024. Family
After Kaitou Kid left, Shinichi just broke. He couldn't take it anymore. All the lies that had piled up over the past two plus years had finally reached a tipping point, and the contempt that the detective knew Kid held for Shinichi Kudo was the straw that finally broke the camel's back. He couldn't see the point of it anymore. He was finally Shinichi Kudo again…why was he still lying to her? His excuse that had seemed so important a mere half hour before seemed so flimsy and ridiculous now. As things were, he couldn't tell her anything, but he needed her. He needed her help, her support. He needed his older sister. He needed Ran.
After he allowed himself to finally admit just how much he needed her, the high school detective went into a complete daze, and when he came back to reality, he jumped, startled, because there, staring back at him from the Mouri Detective Office's doorway, was an equally shocked Ran. Their gazes locked, both opening and closing their mouths in an attempt to say something, but no sound came forth from either set of vocal chords. It was eerily silent until Shinichi's whole body just slumped with defeat, and he let out a shaky breath that also sounded like a desperate plea for help.
"I'm sorry," Shinichi whispered, just barely loud enough for Ran to hear. "I'm so sorry. I'm the worst person in the world. It's been me the whole time. I was Conan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." And he just kept apologizing, gaze fluttering around, not able to stay locked with Ran's for very long. He was too afraid to see the same contempt he felt from Kaitou Kid reflected in her eyes. He didn't need her understanding, her forgiveness, or for her to not be mad at him. He just needed her not to hate him. He just needed the only person who had ever been a solid familial presence in his life. He just needed Ran.
The words Ran had been planning to say dried up instantly, disappearing completely in the wake of Shinichi's confession. Instead, she was overwhelmed with a fury so powerful that even the concept of words flew from her mind, and at that moment, Ran wanted nothing more than to return every hurt, every sadness, and every betrayal she'd suffered at his hands one thousand fold. In fact, she almost did. Her fist was mere inches from the detective's face when something made her stop. Looking back, the girl could never remember why she suddenly felt the need to stop herself from breaking her childhood's friend nose, but she was always glad for whatever that elusive something was.
Because when she stopped, Ran actually saw Shinichi, and what she saw was an hair of defeat around him she'd never seen before, not even when he'd been Conan. He looked like a lost, helpless child, seemed even younger than the eight-year-old he'd been just yesterday, and all of Ran's instincts were screaming at her to wrap little Conan in a hug and comfort him…except it was Shinichi standing in front of her. Confused by her own feelings and livid with the detective as she was, Ran could still see with absolute clarity that Shinichi needed her right then, perhaps more than he ever had before, and quite honestly, that really was the most important thing.
So, she did what her sisterly instincts told her to do and pulled the detective into a tight hug. She didn't lie and tell him everything was okay, but she did reassure him that she still cared about him. She would always love him and be there for him when he needed her, especially now. She couldn't imagine many people knew about his secret, and those that did probably knew him as Conan or as Shinichi but not as both. She did, and despite everything else, he was family, maybe not in the capacity she'd always hoped they would one day be. But they were family, and they were finally together again. For quite a while, things were going to be hard, but with the initial burst of anger passed, she recognized that she needed him just as much as he needed her. And she was determined that nothing was going to sunder them again. Her family was broken enough as it was; she wasn't going to let go the one person who had always been there for her.
Oh, he'd lied, lied, and lied some more and manipulated and pretended, but she, at the very least, understood that he must have had reasons and must have been doing what he thought was best for her. He'd done it very, very wrongly, but he'd always been there; that was the truth.
And they were family. Eventually, they'd work it out.