If It Weren't For You – Chapter 2

By MyNameIsCAL

-Max's POV-

Fang was trying to be the strong one, but right now, he was a wreck.

We sat in the hospital, which was the first thing that was setting him off. And then we were waiting to hear about Iggy, who had flat lined on the stretcher in the ambulance. He kept trying to tell me things were going to be okay, but I knew that he didn't quite believe, the way he was pacing around the waiting room, ignoring the pain in his leg, hands shoved into his pockets.

To make things worse, Iggy's blood covered him. Some of the hospital staff tried to get him to change, but he refused.

"Fang, sit down." I grabbed him by the arm. "Please, you look like you're going to pass out."

He sat and I took his hand.

"He's going to be okay," he repeated, shoving his other hand under his leg.

"I know."

"It's my fault, Max. I wasn't paying attention."

"It's not your fault. The car was supposed to stop."

"I should have seen it coming." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "He'll never forgive me."

There was no convincing him when he got like this. I took in a deep breath, wishing there was more I could do to calm him. He was sweating even though the air conditioning made it freezing in here. I knew there would be no way to get him to roll up his sleeves though. He wasn't ready for that, not to care about what the world thought about him.

Time passed slowly. Fang kept looking at the clock, but I had avoided letting my eyes drift that way. Only when the doctor was walking towards us did I see that a good two hours had gone by.

"He made it," the doctor said.

I closed my eyes, leaning against Fang. "So what's the catch then?"

"He suffered brain damage. When he regains consciousness, most likely he will no longer be able to see." The doctor cleared his throat. "I have to say he's lucky that's it though. We haven't seen any other damage to the brain that we can say will impair him in any other way. His leg is broken in two places, but I believe he'll make a full recovery."

Fang put his arm around me. "Can we see him?"

The doctor shook his head. "Not until tomorrow. I'm sorry. Maybe it's best you go home and get some rest."

"Alright," I said. "Thank you, doctor."

"Of course. Have a good night."

We drove home in silence. Fang went straight to the bathroom, closing the door. I went to mine to shower and change to sleep. When I came to give him his medication, he was lying on his bed.

"Max?"

I took a seat on the edge of his bed. "I've got your medication."

He sat up, taking the small container and downing both pills with the glass of water I gave him.

"Thanks," he muttered. "Will you stay tonight? Just…I'm afraid I'll—"

"Of course, Fang." I settled down onto the bed next to him and he curled up against me like a little kid.

It had been a long time since I had the comfort of sleeping next to someone, and maybe before that had been the reason Fang and I had gotten carried away that night. We were lonely, and when we finally realized that we understood each other, we suddenly stopped thinking. But the desperation was gone after that, and we realized that all we had ever wanted was comfort. For a long time our worlds had been spinning out of control, and through all the mess, we had finally found someone to hold onto.

Fang's sleeping medication knocked him out almost immediately, but maybe only because he was also tired too. I knew our current situation was stressing him out. What happened to Iggy was only going to stress him out more. It was only going to get harder, but I pushed from my mind the idea of him relapsing or having a slip up.

It was over one hundred degrees, but Fang still stood at the door waiting for me in long sleeves and a pair of jeans. Only recently had he started to wear t-shirts around the apartment, but I knew it was only because I told him that it didn't bother me and that Iggy couldn't even see them.

"I'll—I'll drive." He opened the door for me, leaning on his good leg. "I mean, I'm going to have to start driving again."

I gave him the keys. Usually when I tried to get him to drive, he would get upset.

There wasn't anything wrong about his driving, but he had the AC cranked up in the car to keep himself from sweating. He looked very relieved once we had reached the hospital.

"I'm sorry, but he isn't family," the nurse said, motioning to Fang. "I can't let him into Mr. Griffith's room until after the doctor's had a chance to examine him once he wakes up."

Fang shook his head. "I'll just wait outside. It's alright, Max."

I hated to leave Fang alone. To be honest, he hated it too. It gave him too much time to think, and I knew thinking too much drove him crazy.

"Alright, well, if you need anything…"

"It's fine, really." He gave me a small smile, his attempt to sound reassuring, but I knew it was far from that.

I left Fang and let the nurse lead me to Iggy's room. There was a chair set next to the bed and I sunk into it, relieved to see that Iggy still looked like himself, despite the bandages now wrapped around his head.

But it still hurt to see him lying in that hospital bed. It brought me back to Ari and how he'd land himself in the hospital, only to go to rehab for a day and fall back into his old ways. I had gotten so used to being called to the hospital and seeing him hooked up to tubes and wires that the night when Ari died, I had showed up to the hospital expecting the same old story. When the doctor told me they couldn't save him, I had cried my eyes out.

Ari had been my responsibility. He was two years younger than me. I was lucky to have siblings that didn't fight too much and that cared about each other very much. I was lucky to have Iggy who cared a lot about the rest of us even though he could have ran from us after all that had happened. But Ari had been my best friend. Especially after my parents died. It wasn't until after Ari's death and Iggy's rapid sight loss that Iggy and I grew closer. Perhaps it was Fang's likeness to Ari that drew me to him, that made me put my trust into him so easily. Which made me realize that for now I could only love Fang like a brother and as a best friend, but nothing more.

I was anxious for Iggy to wake. Not that it was a relief or anything, but I knew Iggy wouldn't be too upset about being blind. He knew it would have been any day now that his vision would be gone. In fact, I got the feeling he had come to terms with that a long time ago. If anything, it would be Fang that would be upset and Iggy making light of the situation.

"F-Fang?"

I sat up, grabbing Iggy's hand. "No, it's me, Max."

Iggy blinked furiously. "I-I can't see."

I let out a breath. "The doctor said you wouldn't be able to. Brain damage."

"That's ironic." He laughed weakly.

"I'm sorry, Iggy."

He closed his eyes, giving my hand a squeeze. "What else is wrong with me?"

"Your leg is broken, but the doctor said that you'd be able to recover from that."

"So I guess I'm lucky then. Brain damage and a loss of something I was losing anyway." He let out a sigh. "Exactly what happened though?"

I shook my head. "You got hit by a car that was trying to turn at a red light."

"Is Fang beating himself up?"

That was Iggy, looking out for everyone.

"Well, yes, he is."

"Tell him not to." Iggy winced as he tried to move his leg. "I shouldn't have started walking without him."

And that was when I finally broke down and started crying.

"Max, why are you crying?" He reached his hand out. "Don't cry, Max, it's okay."

"After what we went through with Ari and Fang, I couldn't think that I'd almost lose you too." I pressed his hand to my face. "I don't know what'd I'd do if you…if you…"

"Shhh…Max, it's okay." He managed to wipe some of my tears away, a shaky smile growing. "C'mon, smile! There's no reason to be upset. I'm going to be okay, and things worked out, didn't they? I could be paralyzed or something, but I'm not."

Iggy was taking this the way I had expected, and it made me want to cry more.