The Scholarship

by Sopphires

When Kurt is chased out of McKinley he runs to Dalton Academy, but the private school is expensive and even with the extra money from Burt and Carole's honeymoon, they can't cover the cost of tuition. There is one way, though, for Kurt to get in, but that means winning a scholarship off the black-haired, hazel eyed Warbler Kurt is pretty sure he just fell for. Rated T for swearing

14. Tidings

Dear readers,

I apologise for the delay in posting this chapter; I had all the ideas in my head but transforming them into words took much longer than I was expecting. Also, after this chapter, I won't post the other till well into December, most likely January, at the earliest because I have my grade 7 cello exam, my real solo GCSE recording AND my mock GCSE's all creeping up on me so I read to practise and revise, LOTS! Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter and I'll be interested to hear any of your thoughts on it because I'm unsure how all of this came across.

Enjoy reading and thank you for your support and patience!
Sopphires.

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The Scholarship

Episode 14: Tidings

I think Christmas has to be one of my favourite holidays. For one, there's an excuse to do a load of shopping, and, secondly, it's a time where I get decorate the house and bake, and my dad doesn't give me weird looks. I mean, don't get me wrong, I think the whole thing about Jesus is just bullshit, but I appreciate what Christmas is about; love and family…and I can celebrate both those things; I mean, my right to love whoever I want is kind of the most important thing in my life - that and my dad, so, yeah, Christmas is pretty good holiday for me, plus dad always splashes out on me, so good presents here I come…

Kurt opened his eyes slowly. His bed was warm, and the room was dark and quiet. Finn, it seemed, was either still asleep or had figured out how to leave a dark room quietly. Kurt was going for the former. Finn was not only an ungraceful person, but his head, also, seemed to be too far away from the floor to pay attention to his feet.

Kurt let out a low moan, and rolled over. Today was the first days of the holidays, and most of his stuff was packed away; curse boarding school! Of course, Dalton didn't tell it's students to take all their stuff back home - as far as Kurt was aware there was no rule that said the boys themselves had to go - but Kurt wanted to change his wardrobe, and wear some of the clothes.

Kurt sat up with a groan that was a little too dramatic for that small piece of exercise. He threw off the covers and turned on the small but tasteful bedside lamp, and was shocked to see that the bed on the other side if the room was empty and neatly made. Blinking in astonishment he got to his feet, and flicked on the main light.

He glanced at the clock face and was shocked to see that it had gone nine o'clock! Kurt never lay in that long! He must have slept for about eleven hours! He hadn't even had that tiring a day yesterday. He'd just gone out for a long lunch with dad in Westerville over the course of which Kurt had told him all about the carol service and his solo and the things that had happened in the run up to the end of term like the exams and the snowball fights.

They'd gotten back at around five, and Kurt had then had to repeat all his stories to Carole and Finn whilst eating popcorn that Finn had made for no apparent reason. However, it was relaxing, considering the amount of noise that Finn generated, and the fact that he knew Carole was biting her tongue to ask some more about Keats - a topic that Kurt didn't really want to discuss with his dad in the near vicinity because Kurt knew that his dad wasn't sure what to make of the wavy haired boy. Kurt was sure that telling his dad that he'd already had sex with someone hadn't made a good impression upon Burt.

The shower was enough to convince Kurt that, maybe, it had been a bad idea to sleep in as it was ice cold from previous use, and he hopped around as he tried to make the handle turn further so that it would be hotter. It was to no avail, and he had to go without washing his hair and the bathroom not being boiling from steam as he dried.

With an extra blast of hairspray, and checking his appearance once last time in the mirror, he deemed himself ready to go down to breakfast. He tweaked the tie around his neck, and decided that he wasn't sure why he was so determined to make such a good impression; last time he'd come down for breakfast in his dressing gown. Then again, when Keats had been here, lunch had been unbearably awkward, and Kurt had ended up talking nineteen-to-the-dozen about everything he could think of to fill the awkward silence.

Though, he mused, it probably wouldn't have been so bad if Keats had decided to open his mouth! I have no idea why he chose then to close his mouth - he normally talks a lot, and this was after he'd decided to tell my dad about him and Sebastian…

"Mornin' Kurt!" said Finn from the sofa, already watching the highlights of sort of ice-hockey game on the TV. Kurt shook his head at his brother's obsession with sports that he couldn't even play, and turned into the kitchen.

"Kurt!" exclaimed Carole, clearly halfway through a strong cup of coffee, and checking her watch. "It's good to see you, honey, I thought that I'd be leaving without seeing you." Kurt smiled at her, and searched for some oats for porridge - daily breakfast with Keats and his friends had got him accustomed to this for breakfast - and some banana to put on.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what happened." he admitted, small smile on his face that was a little sheepish. "I almost slept for twelve hours!" Carole gave a loud laugh.

"Well, you looked a little out of it when you came home; you've been working yourself too hard." Kurt didn't disagree with that statement because the run up to the exams and the Carol Concert had been one long blur of what needed to be done.

"I wouldn't disagree with that statement." he said, wryly. "Professor Lloyd kept going on about how I had to do "above average" because I took no entrance exams." Carole scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Kurt, you're obviously going to do far better than that. You were always too smart for McKinley." Kurt smiled up at the woman that was his step-mother, but was just like a good friend, and he heard Finn cough.

"Hello, your birth child in earshot! What about me?" Carole and Kurt shared amused looks, and both laughed to themselves.

"You're a very talented singer, Finn, and an excellent sportsman."

"Thank you!" he called back, and turned back to the TV. Kurt laughed some more at that, and turned to make his breakfast properly as Burt tramped inside.

"Alright, drive's clear." he said, looking over at Kurt and smiling at the sight of his son. "You finally decided to join us?" Kurt shrugged, and made his way over to one of the armchairs, sitting down and glaring at the highlights that were still playing.

"If the channel isn't changed soon I might just be leaving again." Finn groaned.

"But I haven't seen the game I want yet."

"Finn, change channel, now." Finn grumbled about Kurt hogging the telly, but obediently turned off the sport. Settling back to watch the news, which got him some raised eyes from his dad, he contentedly ate his breakfast as Finn talked about their championship game which was coming up not long after they went back to school, and, though he wasn't going to say it out loud now, Kurt was hoping to come.

When Kurt finished his breakfast, and was putting it away in the dishwasher, the doorbell rang. Finn yelled that he had it, and Kurt heard him answering the door, and hoped that it wasn't carollers. Kurt couldn't stand carollers, apart from the religiousness of the holiday, they were the thing that annoyed him the most about Christmas. Okay, when they were good they weren't that annoying, but some of them were really bad, and wouldn't go away unless you gave them something. Sure, it was for charity, but did they have to be so annoying?

"Hey Mercedes, Tina." dropping the mug back into the sink, Kurt sprinted to the door when he heard Finn greet his friends.

"Kurt!" They both exclaimed, and he hugged his friends who wrapped up in lots of layers.

"Hey, it's good to see you." he didn't need to look at their faces for very long to know that he was about to be kidnapped and interrogated, mostly about Keats. He sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Dad, I'm going out with Mercedes and Tina!" he called, and moved to get his coat, and a scarf.

"Hey, can I come?" asked Finn, and he was shot venomous looks as the two girls folded their arms and shook their heads.

"Sorry, Finn," said Kurt, stuffing his feet into some boots. "but this looks like some serious girl-talk." Finn nodded, taking a couple of steps back.

"Oh, okay…" he shrugged.

"Also, Rachel will be there." Finn bolted into the living room at the mention of his ex, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You need to fill me on that." he said as he made his way out of the house and towards Mercedes' car.

"Oh, we will." promised Mercedes.

"But first we need more details on your boyfriend." Kurt didn't even bother rolling his eyes at Tina, knowing that this had been the whole point of it all.

"So, where are we going?"

"How does drinks at Breadstixs sound?" questioned Mercedes, and Kurt just nodded, and privately thinking that the New Directions should just declare that their official second home and have done with it. He was sure that Santana would live there if she could, and, okay, the food was good, but it wasn't that good.

"So, is it all the girls?"

"Well, not Lauren…" said Mercedes, rolling her eyes, and Tina just shook her head.

"I get that we're not exactly the club that everyone wants to be, but I still think he could have found someone better than Lauren." Kurt arched an eyebrow.

"Bad singer?" They both shrugged.

"We wouldn't know - there was no time for an audition." Kurt's eyebrow raised itself higher. They'd replaced him with someone, and they didn't even know if they could sing! They must have been seriously desperate. It was especially weird as he hadn't even beena full member of Dalton Academy at the time.

"That's a bit…" he couldn't quite find the word he wanted, and the two girls nodded.

"Yeah, we know, but we were desperate." Kurt snorted, and sat back in his seat. He'd known they were desperate, he had heard the story last time he was here after all, but he had assumed that they'd just left out the part where she auditioned because it wasn't as interesting as the rest of the tale. Though, now that he thought about it Puck, Matt and Mike hadn't auditioned either, but Puck had proven himself a decent singer - and Mike, and Matt, were good dancers.

Kurt didn't know why, but the inane chatter about what was going on about McKinley was soothing for him, and it gave him time to collect his thoughts about what he wanted to tell them about Keats. He had no doubts that Santana and Mercedes would stop at nothing to extract all details from him, but Kurt was hesitant to say that he and Keats had never exactly talked about their relationship, or gone on any kind of date.

It was his life, and he didn't have to tell them anything, but Kurt feared what Santana had learnt in Lima Heights, like any sane person would, and he was absolutely certain that she would take great pleasure in torturing him for information. He vaguely wondered whether Santana had ever called Nick back after he gave her his number. He certainly wouldn't have put it past either of them to go and hook-up, not after what he'd learnt about Sebastian and Nick, something that still made him shudder for some reason. He guessed he just didn't like thinking about that kind of thing anyway, but it just seemed kind of wrong.

He guessed it was the lack of feelings involved that disturbed him. The way they could just sleep together and then just be friends afterwards. It was like it didn't matter that they'd had sex. Wasn't there some sort of, Kurt didn't know, bond between them after an event like that? Or maybe that was just Kurt romanticising the whole thing. Especially as it had been Nick's first time - or so it had sounded like. Kurt didn't want his first time to be a throw away occasion, it was special, meaningful…It was about trusting someone, or so he always thought it was meant to be.

He didn't quite like thinking about these kind of things, and so he let his mind wander. Unfortunately it landed on Keats and his father. His promise to go to Vince's was not as reassuring as he knew it was meant to be. Mainly because the fact that Vince had mentioned that his father didn't care about him had stuck in his mind, and that just made him uneasy. He didn't know whether that meant he was to think that, maybe, that meant he wasn't around so that he couldn't be there to get angry at Keats, or whether it was some thing else…like he didn't care for Vince, if that even made sense.

"Oi, lover boy!" Kurt stared and looked around. He saw the two girls smirking, evilly, at him and then noticed that they'd made it to Breadstixs.

"Oh," he said, unbuckling his seatbelt and stretching. "that was quick."

"Something on your mind?" teased Mercedes, and Kurt glowered at her, not about to give her the satisfaction of saying that he'd been incredibly preoccupied by thoughts - or worries - about Keats.

"I don't know what you're talking about." he said, swinging the car door shut behind him, and flicking the end of one of his other scarves over his shoulder. Tina eyed it.

"You're not wearing Blaine's." she said, looking a little surprised. Kurt shrugged, not thinking that it was a noteworthy thing. Mercedes raised an eyebrow. Kurt just hooked his arms between theirs, and steered them towards the entrance.

"Blaine's scarf is nice and all, but I do like some of my own, you know."

"Sure, and it has nothing to do with the fact that you are "moving on" from him." Kurt glared at Mercedes as Tina informed the waitress of their reservation, and shook his head.

"Look, 'Cedes, I meant what I said," he said in a quiet voice as they followed Tina to their table. "I just need time to move on; I don't understand why you keep bringing it up. It's over, not that there was anything happening in the first place." Mercedes turned to face him full on, hands on her hips.

"I won't let it go because you deserve him, white boy. You deserve to have the person you love, not the person that you're just "happy" with." Kurt sighed, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"Mercedes, I never get what I want. I never get what I deserve, and it's always because of who I am. I thought that might chance at Dalton, but it's not about what school I'm at, it's about life." Mercedes frowned at him, looking confused.

"What are you talking about?" Kurt sighed, and let his posture slacken.

"That there are always jerks, and Neanderthals in the world; even at Dalton." Mercedes narrowed her eyes.

"You talking about that Sebastian guy, right?" Kurt shrugged.

"Something he said…" he muttered, and Mercedes began to give him an increasingly bitchy face. Kurt just let out another sigh. "He said that…he said that Blaine like him because he was insecure and Sebastian wasn't, and he said that's why he'd never like me because I'm insecure." Mercedes just stared at him for a moment.

"Does this guy know you at all?" she demanded, and Kurt considered the question for a second before shaking his head.

"No, course not."

"Then why the hell do you listen to him?" Kurt paused, trying to put into words how he felt about the whole situation.

"I don't know Mercedes, it's just…sometimes…" he sighed. "Sometimes you just start believing that nothing good's ever going to happen. I mean, I'd never met another out-of-the-closet gay guy until I came to Dalton, but I only went there because I had my life threatened…it's like-" he broke off, frowning and swallowing. "like-" he faltered, and looked into her concerned face. "some of the time I wish I was back at McKinley."

There was a long pause in which Mercedes eyed him up and down in disbelief, and Kurt knew that he sounded crazy because Dalton was everything he ever wanted, but…It was just infuriating to be at school that was so…secretive. Everybody at Dalton had some sort of secret, or back-story, and it was tiring him out to think about. Kurt didn't have anything to hide, not really, because Blaine knew what had happened with Karofsky.

"Man, did they put on crazy pills or something?" demanded Mercedes, staring at him incredulously. "You better put your head together, Kurt. Why the hell would you want to be at McKinley, it sucks, everyone knows that! Everyone at McKinley is a Lima Loser, at Dalton you're rubbing shoulders with the greats! Man you should have heard Rachel when she found out you knew Rosanne Watters' step-son!" Kurt laughed at that, imagining an outpouring of jealousy that she hadn't been able to do in public, and turned with Mercedes to where Tina was sitting.

"Thanks Mercedes, sometimes I think the boys there are driving me crazy!" Mercedes rolled her eyes, and slid onto her seat.

"Now, what good would they be if they didn't?" Kurt laughed, and Tina looked between them in confusion.

"I just got a text from Santana," she said. "Her and Britt are a couple of minutes away, and, be warned Kurt, she wants to know everything about this Keats of yours." Kurt had expected nothing less, and so waited patiently for the two cheerleaders to arrive.

Brittany hugged him enthusiastically, and Kurt hugged her back tightly before she jumped up and down in excitement over Christmas, and told Kurt all about meeting Santa and Artie being able to walk. Kurt looked at Tina and Mercedes in surprise and Tina mouthed "they broke" at him from behind Brittany's back. Kurt nodded in understanding and slipped into his seat as Santana fixed an intent stare on him and Quinn came in the door. She smiled, brightly, at Kurt and sat down next to Santana, the promise ring glinting on her finger.

"Hey Kurt," she said, tugging a scarf from around her neck. "how was your concert and your solo?" Kurt smiled at her for remembering as the other girls "ohhed" and crowed in as they remembered that.

"I'll tell you in a sec, where's Rachel?"

"She should be coming." said Tina checking her phone. "She might just be stuck in traffic or something." Mercedes opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a waitress asking them to order their drinks. They placed their orders quickly and then Mercedes, with an overdramatic sigh, said what she'd wanted to originally;

"Or, maybe, God willing, she discovered the fact that holidays allow you to have lie-ins." They all rolled her eyes as Mercedes rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"I am fully aware that you're allowed to lie-in in the holidays," came the crisp, clear, voice of Rachel Berry from the foot of their table. "but that would waste precious hours in the day, not to mention messing up my carefully structured routine." There were eye rolls from around the table as Kurt stood back up to hug Rachel. She smiled, brightly, at Kurt as they sat back down. "How was your solo?" she asked primly and Kurt beamed.

"Not to blow my own horn or anything, but I sounded amazing." There were snorts and sniggers from the girls, and Santana rolled her eyes. "I mean, don't get me wrong, it was pretty disconcerting at first because there was complete silence. No accompaniment or back-up, just my voice in this big church, but once you get used to it just rings…" he smiled at the memory. "and then the organ comes pounding in, and the whole place is filled with song…I have no idea how Vince managed to sleep through it."

"Vince?" questioned Tina, frowning in confusion at the unfamiliar name. Kurt rolled his eyes, sighing, and loosing track of who the New Directions had met - or had heard of at least. The drinks were quickly delivered to the table and then Kurt told them who Vince was;

"He's Keats' best friend." Everybody's eyes brightened at the mention of Keats, and Kurt mentally kicked himself for steering the topic of conversation onto him.

"Oh, you're on good terms with his best friends are you?" Kurt rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"I've known Vince for just as long as I've known Keats." The girls all looked at each other, and Kurt sighed. "You want the whole story, don't you?" They all nodded as one. Kurt rolled his eyes. "I met Keats, and his friends, in Social Studies - they're all in my class - on the day of Sectionals. I didn't really know anyone and so Keats invited me to have lunch. We were just friends, but I think…" Kurt trailed off. "I thought for quite a long time that, maybe, he liked me, but then…" he trailed off. "You were all at the concert, you saw Sebastian singing to him."

"What was that about?" asked Rachel curiously, and Kurt bit down on his lip.

"Well, I'm not one hundred per cent clear on the details but…" he drew out the word for dramatic effect, taking pleasure in the way they all leaned in to hear the next bit of gossip. "I think it had a lot to do with the fact that the whole fight that was going on was, sort of, happening over Sebastian." There were some confused frowns.

"What do you mean "sort of" happening over Sebastian?" demanded Mercedes, eventually. "Either they were fighting over him or they weren't, simple as." Kurt shook his head.

"No, not quite. Keats knew exactly what was going on, but Blaine was clueless. Seeing as neither of them were actually dating at him at the time, but what happened - I think because no one has told me really happened…well, they told me this, but they haven't explained everything - is that Sebastian and Keats had, um, slept together."

"What?" came the general explosion from the table. Everyone, except for Brittany who was nonchalantly sucking on the straw of her drink, gaped at him as if they were sure that he was lying.

"You're joking?" said Quinn, eyes wide and disbelieving. Kurt shook his head.

"Wanky," muttered Santana, and Kurt scowled at her, before answering Quinn's question.

"Nope, Sebastian said so," Tina frowned at him.

"How do you know he's not lying?" Kurt sighed, looking at his hands clasped hands on the table. He looked back at the girls with a small smile.

"In the short; I was walking down a corridor with all my books and Keats came running after me. I don't know what he wanted, but someone clucked, and-"

"Wait, sorry? Did you say that someone "clucked", like a chicken?" Kurt nodded at Rachel's confused face.

"Yeah, basically, what they'd done was hang bunches of mistletoe in door frame and if two people stood under it and they didn't seem to notice it was everyone else's job to cluck - 'cause if they didn't kiss they were chickens - and tell them to kiss." There were nods of understanding. "Anyway, there were these two Freshmen standing there. I think they knew about Charles so they looked very awkward and they ran away…" he broke off, blushing.

"Anyway," he said, trying not to be unnerved by the slightly predatory glints in their eyes. "we had a little conversation about how I wasn't sure how I felt and stuff…and then we kissed…but it was over quickly," he added, before anyone could jump in and interrupt him. "'cause Blaine and my other friends turned up and they kind of shocked, and Blaine was…a little bit…hurt, I think." They're eyes widened and Santana winked, suggestively at him whilst the other girls gained excited grins.

"So you're "just friends" and that's why he's hurt by you kissing someone else," Kurt rolled his eyes because they just didn't seem to be getting it.

"It wasn't that I was kissing someone, it was that I was kissing Keats." There were frowns. "Like I said, they had a fight and all that…tension, it hasn't gone away…Anyway, I lost my temper a little bit and I told him that I could kiss whoever I wanted, and that-" Kurt broke off, feeling a little ashamed of himself. "I said that I thought that everything that had happened was his fault."

"Was it?" questioned Rachel and Kurt shook his head.

"No, I don't think so…I said that because Keats had been, kind of, willing to talk about it, but Blaine… He just shuts it straight down, he won't tell me anything, except…" Kurt cut himself off, rolling his eyes, realising that he was getting ahead of himself.

"Except what?"

"Let me tell you this in chronological order, okay, 'cause I'm getting confused. Blaine got angry over what I said, about it being his fault, and he lunged at Keats and, luckily, Sebastian came round the corner 'cause I think Blaine was going to punch him, and then he'd be expelled…" he paused and took a sip of his drink. "And Sebastian found out what happened, and he was questioning Keats and Keats got really fired up about the insinuation that he'd forced himself onto me, but then Luc came before anything got out of hand. Thad told him what happened and it was him that let on that Keats had kissed Sebastian, and then Sebastian said it was more and that's how I found out, and I know he wasn't lying because Luc said he wasn't going to tell me that."

"Wait!" said Mercedes holding up her hand. "How does your music teacher know that? I mean, it's not like Keats is a Warbler." Kurt shrugged.

"I guess, because Blaine and Sebastian are Warblers, it's the same way that Mr Schue knows about Quinn and Puck last year," Quinn rolled her eyes. "and Finn and Santana." Rachel shifted uncomfortably. "Plus this fight was huge, I think people got really hurt…I think the whole school knows." he sighed and shrugged. "Either way Keats walked away and I had a little talk with Luc about my solo before going to cheerleading practise. I told Elise what had happened and she said that if Keats really likes me then she thought that it might be the first step to smoothing things over."

"Why?" Kurt shrugged.

"I think because of Keats liking Sebastian, or something of the sort. She said that David was crying at the end it was so bad, and that everyone knew about Keats and Sebastian. She told me that no one talks about it and only Trinity tried and fix it after what happened to Fred and Andy, and no, I don't know what happened there. It was bad though, but…She told me that nothing was going to happen to me because I had Trinity on my side."

"Sorry," said Quinn, blinking and looking confused. "what is "Trinity"? I mean, you're not talking about the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, are you?" Kurt blinked at her then shook his head.

"No, it's just these three guys in my year who are really odd…but they're nice to me and stuff… It doesn't really matter, but she told me she couldn't tell me because she promised." Kurt broke off, deciding not to mention Charles' sister because that was a whole different story. "So, when I got back to Dalton I ran into Trinity and we had this really brief conversation about Keats, but then he turned up and they ran off. He told me that what happened with Sebastian was a mistake and that he'd thought Sebastian liked him and it happened right at the end of term so there wasn't much time to talk and when they got back Blaine was here and Sebastian was looking after him and liked him, and he looked really sad so I kissed him…"

There were excited squeals from the girls and Mercedes gave him an evil eye, clearly annoyed that he hadn't given her the story in this level of detail when he'd phoned her to tell her about them being boyfriends, but Kurt had just been so excited about actually having a boyfriend at the time to bother with all the little details.

"It's really not that exciting," he said, rolling his eyes. "we kissed again and then his friends turned up and then I asked him to come with me to my house to see dad, and he said that that was okay as long as I never met his dad."

"Why?" Kurt rolled his eyes, holding up a hand.

"Just let me tell the story," he said. "without interrupting." he added, glaring at them. "So, we went to my house and we kissed on the doorstep so that's how Finn found out, but he took it really well, considering, and he said he wanted to threaten him because he was my "older brother"-" Kurt rolled his eyes and made quotation marks in the air. "-and then dad came back and Keats asked him whether he could go out with me and it took a little bit of reassuring, but dad was fine with it, and Keats explained that his dad threw him around when he came out and his mum did nothing."

There was a sad moment of quiet around the table as Kurt took a deep breath, trying to not let his imagination wonder to that moment in the Powers household when Keats' father had grabbed his son and thrown him around whilst his mother did nothing.

"Kurt?" Rachel touched his arm. "Are you okay?" Kurt smiled up at them.

"Yeah, just makes me remember that I'm really lucky to have my dad," he swallowed, shaking his head. "Keats nearly messed it up by telling my family, accidentally, about him and Sebastian," there were long groans at that, each one imagining Kurt's pain in that moment. "but he managed to smooth it over by saying he didn't want to do it again. Said he hadn't been ready."

"Wait, Sebastian forced him?" Kurt sighed and shook his head.

"No, I don't think so…Keats said he hadn't, but it sounded like he didn't realise till after that he maybe wasn't okay with it."

"Did Finn hear all of that?" asked Mercedes curiously. Kurt nodded.

"Yeah, why?" Mercedes just arched an eyebrow and shot him an amused grin. "What?"

"You should have more faith in your step-brother," she said, and Kurt just frowned at her until he understood.

"Ohhh," he said, nodding. "I guess I was wrong, can keep a secret that big."

"Yes, we all knew that," spat Rachel and Kurt and the other girls rolled their eyes as one.

"Sooo, I went back to Dalton and I went to talk to Blaine. I told him we were official and he seemed kind of upset, but," he continued, making sure that they didn't interrupt him. "I said that I knew they weren't friends and just asked him to turn down the murder-vibes around me…Then he said that Keats "betrayed" him and that he did "some things" to him, but he wasn't specific, he said he didn't want to put me off him because I deserved to be happy. Then we made a deal that I'd tell him if "anything" happened as long as he didn't flip out and get expelled. Then he said he didn't start it and that he didn't know what was going on blah blah blah…and I asked him how it felt when he found out about Keats and Sebastian, and he said it didn't really bother him because Nick and Sebastian had slept together."

"I don't blame him," interrupted Santana whilst the other girls raised their eyebrows in shocked surprise. "That guy has one hot body and he's-" Kurt held up a hand.

"Santana, please, whatever the two of you have gotten up to, keep it to yourselves, alright? I do not need anymore emotionally scarring images." Santana rolled her eyes, sipping her drink with seductive eyes whilst Kurt just shook his head and looked away.

"Then we were interrupted by the guys starting a snowball fight, and that's about it, really. We didn't have time to go out with exams and my crazy practise schedule, but it's okay. I think what happened to Blaine was really bad because Daniel - one of the Trinity guys - said that Blaine had had a really good term and Juri said that Blaine was terrified during the Autumn term last year and when I asked he got really angry and said that he never wanted to talk about it before storming away…" Kurt shrugged. "I kissed Keats goodbye and then my term ended." he shrugged again.

"It sounds like there's a lot of drama," said Rachel after a long pause. "You'd think, with it being all boys and all, that there might be less." Kurt snorted, shaking his head.

"Nope, Dalton seems to have a thriving homosexual population that don't have a problem causing lots of drama." he grinned.

"So, anymore gossip?" Kurt considered the question before deciding that he might as well tell them about Charles' sister.

"Well, Charles has a sister there, and it sounds like they come from a really messed up family…" with that intriguing sentence Kurt was off, explaining all that Elise had told him.

