Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.
Spoilers: General up to season 4, but nothing truly specific.
Author's Note: This is dedicated to Lady Shaye and love comes and goes, who both write absolutely phenomenally.
Apologies for length; most of these are WAY too long to be considered drabbles, but eh.
part four
085. Jealousy
He held an arm out, and the blonde grabbed it with a grin.
She scowled. He had done that for her before. She hadn't let it faze her; that was the way all men treated her, bending over backwards to earn a smile (with the hope of much more). But somehow it was different with that girl, that Caroline. Even from a distance, she could see that his eyes were clear and sincere. He was doing it just to be nice.
How disgusting.
They walked slowly, allowing the rushing crowds to surge and flow around them without once breaking contact. It was clear they had no need to hurry, for they had all the time in the world.
She had given them that.
She had given them this: the opportunity to apologize for past mistakes, to right previous wrongs, to woo the girl properly, for once in his un-ending life. She had given them strength, and not just in a physical sense. She had given them everything, and it made her stomach churn and acid burn the back of her throat.
That feeling had a name, but hell if she was going to admit it.
Katherine Pierce did not get jealous.
034. River
'You can't step in the same river twice; the water's always changing, always flowing.' – Pocahontas
She washes her hands and face in the shallow river. It's biting cold, but she doesn't feel it. For a second she thinks a fish swims under her hand, but it's just the reflection of the moonlight.
She rubs her hands together fiercely, but it's unnecessary. The blood has already come off and mixed with the water, a small pool of murky darkness remaining for only seconds before flowing away too.
Caroline pulls her hands out of the water and doesn't stop to wipe them before pulling off her boots and rolling up her pants. She plunges her feet into the clear water, despite the fact that she has to go back, she has to tell someone, she has to –
"You'll get pneumonia doing that."
She pauses for a second for the words to register. She doesn't mean to ignore him, but that would just be so much easier.
"Can't. Vampire, remember?" The words come unbidden, soft and uneven.
He's silent, but she can feel him settling next to her. She doesn't look at him. Suddenly, a wave of water washes over her knees as he plunges his feet into the water too.
His face is scrunched up, no doubt at the freezing temperature she still can't feel.
She's torn. She wants to make him leave, but she doesn't know what to say. Her throat feels tight, and her body is frozen in a way that has nothing to do with the weather.
"Nice place," he comments.
She thinks about telling him that she hasn't noticed; she was too busy washing the blood of her hands, because it marked her as what she truly was, a murderer, a monster, but before she can form the words she actually takes a look around. It is beautiful. The river cuts a path between trees that reach towards the sky, almost skeletal without their leaves. The moon isn't full, but so far from any light pollution, its brightness is astounding. And the water is so clear, she can see straight to the rocks lining the bed. She can even see a school of bright silver fish making their way upstream, slow and steady.
"Nature has a way of making sure everything stays in balance. It's all beautiful, even if you can't see it right away."
He hasn't turned to look at her, but Caroline feels warmth for the first time in hours.
019. Change (spoilers for general season 4, but nothing plot-related)
Caroline learns to appreciate change.
Before (before she died, before she knew things went bump in the night, before 'a matter of life and death' was no longer an exaggeration), she spent hours in front of her mirror, checking for a new blemish or spot on her skin. She may have loved fashion, but she lacked the budget to accommodate the rapidly changing styles. Every time she was just getting used to new teachers, a new schedule, and how to balance her homework with cheerleading and being a social butterfly, the semester ended and she'd have to make new adjustments all over again.
She doesn't have to worry about those things anymore. Her skin will never wrinkle, her weight will never fluctuate, and compulsion means she'll never lack for money.
The stagnancy makes her itch.
She begins to enjoy change in other ways. The way Elena switches out the color in her hair every month, from red to blue to purple to green, somehow managing to look gorgeous with each one. How Stefan can drink a whole blood bag like it's no big deal, but can't stop the proud smile from peeking out when he's done. When Bonnie begins joining her in dancing and singing along with the radio, no matter what's playing.
She's been so attentive to the little things, she can't miss the softening around Damon's eyes, how his alcohol consumption has dropped to only college levels of binge drinking, and the fact that he reads for pleasure, instead of research.
She doesn't miss the side grin he gives her when Elena and Stefan are being particularly shmoopy, or Jeremy says something incredibly stupid, or just when she walks into the room.
It's a change she likes.
063. Rumor
The first time it happens, she's twelve. She's starting the school year with a training bra and no dad, but she smiles as big and wide as she can muster. It falls off her face in a half a season when she hears it.
'Her dad thought she was way too high maintenance.'
'Her mom only sleeps at the station, you know.'
'She totally stuffs her bra, I mean look at her!'
'Shame her dad didn't want her; we could have finally been rid of her.'
She's sobbing into Elena's shoulder, who shrugs helplessly, while Bonnie hands her tissues with a tired, knowing look in her young eyes.
'But none of these things are true!' she wails. Her dad told her over and over that he still loved her and offered to bring her with him, but she didn't want to leave Mystic Falls. Her mom has spent every night of the summer with her, falling asleep watching Disney movies. And she hates this bra; it itches and the straps tug on her all day long. If she didn't need to wear it, she sure wouldn't be!
'That's why they're rumors,' Bonnie whispers, patting her on the shoulder. 'People just like to talk about others. If they don't know what to say, they'll make it up.'
Caroline nods even though she doesn't understand. She vows to never cry because of rumors ever again.
By the time she's seventeen, the rumors have gotten a lot worse than bra-stuffing or family-shaming. She doesn't cry about it anymore; if anything, it makes her grin wider and with more teeth.
When she pulls up to cheerleading practice in a baby blue convertible with the hottest guy Mystic Falls has ever seen, she knows exactly what they're going to say about her now.
Too bad she doesn't care.
006. Silver (post Caroline's birthday/funeral, episode 3.11)
Half asleep, Caroline opened the front door.
Out of all the people she might have expected (Tyler, to apologize, Elena to cry about Stefan, Bonnie or Matt to ask how she felt) Damon Salvatore was the last on that list.
Showed how much she knew.
His eyes drift over her still bloody shoulder before quickly washing over her. No matter how many times he did that, even when he was clearly just checking to make sure she had all her parts, it freaked her out. A shiver ran through her, and she wanted to think of a biting and witty comment as to why he was standing at her front door at dawn.
Finally looking at her face, he pulled out a long, thin dagger. It was plain, but bright, and she could already imagine hiding it in a tall boot or in a thigh holster.
"Just in case," he gritted out.
Her eyebrow rose delicately, but before she could question him, he placed it in her open hand.
"You need to stop letting either of them get so close to you."
She opened her mouth to snap; Tyler was her boyfriend, and Klaus was a creep but he saved her freaking life, but what came out instead was:
"D'you want some coffee?"