We'll be, like, the Wrong Directions." Kurt burst out into laughter, along with the other girls.
"Sorry, Britt, but I don't know what I can do."
"So you're not going to do anything?" asked Rachel, sounding almost scandalised. Kurt shrugged.
"I don't know…I think, tomorrow, I might go and ask Mr Lucey - he's the music director - whether I can get an audition, but he seems weird. He wanted to let me into the school because having me would allow him to have all the von Trapp children."
"Despite the fact that five of them are girls?" Kurt shrugged.
"I know…that's what I said. He said he got it from nicknames." he shrugged again. "But I'm not sure he likes me, he kind of acted odd when Mr Hammonds said I was going to sing against Blaine, like he thought I was going to be terrible!"
"But he doesn't know how amazing you are." said Mercedes confidently.
"Yeah, you'll go in and knock his socks off." agreed Rachel.
"And, hopefully, Blaine's clothes too." Kurt turned scarlet at Santana's grin and both Tina and Quinn choked on their drinks. Mercedes and Rachel both couldn't help but smile at the look of scandalised shock on Kurt's face, and Brittany tipped her head to the side.
"I'm not sure it would be good to have sex in front of your teachers, it might be awkward, especially with it being your first time." Kurt began to splutter in shock as the others cracked up, Mercedes spitting her drink all over the table. Kurt, utterly mortified by the cheerleaders' words, threw the napkins into Mercedes face, glowering at their smirking faces.
"Shut up!" they just continued to laugh, and, eventually, Kurt found himself dissolving into laughter too.
It was such a relaxing situation, sitting in Breadsitxs with friends. Whatever my relationship with them has been. However frigid our relationship may have been, and however petty our squabbles, they're here for me now. These were the ones that tried to stand up for me, too, eventually. It was the girls that got behind me and spurred the boys into action…They're here for me when I need them…I guess that's the way the New Directions works. We stab each other in the back, and we scream, and storm out, but we love each other…and we're there, when it matters, and I still have them. Wherever my Dalton life may take me…I've got them.
This is truly the longest day of my life. The best part of my day, without a doubt, was dinner at Breadstixs with the New Directions ladies. We sat and talked for hours, and they took great pleasure of making fun of my crush (I think I'm in love but I am not telling them that) on Blaine, and giving me their fierce opinion on all the people I've met. Now, I'm on the drive to Dalton. It's late and they've locked the gates…and I'm on the wrong side!
Kurt slammed his head into the steering wheel of his car. He had parked his car on the long, winding, road that led up to Dalton, and he had no idea what he was meant to do now. It would have been okay, he reckoned, if he had the mobile numbers of any of the Dalton boys, but he didn't. He was completely alone. He had turned the engine off because he didn't want to drain the car, but now he was beginning to get cold.
Though he would never admit it, Kurt was beginning to get scared. He was half tempted to call his dad, but his dad could only call the reception desk of Dalton, and - given the fact that they'd locked the gates - there wasn't likely to be anyone there. He could, also, drive back to Lima, but he wasn't sure that that was safe; he was exhausted, and he could feel his eyelids drooping. It looked like he'd have to sleep in his car…That was a depressing and terrifying thought. He totally didn't feel safe. It was completely dark all around him.
Kurt let out a long, exaggerated sigh, and reached for the torch that his dad had schooled him to keep in his glove box. He pulled it out, and turned it on, feeling comforted by the soft white beam, that spilt out of the windscree, and spread out across the bonnet of his car, just reaching the iron railings before him. He reached for the scarf that lay on the seat next to him, and wound it tightly round his neck. When that was done he opened the car door, removing the keys from the ignition at the same time, and stepped outside, shivering, and slamming the door behind him. He pulled his coat a little tighter around him, and trudged up to the high railings, the torch clamped tightly in his right hand.
The Dalton stood before him, an impressive shadow looming above him. The grounds were pitch black. The grass completely still due to the lack of wind. The main building was completely black, not even the faintest orange glow shining through the windows, but there were faint glimmers from the three housing buildings, and it made Kurt sigh, resting his head against the cold metal, his left hand clutching the railing before him.
"K-Kurt!" Kurt spun around, torch raised to clobber the person that had appeared behind him. He stopped though when saw, illuminated by the glow of their own torch, Thad standing before him, looking completely baffled. Kurt lowered his torch, switching it off when he noticed it's glow was redundant in the presence of Thad's heavy duty one.
