A blissful day passed as Sam holed up in Leah's room. She eventually broke their kiss to bury her face in his neck. She had wept then, freely, a cathartic release of the swirling emotions inside of her. Out came her sorrow, her pain, and her grief, but with these came relief and happiness.
He wrapped himself around her. Over and over he repeated the words into her ear. He infinitely regretted the years he had wasted without telling her, and though it was impossible to make up for it now, it didn't stop him from trying. The imprint tried to silence him, but now that he knew its secret, he was able to overcome it. Eventually her tears dried, and they lay down together, facing each other in her small bed, hands clasped between them, just as they had when they were small. She did not return the words, but he felt her love nonetheless. He saw it shining in her eyes. Though they were both still exhausted, now that they had found their way back to each other, they stayed awake to rediscover one another. Sometimes they spoke, talking of their brothers, their families, or their strange and unique experiences as wolves. They avoided speaking of Emily. She had already stolen enough of their time and affection. Leah told him how close she and Jacob had become, and his mood fell as he thought about the kiss they had shared. He knew he had no right to be jealous, not only because of his own bizarre affair, but because he knew it had only been a ruse on behalf of Bella Swan, who hadn't left the Blacks' house since Jacob returned from Seattle. Leah reassured him that nothing else had happened while they were alone in Seattle, which he knew was the truth. But thanks to the pack mind, he would always have the image of her lips pressed against another man's. She caught him staring at her mouth while he relived the memory and asked him what was wrong. He was unused to having to explain himself out loud. Once upon a time, she probably would have easily guessed, but no longer. They had to rebuild their relationship, reestablish their connection, and hopefully fashion it into something even stronger than it had been before. "I was just thinking that your lips are beautiful, and I don't want anyone else touching them besides me." He ran his thumb over the full lower lip. His voice dropped a register. "They're so soft, and I've missed them so much." He kissed her again, and she made a soft, small sound of satisfaction that meant more than language.
Their family eventually realized they were awake. Sue wanted to kick him out, because watching him break her daughter's heart had broken hers, but she tried to stay civil for Allison's sake. Seth convinced her to let him stay while Allison yelled at Sam for terrifying her. Sue said they were both grounded until they turned thirty. Allison said she would padlock their rooms and nail the windows shut if she thought it would keep them inside. Sue said she would get Jacob to Alpha order them into padded rooms until they came to their senses. But both women begrudgingly congratulated them on eliminating Victoria's threat once and for all, and eventually they were left alone once again.
Within hours, Leah's raw burns had closed over into shiny pink skin, and Sam took the excuse to massage soothing lotion into the scars even though they would be invisible by the next day. She hummed under his touch, and he was happier than he could remember being in weeks. Gradually he let his hands stray to healthy, unmarred territory. He started tracing invisible patterns with the tips of his fingers.
"You're making me tingle all over." He heard the smile in her voice.
"I want to make you feel good. I missed touching you so much, and I wish you'd never been hurt in the first place."
She answered, "It was worth it. I couldn't handle it if anything worse happened to you. Although if I never get near another vampire again, it'll be too soon. My ribs hurt. How are yours? And your leg?"
"The same, but it's no big deal. I'm focusing on how it feels here." He lay his hands flat on the small of her back, soaking up her warmth. He would gladly walk over hot coals if she waited for him at the other end.
She sighed but said nothing, so he bent to press kisses all over her bare back. She shivered and squirmed, and he wished they were truly alone and uninjured. Since they began exploring each other's bodies years before, he had never gone so long without her body. He knew it was the least of his problems, but the hormones surging through him said otherwise. He sat back on his heels and covered her with a blanket in an attempt to settle himself.
She rolled over and pouted. "That felt so nice. Why'd you stop?"
"Well, uh..."
She spotted the bulge and giggled. His embarrassment was overcome by how happy he was to see her so happy. "Oh. Never mind, I get it."
He shrugged and smiled sheepishly. "Blue balls are a real thing, you know."
Her eyes twinkled. "Yeah? Like navy, or sky blue, or cerulean?"
He chuckled. "That last one isn't a real color."
"Right. Just like blue balls aren't a real thing."
"Baby, trust me. I haven't been this bad off in years. Actually, I don't think it's ever been this bad. I mean, before we really got together, I was desperate, but in a vague way. I didn't actually know what I was missing. Now that I knew what I'm not getting? Torture. If it weren't for the supernatural healing, I'd have chafed all the skin off the palm of my hand."
She laughed wholeheartedly, complaining, "Ow, ow! Don't make me laugh like that. My ribs hurt."
