I realise now it was the internet not my computer that was against me yesterday… grrr!

I hope it works today!

This is a short chapter – but tomorrow's will be a lot longer.

…

JR was sat on his bed re-reading the letter that AJ had sent him, glancing between it and the magazine clipping his son had sent. He was trying to find a focus for his anger (it felt better when he was angry). Marissa and Bianca… especially Bianca… 'Binks'… that is who he hated… the way she smiled in that photograph with her arm possessively around his child's waist as if she had a right to him. It was her plan… it had always been her plan. Her revenge for what happened to Miranda, he took her child and now she was taking his… He wanted to hurt her again but if he did what he wanted then AJ would hate him in return…

Just then there was a discrete cough which pulled JR away from his contemplation. He looked up; had 'Sporty Shane' come back or had his other silent roommate finally stirred. JR blinked in surprise at the sight of a figure perched on the edge of the table.

"You haven't been taking your medication, have you?" said the ghost of Marissa, crossing her arms as she gave him a knowing look.

JR scowled and looked down trying to ignore the hallucination.

"I know you can see me!" said Marissa leaning forward.

"No." muttered JR under his breath.

"If you think I'm going to let you pretend I'm not here you're wrong. We need to talk!"

JR kept his eyes on AJ's letter, trying hard not to hear the swish of silk as Marissa got up in her blood soaked evening gown and stepped closer to stand over him.

"Do you really want to only feel this rage?" she asked.

JRs scowled. Yes, he did want the rage… he needed it, these days it almost hurt when he wasn't angry. That was why he'd stopped taking his meds almost as soon as he'd been transferred from the high security unit, hiding then from his nurse in his cheek and then spitting them down the toilet when he was free to do so. The pills stopped the anger, they made him weak, made him think. He was a Chandler, he wasn't supposed to be weak!

"What about AJ?" Marissa asked, sitting beside him in the edge of the bed. "You are clearly not ready to be the father he needs."

JR felt the indignation bubble up inside him. It didn't matter what AJ wanted… He was his father, which was all that mattered!

"Really?" said Marissa reading his thoughts. "That is the only thing that matters. Not AJ's happiness, or your health? The only thing that matters is that you get what you want! Isn't that what got you here in the first place? You wanting me and then not being able to cope with the fact that I didn't want that!"

"We are not having this conversation." JR muttered under his breath. "You leave me alone. I'm not crazy!"

"Then why am I here?" said Marissa smoothly.

JR looked up at her properly for the first time. The ghost appeared as always, her skin pale, her long hair swept back and a thin trickle of blood running down her forehead, but there was also concern in Marissa's eyes as she looked at him.

"I'm here because you need me." said Marissa answering her own question.

Then she reached out and took JR's hands in her own and he was shocked to discover he could feel the pressure of her warm fingers against his palms.

"I know I'm a few months early, but try to think of me as your ghost of Christmas Past!" she said drawing him up from the bed and pulling him towards a bright light…

…