Chapter 18: Christmas

The bow slid expertly across the strings, creating a melodious sound. The people in the common room smiled as they listened to the stranger playing. Sherlock stood gazing out the window at the snow-covered ground, playing his new violin. He moved the bow back and forth, long and slow, creating a fine tune. He smiled as it filled the room and surrounded him.

It had been a Christmas present from Mycroft. One that Sherlock had been surprised, but glad, to receive. It was one o'clock in the afternoon and he was patiently awaiting Emmaline's arrival so he could give her the present he had picked out. He had bought it before Halloween, on his trip to Florida. Mycroft had dropped it off, wrapped for him, since it had been left in Sherlock's flat.

He allowed the music to swell, carrying him away, so he did not notice when Emmaline entered. She walked into the common room, shivering from the cold December air. She paused however, when she heard the violin music. A wide smile stretched across her face. So Mycroft had gotten him the violin after all.

She stopped in the doorway, listening to the beautiful music he was creating. Sherlock had downplayed his talent; and this was much better than his tapping rhythm's. She watched the bow slide across the strings and create the sound she was hearing. His long fingers pressed upon the neck of the instrument, holding it against the curve of his throat and shoulder. Emma smiled and leaned her head against the doorjamb. She could stand here all day, listening to him play.

He happened to turn and see her standing there. A smile lit his face and he lowered the violin, his music ceasing.

"Emmaline." He greeted as she walked over to him.

"Why did you stop?" She asked. "It was lovely."

Sherlock smiled down at her, not answering. He was just happy to see her here, finally.

"Will you play for me Sherlock?" Emmaline asked sweetly.

Sherlock smiled softly. "Later, I promise. It's Christmas. So, Happy Christmas." He leaned over and picked up a flat present, and handed it to her.

"Oh Sherlock, you shouldn't have!" Emma took the gift and sat down.

"I had Mycroft get it from the flat before he showed up this morning." He spoke while Emmaline tore the paper from the present. "I got it in Florida; it seemed something you would like." Sherlock stated nervously, waiting for her reaction.

"Oh Sherlock, thank you." Emmaline ran her fingers down the glossy cover of the record. "The White Stripes. Sounds good."

She stood up, threw her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek. Surprised, Sherlock stood tense for a moment before reciprocating the warmth and wrapping his arms around her.

"Thank you." She said, kissing his cheek again.

"So you do like it?"

"I love it; I will have to listen to it when I get home."

Emma sat down and put the vinyl record on the table next to her. She dug around in her bag until she found what she was looking for – Sherlock's present.

"For you." She said, handing it over.

Sherlock took it without a word and sat, putting his violin down against the chair. He looked over the paper and decided that it was a book, but he did not know which one. Emma sat there nervously, hoping that he would like it.

He opened the top corner and peeled the paper off the book, finally revealing the title to his eyes.

"The Odyssey."He read aloud.

"Have you read it already?" Emma asked.

"No." Sherlock flipped open the book to the first page. He skimmed it briefly before setting it aside.

"Thank you." He told her.

Sherlock leaned over and put a hand on her shoulder, and kissed her cheek. "I'll read it tonight."

Emma blushed but Sherlock did not see; he stooped down to pick up his violin. "I think the lady requested a tune." He burst jovially, standing.

Emmaline smiled and sat back in her chair, excited and waiting. Sherlock brought the bow to the violin strings and began to play for her, "Ode to Joy."

She sat listening intently, finding herself being carried away by the music and the man playing it so expertly. I am glad I met you, she thought. So glad you are my best friend.

After a few minutes of beautiful playing Sherlock stopped. He had been looking out the window the whole time, and had realized, that he wanted to go outside. He had barely been on the grounds while here and he wanted to take a walk, damn the cold.

"Emmaline, do you want to take a walk?" He turned around to where she was sitting.

"Sure." She smiled brightly before standing. "We'll have to take the presents back to your room, and get you in something warmer."

"Alright." Sherlock gathered up his book and violin and started for his room.

Emmaline followed quietly behind. She was still thinking about how beautifully Sherlock had played; he could have been a musician. Instead, he chose to live in a slum of an apartment and consult with the police once a week, which was about as often as they needed him.

Emma found Sherlock putting up his book and instrument, and rooting around in his closet for something warm.

"They don't give you a lot of clothes do they?"

"We have a regulation jumper somewhere in here." Sherlock stated. "Unless Toby took mine to smuggle more pills." He trailed off, reaching a hand deeper into the small closet.

