Well, this is it, the last chapter - almost. I do plan to post a short epilogue to this story soon. Thanks once again to everyone who's been reading and reviewing. I am so sorry I haven't had a chance to respond personally to each of you, but please be assured that your encouragement has been much, much appreciated over these months. Finally, I would be remiss not to thank Shiny Jewel, once again, for her careful eye, great advice and boundless enthusiasm - Karen

Chapter Twenty-Three

Mothers and Daughters

Rayna awoke an hour later with a terrible feeling: Something was missing.

What?

She realized a moment later that it was Maddie. For the first time ever, she didn't know where her baby was.

The alarming sensation in the pit of her stomach was something like the way she used to feel when she couldn't find Deacon, in his binge-drinking days. Except that this was much, much worse. This was like waking up to find herself missing a limb. Strange, but then again, it made perfect sense: Maddie actually had been part of her physical body until very recently.

Rayna rolled over and pushed herself gingerly off of the bed, still sore from giving birth. She reached for the pitcher of ice water she kept on her nightstand and drained a full glass. She had never been so parched in her life, an odd reaction that she linked to breastfeeding, though no one had ever bothered to tell her that it would happen. A lot of things having to do with the physical aftermath of birth seemed to creep up on her like this, and it was disconcerting. She drank another glass of water and went to find her baby.

Fortunately, she didn't have to go far. She peeked in the nursery and found Deacon there, flopped halfway-on and halfway-off of the bed. He was lying on his back, Maddie still wrapped tightly in the BabyBjorn carrier on his chest. Both of them were sound asleep.

Rayna smiled, a catch in her throat as she watched the two of them. More than once in the last few days, she'd grown emotional thinking about how close all this had come to not happening, for so many different reasons.

If she hadn't risked everything on him ...

If he hadn't had the courage to face his past ...

And yet there they were, father and daughter, so very beautiful together. She took a step into the room and Deacon opened his eyes, immediately bringing an index finger to his lips.

"Shhhh ... took me nearly 45 minutes to get her to sleep," he whispered, then scooted over carefully on the bed and patted the empty space next to him. "She sure can be stubborn."

"Hmmm ... wonder where she gets that from?" Rayna whispered back with a smile.

She slipped quietly onto the mattress next to him, tucking her body snugly up against his and slipping her hand onto the baby's back. "Are we making this a regular thing, the three of us in this little bed?" she asked, looking up at him. Both of them smiled, recalling the morning he had proposed here. "At least my stomach's not in the way this time." It was true: Despite her constant worry about lingering baby weight, Rayna was rapidly recovering her pre-pregnancy figure.

"How'd you finally do it? Get her to go to sleep, I mean."

"Oh, man," he sighed. "I walked just about clear 'round the lake singin' to her. Johnny Cash, mostly, and some Hank. 'A Life That's Good,' lots of our early stuff, too. I was runnin' out of material by the time she finally nodded off, I swear."

Rayna laughed softly. "Well, whatever you did, it worked. And I got a good long nap, so thank you. I really needed it."

"I know you did, darlin'." He tightened his arm around her back and kissed the top of her head, his right arm wrapped around Maddie's small slumbering form.

Rayna sighed and peered down at the baby's face. "She really is an angel, isn't she?"

"When she's sleepin', she is. Just like her mama."

Rayna smiled back and started to swat him, but stopped herself, not wanting to risk waking the baby. This was the longest, calmest conversation they'd had since they brought her home. She didn't want it to end just yet.

"Hey, I got a hold of my mother while we were walkin'. She's gonna try to get a plane tomorrow afternoon. She said not to worry about her job, she'd figure somethin' out. It sounded like Rick's gonna help her; I think the two of them are gettin' pretty close. She said she didn't wanna intrude, but if we needed her-"

"Yes! We need her. I need her. I feel like I need all the help I can get," Rayna said. "Sometimes I wonder, babe ..." Her voice trailed off and Deacon could tell that she was getting weepy again.

"Now, sweetie, don't go gettin' yourself all worked up."

"It's just - I don't know if I can do this, Deacon!"

"Do what?"

"This - be a mother. I mean, I don't know what in the world I'm doing. How can they let someone like me just take a baby home?"

"They? Who's they, Ray?"

"I don't know, babe. I just - I've read the books, but I'm still not sure what I'm supposed to be doing half the time."

"I don't think anybody does with the first one, Ray. Let's give ourselves some time to get used to everything; get used to her."

"I don't know if that's ever going to happen, Deacon. And you know what I was thinking? Neither one of us had good role models growing up. I'm not even sure what a happy, loving family is supposed to look like. Besides, what kind of a life are we going to be able to give her? We work late, we're out on the road all the time - what kind of family are we going to be, babe?"

