Chapter 26: Our Hands Will Never Be Clean
Spoiled, selfish little child
Went out to play out in the wild
I found you shaking like a leaf
Underneath your family tree
You could never live out in the open
Regretting every word you've spoken
When you break it's too late for you to fall apart
And the blame that you claim is all your own fault
And you've been crying out for forever
But forever's come and gone
You keep begging for forgiveness
But you don't think you've done wrong
You've been crying out for forever
Forever's come and gone
My bleeding hands, my shaking head
As your love starts to surround you
All of their words are trying to drown you
And you break, it's too late for you to fall apart
And the blame that you claim is all your own fault
And I have seen all that you've seen
And I have been where you've been
No, our hands will never be clean
At least we can hold each other
-Bear's Den, "When You Break"
The Green Goblin threw his head back and laughed as his prey gave chase. Its laugh was inhuman, a high-pitched chuckling that gurgled from behind its terrifying mask. Its heavily armored body slammed against the earth with each step, impossibly fast given the weight it carried. Gwen and Mary Jane were no match for its speed and when Gwen looked over her shoulder at the monstrosity chasing them through Central Park, she saw the short gap between them beginning to close. It would be upon them soon. Undoubtedly, Peter had called her father and they were both on their way but Central Park covered a lot of land. People had been killed in Central Park, their screams silenced by the buzz of the city. She had to do something or else her and Mary Jane were doomed to the same fate.
'This is my fault. I know he's after me!' Gwen's breathing was raggedly torn from her chest as she sprinted through the thick forest. 'Norman Osborn! I'd recognize that flight suit anywhere!'
Up ahead, the path forked. With the gentlest of shoves, Gwen pushed Mary Jane onto one path while she took the other. Mary Jane continued to run but her face crumpled as she screamed out for her friend. They couldn't stop running. They had to keep going - no matter what.
"KEEP RUNNING, MJ!" Gwen's words ripped through her burning lungs and she only hoped that her friend could hear her through the trees. The Green Goblin would be following her now. Mary Jane would be safe.
With another look behind her shoulder, Gwen's heart dropped. Her sprint slowed to a run, which slowed to a walk. She turned her body completely. The Green Goblin wasn't chasing her.
He had come for Mary Jane.
It was the sound of laughter that I'll never forget. Maniacal laughter, like hyenas, and heavy breathing muffled by a mask. These sounds would forever haunt me.
Gwen had separated herself from me and I was running alone - dodging pinpricks of light peaking through a thick canopy of autumn leaves. The thing chasing me was fast but for now, at least, I was faster. I felt my quads aching under the stress but I kept running with the knowledge that my life could be over if I stopped.
"Let's play, Ms. Watson!" The masked man screamed, his voice strained in an eerie, child-like falsetto.
My endurance was beginning to fail me. I tried to drown out the sound of his laughter and listen only to the leaves crunching beneath my tennis shoes.
'Stop being afraid, MJ,' I repeated it over and over, 'Stop being afraid.'
As if to mock my words, the man threw a small pumpkin (I kid you not! - A pumpkin!) and when it collided with the trunk of a tree I had just passed, it exploded. The tree disintegrated, sending hundreds of splinters slicing through the air. Billows of smoke lifted into the cloudless sky. Fear was inevitable.
The path opened into a clearing. I glanced behind my shoulder but I couldn't see the masked man behind the billows of smoke from the explosion. In the middle of the clearing was a lake and the bridge Gwen and I had rested upon before I left New York. I had to find somewhere to hide. There! - Beside the lake! A rocky overcrop! Surely there would be somewhere to hide. I ran as quickly as I could, my last ounce of energy pouring into my legs. I rounded the rocky overcrop and sure enough, there was a small overhang cut into the rocks, barely large enough for my small body. Prior occupants had left a slew of empty beer bottles and as I waited, I held one of the empty beer bottle to my chest, ready to defend myself if found. As I waited, I had to soundlessly laugh at my choice of weapon. If this masked villain possessed flying pumpkins that could disintegrate 100-year-old Oaks, a beer bottle wasn't going to save me.
My heart quickened in my throat - someone was walking towards me, their feet crunching twigs as they walked. He had found me. It was over.