Oh god, I have missed gossiping with the girls. I can't really do this with any of the guys at Dalton - Elise is really the only person I've found who's like that - but I need my regular dosage of gossip otherwise I'll end up crazier than Trinity…and that would be quite the achievement….

---

Blaine rubbed his eyes as he made his way down the stairs of their large, suburban, house. His father had originally bought the house to make the transition the boys had to make between Ohio and Chicago easier; a surprisingly kind gesture that proved that - if you conformed to his understanding of normality - he could be a perfectly loving father. However, after the arrival of Emily, and then Anna and Meg, it had become home, as opposed to the prison that Cooper saw.

Blaine yawned widely as he lurched to his seat at the circular breakfast table. There was no rule that governed who sat where, but at the same time no one bothered to disturb the routine that Elliot Anderson had accustomed himself to.

"Tired?" asked Emily, a little redundantly as Blaine could barely nod in agreement. She sighed, patting his curls and pouring him coffee.

"Wasn't a fun road trip." he grumbled thickly, and Anna giggled at him from behind the cereal box. Blaine attempted to give her a glare, but his eyes were too crusted up with sleep for it to be affective.

"Your brother left yesterday," said Emily in a slightly constricted voice. "apparently his friends in New York City are more important than us." Blaine didn't even bother sighing; he hadn't expected anything less from his childish older sibling. He knew that, from Emily's tense posture, she also knew that there was no coincidence between Cooper leaving as Blaine arrived.

"Sorry," he mumbled out, and Emily shook her head.

"It's not your fault sweetheart," but Blaine could hear the missing phrase at the end. The "but you shouldn't have said what you did" that Emily didn't add because she was too nice, and Anna was present. Instead she gave him some toast, and Blaine bit into it enthusiastically. Emily shook her head at the way his eyes brightened as he alternated between eating and drinking, and Anna watched him with inquisitive eyes. Blaine knew some form of interrogation was coming - Anna was remarkably manipulative for an eight year old - and Emily seemed to have noticed too as she sat down whilst giving him a sympathetic look.

Luckily for Blaine's brain, Anna had the decency to let him finish two caffeinated drinks before beginning her questioning.

"Blaine," she began in a hushed voice. "what you shouted at daddy, was it true?" Blaine felt his heart clench, and he looked at Emily for support, an unhappy look crossing her features. He desperately communicated with her using his eyes

"What do I say?" he demanded frantically, and she gave the unhelpful response of "I don't know" by shrugging.

Blaine and Emily had never come up with a definitive plan of what to tell Anna and Meg when they reached the inquisitive yet innocent age that Anna had now attained. Blaine had no plans of turning the girls against dad - an ass he could be, but deep beneath the layers of anger, disgust, frustration and hurt, Blaine knew his dad had the power to be a good father, especially to Anna and Meg. No, Blaine couldn't ruin their father to her, but at the same time Blaine couldn't just lie to her…she'd never forgive him…

"Blaine?" Anna was looking in hurt-confusion at her half-brother who appeared to be ignoring her.

"Sorry Anna," he said, faking a smile. "it's just not as easy to answer as you might think." Anna frowned at him in confusion.

"But it's the truth." she argued simply, with a deep frown. "Surely one of you is right, and the other is wrong?" Blaine chuckled, darkly, shaking his head.

"No, it's more complicated than that."

"How?" Blaine glanced at Emily, seeking approval before continuing. Emily nodded, giving him a reassuring smile. He returned it with the faintest flicker of the right corner of his mouth.

"Well," he said, turning back to Anna. "it's like this…" he paused, and searched for a simple analogy. Emily cleared her throat, drawing Blaine's attention to her, and gestured her head between Anna and the empty seat next to her. Blaine felt a grin creep onto his face and shot her a silent "thanks". "remember when you and Meg had that bad fight?" Anna nodded.

"Yeah, mummy almost grounded me!" Blaine nodded, still smiling a little.

"That's right, and you remember that you said that you hated her?" Anna nodded, looking truly ashamed.

"Yes."

"Well, you know that's a lie, but in that moment it felt true." Anna nodded again, this time slowly in comprehension.

"So, daddy does love you!" she squealed excitedly. Blaine sighed, lowering his head. Anna was old enough to know that the constant bickering was a bad thing, and what it was about, but was too young to understand why.

"Anna," said Emily in a low voice, taking in Blaine's suddenly haggard face. "I think that's enough questions. Why don't we take something up for Meg?" Anna obediently hopped up. Emily patted his back as Blaine groaned and sunk his head against the table.

Damn life! It was a whole lot more complicated than that, and he reckoned that Anna knew that, but that, right now, she was just a scared kid wanting her family to stay together, and, well, Blaine could empathise. He'd been like that - both him and Cooper in fact - when Emily had first appeared in their lives. He'd been desperately waiting for their mother to come back with only the scarf, a fragment of melody and a story to remember her love. He never really thought about her now, but something in what Anna had said had come as a sharp reminder.

To Meg, Blaine was her brother and dad was her dad; simple. To Anna, Blaine was her half-brother and dad was her dad; not quite so simple. What it really meant, though, was that their dad ranked above Blaine in Anna's family, and, therefore, Blaine was more likely to be at fault than dad.

"Blaine," Emily was back in the kitchen, sitting down next to him.

"How's Meg?" he asked, raising his head from the table.

"She's fast asleep, poor thing, and she's still pretty hot." Blaine nodded, and then lapsed into an awkward silence.

"Emily, I-"

"Look, Blaine-" They grinned at each other, and Blaine sighed.

"Why do I get the impression that you're going to use your authority as an adult to speak first?" Emily gasped in mock hurt before chuckling.

"You're right, I am, but I really just wanted to thank you." Blaine frowned at her.

"Why?" Emily sighed.

"Because Anna's a smart kid, and she knows that there's more, but you gave her piece of mind. Anna's a worrier, we both know that, and the last thing she needs is to be stressing over our family situation." Blaine shrugged.

"I don't want Anna mad at dad." he explained, addressing the unspoken part of the conversation; why Blaine chose to say what he did over a whole host of more honest things.

"I see…" said Emily, but there was still a questioning tone to her voice.

"I just- I know that dad loves them, and I don't want her to doubt that. When I-" his throat closed over, and he swallowed heavily.

"I know what you're going to say." murmured Emily, and Blaine sighed in relief. The attempted suicide was a difficult topic to discuss in their house, but Emily always seemed to know when he was trying to talk about it. She had moved her hands to encase his, and he took a moment to collect himself.

"I just- one of the things that pushed me over the edge was feeling that I had no family. Dad was mad at me, Cooper was away, Anna and Meg were too young to understand, and you were so busy trying to keep it all together that I just felt so alone…I never want them to feel like that so I guess I just want them to have a good relationship with everyone. To always know that there's someone else out there for them to go to." Emily got to her feet, soft smile in place and kissed his curls.

"You're such a good kid, Blaine," she said, and Blaine smiled up at her.

"Thank you."

"That's a simple truth." she said with a grin that Blaine returned. "Now, go get a shower, honey, and make sure Anna gets one too." Blaine gave her a salute.

"Yes ma'am." Emily laughed, and shook her head at his antics. Blaine, smile in place, left the room and climbed the stairs, moving quietly along to Meg's room. He opened the door, and saw Anna mopping her brow.

"I don't think she's that sick." he commented and Anna shrugged.

"She said she felt ill…I shouldn't have made her play in the snow." Blaine shook his head, and walked over to her side, and lifted her up.

"It's not your fault," he said as she shrieked and kicked her legs.

"Put me down!" she exclaimed, and Blaine just carried her out of the room.

"Shower, now, little girl."

"I'm not little!" she said indignantly, kicking his shins. Blaine continued to laugh at her, though, as he put down his little sister. It was true that she wasn't that little - reaching his chest - but he loved teasing her about it.

"Just go get showered, and then come to my room." he said, pushing her towards her room. When he was sure that she was going to actually shower, he proceeded back down the hall into his room. They all had en-suite bathrooms, and Blaine flipped on the shower, and pulled a fluffy bathmat from the rail, and laid it on the floor.

The room began to fill with steam as Blaine pulled off his sweaty pyjamas, and stepped into the shower. Just like always the warm water combined with a talk with Emily calmed him down, and reassured him that his extended family really cared. He felt the water wash over him, and resolved to spend every day - except the two he was going to Garth's - with Anna and his family.

Anna had been really upset when he had said he'd had to go away in the summer, but there had been absolutely no way that Blaine could say no to going to Barcelona… Barcelona. He had had to go after what had happened, but he'd also promised that he'd teach Anna to play the guitar, which never happened. He didn't exactly regret his decision; that month and a half in Spain had been one of the best of his life and Daley had been so happy Blaine had actually wondered whether he was on drugs (he wasn't thank god), but Anna had been really pissed off, and she hadn't quite forgiven him either. Then again, she might still have been fuming from Christmas that year when he'd spent approximately four days at home - including when he'd gone to see Garth - and the rest at Dalton.

He opened the door to his room, and he almost dropped the towel that was wrapped around his waist. Anna was standing there, somehow already dressed in jeans and a woolly turtleneck jumper that Blaine was sure had once been his. Her hair was soaked and messy. She raised he eyebrows at his nakedness, and the blush now on his face.

"Err, could you turn around? Dad'd kill me if I emotionally traumatised you, again." Anna rolled her eyes, but obediently turned away. Blaine yanked on his pants as quickly as he could, and pulled a blue polo neck over his still slightly wet muscles. "You can turn around now." he called as he searched for a pair of thick socks. "What do you want to do?" he asked. Anna frowned at him.

"What do you mean?" she asked, sitting down on the bed and curling up her legs.

"Well, we are hanging out together this holiday." Anna frowned at him some more.

"That's what you said in the summer." she said with a pout. Blaine sighed, both at her tone of voice and his inability to find some socks (if Cooper had taken them Blaine would kill him) and sat down on the bed, and leaned against the large pillows.

"Look, I know you don't get why I had to go to Barcelona, but when you get a little older - so I won't get murdered by our parents - I'll tell you everything." Anna looked up at him, judging the truth of his words.

"You mean it? We can hang out?" Blaine nodded.

"Sure, every day, except when I got to see Garth." Anna nodded in understanding.

"Of course." Blaine smiled down at her.

"So…what do you want to do first?" Anna shuffled around, and then pulled a comb from up her sleeve. Blaine snorted as she waggled it in front of his face. Blaine took it and began to brush out her tangled hair.

"Will you plait it?" she asked, and Blaine nodded and "mmhmmed" in agreement. "and will you sing a Christmas song?"

"Of course, got any particular preferences?" Anna shrugged.

"I don't know…something happy."

"Something happy…" pondered Blaine, still pulling the comb through her hair and frowning. Of late, Blaine had found Christmas a depressing time, and suddenly found that he couldn't quite thing of a cheerful song.

"Blaine…" whinged Anna, not doubt because the water was dribbling down the neck, and Anna wasn't the most patient of people at the best of times.

"Okay, okay, I have a song, and try and sit still." Anna huffed, and rolled her eyes, but waited, almost patiently, for Blaine to start.

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

At the Christmas party hop

He was so used to singing with some form of accompaniment, be it himself on the piano or guitar, or the whole of the Warblers, that his voice sounded very strange on it's own, and he had to try much harder to stay in tune at the beginning.

Mistletoe hung where you can see

Ev'ry couple tries to stop

There was also a distinct lack of pulse that made the whole song sound a little flat, not quite the cheerful thing he was meant to be singing, and he tried to inject a lilt to the way he sung.

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

Let the Christmas Spirit ring

Later we'll have some pumpkin pie

And we'll do some carolling

Anna began to clap along, and he heard Emily's footsteps pause to listen to him sing, and he found himself beginning to relax. Coming home was always a stressful thing; the nine hour drive, and then the family tension, but there was the possibility to be joyous - if he worked just a little bit harder.

You will get a sentimental feeling

When you hear voices singing

"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly"

He raised his voice higher than he had previously, letting it sound through their overly quiet house, and remind them that Christmas, a time of joy, was actually on it's way. It wasn't particularly easy to be joyous in their house - it seemed to remind their father of the original meaning of the word "gay" - but Emily loved to decorate the house, and for Meg and Anna it was very much about getting presents, and food, and snow, and the tree.

It was all fun and games for them, but for Blaine it was about how he couldn't go to Church anymore because the congregation had turned on him, and last year he'd had to climb out of the window and run to Reverend Arnold's house to begin to feel some sort of forgiveness. Blaine hadn't mentioned it to Kurt, mainly because it just wasn't the kind of thing he'd told anyone - only Sebastian knew - but Blaine considered the fact that he'd tried to commit suicide a sin.

He wasn't overly religious, and - mainly because of Reverend Arnold - he didn't consider the fact that he was gay a sin, but he did believe in God and that what must happen happens. He didn't really tell people because they kind of found it weird, and, again, only Sebastian knew that the last thing that Blaine had done before he'd taken the pills was pray, and he hoped to keep it that way.

So, he kept on singing, and let his hands fall into a regular pattern as he weaved the stands of his sister's hair together, and he did what he did best - even better than his brother, Cooper, who got paid to do it - acted.

You will get a sentimental feeling

When you hear voices singing

"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly"

Anna joined in for the last line. Her voice naturally merry, and, though she wasn't as talented as either of her brothers, she still had a good voice.

Rocking around the Christmas Tree

Have a happy holiday

Everyone's dancing merrily

In a new old fashioned way

They finished the song together, Blaine tying the end of her plait with a hair band that had been wound around the handle of the comb, and had flicked it into her face, causing her to swat at the air around her in an annoyed fashion. Blaine had his chin resting on her small shoulder, and Anna was laughing ever so slightly.

It was a completely peaceful moment. Anna was leaning back into his chest, and Blaine wrapped his arms around her. They were all affectionate children, but Blaine more so than the others because when he'd needed the most comfort - after mum had left - no one had bothered to hug him; that was why he'd slept with his mother's scarf.

"Blaine Anderson!" the calm was shattered by the angry cry of their father, and Blaine felt his spine straighten in horror. He'd thought he was at work! Why was he at home?

"Dad!" he exclaimed, as Elliot Anderson stormed into the room looking furious. "What are you doing here? Why aren't you at work?"

"In case you hadn't noticed your sister is sick!" Blaine blinked; his dad had stayed home for Meg? A surge of jealousy crept through him at that thought - his dad had never stayed with Blaine at home, even their first winter when Blaine had had to go to hospital because he had pneumonia.

"I know." he said, as calmly as he could, forcing down the pointless emotions that were running through him.

"Then you should know to keep it down! She needs to sleep off the fever, and she can't do that with you screeching away!" Blaine swallowed, hands balling into fists.

"I wasn't "screeching" as you said, dad." he retorted, sliding off the bed, and coming to stare up at his father. "I was singing, because Anna asked me to." There was a pause as everyone waited for Anna to speak.

"I did." she piped up, looking nervously between them. "I asked for him to sing something cheerful to me whilst he did my hair." Blaine wanted to sink his head into his hand. Anna may have gotten him out of the frying pan, but she'd just thrown him straight into the fire with her comment about the hair dressing.

"Blaine, my office, now." Blaine sighed, and rolled his eyes. He turned to Anna as his dad stomped away. Anna bit her lip.

"Sorry," she apologised. Blaine shrugged, and then shook his head.

"You go find something you want to do, and I'll see you in a minute." he gave her a small smile, and, as he turned away, muttered to himself; "if I ever make it out alive."

Blaine made his way up the stairs that led to the loft that contained his father's study, and his parents' bedroom. He knocked on the door, even though he was expected, because years of yelling had taught him never to enter until his dad said he could.

"Come in." his father called, and Blaine opened the door, entered the room, closed the door, and sat down in one of the chairs that his dad had placed in front of his desk. "Blaine," he said, fixing him with an intent stare. "we need to talk," Blaine nodded, because God, that was an understatement. "about your future." Blaine blinked in shock.

"Err…what?" his father sighed, placing his clasped hands on the desk, and giving his son a piercing stare.

"Blaine, you're part way through your penultimate year, you need to think about college, properly. I will not allow you to waste your future like Cooper, and I will not allow you to disgrace us again." Blaine swallowed, not really sure what to say to his father.

"Um…okay…" his father shook his head, clearly frustrated with how slow his son was being.

"You need to stop messing around, Blaine, and you need to stop dreaming." And that was when Blaine understood what his dad was getting at; he needed to stop being a Warbler, work harder at his academics and do some good in sport.

"Dad, look…"

"No, Blaine, I've listened to your excuses-" Lie, went Blaine's mind because his dad never listened to him. "-and I've decided, after seeing you perform, that this singing, and prancing has done nothing for academic work, or your performance on the sports pitch."

"But, the dancing has-"

"Blaine!" Blaine snapped his mouth shut at the raised tone of his voice. "You will do as I say, and you will be quiet." Blaine nodded, mutely, feeling stupid. His father shook his head, frown on his face as if trying to regain his train of thought. "I have let your…tendencies slide because it could garner you…credit, but what have you achieved?" Blaine didn't say anything, until he realised that, actually, his dad wanted him to talk now.

"Well, I'm a lead Warbler…we won Sec-"

"You drew Sectionals." snapped his father. "You drew against a public school." Blaine rolled his eyes, and his father slammed his fist down onto the table.

"Do not roll your eyes at me, Blaine! I have paid for your education because you weren't enough of a man to go back to your old school, and I was alright to do it because you had a scholarship - and a merit based scholarship will look good on your applications - but now…" he let the sentence trail off ominously.

"I saw you at that concert, you sung well - your mother would have been proud no doubt-" Blaine jerked his head up at the unexpected praise, and the mention of his mum. "-but I am not your mother, Blaine, and I do not tolerate the kind of people you are associating with; the frivolous way of life will ruin you, and us." He got to his feet, and began to pace the sparsely decorated office. Blaine followed him with wide eyes, and a fiercely beating heart.

"You know, I'm getting less and less business now that people know my son is advertising "credit " by singing…it's not what people expect of me; they think that I dance around and sing, and that's not what they want - not what they need." He turned his firm eyes on his son. "Your head is filled with nonsense, Blaine, and you can't be what you want! You have to be what is needed, and I need a son - a man. Your brother, whilst he'll no doubt sire a herd of prancing children, is a lost cause. Pull yourself together, win something, or you'll find yourself back at your old high school for your senior year, you're dismissed."

Blaine stared at his father, horror seeping through his body uncontrollably, before he bolted to his feet and dashed back down the stairs. He ignored Anna, who was down stairs in the living room, and dashed straight into his bathroom, snatching up his iPod as he went. He slammed the door shut, and locked it. He sat down on the toilet, crossing his legs, jamming the headphones into his hears. He clicked onto one of his play lists, and turned the volume up as loud as it would go as the opening to All Fall Down began to play.

He had thought that, maybe, the solo and the concert would have changed things, but Blaine had just made things worse. He had thought that his dad might be more open minded when he saw Blaine ranged amongst such talent, but he wasn't Now, unless by some miracle they won Regionals, he was going to be pulled out of Dalton…

The selfish part of Blaine that really meant was his father's son wanted to blame Kurt for all of this. He knew that it wasn't Kurt's fault - God only knew that Kurt had been through his own kind of hell, but Blaine hadn't realised how important that scholarship was until he'd lost it…

He didn't know what to do with himself. He was just doing what he was best at. He was doing the only thing that might give him good "credit". His football - both kinds - were going well, he'd started a fight club, he fenced…what more could his father ask for him? The best hope that he had of winning lay in singing. Why couldn't he see that this was what made him happy?

But that was just it, Blaine didn't deserve to be happy. Blaine reckoned that if he had "manned-up" and taken the abuse he had at his old school his dad might have been slightly more accepting. It was about giving his father a "legacy" that he could be proud of. It was about Blaine being selfless, and doing what his father wanted - but Blaine's eyes had been opened. He'd experienced such happiness at Dalton, and such acceptance, and such hope that Blaine couldn't sacrifice. He could "give up" his scholarship, but he couldn't give up who he was.

Blaine bowed his head, remembering the tears in Daley's eyes when they sang All Fall Down to him. The silent promise that however low any of them sunk, the rest would be there to pull them back up;

..."Never give up, Daley, okay? You have to promise me that you'll never give up because it all comes to an end, eventually…And this pain that you're feeling; it'll pass…I promise…"...

That's what Sebastian had said. Sebastian who could be so pessimistic that Blaine just wanted to slap him. Blaine could call him. Blaine could talk to him. Sebastian would be there for him, but…

Maybe it wasn't his choice to make. Maybe he should listen to his father for a change. Blaine blocked him out - metaphorically stuck his fingers in his ears and went "la la la" - but maybe it was time to pay attention to the stuff in between the lines. He didn't have to not be gay, but he didn't have to do what he wanted with his career. He could be a lawyer; Sebastian would say that he was a pushover, but Blaine knew that he didn't have to be a barrister, he could be another kind. He could do it…

He wiped his eyes, pulling out one of the ear buds, and taking a deep breath. He could get through this holiday. He could make it through the holidays. He could do this. He could do it because he'd had worse. He'd fallen all the way to the bottom, and he was climbing up…

---

I thought, maybe because we're so close in school, that I'd hear from the other boys, but with the exception of Trinity, Keats and, occasionally, Juri, I haven't heard a thing from any of them. Blaine hasn't replied to my e-mail, and it's honestly depressing how no one else will. Juri's replies are sporadic, and Keats' are vague…It's like no one wants to talk to me now that we're out of Dalton… So, to distract myself from the depressing nature of all that, I've taken to decorating the house for Christmas, unfortunately I only have Finn for help…

"Come on, Finn!" he said, attempting to string up some Christmas lights to the front of the house, but needed the height of his gigantor of a step-brother. He could hear Finn stomping around, and grumbling about tangles in the cables.

"Gimme a sec!" he called back, halfway into their house, and Kurt rolled his eyes, letting his tired arms drop down to his side, and the string of lights to flop into the soft snow that still coated Lima. He pulled the hat from his hair, and smoothed over his hair as he stepped back inside.

"What did you do to them?" he demanded, noticing that Finn seemed to have managed to have become encased in the lights. Finn attempted to glare up at him, but ended up looking like he was somewhere between baffled and offended.

"They attacked me!" he snapped back, pouting, and Kurt just laughed, picking his way past him towards the kitchen to get another cup of coffee.

"Yes," he said, refilling his cup, and shedding his outermost layers. "the inanimate objects ganged up on you, and took you out." Finn just continued to glare at him as he got to his feet, and shook off the Christmas lights as best he could.

"Give me a break." he said. "I lugged the tree all the way from the lot, my back aches." Kurt rolled his eyes, but was secretly glad that Finn hadn't asked for Kurt's help carrying the thing; he'd have gotten pine needles in his hair and all over his clothes.

"Well, I appreciate that, Finn, but not everyone can be as tall as you."

"I wish they were." he muttered in annoyance, and Kurt laughed, taking pity on him, and beginning to disentangle him from the lights. Finn stood still, with remarkable patience, and then leapt away from the lights a moment too soon. His feet were still entangled, and he smashed his face into the hallway floor. There was a tense silence.

"Finn?" asked Kurt, tentatively, face screwed up in a wince, and dropping the lights he was holding. He waited for the taller boy to groan, and, as Kurt was kneeling down in worry, he heard the delayed moan.

"Oww…" he said, rolling over, and Kurt saw that some blood was beginning to trickle from his nose. Rolling his eyes, he pulled the lights from Finn's feet, and helped him up. Several weeks of being Juri's roommate had taught Kurt a thing or two about first aid; namely checking for mild concussion. He helped Finn into the kitchen, ignoring his grumbling, and found some tissue for him to hold to his nose. He then pulled out his phone, and shone the screen light into his brother's eyes. Finn's pupils dilated and he swatted Kurt away.

"Man, what are you doing?" he demanded, thickly, and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Checking for concussion, you banged your head hard." Finn rubbed the tender spot on his forehead, and blinked, labouredly.

"Yeah, it hurts."

"Take that away from your nose." said Kurt, pulling away the tissue, and examining Finn's nose. The flow of blood seemed to be stopping, and, whilst it looked a little redder, it wasn't obviously crooked or out of place so that was a good thing. "I think you just need some ice." said Kurt, opening the freezer whilst Finn continued to groan and grumble. "Here."

"Thanks." Finn took the ice cubes that Kurt had wrapped in a tea towel, and pressed them to his nose, wincing in pain. Kurt eyed him critically.

"Is the pain bad?" he asked, and Finn shrugged.

"I'll just take some paracetamol, I should be fine." Kurt opened one of the cupboards and pulled a small pack out, and then some arnica. He handed it wordlessly to Finn who popped two and swallowed them without any water. He squirted a bit of cream onto his finger, and dapped it onto the bruise that was forming on the side of Finn's head.

He stepped back a little, when he was done, and carefully examined his emotional state because, a year ago, he'd have been reduced to a puddle of overexcited emotional goo if he'd touched Finn like that, but now he felt nothing, but worry, exasperation and a little bit of humour. It was what he needed to help him follow through with his conviction to give up on Blaine, to get over the dazzling Warbler. He just needed to remember Finn, and the way all those feelings had translated themselves into a brotherly affection.

"Can you breathe properly?" asked Kurt, snapping himself away from his own thoughts, and Finn shrugged.

"It's a bit painful…but I'm okay." Kurt looked up at him, and gave him a small smirk.

"So, have we learnt our lesson today?" he questioned. Finn glared at him, as best he could, and made his way to the sofa, collapsing down onto it. Kurt, knowing there was hope for the decorating now that he'd lost his human ladder, reeled in the lights and slammed the door closed. He flopped down on the sofa next to Finn, and turned to see what was one. To his surprise Finn was on a channel showing re-runs of Voices of the Woods.

It might have been Kurt's imagination, but since he'd met five of David's step-parents, they seemed to be turning up everywhere. The day after the concert he'd turned on the radio only to hear Rosanne Watters' new number one single - Lift Me - being played across four different stations, and downstairs some boys had got hold of fashion catalogue - no doubt to ogle the models rather than admire the clothes - and he'd looked over their shoulders and seen Katelyn Slade posing with an umbrella. Then they'd been watching the TV in the common room, and an interview with Craig Malloy had revealed that he was going to be guest starring regularly in the next series of Heartbreak High: 2nd generation, whilst also working on a new Tim Burton movie. Now, a programme that Kurt had half watched as a child about a group of puppet woodlands animals that made the names of both Serian Clifford and Todd Sommers, was being played at Christmas.

"What the hell?" demanded Finn, staring as Marty the Squirrel - surprise, surprise voiced by Todd Sommers - attempted to woo Chelsea the Squirrel - voiced by, you guessed it, Serina Clifford - with a ring of acorns that he was sitting in. Kurt shook his head.

