Right, after the glitch on Saturday I hope everything is now working fine.
Thank you all for your reviews this week. I've gone back to old School Bianca for most of this next chapter, but there are not many JR / Bianca moments I could find online so to those in the know, if I've missed out on any other important moments I appologise.
SPOILERS - this week - JR gets a haunting he'll never forget, Tad finds a vital clue and the trial begins.
...
The flash of light faded and JR found himself in Krystal's Bistro, phantom Marissa standing beside him.
"What do you mean you want me pregnant!" a different Marissa exclaimed and JR turned to see himself talking intently to his ex-wife; a very unsettling sensation. It was him from just over a year ago, just days after Marissa had returned to his bed. He had believed his family was back on track, but his one night stand with Amanda was threatening to ruin it all and Marissa too for some reason was backing away and running scared all over again.
"Why am I here… How am I here?" JR asked turning to his ghostly companion.
Marissa shrugged.
"I don't know, it's your hallucination. I'm just here to help you pay attention." With that she nodded her head to draw his focus away from Marissa and JR's awkward conversation to the restaurant door. "After all Marissa isn't the one you've decided to hate!"
In the next moment the door to the Bistro opened and Bianca walked in. For the first time JR noticed what he had failed to notice the year before; the complete look of realisation and terror that flashed in Marissa's eyes at the sight of her 'best friend' and then her vain, but oddly successful attempt to hide her reaction from a distracted JR. It was a sour note to know he had been fighting a losing battle even then.
Marissa got even more uncomfortable when Bianca's date arrived and then she practically ran to the wash room to hide an attraction that was now so obvious to JR's knowing eyes.
Bianca's date wandered off as well leaving JR and Bianca alone.
"Did you notice that?" the younger JR asked pointing at the retreating Marissa.
"I don't know what you mean." said Bianca and this time round the watching JR caught the tremor in Bianca's voice; she knew.
"Marissa." said the other JR. "She's rattled and we both know why!"
"You really don't." said JR looking at his naive younger self. "You really don't."
"Marissa is confused and upset. I don't blame her" said the other JR following Bianca across to the bar.
"Um… well who do you blame?" Bianca asked cautiously.
"Well who do you think? Me, as usual. It's not like it's that big of a surprise!"
Bianca's back stiffened, suddenly rushing to Marissa's defence.
"JR, did you do something to hurt her?" she asked curtly.
JR didn't respond he was too distracted by another text from Amanda, still no news from the hospital…
"JR…" prompted Bianca again, drawing him back to the conversation. "Is something more important?"
"What, no I was just making sure everything was okay… at work."
"Okay, well I thought you were worried about Marissa and what the heck you'd done to her!"
JR looked down.
"I've made a huge mistake." JR admitted, before looking up to meet Bianca's eyes. "Telling you I could take it from here, that I could handle Marissa by myself."
Bianca looked relieved and despairing at his words.
"That was you're big mistake?"
"Yeah, and I need your help again."
Bianca looked distraught now, clearly not wanting to be drawn in again, knowing all too well what was happening in this triangle between her and Marissa and JR.
"JR, she was you're wife!" she protested.
But this JR couldn't see her discomfort,
"I know." he said, putting on a pleading tone. "But in a lot of ways you're closer to her than I am."
Bianca shook her head, trying to dismiss his words.
"No that's ridiculous." she said.
"I'm serious." said JR, and he was, "It's like you're the only one who knows what she wants. What's really in her heart."
Bianca could only stare fearfully back at him in silence.
Marissa clicked her fingers and froze the scene.
"Did you mean what you said there?" Marissa asked.
"Well at the time I didn't know she was trying to steal her from me."
"Really," said Marissa, peering closer at Bianca's wide eyed expression. "'Steal her from you'..? Because to me it looks like she's doing everything in her power to stay away."
JR followed Marissa's gaze. Frozen in the moment Bianca did look scared, the same terror that had painted Marissa's face when Bianca first walked in.
"I don't think either of them knew what was going to happen between them." said Marissa, "I certainly don't think any of this was done out of spite for you."
"Sure." said JR with a sniff, "But she did it anyway, even though she was supposed to be my friend! She steals everything from me!"