"Thad!" he exclaimed. "Don't sneak up on people!" the boy, wrapped in long black coat with a blue and red scarf around his neck, smiled, sheepishly at him.
"Sssorry." Kurt could feel his heart, that had rocketed into overdrive when it had processed the noise as a possible attack, continue to thud as the adrenaline took time to wear out of his body. Kurt blinked, rubbing his free hand over his eyes.
"What are you doing here?" Thad, though, didn't answer. He continued to frown at Kurt, and then moved passed him to one of the pillars that supported the gate. He opened what looked like a tiny box, and punched in a code. The gates began to slide apart, and Kurt blinked in shock. Thad gave him, and then his car, a pointed look, and Kurt got the message. Mutely, Thad walked back to his own car, that Kurt was surprised to have not heard, and Kurt got into his own, driving into the school, and letting Thad close the gate behind him.
Kurt didn't feel relaxed, or vaguely safe, until he'd parked his car, and the constantly silent Thad had climbed out and come to stand by his side. With merely a brief gesture with his head, he began to lead Kurt back to Dalton. There was something odd about his presence, and Kurt noticed that he was wearing smart black trousers, not uniform. Had he been out on a date?
Thad punched in another code that allowed them to enter the entrance hall of Franklin. Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief as the door closed behind them. It was warmer in here, and he copied Thad as he took off his shoes. Thad shed his coat, and, again, Kurt copied him. Thad hung it up on a hook, and gestured to an empty one that Kurt could use. Kurt hung his coat up, and followed Thad into the common room. It was a little chilly, but Thad was already fiddling with a heater, holding his hands over it. Kurt took in Thad's appearance. He was wearing a black waistcoat and bow tie with a plain white shirt. He looked incredibly smart, and Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"Date?" Thad jumped and saw that Kurt was still standing behind him. Slowly, he shook his head. Kurt nodded. "So…um, could you tell me those codes, in case that happens again." Thad made a noncommittal movement with his head.
"To Franklin…yes. The g-gate…no." Kurt frowned. He moved over to the radiator and began to warm his hands too.
"Why not?" he asked, genuinely confused. Thad swallowed, opened his mouth, seemed to stumble, then shrugged.
"Permissssion." Kurt nodded, slowly, in understanding, and Thad made to move off, quickly. Kurt followed him, up the stairs, and saw that Thad swing the door to his room open and freeze.
"Thad?" Thad spun around, frowning, clearly questioning his presence. "What's wrong?"
"Blaine…surprise." was all he said, and Kurt, walked over, standing over Thad, and peering into the room. Both the beds were made and completely empty. Kurt made an "ahh" of understanding.
"You didn't know he'd be out." Thad shook his head, before he shrugged. He made to move into the room and close the door, but Kurt caught the door. "Where's Blaine gone? I mean, did he come back? I haven't seen him since before lunch." Thad gave him a look that plainly asked why he cared. Kurt sighed, not understanding the Warbler before him. He sighed, wondering why he did care.
I'm in love with him. I took one look at his perfect features, and I just fell for it. Those hazel eyes. Those clearly tamed curls. I wonder what they look like loose. I just…I want to know him. I've never wanted anything this badly before. It's worse than Finn…far, far worse. It's…it's an uncontrollable fire inside of me. It's eating me up. It's destroying any capability for rational thought. It's…I care because…I care because I didn't choose to…it just happened! Just like everything else in my life it seems to be completely out of my control. This is getting frustrating.
Blaine never made it back to Franklin. Blaine never made it to dinner. Neither did David. After Warblers, in which him and Sebastian were successfully voted as the leads, and they even got the song done. The choreography was coming along quite well. David was the one in charge of that, and even Luc had looked impressed by some of the moves he'd pulled.
The two of them had been called back by Wes who had presently left the two of them, promising that he would be back soon. The two Warblers had then been left standing, together, in the choir room.
"Aren't you mad at Sebastian?" that was the first thing David had demanded. Blaine shook his head.
"They never said it'd be last night." David arched an eyebrow.
"Sebastian might not have said it you…but Wes told me." that flawed Blaine for a second.
"Ah…" he frowned. "Look, I don't know what's going on, but…look I trust Sebastian." David rolled his eyes.
"Yeah, but you also love him."
"And you idolise Wes." they reached a stalemate in their semi-argument. David sighed, rolling his eyes, and flopping onto a sofa.