"No idea." he said, still shaking his head in a bemused fashion. "I have absolutely no idea." Finn flicked up the information, and read the description;

Marty continues to pursue Chelsea whilst Aidan gets a taste of his own medicine…

"I thought this was a kids programme." he said, voice now baffled, and Kurt shrugged, half watching Aidan the Owl have his nest filled with wood shavings by a pack of mice, who seemed to want to suffocate him.

"It is a kids programme," said Kurt, starting to realise that it was quite different to how he remembered it as a child, as Marty the Squirrel ran around with his tail firmly in the air, showing off his butt to the entire world.

"I'm freaked out." said Finn, changing channel as Chelsea leapt onto Marty's back, and Kurt hoped that he hadn't just watched squirrel porn. They continued to flick around until Kurt jabbed Finn's arm to make him stop. Finn raised his eyebrows in shock.

"...look, I get it, we've been through a ton of shit together, and we're, like, bonded, or whatever, but blood is everything…I'd do anything to have grandparents!" Kurt and Finn exchanged raised eyebrows at the episode of Chokehold that was playing. The ten friends, all looking worn out, were standing before the imposing structure of Colston, and Donna - played by Jenny Crowe - was gesticulating wildly, blonde hair flying. "…don't turn your back on them for something like me…" There was a moment of pause before David's mum's character - Violet - gave an indignant snort.

"But if you "got it" you'd understand! Blood isn't everything, it's love! We didn't fly to LA because you were nothing, don't you get it? You aren't broken - not to us. Look at us, we're all broken, every fucking human being is messed up! The only difference is that we can accept that…and the fact is - even though when I first came here I hated your guts, and I still can't stand your music tastes - I'd rather have you over her." The characters on screen shared looks of understanding, and a montage of footage from season one's prank war, their first time all together, Eileen's party and the following series of pain and heartbreak occurred.

"That is odd." said Finn, staring at the TV screen and blinking. Kurt didn't disagree, but he did turn the volume up as he watched Manuel and Keith kiss - he shipped those two hard; curse the writers and their desire for realism, the two were meant to be - and Finn shrugged, and settled back, clearly amazed to see a group of people whose problems were more convoluted than the New Directions.

The two of them then decided that, because it was cold outside and Finn was injured and Kurt just felt lazy, they were going to have a TV marathon. Kurt put on the popcorn, and Finn found some chocolate, and dragged some blankets down from upstairs, and they lay back, arguing in a good natured fashion over what they should watch. Kurt was all pumped to watch all five series, and seven specials, of Chokehold, but, unsurprisingly, Finn had never seen it all before, probably only catching the last special, like Kurt had. Except, unlike Finn, Kurt had then decided to go back and watch the rest.

Eventually, after some tugging of the remote, and Finn dripping the wet tea towel over them both, they decided to watch Heartbreak High. It was an odd show, but they both liked the second generation version that had started a little while ago. Finn had then admitted he'd never seen all of the original series, and, in Kurt's eyes, that was a crime against television, and insisted that they had to watch it all, and that watching second generation wasn't half as good if you hadn't seen the original show.

Heartbreak High was exactly what it said on the tin; a drama about a bunch of High School kids who continually broke each other's hearts by getting involved in love triangles, squares, circles and any other kind of two dimensional shape one would care to think of. The thing that made it stand out, though, was the class of acting. Craig Malloy, who played an angst ridden Sophomore in the first series who was destined to never graduate, was so convincing that, when the Geography teacher he'd fallen into lust with him gently let him down, it never failed to reduce Kurt to tears as he watched the heartbroken expression on his face, and how he wept for what, he felt, was the end of his life.

No character was likeable, either. Louis Sullivan - Craig's character - had obsessive tendencies that meant he stalked women, and had come close to sexually assaulting them, but Kurt loved him dearly as a person because, peel back the layers, he was so soft and vulnerable and confused. His dad, when Kurt had explained this to him, had commented that he sounded like an orange, and the idea had stuck with him ever since so that, sometimes, he found himself randomly giggling at the teenager who carried a knife in his pocket.

It often reminded Kurt of McKinley when he watched it, and it was shows like these that had helped him hold his head up a little bit higher. There was gay character on the show, and he had the crap beaten out of him all the time, and, as the storylines were based off a survey taken by high school students over on the west coast, it reminded him he wasn't alone. (Kurt was also sure that this was where they got the idea of locking people in port-a-potties came from, but he tended to ignore that). This show had also convinced him, at one point, that he was living in some weird version of The Truman Show because his life was so like a TV programme at times it was unreal - especially since he joined the Glee club.

The one thing that had actually seemed to not fit with the idea that his life was a TV show had been his dad. Sure, Kurt knew his dad hadn't been thrilled when he'd found out that Kurt was gay, but he'd never said a bad word about Kurt, and he tried to stand up for him. Watching all the other programmes, though, was depressing because the dad's of the gay kids were all-American men who hated the idea of a gay son, and it was one of the things that had made him terrified of coming out - the beginning of Chokehold series two had been enough to emotionally scar him for good, and, also, it made it impossible for him to see good things.

That was a reason that he liked Chokehold and HH. They might have had bad (terrible) relationships with their parents (Chokehold series two), but they always seemed to find good friends. It was one thing that had made him set his sighs so firmly on college because people in college were open minded and liberal, mostly. Still, the ending of HH, the original series, had brought him to tears, especially when one of the bullies got stabbed for Arthur - the gay character - and died. He hadn't exactly done it out of the goodness of his heart, but he had been seeking penance because he'd just beaten the crap out of his girlfriend and realised the…okay, it was complicated, but after that people had treated Arthur differently because they'd seen that had to have been something in him worth saving, and him and Louis had been on-and-off friends for the past two series.

Finn was surprisingly good company to watch TV with. He asked questions quite a bit, but that was only if he didn't quite get what was going on, and most of the time it was because you weren't meant to get what was going on and if Kurt told him it would ruin the plot. Other than that, he sat in silence and laughed at the right moments - both because of the characters and the comments Kurt made - and even let out a couple of gasps, the loudest when Stacey revealed, shockingly, that she was blacking mailing Lloyd into tell her parents that she was pregnant so that they could stay together, and Lloyd wouldn't go out with Mandy like he wanted to, even though Mandy and Josh were an item, and the blackmail material was that Lloyd had slept with one of the teachers.

I never thought me and Finn could do this…We're actually watching TV together, fighting over popcorn, and sharing a blanket…it's just crazy…my relationship with him is just moving so fast…Some times I forget that we use to not talk - that was I in love with me, and that I was furious with him because we can actually be such good friends…It's mind boggling…I guess I don't need TV to show that progress can be made…I have my own proof, and he's fast asleep on my sofa, sharing his duvet with me, with a swollen nose that's dripping water, and almost resting his head on my shoulder…Inspiring…

---

Blaine rubbed his hands, which were cold despite wearing woolly gloves, together. He pulled the hat down over his ears, and watched his footing on the icy pavement. The wind was fierce, and he cursed the fact that Emily had to work otherwise he could have had a lift. His nose had lost all feeling, and his cheeks stung when he was hit by a snowball hurled by Lucas. The snot-nosed six-but-now-eight year old shot him a superior smirk, and Blaine wanted to hurl some snow back at him because his cheeks were still stinging, but his dad was watching from the window.

"Blaine?" a shovel was dropped, and Blaine broke into a grin at the sight of the old man dressed in a dark brown overcoat, waterproof trousers and wellies who was staring at him.

"Reverend!" he cried, breaking into a run. It was a foolish thing to do, and Blaine slipped and went tumbling to the floor, face planted into the freshly shovelled snow. He let out an "oof" a couple of seconds after he ought to have, and he could feel his face freezing.

"Blaine? Blaine, are you okay?" Blaine prised his face from the snow, and blinked up into a wrinkled, concerned face, that two blue eyes shone from in an astute manner.

"Um…I'm-"

"Blaine!" A front door opened and there was the sound of pounding feet. He was pulled up, and he grinned at the boy who sported a crew cut and heavy black eyebrows and was staring into his pink cheeks and snow-covered face.

"Oz." he said, a little breathlessly. He was then pulled into a tight hug. Oscar was wearing a hand knitted sweater that was soft and warm, and Blaine pressed his face against his shoulder. Oscar stood head and shoulders above Blaine, literally, so his shoulder was always on a good level for Blaine to get comfort and safety from.

"Boys," they broke apart, and looked at Reverend Arnold who was giving them both a very steady look. He was retired, he'd taken quite a bit of heat for his surprisingly liberal views, but he often looked after Garth when no one else could, and was often regarded at the Maddison's private Father. "you need to go inside, before someone looses their toes." Blaine looked down at Oscar's feet and saw that he had nothing on.

"Oscar!" he exclaimed, and shooed him back into the house as Oscar continued to laugh loudly at the scandalised expression that had appeared on Blaine's face.

"Blaine," said Arnold, catching his arm. "how are you?" Blaine shrugged, not really sure. He'd avoided his dad successfully for the past couple of days, and busied himself with teaching Anna to play the guitar and piano so that he didn't have to think about it all. Sebastian had been emailing him constantly, but Blaine didn't have the heart to make Sebastian's holiday, which had so far almost landed him in hospital twice because his cousins hated him, worse.

"I don't know." he admitted, shrugging once more. "Things with dad aren't good, but…something happened with Cooper…it's odd…" Arnold nodded, picking up his shovel, and giving him an appraising look.

"I heard you have a boyfriend." Blaine nodded, knowing that Emily must have told him.

"Yeah, Sebastian." the kindly reverend nodded at him, clearly deep in thought.

"And are you happy and safe?" Blaine nodded, firmly. Arnold narrowed his eyes slightly. "I was led to believe that this…boy had a slightly…" he paused, clearly searching for the right word to put into context what he said. "promiscuous nature." Blaine snorted under his breath at that, never thinking he'd hear a man of God say the word "promiscuous" - ha, that's another bet he'd won against Drew.

"It's okay," he said, dragging his mind away from the ridiculous series of bets that they'd made about what they could get religious people to say. "Sebastian would never pressure me…" he shivered, inadvertently, and the Father looked at him with an almost imperceptible frown.

"Your friend? Barcelona?" he questioned, and Blaine nodded. He'd been almost completely honest about why he'd jetted off last Summer with Oscar and Reverend Arnold, almost. "I see, well, God bless and keep you, Blaine. I pray for you everyday." Blaine smiled at him.

"And I you." with a final smile he bounded up the steps and into the Maddison's house that was tall, and narrow. It was cramped and dark in the hallway and Blaine squinted through the unnatural darkness at the figure of Oscar on the bottom of the stairs.

"Sorry, the light bulb blew, and we haven't got round to replacing it." Blaine just shrugged and took off his shoes and outer layer.

"Oz, are you sure that your parents aren't going to turn up?" Oscar managed to give him a condescending look through the gloom.

"Blaine, do you really think I would have invited you if I thought there was the slightest possibility that you'd run into each other?" Blaine sighed, and then shook his head. Garth and Oscar's dad leaping at him in fury was forever going to be engrained into his mind. Blaine wasn't sure he'd still be around if Oscar hadn't bundled him out of the house, and into the rev's next door.

"How's college?" he asked, changing topic as they quietly tread their way up the stairs and into the light. Oscar shrugged.

"I dunno…okay, I guess…not much happening really." he turned to Blaine as they got onto the landing, raising an eyebrow slightly. "But, come on, we both know that it's you we need to talk about. Emily told me some very interesting stories." Blaine rolled his eyes as he slipped into Oscar's room.

"If you're going to be shocked about me asking out Sebastian I'll punch you."

"Yeah, right." snorted Oscar, and flicked on the light. Blaine blinked in shock as he looked around Oscar's sea-green bedroom that looked much barer than it use to be. The posters of rock bands; Metallica, AC/DC and such, were gone. The pictures had been packed away. The army men that had been hanging from the ceiling were gone too, as were the model planes.

"What happened?" demanded Blaine, looking around, shocked to see the change. Oscar rolled his eyes, collapsing down onto his Star Wars bed sheets and the bed groaned.

"Mum made me do it…she said that it might "upset" Garth…" he rolled his eyes. Blaine pulled out the computer chair and sat down, frowning in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Oscar sat up, crossing his legs and resting his elbows on his knees.

"Garth's memory it's spotty, and it's not coming back…Mum doesn't want it to…she thinks all my stuff…" he waved his hand vaguely around the room. "will remind him of it all…" he shrugged, and Blaine swallowed heavily.

"We can play in Oscar's room…he has such cool stuff…trust me…"

"Zap! Zap!"

"Hey, no fair, you got the fighter jet!"

"Die Voldermort!"

Blaine tried to hide the smile as he remembered the days when he used to play in Oscar's room after school with Garth. Garth had been such a strange person; he lived in a glass closet, but at the same time he was so far in he'd found Narnia. He was still very much a geeky ten year old, and him and Blaine had spent their time fighting with Nerf guns, toy soldiers and sticks as wands.

"Oh, I have something for you." he reached under the mattress and pulled a set of small notepads. Blaine let out a snort of laughter as he wheeled himself closer, realising what they were…

Garth Maddison and Blaine Anderson's Amazing Flipbook

…was written on the top of each, and they all portrayed people getting murdered in extremely cartoonish ways. He picked up the top one and flicked through, watching their old maths teacher be impaled by a minus sign, have a multiplying sign decapitate him and for the divide sign to smash into his face. He laughed. Garth had drawn all the cartoons, but it was Blaine who had come up with the ideas.

"You can keep them." Blaine looked up at him in surprise. Oscar shrugged. "My parents keep throwing stuff out. I'll just keep the one where you murder me, though." Blaine laughed, and nodded, pocketing the notebooks with a grateful grin.

"Thanks." Oscar shrugged, and then grinned at Blaine.

"You know, I do believe that you asked Sebastian out; I mean, you asked out Garth." Blaine went pink, remembering his crush on Garth. He nodded, feeling guilty, and Oscar patted his arm. "It's okay, Blaine, we've been through this." Blaine nodded, swallowing, and then brightening at the sound of Garth's voice shouting through the house.

"Oz! Oz!" Oscar leapt up from the bed, and beckoned Blaine with his head.

"What's up, kid?" he asked, dashing into Garth's room. Blaine followed, and was assaulted by a bright colour. He always forgot that his room had been changed from a navy colour to a sky blue. It was filled with toys, and it was padded and protected.

"Hungry." he said, blinking slowly. Oscar nodded just as slowly, and beckoned for Blaine to sit down.

"Okay, I'll leave with my friend, Blaine." Blaine winced at that. He loved Oscar to the bottom of his heart, the guy had looked out for Blaine as well as Garth, but it always hurt that he had to pretend that he hadn't known Garth. "You remember him?" Garth looked at him, eyes ever so slightly glazed. Then he nodded.

"Singing man." he said, simply, and Oscar nodded.

"Yeah, how's your head?"

"Good." Oscar nodded slowly again.

"Well, that's good, I'll get food, and Blaine can sing for you, sound good?" Garth nodded, and Blaine took a deep breath as Oscar fetched him Caroline's guitar. "Have fun, don't sing anything too, you know…" Blaine nodded in understanding, and Oscar breathed out heavily, leaving the room. Blaine settled down, and looked into Garth's face.

It was hard. It never got better. Shining out of his eyes was a kid. He was happy, carefree, and he didn't remember Blaine because that kept him safe. A part of Blaine wanted to bolt from the house, down the street and just keep running because it was so wrong to look into his face and see someone his own age, but who was so…innocent. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, and tentatively began to play.

Shipwreck in a sea of faces

There's a dreamy world up there

Dear friends in higher places

Carry me away from here

He looked back down into his eyes, letting all the old feelings come back out as he stared into a pair of sea green eyes that used to be capable of stopping his heart with a simple glance. The heavy eyebrows that used to quirk and make his mind spin. The small, delicate, lips that smiled so easily at whatever Blaine said, and made the sun come out. It was all there. All the same, but so very, very, different…

Travel light, let the sun eclipse you

'Cause your flight is about to leave

And there's more to this brave adventure

Than you'd ever believe

It may not appear it on a first meeting, but Garth was the dreamer of the two of them. Blaine might have sung and danced, but it was Garth's head that was in clouds. Garth that spouted random sci-fi quotes. Garth that could see the bright future. Garth that could see the way out when Blaine got bogged down in day to day life. Garth that believed that there was something more for them out there. Believed that they were special…

Birdseye view, awake the stars 'cause they're all around you

Wide eyes will always brighten the blue

Chase your dreams, and remember me, sweet bravery

'Cause after all those wings will take you up so high

Sometimes Blaine wondered whether Garth was really happy, and that, if he was, Blaine was just being selfish to want him back. He wondered whether, deep inside Garth's mind, it made him happy to just never know who he was, and that if he could ever actually build a normal life on top of it.

So bid the forest floor goodbye

As you race the wind and take to the sky

You take to the sky...

He wondered whether, if he could act his age, and still not remember what had happened, he'd still be happy? He could go on, live his life, and Blaine knew that Garth would have done amazing things with his life he'd had a chance to live it properly.

He wondered if he - Blaine - could keep on doing this. Could he keep coming back to him? Every time he was sure that Garth didn't know who he was at first sight. He certainly never seemed to remember his name, and, sure, Blaine sang to Garth every time so "singing man" wasn't inaccurate, but he just wished he could be more. Oscar, Caroline…he remembered them both fully. He knew that Caroline's parents were dead, even though it happened in the year he'd blocked out…

It was just Blaine…just high school…just life that hadn't gone well that was gone…Which made him want to cry because Garth had been Blaine's guiding light, but Garth had wiped Blaine because it was too painful to remember him…Blaine couldn't even begin to describe how much that had hurt.

There's a realm above the trees

Where the lost are finally found

Touch your feathers to the breeze

And leave the ground

Oscar tiptoed back into the room, tray of food, and smiled at the sight. Blaine might think that Garth had forgotten him, but Oscar could see what only an older brother could. That look in Garth's eyes every time Blaine sang, a happy light, a hopeful thing…Garth had loved to hear Blaine sing, said it sounded like hope, and it was still there…He might not remember Blaine, but he remembered his voice, and how that made him feel.

Birdseye view, awake the stars 'cause they're all around you

Wide eyes will always brighten the blue

Chase your dreams, and remember me, sweet bravery

'Cause after all those wings will take you up so high

He settled down on a chair, and used the underside to give Blaine a beat. Blaine looked at him, and his eyes lit up because this was something they used to do all the time. Something that Garth had loved. Oscar never sung, unless he was drunk, but he did have a wide grin, and Blaine just felt lighter.

So bid the forest floor goodbye

As you race the wind and take to the sky

You take to the sky

Blaine hoped that, somewhere inside of Garth's mind, he'd managed to plant a small seed of hope. Make him think that anything was possible again, give him some kind of encouragement to do anything. It was Christmas, after all, and Garth would enjoy himself, and maybe Blaine could start feeling a small feeling of redemption…maybe…

You take to the sky

There was a silence. Garth stayed focused on them just long enough to give him a brief smile, and clap his hands together before he moved onto food, which was far more captivating than Blaine. That was a big difference between the two Garth's; the one that he knew had always forgotten to eat if he got distracted enough.

"Come with me," said Oscar, beckoning Blaine down to the kitchen. Blaine nodded and followed Oscar down the stairs, knowing that Garth got kind of fussy about people watching him eat. Oscar held the silence between them in such a manner that Blaine knew that he had done something wrong. His hands went to the notebooks in his pocket. They were still friends.

The kitchen was lighter, and Blaine leant against a work surface, facing Oscar who was busy knocking back a can of beer. It could have been Blaine's imagination, but he thought that Oscar drank a bit more than he used to. Blaine got it, dealing with Garth was no doubt stressful, but Oscar had abhorred alcohol unless they were celebrating, and Blaine didn't think that there was anything to celebrate.

The door slammed, though, before Oscar could say anything to Blaine, and he could hear the faint sound of Caroline stumbling around as she tried to get her things out of harm's way. Oscar clamped his mouth shut, gave Blaine a pointed look that Blaine had no idea how to interpret, and then moved to the doorway.

"Caz, Blaine's in the kitchen!" he called. There was a stumble, a mild curse, and then his name was yelled in a high pitch tone of voice, and he barely had time to see Oscar darting out of the way before Caroline had thrown her arms around him.

"Hi Caz." he said, stumbling backwards a little bit. "Nice to see you too." The gangly twelve year old disentangled herself from him, and took a step back grinning.

"It's so nice to see you, Blaine, after all, I missed you in the summer." Blaine nodded.

"Yeah, I guess that's true."

"Why weren't you shovelling the snow for the rev?" asked Oscar, leaning casually against the countertop. Caroline rolled her eyes, hopping on a chair to retrieve a thermos from one of the cupboards.

"I was going to, but Aggie turned up and you know what Arnold's like, he insisted that I go with her, said he was fine." she leapt back off the chair, wobbled, and then grinned up at Blaine. "Have you sung to Garth yet?" she asked, as she unscrewed the lid and poured herself some hot chocolate. Blaine nodded as his nostrils were filled with the warm scent. "Oh…" she said, sighing and dropping her shoulders. "I wanted to hear that. What did you sing?"

"To the Sky, Owl City." Caroline's face dropped into an instant frown.

"Is that a good idea?" she questioned, and Blaine copied her facial expression, confusion sparking inside of him.

"Huh? Why wouldn't it be?" Caroline sighed, glancing at Oscar who purposefully trained his eyes onto Blaine.

"Well, you know, it's all about…breaking free and all…aren't you encouraging him to remember?" Blaine opened his mouth, faltered, and then returned to staring at her in confusion.

"I guess…" he said, slowly. "but," he shrugged. "it's not that much…I mean, it's kind of subtle, right?" Caroline gave him a very sharp looking, suddenly looking far older than twelve.

"Blaine, I know that you want him to remember you, but you can't force it upon him like that! It's not good for him!" Caroline turned to Oscar as Blaine gaped, feeling confused and upset, and slowly swivelled his head to the older Maddison. Oscar braced the counter top, and gave Blaine a piercing look.

"Caz is right, Blaine. You're not allowed to do that, remember? You can't force these kind of things upon Garth! Remember the wall."

"Walls can come down."

"Not this one, Blaine. This wall stays. No questions." There was something deadened in his voice that made him frown, but Caroline just smiled, pecked them both on the cheeks and dashed up the stairs.

"Oz!" exclaimed Blaine, feeling displaced and put upon. Why was Oscar having a go at him like that? Oscar wanted Garth to get his memories back just as much as Blaine. Oscar held up his hands, put up a finger for silence, and beckoned Blaine closer when he heard Caz chattering to Garth.

"Sorry, B, had to tow the company line," Blaine blinked at him, brows creasing further. Oscar rolled his eyes. "Caz, well, Caz trusts mum and dad…she buys their crap. Doesn't realise that they're making things worse." Blaine's eyebrows shot upwards, and his mouth dropped open.

"Oz, what are you saying?" Oscar took in a large breath, and then beckoned Blaine a little bit closer so that their foreheads were almost touching.

"That this house is killing him!" Blaine was pretty sure that his eyes couldn't get wider, and he thought that his heart was beating faster than was normal for having a conversation with Oscar.

"Oz, what-"

"Let me finish," he said, flapping his hands around and almost smacking Blaine. "mum and dad are… they're stifling him! They're treating him like he's actually five or something! They're never going to let him remember! I'm worried about him! And I want-" he broke off, dropping his voice even more. "I want to get him out of here!" Blaine was sure he'd misheard.

"Excuse me?" he demanded, mind spinning dangerously towards the self-destruct part when he was completely baffled by a situation. Oscar rolled his eyes, and took a deep breath.

"I want to take Garth to my apartment." Blaine blinked at him.

"You have an apartment?" Oscar rolled his eyes again.

"Well, it's Mae's apartment, but that's not the point." Blaine blinked.

"You're back together with Mae?" Oscar grabbed Blaine's head and actually shook it. Blaine stumbled and flailed his arms.

"Not the most important thing, B! I'm saying that me and Mae have been back together for a little while, and, whilst mum and dad did throw some stuff out, I've been moving my things to hers, and I want to take Garth with me!" Blaine gaped at him, mouth just getting wider.

"You what?" There was a moment of silence in which Blaine saw that Oscar was completely serious, and that he was doing this whether or not Blaine thought it was a good idea, and that what he really wanted was for Blaine to give him some support, to help him plan. "Mae's okay with this?" Oscar nodded.

"She agrees with me; her older sister is a therapist." Blaine exhaled heavily, thinking it all through carefully.

"Okay, what do you need me to do?"

---

It's getting to me more and more. The guys just don't want to talk to me! I'm still getting sporadic mails from Juri, but he's little brother's sick, or something, and his sister things that he's "wicked" - not sure what that's meant to mean - and so he's busy. Trinity have filled my inbox with weird photos of cats, snow and them…I'm not really sure what to think…Looks like they're having fun, though… Obviously, Keats has been in touch, and he tells me that he misses me, but he doesn't want to talk about what he's doing, or how things with his dad are…No one else, though. Blaine doesn't want to, or any of my other Warbler friends…

"Mornin' Kurt," said Finn, sleepily as he traipsed into the kitchen. Kurt was busy reading his exam results at the table, carefully examining the mark schemes for the different tests, and feeling quite pleased with himself.

"It's almost the afternoon," he replied, without looking up, and Finn shrugged, ruffling up his hair and opening the fridge.

"Ah, well, I totally destroyed Puck on Halo, so…time well spent." he shrugged, again, picking out the milk cartoon.

"Get a cup," said Kurt without looking up, flipping over a page and frowning at his chemistry test results. "and then put it back in the fridge." Finn grunted in response, and then moved to sit next to Kurt, looking over his shoulder.

"Those your results?" he questioned, and Kurt nodded. "How did you do?" Kurt shrugged.

"Good, I guess…" Finn frowned at him, clearly asking what "good, I guess" meant, and Kurt sighed. He shoved the document towards Finn.

"This is my mark," he said, indicating to the first column. "this is the average, and that is the highest mark." he indicated to the next two columns. "So, you'll see that I got below average in most of my exams."

"Not in French," pointed out Finn, and Kurt nodded. "you're, like, 6% off the top mark; that's pretty impressive."

"Yes, it is, at least I passed everything."

"Kurt, you got, like, in the seventies in everything-"

"Not History or Maths." Finn glared at him, but then carried on talking like he hadn't been interrupted.

"-and you, like, missed loads of the work and all. Man, I'd kill for results like that!" he slapped Kurt on the back, rather harder than was necessary, but Kurt appreciated the gesture.

He supposed that he had got very good grades, but he was used to his marks being higher, and so it was a little bit of a let down to see the little, printed 68% for Maths, and, worse of all, 62% for History. Though, looking at the average, he saw that that was the only one in the seventies; 76%, and that no one had got in the nineties, the highest mark being 89%, and guessed that that probably had a lot more to do with Mrs Daniels than it did anything else.