He tried unsuccessfully to keep a straight face. "Honey, you don't know what pain is like until you've had one of these." He pointed lewdly at his own crotch.
Leah laughed so hard that she fell back against her bed, clutching at her sides. When she was able to speak again, she retorted, "Actually, I have had that. Many times."
He collapsed beside her. When his own laughter finally died down, he threaded his fingers through her hair and said softly, "Yeah. I remember." They smiled gently at one another, and he wished he could stay in this moment forever. It was all he wanted: the two of them together, happy.
Yet it was not perfect. He could feel the imprint trying to call him back to Emily. He didn't want to go, and now he knew exactly how to resist. He was even confident that he would never return to the other woman. If he thought it would do him any good, he would simply avoid her forever. But until he confronted her, the imprint would always be there, a nagging voice in his ear, foreign urges trying to move his limbs, invisible chains binding him. He owed it to himself and to Leah to destroy the imprint once and for all.
"Will you move back into the cabin with me?" he asked without thinking.
She raised a brow, and the mischievous twinkle returned to her eye. "Why do you ask? Looking for some privacy to deal with your, um, little problem?"
"Hey." He frowned in an exaggerated fashion. "You can't possibly think it's little."
She giggled. "Guess not. It's your great big, stiff, throbbing problem."
"Yeah, that's more like it," he chuckled. "But seriously. I want you to come home."
The smile fell from her face, and she dropped her eyes to his chest. "Um, it seems a little soon, doesn't it?"
"Does it matter? We're supposed to be together, you and me. This is what it's supposed to be like. You make me so happy. You do so much for me. I'm a better person with you around. My mom even thinks so. For you, I push myself. I want to make a life for us. I want to be good for you, good to you. And I know I've done the exact opposite, that I've only hurt you and been cruel and awful..."
She interrupted, "You were never cruel, Sammy. No matter what happened, I never thought that."
"It's just, I can do so much better. I can and I will. I know what to do now, LeeLee, and I don't want to wait a single second to make that future we always wanted. I don't want to be apart. Not anymore. I can be so good to you. Please just let me show you."
She squeezed his hand. She wasn't ready, and opening his heart wasn't enough to convince her. It shouldn't have surprised him. She knew he loved her long before he said the words. "Let's just take it a day at a time, okay?"
Her response was more than fair, but it wasn't what he wanted to hear. After he truly rid himself of Emily, though, he was going to ask her again. He was going to win her back, completely and wholly, and he would give her the life they dreamed of.
Sam didn't press farther, letting the conversation flow naturally until he began to sense Emily's increasing desperation. She must have wondered how serious he was when he told her he did not want her, and the passing hours only made her anxiety worse. The imprint kept telling him to reassure her, to leave the comfort of Leah's bed and provide Emily with whatever she wanted. He was supposed to give himself over, but now that he had learned that the imprint was only as strong as its owner, it didn't even occur to him to move. He didn't say anything to Leah, who would only get frustrated. But then he sensed a shift, and he knew he had to be honest.
They were lying side-by-side, happily crammed together in her small bed, her head resting in the crook of his shoulder. He turned to kiss her from time to time, or he ran his fingers through her hair. Neither spoke, afraid to break the peaceful spell. He hated to disturb her, but he had to. "LeeLee?"
"Hmm?"
"I'm sorry, but I think she's coming."
She sat up to look at him. "Here? Now? How do you know?"
He nodded reluctantly while he reached for her waist. He wasn't ready for their bodies to be apart, not when he had missed her for so long. "I'm sure. I can feel it."
Her features hardened, but she lay back down against him. "Good. That's good."
He was confused as he pulled her close. "What? No it's not. I just want her to go away."
"Believe me, I've been hoping that that would happen for months now. But she can't be wished away. Trust me," she sighed.
"So how could it possibly be a good thing that she's coming over?"
"I think it's time I gave her a piece of my mind. I've held my tongue because I didn't know what to say, or I was just too angry to speak, or I thought I might end up really hurting her, plus I thought it wouldn't do any good. It was a mistake."
Sam didn't know what to think. He didn't want Leah to fight his battles for him, but more importantly, he didn't want to her be hurt any more than she already had. And though she had battled demons, had nearly gotten killed, no one had ever hurt her as badly as he and Emily had. Self-doubt crept in. What if he failed? What if he said something thoughtless? What if the imprint forced words into his throat that he didn't mean? What if he did something else that they would regret forever? She had given him chance after chance, far more than he deserved. Would she give him another? He sighed in resignation. It was an academic question. Emily was coming either way.