"What happened to you?" he asked, suddenly. "You know you're in deep shit with your teachers…skiving off like that." Blaine shrugged.
"I just…I needed some time to think…ended up having some sort of heart-to-heart with Luc." David looked at him, once, expecting him to say he was joking. Once he saw Blaine's completely straight face, he burst out laughing.
"Seriously! You had a heart to heart with Luc!" Blaine nodded, and then raised his eyebrows.
"It's not that funny. Weird as he may be, but he's not a bad guy…he gives quite good advice, despite what he says." David nodded, pulling a contemplative face. Then he burst out laughing again.
"I'm sorry! I just- I can't imagine having a meaningful conversation with Luc…it's too much for my mind." Blaine nodded, slumping down onto the sofa next to him.
"I know… I know what you mean, but, still, Luc's a pretty awesome guy." David sighed.
"Yeah…I dunno, I get the impression he doesn't really like me." Blaine managed to crack a small smile.
"He does like you…he just, he doesn't like you as much as he does people like Wes, Sebastian, Juri…"
"You." Blaine paused for a second, before he nodded.
"Yeah…I guess." they fell into silence once more. David tapped out the beat of the song that they were going to perform against his knee. Blaine looked at him, some words hovering on the tip of his tongue that he desperately wanted to say.
"I don't think I'm going to throw it." David's head snapped around. He blinked rapidly, looking shocked.
"What?" Blaine sighed, his body sinking into the sofa cushions a little more.
"Cooper called."
"What?"
"I know." he said, rubbing a hand over his eyes. "It shocked me too. He's coming home early, and he said he'd be there for the Autumn Concert." David groaned out loud, sensing where this was going. "And he said that he was going to convince dad to come." David threw his hands over his face.
"That is just…man, your luck sucks!" Blaine snorted.
"You're telling me! He said dad would only come, though, if I sang solo. He thinks that, now he's an "actor", he can convince dad that my singing is a gift as opposed to some dirty little secret. He thinks that if dad sees how talented I am, he might just be swayed." David groaned.
"Oh god…that's just…man that sucks."
"I know, right?" David paused, running a hand over his head.
"Do you think, though, that your father will be pleased to see you singing on stage with another guy…one that you're going to blatantly flirt with…without even thinking about it." Blaine groaned, wondering exactly how every conversation he had managed to turn itself into a teasing fest about him and Sebastian.
"David…"
"I'm just saying…when the two of you are on stage together it's like no one else exists, you flirt shamelessly. I mean, you put Nick to shame." Blaine turned scarlet. He grabbed one of the cushions and began to attack David. He beat the taller boy off the sofa. David growled, and stood up, glaring at Blaine's smirking face. "You're dead, Anderson!" he snatched up another cushion and flew at Blaine. Their bodies collided, and both boys let out loud "oofs" off pain as the wind was knocked from their bodies.
They toppled off the sofa, whacking each other as hard as they could with the pillows, quite forgetting the decorum they were meant to have as students of Dalton Academy. They emitted loud yells and cries as they continued to pound each other in a friendly manner, and, so, didn't hear anybody re-entering the room. The moment they realised there were other people in the choir room with them was when they were grabbed off the floor, rather roughly, a gag went into Blaine's mouth, and he fought as he could, hearing David struggling too. However, his resistance was cut short when bag was stuffed over his head, and he was lifted bodily from the ground.
I don't know how many times that I've thought this, but it's not going away; I do not understand this school! Thad's closed his door, now, not saying another word after that thing about not expecting Blaine to be out. Juri's fast asleep, but he's still got his headphones hooked up to a walkman. I'm not sure whether I should take them off or not. He's not the tidiest of roommates…we're going to have a serious talk about that if this arrangement is going to work…and there's too much music - never thought I'd say that - but this guy needs some sort of filing system because he's just leaving sheet music and manuscript paper all over the floor.
Kurt removed the last bits of paper, and books, from his side of the room and sat down on his bed. For some reason, despite being ready to fall asleep when he was back in the car, he suddenly didn't feel tired at all. Kurt now felt alert, and more than a little bit confused and worried. There was something wrong with Thad, though none of the other boys he'd spoken with seemed to think that so maybe he was just overreacting because he was new, but in Kurt's mind, no one should be that quiet. It just seemed…unhealthy, and the stuttering too, that was a bit odd. Kurt had heard him answer questions in both classes without a trace of hesitation, or drawing out the sound of words like he did with the word "sorry", or "s" sounds in general.