There was a little note from Hammonds attached his marks, commending his achievements and telling him not to be discouraged in any way. Hammonds also complimented his singing in the Carol Service, and made, what looked like, a congratulations for getting together with Keats, and "putting that dreadful incident with Charles behind" him. Hammonds hadn't exactly said "well done for getting a boyfriend", he probably wasn't allowed to, but it was there, in between the lines, and Kurt appreciated the thought.

"How are you going to celebrate?" Finn was back at the table, this time with a bowl of cereal that was drowning in milk, and stared at Kurt with wide eyes as he stuffed his spoon into his mouth. Kurt considered the question, he hadn't really thought about celebrating, but suddenly the idea was quite appealing.

"Well, I've been meaning to go shopping for Christmas presents…" he trailed off, considering the time and wondering if any of the girls would be up for it. Finn stared at him with wide eyes.

"But, man, shopping is torture!" Kurt chuckled to himself, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, how typically male." he said, airily, gathering the papers together. Finn grunted out a response, stuffing more food into his mouth, and Kurt just shook his head in disapproval as he pulled out his phone and texted Mercedes.

Fancy a shopping trip?-K

His phone buzzed back almost instantly, and Kurt eagerly looked at the message, only to feel a surge of disappointment.

Love 2 but have 2 c my grandparents! Already in car there, sorry!-M

Kurt sighed, and then texted both Rachel and Tina, asking them the same thing as Finn gulped down the milk in the bowl, wiped away the white moustache and moved over to the sink.

Sorry, Kurt, I'm out with my dads-R

Ah, why didn't u text me yesterday? Could have saved me from my aunts!-T

Kurt chortled and rolled his eyes at Tina's message, and tucked his phone away. He'd have to think of another celebration because, yes, shopping was fun, but Kurt didn't really feel like going on his own. He turned around, about to suggest that he and Finn have another TV marathon, when Finn spoke.

"Hey, if you do go to the mall will you get my aunt a present? Mum told me I have to buy for her this year, but I have, like, zero ideas." Kurt's eyes went wide. The situation wasn't ideal, obviously because it was Finn, but Finn also needed to go shopping.

"How about you come with me?" Finn's mouth dropped open, and his eyes went comically wide. He began to impersonate a fish with a great deal of earnest before finding his voice.

"I-I don't know, Kurt, I mean you love shopping, I hate it…I'm seeing a conflict…" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Come on, Finn, have you bought your mum a Christmas present yet?" Finn stared at him, half glaring, but also half guilty looking.

"Oh alright."

"Yes!" Kurt spun around, smirking to himself in victory. "Give me twenty minutes to get ready!" he called, hurrying towards his room, and almost laughed at Finn's loud groan.

Kurt found that, actually, he was down in ten minutes, having only needed to select a coat, scarf and boots. Finn was already waiting for him, gillet and trainers on and stuffing his hands into gloves that looked like they might be too small for him.

"Can I drive?" he asked, immediately, and Kurt just glared at him.

"I heard all about the postman incident, Finn," he said in response, opening the front door. "and there's ice on the roads. I'd rather not get in a car crash." Finn grumbled, but climbed into the passenger seat of his own car regardless, Kurt's Navigator was inconveniently still at Dalton.

Kurt started the car, and Finn began to fiddle with the radio. Kurt eyed what he was doing, but just let him be until Nickelback came blasting out of the speakers.

She was just a woman

Never again...

"Christ, Finn!" resettling in his seat, and adjusting his grip on the wheel after he'd leapt up in the air in shock. "Turn that down!" Finn grinned at him, but obediently twisted the dial down, and Kurt realised then Finn had a CD playing. He groaned, about to comment on Finn's choice of band when Finn suddenly turned the music up as the song changed;

Never made it as a wise man

I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing

Tired of living like a blind man

I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling

"I love this song!" he shouted, banging his head enthusiastically along to the beat.

And this is how you remind me

Finn began to play air guitar, grinning at Kurt who rolled his eyes and shook his head, knowing that he wasn't going to get much out of Finn now.

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

He did a long drum roll in the air, throwing his head from side to side, and Kurt just gaped at him as he opened his mouth, tipping his head back, to belt out the chorus;

It's not like you to say sorry

I was waiting on a different story

This time I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart worth breaking

His singing was different to when Kurt had last heard him; it was rugged, rough, and he was close to shouting, but Kurt knew that it was spontaneous, he wasn't thinking about it at all, and that it was coming from deep down within him. Kurt felt his head moving along to the beat despite himself.

And I've been wrong, I've been down

Been to the bottom of every bottle

These five words in my head

Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

Suddenly Kurt realised that he was singing about Rachel, and her screwing with his head, but didn't think that Finn really knew that as he continued to pound the air with his fists. It was like he'd instantly connected with the song, but Kurt reckoned that he hadn't thought about it too much.

Yeah, yeah, yeah

No, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah

No, no

It's not like you didn't know that

I said I love you and I swear I still do

And it must have been so bad

'Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

Kurt joined Finn on the next verse, and Finn shot him a smile that almost said "told you so". Kurt never quite got used to singing with a low voice, but it sounded pretty cool with Finn's. They'd never really done a duet together, and Kurt realised that they'd definitely missed a trick.

And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am…

It was funny how natural it felt to just belt out lyrics alongside each other in the car. There was a warmth, not just coming from the car heating, but also inside of Kurt at the simplicity of it all. How they felt like brothers. It was different to when he'd sung with Keats, but surprisingly similar at the same time. He'd felt kind of light headed and giggly around Keats, but with Finn there was a sort of…strength to their voices, no doubt partly created because Finn could actually sing, unlike Keats.

Still, Kurt just felt secure in the song, with their voices, in the car. He almost couldn't believe that he had been stupid enough to chase after Finn's love, with all the problems and doubts and mistakes that occurred in that territory, when he could have been his friend, his brother, instead.

Never made it as a wise man

The backing dropped away, and Finn's voice fell to a quiet whisper, grinning at Kurt, who fully appreciated the joke as Finn would never, ever, make it as any kind of wise man - unless it was wisdom about messing up relationships or putting your foot in your mouth because Finn was good at that.

I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing

Kurt sang back in a kind of reply to Finn, swaying his head from side to side, and focusing his eyes on the road in front of him whilst allowing his mind to wander off onto other things. Strangely enough it made him think of him and Blaine; Kurt stealing Blaine's scholarship because he couldn't afford Dalton.

And this is how you remind me

Finn sang back to him, his voice slightly louder and tilting his head back against the headrest, glancing at Kurt with a relaxed grin.

This is how you remind me

Kurt pulled the car into stop at the lights as he sang his answer, and was given time to laugh at Finn's overenthusiastic air-drumming before he had to drive off again.

This is how you remind me

Of what I really am

They joined back in, voices charging through the lyrics together. They weren't exactly singing loudly, but their voices were strong together. Their voices were charged and Kurt was surprised that Finn could overpower him whilst they were singing.

It's not like you to say sorry

I was waiting on a different story

This time I'm mistaken

For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down

Been to the bottom of every bottle

These five words in my head

Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

The two of them were basically shouting at the top of their voices. They were screaming out the words, vaguely in tune to the song, drowning out the sound of the CD, but it wasn't like they cared at all about that. There were no worries as long as the track was playing

Yeah, yeah

Are we having fun yet?

Yeah, yeah

No, no

"Woah!" said Finn, face completely flushed and Kurt couldn't imagine that he looked much better. "That was epic, dude, we have to do that more often!" Kurt nodded, reaching forward to turn down the volume.

"Yeah, we do sound good together." Finn let out a laugh and ran a hand down his face.

"I feel loads better," he said, in a mildly surprised voice. "Like, I was really tense, and I now I'm just…" he blew all the air out of his cheeks, unable to find the word.

"I think I'll choose the next song," said Kurt with a grin, turning on the radio.

"Sure thing, bro." Kurt found a station that was playing the beginning of Wizzard's I Wish It Could be Christmas Everyday. They shared grins, and began to sing straight away;

When the snowman brings the snow…

They went for the rest of the journey singing Christmas songs along with the radio. Kurt parked their car and then the shopping trip really began. Finn was not a patient shopping companion and became antsy very quickly when Kurt wanted to look at clothes and bags, but when Kurt made the mistake of letting Finn stray into video games shop it took twenty minutes of fruitless tugging and name-calling, coupled with the promise of food, to get him away from them.

After Finn had been filled with food that Kurt would rather starve than eat, he seemed to gain some form of intent and quickly dashed around to buy his aunt some nice china plates and picking up on Kurt's "subtle" hints for what clothes he wanted to buy. It was kind of fun, watching Finn's baffled face as he tried to pick out some clothes for his mum, and the hour in which they traipsed around bought presents for their family passed quickly, and, all to soon, Finn lost his enthusiasm and began to lag behind again.

"Come on, Finn." Kurt walked a little faster, and Finn rolled his eyes and trailed his step-brother through the shopping centre, seemingly weighed down by the different bags that he was carrying.

"Kurt, man, I'm tired, can't we stop for food?" Kurt turned around, arching an eyebrow imperiously, and put his hands on his hips.

"We stopped an hour ago, Finn! You don't need food every hour, right?" Finn groaned and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I'm burning it all off." he grumbled, and Kurt just shook his head, eyes scanning the mall for the appropriate place to buy his boyfriend a gift. Now that Kurt stopped and thought about it, he didn't know that much about Keats. His knowledge extended as far as; he's good at English, and he likes Busted and the Backstreet Boys, that was it. Oh, and he liked Supernatural…but that wasn't enough to go on - not by a long shot, and Finn was no help because they didn't seem to have many common interests.

"Something wrong?" asked Finn, coming to a stop next to Kurt, and almost dropping the bag that contained some dinnerware for Finn's aunt. Kurt sighed, and tugged his scarf open around his neck.

"I don't know what to get Keats." he said in a frustrated voice. Finn frowned, and looked around, biting his lip.

"Does he have a favourite band?" he asked. Kurt didn't even bother turning his head to glare at him.

"Finn we're dating. Would you have bought Rachel or Quinn a CD?" Finn sighed, and shook his head.

"No, definitely not…does he have any hobbies?" Kurt shrugged, frowning.

"He writes…I think…"

"Well…that's…helpful…" Kurt snorted, rolling his eyes, and shaking his head as he began to find the whole situation just plain amusing.

Who would have guessed that I'd be shopping for my boyfriend's Christmas present with Finn Hudson as my step-brother…If anyone had said that last year I'd have adamantly said that my boyfriend wouldn't be anybody but said Finn Hudson…funny how the times change…

"Yeah…are you going to buy Rachel anything?" Kurt pulled himself from his thoughts as he asked the question and moved over to a seat so that they could rest their legs. He heard Finn give a long sigh as he trailed his step-brother.

"I don't know…I mean, I broke up with her so…" he frowned, looking confused, and Kurt nodded, understanding what was puzzling him.

"Yeah, that's a little awkward." Finn hummed in agreement, and sat down, carefully placing the bags on the floor so as not to break anything.

"I guess I could get her a small token, but…" he shrugged, still looking a touch awkward. "I'm still kind of mad with her for what she did with Puck…" he shrugged again, not looking Kurt in the eye. "I mean, it's not that messed up that I still love her, but I don't think I can forgive her, not yet." Kurt shrugged.

"Of course, wasn't actually asking you to." Finn nodded, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Well, if he writes," he said, expertly steering the conversation from his entangled love life. "maybe you could get him a pen, or something…?" Kurt blinked, and then did a mental double take.

Wait, was that a genuine suggestion?

"Finn…" he said, in a voice of genuine wonder, staring at the boy who had been unable to think of a gift for his own mother, but was spouting proper ones for Kurt's boyfriend. "That's…not stupid." Finn looked at him in confusion.

"Okay?" Kurt shook his head, getting to his feet. "Hey, where are you going?" Kurt turned on the ball of his right foot, and raised an eyebrow.

"Weren't you just complaining about how you needed a break? I'm going to go and look for a pen whilst you sit here and look after the bags." Finn blinked and then nodded.

"Okay, how long will you be gone?" Kurt shrugged.

"I don't know…give me twenty minutes to have a look around, and then I'll come back for you." Finn nodded, stretching and leaning back, looking ready to fall asleep. "Don't fall asleep." he warned, threatening glare in place. Finn held up his hands in surrender.

"I won't, I swear." Kurt, chuckling to himself, turned back away from his brother, heading for a stationary shop a little way away. He knew that a pen wasn't the most original thing, but at the same time it was the best suggestion he'd heard. The problem was that he just didn't know that much about his tastes, or anything…

He grumbled to himself in annoyance. When had it all become this complicated? Sure, High School had never been a walk in the park - it never was - but there was a line that Kurt would have been prepared to draw that separated normal from crazy, and he was willing to bet that he'd crossed from one side to the other when he put his name on that sign up sheet at the beginning of Sophomore year.

He stepped into the shop, glancing around the milling people with thick winter coats and were hurriedly looking at the different notepads and cards in the store. Kurt stepped towards the display of pens, and noted that many of them were rather tacky looking; fake quills and biros that had sparkly cases so that someone could charge an extra ten dollars, or whatever.

He let out a frustrated sigh, and moved towards the more expensive looking fountain pens in the display cabinet that was locked. He pulled his brows down into a frown as he considered the problem that he was facing. Keats was his boyfriend; Kurt cared very deeply for him, and he relied on him and trusted him, but…Kurt wasn't madly in love with him - and he got the impression that Keats didn't feel that way about him either - so how much was Kurt meant to spend on him?

"Kurt?" Kurt almost clattered into a swivel stand with cards promoting season's greetings at the voice that he heard. He spun around, heart beating fast, and stared at the tall, broad, boy that stood before him, looking a little startled and surprised.

"Karofsky." he said, taking a deep breath, and trying to step back, but was backed against the glass fronted cabinet. He could feel his heartbeat racing a little, and he tried to remember that he was in a crowded place and so Karofsky wouldn't dare hurt him; right?

"Can I help you?" he asked, a little awkwardly, and Kurt just stared at him, mind on halt, in confusion. Then his eyes travelled to his shirt and the badge that was pinned there. "Hi, my name is Dave. How can I help?"

"You work here?" demanded Kurt, straightening up at that piece of welcome news. Karofsky shifted, and then looked left and right.

"Yeah." he said in a dark voice. "Dad made me get a part time job, said that I should…that he thought hanging around the Footballers was a bad influence." Kurt raised an eyebrow imperiously.

"Well they are." he said, maybe a touch coolly. "Your dad- he didn't seem to have a problem with me being gay…?" Dave shifted uncomfortably, and looked around.

"Will you keep it down?" he demanded in annoyance. "Do you have to broadcast to the whole world that you're…you know?" Kurt just stared at him, feeling startlingly impassive in the situation because he held the power over Karofsky. If he so much as took another step towards him, Kurt could scream and alert the whole shop.

"I'm not ashamed of who I am, Karofsky, and you shouldn't be either." There was a heavy pause after that, and Karofsky continued to glare at him.

"Yeah, well, no one cares what you think, you're just a…a fairy."

"And you think people actually care about what you think? Azimo's so slow that he couldn't understand what you said, and everyone else only listens because they're terrified that you're going to beat the living crap out of them! Is that what you want? To go around and have everyone hate you just because you're too scared to admit who you really are?" Kurt wasn't sure why he was trying to appeal to Dave's better nature, but Karofsky had come to speak to him, instead of hiding away. That had to mean something, right? Also, he was in a stationary shop at Christmas, it was jam packed full of families; he was safe.

"Back off." snapped Karofsky, his eyes darkening, and Kurt swallowed heavily, not letting himself being intimidated.

"No," he said calmly. "because you started this conversation by coming over. What did you want?" Karofksy stared down at him, trying to get Kurt to back down, but Kurt just stayed, staring at his former bully.

"What's it like at Dalton?" he asked, spitting out the name of Kurt's new school as if it was laced with poison. Kurt pulled himself up to his full height, and glared at him.

"It's wonderful. If you'd kissed me there, you'd have been expelled." Karofsky went pale white, and glanced around in horror.

"Would you shut up!" he took a step forward, and Kurt collided with the cabinet, shoulders smacking painfully into the glass.

"Is there a problem?" both teenagers jumped as the manager appeared from nowhere over Dave's shoulder.

"No, sir." said Dave, and the manager, whose label read "Graham", looked between them in confusion.

"Do you, um, know each other?" he asked, hesitantly, clearly picking up on the tension. There was a pause. Karofsky and Kurt made cautious eye contact before nodding. "Right, well, why don't you take this outside? You're worrying the customers." The two boys looked around, and noticed that they had managed to attract the attention of several shoppers, no doubt because of him backing into a glass fronted cabinet.

"Yes sir." Karofsky stepped back and beckoned for Kurt to follow him. Kurt stepped out of the front entrance, and looked around. He could see Finn, slumped on the bench surrounded by bags, and looking in the opposite direction. Kurt took in a sharp breath as Karofsky stepped away in the other direction, and wondered whether he could call out to Finn, but the white cord of the headphone's dashed Kurt's hopes. Karofsky gave him a come or else look, and whilst he couldn't hurt Kurt himself, he could certainly do damage to the New Directions, and Kurt wasn't going to let anyone else get beaten up by Karofsky in his name.

"How do you know I'd get expelled?" he demanded, and Kurt was thrown by the question that he just stared blankly at him. They'd come to a stop inside the empty men's room, and Kurt could hear the faintest sound of passers-by going along in the corridor outside.

"Um…you're not the only arsehole in the world." Kurt knew he was pushing his luck, toeing a very thin line that could, potentially, result in Karofsky hitting him, or kissing him…for some reason Kurt wasn't sure which one was worse. Karofsky's face kept distorting and contorting strangely.

"I bet you love it there, don't you? All of you, you're fairies." Kurt rolled his eyes.

"What point are you making?" he demanded because he was in no mood for games. No mood for pretending to care why. He just wanted to go back to Finn and shopping.

"I couldn't breathe!" exclaimed Karfosky, suddenly. "I thought- if you went away…but it's the same! I can't breathe!" He clenched his hands into fists, and pressed them up against his forehead. Kurt dropped his brow into a frown, and stared at the tense, powder-keg, that was Karofsky. He was spark away from a huge explosion, and Kurt suddenly understood; in Karofsky's eyes Kurt was the only person that could help, he was the only one who knew the truth, and, deep down, Karofsky trusted him to keep it that way.

Kurt took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to forget that he'd told Blaine, a fact that would definitely lead to Karofsky exploding in a violent manner, and wondering just how messed up was the situation that he was the only person who could help his bully, and Kurt guessed he felt like that it was his obligation - as someone who had been scared and closeted - to help him. Karofsky was gay, and something Blaine had told him floated to the front of his mind;

…"…Kurt, being gay is not easy…Keats, Charles and I are all proof of that."…

It was something Kurt had already known, had always known, but there had been something in the way Blaine had said it. They way he'd been able to tick off three people - including himself - that had had it worse that Kurt, and Kurt could see that, in a way, what Karofsky was going through was almost worse than what Kurt had because…Karofsky hated himself, and Kurt loved himself, and that made all the difference in the world.

"Look, Karofsky," he said, softly and gently because Karofsky not a stable person or that reasonable. Karofsky's head, which had been hidden behind his hands, jerked upwards. Kurt tried, and failed, to give him a smile. "it's-" he broke off, trying to find the right words. "You need help." he said finally, shrugging. Karofsky opened his mouth. "Not from me, though. I- I can't help, not really, 'cause I don't understand what you're going through. I can't understand why you hate yourself so much, and I can't fix something when I don't know how it got broken. Understand?"

"I can't." said Karofsky, voice taut and tight, and constricted by all the emotions that he was fighting everyday.

"Look, I know that you're scared…Now that I'm not around to bully you can't just shrug off your sexuality the way used to, but," his face dropped into a frown suddenly. "if you were bullying me as a release, why couldn't you breathe?" Kurt looked into eyes that were filled with a desperate glint, and saw that, somewhere in there, Karofsky knew. He knew everything, but he was too scared to admit it. So it was up to Kurt to call him out, again.

Kurt tried to think logically, and rationally, and not panic about the unusual lack of people in the toilet because that was just so not a good idea. When had he felt like he couldn't breathe? When had he felt something weighing down on him so much that he just needed to vent, just needed a release. When had he ever tried to push something away because he couldn't deal with it, or because he couldn't control, and he knew it was never going to happen.

And it was as he thought through all of those things, and his mind brought him back to the same thing, that he finally understood what Karofsky had been trying to say - what he almost should have really already known - and he felt his heart plummet.

"You like me?" he asked, voice breathless, mouth dry and whole being just begging for the answer to be no. "You actually like me? You still like me, and the feeling's not going away, and-" Kurt broke off, understanding rushing through him. "You want me, and when you finally figured it out you couldn't deal with it and so pushed me around and away and made sure no one - not even yourself - would consider the idea! And when you kissed that was just you being angry, and wanting me to shut up, and you not being able to say you were gay out loud, or just wanting to know for sure if you were gay, but…that was something you'd wanted to do for a long time…"

A heavy silence hung over them. Kurt's heart was thumping, painfully hard, in his chest. He was frightened beyond belief, but there was also a dead weight sinking inside of him. A sort of…sadness was settling down on his insides because no one had ever wanted him before…not even his relationship with Keats really classified as that… He was also dead scared because Karofsky looked like he could just flip out at any second.

"Kurt, you- you like me too, right?" Kurt stared at Karofsky in opened mouthed shock. He wasn't sure what shocked him more; him openly acknowledging his sexuality like that, or he thought that there was any possibility his feelings were reciprocated.

"What?" he eventually questioned. "What could have possibly given you that idea?" Karofsky stared at him, eyes impossibly wide.

"You didn't tell."

"Because I don't believe in outing people! I might have been terrified of you killing me, but I wasn't going to out you!"

"You really thought I was going to kill you?" Kurt stared at Karofsky incredulously, not sure whether that question had really needed to be asked.

"Yes I believed you! I was meant to believe you!" Karofsky took a step towards Kurt, and then faltered.

"But I-I thought that you'd maybe- I thought you knew I wouldn't hurt you." Kurt let out a noise someone between disbelief and frustration.

"You don't understand! You may not have physically harmed me, but you emotionally traumatised me! I had to run for my life! When I got to Dalton, was it easy? No! I was on edge, I was mistrustful, and when some other fucking guy decided to kiss me in the locker rooms he was expelled and I finally, finally, felt safe! But you know what, that other guy had his reasons! He was a kid whose parents messed him up, but you- you just did it because you're a scared, selfish, little boy!"

Kurt didn't know what had happened, but he just felt all his anger at Karofsky explode out of him, just like in the locker rooms. He was angry with Karofsky for being stupid and thinking that Kurt could possibly like him, and he was angry because Karofsky was making him feel guilty when Karofsky had no right to make him feel guilty after he had threatened Kurt's life. Kurt knew that exploding like that was what had tipped Karofsky over the edge the first place. He knew that he'd just done something incredibly stupid, but he almost couldn't bring himself to care. He'd been feeling upset since he realised none of the Dalton boys wanted to talk to him, and this had been the perfect release.

He suddenly knew that the smartest thing that he could do in this situation was to just walk away. Kurt was no help to Karofsky whilst he was angry and tired, and Kurt was endangering himself by staying in the bathroom. There was something wrong, people should be coming in and out, and Kurt didn't want to spend another minute around Karofsky. Kurt might feel sorry for him, and, now, be worried about his dangerously unstable emotional state, but he needed to be safe.

He put his hands up in the gesture of a surrender, and, stupidly, turned his back on Karofsky. He barely took half a step forward before Karofsky had grabbed him by the shoulder, and spun him around. Kurt's lower back collided, painfully, with the edge of the sink counter. He threw his arms out, wide, exposing his chest, to steady himself. Karofsky stood over him, fist raised, and, as Kurt breathed shallowly and heavily, a tense silence descended upon them.

Kurt wasn't sure what was going to happen to him, whether Karofsky was going to actually punch Kurt this time, or just kiss him again. He tightened his grip on the counter top, and just waited for whatever blow, physical or emotional, to descend upon him. He tried not to panic, and he tried not to wonder, and he tried, really tried, to stay calm.

"Just fucking shut up!" yelled Karofsky, his fist lowering. "Why don't you ever shut up?" Kurt paused for a second, before giving a reply in a low, calm, voice.

"Because the more you shout, the more people hear you! I found people who listened, and more than that; they cared!"

"This your school? Well, where are they, Kurt?" Kurt looked at him in shocked confused.

"They- they don't live in this state." he replied, as calmly as he could.

"But they'd all come rushing to beat me up if I touched you?" Kurt opened his mouth to say yes, but then stopped himself because he wasn't sure they would. Kurt knew that they were fully capable of getting into fights, but they seemed to have a strong desire for no violence now…They wouldn't touch anyone in school, but would they mind if it was outside of school? Would they even know because they didn't seem to want to read his e-mails?

"You should come back to McKinley. They got into fights for you."

"What are you going to do? Hit me because you're such a man."

"Don't-"

The door flew open. Both their heads spun around to see who was in the entrance. Finn was standing there, red faced and worried looking. Kurt could feel waves of relief rolling through him, until he saw the angry look flash into Finn's eyes.

"Get the hell away from my brother, Karofsky!" he snarled, advancing on the large Footballer. Karofsky looked between Kurt and Finn, like a cornered animal, and then lunged at Finn. Catching both of them by surprise he snatched Finn by the head, and bashed it against the countertop. Kurt let out a scream as Finn slid down, cracking his head against the tiled floor. Karofsky was running from the bathroom before Kurt could say or do anything to stop him, but there was the sound of dashing feet around outside, and confused voices.

"Finn!" he gasped, dropping down to his step-brother's side, and turning him over, scared by the blood that was coming from his head. "Finn!" he shook him frantically as another shopper came running in. He took in the scene, and pulled out his phone instantly. Kurt wasn't paying him that much attention, though, as the fact that Finn was unconscious began to sink into him.

"What happened, son?" but Kurt was too scared and worried to listen to the man that was trying to help him. Finn had just dived in and got himself hurt. Karofsky had rammed his head against the counter without a second thought. Karofsky was more unstable than Kurt had thought. Kurt had misjudged the situation. He'd been sure that Karofsky wouldn't start a fight. This was his fault.

---

Blaine wasn't sure what to think about the situation that he was in. He was currently sitting, maybe a little uncomfortably, in a metal framed chair with a wicker back and seat, a foam cup of steaming coffee resting in his right hand, and his older brother, chewing nonchalantly on a cookie, opposite him.

Cooper had, to all intents and purposes, reappeared in Anderson household out of thin air. Blaine had been munching on a muffin one moment, and the next his coffee had been stolen from before him by his very much awake looking brother. He hadn't said much about his trip to New York, or what he'd done, but he had told Blaine that he thought they should go shopping together because Cooper didn't know what to buy Emily, or dad - like Blaine had any idea what to buy their father.