Deacon thought for a moment. "We'll be the best family we know how to be, Ray. And we'll love her every minute of every day. I don't know what else we can do."

Rayna sighed, clearly still fretting.

He tried again. "Look darlin' - you an' me? We're gonna figure this out together, just like we always done with everythin' we tried, startin' way back when. No one gave you a shot in hell when Watty first started gettin' you gigs, remember? An' I was just another two-bit picker outta the middle of nowhere. Then the two of us teamed up, and everthin' changed."

"I know, Deacon, but music - that's easy compared to this. This is the hardest thing I've ever done!"

Deacon rubbed her back and kissed her forehead. "I know it's hard, darlin', but you're doin' great. You're gonna be the best mother in the world. I don't doubt that for a minute."

Linnie Mae came in on the afternoon flight from Baton Rouge the next afternoon, bringing a calm, efficient order to the lake house that was like a gift from heaven. And from the moment she took her granddaughter into her arms, the two of them seemed to understand each other perfectly.

"Well hello, precious girl," she smiled down at the baby, who had been fussing all morning. "My name is Madeline, just like yours." She beamed up at Rayna. "I told Deke to tell you how pleased I was when I heard, darlin'. I can't think of anythin' that would make me prouder than her carryin' my name."

Rayna smiled back and put her arm around her mother-in-law. "Well, it's a beautiful name. And I'm just glad we finally agreed on one. It took us a while," Rayna said, looking over at Deacon, who shook his head and laughed. Then she looked back at the baby, who was squirming and red-faced in Linnie Mae's arms. "I don't know why she's cranky this morning. I just got through feeding her, so I know she's not hungry, but ..."

Linnie studied the newborn for a moment, then looked over at Deacon. "Darlin', will you carry my suitcase into my room for me, please?" she asked. Deacon nodded and took her small bag back to the nursery. Linnie Mae had insisted she would sleep in the baby's room, rather than in the guest room upstairs, so she could help with the late night feedings. She followed him down the hall, Rayna trailing behind.

Once they were in the baby's room, she asked Deacon to open her suitcase and take out a thin, pink-and-white-striped receiving blanket that was folded neatly on top of her clothes. "Let's see here just a moment," she murmured, handing Maddie to Rayna, then spreading the blanket out carefully on the bed. "Lay her down right here, darlin'," she instructed Rayna. Once Maddie was settled, Linnie Mae wound the blanket around her little body in an intricate pattern that ended with the tail end tucked securely into a fold near the top.

She lifted the small pink bundle, which resembled a burrito, or a papoose, and kissed both the baby's cheeks and her forehead. "How do you like that, little one?" she asked, adding: "I think you're about ready for your nap now." She put Maddie into her cradle and commenced rocking it back-and-forth gently with one foot.

Rayna and Deacon exchanged glances and cringed as Maddie began her familiar protest at being set down on her own. But Linnie Mae didn't seem to hear. She simply turned and began unpacking her suitcase, keeping the cradle in motion while she hummed a haunting tune in a minor key.

"Bye, baby bunting, your daddy's gone a-hunting. He's gone to fetch a rabbit skin, to wrap my baby bunting in. Bye baby bunting..."

The lullaby went on like that, repeating over and over, until the entire room seemed mesmerized - including Maddie, who hushed almost immediately. Her eyelids fluttered shut within a few moments. Rayna and Deacon just stared at each other, astonished.

"Oh my gosh! How'd you do that? We've all been trying and trying to get her to sleep on her own. She wouldn't do that for any of us!" Rayna whispered.

Linnie didn't whisper, though her speaking voice was quiet, as always. "I think it's swaddlin' 'em up like that, makes 'em sleep pretty easy. Always worked with Scarlett, too. Makes 'em feel secure, I guess, kinda like they're back in their mama's tummy." Linnie smiled over at Deacon as she slid her now-empty suitcase under the twin bed. "That one over there always liked it, too. He was a real cuddler. This little girl must be an awful lot like her daddy."

Rayna nodded, still amazed. "She sure is. You're going to have to teach us how you did that. The swaddling thing, I mean."

"Of course, darlin'," Linnie smiled, pulling a starched white apron out of the pile of clothes she'd stacked neatly on the bed and slipping it over her head. "All right, then. Let's see what needs doin' around here."

From that moment, like a real-life Mary Poppins, Linnie Mae seemed to work some kind of magic over the house. It was always clean and neat, the baby always smelled sweet and the emotions that had been so far out on the edge gradually softened.

Part of it, Rayna realized, was the familiar comfort of the routine Linnie Mae put in place without anyone really realizing it. She stayed up to help Rayna with the late feedings, and got up early to make coffee and breakfast for Deacon, who had already started taking the morning shift with Maddie so Rayna could sleep in. She organized the baby's day into a series of naps and feedings, with a few minutes of awake time in between, that seemed to settle her down considerably.