Then there was Blaine. Again, he might be missing something because Thad didn't seem fazed and he was new, but it didn't feel right that Blaine was gone at this time of the night, with no one knowing where he was. However, Kurt didn't know whether he was just overreacting because he was a touch jumpy after everything that had happened at McKinley - Kurt was beginning to realise that the bullying had affected him more than he'd thought - or whether he ought to be running around and calling the police because Blaine was missing.
And why, oh why, could he not get Blaine out of his head? Stupid hormone poisoning. Whatever he was feeling was due to his overactive hormones…stupid endorphins. Kurt hated the heightened state of emotions that he seemed to find himself in; he could flit from being calm, to angry, to worried, to confused, to relaxed, to happy, within the duration of a couple of minutes. He could go from feeling overwhelmed by the apparent care he was being shown by the Dalton boys, to infuriated because they didn't seem to care enough.
It was too much for Kurt. He buried his head in his pillow. He'd never seen himself as someone who would get homesick, but he suddenly missed his father. He missed the dresser that smelt like his mother. He had never wanted to go and lie down by it more than now. It was like someone had carved out a hole in his heart. He'd always had his home, no matter what, he'd always been able to go back to his house and be in a place of safety. It was like a sanctuary, but he couldn't drive home whenever he want…it was a four hour round trip. He was stuck at Dalton, alone.
He needed that feeling of security because he felt so vulnerable in that moment. So vulnerable because he felt like he was in a world he didn't understand. He was in a world he didn't understand. Dalton had it's rules, and it's residents had their quirks, and everyone else understood that, but Kurt. Kurt was the outsider. He felt like that. With all their pointed looks, and understanding, but they couldn't understand. Only Blaine could because it had happened to him, and even then it wasn't the same. Blaine's future had never been uncertain; he'd gotten straight in because he came from some rich family, but Kurt couldn't do that because his dad wasn't ridiculously rich.
The scream he let out into the pillow was muffled. Kurt had never known himself to loose control like this, but in the moment he needed a release, and this time it had to be that. He screamed, hot tears that he'd held back for weeks finally falling down his face. He picked up the pillow, and flung it across the room, the tears continuing to pour from his eyes and down his cheeks. He was so angry.
Why did this happen to me? Why did people care? What did it matter if I like guys? Why did Karofsky have to do that to me? Why did he have to be so selfish? He took my first proper kiss from me! Brittany wasn't my first kiss…she was just a…a stupid mistake! It didn't count! She was just…I can't even describe how unreal my relationship with Brittany was! But Karofsky…he kissed me with…with passion! It was angry, and it was full of self-loathing, but it was real, and I don't even like him, not like that, I couldn't because…He threatened to kill me! I was terrified because…I believed him! I thought…I genuninely thought he would kill me! I just- he's ruined everything! I feel like I have nothing now…but…I just…I don't understand how I could feel so…alive, and happy, and loved a few hours ago…but now…now I feel empty, alone.
Blaine's heart was going crazy when he was placed on the ground. Judging by the cold air, and the smell of trees, Blaine guessed he'd been carried around to the back of Dalton. In fact he was probably underneath the tree house. He wondered if David was next to him. He could hear shallow breathing, and feet crossing the grass. Blaine would have called out if the gag hadn't been covering his mouth. He would have gotten to his feet, but his coordination could be dodgy at the best of times, and he couldn't guarantee he wouldn't just fall flat on his face.
Suddenly, two hands came inside the bag. Blaine leapt from fright, and then tried to curse as they tied a blindfold around his eyes. He could feel the bag come off, and the gag was removed from his mouth. He panted, heavily, a couple of times, flexing his mouth before he called out.
"David!"
"Shh!" two hands clamped over his mouth, but Blaine felt the tension leave his body. Even from that small noise he recognised the voice.
"Sebastian?" he got no reply though, and then his own name was called.
"Blaine!" there was another shushing sound, and then David's faint reply of; "Wes?"
"Climb the tree." it wasn't Wes or Sebastian's but Blaine definitely recognised it. He was pulled to his feet, and his hands were placed against a branch.
"I can't." he said, voice cracking. He didn't want to let Sebastian down, but he couldn't climb a tree blindfolded in the dark. There was a pause before David spoke.