I pressed my back against the cool wall of the rocks. My grip tightened around the neck of the beer bottle. He was within feet of me; I could hear his soft breath muffled by his mask.
Suddenly, I was springing upwards. As I always found myself doing in the face of danger, I lost all sense of rationale. I cracked the beer bottle against the rocks, breaking the bottom of it. I waved the jagged bottle through the air, hopeful that it would hit its mark. Had I been appropriately trained, my foolish bravery would have made me a formidable adversary. As it was, my foolish bravery made me simply that: foolish.
It was a blur of red and blue. As I stabbed at the air, Spider-Man bent backwards from the waist, his flexible body curling at an angle I thought only possible in the Matrix. The jagged edges of the beer bottle skirted above his chest, barely missing the thin fabric of his costume. He snapped back up and clasped my wrists gently within his gloved fingertips.
"Hiding 101: You never, ever come out of hiding unless you've got a damned good plan." That voice. That voice I had missed so much. It was so familiar and yet, unfamiliar. Confidence surged through Spider-Man's voice and instantly, I felt my heart rate returning to a normal pace.
"Spider-Man!" I released the beer bottle and it fell beside our feet. "Gwen!" My eyes widened and my heart rate began to pick up again. "You have to find my friend Gwen!"
"Shh, it's okay. Captain Stacy and his men are with her. She sent me to find you." He released my wrists, stepped back from me then scanned our surroundings. "A goblin, huh? Where's the l'il guy?"
I began to grow nervous. "Spider-Man, this isn't a joke."
"MJ," He stopped scanning the surroundings then turned back to face me. While I knew he didn't mean to come across as condescending, his tone came across as just that. "It's almost Halloween. It was probably just some little kid trying to scare you two."
"No! This wasn't just some little kid!" My tone was growing frantic. "He knew my last name! He had a pumpkin - it disintegrated an entire tree!"
"Calm down, Mary Jane." He tried to put his arm around my shoulders but I stepped away from him.
"No! I know what I saw and that wasn't a child! He knew me! He was after me!" I was screaming my words, fear permeating my voice. I didn't care about hiding my emotions. Rather, I laid them upon the table for him to see. "Don't you get it, Spider-Man? This isn't like Shriek. This is someone who knows me!"
Spider-Man suddenly grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. He wrapped his entire body around me as we fell into the grass. There was an explosion. My ears rang from the close proximity to the blast. Above the ringing, I heard Spider-Man's painful groan and I knew he had been injured. Smoke filled my nostrils and I began to cough. I closed my eyes as another explosion blasted the rocks beside us. All I could hear was a ringing in my ears.
Spider-Man wrapped his arm around my waist and slowly stood, lifting me with him. His limbs were shaking but I could hardly see him through the thick gray smoke to evaluate the extent of his wounds. Another flash of light and we were both sent cascading through the air. I felt the powerful blast's vibrations in my bones and I knew then, if I suffered a direct hit, I wouldn't survive. I landed some distance from the rocks and it took a moment for me to gather my wits but when I finally did, I looked up and saw the goblin standing above Spider-Man's broken body.
Spider-Man tried to get up but the goblin shoved his boot into his back, shoving him back down into the grass.
"This isn't your fight, Spider-Man!" My hearing was beginning to come back. I sat up. I tried to stand but my weak legs gave out on me. "I came here to end her and that's what I intend on doing!" The goblin swung his leg back then forward. When the toe of his boot connected with Spider-Man's side, the strength of his kick sent him through the air. He connected with the side of the rocky outcrop then fell lifeless upon the ground. I was past the point of thinking. My most basic instincts were kicking in, begging me to simply survive.
With each step, the goblin came closer. With each step, I scrambled backwards, unable to stand.
"It's time for you to pay the piper, Ms. Watson." The goblin's child-like voice sent chills down my spine. He walked through the smoke, his emerald armor glistening in the dim light. I looked up into those yellow eyes of his as he stood above me, the drawn back mouth etched into his mask mocking me in his delight. "Do you know what happens to little whores when they die?"
I stared up into his mask, unable to speak. He grew enraged, his body trembling with anger.
