A/N - Wow, three follows? You guys made my day! So did my three reviewers.

I don't own PJO, I never have, and I never will.

Fanfiction, Mortal Website, Creates Pertemis: Along with Pothena, the mortals of have written about Pertemis: Percy Jackson and Artemis.

Artemis: What?

Percy Jackson: Me and Artemis? Whoever wrote this article will regret it. I mean, isn't Artemis a virgin goddess?

Artemis: I am!

Aphrodite: You are not! Your true love has been revealed!

Artemis: Wait, what is this article about?

Percy Jackson: Trust me, you don't want to know.

Apollo: Ha!

Artemis does love

Percy Jackson (demigod)

True love revealed

Artemis: Wait. Wait. Whoa, Apollo. What was that about?

Apollo: heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeloll ollollollollollololollololol olololololololololololol

Artemis should know

What we are talking about

Read the article

Hermes: Yes, yes, go on, Artemis. Or maybe that isn't the best idea -

Artemis: I read the article. I just don't think I read it right.

Apollo: Oh, you read it right. You definitely did.

Percy Jackson: Unfortunately.

Artemis: Who wrote this article?

Aphrodite: That would be me. Beautiful and proud, baby.

Hermes: And quite foolish.

Percy Jackson: Yep.

Aphrodite: ? When was I foolish?

Hermes: Oh, forget I said anything.

Zeus: We should check on Artemis. Just, you know, to make sure she isn't, you know, trying to get back at Aphrodite.

Percy Jackson: Oh, she'll be trying to get revenge. I hope she does. I mean, Pertemis.

Aphrodite: Oh, that's sweet. I like the concern, but Artemis will neverkfdjgoirgjrfgh b gf!

Hephaestus: Artemis came through.

Thalia Grace: Of course she did.

Percy Jackson: Is Aphrodite a jackalope yet?

Aphrodite: I renounce my ways, I wish I was a jackalope, I admit thatdoanfvso - sorry, I admit that Pertemis is nonexistent and I was very foolish for ever assuminfdGVBQOF

Zeus: Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Wh -

Hermes: Calm down, Zeus. Aphrodite...what was that about?

Aphrodite: Oh, Artemis thought she couldgnoigbnqsonog Pertemis is nonexistent, so is Pothena, I resignargcynifxmX THEY ARE TOTally awesome pairings and both are true andjCvnikvnNCSVN I WILL NEVER AGain write an article AND MAKE SURE I KEEP THIS PRomisednFLFBEOARTEMIS IS CRAZY GET HER AWay i didnt write any of thatbhyes I did and I really mean it -

Thalia Grace: You can get her! Go Artemis!

Percy Jackson: Umm, avenge us!

Artemis: Woohoo, Artemis is off her computer!

Hermes: Who is that, then?

Artemis: Ohhhh, hi dad - hi dad - thought we'd comment - but you cut off our Internet - no, that was Hephaestus - sorry, it was Hephaestus - but you told him to - yeah, you did.

Hermes: Travis? Connor? How are you getting onto her computer? Are you on Olympus?

Artemis: No, dad - Leo showed us how - awesome guy - totally awesome - still in our cabin - but on Artemis's account - gods have accounts? - Yes, and this is hers!

Leo Valdez: Team Leo for the win!

Hephaestus: Leo, you do realize that you put Travis and Connor in unspeakable danger?

Leo Valdez: Oh, sorry guys. I guess Artemis is gonna kill you. Too bad. Hey dad, did you really cut their Internet connection?

Hephaestus: Hermes asked me to.

Artemis: My own dad! - Hey, mine too! - Yours too - could someone tell me - us - yeah, us, when Artemis comes back?

Hermes: She's coming back. Uh, I think that's her! That you, Artemis? Uh, yeah, she's coming, so you'd better clear out!

Artemis: k then - see ya - bye dad - off right now - ouch, that was my finger! - sorry, why were you on the exclamation mark? - I dunno, but watch it! - bye dad - yeah, bye.

Athena: You're such a bad liar.

Hermes: *warning look* I wasn't lying, she, uh, really is coming.

Hephaestus: Guys, they're off Artemis's account.

Hermes: *sighs with relief*

Athena: Artemis shouldn't have left her computer.

Artemis: Yeah, sorry about that.

Hermes: You're back!

Apollo: Yeah, great, you're back.

Artemis: Wow, Apollo, such enthusiasm. Nice to see you, too.

Hermes: *clears throat* So, Artemis, mind sharing your adventures with us?

Artemis: Which ones? The one with the Hephaestus jackalope?

Thalia Grace: That was awesome. Sorry, Lord Hephaestus.

Hephaestus: I'm fine as long as you don't mention it!

Artemis: Or perhaps you mean the time we fought that Draco Aionius.

Thalia Grace: Oh, you mean that giant lizard thing? Now that was awesome.

Percy Jackson: That lizard attacked camp! Did you kill it? I hope so.

Thalia Grace: Yeah, we killed it.

Hermes: No, not whatever adventure you're talking about. I mean the whole taking-over-Aphrodite-and writing-as-her thing. You know. That.

Artemis: Oh, that. Well, she wrote that article, so I got back at her.

Hermes: And where is she now?

Artemis: Hmm, let's see. APHRODITE!

Athena: What'd you do to her? Because whatever it is - thanks.

Artemis: No problem. I simply knocked her out. It wasn't that hard, really. Well, she won't be bothering us anymore.

Hades: Good. She has serious problems.

Demeter: Hades! How dare you show your face here!

Hades: What'd I ever do to you to deserve this greeting?

Demeter: PERSEPHONE. KIDNAPPING. UNDERWORLD. BRIDE. Remember now?

Hades: Oh, yeah, that. But that was, like, a few millennia ago!

Demeter: That's no excuse!

Ares: And you made Persephone stay half of the year, and she still has to, and you devastated both Demeter and Persephone.

Demeter: Yeah! Wait, I'm actually agreeing with...wow. Never would have thought that was possible.

Athena: Amazing, isn't it, where the unchecked mind can travel.

Hermes: English, please.

Athena: That was in English.

Hermes: Well, please translate it into English that we can actually understand.

Athena: You couldn't understand that?

Apollo: No. Duh. Of course we couldn't. We're not all total brainiacs like you, Athena.

Artemis: And my brother is especially dull.

Apollo: Dull?

Artemis: Yes, dull. Would you prefer inexplicably unintelligent?

Apollo: No, English is fine, thanks.

Artemis: Because both describe you perfectly.

Apollo: I know everything about the future, sis.

Artemis: And only about the future.

Apollo: Hey, I know lots of other stuff.

Artemis: Sure you do.

Ares: I hate to break up a fight, but I would like to bring our attention back to Pertemis, that awesomely accurate pairing.

Artemis: Accurate?

Percy Jackson: There is no Pertemis!

Athena: There is no Pertemis, nor is there a Pothena. Aphrodite is somewhere, oblivious to this, not bothering us. This is a great place to end it for today.

Hermes: Bye then.

A/N - I got sort of carried away there. Hope you liked it! Review, maybe? Thanks!