"Look, Coop," he began, possibly a little tentatively. "What do you want?" Cooper raised an eyebrow, and settled himself back in his chair.

"I want to spend some time with you." Blaine snorted, looking around the shopping centre in scornful disbelief.

"Right…"

"Blaine, come on," said Cooper with a hint of frustration. "so I don't always call you back, let it go." Blaine glared at his brother.

"Cooper, I was begging you to call me back, begging."

"You don't harp on about it to Emily."

"Because she was there for me." Cooper held up his hands, eyes flashing a little bit, and Blaine sighed, wriggling in his seat, and folded his arms.

"Okay, let's cut to the chase," Cooper leant forward, moving away the little pot that contained sugar and other sachets. "I need to talk about mum." Blaine almost knocked the cup of coffee off the table in shock.

"Mum?" he demanded, jumping forward in his seat, frown dropping onto his face.

"I've met her." Blaine felt his face slacken. Cooper had met their mum! Blaine kind of knew that Cooper had been looking for their mother because Blaine would be doing the same, if you're in the same town then it was only natural.

"Do you- are you serious?" he asked, feeling his chest rising and falling a little bit faster in expectation, and worry. Cooper nodded.

"Yeah, God yeah." Blaine didn't know what to say. He felt shocked to his very core. He hadn't seen or heard from his mum in ten years. He had moved on. He barely thought about her. He'd replaced her with Emily. How could she just turn up like that?

"Well, um, is she…is she okay?" Cooper looked at his little brother as if he was mad, and Blaine knew that the question he'd asked wasn't the most obvious, or important, but Blaine couldn't think of anything else to say. Then Cooper shrugged.

"Not- not really." Blaine felt his eyes widen in horror and shock. Their mum, who had walked out on a comfortable family life in Ohio with two children who adored her into a life she obviously thought would be better, wasn't "okay".

"What does that mean?" he demanded, leaning forward, forgetting all about how he had been uncomfortable in his brother's presence a couple of minutes again. Cooper sighed.

"Emily told you about me stealing money from dad, right?" Blaine nodded, furrowing his brow in confusion as to the relevance of that. Cooper sighed. "Her and Adrian are in a ton of debt, they're homeless…they live in my flat." he explained, morosely. Blaine shook his head, not quite believing that.

"What- what happened?" Cooper shrugged, shaking his head in a rather tired looking manner.

"Things just didn't work out, you know how it is." Blaine bit down on the inside of his lip, mind racing. Their mum was back. More than that she was living with Cooper.

"When?" he demanded suddenly because Emily had told him about Cooper stealing from dad only just over a week after the concert, but Cooper had been at home for a long time before that. Cooper shifted looking marginally guilty. "When did you meet mum?" he demanded, voice strained from suppressed anger and frustration. "When did she come back?" Cooper ran a hand over his mouth, looking on edge and worried.

"August." he said, quietly. Blaine stared at him, mouth open and eyes wide. He felt something sinking inside of him as he began to comprehend that statement.

August

The word rung around his head, battering the inside of his skull, and still not quite comprehended by his brain. Then he began to feel something moving up his throat. A feeling of overwhelming nausea, but he wasn't sick, he was angry. So angry that he wanted to throw up…? That was new.

"August!" he finally yelled out, fists clenching, and fighting the urge to knock the table over and rage and storm and cry because Cooper had no right to keep something as important as that from Blaine. No right at all!

"Look, Blaine, I had my reasons-"

"What reasons?" Cooper leant forward, hands pressing down onto Blaine's shoulders to get him to stay seated. His face was close to Blaine's, eyes boring into each others, and Blaine kept breathing as calmly as he could.

"She didn't want you to know that she was in trouble." he said, calmly, voice low, and looking around at the couple of people that were giving them odd looks. Blaine glared back at his big brother.

"What does that mean?" he spat out, and Cooper swallowed, heavily.

"She didn't want you to know that she was homeless because she didn't want you to feel like this was in anyway your fault, or for you to tell dad." Blaine swallowed, a couple of tears pricking his eyes for no real reason.

"I don't understand, Coop, we missed her so bad…now she's just back, and- and she doesn't want me, again?"

"No, Blaine, it's not that simple…Blaine, I didn't want either of you to feel…awkward, or anything…you and Emily…I haven't explained that yet…I don't know how." Cooper let go of Blaine's shoulders and shrugged, sighing. "I don't want either of you to get hurt, again…Look, Blaine, I feel like shit doing this, but I don't like mum and Adrian in my house. I don't mind them around, but Adrian's so friggin' full of himself, and he's convinced that it wasn't his fault that he can't provide for mum." Blaine rolled his eyes because Cooper ranting about someone being full of themselves always sounded incredibly hypocritical.

"Okay, and…?" Blaine shrugged, clearly asking what Cooper wanted from him. Cooper sighed.

"I need money, Blaine," and Blaine frowned in confusion because Cooper had a lot of money. "and I know that I have money, Blaine, but I'm- I'm not as rich as I've been telling dad, okay?" he glanced around, nervously. "I just wanted dad to, you know, stop and think for a little bit, but he didn't listen."

"He never does," muttered Blaine, looking at him in sympathy. "But Coop I don't-" he broke off, feeling some form of panic beginning to clog his chest. "Coop, I can't." Cooper frowned at him.

"What about that savings account that dad gave you? Don't you have, like, $320 in there?" Blaine slid his hand into his trouser pocket, touching his wallet and feeling a swooping sensation of fear and panic.

"I can't, Coop, I told- I promised Oz that he could have it." Cooper frowned at his brother in confusion, and then snorted in frustration.

"What does he need it for?" Blaine sighed, swallowing, and glancing around before lowering his voice.

"He wants to get Garth out. He reckons he needs money for lawyers to get Garth out, and I promised him that he could have money from me. I agree with him, Garth needs to leave before he suffocates." Cooper looked somewhere between anguished and frustrated.

"Blaine, I'm your brother, and I am asking you to do this for our mother." Blaine shook his head because it wasn't that simple.

"Coop, Garth's like my brother, and when I needed someone he was there, but where was mum? Coop she left us behind! She left dad because she couldn't stand him, but she was had absolutely no qualms about leaving us there!" Blaine could feel all his old frustrations bubbling up from where he had kept them quashed for so long. "And why is she only talking to you now? You've been around for years, but she's only meeting you when she needs something! Doesn't that seem the least bit suspicious to you?"

Cooper slapped him, hard, around the face. Blaine almost toppled from his chair. A hand flew to his cheek which stung painfully. The tears had built up in his eyes, and threatened to spill over his tired lids. Cooper was frozen. He looked like he couldn't quite believe what he'd just done. Not even their father, in all his anger about Cooper's career and Blaine's sexuality, had ever laid a finger on any of the people in his family. Ever.

Blaine leapt to his feet. There was a strange feeling of panic coursing through his veins. He almost knocked his chair over in his desire to get away because in his experience anyone who had ever hurt himself was not to be trusted, and people never just punched you once. Once they started hurting you they never seemed to stop. Not until they were endangered themselves.

"Blaine!" Cooper yelled, but Blaine was running out of the café, and into the rest of the shopping centre. "Blaine, stop! Blaine, I'm sorry!" Blaine was running, though, and he was already onto the streets, dashing away from his brother. He just needed to get away from him. He just needed to be away. He needed to be safe. He needed to be alone. He needed-

"Blaine?" Blaine ran slap bang into a person, and backed up hastily, slipping and sliding on the slushy grit that covered the pavement. Looking up he felt his heart stop beating for a second. He was frozen in shock and fear.

"Matt?" he began to back away, even as his eyes began to understand that his old friend was standing slap bang in front of him. "Damien?" he noticed the other boy, and felt panic overwhelm the burning feeling in his muscles, and the cold on his face and fingers. The two Footballers looked at each other.

"Blaine, you better run." said Matt, a frown on his face, glancing over his shoulder.

"Blaine, run!" hissed Damien, also glancing over his shoulder. Blaine frowned at the boy that had partaken in beating him and his best friend up.

"Blaine!"

"Sorry, did you say Blaine?" Greg and Holt came walking towards them from where they'd been throwing snowballs at an elderly lady on the other side of the road. Matt sighed, looking at the ground, and Damien rolled his eyes to the sky in frustration.

"Anderson," Holt's voice was smooth, oily, and ever so cold. "it's been a long time." Blaine nodded, stepping backwards, fully aware that his family had gotten Barnaby expelled. Damien and Greg had been suspended, but Barnaby had been expelled…

"Going somewhere?" demanded Greg, striding over to him, and catching his arm because Blaine knew that running was futile.

"Not- not really."

"Blaine, we need to have a chat," said Holt, bending down and going right into Blaine's face. "about you getting me expelled." Blaine trembled from fear, and Matt reached forward, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Barn, not here, someone might see."

"Matt's right," said Damien nodding. "you can't afford to get in anymore trouble." In a swift movement Barnaby had thrown Damien into a lamppost, and then was right in the other boy's face.

"What are you saying about my family?" he snarled, and Damien held up his hands in a surrender.

"Dude, it's just an expression, chill." Holt let go of him, and spun around, punching Blaine right in the face. Blaine nearly fell over, but Greg held him up, twisting his arms behind his back, and allowing Holt to reign a series of punches down on him.

"You fucking got me expelled!" he snarled. "You fucked up my life you fucking fag!" He kicked Blaine between the legs, and Blaine lowered his bloodied face in pain. His head was swimming, and he could barely feel fear through all his pain. Greg was still twisting his arms backwards, and Blaine was scared that it might become dislocated.

"Holt!" yelled Matt or Damien - Blaine couldn't tell the difference anymore. "Stop! Someone might see!"

"Are you on the fag's side?" he demanded.

"What? No!"

"Than help me! He got you suspended!" There was a silence, and a blissful moment when the pain began to diminish slightly. Then the crunch of feet on the snow.

"Alright." A fist smashed into nose, and his head flopped backwards.

"Guys, please stop! Forget school, you could be arrested! He's going to tell!" Blaine screamed as his arm was ripped from it's socket by Greg, and it garnered a sick laugh from the two twisted teens.

"No, he wont." Even through the pain and blood, Blaine somehow managed to see the blade of a flick-knife glint in the weak sun. He felt sick. Holt was going to murder him. He squeezed his eyes shut, and then he felt a wave of calm understanding pass over him. He was going to die because he'd ruined someone's life. A couple of tears slid down his cheeks. He guess he probably deserved it. His lip twitched as he bowed his bloody head, and felt the cold blade of the knife being pressed against his throat. He was too tired to beg.

"Barnaby!" screamed Matt, and there was a scuffle and then a cry of pain. More blood spattered onto the white snow. Blaine was cold all over.

"Sebastian…" he whispered under his breath. He really wanted to see Sebastian again. Wanted to say goodbye.

Two strong arms wrapped around him…

Blaine hugged him back for once trying to offer comfort…

"Bastian, please tell me what's wrong? I thought you were okay…"

"I learnt something about myself, Blaine; I don't care about many people, but the ones I do I can't cope with loosing…Don't ever make me loose you…I'd never stand it…"

"Sorry…" he slurred out as he felt the sharp edge press harder against his skin.

"Barnaby…" came a warning tone. "Matt's right…we shouldn't- we can't-" Blaine collapsed over the knife as Greg suddenly let go of him, backing away. Barnaby retracted his arm, cutting through Blaine's skin. Blaine fell into the snow, bleeding from his neck.

"He ruined my life!"

"You can't murder him! Beat him up, yeah, he deserves that, but murder! We'll get life!"

"Everything will be more fucked up if we do!" Blaine's head was still swimming, and dark spots were appearing in his vision.

"Let's just run now! He knows not to tell! He knows if he fucks with you again you will do it!"

"Let's just run!"

"Now!"

"Blaine?" Blaine was fading, but he was sure that that was Cooper… What was Cooper doing here? "Oi, you fuckheads!"

"Run!" There were pounding feet and swearing, and Blaine felt two hands turn him over as he struggled to stay conscious.

"Blaine! Blaine! Fuck! Stay with me! Stay with me brother!"

"C-C- te- te-" he couldn't speak. He couldn't form a word properly. He felt dizzy. Sick. Tired.

Everything went black.

---

I was only this scared once before, and that was when I was waiting for news on my dad after his heart attack. I hate hospitals. They're too clean, and they smell odd. I'm holding it together, but only because the paramedic was encouraging. He said he was going to be okay, but I don't know…Head wounds are really dangerous…Everyone knows that…Brain damage and everything…If anything serious happens I'm not sure if I'll be able to forgive myself…We were getting along so well…

"Kurt!" Kurt looked around, taking his hand away from his mouth, and all but ran towards Carole who was dashing towards him, looking petrified. She wrapped her arms tightly around him, and Kurt hugged her back. "It's okay, sweetie," she said, maybe for her own benefit as well. "We're going to be okay."

"Kurt?" Kurt looked up at his dad, and straight into his angry, serious, face. "You're okay?" Kurt nodded, looking slightly annoyed with his concern for Kurt.

"I'm fine! I'm not hurt at all!"

"Has anybody said anything?" asked Carole, looking understandably worried for her son. Kurt shook his head, and Burt slipped an arm around her waist, guiding her to a seat.

"What happened, Kurt?" he demanded, and Kurt took a deep breath, trying to get his head together.

"I was- I went into a stationary shop, and I-" he broke off. He needed to tell them the truth, and Finn would tell them everything when he woke up - if he woke up, and if he remembered - because he wouldn't understand why Kurt would want to keep it quiet.

"It was Karofsky," he said in a tired voice. Burt stiffened, and Carole let out a little moan, reaching over to hold his hand. "He was working in the shop and he came over."

"Did he threaten you?" demanded Burt, and Kurt shook his head, and then stopped, trying to find the right words without telling them what Karofsky had done.

"No, not exactly, he just- we had this argument about me being gay, and then he asked me what it was like at Dalton, and…I don't know it was really weird…but his manager came over and told us to take it outside, and I just-" he broke off shrugging. "I just followed…he didn't threaten me out loud, but…" Kurt sighed. "He was just- I saw it in his eyes…" he shrugged, knowing that he sounded stupid and foolish.

"Where was Finn?" demanded Burt, narrowing his eyes and furrowing his brow in confusion. "I thought you were shopping together." Kurt sighed.

"I went to get Keats a present, and he was tired…I left him on the bench. I told him I'd be back in twenty minutes, and he put his iPod in. The bench was facing the other way…" Kurt shrugged. "He couldn't see me, and…it was weird, but he took me into a toilet, and no one was there, and he just started…I don't know…"

"Did he threaten you?" Kurt shook his head.

"No, he- he said that he thought I knew he wouldn't hurt me because he hadn't hit me so far, or something like that." Kurt shrugged because he couldn't explain what had happened without telling his dad about the kiss. "I turned to walk away and he grabbed me and shoved me into the counter, and I don't know what he was going to do…he started demanding to know where the Dalton boys were, and whether they'd beat him up, and then Finn came in…I don't know how he knew where we were, but he did." he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "He told Karofsky to get away from me, and he was just walking towards him, and then Karofsky just grabbed him and smashed his head against the sink counter, and ran. Finn's head hit the floor, and I screamed. Someone rushed in, and called an ambulance."

There was a long silence in which Kurt took some steadying breaths, and tried to think about how he was going to explain to Finn what had been going on. He supposed he could tell his step-brother the truth, but Kurt wasn't sure that Finn would be able to keep it a secret, and he highly doubted Finn would understand any of it. Carole sniffed loudly, composing her face into one of steady calm, and Burt fumed, face dropped into a frown, as if he knew that his son had not been entirely honest with him.

After a couple of minutes in this uncomfortable silence, in which everyone was sucked deeply into their thoughts, worries and emotions, Burt got to his feet. Kurt looked up, warily, at his father, and Carole jumped when his hand slipped from between hers.

"I'm calling the police," he snapped, and Kurt felt his eyes widen from horror.

No! That's the last thing we need.

"Dad!"

"Son, nothing gives that kid the right to go around and terrorise you, and he certainly can't get away with just attacking Finn like that!" Kurt opened his mouth, to argue, but knew that it was futile because he knew that angry look in his dad's eye - he'd seen it before, when his dad had first found out about Karofsky - and guessed that Karofsky was lucky he wasn't in the vicinity because his dad would probably punch him, or something.

"But, dad, what if he attacks someone again?" Kurt leapt to his feet as his dad pulled out his phone, feeling desperate. "He's- he's not-" Kurt tried not to feel scared, but he was. It was okay for Kurt, he didn't think Karofsky could hurt him and he was at Dalton, but Karofsky had smashed Finn's head against the sink without a second thought. Karofsky was dangerous! Kurt couldn't risk that.

"Kurt," his dad rested both hands on his son's shoulders. "you've got to trust me on this. Maybe if we get him arrested he'll be thrown out of McKinley, and you and Finn will be safe." Kurt bit his lip because that was all speculation, and they couldn't be sure. McKinley let a lot of things slide.

"Dad, I don't think that's true," he said, quietly, thinking of Puck and juvie. "Puck went to juvie, and he's still at McKinley… I don't think that they care that much. I mean, it's not like Puck had a good record or good grades or good anything…" In fact, the more Kurt stopped and thought about it, Puck and Karofsky were remarkably similar, except of course the whole sexuality thing, and Puck had the New Directions to educate him and set him straight. He ought to have remembered, of course, because Puck had tossed him in dumpsters and bullied him badly, but after dancing and singing with him, Kurt had learnt to see him in a new light.

Burt removed his hands form Kurt's shoulders at that, looking suddenly more worried, and Kurt guessed that Burt hadn't really been aware of what had happened to Puck, it had been immediately after his heart-attack, and when Sam had joined the Glee club so they'd been talking about other things. He could see that Burt hadn't factored the idea that McKinley was such a crap school that they'd have no problems letting Karofsky stay there.

"God damnit!" he swore under his breath. "I still want to call the police, Kurt, because what he's done is assault." Kurt looked nervously at Carole who just looked worried for her son. "But, maybe," he ran a hand over his head, and Kurt knew that his dad hated not being able to take immediate action to put a stop to what was happening.

The curtain moved, however, before Burt could say anything more, and a doctor stepped out. He looked stressed, but there was nothing to indicate that Finn was in any serious danger, or so Kurt hoped. Burt stepped over to take Carole's hand, and Carole placed a hand on Kurt's shoulder for comfort and support. They were all connected, part of a closed circuit of worry, desperation and hope, and Kurt felt - just in that second - that they were a family.

"He looks like he's going to be fine." said the doctor in a remarkably calm voice. "There was no fracture to the skull, and the wounds were mainly superficial. He lost a bit of blood, but there's been no need for a IV or transfusion. He's unconscious, but, with any luck, he should come around soon. Don't expect him to be completely with it at the beginning, he's likely to have a concussion, and his memory around the time of the incident may be a little vague. It could come back and it could not. The best thing to do is not push him. Try to keep him without stress for a few days. He'll likely have a headache. If anything comes up; vomiting, lack of stability, those type of things, bring him back in." Burt nodded, taking in all the information.

"But he's going fine?" he asked, just for clarification. The doctor gave them a small smile.

"He should be fine. Err, does he play sport?" There was a round of nodding. "Football?" he guessed, and there were more nods. "Be careful with that. He'll have a helmet, obviously, but just keep him away from any kind of contact sport for the rest of the holiday." There was a lot more nodding.

Oh sweet mercy! My knees feel a little bit weak. I knew that he was going to be okay, but at the same time…You can just never tell. Hospitals are horrible like that. You get stuck in a building where people are dying and there's nothing people can do, and you just start thinking…

"Can we go in and see him?"

"Of course." They all moved into the little room where Kurt saw Finn, lying rather peacefully he thought, in a white hospital bed. He had the covers drawn up to his chest, and his head was wrapped in a white bandage. There was a clip on his finger, and Kurt wasn't entirely sure what it was doing, but it looked like it was hooked up to something.

Kurt breathed out a sigh of relief. There was one thing hearing a doctor say it, and completely another to see him lying there, almost like he was asleep. Kurt moved to the side of the bed. Carole hurriedly moved to the chair, taking her son's hand and wiping her eyes. Burt folded his arms, staring down the bed at his step-son and Kurt wasn't really sure he knew what his dad was thinking. Kurt sincerely hoped his dad wasn't going to get mad at Finn for allowing Karofsky to manhandle him away, not when Finn had dashed in and gotten hurt.

Kurt's phone beeped in his pocket, and he jumped a little. He'd sent out a mass text to all the New Directions telling them what had happened, and he had received lots of different messages back; ones of shock, anger, frustration, worry… Rachel had sent a very long one about how, in case anything happened, she needed to tell Finn how she really felt about him which had caused Kurt to roll his eyes. Puck, on the other, hand just sent him two words; I'm coming, and it was him that was texting Kurt now.

"Puck's here." he said, and Carole nodded, looking up with relieved, yet tearful, eyes. He slipped out, and moved down to the entrance of the hospital. Puck was standing there, hands thrust into his jean's pockets, and looking angry. He spotted Kurt, and he nodded at him, dodging his way through the people to his side.

"Alright, Kurt?" he asked, eyeing Kurt up and down, and Kurt knew that it wasn't a throw away question; he was genuinely concerned for Kurt's well-being. Kurt nodded.

"Yes, fine, Karofsky didn't lay a finger on me, not really." Puck nodded, and followed Kurt as they began to walk back to Finn's bed.

"What happened, I mean…why the hell did he attack Finn?" Kurt swallowed, meeting Puck's angry eyes.

"I think he was scared that Finn was going to attack him, or tell on him or something…I think he wanted our conversation to be a secret." Puck nodded, but he looked confused and angry.

"God damnit!" he said pounding a fist into his hand. "What the hell has got against you? Why can't he just let it go? You're gone. Why can't he just move on?" Kurt shrugged, uncomfortably, not wanting to let on that he knew more.

"I think- I think he's-" he broke off, trying to string a sentence together that wouldn't give away. It was too much, keeping the secret, it was pressing against his skull, demanding to be set free, but Kurt couldn't tell. He just couldn't. He suddenly realised that he needed to talk to Blaine because Blaine was the only person who knew.

Puck didn't seem to mind that Kurt couldn't answer him and they just walked back to Finn's room in uncomfortable silence. Kurt got the feeling, from the way Puck's jaw was jumping ever so slightly, that he was doing his absolute best to not explode in a violent rage, for which Kurt was grateful. He simply stepped into the room after Kurt and was given a curt nod from Burt and a tearful smile from Carole. Kurt glanced at Puck and watched the way his face contorted through different stages of anger and frustration. Then he stormed from the room. It took Kurt half a second to work out what he was going to do, and chased after him.

"Puck!" he cried, dashing down the corridor. "Puck, no!" Kurt caught up with him and caught him by the arm. Puck was much stronger than Kurt, but Puck spun around, violently, anyway almost knocking Kurt over.

"I'm gotta teach him a lesson, Kurt! I gotta teach him not to mess with my boy Finn" I told him he was already number one on my list to go all Death Star on because he forced you out of there! He has to know that messing with us comes at a price!" Kurt let out a frustrated cry; why couldn't someone see that violence, especially with guys like Karofsky, didn't work?

"Puck stop!" he said, firmly but quiet loudly. "Just think! You punching Karofsky gives him the excuse to punch back! If you don't push him then he's in the wrong, still. You attacking him isn't going to do Finn any good! Besides, aren't you supposed to be on your best behaviour? You don't want to get sent back to juvie, do you?" Puck paused at that.

"Kurt, we need to do something!" he exclaimed. "This psychopath is running around punching and terrorising the shit out of you! He can't do that!" Kurt nodded.

"We will, okay? My dad said he was going to call the police. Don't do anything to damage our chances of getting something done, alright?" Puck nodded, but he looked moody and angry. Kurt stared at him, breathing heavily, chest rising and forward. "Promise me, Puck, please." Puck huffed but then met Kurt's eyes.

"I promise, but when things get back to start at McKinley, I'm gonna lay down the law. No one touches the New Directions." Kurt heaved a sigh again, not sure what to say to that.

"Just don't get yourself set back to juvie, okay? Finn'll kill you." Puck nodded, and then pulled out his phone.

"Alright, I'm gonna get in touch with the guys." Kurt frowned, feeling worried.

"Why?"

"To suspend the attack. I'll make sure someone puts a leash on the she-devil." Kurt snorted.

"Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

"Keep me posted on Finn, guy's my best friend." he nodded, putting on a tough face. "Keep yourself safe." he added as he walked away, and Kurt exhaled heavily through his nose, feeling calmer. Then he pulled out his phone, calling Blaine. The phone rang for a little while until it went through to voice mail;

"Hey, this is Blaine Anderson. Obviously I can't talk to you right now so if you wanna leave me a message, and your number if you need to or whatever, and I'll get back to asap." Kurt huffed, angrily, and rolled his eyes as the phone beeped.

"Hey Blaine, it's Kurt…um, something- something- Finn's been attacked…by Karofsky and I…" he closed his eyes and sighed. "I really need to talk to you…it's kind of important…yeah, just call me, please." he hung up and leaned against the wall, closing his eyes.

Why is Blaine ignoring me? What did I do? I thought- we're friends…he hasn't wanted to contact me all holidays…

Kurt stared down at his phone, and wondered whether he could call Keats. True, they were dating, but Kurt didn't particularly want to tell Keats what had happened. Keats would treat Kurt like he was broken, and Kurt didn't want that to happen. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his eyes.

Why do I feel so lonely? I have so many people that I call my friends, but I have no one to turn to when I need help…

With a sigh because he wasn't sure what else he could do, he stepped back into Finn's room. Carole glanced around and then noticed that Puck had gone.

"Where is Puck?" Kurt sighed and moved over to a chair.

"He went to stop the guys and Santana attacking Karofsky, I managed to talk him into it. I said it would do more damage." Burt nodded.

"It would," Kurt opened his mouth to speak some more, but Finn let out a mumble, head rolling from side to side. Kurt was on his feet in an instant as Finn's forehead creased up into a frown and his eyes began to blink, sluggishly, open.

"Wh…?" he said, not quite forming a word, and a heavy armed reached up to touch the bandages on his forehead. "What…? Where…?" he looked at his mum and then Kurt. "Where am I?"

"Hospital," said Carole, patting his hand. Finn frowned, touching his head again.

"What the hell happened? We were shopping and then you went off to buy something for…" he frowned harder, wincing, and screwing up his eyes. "for Keats and I…what happened…I can't- it's fuzzy."

"You got hit on the head," explained Kurt. "The doctor said you might not remember what happened."

"But how?" Kurt sighed, examining his fingers for a moment.

