All right, my faithful readers, here is the game! It was easiest to write it in script form- the next chapter goes back to normal. The crack stays though! :) Thanks for the reviews, faves, etc. Review replies:
larasmith: Uther never pays that much attention to servants, except when he thinks they're sorcerers, lol! The other women don't really scheme, unless outdoing one another counts, and Gwen is ready!
Stacy- Arthur was not enchanted in the creation of this chapter.
Sherri- Thanks! It seems right, but my knowledge of Welsh is limited to BBC sci-fi/fantasy shows. :)
PsalmReader- I also prefer good Morgana. Writing her evil is hard! If you've seen season/series 1-4 you should be able to figure out who these lovely ladies are. I invite y'all to guess- the answers are at the end, just in case. :)
Love Match: Camelot Edition
Host: Welcome to Love Match! The game that will find a wife for one lucky bachelor! Today we have here Camelot's most desired man, Prince Arthur Pendragon! Welcome to the show, Prince Arthur.
Arthur: Thank you very much, I'm glad to be here. (Ladies in the audience swoon)
H: Now it's time to get on with the game. Prince Arthur, we have five lovely ladies here that all have the potential to be your wife. They were selected by your father from available women in yours and bordering kingdoms. In this first round, you will ask these lovely ladies questions chosen at random. The audience will vote on which three ladies they think have the most potential to be your wife. In the second round, you will go on a single separate date with each of these women. You will select one of these three to be your wife.
A: Sounds good to me! Better than having a "marriage" arranged for me by my father. "Marriage" meaning strategic political alliance, of course.
H: I totally understand your meaning Your Highness! And now, without further ado, let us begin! So, what's our first question today? And remember ladies, you are to rotate who answers first.
A: If I held a feast in your honor, what food would you like served?
1: Hmm. My appetite is off and on. And I like keeping my figure thin. So, light meats, fruits, bread, and wine. And I'll indulge in cake.
2: Oh, I like simple yet delicious meals. Chicken with a nice in-season vegetable, maybe bread if it's a baking day.
3: Oooh, not chicken. Especially destiny and chicken with cold beans. I prefer light things, like fruit.
A: Uh-huh. 4?
4: I tend to like more exotic foods, like frogs. No, I mean frog's legs of course. And various insects- dipped in chocolate of course. And also fruit.
5: I am accustomed to fairly rich fare. Capons, meat pies, fresh vegetables, cheese, and bread at every meal. Wine too, of course.
H: Wow, A wide variety there. Let's move on.
A: Question two- what's a favorite outdoor activity of yours?
2: Picnicking by a lake or stream. I can just relax and let my worries go.
3: Outdoors? Ugh, thank you, no.
4: Horseback riding. I don't get to do it nearly enough, but it's something I can actually do.
5: I love hunting. The thrill of the chase and all- it's not just for men you know!
1: Swordfighting, definitely. I've been known to beat certain men. And also hunting.
H: Well, that was definitely illuminating. Next question!
A: Okay- Question three: what is your favorite part of a tournament?
3: Watching the men. Even if they're not allowed to watch me upon pain of death. *giggle*
4: The banquets! Such an exciting variety of food- even exotic dishes, my favorite kind!
5: The implied danger of it all- especially jousting. Knowing that every fight or joust could be your last, it's such a rush, even just watching!
1: Oh I totally agree with the rush of danger, that fine line between victory and death. I'd prefer to actually participate though.
2: The displays of strength. The roar of the crowd- it's so easy to get swept up in that excitement and forget the sheer brutality. I suppose the men need their games so they don't get restless.
A: Question four: If you were a flower, which one would you be? And why?
4: A buttercup. They're my favorite color.
5: Lavender. I just love the scent- it's so peaceful and relaxing. And purple is just gorgeous.
1: A purple rose. It's uncommon, royal and enchanting. Much like myself.