"You're friend." said Marissa a new thought entering her head. "Yes, you were friends weren't you? Let's look at that shall we?"
And with that she clicked her fingers and the world went white again.
…
The light faded and JR found himself standing in corridor of his old high school beside a battered set of lockers, just as his younger self walked past. Just a kid… had he really been that short and that blond?
Curious JR followed himself down the hallway and round the corner to see young 'Junior' approach Bianca and Laura standing by their lockers looking just as youthful.
He watched himself self-consciously plunge his hands into his pockets before he spoke.
"Hey Bianca." he said, "I heard what you did at the Crystal Ball. That took a lot of guts."
Bianca looked nervous, but happy to have his support.
"Well I just told the truth, but thanks a lot Junior."
He watched as his youthful-self bunched his hands into fists and knocked them together.
"And if anyone gives you a hard time let me know. I'll use them for hockey practice!" Junior added.
"When is this?" Marissa asked.
JR scowled.
"Um… Bianca had just been forced to come out at the party to the world's press."
"And it looks like you are very proud of her."
"Just shows you how things change…" said JR sourly.
Bianca, Laura and the young JR were just sharing a joke about the fact that all their moms were married to JR's dad when a reporter came up behind them to confront Bianca. He was nasty, making rude insinuations about Bianca and everyone around her.
Marcus the captain of the football team was the first to take action, grabbing the guy by the lapels and demanding that he leave. The reporter refused, spouting more abuse along with cries of 'free press'. Soon every kid in the corridor stepped into the fray, standing up for Bianca, young JR included. He grabbed the guy's camera while Laura shoved the man's tie down his throat while the rest of the football team forced the creep into a locker.
"You know, it almost looks like you're protecting her." said Marissa, but JR just turned away in disgust.
"What is this supposed to be showing me?" JR asked. "That I was once young and stupid?"
He was trying very hard not to think about Bianca from the past. Truthfully he had been proud of her bravery when she came out. She was one of his few real friends, almost like a sister. Someone he looked up to.
Marissa sighed, not really buying JRs denial.
"Maybe we went back a little too far." she said and clicked her fingers and a bright flash engulfed them once more.
…
The light dissolved and JR now found himself in the old boat house, surrounded by crates of white orchids.
"Do you know where we are now?" Marissa asked.
JR frowned.
"I think this is after Leo and Greenlee's wedding." he said.
There was pumping music coming from a boom box, balanced on a nearby crate, but JR ignored that, instead following the sound of quiet conversation coming from the old landing stage.
"Tim!" he exclaimed, he had almost forgotten his old friend. In fact there were four old friends sitting on the quayside chatting, Tim, Maggie, Bianca and a still youthful JR.
JR was passing around cans of beer when Tim sat back and announced,
"So answer the bazillion dollar question, 'Why would anyone get married?"
"Why would you say that?" exclaimed Bianca, "You know most weddings don't end in a shoot-out."
Tim just shook his head at her incredulity.
"Hello, children of broken homes! Marriage is the end of fun!"
"And dates from hell." chipped in Maggie although she was clearly giving a look Tim's way when she spoke.
"You know I hate to be boy versus girl here," said young JR, sipping his beer. "But I'm with Tim. I'm just lucky my dad and Liza aren't nuclear armed."
Bianca laughed at his joke.
"I know it's cool to rip on marriage." she said, "And I'm usually primed for that but in my secret fantasy life…"
Bianca stalled slightly when she noticed the lads straighten up a little too suddenly.
"What!" she exclaimed.
"Well, we get to hear a girl's secret fantasies!" Tim quipped, taking a sip of his beer.
"Well even they don't go your way." joked Bianca, which earned cat calls from the others.
"Oh we'll take what we can get on this one." said the young JR, earning him a playful shove from Maggie.
"Okay, fair enough," said Bianca, putting down her beer, "In my deep, dark… hot… fantasies I want to…" she paused for effect before continuing. "…Blow of all the crap and concentrate on the cornball moments." She gazed at the flowers all around them. "I want to grow up ready, willing… and able… to have a wedding… a commitment, just like this."
There was a brief moment of thoughtful silence as Bianca found her drink again and took a sip.
