Hey guys! I am so incredibly sorry for the long time in between updates. I try not to take ages, but sometimes RL just gets in the way. I began getting sick in September, was in a lot of pain and was put on a lot of medications. I know this is an excuse, but those medications made it pretty hard to write, even when I did feel up to it. In late December, I had surgery. I can happily say that I feel a lot better now. More like myself, and finally up to writing. Updates should be at least once a week if real life allows.

Thank you to Kyla713 and packy for looking over this. Mistakes are all mine. And thank you all for being so patient with me.

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Her next dose was much harder than the last. She barely made it out of the clinic before becoming sick. We were prepared and had a bin for her all the way home, but I still hated that she had to put up with the side effects. It seemed like she was dealing with enough as it was. Her doctor had assured us that she should have had minimal side effects, but it was different for everyone. The current dose was a much higher dose than the last.

The day after, Wednesday, my mom helped her into the shower, since she was too weak and wouldn't allow me to help. They were in there awhile, and I began to worry that something had happened. Charlie and my dad both gave me looks of sit down now, you're driving us crazy.

I bolted upright when heard a sob and I ran back towards the bathroom, knocking and asking if everything was alright. My mom opened the door; her expression was heartbreaking. She looked at me like if she could, she'd take away all the hurt my girl was facing.

"Bella, are you okay?" I asked and noticed that she was faced away from me, her shoulders rocking with each new sob. I looked at my mom, silently questioning her.

Bella turned around and held out a clump of her hair, and then pointed to the shower, where I saw more strands of her hair. I rushed to her and picked her up in my arms, kissing her face all over.

"Oh, love. We knew that the 'hardly any side effects' guarantee wasn't an ironclad promise. I had hoped you wouldn't have to deal, but seeing as it was a much higher, concentrated dose, I'm sadly not surprised. But...I'll tell you what.." I pulled her face toward mine, making her look at me. "I'll go bald with you. In fact, I'll have mom shave off my hair right now. And you can cut yours whenever you're ready. yeah?"

Bella sniffled and placed her head on my shoulder. "This isn't fair. None of this is fair. I feel like I'm losing all of me, can't I at least keep my hair?"

"You are not losing all of you. I know it feels like that, but you're not. You are still my Bella, still the silly, sweet girl I love. So what if you lose your hair, you're still Bella. You still have your beautiful smile, your fathomless eyes, your laugh that makes me want to laugh with you. I know you think that hair, especially long hair such as yours, is what defines you somewhat, but it doesn't. Not really. It's just a perk. Your hair will grow back, and when it does, it will be the mark of a new chapter for you and for us. It will show that you're getting better." I squeezed her to me, and kissed her neck. "Your hair will be so much more beautiful. And look at this way, your body just wanted to show you that it could give you better hair, " I told her, winking, hoping that she'd laugh at my somewhat silliness. But she didn't; she just stared off at the shower drain.

I wanted to somehow erase the last day, so that she didn't have deal with any of it. It seemed like her tiny frame was taking so much. I wanted to bear some of that for her. I wasn't sure what I could do, or even say to make her feel better. Life really sucked sometimes.

My mom then made her presence known by kneeling down to Bella, an extra towel in her hands. "You're a beautiful girl, Bella. And you'll still be just as beautiful after. Why don't we get you dressed, and settled? And, hmm, why don't you cut Edward's hair?"

My eyes grew wide in playful fear. "You won't nick my ear, will you?" I stood up and had her stand next to me. "You won't give me a god awful half mohawk or something, right?" I laughed, and shrugged. "Eh, I bet you'd do a way better job than my Dad would."

She finally giggled and flashed me a smile before I left the bathroom to let her get ready for the morning. I walked out and saw that Dad and Charlie were sorting breakfast; both of them looked at me when I entered the kitchen with worried glances on their faces.

"Seems we will need to do some wig shopping, or something." I said, my voice wavering a tiny bit.

Charlie exhaled loudly as he sat down and clutched his coffee and stared down at the table. My dad was another matter. My eyes shot to his form as he loudly proclaimed, "damn, it!" as he slammed down the frying pan, his head bowed down.

A short while later, Bella came in, her hair missing in patches, and I noticed a bit more missing than there was in the bathroom. Charlie went to hug her, and whispered something in her ear to which she nodded sadly.