"If we fall, would you catch us?" there was a low chuckle.
"What else do you think we'd do?" he heard David sigh, and then grunt as he pulled himself up the tree. Blaine swallowed. He closed his eyes, and reached.
It was easily one of the scariest moments in his life. The only one that he thought that was comparable to this was the time he'd had the crap beaten out of him after the Sadie Hawkins Dance; he'd thought the boys might kill him, and strangely enough, he felt kind of similar right now. He knew that there was someone, not David because David was above him, climbing next to him. He guessed that if something happened they'd grab him, but it was disorientating, and he kept second guessing every move he made, worried that something would snap.
"You know," he heard David say, and guessed that he'd reached the tree house. "you really need to get a rope ladder." there was laughter at that, and Blaine felt his hands connect with the horizontal wood of the tree house floor.
"Come on, Blaine." he heard voices egging him on as he pushed himself up, and crawled inside. Unlike David, Blaine couldn't think of anything witty to say. He just felt sick, and dizzy. He could feel the sweat, even though it was a cold night, trickling off him. He took a huge breath, tried to straighten up, and promptly toppled over backwards.
"Whoa!" exclaimed several people, and Blaine guessed he'd just come pretty close to falling out of the tree house backwards.
"Take it easy." that was definitely Wes, and Blaine allowed himself to be pushed and pulled to safety.
"Can we take these blindfolds of now?" he demanded. "Before I kill myself." there was more laughter, and the blindfold was removed from his eyes.
Blaine looked around the tree house and saw that every surface had been draped in black. His eyes met David's and was slightly annoyed to find his friend looking completely unruffled, and clearly eager for whatever was going to happen next. Blaine was meant to be the unflappable one, but right now the only time he'd been more out of his depth had been his first week or so at Dalton.
"What the fuck?" he demanded, and looked for Sebastian who was smirking at him, actually fucking smirking. There was a moment of silence in which the other people in the tree house realised that Blaine was actually angry.
"Blaine take a deep breath." said Sebastian, walking towards his palms facing Blaine and fingers splayed, as if he was some sort of wild animal. Blaine, despite his desire to rage and storm, took a deep gulp of air. "I know you hate heights, and I promise that if anything had happened we would have been there to grab you…it's just…" he trailed off, expression turning beseeching. "we were just testing you."
"And you passed." added Wes. "with full marks." there was a moment in which Blaine and David looked at each other.
"Wait! Wait!" said David, blinking in confusion. "That was our initiation." Wes and Sebastian shared sneaky looks.
"That was phase one of your initiation." Sebastian nodded, before turning to his blonde friend.
"Liam, if you would?" the boy nodded, snatched up a rope and freakin' leapt from the tree house. There must have been some pulley system in place because a hook with a weight on the end came rocketing up, and Liam gave the boys the thumbs up when he hit the ground. Blaine turned to meet David's gaze again, both boys wondering what they'd gotten themselves into.
I'm so tired. That's the problem. I'm just so tired of feeling scared and lonely, and lost. I just- I can't talk to anyone. Not dad, he'd just get angry, and whilst he tries to be understanding he just can't…and there's really no one else that I trust enough. Mercedes is my friend, but I just…it's too confusing for me. I can't even explain how I feel most of the time.
He sunk his head back down onto bed, despite there being no pillow. He let the tears fall, knowing that it might make him feel better in the long run. He was desperate for some kind of release about the whole thing. He just…he thought moving away from McKinley, out of Lima, would give him that, but the sudden change in his life left him feeling disconnected and lonely. It wasn't helping him at all. It was almost like he needed to talk about it, but he didn't want to. He didn't…he didn't think that he could really say how he felt to anyone. He was more than happy to say he was in love with Blaine, even to his face, because that feeling made him so happy, but the others…the ones that cut straight through him…he felt as if he would be exposing everything he was if he talked about it.
A large part of Kurt wanted to get up and sing, but it was the middle of the night, and he highly doubted that any of the other people in Franklin would appreciate him doing that. He got to his feet, and moved into the bathroom. There he picked up the box of tissues that he guessed Juri kept there, and blew his nose. He threw it in the bin, and then washed his face, trying to get rid of any trace of the tear tracks. He opened a cupboard and drew out a fresh hand towel rubbing it over his face, and noting that he was too pale. He sighed, running a hand across his face.
