A/N: Sorry my chapters aren't particularly long... They're only about 800 words or so... Sighs. I'll try to make them around 2k or 3k words long, but it may take a bit longer than normal. I'm also working on a new project, you may have read on my bio, "A Grave Twist of Fate" which is my number 1 OTP. So... The newest chapter for Rivalries is going to be a little bit slower. Sorry! Anyway, here's the new chapter! I finished it last night... God that took a lot out of me.

Jarvan IV strolled into Malzahar's home, looking around at the neat furniture. Everything was so Violet. He grunted something under his breath, and planted a Demacian flag right in the middle.

Suddenly, a black shadow lunged at Jarvan. He yelled, and forgot he didn't have his sword, so tried to protect himself with his hands.

"Beatrice?" A raspy old voice came uncertainly in, "What do you mean, Demacian?" Jarvan stiffened in horror.

"SWAIN?!" Jarvan gasped.

"Demacian," Swain spat, hobbling in with his crane. Beatrice flapped over to her master and landed on his shoulder.

"Apparently you are here?" Jarvan hissed, "As my partner?"

"I do not like it as much as you do not like it," the Noxian General growled.

"I do not like it more than you!" Jarvan argued, "I have more authority over you!"

"Anything you can do I can do better! Hah!" Swain smirked.

"I can do anything better than you!" Jarvan retorted.

"No you can't."

"Yes I can."

"No you CANT."

"YES I CAN!"

"Anything you can do I can do greater," Swain sang, hobbling around and jabbing Jarvan with his cane, "Sooner or later I'm greater than you!

"No you're not," Jarvan sang back, slamming his Demacian flag on the floor.

"Yes I am."

"No you're not."

"YES I AM!"

The two enemies glared at each other. "I can shoot a partridge with a single cartridge," boasted Swain.

"I could shoot a sparrow, with a bow and arrow."

"I could live on ice and biscuits!"

"And only on that?"

"Yup."

"So could a corpse."

"Any note you can hold I can hold longer!" Swain shrieked.

"I can hold any note-" Jarvan began, but a disgusting odor made his double over and retch on the floor. Even Swain couldn't help but throw up. Beatrice made a noise like a camel in distress.

"The people before us did nothing to clean up the poop!" Jarvan cried, seeing the litter room filled up with voidling poop.

"Whomever picks up the most voidling poop is the greater general!" Swain challenged. The two glared at each other, and then shot off.

Jarvan IV was determined to beat Swain, scooping up poop and piling them in black garbage bags. Voidlings had crowded around to watch them work, all of them piled up in the doorway.

An hour later, Jarvan and Swain started counting the poops the collected and came to an estimate of both of them having around 2,329 pieces of poop each. The two glared at each other.

"So we tied that one," the two said at the same time, "So I challenge you to how many Voidlings you can round up to take baths!"

So, they ran off again, tackling Voidlings and taking arm-loads to the baths area. Most Voidlings struggled in vain, but couldn't get out of the two mens' strong grips.

And soon, bubbles arose front the tubs filled with voidlings, and the loud noises of the blow driers as Jarvan and Swain scrubbed and scrubbed the voidlings clean of filth.

At the end of all the scrubbing, till a dozen soap gallons were used up. The two enemies lined up all the clean voidlings they cleaned, and compared again.

"THE SAME? AGAIN?" Swain and Jarvan roared at the same time, "This calls for another challenge!"

"I challenge you to see who can feed the most voidlings!" Jarvan said, planting down another Demacian flag.

"I accept the challenge!" Swain screeched back, knocking over the flag

And so, that caused an army of Demacian voidlings and a platoon of Noxian voidlings began to rush outside, devouring all of the plants in their wake. Even the insane people knew to get out of the way, since the hungry voidlings ate and ate and ate.

Once they were full, Jarvan planted a large Demacian flag right in the middle of his army. "Jarvan's soldiers!" He commanded, "To me!" Surprisingly, the voidlings followed, and sat down, too full to argue. Then, he continued to count how many full voidlings there were.

Swain was doing the same to his voidlings. "Noxian soldiers, we shall show what we are made of!" He rasped, and counted the voidlings as well.

"235!" The two yelled together, "Hah! Beat that...?"

They glared at each other, fire flaring in their eyes. "I... Challenge you to see who can make the most voidling nests!" Jarvan roared, and the two tromped into Malzahar's home once more.

Jarvan cracked open the door to Malzahar's library and shuffled through the books. He had no idea how to make voidling nests, admittedly, and to the sight of Swain also looking through books and voidlings, didn't know either.

'I'll find the book before him!' Jarvan thought, and glanced around, spotting Swain reading a book titled, "Voidling Care 101" by Malzahar himself. Jarvan fumed with anger. He ran right into Malzahar's private library and found the treasure he was looking for.

"Heheheheheh," Jarvan smirked, opening "Secret of Voidlingsitting" by Malzahar, and flipping around in the pages. 'Aha!' he thought, 'Here is the book I have been looking for!'

After reading the whole chapter of voidling nests, he set off to get the materials. Unfortunately, Swain was already there. 'Heh, he doesn't know the best voidling nest material!' Jarvan thought, cackling, and secretly bought five pounds of special hay and bones.

When he returned, he sought the book for help on building the nest. A few voidlings had come over to oversee this.

When the sun began to set, which hinted close to the end of their shift, Jarvan finished his 470 nests for the voidlings. He stood up and stretched his aching muscles.

"So, Swain?" Jarvan grinned, poking his head into Swain's workplace, "How many-" He abruptly saw the stacks Swain had done.

"469, 470!" Swain smirked, "How about that, Jarvan? Special hay and bones from Kassadin's Void Supermarket."

"B-but that's the hay and bones I got!" Jarvan hissed, pointing to the bag.

"Five pounds is all I bought," Swain insisted, "Why? You certainly can't have bought the same."

"I DID!" Jarvan groaned, "How come we got the same?"

"How would I know?" Swain stood up, "Did you follow me?"

"Did not."

"Did so!"

"DID NOT!"

"DID SO!"

"JUST KISS AND MAKE UP ALREADY!" a voice sounding just like Diana screamed somewhere in the rooftops.

"WHAT?! NO!" Jarvan and Swain yelled at the same exact time.

"Whomever catches Diana first is the true general!" Swain announced.

"I will catch her!" Jarvan insisted.

Soon, the sun had finally set, and a panting Jarvan and Swain leaned over the hunched body of Diana. Leona watched from a corner, scared.

"How come we tie in all of our games?" Jarvan muttered.

"Well, how should I know?" Swain replied with much sass, breathless.

"I think we should just call it a tie," Jarvan said with much dignity, "You are like me." He held out his hand for Swain to shake.

Swain eyed the hand warily. "Alright," a small smile played on the Noxian's lips, and shook hands with Jarvan.

"Now kiss!" Diana exclaimed, her right eye blackened and her nose bleeding.

"NO WAY!"

Okay I just had to add that random Diana.

Clarification Things

-Added a small passage from "Anything You Can Do I Can Do Better" song from a musical, I added the "biscuits and ice" part, referring to Poros.

-There are at least 470 voidlings in the home

-Diana and Leona have been spying on Jarvan and Swain ever since they came into the home

-Diana's patience cracked, so she yelled out.

And thats it, I think! Feel free to leave a review to tell me anything I missed, or if you want to have another pairing! Thanks!

Signing out till next time,

Moondance55