Yet she did it all with such grace, and so seamlessly, that at times Rayna nearly forgot she was there. Surely she was, though, because the laundry always got done, the meals were simple but delicious and - best of all - there was always a fresh pot of coffee and a slice of homemade cake or a plate of cookies on hand for the parade of visitors who began stopping in.

Dave and Kim were the first to arrive, carrying the softest teddy bear Rayna had ever held. "Thank you so much! She's going to love this, I know it," Rayna said, hugging both of them.

"We wanted her favorite toy to come from her favorite uncles," Kim explained, as the two men admired Maddie and took turns holding her. When Rayna went to refill the coffee - Linnie Mae always slipped unnoticed into the nursery when company arrived - Dave followed her into the kitchen. He put an arm around her and smiled down at her.

"I'm so incredibly happy for you, Rayna."

"Thanks," she smiled back, hugging him. "Me, too."

He shook his head. "When I think about when we first met, how scared you were, and how-" he stopped, shaking his head. "I don't even know how to describe it."

"I was kind of lost, wasn't I?"

"Lost - yeah. I think that's a good word for it," he nodded.

"God, I know. It's scary now, even thinking about that time, knowing what I could have done differently. What he could have done differently. How wrong all of this could have turned out." Rayna looked fondly over at Deacon, who was holding Maddie and talking to Kim, every inch the proud daddy. "I don't think I ever even dreamed that our life could be this good."

Jill came by that week also, accompanied by Nancy and a few of Rayna's other Al-Anon friends, all of whom exclaimed over how adorable the baby was and fought over the chance to hold her. Deacon's sponsor, Gus, and his wife, Wanda, spent an afternoon at the house while Linnie Mae took Rayna's car and went grocery shopping. They insisted that Rayna and Deacon get out, too - even if it was just for a quick cup of coffee at the diner in town.

"Go on, you two, there's nothin' worse than cabin fever when ya got a new baby in the house," Wanda said, handing the two of them their jackets and pushing them out the door. "Even if it's just for half an hour, take a little time for yourselves. She's gonna be just fine. Gus and me, we know exactly what we're doin' when it comes to babies."

The pair of them managed to last all of 40 minutes, checking their phones constantly, before they were back at the house, anxiously peering into the nursery and checking covertly, just to make sure Maddie was breathing. But it was nice, they admitted, to get even a few moments to themselves.

Bucky and Tandy were in and out of the house all week, each time bringing flower arrangements from their offices - and more cards and well-wishes. They were followed by Rayna's bandmates, more than a few of Rayna's and Deacon's fellow musicians and a contingent of Edgehill top brass. Lamar Wyatt even found his way to the lake house, something he'd never done in all the time Rayna had lived there, and managed to be charmed by Linnie Mae, and to charm her back. Even better, he was thrilled with the baby, and civil to Deacon during an entire, hour-long visit. Paw-Paw might have a future with this family yet, Rayna realized.

The only visitor who got a less-than-warm welcome was Watty White, who seemed confused by Rayna's frosty attitude toward him. Deacon shot her a stern look, then took Watty back to the music room to play him a couple of new songs he was working on. Rayna excused herself, explaining that the baby needed to be fed.

She knew she had behaved badly and that Deacon would call her out on it later, but the idea that Watty had lied to her father, and to her, all those years - whether he loved Virginia Wyatt or not - still dismayed her. Rayna wasn't ready to talk to him about it, though she knew that Deacon hoped the two of them could be honest with each other someday.

Maybe. But for now, it was all too much to even think about.

She sighed and walked back to the nursery, where she found Linnie folding baby clothes and rocking Maddie in the cradle. The baby was awake, bright-eyed, quietly watching her grandmother's every movement.

"You're a wonder!" Rayna remarked. "I don't know how you do it - keeping her happy like that for such a long time."

Linnie laughed, a soft, tinkling sound. "Well, I guess I don't know, either. 'Cept that I had a lot of practice with Beverly and Deacon. And Scarlett, after them. And you know, even as a child, I was always babysittin' for some cousin or other. Seemed like there was always a baby in this cradle, over the years."

"Well, this one should be ready to eat just about now," Rayna said. "At least, I'm ready to feed her. And if she doesn't eat soon I'll probably burst."

Linnie gave her daughter-in-law a sympathetic look. For something that was absolutely natural, nursing was not necessarily intuitive or easy the first time around.

Rayna sat in the rocker, unfastening her blouse and nursing bra. Linnie Mae reached down and scooped Maddie up, handing her to Rayna. The baby latched on quickly and began to nurse. "Well, see there?" Linnie said. "Our little girl was hungry. She was just too polite to holler for it."

