If It Weren't For You – Chapter 3

By MyNameIsCAL

-Iggy's POV-

There was nothing more complicated about my current situation. I won't let Max see that I'm hurting though. It wasn't that I was lying to her though. I just wasn't telling her the truth.

I would probably be stuck in the hospital for another week or too, but right now, I wanted to see—well hear, I guess—Fang.

You see, Max was very oblivious to this. Fang had too many problems to even notice too. But ever since the first time I met him, as dangerous and unstable as he seemed, I knew that he was the one. From the moment I rested my hand against his cheek for the first time, and the way he put his hand around my wrist, I knew that it was he that I was supposed to fall in love with.

Right, I know, it sounds crazy.

I guess seeing a blur of colors was really no different than seeing nothing at all. And then again, my vision had cleared for one moment before everything went dark. I could picture Fang's face clearly still. Never before had I seen him cry, and well, never would I see him again.

The TV was on, but mostly because I was alone. Max said that Gazzy and Angel were going to come visit me this weekend. I was hoping that maybe the doctor would finally let Fang in too.

The door opened and heavy footsteps entered. It was Dr. Wilder.

"Hi, Doctor."

"Good morning, Iggy." He took a seat next to the bed, or at least I could tell from the creaking of the chair.

"So what's new today?" I asked him.

"I just wanted to let you know I've cleared you for other visitors," Dr. Wilder explained. "Max also left a message that she'd be here sometime after lunch. That's about two hours from now. How's your head and leg feeling?"

I shrugged. "No better or worse than how they felt last time."

"That's good to hear. You let me know if anything's bothering you." He rose, stepping away from me now. "I'll talk to you later."

"Thanks, Dr. Wilder."

The news kept me company for a while. It was a shame that politicians couldn't keep it together and that the debt talks were falling apart. If anything, it was the world that made me sad, not what I myself was going through. With the exception of Fang.

Years could have passed, but I wouldn't have any way of knowing. Finally Max arrived with Fang. He took a seat next to the bed, his hand coming around my wrist and pressing my hand to his face before I could even reach out my hand.

"I'm so sorry." His grip on my wrist tightened. "We should have waited for Max. It was my fault."

"You're acting like I'm dying or something." I shook my head. "I don't want your apology, Fang, but if it makes you feel better, then I guess I'll accept it. I just want you to promise that you're not going to blame yourself. There's no reason to. I would have gone blind soon anyway. I've already done all the things I've wanted to do with my sight."

I could feel his lip trembling, and I dropped my hand from his face, not wanting him to feel uncomfortable, but he still held onto my wrist.

"How can you just forgive me like that?" he asked.

"Because you saved my life, Fang. I wouldn't have lived if you didn't stay there and try to stop all the bleeding. If anything, I owe you."

He said nothing for a long time, and then he dropped my arm. I heard the chair screech across the floor and then the door close a few minutes later.

"He's mad at himself still." I let out a sigh. "Do you think he'll be alright, Max?"

Max sat in the chair now. "Things will smooth out. It'll just take a while."

"I'm afraid he'll do something…stupid."

"Yeah, me too, Iggy."

Gazzy and Angel came to visit me late Saturday afternoon. I surprised Nudge didn't tag along, but Gazzy said that she had work and that she didn't want to intrude. Personally, I wouldn't have minded. She could go on and on about anything and I needed a distraction.

"So I've got a job," Gazzy said. "I mean, it's just a small appearance as a side character in some movie. I get like ten lines and fifteen minutes, but I'll finally have enough money to get Angel a car."

"Gazzy, you don't have to get me a car!" I could almost picture Angel rolling her eyes. "Why don't you buy Nudge something nice?"

"You know, I already spend enough money on her. I should get you something."

The two of them could bicker for what seemed like days, but it was all with the best intentions. They didn't exactly see eye to eye all the time. But they got along pretty well for being the closest in age.

Angel always grew tired of it first, and turned the conversation to something else. "You see, Gazzy went out and bought a ring the other night. He wants to ask Nudge to marry him, Iggy."

"Really?" I raised an eyebrow. "That's great, Gazzy."

He sounded like he was smiling. "Thanks, man."

"When are you going to ask her?"

"Well, one thing at a time first, you know. Can't overwhelm us all you know. I mean, she knows already. We've talked about it. It just has to be made official. I didn't really think you'd be up to hearing about it."

"You're letting me hold you back?" I laughed.

"N-No," he stuttered.

"He wants to ask you to be his best man at the wedding too," Angel spoke before he could explain himself. "But he didn't think it'd be appropriate to ask since you just got hurt."

I laughed again, but I wasn't sure if I was hurt or flattered.

Once dinnertime arrived, Gazzy and Angel left, promising that they'd come see me soon again. Max went to see them to their car, leaving Fang alone with me. He hadn't said a thing all afternoon except hello.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He took a while to answer. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"

"C'mon, Fang."

I heard him take a seat next to the bed. Like the other day, he took my hand and pressed it against my face, leaning towards the bed.

"I couldn't fall asleep last night," he told me. "Max isn't going to tell you, but she found me in the bathroom last night with a razor."

I could feel his jaw clench now.

"Fang…"

"I was just wondering if you could make sure she's alright. I wasn't thinking last night, and I know she's upset."

"Of course, Fang." I resisted the urge to slide my fingers across his cheek, smooth back his hair in order to comfort him.

"Thanks, Ig."

I was expecting him to drop my hand now, but until Max came, we stayed there like that, and I spent the rest of my night telling myself that it hadn't meant a thing.