Tim was the first to make a toast.
"To Leo and Greenlee."
"To friends that get you through." was the toast that came from young JR's mouth.
"And to love that will help you survive anything." finished Maggie.
"Cheers." said Bianca as the four friends clinked their cans together.
"What?" demanded the older JR who noticed Marissa watching for his reaction to the scene. "Am I supposed to feel bad that Bianca didn't get her dream wedding… That she's just like the rest of us with a marriage gone down in flames?"
"I think you are supposed to recognise that she is a friend. The words came from your own lips"
JR snorted in disgust.
"You'll have to do better than that!" he snapped. He was still trying to fight the other memories this was bringing up, the guilt he felt after Bianca had found him in bed with Frankie before her murder and his heartfelt apology to Bianca by her hospital bed afterwards, taking her hand wanting her to recover soon and praying she'd forgive him. He remembered how she'd intervened and tried to save him from his drug habit. Bianca had stood by him throughout his youth, the drugs and the drinking, but as he got older it was so much harder to accept any help, especially from her.
Marissa just shook her head at JR in disappointment and snapped her fingers.
…
This time, when the light dissolved, JR found himself standing in a hotel room starring at another version of himself; a bleary-eyed, unshaven drunk, fumbling around in an already emptied mini-bar searching for one last drink.
"Josh's hotel room?" said JR confused, finally recognising the moment. It had been a long time since he'd though about this night. The night he'd gone searching for Bianca's brother in order to make him pay for sleeping with Babe.
After staggering to his feet the drunken JR, headed for the door. JR watched as the door open and suddenly Bianca was there, just about to enter. She stepped back in surprise, her eyes wide, at the unexpected presence of JR in her brother's hotel room.
"Bianca again." said Marissa. "But why did you choose this moment? There are so many more interesting one. The altercation when you tried to stop her taking Bess, her own stolen baby, from you and you pushed her from the balcony in your anger? Or the time you found her in bed with Babe when they used your ego to trick you into confessing to the fact that you were drugging your wife?"
"I don't know what you mean." said JR turning back to his guide. "I didn't choose any of this!"
Despite his protest JR couldn't stop watching as a worried Bianca stepped passed JR and looked around the room, noticing the pile of empty bottles on top of the hotel fridge before turning back in realisation.
"You're drunk." she gasped. There was disappointment in her eyes.
"And you're here." smirked his younger self, menacingly closing the door behind him as he turned back into the room.
JR felt his younger self actually walked through him as he strode across the room and lay down on the bed, all the time spouting off about Babe cheating on him with Bianca's brother, maybe in this very room, on this very bed…
"Still," he slurred, "A step up from the Pine Cone… You know where Babe pretended to sleep with Josh to break up with Jaime, only this time she really slept with Josh!"
Bianca did not look very impressed with JR's drunken threats and self-deprecation.
"I think it's time I called your dad to pick you up." she said walking over to pick up the hotel phone.
The drunk JR leaped from the bed, acting all acquiescent and stalked towards Bianca,
"What," he cried, "Babe's an equal opportunity slut! She even lez-ed up with you to mess with me! Only wished you'd gone all the way and got naked though, that would have been hot!" The younger JR closed his eyes and held a finger to his forehead. "Just let me picture that for a moment, Oh yeah"
Bianca frowned and reached for the phone. JR ordered her to stop and when she didn't he ripped the receiver from her hand and pulled the phone from its socket and threw it violently across the room.
"Somebody's got to pay." JR snarled pacing between Bianca and the door.
Bianca's eyed grew wide with fear and JR could see the tears glistening in the corner of her eyes.
"What do you mean someone has to pay?" she asked nervously.
JR watched his younger self hesitate. Even in his alcohol fuelled rage he could somehow recognise the vulnerability there and backtracked quickly.
"…For the mini-bar." JR said lamely, sweeping his arm towards the pile of empties. "I cleaned that sucker out. Someone has to pay for the mini-bar and it shouldn't be me! After Josh slept with Babe, I at least deserve a drink… or twelve don't I? What do you think?"
"I think it's late." said Bianca in despair at JR's condition. "I need to get you a room so you can sleep it off."
She made for the door but JR cut her off.
