Bare with me guys, I swear that things will get better. Review and tell me what you think. xox
lovemariska64
She felt as if everything was moving in slow motion. It felt as if it were a bad dream and she might make it out soon. She couldn't even think as she ran down the hospital halls, she felt the hot tears pouring down her face as she ran. She seen the doctor walk out of the doors that say OR 1 taking his cap off slowly and walking towards Olivia. She slowed down and walked up to him.
"I'm so sorry detective Benson, he's gone. There were to much bleeding I couldn't stop it. I tried." He looked at her horrified.
She felt her self sink down to the floor and her body went completely numb. She just felt pain as the guilt and the heart break took over her body. She felt herself trying to speak to the doctor but it was so silent he couldn't even hear her.
"What's that ms. Benson?
"WHY?" She shouted through the tears. "Why couldn't you save him? I loved him..." She said softly.
"I'm sorry. I tried everything. I really am terribly sorry."
"Just go."
He walked away from her leaving her in the hall alone. She had her face in her knees as she cried out for Elliot. She knew this time he wasn't coming back...
"Liv."
A familiar voice made her look up. She wiped her face on her arm and stood up.
"You... You did this! Why would you make me end me and his relationship? He would've went home with me and been safe. I can't live without him Cragen. I just can't..."
He sighed heavily and put a hand on her shoulder to pull her in for a hug.
"Please take some time. I'm so sorry this happened. I know that you need and want him but it over and he's gone." He pulled away from her and walked away.
She knew it sounded harsh but he was just trying to get it through her head that he wasn't coming back. In her mind he'd be at home waiting for her. She slowly walked through the hall way and went through the waiting room which was filled with other officers. She walked out of the automatic doors and stood there in the rain. It poured down on her as she walked through the streets. She knew where she wanted to go, she knew where she needed to go. She wanted to get away, be alone. She walked into the apartment that once belonged to Elliot. She threw her clothes off and walked into the bedroom where laid her keys and phone on the end table and laid down in his bed. She laid on his side getting a whiff of his scent. As the tears fell down her face she tightly closed her eyes, just wishing, just hoping when she opened them he'd be there...
She woke up the sound of her phone ringing. She looked at the number, it was an unknown number. She quickly answered.
"Benson." She answered nasally from crying.
"I love you."
It was Elliot's voice she knew from the way he said it. It was him...
She suddenly jerked awake checking her phone, noticing that phone call was only a dream. She sighed and dialed Elliot's number just to hear his voice mail.
"It's me Olivia. I know you're gone but I just wanted to call you to hear your voice on the machine at least... I love you and I miss you already. I'm so sorry I said the things I did, maybe if I didn't breaks up with you in the station you'd still be here. I'm going to go now. I'll call again I know I will. I will call until the voicemail is full.. I'm sorry." She sobbed as she ended the call.
She just wanted him back here. She just wanted to be in his arms again, to be able to kiss and touch him as much as she wanted. She hated the fact that she would actually never be able to see him, to touch his face. He would never be with her on a case again or have her back when she needs it. He is really gone...forever.
She cried out loud as she buried her face into the pillow muffling her screaming out his name.
She lifted her head as her phone started to ring.
"Benson." she sniffled.
"I'm here if you need anything, you know that Liv. I got you baby girl." Finn said softly.
"Thank you Finn. I just want him back."
"We all do babe. Listen you need anything and I mean anything, call me."
She agreed and hung up the phone placing it back to wear it was. She slowly got out of bed and walked to Elliot's closet. She pulled out a pair of his sweat pants and one of his t-shirts. She slowly dressed in them and grabbed her things and left his apartment. She didn't know where she was going to go or what she was going to do. She knew she would never be the same after all of this though...
TBC...