Kurt walked out of the bathroom. He glanced at Juri, and then did a double take as he noticed the navy blue collar of his Dalton blazer. Kurt crept over to his side, and peeled back the duvet cover, and, sure enough, he saw that Juri was fully dressed in his Dalton uniform. Kurt shook his head, and tugged the headphones off his ears, and pressed the pause button on his walkman. Straightening up, Kurt frowned as he continued to hear the tinkle of a piano. He had assumed it had been Juri's music, but now he was unsure. Striding to the door, he opened it, and wandered down the hallway and peered over the banister into the common. There was another piano there, and there was a dark haired boy sitting at it. Kurt crept down the stairs, intrigued, as he heard only chords, no definite melody, and he certainly didn't recognise it.
Wait for me!
Wait for me!
The melody off the two sung vocal lines was simple; he started high and fell down in the form of an arpeggio, his voice increasing in volume on the second one. Kurt didn't recognise this at all, and he was beginning to wonder whether the boy at the piano had written it himself.
And I will come!
The notes were higher, and he was clearly reaching the top of his vocal range as he climbed up to the word "will". His voice almost cracked as he held the note, and when he resolved, down, onto the "come" he sounded far more certain. Kurt crept up behind him, and then tripped over a textbook on the floor. He slammed, hard, into floor with a yell, and the boy at the piano stool.
"Kurt?" Kurt peered up, and saw that Thad was staring down him, incredulously. Kurt stood up, brushing down his uniform and smiling, slightly, at the other boy.
"Sorry, I heard the piano…I was curious, did you write that yourself?" Thad, who had begun to give him a suspicious look, slowly nodded. Kurt took a seat in an armchair and stared at him. "Why are you still awake?" Thad gave Kurt a look that said; 'I-could-ask-you-the-same-thing!'. Kurt sighed. It was difficult having a conversation with Thad. "What house are the others in?" he asked, eventually, having only seen Thad in here. Thad stared, blankly at him. Kurt fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You know, Nick, Jeff, David…"
"Harriot, Putnam, Putnam, Harriot." Kurt paused for a second, before realising that Nick was in Harriot, and Jeff and David were in Putnam.
"Flint's in Harriot?" he asked, for clarification. Thad nodded. Kurt noticed that Thad had changed out of the smart clothes he had been wearing, and was now in tracksuit bottoms and a plain white t-shirt. His hair was messy, and he looked pale faced in the yellow glow of the lamp by the piano. Kurt didn't really know what to do or say. "Are you…Thad are you okay?" Thad frowned at him.
"You…you don't ask me that." Kurt raised an eyebrow.
"Um…what?" Thad shook his head, and got to his feet.
"No one asks me that." and it was only when Thad had left the common room, and walked into his bedroom, that Kurt realised he had not stuttered or paused once in that sentence.
Okay…that was odd. There's something wrong with him, but I'm not…allowed?- to ask what. I wish the others were in my house. I think that if Nick or Jeff were here I wouldn't feel half as confused. They might not answer my questions, but I'm sure that they'd cheer me up. I hope that, when tomorrow rolls around I'll find it less confusing…and I get some singing practise done because I can't let myself get distracted.
Blaine had no idea what was going on when he and David were sat on the ground in the middle of the circle of seniors. Liam had returned and handed them both a bowl full of beans. Him and David were facing each other, and staring at Sebastian and Wes, respectively, who they could see over the others' shoulders. They were both smiling, but Blaine didn't know if that was a good thing or not. Like all the boys at Dalton, including himself, their favourite form of humour was the humiliation and/or accidental harm of another.
"Alright, this task is simple. All you have to do is eat the beans." Blaine looked at David, both thinking the same thing; what's the catch?
"And?" prompted David.
"No and." said Wes with a childish grin. "Just eat the beans." Blaine looked at David, neither one of them inclined to eat one first. Sebastian rolled his eyes.
"Come on, guys, don't you trust us at all?"
"Not with that smile on your face, Wes." said David, and the other boys laughed. Blaine frowned down at the bowl. He didn't really get what was going on, but he wanted to be in with Sebastian and the others. He reached down and took a bean. He put it into his mouth.
"Urgh!" he cried, spitting it out, almost choking. "That's rubber!" he exclaimed, spitting onto the floor. All the Seniors were rolling around in laughter. They all cackled. David picked the bowl turned around and threw the beans onto Wes' head.
