Chapter 18: Heartbeat

"Pete," Harry rounded the corner of the lab quick enough to cause his Nikes to squeal against the freshly waxed floor - a sound that pierced the thick silence of the lab and caused every scientist within earshot to jump in surprise, "My maaaaaan!"

Peter glanced up from the arrangement of beakers in front of him, each one filled with a thick green liquid. Harry ran to him, throwing his arms around him and nearly knocking him off the stool he sat upon. Peter sheepishly shrugged him off as he tried, in vain, to keep a smile from creeping upon his face.

"PDA, man, what'd I tell you about that?" Peter couldn't help but laugh at his friend's antics.

"Right, right," Harry grinned, taking a seat upon the stool next to him. The laboratory fell back into its usual hushed silence. "Dude," Harry whispered as he observed the scientists around him, heads bowed over their desks, busily scribbling their findings onto paper, "How do you stand this place?"

Peter shrugged, returning his attention to the beakers of emerald liquid.

Sensing Peter's attention being sucked back into the world of science, Harry strummed his fingertips against the glass tabletop. Peter leaned in closer to the beakers, taking note of the slightest of variations in color and viscosity, ignoring the incessant tapping. Harry cleared his throat. When Peter didn't respond, he tried again.

"Yes?" Peter kept his gaze fixed upon the beakers.

"I'm in love, Pete!"

A sudden knot formed in Peter's throat. He swallowed hard, trying to clear it.

"Oh yeah?" He tried to sound nonchalant and although his tone sounded normal enough to Harry, Peter could hear the deep notes of despair straining his words. "Last time you said you were in love, you were referring to the Cheesy Gordita Crunch you ordered from Taco Bell at 4 in the morning."

Harry laughed, "Yeah, that was pretty good but this... this is even better!" He paused for a moment, beaming as he recalled his night with Mary Jane, only two nights prior. "Mary Jane is -" Again he paused, at a loss for words. After a moment of careful deliberation, he found the words to describe her: "Incredible! She's incredible. There's no other word for her, Pete. I'm in love with her."

Peter glanced over at his friend as he spilled his heart out to him. His grin had faded into the vacant smile only a love-crazed fool could possess. Even his eyes were being affected by his illness.

"Harry, the L-word is a pretty serious word to be throwing around so soon." Peter quickly recalled the long line of women his friend had run through - a lineup that included celebrities and even the occasional stripper. Never had Harry proclaimed his love for them... a realization that further worried Peter.

"Yeah, but when you meet a girl like her... you can't waste any time." He clapped his friend across his back, "Has she said anything about me?"

Again, Peter shrugged. "Why would she say anything about that to me?"

"Well," Harry's smile broadened back into his familiar grin, the dimples in either cheek deepening, "You and Gwen are an item now, right? I thought maybe you would've heard something through the grapevine."

"We aren't an item." I rolled my eyes at Gwen's preposterous words. "And I'm sure Peter is practically in love with you by now."

It was Gwen's turn to roll her eyes at me. "I don't want him to be in love, yet. I just want to know how he feels about me. He's so... secretive."

Despite the cold and snow, Gwen and I were braving the bad weather for a jog through Central Park. Fear still coiled in the pit of my stomach, making me feel nauseous every so often, but I was resolved to not let my father ruin my life again and so, I ignored it and continued on with living.

"I figured since you and Harry -"

"Like I said, Gwen, we aren't an item." I stopped running and leaned my back against the frozen trunk of an oak. "Geeze," I panted, trying to regain my breath. "When did I get so out of shape?"

Gwen jogged in place, ignoring my pitiful attempt at derailing the conversation about Harry and Peter. "Whatever you guys are, maybe you could try to just, you know...ask him if Peter's said anything."

"We were a onetime thing." I stood upright from leaning against the tree, "A drunken mistake and it's never happening again."

Gwen furrowed her brows and the two of us began to walk down the snow-laden path winding through the middle of the park. "You're gorgeous, MJ. I don't think you even notice half the guys that stare at you when you walk into a room but I see it." A claim I quickly refuted under my breath before she continued, "You're beautiful and funny and kind... you've got nothing holding you back from being with someone. We've been best friends since the seventh grade and I've never seen you in love with anyone. I've never even seen you date someone. You're a committment-phobe, from what I can tell." Playfully, she jabbed my side with her elbow, "Do you really want to end up as the Crazy Cat Lady?"

"You sound like my Aunt Anna." We came upon a small stone bridge crossing over an even smaller stream, chunks of ice marring its glassy surface. We paused, peering over the side of the bridge at the stream as it gurgled past us. "I had a crush once... but that's the closest I ever got to love." I glanced over at Gwen's surprised face, laughing at her comical expression.

"You never told me about a crush!"

"Because it was stupid." I looked back down at the stream below us, "I hardly even know him... or what he looks like."

"Huh? You don't even know what he looks like? Who is this mystery guy?"

"I know what's he's called but I don't know his name." I laughed as I realized how stupid all of this sounded out loud. "Forget it."

Gwen persisted, her curiosity peeked, "No way, Jose! You aren't getting off that easy. Tell me who he is!"

I turned away from the stream and leaned against the stone railing, peering up at the sky in an attempt to stall before my confession. Gwen said nothing. It was obvious she had all of the time in the world to wait for this...

"...Spider-Man." I grimaced at my own confession then peeked over at her to see her reaction.

Solemnly she nodded as though she were contemplating a complicated astrophysics theory or anything more weighty than my insignificant confession. After a moment of serious deliberation she replied, "It's the spandex, isn't it?"

I burst into a fit of laughter and she soon joined in. For a long time, we remained on that bridge, laughing like madmen. It was moments like this that reminded me why Gwen was my best friend and why I loved her so dearly - she had an innate ability to make anyone around her happy, even in the worst of times. It was an ability so simple and yet, so rare. She was the light of my life just as she was the light of all the lives who knew her.

...as I reread this chapter in my life, I wish with every fiber of my being that Gwen and I had stayed on that bridge, laughing together for all eternity. I wish I could go back to that moment and knowing what I know now, warn her of the sharp turn our lives were about to make.

...if I could trade everything I have to save her, I would do it in a heartbeat...