The two of them sat there, in a companionable silence, while Maddie nursed and Linnie Mae finished folding onesies and little dresses and cloth diapers. When the baby was done with one side, Rayna lifted her up to burp her, but nothing happened.

"I never can seem to get a burp out of her," Rayna said.

Linnie smiled. "Would you like me to try, darlin'?"

"Sure."

"Let's see, put her way up high on your shoulder, like this," Linnie demonstrated, pressing Maddie's tummy against her shoulder blade then drawing a hand up her back firmly. "That kind of pushes the air up, so she doesn't have a bubble in her tummy." Linnie gave the baby a couple of firm pats and a moment later, Maddie let out a large belch, drawing laughter from mother and grandmother.

Rayna lowered the other side of her nursing bra and reached for the baby, ready to finish nursing. "You're so good at all this," she sighed. "It seems like you always know exactly what to do; exactly what she wants. You must've been such a wonderful mother, when Beverly and Deacon were little."

Linnie gasped slightly at this, bringing a hand to her mouth. Then she flushed beet red and turned away, putting the onesies and little outfits into Maddie's dresser drawers.

Rayna realized her mistake. "I - I'm sorry-" she began.

But Linnie looked back at her, her eyes brimming with tears. "No, darlin', don't be sorry. It's just - I wasn't, you know. I mean, I wasn't any kind of a mother to my children, let alone a good one." She wiped her face, quickly, and turned away from Rayna again.

"Oh, Linnie, surely that's not true-"

"But you see, darlin', it is true. You don't understand: I didn't protect my babies, and that's a mother's first job. Her most important job. And I didn't do that. I let my children down. So I s'pose I can hardly be called a mother at all."

Rayna swallowed hard, not sure what to say. She knew that Deacon and Linnie Mae had been talking about the past. She'd heard them speaking together quietly when she'd woken up a couple of mornings, but she hadn't wanted to intrude. It was appalling, to think about what Deacon had been through as a child. And yet, getting to know Linnie Mae better, Rayna thought she could understand, at least a little.

Now, she took a deep breath. "You made a mistake, Linnie. People - some people - think I'm making a mistake, too. Even my letting Deacon be around Maddie, with his history, let alone marrying him. A lot of people have told me I'm crazy, doing it."

But Linnie shook her head, more vehemently than Rayna had ever seen, and met Rayna's gaze square on. "Oh no, daughter, don't even think that. Our Deke, he's nothin' like his daddy. They share the same weakness, that's true. But my husband never even tried to get well, not really. Nothin' like what Deke's done, turnin' his life around. And my son, well, he's got a good heart. Always did. I don't think I've ever seen a man so in love with his child."

Rayna looked at her mother-in-law. These were the longest, most passionate sentences she had uttered since she'd arrived. But one word rang in Rayna's ears: Daughter. She hadn't been anyone's daughter in many, many years. She reached her hand out and Linnie put down Maddie's jumper and took it, smiling.

"He does love her, doesn't he?"

"Oh yes, he surely does. Just like he loves you."

"You know, Deacon's forgiven you - for what happened, back then. I know he has. And he loves you, too. Isn't it time you thought about forgiving yourself?"

It must have been nearly an hour later by the time Deacon finally set down his guitar in the music room and looked up. Watty had gone home, still looking hurt, and Deacon had continued playing. Thanks to "Rayna Jaymes: Locked and Loaded," he hadn't had to hunt for gigs yet. But he still needed to practice several hours a day, like any serious musician. Now, with the last sounds of his guitar strings fading away, he realized that the house was perfectly silent.

He walked down the hallway to Maddie's room, wondering what was going on.

Inside, all three Claybourne women - the three dearest souls in the world to him - were sound asleep: Linnie curled up on the bed beside the wicker laundry basket, Rayna sitting in the rocking chair, her head drooping forward, Maddie still at her breast.

He stood there a long while gazing at them, three generations of mothers and daughters.

Soon, Maddie would wake up needing to be changed and Linnie Mae would bustle around starting dinner. This house, where he had spent so many lonely months not so long ago, would fill up once again with voices and squabbles and laughter and tears - all the sounds of a family.

And Rayna, his Rayna, would be there at the center of it all - certain one moment and insecure the next - but growing into a wonderful mother with each passing minute, one day at a time.

At just this very minute, though, all of his girls were sleeping. Deacon looked at each of them, at their peaceful expressions, and profound gratitude overwhelmed him.

This was it - this was the good life he'd sung about, so long ago, with all its messiness and warmth and love. And it was a gift, from each of them to him. For none of them had rescued him, but each of them had made it possible for him to rescue himself.