"Second phase, complete, for David." Blaine gaped at them.
"What?"
"You're already trusted us, Blaine…why would it test it again?" Blaine flushed, glaring at Sebastian. Wes beckoned to David.
"Come David, sit in the circle." David squished in between Wes and Mac. Blaine ground his teeth.
"So, what now?"
"Liam?" the blonde got back to his feet, stretched once and produced a live rat from inside a box at the back of the tree house. He handed it, inside it's cage, to Blaine. Blaine raised his eyebrows.
"Um…what?" the boys shrugged.
"You decide what to do with it." said Sebastian, leaning back slightly, and Blaine reckoned he understood. Wes and Sebastian shared a common phobia of rats. They knew that one of him and David would fail the challenge, and so were giving them chance for revenge. Blaine tilted his head to the side.
"If I dropped it from here, would it die?"
"I hope so." muttered Wes and David shot him a look that said 'It's-not-the-rats-fault'. Wes shrugged and Sebastian shivered and scooted out of the way as Blaine made his way to the door of the tree house. Blaine sighed and turned to Liam.
"Could you take this and let it free?" Liam rolled his eyes, clearly wondering why he bothered to catch it in the first place, and swung himself down. The circle burst into applause.
"Right choice." said Wes and Sebastian indicated to the space that had be Liam's. Blaine sat down and Sebastian leant towards him, his lips millimetres from his ears.
"Thank you," he breathed. "I hate rats." Blaine smiled, trying to ignore the shivers that were running down his spine at Sebastian's close proximity and his low voice.
"I know," Blaine muttered in return. "that's why I did it." he could feel the heat in his cheeks as the rest of the circle stared at them.
"Thank you." breathed Sebastian again, and retracted himself from Blaine's personal space as Liam returned, rolled his eyes at the sight of his stolen seat, and squished in somewhere else.
"Right, now that your little tête-à-tête is over, I have a final question. Blaine Anderson; do you accept who you are wholly and fully?"
"Yes."
"Do you feel shame about any part of you as a person both physically and emotionally?"
"No."
"Do you promise to love every person as an equal, and to show no discrimination upon any grounds?"
"Yes."
"And do you promise to encourage and teach all to reach the same stage of acceptance that you have achieved?"
"Yes." there was a small pause in which Wes stared at him, levelly, and then Sebastian fixed David with the same stared, repeating the same questions and getting the same response. There was another pause, and then a cheer went up. Sebastian flung his arm around Blaine, pulling him close to his chest, and Blaine let out a giddy smile. Wes half-strangling David as he hugged him, and Blaine could see their easy friendship returning once more. Sebastian let him go, eventually, and Blaine found that he missed the warmth that emanated from Sebastian's body. Maybe Luc was right after all, maybe Blaine should ask him out.
Oh god. I feel so stiff, and what is that banging sound. Oh no…I better not be where I think I am…ah crap! I fell asleep in the armchair, and I think that banging is coming from the kitchen. So, either everyone gets hungry in the right, or it's morning…and I'm sleeping the clothes I wore yesterday! This is…urgh!
Kurt got to his feet, trying to smooth the wrinkles from his clothes as Chris came pounding down the stairs. He looked Kurt over once, ran into the kitchen, and then back out backwards.
"Kurt! There you are!" Kurt blinked, rubbing a hand over his eyes, and feeling tired.
"What?"
"We were looking for you last night…you just kind of vanished." Kurt blinked again.
"What?"
"We figured that you must have left the grounds, eventually…you can't just do that. You need to sign out."
"Oh, right, thanks." he moved into the kitchen and nodded at Chris' offer of coffee. Several other boys were there, and the source of the banging seemed to be the toaster that was rattling around in an unnatural manner. "What the hell's up with that?"
"Huh?" said Chris, looking around and then spotting where Kurt's gaze was fixed. "Oh, Fred "improved" it." Kurt arched an eyebrow, and gulped down the coffee, barely wincing as it burnt his throat. "Oh, and how did you get it in? You don't have the code, and Juri and I stayed up till past ten." Kurt rolled his eyes.
"Thad let me in." Chris frowned for a split second before nodding.
"Well aren't you the lucky one, any other day and you'd be sleeping in the car." Kurt would not count himself as lucky, after everything that happened, but shrugged.
"Can you tell me the code to Franklin."
