Okay, this is really the end. I've said it over and over, but thanks to Shiny Jewel who beta'd this for me and provided wonderful encouragement all along the way. I should also credit Leah Kate (look her up), whose fantastic AU fics are the true ending to the Skater ("Lost") story as far as I'm concerned, and which inspired me to set out on this experiment. (Skaters will catch the tribute to her in this epilogue.) Finally, I'm hoping to write an original fic based (VERY) loosely on this story; if you'd like information on where to find that, please PM me and I'll keep you posted. Karen
Epilogue
June 2001
"I never much liked my birthday when I was a kid. My daddy, he'd use it as an excuse to get drunk. Not that he ever needed an excuse."
Deacon chuckled and shook his head as he looked out across the crowded room. "'Course, once I went out on my own, I started doin' things exactly the same as him. I used to get shit-faced just about every birthday; give everybody I loved a hard time..."
He looked toward the back of the room. Where were they? He checked his watch, wondering if the afternoon's thunderstorms had delayed the flight.
"These days, I guess I'm still not much for parties. Tell ya the truth, I'd rather stay home, celebrate my birthday with my family, maybe watch a movie. But this day - my sober day - well, that's kinda different. This day ain't all about me; it's about all of y'all - every one of you who supported me over these last 730 days. I couldn't have done it without you. So thanks."
The audience in the familiar church meeting hall broke into applause and Deacon grinned, applauding them back. He looked over the rows of chairs, picking out one smiling face after another: Gus, Jill, Dave, Kim, Coleman, Nancy, Janet - all gathered to celebrate the anniversary of his sobriety.
He could scarcely believe it had been two years since he'd blacked out for the last time and woken in a painful haze at the Riverside Center, facing the bleak reality of his fifth try in rehab. Back then, his cravings still raged out of control, and he had precious little hope they would ever be brought to heel. And yet, unbeknownst to him, that morning had been the first day of his new life: A life that was turning out to be very, very good.
He hadn't had a drink since, nor relied on pills to get through the day. He'd gotten married and become a father. Rayna had been honored a third time as female vocalist of the year and her album had gone platinum, affording the two of them nearly six months at home with their infant daughter and another six months on a sold-out, international tour with Maddie in tow.
A week before they'd left for London, they'd all driven down to Natchez, where dozens of Claybournes and Dillons, along with many, many friends, gathered for a church wedding uniting Linnie Mae and the man who had loved her quietly for years. Deacon had been especially pleased when Rick asked him to be the best man, and Rayna was thrilled that - like her son - Linnie had finally embraced happiness. There was a festive reception at Deacon's childhood home, featuring two traditions: The family singalong and Aunt Sallie's cooking. Linnie Mae made one of the most beautiful brides anyone had ever seen, though she was just as glad when her granddaughter took the spotlight, being passed from cousin to cousin all weekend.
Time had not stood still for anyone. Rayna's former neighbors, Dave and Kim, had recently started packing their apartment, since Dave had finally completed his training. He had joined the medical faculty at Doctors Without Borders, which had hired Kim for an administrative position, and the two of them were headed overseas. Rayna had been heartbroken at the thought of losing Dave, whom she considered one of her closest friends, but they had promised to keep in touch online, and holiday visits were already being planned.
Not everyone's life was as good as Deacon and Rayna's. Gus, Deacon's sponsor, had left the Riverside Center early one day the previous fall and walked in on Wanda, his wife, in their bed with an old boyfriend. The marriage did not survive, which sent Gus hurtling off the wagon after many years of sobriety. Deacon had left the tour in Australia and flown home, at Rayna's urging, to spend a week in Nashville when Gus got out of rehab. Now Gus was back on the program, but his example served as a stark reminder that no addict was ever permanently cured.
Over the months, Rayna and Deacon had been writing together, nabbing a half hour here and an hour there around Maddie's schedule and the demands of their busy careers. Despite their hectic lives, both of them were excited about the depth and quality of their new material. They'd just started trying out some of the songs around town, and already Bucky was itching to get them back into the studio. "You need a new album - maybe a duet album. And it looks like this is going to be a good year for you to stay put and do that," he'd said.
Tonight, surveying his AA brothers and sisters, Deacon pulled out a handwritten list of names - people he wanted to thank individually - and started reading down it, nodding at each person in turn. Then, a noise in the back of the room caught his attention. The double doors had opened and a half dozen people were trying to slip inside, hoping that no one would notice their late arrival.
He smiled broadly, watching them - newlyweds Rick and Linnie Mae Jones, Tandy, Watty, Bucky, and finally Rayna, juggling a diaper bag in one arm and Maddie in the other. They wouldn't have drawn any attention if it hadn't been for Maddie, who looked up instantly when she heard Deacon's voice on the microphone. A moment later, the 16-month-old kicked up a ruckus, thrashing and squealing in Rayna's arms as she fought to be put down.
For the most part, her protests were incomprehensible. But one word rang out loud and clear:
"Daddy!"