"ANSWER ME!" He screamed with such force that I flinched beneath him. He laughed maniacally, his laugh continuing to gurgle in his throat as he awaited my answer.
"...no," I finally found the words, "I don't know."
"Me neither." He laughed then pulled a pumpkin from the utility belt slung across his midsection. "But you'll find out soon enough." He tossed the pumpkin high into the air and as it ascended, he stared down into my face. "Rest in Peace, Mary Jane Watson."
He stepped away from me.
I had to move before the pumpkin dropped from its ascent.
I began to crawl on my hands and knees. I was moving too slowly. The pumpkin was dropping too quickly.
This was it: I was going to die today.
At the very last millisecond, Spider-Man shot out a webline and snatched the pumpkin from its descent. From my hands and knees, I watched with wide eyes as he drew the pumpkin to him, away from me. He changed the pumpkin's vertical drop into horizontal momentum then released the webline. He jumped to his feet and ran to me, scooping me into his arms as the pumpkin exploded into the side of the rocky outcrop. The blast threw us forward and we both splashed into the lake.
Consciousness threatened to slip from my battered fingers. Chunks of rock fell around us, each boulder narrowly missing us. I lost sight of Spider-Man. I treaded water, my legs hardly able to keep me above the black water. The smoke was beginning to clear. Where was he? Had the blast knocked him unconscious? Desperately, I dunked my head beneath the water with my eyes open but I couldn't see anything in the inky black water of the lake. I thrusted my hands through the water, blindly searching for his body. I dove into the water again and again. Finally, I found his body at the bottom of the lake. Gripping both of his shoulders, I heaved him back to the surface of the lake.
He wasn't moving. I tried to call his name as I rolled him onto his back and held him against my body as we swam back to the shoreline but he didn't respond. We swam to the opposite shoreline and with the renewed strength of adrenaline coursing through my veins, I dragged him onto the muddy shore.
"Spider-Man, please," I shook him, "Wake up!"
I pushed against his diaphragm in hopes of pushing the water from his lungs. Nothing was working. He was dying at my fingertips. I had to save him.
I eyed the bottom lip of his mask. He wore a mask to protect his identity but what good was a secret identity if you were dead? I deliberated for only a moment then sprung back into action. I reached up and grabbed the lip of his mask then pulled it free from his face.
I gasped and tears fell down my wet cheeks.
There wasn't any time to dwell upon the face I saw behind Spider-Man's mask. I tilted his chin up, pinched his nose, folded my mouth around his sickly purple lips and began to breathe life back into his lungs. One breath, check chest for breathing. No breathing. One breath, two pumps against his diaphragm. Check chest for breathing. No breathing.
"Damnit, breathe for me!" Two pumps against his diaphragm. One breath, check chest for breathing. No breathing. One breath, two pumps against his diaphragm. I was sobbing between breaths. I had failed everyone I had ever known - I prayed that God let me succeed, even just once. "Please, Peter, breathe!"
One final breath, check chest for breathing. Nothing.
I had failed.
As I kneeled beside him, my hands still pressed against his diaphragm, I broke down. I was struck down by an indescribable sorrow. Sobs racked through my body, squeezing an anguished scream from my chest. I rested my forehead against his still abdomen and cried out to his lifeless body, "I love you, Peter. I'm so sorry I couldn't save you."
Because wasn't this also love? Not romantic love but the "I'll always be there for you," "I'll always catch you when you fall" kind of love. And hadn't he always caught me when I fell? My mind thought back to my first encounter with Spider-Man; an encounter with the Rhino that had ended with him literally catching me as I fell from the top of a skyscraper. He knew my worth and still, it had been enough for him to justify laying his own life on the line to save me. I couldn't give up on him.
I lifted my forehead from his stomach and began to press against his diaphragm.
Three pumps. One breath, check chest for breathing.
Four pumps. One breath, check chest for breathing.
Five pumps. One breath, check chest for breathing.
Suddenly, his chest heaved upwards and he rolled away from me. He began to vomit black lake water. I crawled backwards from him and as he began to sputter and cough, I laid back against the mud and closed my eyes.