If It Weren't For You – Chapter 17

By MyNameIsCAL

-Iggy's POV-

The weeks up to Christmas were some of the hardest. Fang was suddenly back on all this medication. Depression meds, anxiety meds, and then sleeping meds. He had made some progress with walking though. They had this leg brace on him. Once he was stronger and could walk on his own with crutches, they would let him come home.

And then two days before Christmas, Fang checked himself out.

This wasn't the first time he had done something like this. When Max was first trying to get Fang clean, he would check himself out after a few days. We'd go searching all over the area for him. Sometimes we'd find him trying to take shelter somewhere. Sometimes he would actually just come home. But most times we found him stumbling around somewhere high. A few times, the cops had brought him home and one time they arrested him.

So Max and I drove around the town near the rehab center. There was no sign of him though. They told us he had called for a cab using his cell phone. I tried calling his cell, but it went straight to voice mail.

Max ended up calling someone she knew who was a cop. The only thing we could do was wait and keep calling. I sat up late every night by the phone hoping Fang would call, begging us to forgive him. I kept thinking about the thing I wanted to say to him, but all I really wanted to tell him was to come home.

It was the night before Christmas Eve now and there was still no word on him. We were trying not to jump to any worst case scenarios yet. One time Fang had disappeared for a week.

"Iggy, you should go to sleep." Max took a seat next to me at the kitchen table. "I'll wait up if you want. Gazzy and Angel are getting here early tomorrow. And we have to cook."

"Nudge isn't coming?" I asked. Things were still a little awkward between her and Fang, but she seemed more accepting of us now.

"Her mother is sick. She says she's really sorry she can't come." Max leaned against the table.

"Maybe all of this is a sign, Max."

"What do you mean?"

"That I shouldn't ask Fang to marry me."

"Maybe it's a sign you should," she remarked.

-Two Years Later-

It took me another two years to figure out what Max had meant. On Christmas Day of that year he had left the rehabilitation facility, the hospital called us saying he had overdosed on heroin and they were giving him emergency treatment.

Fang had spent the last two years in and out of rehab. It was relapse after relapse. He barely was ever home. He wouldn't talk to me either anymore. That killed me. My head kept telling me it was time to let go of him – that Max had been wrong that night two years ago. Yet I carried that stupid engagement ring around with me, hoping that maybe for once when I tried to visit him, he would actually want to see me.

It was Christmas again. Max had told Gazzy and Angel to go spend Christmas with Nudge's family. I was exhausted. She was exhausted. Ava had finally stopped asking about where Fang was, and it broke my heart a little.

Then my cell phone rang. No one ever called me. It had to be the wrong number.

"Iggy?"

"Fang!"

"Iggy…" He sounded like he was crying. "Iggy I can't do this anymore…"

"Fang, where are you?"

"Iggy, I've been so stupid…"

"No you haven't."

"I…I called to say I'm sorry."

"Fang, where are you?!"

He let out a laugh. "That doesn't matter. I-I just wanted to hear your voice before I go."

"Max and I will come get you, Fang. Come home, please. I miss you so much."

Then I heard a voice in the background. "SIR, PLEASE STEP AWAY FROM THE LEDGE!"

"I'm at the hospital, Ig."

"Stay where you are. I'm coming." He was going to jump. I had to stop him.

Max sped towards the hospital. I couldn't really get a feel of my surroundings, but there were a lot of people there and it was snowing. It must have been a cop on the megaphone trying to talk Fang down. Max dragged me through a crowd. She had an exchange with someone, maybe it was the cop.

"We need to get you two up there," the cop said.

They rushed us into the hospital and into an elevator. Then we got out and went up a flight of stairs to the roof. It was freezing and windy. Max begged Fang to step back.

"You tell Ava that I love her." Fang sounded like he was crying still.

"Fang! Don't do this!" I took a step forward.

"It's the only way any of us will ever be free!" he shouted back.

"No it's not!" I took another step and Max let go of my arm. "Just listen to me for a second, Fang! Do you remember when you saved that mother and her kid four years ago? I know you probably hate thinking about it, but you were a hero that day, Fang. You have every right to live. I don't care about the drugs. I don't care about the past four years, Fang. Step back from the ledge. Come home with me."

"Why, Iggy?" He sobbed. "Why would you want me after all of this?"

I dug my hand into my pocket and found the box with the engagement ring. "I wanted to ask you to marry me that night you got hit by the truck. I've carried the engagement ring around with me every day since then, hoping the right time would come again."

I pulled out the box and opened it. "I've been waiting four years to ask you this. So will you marry me, Fang? Marry me and step back and we can start over again."

There was only silence, and then I felt these arms come around me. It was Fang clutching onto me. I pulled my arms around him, hoping I'd never have to let him go again.