I'm back as promised! - thank you for all the reviews you guys keep my muse going.
SPOILERS - this week - Erica and Krystal recieve a letter, Tad makes a breakthrough and JR has an unexpected visitor
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Bianca unlocked the door and walked into the house, calling out Marissa's name. It was a big house, so it was unlikely that she would hear her if she wasn't close by, but it was worth a try. She had gotten away from the office and early, bringing home a bunch of flowers to try and cheer Marissa up before they left for the trial tomorrow.
Bianca carefully put the flowers and her keys on the table in the middle of the entrance hall and made her way through to the kitchen. Maybe Marissa had already made a start on tonight's supper. She followed her nose, but there was no smell of cooking. When she got there she discovered the kitchen was empty. Doubt began to creep in and Bianca moved back to the entrance hall; maybe Marissa wasn't home yet?
Bianca poked her head into the mud room and Marissa's brown coat was clearly hanging on a hook, so she was home… That only left once place to look.
Bianca made her way carefully up the stairs. The medical boot she was still having to put up with, making the trip slow and awkward. She called out Marissa's name again when she got to the landing and noticed the door to their bedroom half opened. Still there was no reply.
Bianca pushed open the bedroom door to see Marissa sat on the floor at the side of the bed, her eyes staring off into the distance.
"Marissa?" Bianca called again.
Marissa made no sign that she could hear her.
"Marissa, are you alright!" Bianca called again, louder, as she hurried forward and collapsed awkwardly at her side. Her mind filled with fear at the way Marissa was staring blankly ahead, had she had another fit?
Marissa blinked and turned to Bianca, finally hearing her.
"I remember." she gasped, a look of wonder appearing on her previously blank face.
"What?" Bianca asked, finally taking in the scene; the suitcase on the bed and the box hugged to Marissa's belly, containing the little music box she had brought her so long ago. Then she noticed the smile that lit Marissa's face.
Marissa reached out and cupped Bianca's chin leaning forward for a kiss, but just before their lips met she paused and looked down briefly before finally closing the gap. Bianca's heart skipped a beat; that was a move of Marissa of old, she would always pause and give a teasing smile before the start of every kiss.
Bianca's mind was awash with realisation.
"Marissa?" she whispered in wonder.
Marissa's smiled widened.
"I remember everything." she sighed.
"Everything?" Bianca asked breathlessly.
Marissa sat back and took a deep breath.
"Everything… I remember my mom's apple pie; dad always complained she used too much cinnamon but then he would always have two slices… I remember the long night beside JR's bedside after his chemotherapy… I remember the look of surprise on Scott's face when I told him I was in love with you… I remember everything!"
From where she was sat Marissa could see her reflection on the mirror on the closet door. She was distracted to see herself, familiar and yet unfamiliar at the same time. She put aside the music box and got up from the floor to walk towards the mirror, examining her own features searching to see if something had changed.
She ran her fingers though her short locks, the new part of her still expecting her red hair to hang in long waves passed her shoulders. Her fingers brushed against the bump of scar tissue at the back of her head and unconsciously her finger followed the scar back to her forehead. And then her hand moved to the ruby red heart pendant that hung around her neck, the gift Bianca had given her on the night of the film premier, a gift base on a story made up by their three precious children. The weight of the pendant felt like something new to her but at the same time it was as much a part of her as her own skin.
"Marissa." Bianca asked, worry in her voice.
Marissa smiled; Bianca was the one constant in all the confusing new thoughts that filled her head.
Marissa looked in the mirror over the shoulder of her reflection to her girlfriend and noticed for the first time how awkwardly Bianca was crouched. Her crutches abandoned on the floor, her left leg sticking out at an uncomfortable angle as she struggled to sit down in the spot Marissa had just vacated. Bianca rearranged herself ungracefully, straightening out her left leg where it had been twisted and then loosened the straps around her knee brace.