"What? Oh yeah, 2-4-6-0-1." Kurt nodded, and then raised an eyebrow.
"Seriously?" Chris nodded, making to move out of the kitchen.
"Sebastian's sense of humour for you." was all he said in reply as he dashed out, and then in again.
"Mrs Daniels wants to see you, by the way, about leaving without signing out." Kurt groaned, and Chris gave him a sympathetic smile before dashing off.
Just what I need, a visit to my new least favourite teacher, and I'm going to be yelled at for sure. In some ways I wish I'd been sent to Hammonds, at least he's nice. Either way, how was I meant to know when they'd lock the gates, no one mentioned it to me, same with the signing out deal.
"Blaine!" Blaine groaned, clamping his hands over his ears as his head throbbed and protested at the loud sound. "Blaine for fuck's sake; get up!" he groaned, prising his eyes opened and recoiling at the bright light. Liam was standing over him, a disapproving look on his face and bruise festering above his left eyebrow.
"Liam?" he sat up, and saw Sebastian, David, and Wes all doing the same thing, similar pained, confused and tired, expressions on their faces. "What happened?" he asked, noting the slightly destroyed look to the interior of the tree house.
"You trashed the tree house, that's what. Now get up, Hammonds is really pissed off with all of you." Liam was clearly busy cleaning up the mess they'd made, and Blaine rubbed a hand over his face and nearly lost his balance as he tried to stand.
"Shut up, Liam." grumbled Sebastian. "Save the talking for when you're Javert." Liam shot him an annoyed look, and folded his arms across his chest.
"You were meant to be in Hammonds' office ten minutes ago. He's in a bad mood- suspension bad." that shocked the four boys right out of their hung over state.
"Fuck!" exclaimed Wes, leaping to his feet, and heading for the exit.
"Thank you!" exclaimed Liam as they descended and ran across the grounds.
I'm beginning to think Mrs Daniels missed the part about me being new…She's been ranting at me for the past half hour about my behaviour since I got here. Professor Lloyd is here, but she seems mildly sympathetic. Apparently Sebastian is meant to be here too, accept he's been called to see Hammonds. It sounded serious…I wonder what he's done.
"…and I do know that you're new, but both Sebastian and Blaine are under an immense amount of pressure at the moment. They can't be expected to tell you everything, and there are certain things you should ask; curfew being one of them. If Thad hadn't have come along you'd be stuck out there, still." Kurt rubbed his hand over his right eye, and tried hard not to yawn.
"Look, Mrs Daniels, I think we can accept that there was fault on both parties, and that Kurt should be let off. It's been stressful for him too, moving schools. I say we call it a first time error, and move on."
"…this is completely unacceptable! I am incredibly disappointed in all of you! Sebastian you're Head Boy. David, Wes, you're on Warbler Council, and Blaine…you're one of our most talented students. What on earth possessed you to loose your heads like that?" No one answered. They had not realised that they'd been blaring music across the grounds or shouting and screaming at the tops of their voices.
"We're very sorry, sir."
"It won't happen again."
"I'm afraid that's not good enough. I am placing you under House Arrest for the rest of the term." their mouths hung open. "You will not leave Dalton grounds for anything."
"But, sir, Sectionals."
"Accept for Academic or school based activities. You will not leave your house for anything other than lessons, or a list cleared activities. You will eat only lunch in the cafeteria. Do you understand me?" there were grudging nods. "You should be a little more grateful that's all I've done; I could have suspended you." there was a moment of silent horror. "Now get out of my office.
"It's not just that. I am Deputy Head, when students are called to my office I expect a level of decorum and attire. Mr Hummel has not reached either. His clothing is appalling - he must remember that these are not his clothes, and that they have been leant to him - and he has remained slouched in a most unappealing manner."
"Yes, but I think it's more important that, right now, Kurt goes to lessons. Come along." Kurt got up and followed his head of house.
Wow, I think she wanted to put me in detention, and it turns out Professor Lloyd isn't so bad after all…though I wonder how much she'll want to stand up for me after our next English lesson. This has been one hell of an introduction to a new school. What's more, I'm completely exhausted, I've not looked over any of the catch up notes…and I now have to face a whole day of lessons…
Next Time- Open Up: Kurt continues to struggle with the school work, but he finds himself drawing closer to the other boys who are beginning to stress over their upcoming series of performances, until a conversation with Luc leads Kurt to a heated confrontation with Blaine…