What Sam hadn't considered, however, was that Seth didn't see any reason to let her in. Emily was lucky that Sue was still at work. Sue would not have held her tongue. Actually, Emily had probably planned the timing of her arrival for that very reason.
When she knocked, Sam heard another voice and realized that Kim had joined her. It made sense. Emily didn't have the nerve to come on her own. Kim had probably dragged her over. Seth politely attempted to turn them away. He said that Sam was injured but recovering, and the best thing they could all do for him was let him sleep. Emily didn't take no for an answer, but she wasn't very pushy either. She said that she wouldn't disturb him, but that she needed to check on him for herself. Seth awkwardly refused.
Kim was more forceful. "I know that when Jared gets hurt, nothing can make him feel better than the way I can. It's the imprint. Sam needs Emily, and it's cruel of you to separate them."
As Sam and Leah climbed out of bed to face them, they heard Seth respond, "How am I keeping them apart? Sam came here on his own. No one dragged him here, and no one made him stay. He's here because he wants to be."
Kim didn't see it that way. "It was Paul who brought him. I know that they wanted your mom to check him out, which was a good idea, but now Emily needs to see him."
Seth resisted. "I think it's not a good time. He needs to rest. They both do. I hate to wake them up. Can I take a message?"
Sam and Leah headed down the hallway as they heard Kim insist, "No, Sam and Emily need each other. He won't be able to recover without her. And she needs him too. They can't be apart from each other for very long." Sam tried to rush, but his splint slowed him.
Seth argued, "Actually, Sam did pretty well in Seattle without Emily. And he's been as comfortable as he can be since he got here. Don't worry about him."
Emily finally spoke for herself. She was indignant as he tried to hobble down the stairs. "What are you talking about? He got hurt while he was on his own. Following Leah just got him into trouble."
Kim agreed. "This is your sister's fault. If it weren't for her, he wouldn't have gotten injured. If she hadn't run off so recklessly, they'd both be fine."
Seth was getting frustrated. "If it weren't for Leah, Jake, and Sam going to Seattle, Victoria would still be alive and murdering people, making more vampires to attack us, to attack you. Is that what you want?"
"Of course not," Kim answered. "But she abandoned the pack and took the Alpha with her. She needs to understand how dangerous her actions were."
Seth started to lose his temper. "Are you kidding? Did Old Quil feed you that line? Do you really want to have a conversation about who's bad for the pack? I don't get it. What the heck is your problem with my sister? She saved your life. If it weren't for her, you'd be dead."
Leah had been supporting Sam under his arm, but now she rushed to the front door, incapable of listening any longer without responding. She yanked it open. "Kim, whatever you have to say, say it to my face."
Seth tried to get her to go back inside. "It's okay, I'm getting them to go."
But Emily had already spotted Sam through the open door. Her eyes widened at the sight of his fading bruises and his splinted leg. "Sam? Oh my gosh, are you okay?"
Sam acknowledged her with a curt nod, but he stepped behind Leah and put his hands on her shoulders. "Girls," he greeted them. "What's going on?"
Leah answered, "I was just about to explain to my brother why Kim is here."
Once more, Seth tried to rebuff them. "Actually, they were just leaving, right?"
Kim insisted, "No, Emily's place is with Sam. That's why we're here."
Seth shook his head. His placid nature had finally reached its limits. "Seriously, I don't understand. I mean, I get why Emily came over, but what are you doing here? What is your problem?" he asked Kim.
Before Kim could answer, Leah stated simply, "She needs Sam and Emily together. That's why she's here."
Kim looked startled, while Seth said, "What? Why would she care? I mean, I get that you guys are friends, but Sam and my sister have been together forever. He asked Leah to marry him ages ago. So why are you so hell bent on making sure they stay broken up?"
Kim stammered, "It's not… I don't…"
Leah said calmly, "Like I said. I know it's not personal. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. It's not about Sam and Em even. It's about their imprint. That's what she needs to work."
"What are you talking about?" Seth asked.
"She needs imprinting to be infallible. That's what this is all about. We all know that Jared didn't give her a second glance before he imprinted on her. If it weren't for imprinting, she'd still just be an invisible girl with a hopeless crush. So she needs imprinting to work completely. If Sam can resist Em, then Jared can resist her. If Sam figures out how to break his imprint, then Jared could do that too. And she knows that without imprinting, she and Jared have nothing. That's what this is all about. That's why she keeps sticking her nose where it doesn't belong."