"It was Karofsky…I don't know how you found me, but you did and you told him to get away from me and he grabbed you and smashed your head against the sink…you hit the floor and there was quite a bit of blood and some random guy called an ambulance and the doctor says you're gonna be okay." Finn stared at him, reaching up and pressing a hand to his forehead.

"Karofsky…?" he questioned. "The shop- the manager!" he exclaimed. "I don't- you were gone!" Kurt swallowed and nodded.

"Yeah, something like that…just calm down…I'm okay…" Finn flopped down against the pillows, still frowning in confusion.

"Oh man, my head…"

"Does it hurt?" asked Carole and Finn nodded.

"Yeah, but I'll be fine, right?"

"Yes," said Carole, smiling. "you're gonna to be absolutely fine." There was a pause that Kurt couldn't quite take. He wasn't sure what was wrong, but he needed someone and he didn't have anyone to turn to. No one except Blaine…

He stepped out of the room and called Blaine again. He got the same voicemail and he wasn't sure whether to bother leaving a message, but did anyway;

"Blaine, it's me again…I really need to talk to about Karofsky…it's about what happened, and I- I can't think of who else to turn to…I don't know who else understands…Please, please, call me." he hung up and stared at his phone, willing it to ring.

Slowly, with great caution and because there was no one else there and Keats really ought to be the person that he turned to first but wasn't - couldn't be in this case - Kurt dialled Keats' number. He wasn't sure what to say, but reminded himself that Keats was, also, unequivocally, the person by his side. Kurt listened to it ring and then heard someone pick up.

"Hey Kurt," said Vince and Kurt rolled his eyes to ceiling. "give me a sec…Keats, your boyfriend is- ow!" He heard a loud crash in the background and frowned.

"Um, hello Vince, is Keats there?"

"Yeah, just give us one- oh, Jesus, Keats no!" Kurt continued to frown in confusion.

"Are you guys okay?"

"Yes! Almost! Give me one second…Keats, get your arse over here! Your boyfriend wants you!" Kurt could hear some indistinct mutterings in the background - Kurt guessed that it was Keats - and then another crash. "He'll be with you in one moment," said Vince and Kurt faked a smile, for no real reason, and replied;

"Okay…" There was another crash, a clatter and then a bang, and finally Keats voice rang over the line;

"Hey Kurt, are you okay?" Kurt sighed, wondering why that was Keats' first question before anything else, but just shook it away.

"No, not really…I mean- I'm fine physically, but emotionally…" he trailed off as he heard another clatter in the background. "What on earth are you doing?" he demanded, and he heard Keats laugh and say something to Vince.

"To cut a long story short; we're trying to move all the things that we think we need to live with into the very cluttered attic of Vince's house…"

"I see…" he said in mild confusion. "Are you doing that for any particular reason?"

"Trying to get away from our parents," he could all but heard Keats rolling his eyes as he said that and found himself feeling not at all calmed by this news.

"Why?"

"They're pissing us off, but what the hell's happened to you? You sound a little bit shaken." Kurt was amazed that Keats had managed to pick up on that - he didn't think he sounded that bad.

"It was Karofsky…" he said, slowly.

"Karofsky!" he heard a clatter and then a questioned "What? Is he okay?" from Vince. He heard Keats shushing him before he spoke again. "Jesus, how did he find you?" Kurt sighed.

"I was in a shop where he was working part-time over Christmas…I was actually trying to buy you a present…that didn't work out so well…" He heard Keats chuckle.

"I hear you there…I was trying to buy you a present when Andy calls me up speaking gibberish and it takes me and Vince two hours to calm him down and what I wanted to get you is gone!" Kurt snorted and felt himself relax.

"Right…"

"So, Karofsky, what did he do to you? What did he want?" Kurt let out a long sigh.

"I don't really know…I think he wanted to talk about being-" Kurt broke off, kicking himself as he'd almost let out the secret.

"Talk about him being what?" asked Keats and Kurt was mentally kicking himself very, very hard for the slip.

"About him being, you know, my bully and everything…" it was a lame excuse, and it didn't quite fit with what he'd been saying previously, but he reckoned Keats had bought it…just.

"Right…" said Keats, sounding suitably confused. "did he, you know, threaten to kill you again?" Kurt shook his head before remembering they were on the phone.

"No, it was really weird…it was like he wanted to talk to me, but he couldn't…he's kind of scared and frightened and he's lashing out…he hurt Finn, that's where I am now, in the hospital."

"Christ," murmured Keats. "your step-brother alright?" Kurt let out a long sigh before smiling.

"Yes, he's going to be fine…" He could hear Keats nodding over the other end of the line.

"Do you want to talk about it or do you want me to talk?" Kurt frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"Do you want me to distract you?" Kurt let out a sigh before nodding.

"Yeah, that sounds good," he said with a smile. "That sounds really good, actually."

Kurt let Keats talk to him for a good hour about what had happened to him, Vince and Stuart during the holidays. It seemed that, with the exception of Andy, they all lived in the same area, but Parker had ended up in New York with his grandparents. From the sounds of it the three boys spent most of their time sneaking out of the house and finding ways to aggravate their parents. So far, Stuart had super-glued his parents to their chairs and clothes, replaced all the light bulbs in their house with blown ones and buttered the floor. Vince had been changing the clocks and replacing their work with crayon drawings of ethnic minorities and gay people, and Keats had spray-painted rainbows all over his house.

Carole left the room just before Kurt hung up on Keats, mouthing the word "bathroom" at him and Kurt had nodded, not really needing to know where she'd gone. Vince had shouted down the phone about someone, Kurt couldn't quite hear properly, and Keats had sworn, loudly, and said that they needed to hide. Kurt, rolling his eyes, had said goodbye to Keats, feeling quite a bit better, and hung up on him. He got up from where he'd been sitting and moved back to Finn's bed, stopping outside when he heard what Finn was saying.

"So, you're not mad at me for letting Karofsky get him?" Kurt tensed up waiting for his dad's response because if his dad said that he was then Kurt was going to have to give him a serious talking to.

"No," he said, and Kurt could hear Finn's sigh of relief as Kurt deflated. "I mean, I can't pretend that I'm not annoyed that Karofsky got to him, but…I know it wasn't your fault."

"Oh, good…'cause…I don't know…kind of feels like it…"

"Nah, the chances of runnin' into him are pretty small. It was damned unlucky, and his fault for forcing Kurt to come with him…How'd you find 'em?" Kurt cocked his ear at that, curious, but he could hear Finn exhaling heavily, and tilting his head slightly and shuffling closer, he could just about see him shaking his head.

"I don't know…I can't quite remember…"

"Either way, I have to admit that I'm kind of proud of you kid."

"Really?" Kurt felt a little bit of his heart go out to Finn at that. He sounded so pleased and surprised and happy. It had never really occurred to him, but Burt and Finn had been on terrible terms and hadn't spoken until the wedding. It was a little bit odd, and Kurt had never really thought about how their relationship was because his dad wasn't exactly inclined to forgiving and forgetting, especially not as far as Kurt went.

"Yeah, it's not been a year, but you've- you've changed a lot." He saw Finn shrug.

"It's all Kurt, he's great!" Burt shook his head.

"People don't change their views easily, Finn." He saw Finn pause.

"I think…I didn't-" he shrugged. "I mean, Kurt's such an inspiration, right? I mean, I don't understand how he does it. It's like he doesn't care what people think about him. I mean…It's all…I mean, I care what people think of me, like a lot, but I don't…" he shrugged again. "I don't get it…it's like, I'd like to not care, but I can't…" he shrugged again, smiling sheepishly. Kurt looked at Finn, smiling. He had no idea that Finn saw him like that. Burt reached over and pulled Finn up a bit, their hands gripping each other's wrists and clapped him on the shoulder.

"You did good, son, you just rest and fix that head of yours in time for the Championship game, eh?"

"Oh my god! I can't miss that!"

"Lie down!" Laughing, Kurt re-entered the room. He took a seat and just smiled as Carole stepped back inside, looking far better than she had when she'd first arrived at the hospital.

If Blaine calls me back, and I never have to see Karofsky again, than I just might be okay with this whole situation. It could be better, but I know it could be a whole lot worse…The only thing that I can't get out of my head is what he said about McKinley and them getting into fights for me. The Dalton boys don't seem to settle it that way, at all. Keats was concerned, but he wasn't…There were no threats or anything…It was kind of…I don't know…I might just be over thinking…I mean I know they can get violent, but maybe it's just about certain things…I don't know…It shouldn't matter…

---

Blaine felt really groggy. He had an urge to close his eyes again and curl up and fall back asleep. His throat hurt. There was a buzzing noise around him. Was that talking? He felt disconnected from the world. Disorientated.

"…Blaine…" he turned his head, feeling the pressure of something against his neck. It wasn't hard or painful. Kind of soft, actually. His neck hurt, not his throat. "Blaine!" It sounded like Sebastian and he smiled at that because he wanted it to be Sebastian, but…Sebastian was miles away. He blinked, again. He tried to sit up, but suddenly realised that his right arm was in a sling.

"Sebastian?" Sebastian appeared in his view. Green eyes were filled with worry and a little bit too close him. Things were rushing through his brain now. He was awake and he was overwhelmed. Cooper. Mum. Slap. Running. Matt. Damien. Greg. Holt. Fear. Pain. Death. Cooper. "Sebastian." His eyes filled with tears and Sebastian was on his bed, wrapping an arm around him and pulling him against his shoulder.

He sobbed, unrestrainedly. He was a complete mess of different emotions. He was scared. He was relieved. He was very afraid. He was in pain. He was thankful. He was safe. Sebastian was here. He was in hospital. He was going to be okay, unless Holt found him again. Holt knew where he lived! He was going to die! Oh God!

"Get off!" he heard Cooper snapping. "That's my brother you fu-"

"Cooper!"

"Alright, chill!" He felt his body collapse a little more into Sebastian's. Cooper, Emily and Oscar were here.

"Excuse me!" the bossy, harassed voice of a woman came cutting through and Blaine felt himself be rested against pillows so that he was upright. He looked up at a nurse who was staring down at him. "How do you feel?" Sebastian rolled his eyes to the ceiling and Blaine tried not to smile.

"Um…okay…?" he'd suddenly noticed the IV that was attached to the inside of his elbow.

"Any dizziness?" Blaine shook his head, slowly.

"No."

"Pain?"

"It's not," he swallowed. "It's not that bad."

"Good." she removed the needle from his vein, strapping a piece of cotton wool over the wool. Emily moved to his side as Sebastian held onto his hand. She took a seat on the other side of his bed to Sebastian and hugged him tightly.

"Darling, how do you feel, really?" Blaine frowned as he sat back a little bit as she smooth down his hair.

"I don't know, Emily," he said, softly. "I can't…" he looked over at Sebastian. "How- how are you here?"

"You were out for two days, Blaine…Emily called me the moment she got here." Blaine stared at him with a frown.

"But…why are you here?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow, incredulously, at him and Blaine knew that this was one of his stupid moments, but his mind was tired and disjointed and over run with irrational panic. It was like there people inside his head jumping around, going "look at me! Hey, Blaine, panic!" and Blaine was pretty good at listening to them.

"Blaine, someone tried to kill you." he said, slowly, staring right into Blaine's eyes as if trying to drill the words into Blaine's mind. "I thought you might die. Don't you remember what I said?" Blaine stared at him for one second before it hit him.

…"I learnt something about myself, Blaine; I don't care about many people, but the ones I do I can't cope with loosing…Don't ever make me loose you…I'd never stand it…"…

"Right…" he said, swallowing and feeling choked up and overwhelmed. Sebastian had come all the way down here for him. He should have known that Sebastian would do that, but he always had his doubts. He would always have his doubts.

"Blaine," said Cooper, hurrying to his side. He took a deep breath, eyes scanning his younger brother's battered form. "Oh Blaine, I'm sorry!" Blaine nodded, tears building up in his eyes. He bit down on the inside of his lip, trying to stop them from spilling over. For once Cooper seemed to be without words, but Blaine reached up with his good arm and Cooper was quick to bend down and embrace his little brother.

"It's okay," croaked out Blaine, beginning to cry into his shoulder. "I'm okay." He heard Emily and Sebastian get off the bed, and then three pairs of feet left the room.

"Blaine!" said Cooper, somehow conveying, through that one word, all the guilt and relief and anger and fear that he felt. How he was blaming himself for hitting Blaine and causing him to run off. How glad he was that he'd found in that second. How angry he was that the bullies had got to him again when Cooper should have been with them. How scared he was if he'd come later Blaine might have been killed.

"I'm okay," he said, again, trying to convince them all that that was true. "I'm here." Cooper snorted, sending warm air ruffling up his hair.

"I'm meant to be comforting you!" he said, drawing back and resting Blaine against the raised back of the bed. "I'm sorry Blaine," he said, resting a hand very gently on Blaine's cheek. Blaine winced, a tiny bit, and knew that was where the bruise Cooper had given him was blossoming. "I shouldn't have hit you." Blaine shrugged, a single tear slipping down to his chin.

"It's okay," Cooper shook his head, face twisting with self-loathing.

"No, it's not okay, Blaine! Not even dad has laid a finger on us! In all the things that he's said and done he's never hurt us! Or not physically at least." Blaine nodded because he could not argue with that.

"I know…" he said, quietly. "But Coop, the things I said about mum. I don't-" Cooper held up his hands.

"Blaine, I get it! It's okay. Don't think that those things didn't cross my mind, too." Blaine frowned at his brother who sighed. "Blaine I don't want to talk about this now, alright…You're sick, you're tired, you've just been through hell, we'll talk later, okay?" Blaine wanted to shake his head and protest, but he was really tired. He wanted to close his eyes and drop back off.

"Okay…" he said quietly. Cooper nodded and patted Blaine's good arm.

"You get some rest, little bro, and we can talk when you come back home." Blaine nodded.

"Okay…" he said in a quiet voice and his brother got up, patting his leg. "Hey, Coop," his brother turned around. "Thanks for coming for me," Cooper turned a suddenly stern eye upon his smaller brother.

"You're my brother, Blaine, my younger brother; that's what I'm here for." Blaine sniffed, raising his hand to rub his nose and gave his brother a small smile.

"Alright," he said, voice cracking and breaking. "I'll see you, whenever…" Cooper smiled down at Blaine.

"I'll be outside with Emily," he said. Blaine nodded and Cooper walked backwards out of the room. A moment later Sebastian came back into the room. He shut the door and flew across to Blaine's side. He wrapped his arms around Blaine, again, and this time Blaine felt safer and stronger. Sebastian kissed him, long and hard, and Blaine was so…tired?…numb?…that he couldn't feel nervous.

"Shit Blaine!" exclaimed Sebastian when they broke apart. Blaine's chest was heaving a little bit, heart beating faster but feeling all the more safer. "Shit!" Blaine felt his heart sink a little bit at that. Sebastian was rarely lost for words.

"Bastian, I…"

"Blaine, what the hell happened?" he exclaimed. "I-" Sebastian broke off, shaking his head and looking far more worried than Blaine had seen him since Barcelona…Blaine closed his eyes, sighing.

"I had a row with Cooper," he said, quietly. "It was about mum…" he looked up and saw, from Sebastian's steady gaze, that Sebastian already knew that. "We- it got out of hand and Cooper hit me." he saw a little something jump in Sebastian's jaw, his eyes darkened.

"Yes, your brother said as much." Blaine swallowed and then looked back at Sebastian.

"I ran…" said Blaine, quietly. "I just ran out of there…Then I ran into Matt…Him and Damien they- they me to run, but I…" he could still feel the shock that stopped him from running. The way his mind had chugged to a stop. "I couldn't, Bastian- I just-" he broke off, choking up. "I couldn't move!" Sebastian reached across and pressed down on his upper arms.

"It's okay, Blaine, there's no one else here but me. You trust me." It wasn't a question, but a simple statement. There was no need for any clarification, but it was what Blaine needed.

"They told me to run, but I couldn't. Then Greg and- and Holt came…" he let out Holt's name in a whisper. "Greg grabbed me and Holt- Holt said we needed to talk about me getting him expelled." he closed his eyes. "He was- he was unstable…he beat the crap out of me…he talked Damien into hitting me…Greg dislocated my arm…he pulled out a knife…Matt told him not to and he just attacked him. The others wanted him to leave, stop…Greg let go and I fell onto the knife…They talked him out it and they run as Cooper came…"

Blaine hadn't really noticed but he'd began to cry again. He didn't feel as bad as he had, but all that fear and the certainty of death was overwhelming. Sebastian ran a hand over his face, taking Blaine's hand with his other one and squeezed it tightly.

"You're alright," he repeated, quietly. "You're safe with me." Blaine looked up at Sebastian, taking in his pale, worn, face and nodded.

"I wanted to see you…" he muttered as softly as he could. "I wanted to tell you that I loved you…" his lower lip trembled and Sebastian pulled him back into a tight embrace. He was safe and protected from harm because he had Sebastian who had done nothing but look after Blaine from the minute he came to Dalton.

"I love you too, Blaine," he said, quietly. "but you have got to be more careful…You're going to turn my beautiful head of hair grey." Blaine let out a quiet laugh into his shoulder.

"Alright…I'll try," he muttered. Sebastian set him back and frowned at him, the calculating look in his eyes cutting through him. He was reading Blaine's mind and Blaine was waiting for whatever question Sebastian wanted to ask.

"There is no way for me to convince you to call the police on these people, is there?" Blaine shook his head.

"I can't," he whispered. "What happened last time…I can't risk it…If anything happens to Anna or Meg…I'd never be able to live with myself…" he bit down on his inside lip, the tears building up all over again.

"I thought you might say something like that…" muttered Sebastian, not even bothering to roll his eyes in annoyance or exasperation. "What happened in your row with Cooper?" Blaine wiped his eyes and chewed the inside of his lip.

"It was- it was about mum…Cooper said that mum…she's not okay…she's living with Cooper and she- she needs money…" Sebastian's face flickered with understanding and Blaine swallowed, rubbing a hand over his face. "Cooper asked me for the money in my savings account, but- but Bastian I…" he trailed off as Sebastian reached in his pocket and pulled out Blaine's wallet.

"Have already taken it out for Oscar?" guessed Sebastian with a sly grin. Blaine stared at his boyfriend with an open mouth. Sebastian chucked the wallet onto his lap. "Though, I do have to question your sanity, walking around with that much cash." Blaine stared at him.

"How did- how did you know? I didn't tell you that! I- I didn't want you to tell me I was being stupid!" Sebastian rolled his eyes at Blaine in a long suffering manner.

"Your friend seems to think that you tell me everything, which is almost true, and he mentioned it to me." Blaine bit down on his bottom lip. "So let me guess; Cooper wants you to give the money to him for your mum, and Oscar wants you to give the money to him for Garth." Blaine nodded. Sebastian narrowed his eyes in thought. "Do they know this?" Blaine moved his head from side to side in indecision.

"Cooper knows about Oscar and Garth, but Oz doesn't know about Cooper and mum." Sebastian shook his head at that.

"No, he knows, Cooper told Emily." Blaine sighed in frustration and banged his head against the pillow.

"Damn it!" he exclaimed. "I was hoping that he wouldn't find out…Now he'll never take it!" Sebastian nodded, almost absent-mindedly, and Blaine mentally crossed his fingers, hoping that Sebastian would solve his problem for him.

"If you were to split it up, say… fifty-fifty, would they bite?" Blaine shook his head emphatically.

"No, well, Oz might but Coop wouldn't, and I promised Oz first." Sebastian sighed and his face relaxed into it's cool mask as he thought through Blaine's problem carefully.

"Well…" he said, eventually, looking straight into Blaine's eyes. "I have been having some serious trouble finding you a Christmas present this year…" Blaine stared at him, blankly, not entirely sure why Sebastian had just changed the conversation so abruptly. Sebastian caught sight of his blank, nonplussed, expression and rolled his eyes, heaving an exasperated sigh.

"What?" questioned Blaine as Sebastian shook his head, smirking to himself.

"What am I going to do with you?" he questioned and Blaine just stared at him with wide eyes. Sebastian heaved another sigh. "I will be right back," he said and got to his feet. Blaine gaped at him in confusion.

"But- but- where are you going?" Sebastian winked at him.

"I'll be back in a second," was all he said and, as Blaine continued to stare at him with wide eyes, he vanished from sight. Blaine blinked a couple of times before slipping his wallet beneath the bed covers as Emily, Oscar and Cooper came back in - Sebastian was going to sort it all out for him.

"Blaine, we need to talk to the police," said Emily, sitting down on the bed and clasping her hands. Blaine shook his head, immediately, panic begin to course through him.

"Emily, I can't! He knows- they all know where we live! Anna, Meg!" He shook his head, furiously, not noticing the twinges of pain that it sent across his neck wound. "I can't take that risk!" Emily looked at him, a mixture of pride, exasperation, love and fear. Cooper hung his head and Oscar rubbed his hands over his eyes.

"He's right," he muttered, to himself more than anyone else. "those guys…they nearly got Caz…" he shook his head and Emily looked up at the ceiling with eyes that had filled with tears of hopelessness.

"But we can't just let them run around!" exclaimed Cooper, throwing his arms towards the heavens in frustration. "They can't fucking get away with attempted murder!"

"I know!" snapped Oscar, rounding on Cooper with angry eyes.

"Then why don't you do something! Instead of just bitching at me!"

"Don't turn this on me! You still have your brother, even if you treat him like nothing!" Cooper snatched Oscar by the lapels of his jacket and thrust him against the wall. Emily let out a scream of shock. Blaine shot upwards.

"Coop!" he yelled. "Stop!" Cooper stared into Oscar with eyes that burned from fury. All his anger, guilt, frustration and fear was bursting out of him - just like back in the café - and he was seconds away from snapping and punching him. Oscar stared back at the older man, relaxed, unfazed and disdainful.

"Hit me," said Oscar, scornfully. "Go on and hit me," he let out a laugh, sneering at Cooper. "'Cause you're just like them all…you poor little boy…grow up!"

"Cooper!" Emily's breath hitched whilst Blaine screamed, sitting forward and straining at the blankets that were tucked so firmly down the sides of the bed that he couldn't lean forwards. Cooper's fists unclenched. He took several steps back. Oscar straightened his jacket.

"Grow up," he repeated. "This isn't about you." Cooper was staring down at his hands, blinking rapidly, as if he couldn't quite believe that he'd lost control again. Emily got to her feet with worry in her eyes.

"Lie down, Blaine," she said, softly, and Blaine did as he was told, heart beating fast. Cooper was breathing heavily, still staring at his hands. Oscar ran a hand over his face and then walked out of the room. Emily put a hand on Cooper's shoulder, guiding him out as Sebastian, looking mildly surprised, walked back in.

"Who died?" he questioned, rather blithely considering the situation as he sat back down on Blaine's bed. Blaine shook his head, rubbing his eyes tiredly and then stared at Sebastian, waiting for him to tell Blaine what he had planned. Sebastian rolled his eyes. "You can't guess?" he asked and Blaine sighed.

"I'm tired, Bastian, please tell me…" The smirk vanished in an instant.

"By "tired" do you mean…?" Blaine rolled his head to the side, refusing to look Sebastian in the eye, tears dancing in his own.

"I don't know, Bastian, I don't know…" Sebastian took a deep breath in and then let it out short and sharply.

"What did I tell you in Freshman year, Blaine? First day I met you, what did I say to you?" Blaine turned to look at him with a frown.

"You said a lot of things to me," Sebastian rolled his eyes to the ceiling.

"What was the last thing that I said to you?" Blaine let the silence hang over them as he cast his mind back to his first day at Dalton.

… "Blaine, Hammonds told me what you tried to do to yourself…and I don't- I don't really know what to say, but I want you to know that I'm going to do my best to give you a life that's worth living…You seem like a great guy…and we can't let your amazing voice go to waste either…"…

"Right…" he said, turning his head to look into Sebastian's serious eyes that were very old and mature. He looked a bit pale, but, Blaine considered, he knew he'd be in a similar state if anything had happened to Sebastian.

"So," said Sebastian, calmly, as if there hadn't been an interruption about them discussing Blaine's suicidal nature. "here's the deal; I owe you one Christmas present, you need to give two guys $320 dollars each because you're too nice to say no, but you don't have that much money so…I give you…" he reached into his pocket and waved a little bundle of cash in front of Blaine's face with a smirk. He dropped it onto Blaine's lap with a grin as Blaine stared at him with wide eyes. Blaine's mouth, once he'd comprehended that the situation was real, fell open.

"Bastian…" he breathed, picking it up, shaking his head. "I couldn't- you can't- I don't…" Sebastian raised an eyebrow at him.

"Really?"

"No!" exclaimed Blaine picking it up and trying to stuff it back into Sebastian's hands. "It's not- you can't do that!" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"Pray, tell me why?"

"Because!" exclaimed Blaine, waving his good arm around in frustration at the fact that Sebastian didn't understand that he couldn't just give Blaine three hundred and twenty dollars! He just couldn't! Sebastian gave him a sanctimonious nod.

"I rest my case." Blaine scowled at him.

"Take it back! Take the money back!" Sebastian raised an eyebrow, putting on a confused expression.

"Money, what money?" Blaine let out a frustrated growl.

"Your money." Sebastian rolled his eyes and picked up the money where Blaine had dropped it. Grabbing Blaine's good arm he closed Blaine's fingers around it.

"Do you understand the definition of a gift?" he asked, softly but very firmly. Blaine rolled his eyes and nodded in annoyance.

"Of course, I do, Bastian, but this…this is too much, okay?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow.

"How is it too much? I'm keeping you sane and well, that's kind of my job." Blaine huffed in annoyance at that and Sebastian raised my eyebrow. "Come on, we both know that that's true, and that you have no problems with it." Blaine closed his eyes in tired frustration.

"Bastian…"

"I'm not going to let you argue with me, Blaine, if you don't take it I'll flush it down the toilet." Blaine rolled his eyes and let out a long groan, not doubting Sebastian for a second. There was a knock on the door, before Blaine could start another argument, and Oscar stepped in. Sebastian gave him a pointed look before turning a pleasant face on Oscar. Oscar narrowed his eyes at the polite expression on Sebastian's face, but crossed the room to give Blaine a hug.

"I need to go," he muttered as he held onto Blaine tightly and Blaine hugged him back with his good arm.

"I'm glad you came," he said, quietly as he leant back into the pillows. Oscar gave him a small smile.

"Of course I came, you matter a lot to me," Blaine gave him a weak smile and tried not to glare at Sebastian who was looking very smug. "I just- I need to get back to Garth and Caz…" Blaine nodded.

"Oz…" he began but Oscar cut him off, shaking his head.

"It's okay, Blaine, if you want to give the money to Cooper that's fine with me, and what I said…I'm sorry, that was out of line, I'm just angry, and quite scared for you…" Blaine nodded as Oscar trailed off, looking old and tired.