Maddie was a shy, quiet child who loved her mommy and her grammy and her paw-paw and her aunt Tandy. But there was no denying it: She was a daddy's girl through and through. And she adored Deacon.
His heart swelled and he laughed, stepping away from the podium as he witnessed her typical reaction to seeing him. "It's okay, Ray," he said, striding down the center aisle. Rayna set the toddler, who was dressed in a lilac-flowered print dress and purple leggings, down on the ground. As soon as her sneakers touched the floor, Maddie was racing toward Deacon, stubby brunette ponytails bouncing and her tiny legs wobbling as fast as she could make them go.
"C'mere, baby girl," he said, bending down to catch Maddie up in his arms.
"Daddy!"
He lifted her high and squeezed her tight, kissing her cheek as he walked back to the front of the room carrying her in his arms. "Sorry about that," he told the group. "I think most of y'all know my daughter, Maddie. It looks like she wants to say thanks, too."
There was delighted laughter as Maddie surveyed the crowd, her eyes wide, one hand thrown around Deacon's neck and the other resting in her mouth. "I'll sit down in just a sec, but I want to give a special thanks to my mother and my step-father, who flew in to be here with us this weekend. And to my sister-in-law Tandy, and our good friend, Watty White. I told 'em I didn't want a big party tonight, but I have a feelin' they got somethin' special cooked up."
Tandy, Watty and Rayna exchanged mysterious smiles at this remark, knowing that The Bluebird was even then being transformed for a private party.
Deacon cleared his throat, his eyes glistening. "The last thing I gotta say is that I wouldn't be here tonight - or anywhere, most likely - if it weren't for my wife, Rayna Jaymes. She's the most beautiful, talented woman I've ever met, an' why she ever gave me a second look way back when, I guess I'll never know. Anyway, she's not only the mother of my children; she's the woman who saved my life. And she's my best friend. Darlin', I can't thank you enough."
Rayna lifted both hands to her mouth and blew him a kiss from the back of the room, smiling broadly as she wiped away a stray tear. Deacon sent her a kiss back, and Maddie, watching curiously, followed suit, much to everyone's delight.
Jill stood up and walked to the podium.
"Thanks, Deacon," she said, beaming at him. "And Maddie. I have to say, I wasn't sure about you or Rayna when you showed up at Riverside two years ago. But you've surprised me - both of you." She looked to the back of the room, smiling mischievously at Rayna. "I'm confused about something, though. You called Rayna the mother of your children. From what I can see, you've only got one child."
Deacon laughed, shaking his head at her, and then he stepped back to the microphone. "Okay, you're not really gonna make me do this, are you?"
Jill laughed and shrugged, clearly in on the joke.
"Well, I guess I'm not supposed to say anythin' yet, an' Ray's probably gonna have my head 'cause we haven't put out the press release, but she an' I - well, we just found out we're expectin' our second."
In the back of the room, Rayna's eyes grew wide and then she blushed furiously, looking around as everyone in the room turned and craned their necks to stare at her. She shook her head and shot Deacon a what-the-hell-did-you-just-do? look, one that quickly turned into a wry smile.
"Okay, I think I done enough damage for one evenin'," Deacon said, dropping a kiss on Maddie's forehead and shifting her to his other arm. "This little lady an' I'll go sit down now. Thanks again, everybody."
Rayna set her hairbrush down and cinched the red plaid robe around her waist. Then she leaned in toward the bathroom mirror to remove her makeup. The party celebrating Deacon's two-year milestone had stretched late into the evening and she was grateful that Linnie Mae had volunteered to put Maddie down for the night. Deacon, dressed in navy sweat pants and a white T-shirt, came into the bathroom to brush his teeth.
"I didn't know you were going to make an announcement to a whole room full of strangers tonight, babe," Rayna remarked. "I'm going to have to ask Bucky to put out that press release first thing Monday."
"Well, the press release is ready, right? And they're not exactly strangers, Ray. They're the people we trust with our lives, week in an' week out. I figured they oughta be the first ones to hear our good news, too."
Deacon rinsed and spat, then moved over to stand behind her. "Are ya mad at me?" he asked, placing his hands over her lower belly. "You know, if last time's any clue, it's gonna be obvious pretty soon, anyway."
Rayna picked up a hand towel and swatted at him over her shoulder. "Hey, I'm only nine weeks along, babe. I hope I have a little while yet before I get sentenced to those maternity clothes."
"Well, you'll look gorgeous, darlin', no matter what you're wearin'. Or not wearin'." He raised his eyebrows suggestively and grinned at her in the mirror. "In fact, I kinda like you pregnant - and barefoot."
She picked up the towel again, preparing to hit him once more, but he caught her wrist deftly with one hand while the other slipped downward, his fingers finding their way between her legs. He leaned in to kiss her neck, softly.
"Mmmm...," she purred after a moment, turning her head to kiss him on the lips. They let the kiss linger between them as the heat grew. "Somebody's still in a celebrating mood tonight," Rayna murmured when they finally broke the kiss and their eyes met again in the mirror.
"I'd say that makes two of us."
