Chapter 51

As promised, Joey called his Mum the next day and it wasn't half as bad as he'd expected it to be. His Mum was more than surprised by his call. Contact from him and Lauren had been limited the last few months, the two of them struggling to find time for a conversation to last more than a matter of minutes what with one thing and another. When Whitney had said Alice had gone off the rails she hadn't been lying – she'd locked herself away from the world, embarrassed by her naivety. She'd go to school and come home, too ashamed to admit she'd been so wrong about her Dad

The gang headed to Brighton beach the next morning. It was the middle of November but the pier had all the fun they needed. Joey, Tyler and Fatboy had vanished into the arcade whilst the girls had declared it too cold and had retreated to a café.

"I can't believe how big she's gotten" Whitney admitted as she cooed over Amber "when Abi showed us pictures not long ago she was tiny"

"She's a right chunky monkey now" Lauren replied, smiling widely as Amber looked at her "is Mummy talking about you, baby? Is she?"

"How're you coping?" Lucy asked. The subject had to be brought up sometime.

"Okay I guess" she admitted "it gets easier each day and it's better now she's older. I was scared when she was first born because she was just this tiny life who was dependent on me and Joey. I was petrified to let her out of my sight in case anything happened"

"When did that stop then?" Lucy inquired

"It hasn't" she informed her "it's still there. You worry every single second of every single day, but Joey's great and she's a happy baby. She smiles at me and everything, the worry, the pain, the early mornings are worth it"

"And how are you? Like, in yourself?" she asked

"In my head?" Lauren questioned, offering a suggestion to her friends, both of them nodding in reply "I'm alright, better than I was, much better. I've got tablets and Joey really helps. He sees when I'm getting stressed and knows how to stop it. Anyway, I don't really have the chance to think about anything other than Amber, so it's all good"

"Well you know we're always here, Lauren, yeah?" Whitney inquired "we're only a phone call away"

"Thanks, guys. You really should come see us more often, or we could come and see you. I'm sure my Mum and Dad wouldn't mind some visitors" Lauren replied

"ye we'd like that."

"You want to hold her?" Lauren questioned lifting Amber and placing her onto her own lap.

"Yes!" Lauren smiled and passed Amber across. She watched the interaction and took a breath feeling content for the first time in a while. "How did you manage to hide it for so Long Lauren?"

"My Mum and Dad didn't really give me much of a choice. They thought it would be easier this time round" she clamped her hand over her mouth realising what she'd said.

Lucy glared "What do you mean this time around? Do have a secret kid somewhere ?"

Lauren shook her head "no. I was pregnant before. It was Joey's too. We'd not know each other long, it was our first time together and I got pregnant, it was accidental and we didn't know what to do. I told Mum and she and Dad were disappointed but they thought it was someone else's baby not Joeys. They didn't know I was seeing anyone. They were very protective but surprisingly nice."

"But you don't have a baby ? You didn't even look pregnant" Lucy tried to question

"Mum took me for a scan one day and they couldn't find a heartbeat... it was the same time that Bradley died and I w's distraught...I ran straight over to Joeys that night and he held me and I cried myself to sleep. I told Sara and she'd explained what would happen, she was going to be a midwife before she had Joey y'know ?"

"You don't have to tell us anymore babe" Whitney reached across the table to hold Lauren's hand. Amber gurgled on Whitney's lap and Lauren smiled at her daughter.

"It's ok...i haven't spoken about it for a while. After that me and Joey got closer and did all we could to be together. Then I got ill. Everyone was too much for me. I went to meadows and well you know about all that. Joey was waiting for me after I came out and well lets say we weren't exactly trying for a baby but neither were we stopping it from happening. Then I got pregnant with Amber. Mum and Dad found out I was seeing Joey and I think deep down they know the baby was his firm the start and that's why they kept me hidden. They were trying to protect me somehow." she shrugged "and well you know the rest... I still think about what would have happened if i'd have had the other baby, I'd have a two year old now too. But, I feel so lucky too. I've got a beautiful baby girl and nothing's ever going to compare that."

The girls continued to chat for the entire afternoon, the boys joining them later on. Joey instantly hugging Lauren, knowing by her face she'd got emotional. Eventually it was time for the others to head back to Walford, so with hugs and promises to be back soon, Tyler, Whitney, Lucy and Fatboy left Brighton and returned to the Square.

It was later that evening when Amber was in bed, Joey questioned her on her earlier state, "what were you talking to the girls about baby?"

"The other baby..." she whispered, Joey giving her a weak smile and running his fingers through her hair. "it'd be two now y'know?"

"I know...I think about it sometimes when we're with Amber."

"Me too" Lauren mused. "Me too..."

so we know about Lauren and Joey's past now, and why Lauren was so intent on keeping Amber. Thanks to all the reviewers so far , much appreciated ! I'll be back tomorrow! Xx