"Don't go!" cried JR, all innocent once more, "Aren't we having fun?"
Bianca just stared back at him.
"Fine, stay here!" she said, "I'll make sure the manager doesn't restock the mini bar and get someone to watch the door so you don't sleep walk out of here! I need to get back to my daughter."
JR watched the expression on his younger self's face suddenly change.
"Miranda." he sighed walking over to sit clumsily down on the end of the bed "Oh Miranda. The most beautiful little girl I've ever seen. You know a child comes into this world, pure innocence… Hope… Everything at the beginning is so beautiful, but it doesn't last… Whatever you do there is no hope, no trust, no love…" As he spoke JR's tone grew more aggressive. "Someone has to pay! Did you know about Josh and Babe?"
Marissa clicked her fingers and paused the scene.
"I think we get it." she said, "You're happy, you're sad, you're angry, you're drunk… we've already seen too much of this part of you recently... we need to skip ahead to the important bit."
The world around then faded out for a moment and JR could see time flash past like a video until suddenly the scene reset and the conversation restarted.
JR pulled a cell phone from Bianca's hand and they were standing nose to nose.
"I'm not afraid of you!" exclaimed Bianca. "I can scream and they'll put you in jail."
"But what if it's too late?" JR retorted. The anger in his voice made it hard to hear his words as a question, but somehow Bianca did.
"You want to know if it's too late?" she asked, her tone softening. "We talked about that once remember? About being survivors… About not repeating our parent's mistakes… About honouring our children… And I told you that I believed in you. And that the old JR that I used to know didn't have to be lost forever, because you could make different choices, better choices." Bianca's tone hardened however and she gave him the full force of her glare. "Is this what you choose? Is this how you want to honour your son? …Then yeah, it's way too late for you JR."
With that she plucked her phone back from his grasp.
Drunk JR was suddenly subdued and fell back into the chair behind him,
"I'm sorry what I did to you, and to Kendal." he said forlornly. "You guys were my best friends… The best friends I'd ever had… God, I had such a crush on Kendal! I remember the times we'd sit… like the time we had our first beer and talked about our parents and our crazy life… I miss that!"
"I miss it too." said Bianca, but she was cautious, standing back, waiting for the next outburst and she didn't have long to wait.
JR surged from the chair and paced across the room.
"This was Babe's fault!" he raged. "She made me lose my friends, she made me lose my mind, she pushes me to the brink every single time!"
"No, JR you are doing this to yourself!" cried Bianca.
"I have done nothing but try to make this situation right!" JR all but screamed back at her.
"Stop it!" Bianca snapped. "Don't you dare play innocent victim with me! JR the wounded; JR the wronged; it's not real! You're what's wrong! You lash out and you hurt people and you cause worlds of pain and then you always land on your feet! No lessons learnt, no time done! And now after everything you have done you want somebody to hold your hand? Forget it! Life sucks - Life is tough! So deal with it! Stop ranting and raving and turning yourself into a monster… there is no agenda here… it's just good advice! Take it!"
Marissa clicked her fingers and froze the scene.
"Spooky isn't it." said Marissa." It's almost like she's talking to you now. Are you sober enough to hear her this time? Or do we keep watching until your drunken self decides it's a good move to leave through a second storey window?"
JR found himself staring at the younger Bianca. She had been his best friend. She had always tried to look out for him. But somewhere along the way he had lost his ability to hear her.
It all this brought back another memory from a few days after this night. To a JR so determined to get his life back and break from his addition that he refused any sort of drugs or pain medicine as he recovered from his broken bones. Forcing himself through the againy out of sheer force of will... And Bianca had come to see him and asked him to squeeze her hand, share his pain, she could take it. JR near broke her hand he squeezed so tight, but she stayed with him and comforted him when she really had no reason to be there... She was there because she cared...
"Have you seen enough?" Marissa asked.
JR slowly nodded his head, Bianca's words ringing in his ears…
"We talked about that once remember? About being survivors… About not repeating our parent's mistakes… About honouring our children… And I told you that I believed in you. And that the old JR that I used to know didn't have to be lost forever, because you could make different choices, better choices. Is this what you choose? Is this how you want to honour your son..?"
…