Once Charlie sat back down, my dad pulled Bella into his arms and just held her, then kissed her forehead before asking, "Do you think I should get rid of the gray? Get a trim? We could be twins then," He jokingly told her, which only served to make her cry and grab on to him again. He guided her down to a chair and kissed her head before finishing breakfast. We were all silent as we listened to the mom going through the cupboards and dad cooking at the stove.

"My dear, is it tea or smoothie?"

Bella's head tilted up toward my mom and replied, "I think tea. But I'd really like one of those fried eggs Carlisle is making, and maybe some toast?"

We all turned our heads toward her in surprise. It would be the most she had eaten in a few days, and I hoped it wouldn't backfire on her.

"Of course, sweetheart. Anything else?" my dad asked as he began to dish her up.

"Maybe two eggs?" she asked, shyly looking at my dad, but he was beaming to see her wanting to eat.

"Coming right up."

Breakfast was a much better affair. It thrilled us to see her happy. She was slowly eating, but enjoying it, even going for a second cup of tea.

"So, haircuts on the agenda today?" Charlie asked, as his mustache twitched.

Bella looked teary again, but nodded down at her plate. "But Carlisle's up first!" She laughed as she looked at my dad. "He said he wanted to be twins, after all."

Mom went and got the scissors and electric clippers, placing them into Bella's hands as my father sat down in a chair in front of her. I watched as she slowly began to cut his hair away, and once she was finished, she hugged my dad and whispered a thank you. Charlie was up next, though he kept fidgeting, causing Bella to threaten him more than once. When it was my turn, she took her time, and I closed my eyes as her fingers ran through my hair and strands began to fall. When she shaved the last bit off and it fell on to my lap, she kissed the top of my head, whispering an "I love you.".

Just hearing that was worth cutting my hair. It was of no huge loss to me, but her saying she loved me, beat it all.

She then handed me the shears and electric trimmer and traded spots with me. She breathed in deep, her shoulders shaking with nervousness.

"Are you sure? We don't have to do this right now." I had to make sure. I didn't want to push her farther than she needed to be.

She nodded and squared her shoulders as I began to cut the long strands away. Each clump of hair that fell to the ground caused another sob to fall from her lips. She sat up straight when she heard the electric shears turn on, and I slowly began to shave the remaining hair away. Once I was done, I set the cutters down and kissed her head, pulling her up out of the seat and into my arms. I kissed her lips long and slow before she could do or say anything. I felt her cold tears hit my cheeks. Pulling away to look into her eyes, I told her I loved her and that she was absolutely beautiful. She shakily smiled and wiped away her tears.

She was quiet, too quiet. I didn't like it, but I could understand. Without a word, she walked away and out of the kitchen. I followed her into the bathroom. She stood there, staring at her reflection as even more silent tears fell from her eyes as she ran her fingers across her now bald head.

I came up behind her and wrapped my arms round her waist, as I looked at the both of us in the mirror. It was different, and a touch sad to see the change of no hair for both of us.

"You're still beautiful, Bella. Nothing will ever change that." I kissed her neck and held her even tighter to me. "You'll always be beautiful."

I was sure she didn't believe me, but I would tell her those same words every day until they stuck and imprinted on her brain.

We called her doctor a while later to keep him up to date on her side effects and appetite. He wanted to make sure to keep track and log any major changes. Once that was done, all we had to look forward to was Friday and the scan. I hoped that we'd get the results we needed, and that she'd only have to endure this awhile longer.

Bella went upstairs to nap while we all sat down in the living room, unsure of what to do with ourselves.

"Do you think she'd want a wig?" Charlie asked, pulling up an address of a shop on his phone.

My mom shook her head now. "She told me when she first noticed it falling out that she didn't want that. But I do have an idea." My mom got up and went to the closet by the door, and pulled out a bag, handing it off to me.

In the bag were numerous colored scarves. One was even the colors of Gryffindor, which I knew Bella would love. My mom had thought ahead.

"I think she'll like these, and will probably be more comfortable in them."

Bella continued to be quiet long after she woke from her nap, but she clung to me a bit more, and as I sat there with my arms around her, a feeling I couldn't describe settled in my heart. I somehow knew that it was going to be good news from here on out. That the absolute worse had to be over.

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So, how are you all?