Marissa watched her movements, her attention drawn to Bianca's lame leg. She had lived through it all alongside her, the surgery, the recovery, the therapy and the many, many pills, but it also felt like it had been someone else at the same time. It was an unsettling sensation.
Bianca noticed her staring.
"Are you okay?"
"I just feel strange." said Marissa.
"Do you need to go to hospital?" Bianca asked, shifting again, in attempt to get to her feet. Marissa hurried forward to stop her. "Do you need to talk to Dr Stanhope?"
"No," she said, taking a seat on the floor beside Bianca and taking her hand, entwining their fingers. "There's just a lot to take in. It just feels like I'm suddenly two people, like the past year has been a dream… I wasn't really myself even though I was… does that make sense."
"And now you are all you?"
"Yeah." said Marissa, frowning as she spoke, as if she wasn't even sure it made sense to her. "I mean I was me…"
"…But there were bits missing." finished Bianca.
Marissa looked up at Bianca and smiled.
"Just that." she said, amazed at the way her girlfriend could always finish her thoughts.
"And you remember everything." said Bianca, she was being supportive but there was a hint of uncertainly behind her eyes. "You mentioned Scott and JR?"
Marissa nodded and the she gasped.
"Oh god, Scott! I've barely spoken to him since the shooting… I was so embarrassed by the thought that I'd slept with him that I didn't know how to talk to him…" Marissa then stopped, now recognising the reason for Bianca's uncertainty. "You mean 'do I remember being straight?'" said Marissa giving her girlfriend's hand a supportive squeeze.
Bianca looked embarrassed by being caught out by her insecurity.
Marissa stroked her cheek and smiled warmly at Bianca.
"I think that's one thing I'm going to miss about not remembering… I liked the feeling that you were the only person I've ever fallen in love with…." she said thoughtfully. "You just made it so easy to fall for you twice over."
"Well I wasn't going to lose you." said Bianca slowly smiling back.
"And you never will." said Marissa. "When we were just starting out I said I'd never let you go and I meant it!"
She leant close for another kiss, pausing just a second before closing the last little gap.
"Why do you do that?" Bianca asked.
Marissa pulled away, not sure what Bianca was talking about.
"Just before you kiss me," Bianca explained, "You always pause, look down and then move in. Or at least you always used to… You never told me why."
Marissa blinked, did she do that? As she thought about it she realised she did… and she knew the reason why.
Marissa grinned and leaned forward seductively for another almost kiss.
"I do that, because just before our lips meet you always do the most perfect little smile… Just like that!" she added and as that beautiful curve appeared on Bianca's lips at their closeness, "…and I don't want to miss it."
Bianca's smile grew even larger and Marissa couldn't hold back from capturing those lip with her own.
After the kiss they sighed and rested their foreheads together.
"Are you sure you don't need to talk to someone?" Bianca asked, "Dr Stanhope?"
Marissa shook her head, without moving away from her position gazing into Bianca's eyes.
"He'll be busy getting ready for the trial…" said Marissa. Then she paused and mouthed the words 'oh crap' as her face fell. "The trial!"
Bianca squeezed her hands not realising the implications.
"It will be okay." she said. "We can get through this."
Marissa pulled back from Bianca's comforting gaze.
"No!" she exclaimed, "You don't understand. I remember! I remember everything about that night! The text message! Scott's bad joke about us being late because we were both women and would therefore be twice as late for everything for the rest of time! I remember the woman with the gun! You falling on top of me and the blood and thinking you were dead!" Marissa reached out and touched the mess of scar tissue on Bianca's neck and then her hand dropped down onto her lap. "And I remember JR shooting that woman and then turning the gun on me with such anger in his eyes! I remember it all now!"
Bianca stared back, still confused about the point Marissa was trying to make.
"But that's a good thing. You can tell them in court exactly what happened!"
"Don't you think the defence council are going to be a little suspicious about the fact that I miraculously got my memory back just days before the trial! It will make things worse!" said Marissa looking at Bianca in despair. "As amazing as this is, the timing absolutely sucks!"
…