Just then, there was a tentative knock on their bedroom door, which was standing slightly ajar. Deacon jumped backward, the vaguely guilty look on his face prompting a laugh from Rayna. He walked to the door to find his mother there, smiling shyly.
"I didn't want to disturb y'all, but I just got Maddie settled if ya wanta go in an' say goodnight to her," Linnie Mae said. She gazed up at her son, her eyes shining, and raised up on her tiptoes so she could kiss his cheek.
"I'm so proud of you, honey."
Linnie and Rick had taken a week off to visit so that Nancy, Maddie's nanny, could vacation with her grown son and his family in Los Angeles. Nancy, Rayna's first friend at Al-Anon, had gotten a divorce when her husband had decided sobriety was no fun, and she'd been at loose ends when Rayna asked if she'd come along on their tour to look after Maddie. During the long, hard weeks on the road, the toddler had taken to the loving, middle-aged woman so thoroughly that Rayna and Deacon had hired her full-time. She now occupied an upstairs bedroom at the lake house, freeing Rayna and Deacon to perform in the evenings and attend requisite late-night industry events without worry.
It was Nancy's steady presence in the house, and the easy time Rayna had had recovering her figure after Maddie's birth, that had persuaded her to indulge Deacon when he suggested they ditch the birth control after Maddie's first birthday and "let nature take her course."
Of course, he'd caught her at a vulnerable time - in bed. "We're finally gettin' good at this, we need to spend the next few months in the studio anyway, an' we got Nancy and lots of other people willin' to help," he had said, in between kisses. "Besides, don't ya think Maddie needs a little sister?"
Though she had rather hoped nature would take her time, Rayna had missed her period the very next month. Naturally, Deacon had been overjoyed when she'd come out of the bathroom waving the positive pregnancy test, her expression halfway between shock and delight.
"You an' me darlin', we just can't miss, can we!?" he had announced triumphantly, running to lift her off her feet and spin her around in his arms.
"Ugh - careful, babe. I don't want to start getting queasy right away," she had said, smiling as he put her down and kissed her.
"Sorry. It's just, I missed this part the first time around - the happy part."
"So did I," Rayna had acknowledged. "I mean, the beginning wasn't exactly purely happy for me either, with Maddie. So I guess we need to just enjoy this one, right?"
Now, they walked hand-in-hand to the nursery, where Maddie was lying on her back in the crib, her beloved Mr. Bunny clutched in one fist and her eyes fixed on the ceiling, listening to the tape of Rayna and Deacon's quiet ballads that she always liked at bedtime. She reached her chubby hand up and clutched Deacon's finger while Rayna brushed a dark curl off her forehead and leaned down to kiss her softly.
"Good night, sweet girl," Rayna whispered, as they watched her drop slowly off to sleep. She turned to Deacon: "Do you think this new one could possibly be as sweet as she is, babe?"
"Sure she will. And maybe you'll finally get your Daphne this time."
Rayna smiled, recalling their long standoff over Maddie's name. "Who says this one's gonna be a girl? Maybe you'll get your ..."
"Jake," Deacon whispered, almost under his breath.
"Jacob - really? After your uncle?"
Deacon nodded and Rayna studied his face, surprised by the shy excitement in his eyes. She remembered how relieved he'd been the last time, when she'd told him they were having a girl. It had never occurred to her that this time, he might be dreaming about a son. She smiled to herself, reminded once again of how far he'd come over the past two years.
"Jake's okay. Or, you know what? I've always liked Lucas."
"Luke? God, no."
"Why not?"
"Reminds me of Ol' 18-Wheeler; Mr. Beer-and-Trucks."
"Luke Wheeler? I thought he was your buddy. What happened - you two have a falling out I didn't hear about?"
"Oh Rayna, please." Deacon looked at her, skeptical. "You know damn well that guy's always had a thing for you."
Rayna's mouth fell open. "I don't know what you're talking about, Deacon Claybourne!" she protested, keeping her voice to a whisper to avoid waking Maddie.
He studied her, then shook his head, sighing. "You really don't even see it, do you?"
She slipped her arms around his neck and reached up to kiss him. "Why would I? You know I only have eyes for you."
"Good. Let's keep it that way," he said, clutching her tightly around the waist.
"Hey, what're you doin'?" she asked, as he reached down and lifted her easily into his arms.
"I'm doin this," he said, carrying her across the hall toward their bedroom. He eyed her with a mischievous smile: "I figure I gotta do it while I still can. Couple more months an' this ain't gonna be so easy."
She gasped indignantly, but he covered her mouth with his own as he laid her down on their bed, kissing her long and hard. By the time he drew back and looked down into her eyes, the retort to his teasing had vanished and she could only gaze up at him, adoringly.
"I love you so much."
"I love you too, darlin', with all my heart."
It was as true then as it would be over the years, through wins and losses, setback and gains, their love grounding their music and a houseful of children who would thrive in the kind of family they'd always dreamed about.
But that was all ahead of them, better than they could even imagine, as Deacon stood up, walked across the room and shut the door.
The End