A/N - So, as I was informed that I can't respond to reviews in the chapter, I won't be doing that anymore.
So, credit to PianoPrincess for this idea. Thank you!
Fanfiction, Mortal Website, Creates Mary Sues: As witnessed by Hermes, reader of , the mortal website has been overusing Mary Sues, the concept of a perfect person.
Apollo: So, what's a Mary Sue?
Hermes: It said it a lot in the article, Apollo, didn't you read it? A Mary Sue is, like, the perfect person. Like, flawless. Like, totally perfect.
Apollo: Like, a perfect person?
Hermes: Yeah. 100% perfect.
Apollo: Oh, I know a Mary Sue!
Hermes: You read fanfiction?
Apollo: No...why do you think that?
Hermes: Because Mary Sues only ever appear in fanfictions.
Apollo: They don't! That doesn't make any sense!
Hermes: Of course it does. Why, who is this Mary Sue you don't know?
Apollo: You mean, the Mary Sue I know?
Hermes: Yes. Do tell us, who is your imaginary friend?
Apollo: My...imaginary friend?
Hermes: Yes. Who is the Mary Sue?
Apollo: I'll tell you.
Mary Sues are quite
Perfect and I know a one
I'm a Mary Sue!
Hermes: ...
Athena: ...
Artemis: ...
Apollo:
I'm a Mary Sue
Because I am so perfect
'Cause I thought you said...
Artemis: Brother, you are not perfect.
Athena: Agreed.
Hephaestus: Since disagreeing with Artemis will make me a jackalope, I agree.
Zeus: And if I'm not perfect, no one is.
Poseidon: Actually, I'm the most perfect one here. I'm a Mary Sue.
Zeus: No, I'm a Mary Sue!
Poseidon: By Hades, when will you realize and accept that I am more awesome and perfect than you? Νόθο αδελφό (Flawed brother)
Hades: You're both flawed. Me? Oh Zeus! I'm a Mary Sue.
Zeus: Όχι, εσείς είστε οι πιο λανθασμένη. (No, you are the most flawed)
Hades: No, I'm a Mary Sue. Accept it, I am the perfect one.
Hermes: *Sighs in exasperation* No, guys, "Mary Sue" refers to an ultra-perfect female. The term for males is "Gary Stu".
Apollo: Hi, my name's now Gary! Um, Gary Stu!
Hermes: *Sighs in exasperation* And it's not a good thing.
Hades: Watch out. I am perfect, I am a Gary Stu, and if you anger me I will do something terrible to you.
Hermes: *Sighs in exasperation for the third time* No, "Mary Sue" and "Gary Stu" always describe the boring characters, the unrealistic characters, the characters that no one can stand.
Artemis: Well, no one can stand Apollo, so it fits there.
Apollo: Hey, sis, you're not a Mary Sue. You are not perfect.
Artemis: I'm more perfect than you are.
Apollo: Well, that's impossible, 'cause I'm a Mary Sue. There is nothing and no one more perfect than me.
Hermes: Gary Stu.
Athena: Than I.
Apollo: Whatever.
Athena: No, it's than I, not than me.
Hermes: No, Apollo, not whatever. You're not a girl, are you?
Artemis: Luckily not...
Apollo: No! I'm not a girl! I'm a Mary Sue!
Hermes: Which means that you're an absolutely perfect girl.
Artemis: Neither of which is true.
Apollo: ...
Hermes: *Sighs in exasperation for the fourth time* Apollo, "Gary Stu" is the male form of "Mary Sue". As you're a male, you'd be a Gary Stu, not a Mary Sue.
Artemis: Hermes, you're forgetting that he's not perfect.
Hermes: Yeah. Apollo, you're neither a Mary Sue nor a Gary Stu.
Apollo: Hey, I'm totally perfect.
Aphrodite: Apollo, I am the most perfect. We all know that.
Hera: Not true. I am.
Aphrodite: You never have kids any more. You're not beautiful. You don't entrance every man you meet.
Artemis: All of which is good. But of course there's no hope for you, Aphrodite. Lovesick weasel.
Hermes: Um, can we not get back to the weasel topic?
Hebe: Don't even mention those weasels. They turned my temple into a weasel. I had huge magic weasels running around it for days. And they were old weasels. Talk about insults.
Poseidon: Um, sorry.
Hebe: Yes, Poseidon. It was you who transformed my temple, wasn't it. I know it was you.
Poseidon: It was sort of inevitable, you know...
Hebe: That's no excuse. The weasels were old. I had never felt more insulted.
Poseidon: I said, I'm sorry!
Zeus: Well, you're clearly not a Mary Sue, Poseidon.
Hermes: Gary Stu!
Poseidon: I'm more of a Mary Sue than you are.
Hermes: Mary Sue is the feminine term!
Zeus: Really? Well, then yeah, Poseidon, you're more feminine than I am.
Poseidon: Oh, really?
Artemis: Accept your bad fates. You're both men.
Apollo: Good fates. It means we're Mary Sues. It's the masculine term, you know.
Artemis: Oh, wow.
Hermes: No! Mary Sue is feminine, Gary Stu is masculine!
Apollo: Whatever.
Hermes: No! I refuse to have you muddling them up any longer. Hephaestus, close the forum down.
Hephaestus: Yeah, okay...
Athena: Well, fine. Straighten up your thoughts, Apollo.
Artemis: Yeah.
Hermes: One last briefer, Apollo. Mary Sue is femi
Hephaestus: And that is what I do to people who give me orders. I cut their Internet connection. Remember that, everyone. Bye.
A/N - Note: Hebe is the goddess of youth.
So, ideas would be greatly appreciated, whatever they are.
Anyone else think Apollo is a bit slow here?
Favorite god or goddess, anyone?
Thank you!