"Well, if that's all," Zoro muttered, standing up, "I'm going to work out."

"We're not finished!" Usopp exclaimed.

Sanji snapped, "Stop!"

Zoro stopped.

"Turn around," Sanji continued, making a motion with his fingers.

Zoro turned around, glaring at Sanji all the while.

"And now sit your ass back down," Sanji finished, pointing to the chair. Zoro sat down.

"I despise you," he snarled.

"Feeling's mutual," Sanji said.

"Is there something else, Usopp?" Luffy asked.

"Yeah," Usopp said. "I've got a question for Sanji that I probably should have asked before . . ."

"Wh-What is it?" Sanji asked, stifling a yawn.

"Why are you so tired all the time?"

Sanji looked at him. "Well, the whole nocturnal thing sort of makes it difficult to move around during the daytime repeatedly."

"Oh, okay. Also," Usopp continued, "how did you become a vampire?"

"Why is that your second question?"

"Wait, Sanji-kun," Nami said, "you've been getting up in the night—um, day—to make everyone meals?"

"That's right . . ." Sanji said.

"Well, that's hardly fair to you," Franky said. "How about this: We'll all eat out tonight and let you have a lie-in. Sound good?"

"Oh, you don't have to—" he protested.

"That sounds good," Robin said.

"I agree!" Chopper said vehemently. "Sanji, you need the sleep!"

"So we're all in agreement?" Zoro muttered.

Usopp and Nami nodded. Everyone looked at Luffy, who looked down and drew circles on the table with his finger.

"Well . . ." he pouted. "It's not gonna be as good as Sanji's food . . ."

Nami hit him.

"Okay, fine."

"Thanks, everyone," Sanji said, relieved.

"If that's all . . . ?" Zoro asked, glancing at Sanji warily.

"That's all," Sanji said.

Zoro pushed back his chair and stood up.

"Hold still," Sanji said as Zoro was walking to the door. Zoro froze.

"Turn around," Sanji said.

Zoro turned around. "What is it now!?" he spat.

"Nothing," Sanji said, smirking. "That's really fun. Alright, get outta here."

Zoro glared at Sanji and left the kitchen as quickly as possible. The others left as Sanji cleared the dishes into the sink.

Robin paused before she left. "Sanji," she said, "weren't you going to tell us how you became a vampire?"

"Ah," Sanji said. "Right. I suppose I'll do it later tonight . . ."

"Procrastination is the grave in which opportunity is buried," she teased, smiling a bit as she too headed out.

Later, Sanji awoke on the kitchen floor. He sat up and glanced outside—the sky was dark. He yawned, and went out to stretch his legs.

When he came out onto the deck, he found the others sitting in a circle on the lawn, apparently waiting for him since they had left a spot open. He came and sat down with them.

"Hey, Mr. Bitey!" Usopp greeted cheerfully. Sanji glared at him.

"How was dinner?" he asked the group at large.

"Eh," Nami said, scowling a bit. "The waiter was really annoying. But never mind that . . ."

"Yeah," Franky said, "Bro Sanji, you wanna be a human again, right?"

"Of course I do," Sanji said immediately. "I can't be much of a cook when everything except blood tastes like shit. Plus, no one else here is nocturnal. I just didn't think there was a way to turn back."

"Perhaps you haven't been looking hard enough," Robin suggested lightly. "Let's start from the beginning: How did you become a vampire?"

Sanji shrugged. "I don't know."

"Whaddya mean you don't know?" Zoro muttered, yawning.

"I mean I don't know. I just woke up like this our second day on the island."

"So something must have happened the first day," Chopper reasoned.

"Doesn't someone become a vampire by being drunk from by another vampire?" Nami asked.

"I don't think so, Nami-swan," Sanji said. "I'm pretty sure no one I've drunk from became a vampire."

"Yeah," Usopp said, scowling, "I can tell you that first-hand."

"Will you drop it already!?"

"I've heard that one becomes a vampire by drinking a vampire's blood," Robin said, "and having that same vampire drink the human's blood."

"I'm pretty sure I would remember drinking someone's blood," Sanji said.

"Let's retrace your steps," Robin suggested. "Tell us everything you did that first night."

"Alright, let's see . . ." Sanji leaned back and thought. "I left the ship and went to the festival. I walked around for some time without talking to anyone and I saw a booth with some meat samples. I got a shish kebob and ate it, throwing away the stick. Then I saw the Ring Toss booth and won two prizes for my darling Nami-swan and Robin-chwan. While I was looking for them, I saw some asshole harassing a nice young lady, so I let someone hold the prizes and kicked the shit out of him. The lady was gone when I tried to talk to her. After I took my prizes back, the asshole I beat up asked me to follow him. I figured he wanted to fight, so I followed him into an empty back street. He drew a weird circle on the ground with chalk and added weird symbols around it. He asked me to stand in the middle of the circle, and when I did, he started chanting in some foreign language. The circle started glowing. When he finished chanting, it stopped glowing. I congratulated him on the trick and left—"

"Wait wait wait, hold up," Usopp said. "What?"

"Yeah, he was some weirdo," Sanji said, shrugging. "It was just a harmless trick, so—"

"And you don't think that has anything to do with your current state?" Franky asked.

"Why would I?" Sanji asked. "Magic isn't real."

There was a moment of silence.

"Okay, hold up," Zoro said. "Our crew includes a man made of rubber, Pinocchio, a talking reindeer, a woman who can sprout limbs from just about anywhere, and a robot . . . and you're saying that magic isn't real."

"Oi!" Usopp snapped, rapping Zoro on the head.

"Fine, point taken," Sanji said irritably. "So you think that weirdo is responsible for this?"

"It's likely," Robin agreed. "I've never seen magic outside of the miracles we call Devil Fruits, but for the sake of argument . . . it's worth checking out. Why don't we pay a visit to this person?"

"Okay," Luffy said. "Where does he live?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Aw, it'll take forever to find him!" Chopper complained.

Sanji's stomach grumbled. Everyone looked at him.

He coughed. "Er, I remember that the guy has red hair, if it helps . . ."

"Did he have a lot of freckles?" Nami asked.

"Uh—yeah, he did."

"And you said he was an annoying asshole?"

"Uh-huh."

"Well, unless there are two red-haired freckled assholes in this town," Nami said, "I think that guy was our waiter tonight."

"Come to think of it . . ." Franky muttered.

"That . . . doesn't really help, though," Zoro pointed out. "He didn't exactly tell us where he lives."

"Well, I stole his wallet," Nami said, whipping said wallet out. "There might be something in here that helps."

"You robbed our waiter?" Zoro asked.

"He was a jerk, so he deserved it. Anyway . . ." Nami opened it and flipped through it. "I already took the money out . . . okay, here're some photos, so maybe these will help . . . oh, why are we doing this out here?" she snapped. "It's too dark to see! Let's go inside."

"Okay," Sanji said, examining the two photos once everyone was seated around the kitchen table. "This is definitely the guy."

The red-haired man, in the first photo, was standing with someone else outside of a house. The second photo was just a picture of the town from a distance.

"Alright, this photo doesn't tell us much," Sanji said, "but maybe that house is where this guy lives."

"So . . ." Chopper leaned over to look at the photo. "The house is painted blue . . . and it looks like it's between a green house and a red house."

"Close enough!" Luffy exclaimed, standing up. "Let's go!"