2: Honeysuckle. It has such a divine scent and can be draped anywhere, a lot like my other favorite, gilly-flower.
3: Narcissus. It's not too tall and not too short. Like me. It's also blonde and bold like me.
A: Interesting answers ladies. So, Question five: What are the most defining qualities of a knight?
5: Honesty, loyalty, courage, and fairness.
1: Loyalty, obedience, valor, and excellence in arms.
2: Honor, fairness, courtesy, and mercy.
3: Gallantry, loyalty, courage, and faithfulness.
4: Courage, generosity, honesty, and physical fitness.
H: And now all questions have been answered! It's time for our audience members to vote for the three lovely ladies whom our prince will date. Under your seats you'll find parchment, quills and ink. Please write the designated numbers of the three ladies you think would suit the prince the best.
The audience reaches for the items beneath their seats. A few know right away whom they like and finish writing quite rapidly. A few more are unsure and tap their chins with their quills, write, scribble out what they've written, and write some more. The vast majority deliberate carefully before writing anything then carefully fold their parchment when the ink is dry. The host allows them several minutes to complete this task.
H: And now, ladies and gentlemen, please hand your votes down to the end of the row so they may be calculated. Good knights, please gather them up and deliver them to the tally person in the council room.
The knights proceed to gather the votes, then hand them all to Sir Leon, who exits the room. Arthur tries not to fidget nervously.
H: So now we wait for the results. For our entertainment, Sir Lancelot will juggle various items for us. Take it away, Sir Lancelot!
Lancelot proceeds to the front of the room and asks for items to juggle from the audience. They include daggers, quills, inkpots, rings, and flowers.
Meanwhile, in the council chambers, the tally person counts the votes and writes the results on another piece of parchment. He just finishes when Merlin sneaks from behind a column, holds out his hand and whispers "Swefe nu." The tally person falls forward, hitting his head on the table. Merlin cringes at this then sneaks to the table to look at the results.
"Let's see . . . Gwen's ahead, good. Morgana? Aw maaaan! Oh well. Mithian—hmm. I don't know much about her, but she can't be as bad as Elena was. All right, everything's in order for now." And with that he snuck out the same way he snuck in—tripping over his own feet. The tally person woke with a snort at the noise, gathered the folded parchment pieces and the counting sheet and left the room.
The tally person enters the Great Hall just as Lancelot is about to juggle six daggers. The host sees him enter and Lancelot maneuvers to catch all six daggers without injury. The audience claps while Lance takes a bow and gratefully moves to exit the room.
H: Here's our tally person! Thank you Sir Lancelot for your exciting juggling program! We're thrilled that your limbs are still intact . . . So Prince Arthur, are you ready to find out whom you'll be dating in the next few days?
A: I do believe I am, Mister Host. (No one hears him whisper "finally" under his breath.)
H: All right! Here we go! Ladies, please step from behind your screens as I read your numbers. Your first date will be number . . . one, Lady Morgana! Date number two will be with . . . number five, Princess Mithian of Nemeth! And your final date will be with . . . number two, Lady Jennafær of Northumbria! (No one- besides Arthur -recognizes "Jennafær;" she's been completely made over)
A: (Arthur has to close his mouth in order to not catch flies. Again.) Why not in numerical order, Mister Host?
H: For variety, Your Highness. Variety is the spice of life! Now, Prince Arthur, you must have one date per day for the next three days. How will you proceed?
A: Each lady will join me for the evening meal in my chambers. We'll enjoy a romantic meal by candlelight and get to know each other a little better. (He winks at the three ladies. Morgana rolls her eyes, Gwen blushes and Mithian winks back.) So tomorrow I'll see you Morgana.
H: And that's all for tonight ladies and gentlemen! We'll be back in a few days to let you know the result of the competition. Goodnight Camelot!
So did you guess right? Tee hee! Here they are:
1- Morgana
2- Gwen
3- Vivian
4- Elena
5- Mithian