Everyone gawked at Leah, even Emily. But Kim found her voice. "You don't know what you're talking about. You're just bitter that Sam didn't imprint on you, that you're not good enough, and that you'll probably never imprint yourself. Just because you're miserable doesn't mean you need to make everybody around you just as unhappy as you."
Leah just folded her arms over her chest, coolly eyeing Kim, but Sam couldn't stay so calm. "You should be careful. You don't want to say something you're going to regret. Leah's done more for our pack than any single other member. So you should be really careful about what you say about her."
Kim looked disgusted. "No, she's just a freak. Women aren't supposed to be shifters, it's just wrong. She's just wrong. And she doesn't know what she's talking about. Jared and I are soulmates. You and Emily, too. The spirits chose us for each other, it wasn't some random accident. There is nothing more obvious in the world. Sam, the only reason you can't see that is because Leah's blinding you. Emily has been right here all along, in love with you, and she's perfect for you. She'll take care of you like no one else can. Not Leah; she's only going to get you into trouble. You just can't see it because she's blinded you. She's put some kind of spell on you."
Leah actually laughed out loud. "I'm the one who put the spell on him? You're right that there's some black fucking magic going on around here, but it sure as hell isn't from me. You want to know who's responsible for all of this? Take a peek in the mirror, and then take a look at your new friend. You turned Jared into your slave. Worse than that, you've fooled him into thinking he's happy. But it's nothing better than supernatural brainwashing. You've turned him into your puppet. Hell, you make me feel like I should be grateful that Sam imprinted on Em and not you. At least Sam can still tell the difference between his thoughts and hers. She's left him with some semblance of his dignity."
Emily shook her head. She wanted to argue, but seeing the way Sam was holding on to Leah made her nervous. "You're not being fair. You don't know what it's like. It's not your fault, Leah, that you aren't an imprint, but you just can't understand. Look, I don't want to get into this here. Sam, come home and we'll talk. Please."
Sam felt the pull felt the inevitability, the undeniability of it. But now he had seen it for what it really was. It was a lie. It was nothing but a trap, ties to bind him to this woman, to this reservation, to this place. If he went to Emily, if he stayed with her, he could foresee the life that stretched before him. There would be no change, no growth, no progress. She would keep him here forever, afraid of losing him, never letting him rediscover who he really was or who he could become. She would mold him into her ideal mate, and he would never be anything more. He would never go to college, because she would be too afraid that he would meet someone else or grow beyond her. They would never move beyond the boundaries of the reservation, because she was too afraid of losing the support of the few allies she had on the council, and of any other imprinted couples. He would keep a steady, modest job to support her, give her children to call her family, be a protector of his land and his people, and whatever else she wanted him to do. It could be a good life if he could share it with Leah, but this vision was Emily's, not his, and not Leah's. He would cease to exist. "No," he said simply. "That's not my home, and I'm not leaving until Leah kicks me out."
Emily frowned. "You don't mean that. Of course it's your home."
He felt words of false agreement bubbling through his chest, but he shoved them down. "It's yours, not mine."
With every denial, he could feel Emily's confidence wavering. She was beginning to look alarmed. "You just had a bad injury. You hit your head."
Leah started to answer, but Sam softly said, "Yes, I got hurt, I almost died. And Leah saved my life. My whole life, whenever anything went wrong, if anything bad happened, I knew I could count on her. This time is no different."
Kim tried to soften her approach, realizing her harsh words were only making them defensive. "Look, we know Leah is an important member of the pack. But that's just the thing. She's pack, not your imprint. Leah is always going to be a part of your life, of course she is. But she's not your imprint."
But Leah was done being polite. She was trembling with barely suppressed anger under Sam's hands. She broke contact by stepping forward, looking down at the petite girl. "Look, I've tried to stay civil with you. But you're getting on my last nerve."
Seth tried to step between them, worried that Leah was going to lose her temper. Sam didn't really care if Kim got hurt in the process, not after all she had done to interfere with his life, but he didn't want to Leah to phase too soon and re-break her bones. He pulled Leah back while Seth said to Kim, "I really think it's time for you guys to go. This isn't helping the situation at all."
"No," Leah interrupted. "I have something to say. I should've done this ages ago. Emily, forget what you've done to me. At this point, I couldn't care less that we were ever best friends, that we ever called each other sister. You've shown me your true colors. I can't believe I have to explain this to you, but Sam isn't your plaything. He doesn't belong to you. He's a person, not your slave. He doesn't want you. He even told you that, and you wouldn't listen."
