Reese and sank to the floor, not caring how wet it was. She leant her head back against the railing as she pulled her hands through her hair and looked up at the sky.

"What have I done?" she cried. "Why do I always do the stupidest things when it comes to Bianca?"

Maggie gingerly took a seat beside her on the deck.

"Desperation." said Maggie a hint of sympathy in her voice. "When I broke her heart, I hoped a kiss would save us too..." Her expression hardened again. "But not like that! You don't force yourself on Bianca!"

"I know… I know!" said Reese thoroughly devastated by her actions. She turned to look at her companion. When they had met Reese hadn't been paying too much attention, focusing more on being close to her girls and Bianca and trying desperately hard (and yet failing) to not hate Marissa. The name was familiar now as she focused at the petite doctor settled beside her.

"You're the Maggie?" Reese asked, "Bianca's first great love?"

"I wasn't her first." said Maggie, "But yeah, years ago I was in the enviable position of Bianca's girlfriend and Miranda's other mother, but I screwed up."

Reese gave a self-deprecating laugh.

"Worse than kissing your brother-in-law the day before your wedding?"

Maggie looked at Reese with new eyes.

"Seriously!? You did that?"

"I was scared… I was confused… I was drunk…"

"None of which are very good excuses."

"No I guess not." said Reese with a sigh.

"But she forgave you?"

"It took a lot of grovelling and begging before she came back…" said Reese sadly. "But she did forgive me eventually… I'd lost her trust and it took a long time to get it back. I'm not sure I ever forgave myself though. Because she needed that! She needed to able to trust me… she's been hurt and betrayed too many times before."

"Some of that is my fault." said Maggie, "I broke her trust in the worse way. When we were together I cheated on her…"

It was Reese's turn to look at her with surprise.

Maggie gave Reese a strained smile.

"Oh I convinced myself in so many ways that it was the right thing to do; that sleeping with Cecelia would prove that I was really a lesbian and that it wasn't just Bianca that made me feel that way; it would prove that Bianca and I were meant to be - that we had a future! And I really believed that Bianca would never find out... and if she did she would always forgive me. But I was just stupid and selfish and scared... I followed Bianca to Paris because I couldn't imagine my life without her, she was my best friend and… she loved me so much and I loved her. But I could never give her what she gave me. I mean, even after I broke her heart she told me she still loved me and that she just needed time… I could never be that good and that kind and that passionate as she is about everything she does; her family; her work; her love."

"You just want to give her the world and it is never enough." said Reese in agreement. "I worked so hard to give her what I thought she wanted but I got it so wrong. I thought we were working but I was just making her unhappy and I should have tried harder to make it right. She married me again because she did love me and she knew how much I loved her. That stupid kiss wasn't what ended us, we had got passed that! It is just an easy excuse; that I betrayed her and she couldn't let it go. In truth my greatest sin was that I couldn't put our family first. I betrayed our children."

Reese let out a long sigh.

"I love my job, I'm good at my job and there are times when work can take over your life if you feel that passionately about it… Everybody has that, right?" Reese looked to Maggie for confirmation, but the other woman only gave her a small smile. Reese pulled her hand through her hair in frustration. "I was working on some incredible projects. I'd been given some amazing opportunities and I thought Bianca understood. Maybe she did, but our girls didn't. They didn't understand why I wasn't there. I always said to myself, 'this weekend I am going to be there for the girls', 'tonight we will have a family dinner'… But there was always something, a late meeting, some planning issue or technical problem… I broke too many promises. Bianca gave me one last chance and I couldn't do it, I couldn't put my family before my work. I think in the end she left, not because of us, but because I was hurting our girls." Reese gave a pathetic laugh. "And then I went and made it a million time worse by trying to take her kids from her in a hope it would force her to come back… I think it was also a way to punish her for choosing the children over us. I'm a fool! All Bianca ever needed to make her happy was a home and family. I just wasn't the one to give it to her."

"Nor me. But at least now it seems Bianca has finally found someone who loves her and her girls the way they deserve." said Maggie, glancing back to the fogged up windows of the cabin.

"Yeah," said Reese looking heavenward again. "And do you know the ironic part? I think our divorce is what brought them together!"

Reese turned to Maggie and gave a short laugh at the sight of them sat out in the cold, mourning the loss of Bianca. Then she frowned again, remembering how she had desperately thrown herself at Bianca, the horror in her eyes as she tried to push her away.

"I'm not going to fix this am I." she said sadly, "I've lost Bianca and my girls all over again. Maybe I should just throw myself off this boat and swim to shore. It would be better than having to face her again."

As she spoke Reese got slowly to her feet and stepped to the opposite rail.

Maggie got up and followed her.

"I hope you're kidding." she said, joining her at the handrail.

"I think it would hurt less." said Reese staring wistfully at the water, but she didn't mean it, she just couldn't bear the thought of having to face Bianca again… or Miranda. Oh god, she'd terrified Miranda as well!

"One thing Bianca respects most is honesty." said Maggie. "You have to apologise."

"And if she won't forgive me?"

"It doesn't matter," said Maggie, "You just have to say it."

"God!" cried Reese, pacing back from the rail, trying to psych herself up and pull together enough courage to go back into the cabin to face the room full of accusing stares.

Maggie was still watching her, but there was now understanding in her eyes. They were allies now; allies in their own stupidity for ever letting Bianca go.

…