"You mean you don't know?" Emmaline asked curiously.

"Well, he's been clean for two weeks now so who knows." Sherlock cried triumphantly, hand emerging from the closet with a royal blue jumper.

He quickly put it on over his white shirt and rooted around for jeans and boots. Emma turned around and put her record down while he dressed.

"Do they give you a coat too?" She asked.

"I have to check one out at the desk." He answered.

Emma turned around once he was finished getting ready. They walked to the front desk so Sherlock could get a coat, and then made their way around to the common room door that led to the outside.

"I can't wait to breathe fresh air again." Sherlock zipped himself up and stepped outside.

Emma followed and closed the door. "Have you not been outside in a while?" She shoved her hands in her pockets, trying to keep the cold out.

"Not since I arrived here. I have not found a reason good enough to be out here."

"Why not?"

"There are always orderlies around, watching what you do. Even out here." Sherlock stated. "I hate being watched all the time." He thought of the cameras that Mycroft had in Sherlock's flat. The cameras had saved his life.

"If I am watched all the time, then how am I going to be able to enjoy myself at all, even outside?"

Emma stepped closer to Sherlock as they walked a winding gravel path, past a frozen pond. "How much longer until you get out of here?"

"Until Mycroft thinks I am better. Dr. Oppel says I will get out in February."

"That's two months away." Emma whined.

Sherlock grinned. "You think it bothers you, me being in here? My roommate is a meth addict."

"I just want you to get better." Emma insisted. "But I do miss you." Emma added, stepping next to Sherlock and taking his hand.

"You see me every day." Sherlock pointed out, confused.

"I know but it is not the same. I am glad you are getting better, but I miss hanging out with you. We can't do that here."

Sherlock squeezed her hand. "Do you think I am getting better?" He stopped walking on the path and looked down at her.

Emma stood there and stared at him. "Yes." She said after a minute's pause. "You look healthier at least. Your skin is not so sallow; the bruises under your eyes are gone. Your hair is shinier, darker." Emma brushed a stray curl from Sherlock's forehead. "You have gained weight; you just look healthier. But how do you feel?"

"The first week I was here I felt awful; detoxing apparently. It is not so bad now; I used the morphine to help me sleep though. Sometimes I just cannot get to bed and I feel like I need it." Sherlock admitted.

"And the cocaine?" Emmaline asked.

Sherlock sighed heavily and resumed walking. He brushed his thumb against the back of Emmaline's hand while he thought.

"I was at University; I had no friends, it was my first immersion into society." Sherlock looked down at the ground as he spoke. "I thought that if I did the drugs it would take my mind away from all the painful thoughts. That I would be able to think clearly, after I took it. But, it just made the pain worse."

"What thoughts?" Emma asked, concerned.

"I was a twenty year old guy who was just leaving home for the first time. The first time I was around any of my peers and they all rejected me and made fun of me. What do you think?" Sherlock looked at Emmaline for a fleeting moment; she caught the pain in his eyes.

"So you took the cocaine to escape, and the morphine to sleep."

"I have nightmares." Sherlock confessed. "I dream about the night my father died and it's just his death on repeat. I can never stop it. The only thing that helped was the morphine. Since I cannot have it anymore, I wake up every night in a cold sweat and I never get any sleep."

Emma stopped walking and her hand in Sherlock's hand caused him to jerk back. He turned to look at her and saw that her eyes were watering.

"What's wrong?"

Emma smiled sadly and closed her eyes, trying to block the tears. One fell and rolled down her cheek. She opened her eyes to stare at Sherlock.

"I still check under my bed, for monsters." She admitted.

Sherlock paused. He had admitted something, and so had she. He had given her a piece of himself, and she had given one back. Was this how friendship worked? Two equally damaged people gravitated towards one another, to try and glue each other back together?

Sherlock put an arm around Emmaline and kissed the side of her head. She laughed shortly as they continued walking.

"We're quite the pair." She observed.

"Yes, we are." He replied.

"Merry Christmas Sherlock." She said, nestling herself closer to him as they walked back to the Centre.

"Happy Christmas Emmaline."

They walked back inside and Sherlock checked the coat back in. He had to go back to his room to change into the regulation outfit, now that he was indoors. Emma sat down at a table with a chess board and started randomly moving pieces, waiting for him to come back.

"You're doing it wrong you know." He said as he sat down across from her.

"I don't know how to play." She stated.

"I will teach you."

Emmaline smiled as Sherlock took the pieces and set them on the board.