Emily's eyes flitted anxiously between them. "But… But he didn't mean it. He took it back. You said you loved me, Sam. I know you didn't say it to Leah, not once in your whole life. You said it to me, when you've never said it to her. That means something."
Sam started to reply, but Leah's harsh laugh stopped him. "You think that was real? That wasn't him talking. It was the imprint. He said it because you made him say it, not because he actually felt it. Have you not figured this out by now? He has to say what you want him to say. What you tell him to do, it's like an alpha order. That's the kind of power you have over him, and you're abusing it. You're abusing him. If you guys had just fallen in love, for real, it would have broken my heart. It would have crushed me. But maybe I could've understood. But this? I'll never forgive you for this. Betray me if you want, but stop fucking with Sam. You tried to mold him into whatever you wanted, regardless of how he felt about it. It's like you dismantled him piece by piece, and threw out the things you didn't like, then mashed it up with a bunch of your own selfishness. You took this beautiful person and you tried to destroy him. I'll never forgive you for that. Never."
Tears filled Emily's eyes, and she did not try to stem the flow. "It wasn't like that. That's not how it is."
"Really?" Leah scoffed. "Look, I get it, okay? I know why you fell for him. I get it. If I were in your shoes, I probably would have too. Hell, I did. He's amazing. He's everything you've always wanted, right? He's handsome, he's strong, he's honorable, he's smart, he's kind. But he doesn't love you. He tried to tell you himself, but you wouldn't hear it. Try to deny it, but the whole pack knows. Em, the one time you finally asked him what he wanted, he told you he wanted me, not you. Do you remember?"
"H-he was c-confused," Emily stammered.
"Confused? The only person confusing him was you! You made him say the things he said! He didn't mean any of them. He finally managed to tell you something honest, and all you did was throw it back in his face. And when he fought it, when he said he didn't want you, because you couldn't accept it, he actually got kicked out of his own body. He had an out-of-body experience. That's how much power you have. And that's how much you abused it."
This time Emily had no argument. She was stunned. Kim whispered, "You're making that up. That's a lie."
Sam tightened his grip on Leah's shoulders, glaring at Emily. "It's exactly what happened."
Seth confirmed. "It's true. I saw it. We all did."
"Don't you push me," Leah hissed at Kim. "You may have Jared wrapped around your little finger, you might have him at your beck and call. But you and I both know you brainwashed him. You can pretend that it's fate or kismet or something, but you and I both know you're making him live a lie."
"And what am I supposed to do?" Emily pleaded. "What am I supposed to do with this?"
"You need to find your own life," Leah answered. "You can try to live my life, but you'll never fit into it. Sam needs a stronger woman than you. He needs someone who compliments him the way he is. He needs someone to watch his back. But more than that, he deserves someone who loves him the way he is, not the way she wants him to be. This is what you do; don't you see that? You fall for guys because of who you're hoping they'll become, not who they actually are. You kept thinking you could fix Mark, but you can't. No one can change Mark but Mark. So you've got to let him go. And Sam? This time the imprint gave you the power to change him until he matches some figment of your imagination. But it's not him. It's not real."
Emily started to back away. Kim kept her from stumbling off the porch. She mumbled, "But I'm his imprint. Not you. If you were supposed to be together, you'd have imprinted on each other."
Leah spat out, "The universe doesn't get to decide our fates. We do! You know what the spirits want? They want me dead! The spirits sent monster after monster to kill me, to kill us. But I'm still here, god damn it! I refuse to die, and I refuse to let you destroy Sam!"
Sam knew that Leah's words were having an effect, but it wasn't enough. There was doubt in Emily's heart, but she persisted in believing that Leah had some kind of unnatural hold on him. The irony was not lost on him. He knew, though, that his own words meant more to Emily than Leah's. Sam pulled Leah into his arms to show Emily what he really wanted. He turned her and tucked her face into his chest while she tried to calm down. He could feel Emily wavering. Her confidence was shaken, and with it, the imprint itself. Could he destroy it completely? Above Leah's hea, he looked Emily directly in the eyes. "You're right about one thing. Leah's not my imprint. She's my mate."
Emily fled. She hurried to Kim's car, and the girls sped away. Sam smiled. The imprint wasn't gone, but he could feel its moorings crumbling away. He took a deep, cleansing breath, and he dipped his head into Leah's neck. As he nuzzled her mark with his nose, inhaling the spicy scent that was he had missed so much, he heard the smile in her voice. "Your mate, huh?"
"My mate," he repeated, his wolf purring with satisfaction. "My everything."
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A/N: Thanks again to Babs81410, and for the Non Canon Award nomination.