"It's okay, Oz, someone needed to tell him to grow up, and…" he reached under the covers and pulled out the money from his wallet. "here." He handed it to Oz whose eyes went wide.

"Blaine…" he began but Blaine shook his head firmly.

"I promised you that I'd give it to you…Garth did more for me than my mum ever did, just…please don't tell Cooper." Oscar nodded, tucking the money away and then hugging Blaine again.

"I won't, and thank you, Blaine, thank you so much." Blaine smiled at him and Sebastian gave him a winning one as Oscar almost bounced out of the door with far more life than Blaine had seen since the attack. A second later Cooper came in.

"Hey Blaine…I'm going to…I'm gonna head back and fill Anna in, 'kay?" Blaine nodded.

"Okay," his hand closed around the money that Sebastian had given him. Cooper nodded at him and the awkward silence grew between the three of them. Unfazed as always, Sebastian continued to smile with a hint of superiority at Cooper. Cooper looked marginally unnerved by Sebastian's presence, like he didn't know how to react, and began to move towards the door.

"I'll see you when you make it home," Blaine nodded, watching his brother leave the room before he changed his mind.

"Wait!" he called out. Cooper stopped, letting the door swing closed as he took his weight off it. "I have something…" he beckoned Cooper over and he came, quickly. "Here." he handed the money to Cooper. Cooper stared at him.

"No, Blaine, you were right…give it to him…" Blaine shook his head.

"She's still my mum," he said, tears filling his eyes. "I want her to be okay," Cooper stared down at his little brother in wonder and disbelief. He looked down at the money, blinking quickly. Blaine gave him a small smile as Cooper reached down to hug Blaine.

"You are the best little brother," he said, clapping Blaine's shoulders. "You are the best!" Blaine smiled at his brother as he stuffed the money into his pocket. "I'll see you at home!" Blaine just smiled at his brother as he left, also with a spring in his step like the weight of the world had been removed from his shoulders. Blaine sank back, smile fading a little bit.

"Don't say anything…" he warned, not needing to look at Sebastian to see the overly smug look that had settled upon his face.

"I wasn't going to," came the haughty reply and Blaine began to laugh. Looking into Sebastian's eyes he saw the glimmer of mirth that he was doing his best to hide. Eventually the laughter came bursting out from within him and Blaine couldn't stop smiling.

"Thank you so much!" he squealed, throwing himself onto Sebastian. "Thank you!" Sebastian just held him as Blaine tried to strangle him with his hug. "I love you! You are brilliant!"

"I love you too, Blaine, but you might have to stop trying to choke me with your one hand." Blaine leaned back as Sebastian smirked down at him.

"Thank you," he repeated, feeling so relieved and uplifted that it almost didn't matter that he was in hospital. He had Emily, Oscar, Cooper and Sebastian. He had his Dalton friends. He had Anna and Megan.

"I look after you, Blaine, 'cause God only knows what'll happen if you're on your own." Blaine laughed. "But you owe me one giant present." Blaine felt his mouth drop open as he laughed in disbelief.

"You've got me!" Sebastian narrowed his eyes, pulling a face of indecision.

"I've had you for two years…I want something new." Blaine whacked his arm as he continued to laugh.

"Bastian!"

---

They kept him in that night for observation, but he was fine and he came home yesterday. Dad got in touch with the police, but they're not taking it seriously - kids fight all the time, they just don't get it. Finn slept quite a bit yesterday, and that was fine, but today…Carole and Burt have both had to dash to work and so I'm looking after him. It's not a big deal, I took care of my dad after all, but I'm kind of nervous. We haven't spoken about what happened to him, not yet, but what if he asks me why? Can I tell him what Karofsky did?

"Are you sure you're okay?" asked Kurt and Finn rolled his eyes.

"I'm fine, my head aches a little bit but otherwise I'm totally fine Kurt, I swear." Kurt nodded and sat down on the edge of the couch near Finn's feet.

"I'm sorry, I'm just a bit worried about you." Finn grinned at him from where he was propped up on a mound of cushions. "After all you just charged in there and got knocked out." Finn gave him a smile as Kurt suddenly kicked himself.

Way to bring up the topic you wanted to avoid, Kurt!

Finn just settled down into the cushions and grinned at Kurt again. Kurt knew that Finn was in a pretty good mood after his conversation with Burt - Kurt had never thought how much Burt approving of Finn had meant to him as his own relationship with Carole had flowed so naturally - and guessed that him getting hurt didn't really bother him anymore.

"I was just trying to make sure you were okay…looked like I arrived at just the right moment." he added, and Kurt swallowed, remembering Karofsky's raised fist, his own vulnerable position.

"Yeah, well, thanks, again." Finn shook his head and then winced a little bit.

"It's fine, I mean, you have no idea how much I freaked out when he said that you were with Karofsky. I was convinced that he was going to kill you, and I thought it was all my fault! I was so scared for you that I didn't even have time to worry about Burt shredding me to pieces for letting him taking you in the first place!" Kurt knew that it was meant to be funny, but he could only feel a little bit of him that wanted to laugh.

"Yeah, well, I know my dad's a fearsome person," they both laughed a little bit awkwardly at that, both remembering the night in the basement.

"Kurt," began Finn, after a moment of peaceful quiet. "can I ask you something?" Kurt looked over at him and just knew what was coming next.

"Yes…?" he said, hesitantly. Finn shifted and frowned down at Kurt from his almost upright position.

"Can I ask you what Karofsky wanted? I mean, he didn't want to hurt you, but…what did he want to do with you? I mean, he didn't kidnap you because he wants to say sorry…is he going to keep coming after you? Is he trying to threaten you? I mean, what's going on?" Kurt looked at him and his mind made itself up.

He's worried about me and I do know that he can keep a secret - he kept what Keats said a secret, after all…

"Can I tell you something if you swear not to tell anyone else, especially my dad?" Finn shifted himself up, looking worried.

"Of course…" he looked at Kurt and seemed to sense how scared and unsure Kurt was about telling him the truth. "I swear on my dad's ashes that I'll never tell a soul." Kurt felt himself choke up at that.

"Thank you," he said, quietly, and Finn just nodded, waiting for Kurt to start talking. "I lied," he said, honestly. "about why Karofsky tried to kill me, and where he did that. I told you that he threatened to kill me in the locker rooms, but that's not true…he threatened to kill me because of what happened in the locker rooms." He glanced up at Finn and saw that he was listening intently. Finn nodded, asking him to continue when he was ready. Kurt closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'd been reading this stuff on the Dalton website about how prejudice was just ignorance and how that the bullies were in the wrong and how the most important thing to have was to have courage and stay strong and know that there was nothing wrong with you…" he took another breath, allowing the silence to grow until it was awkward. "and one day Karofsky shoved me into a locker and I decided to have courage." Finn sat upright a little bit more, looking afraid, perhaps sensing that this was going somewhere terrible as opposed to just bad.

"I chased after him and called him out. I asked him why he was bullying me. I told him that he could hit me and that it wouldn't change me-"

"Did he?" Kurt shook his head.

"No…" Finn didn't sag in relief though and Kurt could see that his brain was whirring around trying to find something that was worse. "I called him names and he told me not to push him and he…he kissed me… and I- I…" Kurt broke off, tears popping up in his eyes. "He went back for another but I pushed him away, and he threatened to kill me if I told anyone, and I…I really thought he would…" Kurt looked over Finn and saw that his face was a hard mask of anger.

"I'm going to kill him." he said, softly. "I'm going to fucking kill him!" he tried to get to his feet, but got tangled in the sheets and slipped, thankfully hitting the carpet. Kurt got to his feet in worry and helped him back onto the sofa.

"No, please, don't…I- I've only told Blaine what happened, Finn, I just- please don't do anything, please." Finn looked angry, but Kurt could see that he could not think of anything else he could possibly do.

"Kurt, I'm so sorry." he said and Kurt shook his head.

"It's okay, Finn, there's- there's nothing you could have done." he shrugged. "He came up to me in the shop and we just started talking. He told me that his dad made him get a job because he thought the Footballers were a bad influence and I agreed, but whenever I mentioned the word "gay" he told me to shut up." Kurt shrugged. "He asked me how Dalton was I said it was great and that he'd have been expelled if he'd, you know, kissed me." Finn nodded.

"Yeah, of course, shit!" Finn looked at him in hurt anguish. "Why does all the shit things happen to you?" he asked, with an incredulous frown. "I mean, you lost your mum and you got bullied really badly and you got heartbroken and shit…and you got forcibly kissed twice, and your life threatened! I mean, how do you do it?" Kurt stared at him blankly for a moment before shrugging.

"I don't know Finn, I just…I just knew that there wasn't anything wrong with me and that I had a right to be who I was; it still wore me down and affected me, but…" he shrugged. "I don't know, I just did." Finn nodded.

"Okay, man, I was so right about you being a man…" Kurt laughed a little with him. "You want to tell me more?" he asked, cautiously and Kurt nodded.

"Yeah, I'm okay to do that."

"Sure?" Kurt gave him a very stern look.

"I can handle it." he assured him, perhaps a little sharply. "So then the manager came over and asked us to take it outside and he led me away into the bathroom. He asked me how I knew he'd be expelled and I said that he wasn't the only arsehole in the world and he told me that he thought if I went away he would be able to breathe again, but that's not the case, and…" Kurt broke off. "I told him he needed help…and he- he likes me, Finn," Finn stared at him incomprehension for half a second before his jaw dropped.

"He wants to go out with you?" he questioned like he couldn't quite believe that that could possibly be true. Kurt nodded.

"He- he said that he thought I knew he wouldn't hurt him because he hadn't yet…" Finn raised his eyebrows in disbelief, but didn't say anything. "And I told him that it didn't matter that he hadn't punched me…I said that he'd emotionally hurt me and I just…I lost it. I told him about Charles. I told him that he was selfish and stupid and I…I made a stupid mistake!" Finn frowned at him.

"How?" Kurt rolled his eyes, sinking against the sofa back.

"I put up my hands and I…I turned my back on him…" he shook his head, amazed by his own stupidity. "He grabbed me and spun me round. He had his fist clenched and I thought that he was going to punch me, but then he lowered it and asked me why I don't ever shut up and I said that the more you shout the more people hear you and I found that listened and cared. He asked if this was Dalton and he asked where were they and I said that they lived in other states and he asked if they'd come and beat him up and I…" he broke off, watching Finn's face falling into a frown.

"Of course they would, right? I mean with the Charles dude they…" he trailed off in understanding. There had been no impassioned charge. There hadn't even been any anger. There had been a lot of tears and even more rule following. "Shit." muttered Finn and Kurt nodded.

"He said I should come back to McKinley because they got into fights for me and asked if he was going to hit me, and then you burst in…" Finn nodded, swallowing and looking pissed off. Kurt rubbed a hand over his eyes and watched Finn as he struggled to find anything to say. He knew that Finn wasn't going to tell anyone, but he was still worried. Finn ruffled up his hair.

"Man, I'm glad I found you…" he muttered. Kurt looked over at him, frowning a little bit.

"How did you do that?" he asked. Finn shrugged, shaking his head.

"I don't know…I remember wondering whether it was twenty minutes yet so I walked over to shop and I couldn't see you and I was a little worried so I asked the manager if he'd seen you and he said yes and that you'd gone with Karofsky," he broke off, taking a huge breath in. "I remember freaking out and dropping all the shopping and demanded to know where you'd gone…I ran out and I…" Finn frowned, rubbing his forehead. Then he shook his head. "I don't remember…" Kurt sighed and shook his head.

"I guess it doesn't matter," Finn swallowed, biting the inside of his lip.

"You know what you said, about the Dalton guys, you don't think- what do you think?" Kurt sighed, almost unwilling to answer that question.

"I think that they pity me, I think they feel that they have to look after me, I think they look down on me, and…I don't think they care…well, Keats cares, Juri cares, the rest…the Warblers…" he shook his head. "They don't care about me." Finn frowned at him, looking sad.

"That was just Karofsky, man, he was trying to get to you." Kurt shook his head, a forced smile on his lips.

"No, he's not smart enough to attack me like that. I think he was seeing how much danger he was in. I think he was trying to work out how far he could push me before he'd get a reaction from someone else. Karofsky only responds to violence, and intimidation, I guess." Finn looked at him, still with a sad expression on his face.

"You still got us, Kurt, the New Directions, Mr Schue, you got us." Kurt nodded, curling up his legs.

"I know," he replied. "I know…"

…but it's not the same…I felt like I belonged in Dalton. I belonged and I didn't have to worry about being slusheed or shoved into a locker or called names…It's never going to be the same now…Never.

Finn yawned widely, rubbing his eyes again. Kurt shot him a look through narrowed eyes and Finn smiled guiltily at him. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Get some rest," he said, in a tired voice. "You look like you need it." Finn grinned at him and obediently leant his head against the pillow, quickly drifting off to sleep. Kurt shook his head at Finn and then got to his feet, thinking that he might as well go up to his room.

Ding dong!

Kurt threw down the old magazine that he'd been reading; the headline bore the title Beware the Bird-Eater and explained, in great length, the story of Cameron Gaylin and his apparent obsession with eating his pet budgies, and frowned.

The doorbell went again and so Kurt, with a tired sigh, got off his bed and dashed down the stairs before the sound could rouse Finn from his slumbers. Looking through the glass of the door he saw the outline of a relatively tall, bulky, figure and opened it with a deep frown.

"Hey Kurt!" Kurt blinked in shock as he looked at Jeff who was standing on his doorstep, wrapped up against the cold, and grinning.

"Hey…" he said, confused and taken aback. "What are you- what are you doing here?" he questioned, unaware that Jeff even knew where he lived. "How do you know where I live?" Jeff stamped his feet.

"Can we do this inside?" he asked. "'Cause I think I'm loosing the feeling in my feet." Kurt blinked at him once more before nodding and stepping backwards, letting him in. Jeff peeled off his outer layers and then turned to Kurt with a wide grin. "It's good to see you're okay." Kurt blinked and then shook his head.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he questioned, unable to believe that - after studiously ignoring him - Jeff could just turn up here with a grin and pretend that they were best friends. Jeff frowned in offence.

"Sebastian sent me," he said with only a little hint of a grin.

"Why?" demanded Kurt, folding his arms.

"He got the messages you sent to Blaine and, because I'm the only person in the area, he asked me to come down and check on you." Kurt stared at him in disbelief. He wasn't sure what to be more shocked about; the fact that Jeff apparently lived in the area - he'd given Kurt the impression he lived in New York - or the fact that Sebastian had sent him to check on Kurt.

"You live here? I thought you lived in New York?" Jeff shrugged.

"Yeah, I do, but I spend Christmas at Dalton." Kurt raised his eyebrows at that.

"Really?" Jeff nodded, smiling a little bit more again. "Isn't that really depressing?" Jeff pulled a face, shaking his head.

"I don't know, I like Christmas at Dalton, beats being with the biological family." Kurt raised an eyebrow at him and Jeff sighed, rolling his eyes. "I have my Dalton family and my biological family - my mum." Kurt nodded, swallowing down the distaste that he felt at that. "Anyway, Karofsky…what happened? Are you okay? You said Finn was attacked, is he okay?" Kurt blinked at him, trying to get his head together before nodding.

"Yeah, I'm fine, and Finn's asleep in the front room. He banged his head quite badly but he's going to be fine." Jeff deflated as he let out a great sigh of relief, grinning at Kurt again.

"Oh, good, 'cause you sounded alright - well, you were shaken, but know what I mean - and we weren't really sure what you meant when you said Finn had been "attacked"…I was envisioning lots of blood. Oh thank god." Kurt narrowed his eyes at him.

"Is there actually something you want?" Jeff blinked at him, face falling into one of saddened confusion. He suddenly looked incredibly baleful and his eyes had become wide and like those of a plaintive puppy. Kurt groaned mentally.

"I wanted to see if you were okay. I prayed all the way over here that you were both safe." Kurt snorted at that, not in the mood for any religion, and looked at Jeff in disdain.

"If you really wanted to know if I was okay you would have responded to my emails, or checked in on me when it actually happened - not two days later." Jeff frowned at him like he had no idea what Kurt was talking about.

"I'm sorry about that, but Sebastian only got to Blaine this morning so he only just picked up the message. The moment I heard I got in the car, I'm sorry, but, Blaine…" he trailed off his face paling.

"Blaine, what?" demanded Kurt, angry with the boy that he was meant to be friend.

And who you want to be your boyfriend, said an annoying voice in his head and Kurt closed his eyes, begging himself to have patience in this frustrating situation.

"Didn't you hear?" asked Jeff, looking shocked. "He got attacked! Holt tried to kill him!" Kurt's face slackened in panicked shock. His breathing stopped.

"What?" Jeff nodded, looking scared and worried and more than a little bit freaked out.

"Yeah, apparently he had a row with Cooper and he ran out into Matt and Damien, and they told him to run, but he didn't and then Greg and Holt came and started beating the crap out of him! He got a dislocated arm and- and-" Jeff stopped, forcing himself to breathe and calm down. "and the knife sliced the skin of his neck! He could have been killed!" Kurt felt the world spin around him. He didn't know who any of the people were - excepting Cooper - but that didn't matter. What mattered was that Blaine had- Blaine had nearly died!

No! That's not- that's not possible! When did this happen? Is he alright? Oh no, I feel so guilty. I thought that Blaine had something against me. I never considered that something might have happened to him! I knew it was so out of character!

"Is he going to be alright?" he choked out, eventually, and Jeff shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know, he's not awake…Sebastian didn't sound overly worried, but then it's Sebastian and he's good at hiding how he feels…" Kurt swallowed, trying to not panic, and attempting to force himself to believe that Blaine was going to be alright.

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" he asked, head still reeling a little bit. Jeff frowned at him, pouting his lips in thought.

"I don't know…you should have gotten the message…we-" he broke off, mouth dropping open a little bit as he stared at Kurt. Then he slapped a palm against his forehead. "D'oh!" he exclaimed. "We didn't add you to our private email!" Kurt raised an eyebrow and Jeff sighed. "At the end of Freshman year we made secret email accounts because Keats-" he broke off, looking at Kurt warily. "he knew our email addresses and some stuff happened."

"What?"

"Sorry, can't tell, but bad stuff happened," he shivered. "So we made new ones and we meant to give you one, but we must have forgotten! That's why we didn't reply to your emails…well, I guess Juri and Trinity did because it didn't happen to them." Kurt frowned at him.

"So, who is on this?" Jeff looked up at the ceiling in thought.

"Me, Blaine, Nick, Flint, David, Wes, Sebastian, Thad…Liam, I think…" Kurt raised an eyebrow at that.

"That's it?" Jeff nodded, shrugging.

"It's not like we can contact Chris or Fred or Drew in the holidays anyway so we didn't bother with them. Trinity would never join and Juri's so far away we don't tend to contact him - not with his sister…" Jeff shuddered. Kurt remained unimpressed. If they had really wanted to add him to their stupid little web thing they would have remembered, or, better still, just have given him those email addresses in the first place.

"Why didn't you just tell me those email addresses?" he demanded and Jeff stared, blankly at him in confusion.

"Um…" he mumbled, frowning. "I have no idea…that would have been a good idea, wouldn't it?" he shook his head and then pulled a guilty expression. "Sorry, but no harm done, right?" Kurt glared at Jeff, finding the boy to be increasingly annoying. Did he not understand that Kurt had needed the Dalton boys when Karofsky had happened?

"No there was harm done!" he snapped. "I needed you all when Karofsky attacked me! I was on my own and I needed your help!" and Kurt felt stupid and pathetic for admitting it, but Jeff was acting like it was all fine when it wasn't. "And you couldn't be bothered to check your emails or tell me that you were in the area!" Jeff's face remained incredibly passive at that. Then he shrugged.

"I'm truly sorry, Kurt, with God as my witness I whole-heartedly apologise, but I didn't tell you because I assumed that you knew. Besides, I had no intention of leaving Dalton this holiday because Bea and Lottie needed - need - me." Kurt glared at him, not just because of the amount of times Jeff kept bringing up God, but because he seemed to be insinuating that Kurt mattered less then Beatrice and the sister of guy who had attacked him!

"I don't care who you have as your witness! Just because I haven't been your friend for as long and don't know everything about you doesn't mean that I don't matter!" Jeff's eyes widened and a look of offended shock came upon his face.

"I didn't say that!" he exclaimed, voice getting higher in pitch. "I just meant that I didn't know something like this would happen to you, especially as you have all your friends from McKinley, and so I didn't think it was important to tell you that I was staying at Dalton! I assumed you just knew from being around us!" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Yes, it's all about you!"

"Well as far as I can tell you're the one throwing a temper tantrum over nothing!" Kurt felt his blood boil with white hot rage at that. How dare Jeff say that it was nothing! Karofsky had threatened Kurt's life! He had landed Finn in hospital! How dare he say that that was nothing!

"It was not nothing! He landed Finn in hospital!"

"And he's going to be fine! So he got a bump on the head, so what? You're both fine! At least you're not being beaten by your parents like Bea was! At least you've got a nice home unlike Fred! At least your family isn't falling to pieces and dying like Chris'! At least you've got each other and all your friends unlike Drew who is being shunned! At least you have a family that loves you unlike me!" Kurt took several paces backwards as Jeff screamed the last sentence, voice ripping with pain, anger and jealousy. Jeff breathed heavily, his face saying that he was ashamed for loosing his temper - and, probably, for letting slip all those things - and Kurt had nothing to say to him.

"I-" he faltered, not sure what to say. Suddenly he felt very small. Constantly, wherever he went at Dalton, he had people telling him that his life was so much better than everyone else's. He understood that he could have it worse off - he knew that is father was one in a million - but that didn't mean what he'd been through was small and insignificant. It had wrecked Kurt's life. Kurt had been on his own. He'd been scared. That mattered!

Jeff ran a hand through his hair and closed his eyes. He rested his hands, clasped together, against nose. He took a deep breath in and out, seemingly composing himself. Kurt watched him as he continued to breathe, steadily, and wondered how Finn had not been awoken by the noise.

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned." he muttered. "I have broken an oath." Kurt arched his eyebrow.

"I don't think that that will help you," Jeff opened his eyes and looked at Kurt.

"You would think wrong, Kurt. I broke an oath I made to Bea and Ros. I swore on the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit that I wouldn't tell anyone about what her parents did to her…I broke that; I have sinned." Kurt stared at him in disbelief. Jeff, who had lost his father because of religion, was praying to the same God that the hijackers believed in. He was praying to the God that they'd killed his father in the name of.

"You do know that what you're doing is insane, don't you?" Jeff stared at him blankly.

"Um, what is "insane" about praying and asking forgiveness?" Kurt rolled his eyes.

"Because the God that you're praying to is the reason that your father - your real one - is dead." Jeff looked down at his clasped hands and then back up at Kurt.

"And your point is?" Kurt stared at him, eyes wide and unable to comprehend that Jeff didn't see how completely stupid that was.

"My point is that why are you asking for forgiveness from some guy who sat up on a cloud in the sky and let your father be murdered in his name?" Jeff shrugged.

"I don't believe that you should fight and kill in the name of God, Kurt, and I also don't think that he's sitting on a cloud in the sky. I don't believe that he has a physical manifestation; he is an omnipresent, omniscient, being. Just because my dad is dead because of what some people think doesn't mean that it's His fault. There will always be people who think differently and believe different things. I believe in a God of peace and love."

"Yes, so loving that he thinks gays should burn in Hell." Jeff shook his head, looking at Kurt with something akin to pity.

"Just because I believe in God doesn't mean I think being gay is wrong. Lots of people don't think that. There are a lot of religious people at Dalton and none of them have a problem with gay people. Both Flint and Blaine believe in God and they are gay, and, as far as I know, neither of them think that who they love is a sin." Kurt stared at him in disbelief.

"Blaine believes in God?" he demanded, incredulously. Jeff nodded.

"Yes, he does, and there's nothing wrong with that. God gives me something that is stable and unchanging. I have faith, I have reassurance and I have…" he broke off, frowning. "Everybody believes in something Kurt, be it a God or something else…We all need to believe in something." Kurt shook his head.

"I don't believe in God," Jeff rolled his eyes.

"You're not listening; you don't have to believe in God, you believe in something! You believe that you have a right to be gay; I believe that God loves everyone. You believe that your father will take care of you and provide you shelter; I believe that if I am truly in need God will be there for me in whatever way." Kurt shook his head.

"It's not the same. I do have a right to be gay and my dad is real." Jeff shook his head.

"I feel sorry for you," he said, softly and sadly. "I'll give you a piece of advice, though, Kurt; don't talk like that at Dalton, it will be construed as intolerance and you'll get expelled. I'm sorry I bothered to stop by."

The door slammed shut and Kurt was left feeling very unfilled and more than a little bit confused. Normally it left him with a good feeling to point out to other people that the fact that they believed in something that just couldn't be real, but Jeff hadn't even gotten angry over it. He had been completely fine with Kurt mocking him - well, not fine with it, but… He'd been more upset when Kurt had insinuated that he was selfish or egotistical.

I don't understand Jeff Sterling. Then again, I thought that I was past trying to understand the Dalton boys. I should have stuck to my initial idea to not contact them much. Still, after a day or two it got quiet. I just wanted to talk…I don't know anything about them…They know so much about me…Poor Bea, Fred, Chris, Drew…I know how it feels when your family falls apart and you loose someone so I really feel sorry for Chris, and Jeff…Blaine…I should really ought to listen to them more…

---

"Guys, please stop! Forget school, you could be arrested! He's going to tell!"…

"No, he wont."…

"Barnaby!"…

"Sebastian…"…

"Sorry…" …

"Barnaby…Matt's right…we shouldn't- we can't-"…

"He ruined my life!"…

"You can't murder him! Beat him up, yeah, he deserves that, but murder! We'll get life!"…

"Everything will be more fucked up if we do!"…

"Let's just run now! He knows not to tell! He knows if he fucks with you again you will do it!"…

"Let's just run!"…

"Now!"…

"Blaine?…Oi, you fuckheads!"…

"Run!"…

"Blaine! Blaine! Fuck! Stay with me! Stay with me brother!"…

"BLAINE!" Blaine jolted upright, soaked with sweat, heart pounding. He flailed his arms, fists colliding with a solid chest. "Blaine, stop, it's alright! It's me."

"Coop?" he cried out, tears already pouring down his wet face.

"Yeah, buddy, it's just me." Blaine pressed his face into Cooper's shoulder that was covered with a thin cotton t-shirt, allowing his tears to dribble into the soft fabric as his back rose and fell as he sobbed as quietly as he possibly could. He gripped his hands into material, clenching his fists and trying to stop the tears that just fell and fell.

"Cooper…" he whispered, begging his older brother to chase the nightmares away like he had when they were little.

"Don't worry, I brought my baseball bat," he said and Blaine let out a choked laugh that was almost lost in a sob. "I'm here to chase away the monsters that I made, again." At any other moment Blaine would tell his brother that it wasn't his fault, tell him that he was stupid for blaming himself for Holt's twisted nature and tell him to snap out of it, but he was overwhelmed and quite happy for Cooper to wallow in his own bad feelings like Blaine.

"Will you tell me the story?" he asked, feeling like he was six not sixteen and Cooper laughed out loud before replying.

"Sure, but I don't tell it like mum did."

"I don't care…" said Blaine, tearfully and Cooper lay down next to his brother, propping them both against the headboard.

"Okay…Once upon a time there were two boys in an apple yard. One of them was tall and strong whilst the other was small and fast. Everyday the picked apples. The tall one would pluck them from the branches whilst the small one ran around and caught them in a wicker basket. When the day ended they'd walk up the hill and then down the hill-"

"-and then up the hill and down the hill-" "-

"-and then up the mountain and down the mountain-"

"-and then up the mountain and down the mountain-"

"-until the arrived by a lake. The tall one would jump into the lake and the small one would jump onto his hands and then across with the apples. He'd pull the tall one onto the bank and they'd walk through the forest."

"The dark forest." interjected Blaine and Cooper rolled his eyes.

"Right, they'd walk through the dark forest. There was a path and they stayed on it, putting one foot in front of the other. Over and over and over and over and over and over and-"

"-over and over and over and over and over and over." Cooper grinned down at his little brother who had his eyes closed but was smiling.

"When they were halfway through the woods an old hag appeared-"

"Boo!"

"-everyday and she asked the children;"

"Oh won't you come with me?"

"And the children said;"

"Not on our lives."

"So the witch asked;"

"Would you like some cookies?"

"And the children replied;"

"Not on our lives;"

"And so the witch, who was beyond desperate, said;"

"Are you afraid of me?"

"And the children turned their noses up and shouted;"

"NOT ON OUR LIVES!"

"And they danced around her and back down the path putting on foot in front of the other. Over and over and over and over and over and over and-"

"-over and over and over and over and over and over."

"When they made their way out of the woods they came to a field of corn. They had to run through it in a zig-zag pattern because of the farmers who hated the children because they thought they were stealing corn but they weren't because they were both honest and hardworking. They dodged the farmers who brandished their pitchforks and yelled;"

"GET OFF OF ME CORN!" Both brothers laughed at Blaine's terrible attempted at some sort of accent. Blaine had colour back in his cheeks and he felt relaxed and safe.

"They didn't drop a single apple and soon they were home and dry. A long field of low cut grass lay before them and they ran as fast as they could. They were evenly matched as the taller one had longer legs but the smaller one was faster. They burst through the door at the same time. Their mother was baking apple pie from the apples that they had picked the day before. She turned to them with a wide smile and the smell of apple pie and clematis. Both boys opened their mouths and shouted at the same time;"

"I LOVE YOU!"

"And she said back to them that I love you more." The two brothers smiled at each other and Cooper reached down and hugged his little, smaller and faster brother. Blaine rested his head against Cooper's chest and heard his heart thumping loudly and steadily.

"I'm sorry about what I said about mum," said Blaine, a single tear running out of the corner of his eye. "I really miss her, but, Coop, I'm sorry but I don't- I don't think I want her back…" Cooper sighed and nodded.

"It's okay, Blaine, I understand…you have Emily and you're scared that she's going to leave again, so am I. That's why I really want to do this for her. I want to respect me and love me and know that I'm there for her, and then, maybe, she'll stay…" Blaine swallowed.

"I don't want to talk to her right now, Coop, I'm tired and I'm scared and I don't want to risk getting even more hurt." Cooper nodded again.

"Yeah, I understand…I'm scared too…" Blaine raised his head in shock to look into Cooper's sad eyes.

"What are you scared of?" he asked, softly, unable to imagine that his brother was scared of anything.

"I'm scared that I'm going to turn into something worse than dad," he admitted, swallowing down a lump in his throat. Blaine shook his head but Cooper carried on speaking before Blaine could interject. "I hit you, Blaine. I hit my little brother. I'm meant to look after you and protect you and I know I don't do those things but I've never done anything worse to you then tell you suck when, sometimes, you really do!"

"There are people worse than dad out there," said Blaine, quietly. "People like Holt, people like…" his throat closed up.

The scars across his chest were a criss-crossed pattern of angry red marks. They mapped the outline of his abs and each rib that protruded from his skin and rose and fell with each shaking breath. A red "x" had been drawn over his heart. The straight line that ran from his sternum down through his belly button and stopped just above the waist band was scabbed over. The skin that was not red was a yellow-brown as the bruises continued to fade. Bleeding from where the crusted coating had been torn away in anguish was the word across his breast; MINE…

"There are worse people out there." he repeated, pulling his mind from the vivid, horrifying, memory. Cooper sighed and banged his head against the headboard.

"I know, but…I don't want to be worse than dad. Your friend was right…I need to grow up, before I hurt you again or Anna or Meg…"

"You wouldn't hurt them," said Blaine with a serious tone to his voice. "You slapped me because I was insulting mum. I'm bigger than them, we've always fought. It was only natural."

"Don't defend me!" he spat out, self-loathing heavy in his voice. "I was wrong. It can't be justified, Blaine, it can't be!" Blaine was about to counter him, try and make him see sense, but the door flew open.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" screamed Anna and Meg, flipping on the lights, both dressed in their pyjamas with tinsel wrapped around their necks. All traces of flu had vanished from Meg and she threw herself onto Cooper as Blaine sat up and hugged Anna.

"Merry Christmas!" he said, grinning, having forgot that it was Christmas today. Cooper groaned as Meg plonked herself onto his knees and Anna hauled her stocking onto the bed.

"Look what I got!" exclaimed Meg, up ending hers and sending the contents flying everyone as she shook it to make it all come out.

"Woah! Good haul!" exclaimed Cooper, once he'd lowered his hands so that a toy didn't go flying into his eye.

"Would you like some chocolate?" asked Anna, extending the open bag of chocolate coins to Blaine. Blaine grinned and pinched one.

"I would love chocolate!" he exclaimed, opening the wrapping whilst Cooper stole Meg's chocolate orange and held it above his head as she tried to grab it. "What time is it?"

"Eight!" said Anna nonchalantly as she examined a wooden puzzle that their dad had given her. Blaine's eyebrows jumped up his face and he shared a shocked look with Cooper.

"Eight?" repeated Cooper, incredulously. "Eight?" Meg nodded, seriously. "What the hell happened to getting up at five-thirty?"

"We were up at six," explained Anna, handing Blaine a hairbrush and band, clearly wanting him to plait her hair.

"Mummy told us not to disturb Blaine," said Meg with a very serious look on her face. "He needs lots and lots of sleep. I saved this for you." she added, handing Blaine a neatly wrapped present. Blaine grinned down at his little sister.

"Thanks Meg!"

"What did you save for me?" demanded Cooper, tickling Meg so that she emitted shrieks of laughter. Blaine tore off the paper, temporarily abandoning Anna's hair, and found a little Lindt reindeer.

"Oh thank you Meg," he said, reaching over to hug her. He peeled away the golden wrapping and divided it into four pieces, giving the larger three to his siblings. Popping the head of the reindeer into his mouth he went back to plaiting Anna's hair whilst Meg talked nineteen to the dozen about the little things that she'd got in her stocking. Tying the little ribbon with the bell on it around Anna's hair band so that there was a tinkling every time she moved her head he was almost knocked off the bed by Meg leaping at him and showing him the little notepad that had musical notes around the edge.

It was a tight fit for all four of them to be on Blaine's bed, but somehow they managed to not fall onto the floor. Within half an hour all the chocolate was eaten and they were buzzing with energy and excitement. Cooper still managed to behave like a giant kid as he tossed the little bouncy ball that Anna had received between him and her whilst Meg was in the middle, trying to grab it whilst Blaine attempted to make sure no one sustained any serious injury.

"Kids," Emily's head came poking through the door at nine and neither Blaine nor Cooper objected to being called a kid. "you can come downstairs." Anna and Meg were out of the door as fast they possibly could be, but Blaine and Cooper left the bed with more trepidation. Blaine shrugged on his dressing gown and embraced Emily tightly. Cooper hugged her too and the three of them stood in the doorway.

"What's dad like?" asked Cooper, quietly. Emily shook her head.

"Quiet, just like he has been since the attack," Blaine looked at his socked feet.

"Should I speak to him?" he asked and Emily shook her head again.

"No darling, just leave it be, come downstairs and enjoy Christmas." Blaine tried to walk downstairs and not think about the fact that almost exactly two years ago he'd tried to commit suicide. The front room, with it's tree and decorations, had already been filled with the smell of gingerbread, and Anna and Meg were both munching on their "breakfast". Cooper and Blaine both walked in awkwardly and took up the little men and avoided their father's gaze.

Slumping down onto the same sofa the two brothers exchanged looks that asked for strength to get through the morning. Neither brother had actually bought their father a Christmas present after the disastrous trip into the shopping centre, but they weren't exactly sure that he knew that.

However, very quickly, it didn't matter as Anna and Meg were ripping off the wrapping paper of their gifts and squealing and hugging people every second. Anna had nearly suffocated Blaine when he'd given her his old guitar and Meg succeeded in knocking Blaine off the couch after she'd realised that he'd bought her the strange toy monkey thing that banged cymbals together.

Both Blaine and Cooper had acquired several knew sweaters and ties from their father and Emily. Anna had bought Blaine a book that contained the sheet music from various Disney films and Meg had given him a strange, lumpy, thing that he quickly realised was a penguin that she'd sowed together herself. Cooper had gotten a robin and had quickly made a game of trying to balance it on his head.

"You should sing something Blaine," said Cooper after Blaine had handed him a plain notebook because he had no idea what to buy him. "Make up for the crappy gift." Blaine rolled his eyes and looked pointedly at the scarf that Cooper had bought that was bright pink and had flowers on it. "What?" he said, defensively. "You like scarves and flowers!" Blaine rolled his eyes and looked over at Emily who glanced at their father's passive face and then nodded.

"Go on, Blaine, sing us something!" He got to his feet with a grin and made his way over to the stereo. He flicked through the many CDs that they owned until he found one of Christmas hits. He slotted it in and turned it on low. The familiar, tinkling, intro sounded and he spun around with a grin as Emily pulled out the video camera.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

He sang effortlessly over Mariah Carey's voice with a gingerbread man as fake microphone, putting on an over-exaggerated face of desperate longing. Cooper was pressing his mouth together very hard so that he didn't burst out laughing. Anna was grinning up at him and Emily had gathered up Meg into her arms and they both were holding the camera together whilst watching him with wide, expectant, eyes that shone with happiness and pleasure.

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

The moment the drums kicked in Cooper was on his feet. He lifted up Anna and spun her around and around as Blaine threw the gingerbread man over towards Meg, and she caught it in her slightly chubby fist.

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

Blaine vaulted over the sofa back with a wide grin on his face as he came to land by Cooper who was dancing with Anna in the midst of the mounds of discarded wrapping paper.

And I don't care about the presents

They chimed in with the backing vocals, clicking their fingers and singing into imaginary microphones and Emily laughed at the sight of Cooper and Anna singing together as Cooper towered above her.

Underneath the Christmas tree

The three of them danced around the Christmas tree with a skip in their step and wide grins upon their faces. They kicked up the wrapping paper and Cooper grabbed Anna around the middle, whirling her round and round so fast that she became a blur and Blaine tried to keep singing along whilst he laughed because he felt light and free and like he could do absolutely anything in the world.

I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

He beckoned to Meg with his hands and she leapt, happily, from her mother's lap and right into Blaine's arms, knocking him backwards. Cooper, with Anna attached to his leg, tried to catch him but it was too late and the four of them fell onto the wrapping paper, the wind knocked out of them and Blaine struggled to keep singing.

Oh I won't ask for much this Christmas

I won't even wish for snow

He remembered with a grin the delight that he felt when he'd thrust the balled up missile of snow into Sebastian's face as the flakes fell around them and felt laughter bubble up out of them at the look of shocked, stunned disbelief on Sebastian's face.

And I'm just gonna keep on waiting

Underneath the mistletoe

He could remember the feel of Sebastian's arm winding around his waist, pulling him under a clump of mistletoe and kissing him before Blaine even had a chance to notice the plant was hovering in the doorway, but he simply hooked his arms around Sebastian's neck and smiled into the kiss.

I won't make a list and send it

To the North Pole for Saint Nick

I won't even stay awake to

Hear those magic reindeer click

He leapt back onto his feet and helped Meg click her fingers whilst Cooper showered glitter upon them, and Anna giggled and shredded the white paper up so that it rained down upon them like snow. His father still looked remarkably passive about the whole situation, but Emily was laughing and trying to hold the video camera straight.

'Cause I just want you here tonight

Holding on to me so tight

What more can I do?

Baby all I want for Christmas is you

Cooper never sang back up for Blaine but he was now, bending down and encouraging Meg to sing as loud as she could. Anna was still trying make it snow indoors and Blaine had to laugh at her as she showered it down upon her father and only earned a mildly annoyed look for what Blaine would have been yelled at and banished to his room.

Oh all the lights are shining

So brightly everywhere

He remembered walking into gym with his arm hooked into Garth's and seeing the spinning disco ball that cast spots of white light onto the walls and floor and all the streamers and decorations.

And the sound of children's

Laughter fills the air

He remembered them getting tangled in a mess as they tried to dance and how they laughed and laughed in each others arms at their terrible attempts to dance and how excited they were that no one cared they were together.

And everyone is singing

I hear those sleigh bells ringing

They way he'd sung the lyrics of the songs to Garth, feeling completely able to be free and who he was as Garth clicked his fingers, clapped his hands and stomped his feet along with the music.

Santa won't you bring me the one I really need?

And when they walked out, arms around each others shoulders and he remembered his heart exploding inside his chest when Garth's lips brushed against his cheek for a split second.

Won't you please bring my baby to me?

Then he'd turned around, staring at his friend, both of them grinning, and flung his arms around his shoulders, gripping his back and they both laughed as Garth lifted him from his feet and they stayed, holding each other, swaying from side to side.

He tore himself from his good memories of Garth in time to catch Meg after she'd spun to him by Cooper. Anna danced away and Cooper caught hold of her hands and danced her around in circles. Blaine saw that their dad still had a passive expression on his face, but he was sure that the corners of his mouth were turning up at the sight of his daughters enjoying themselves.

Oh I just want you for my own

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

Baby all I want for Christmas is

You baby

Anna danced over to Meg and pulled her away from Blaine. Blaine watched them go with a grin because this was the best Christmas he could remember, even from before he came out because then Cooper had been grumpy and grouchy and Emily had been nervous and then they'd been babies and they'd all had to be very quite.

All I want for Christmas is you baby

Cooper hugged Blaine and Blaine laughed 'cause he had his brother and Sebastian and he was helping Garth and he was going to be alright because he was going to go back to Dalton and he felt incredibly optimistic for the first time ever at Christmas. He would see the Rev and give Garth and Oz and Caz their presents, and everything was just working.

---

I haven't heard a thing from any of the guys since Jeff came round - not even Juri or Trinity - so I must have really offended him. It bugs me because Juri's always been my friend so I know that this is just beyond bad. I figure, though, that I'll just wait it out till New Year, give him some time to simmer down. That should work…

"Merry Christmas, Kurt!" Kurt peeled his eyes open and groaned at the light that was on. He put his hands over his face and moaned out Finn's name;

"Finn! Go back to sleep!" he whined with a voice that was heavy with sleep and Finn laughed at him, his voice too bright and cheerful for the time.

"It's nine-thirty, Kurt!" Kurt sat upright at that, blanket sliding down to his waist. He frowned at Finn in disbelief.

"No it's not," he countered and Finn just grinned and threw a Christmas present that was messily wrapped at him. "Merry Christmas!" he repeated and Kurt laughed out loud.

"Merry Christmas, Finn," he replied with a grin. Finn smiled back at him, only a scar on his temple to show his encounter with Karofsky. He reached down to the end of his bed and pulled out a small package. "Here's your first present," he said.

"Thanks man," said Finn, tearing off the wrapping paper with the same enthusiasm as a little kid. "Cool!" he pulled out a pair of leather gloves. "Thanks Kurt," Kurt had opened his own parcel and saw the scarf that he'd been eyeing in the shop. He smiled over at his step-brother.

"Thanks Finn!" he said, slipping out of bed and Finn stood up too and they shared a hug. Kurt wrapped the scarf around his neck, even though he didn't need it. "Presents or breakfast?" he asked as they left their bedroom and headed down the stairs.

"Presents!" exclaimed Finn, eyes lighting up in excitement. Kurt shook his head, but he didn't bother to argue with him because he was excited too. Finn crashed down the stairs, sounding like an elephant with boots on and Kurt followed him lightly, still feeling a little bit tired.

"Merry Christmas!" said Burt and Carole as they made their way into the kitchen. Carole hopped up to hug her son and Kurt embraced his father and then Carole.

"Merry Christmas!" he said and accepted the cup of coffee that he was proffered to him by Carole.

"Toast?" asked Burt and Kurt nodded. Finn had already walked towards the Christmas and Carole rolled her eyes at his childlike expression of wonder and excitement.

"I love Christmas!" said Finn and Kurt rolled his eyes.

"I hadn't guessed," he remarked, dryly and Finn just smiled at him.

"I'm too cheerful to care that you're making fun of me - I think". Kurt laughed at his mild confusion for a brief moment before shaking it off and looking at the presents under the tree. Burt and Carole moved to sit down on the sofa, Burt's arm around Carole's shoulders.

It was strangely domestic in that moment, Finn pulling the presents out from under the tree and sorting them into piles for each of them - Kurt had been relieved to find that their shopping had been saved, even if the plates for Finn's aunt had been smashed, because it saved them having to go out and re-buy all their presents again. Kurt drinking coffee and poking fun at Finn's childish nature, and Burt and Carole watching them with smiles, munching on their toast.

"Alright, Finn," said Carole. "you can open your presents." Kurt, who had a slice of toast in his mouth, almost spat crumbs everywhere in laughter at the sight of Finn diving at the presents. He choked on the bread and Burt thumped his back, whilst laughing, and Kurt swallowed painfully, coughing and laughing. Carole just shook her head.

"I think we need to carefully time that moment," said Kurt, eyes stinging and trying to swallow normally. "in the future." Carole nodded.

"Yes, that would be a good idea, sorry Kurt." Kurt shook his head.

"It's fine," he assured her and was then they were interrupted by Finn.

"Oh, you got me COD: Black Ops! Thanks mum!" Kurt raised an eyebrow at Finn's excitement about getting a game that involved shooting people whilst Burt frowned.

"You bought him a game about cod?" he questioned and the other three laughed together, rolling their eyes and shaking their heads.

"No, dear, Call of Duty, it's a game for his xbox."

"Oh, right…" there was a pause before he added defensively. "How was I meant to know that? It's not like I bought those games for Kurt." Kurt raised his eyebrow at his dad.

"Maybe because he said "Black ops"? The last time I checked fish didn't go around on secret missions to kill things."

"You never know," said Finn, absent-mindedly. "who knows what fish think." Kurt stared at Finn in disbelief before shaking his head and picking up his own presents.

He was glad to receive lots of clothes, all of which he'd known he would get because he'd written his dad a very detailed list and then handed it to Carole who had smiled at him and tucked it in her handbag with a nod and a wink, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy taking the wrapping paper and seeing which ones they'd chosen.

"Merry Christmas, Kurt," said Finn, dropping an oddly shaped package into his lap. It was long and thin and definitely not an item of clothing. Kurt frowned at him.

"What," he demanded slowly. "is this?" Finn grinned up at him.

"Open it," Sighing and rolling his eyes, Kurt tore open the wrapping paper and was surprised - or maybe he shouldn't have been as it had a very distinctive shape - to see a broom roll out onto his lap. He saw his dad and Carole share bemused looks whilst Kurt stared down at it in shock. Then he looked back up at Finn in surprise. Finn was still beaming at him. "Like it?" he questioned and Kurt, letting out a laugh, nodded, dropping it onto the floor and giving him a big hug.

"Thanks, Finn, I hadn't even thought of that!" Finn shrugged.

"The story was funny, and then I saw one so I just thought…" he trailed off, shrugging, whilst Kurt continued to grin, glad that he could return the broom back to Sebastian.

"Erm," said Burt, still frowning in puzzlement. "why do you need a broom?" Kurt looked at Finn, smile quirking his lips, and then back at his dad. He shook his head.

"It's a Dalton thing, dad." His dad nodded, but still looked completely baffled as to why Kurt would need a broom.

Kurt hugged them all in gratitude for his various presents, and leapt to his feet, deciding that they definitely needed some music on. He didn't know whether it was because he was wrapped up warm with a new cardigan and the scarf, or because they had the heating on, or just because it was Christmas day, but he felt very warm inside. He didn't feel at all troubled or guilty. He wasn't worried.

He flicked, absent-mindedly, through the CD collection, searching for the one of various Christmas hits. There had been little time for singing fun Christmas songs at Dalton - only hymn after hymn after hymn - which was a shame, in his opinion, as the New Directions had had the chance, but he was more than making it up for it in this holiday.

"If you're looking for the Christmas CD, it's in the player." Kurt turned around to look at his dad in mild surprise. Burt grinned at him. "What? You don't think that I don't know what you like best about Christmas? Apart from the fact that I buy you what you want, that is." Kurt smiled at his dad, rolling his eyes and laughing.

"Well, it has been rumoured that I have a love for singing." There was more laughter at that and Kurt pressed play.

I turned my face away

And dreamed about you

Kurt was mildly disappointed when it came on a little way into the Pogues Fairytale of New York because, whilst he liked the song a lot, he was in the mood for something a little bit more upbeat.

"Oh, I love this song!" said Finn, looking up.

Got on a lucky one

Came in eighteen to one

I had a feeling that year's

For me and you

He began to sing along, impersonating the slightly drunken slur that Shane MacGowan seemed to have - which fitted perfectly with the song, and Kurt raised an eyebrow, as he always found it difficult to work out what the lyrics were; in the end he'd resorted to the internet

Said, "Happy Christmas

I love you, baby

I can see a better time

When all our dreams come true"

"You do a good drunk impression," he said, to Finn and Finn gave him a wide grin. Burt frowned in confusion, looking over at Finn.

"How do you know the lyrics?" Finn shrugged, and, in the instrumental break, he said;

"I guess I just listened to it so many times."

The beat picked up, when they band came, and Kurt made a failed imitation of Irish dancing that garnered a lot of laughter, and then began to sing, skipping back around;

They got cars, big as bars

They got rivers of gold

But the wind blows right through you

It's no place for the old

He wagged his finger at his dad, shaking his head, causing Burt to shake his head and roll his eyes whilst Carole laughed, patting his arm, and Finn snorted quite loudly.

When you first took my hand

On a cold Christmas eve

You promised me Broadway

Was waiting for me

He leant across the sofa back, looking at Finn with a mildly accusatory eye, wide smile still plastered on his face, and Finn gasped in fake-shock, and looked offended.

You were handsome

You were pretty

Finn came back in, leaping to his feet and spreading his arms open, palms facing up, in a questioning manner.

Queen of New York city

When the band finished playing

They howled out for more

They were singing together, each trying to be louder than the other, and drowning out MacGowan and MacColl, waving their fists at the ceiling to an imaginary band that was - for some reason - above them.

Sinatra was swinging

All the drunks, they were singing

And we kissed on a corner

Danced through the night

Kurt swayed along to the music, eyes falling onto his broom, and, when Finn had spotted his gaze and threw it to him, held it before him at arm's length, dancing around on the spot. Finn was moving in an ungainly way on the spot, swinging his long arms back and forth just about in time to the music.

And the boys of the NYPD choir

Were singing, 'Galway Bay'

And the bells were ringing out

For Christmas day

They raised their voices together in a loud joyous cry for the holiday season. It wasn't loud in an obnoxious way, but it had the same strength that it had had when they were singing in the car. It was the same warmth and security.

You´re a bum you´re a punk

You´re an old slut on junk

Lying there almost dead on a drip in that bed

For the first time Finn stumbled on the lyrics, frowning and screwing up his eyes as he tried to work out whether he'd gotten it right and Kurt laughed at him as he shrugged in confusion.

You scumbag you maggot

You cheap lousy faggot

Kurt saw all three of them stare at him in shocked surprise when they word "faggot" just slipped out of his mouth, but it wasn't really that big a deal - it was just a song lyric written by someone who didn't know him and probably wasn't anymore racist than the next person. It was just a song, a song that couldn't hurt him unless he let it.

Happy Christmas your arse I pray god it´s our last.

And the boys of the NYPD choir

Still singing, 'Galway Bay'

And the bells were ringing out

Christmas day

Kurt thrust the broom to the ground and round over to perch on the arm of the sofa next to his dad, arching his eyebrow even as he smiled. He crossed his right leg over left, resting his right elbow by his right hip and balancing his chin on top of his fist whilst Finn flopped down on the sofa, flinging his long arm across the back as they sang together.

I could have been someone

Finn got to his feet, fake frown firmly in place, and paced the floor in an angry manner, turning to give Kurt an angry glare.

Well so could anyone

You took my dreams from me

When I first found you

Kurt responded, hiding his smile, by leaping to his feet, keeping his eyebrow arched, and stalking around Finn as he looking at him accusingly, poking him in the chest with his index when his part came to an end.

But I kept them with me, babe

I put them with my own

Can't make it all alone

Built my dreams around you

Kurt wondered, vaguely, as Finn sung back to him with a pleading expression on his face, how much of Finn's behaviour this holiday had been acting. He'd gone from being uncomfortable at the idea of dancing with Kurt and unwilling to stand up for him to being happy to hug him and sing with him and throw himself in harms way…It was cynical and untrustworthy - especially after what had happened with Karofsky - but Kurt could not help but think it.

And the boys of the NYPD choir

Still singing, 'Galway Bay'

And the bells were ringing out

Christmas day

Except, he thought as they pulled their parents from the sofa they seemed more than happy to become one with, family is everything to Finn. "Brother" isn't just a technicality; it's something he's comfortable with, and he wants…Finn wants a family…

He found himself smiling even more as the music carried on in the background and Finn laughed, almost slipping on the wrapping paper as his mum held him up. Kurt reciprocated the hug that his dad gave him, glad that his dad hadn't ruined the holiday too much by bringing up Karofsky repeatedly, and happy that everything in their home had managed to fit itself into place without them having to really try.

---

Next Time - Glittering: Kurt returns to Dalton Academy for the New Year's party that promises music, fun and hilarity with fireworks to outshine the heavens whilst discovering that the school contains some stars of its own. Meanwhile, Blaine struggles to adjust back to life at Dalton as it becomes more apparent that things are changing…